Topic started by Kickboxer (@ 1cust87.tnt41.bos2.da.uu.net) on Wed Mar 19 11:08:04 .
All times in EST +10:30 for IST.

We all know that the Dowry System, eventhough against the law, is prevalent in Tamil Nadu and other parts of India. Most Spineless young men think of it as their 'Birth Right'. Some men who believe that it is wrong also yield to the pressure of parents and family members, not having the courage to stand up to them. If at all there is someone who can do something about it, it is the groom. If the grooms don't say NO, the practise will continue for ages to come. The victims of this crime are always the women and their parents.
What do you people think about this? Give your opinions!

Responses:

• Old responses
  
• From: Ravi (@ 203.145.179.2) on: Fri Apr 18 08:15:30 EDT 2003
  
  Dowry Harassment. very good social happening for the future nation builders (people like us) to discuss about.
  
  Being a man, i feel most of the dowry harassment cases comes to limelight post marriage.hence the ouright factor comes to the mind is misunderstood financial agreements. if the couple distance themselves from their ancestors (mainly relatives)after marriage, they can work and earn to settle all the financial disputes arising out of perusugal.
  
  
• From: anitha (@ adsl-68-88-201-4.dsl.rcsntx.swbell.net) on: Fri Apr 23 22:01:51
  
  I am surprised to see men on this site against dowry system. Infact I thought all Indian men are spineless mama's boys. I really appreciate you guys. Unless there is a change in the attitude of men nothing will change. Because in our Indian weddings it is the groom who is given importance and the bride has no role to play. what kind of culture we are trying to preserve. Eduaction alone wont solve the problem because we have educated brutes who accept dowry. So where is the education resolving things. All the highly educated brutes shamelessly take dowry. Only men of steel can stop these atrocities on women.
  
  
• From: Kickboxer (@ 61.1.201.249) on: Sat Apr 24 16:05:33 EDT 2004
  
  Anitha,
  
  We appreciate your reply, Please don't say that it is only the man's job to stop the Dowry practice. Women do have a role to play, they have to take a stand and say that they won't marry a guy who asks for dowry! Women have to stop being "Aduppu oothum pengal" (women of the kitchen) and take their proper place in the society.
  
  you are probably the first woman to post in this thread! Most other women are interested only in the Rahul Dravid fan club. May be, they don't mind marrying a 'spineless' guy!!
  
  
• From: Kickboxer (@ ) on: Thu May 6 17:48:17
  
  http://www.indiatogether.org/women/dowry/pledge.htm
  
  Guys,
  
  Please take a look at this site.
  
  
• From: Snowfire (@ ) on: Sun Aug 8 17:58:21
  
  Another negative effect of the dowry system is the current (very) dangerous birth-rate ratio in India. If the immoral, unethical, and uncivilized practice of the dowry system, dowry "murders" and female infantcide continue the concept of "blood-line purity (in casts) will become extinct by default. Male(Hindu) genetic endowments are already in regression due to the very skewed birth-rate ratio. In our human past and in nature such a condition heralded the extinction of the affected speices. Today, it simply results in the propagation of unhealthy(human), "low (survival)value" genetic traits. The dowry system, its practices and the greed it breeds will ultimately bring down those who continue the tradition.
  
  
• From: davie (@ 000f660dd37e.utep.edu) on: Tue Aug 10 13:21:33 EDT 2004
  
  regarding dowry system, there is nothing wrong in it.
  For example, a dad and mom who has only one daughter and no other children, can spend most of their properties and give allmost all of their belongings to the bride groom.
  So, guys must really look out for brides who are the only child to their parents.
  
  
• From: sam (@ stat72-220.dsl-chen.eth.net) on: Thu Aug 12 07:37:31 EDT 2004
  
  Dear Folks,
  Dowry in any form is unacceptable.
  It's a shame that it's common among all the religious communities of S.India.
  Dowry is only permissable when a girls' family voluntarily presents the couple, the proceeds,which can go towards the upbringing of the children,if case anything untowards happens to the father or the mother.
  It's better to get your daughter married to a boy who is capable of earning on his own and is willing to take his wife to an independent home.
  
  In the Middle-East,the dowry is paid by the grooms' family to the bride.So many a groom have been subsidised by govt's to get married.
  In Japan and the US,the guests subsidise the couple.
  I don't know much about the other countries.
  But,the in-laws problems surfaces in each and every country.So it's better to be independent as soon as the cople gets married.
  
  
• From: R.Sri Hari (@ modem38.bayrac3.eureka.lk) on: Thu Aug 12 08:41:06 EDT 2004
  
  Even in this Third Millennium, we hear of many cases of harassment for Dowry by the In-Laws among the societies in Tamil Nadu, and thereby many young married Women are undergoing untold miseries - with verbal & physical abuses and immense mental torture by these In-Laws, and in many cases even by their own Husbands, ending up in they getting nervous breakdowns, commiting suicides, and Bride burnings.
  
  If this situation existed among the uneducated, illiterate, poor families it is quite understandable. But very unfortunately this also exists among the educated - moderate and the rich - families of medium and high social standings.
  
  Hence every effort must be taken by all Tamils in TamilNadu to wipe out this ugly practice of Dowry System from our societies.
  
  
  
• From: davie (@ gurian) on: Sun Aug 15 12:28:43 EDT 2004
  
  i am totally opposing harassment for dowry by the inlaws and the husband.
  Well again i know many cases where the bride is the only daughter and they are willing to give the groom all the money or wat ever they have coz the bride is their only child.
  Infact, they are willing to give more money and just take care of the expenses. Nothing wrong in this is indid.
  But grooms should not expect dowry from poor people who are not able to give money, well this should be the trend rather than mandatory dowry.
  
  

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