I was born into a Hindu family but recently after diving deep through intricacies, I find there are many contradictions in this religion as well as conflicting beliefs. God is far too great to be placed in any religion. Religion is only a focal point and if anyone asks me, I'd say that I'm an agnostic thiest who doesn't deny the supernatural.

Over the weekend, I went to celebrate Shri Krishna Janamashtmi Maha Mahotsav and visited a stall "Back to godhead", which just like any other Isckon subsidiary, primarily aims to get people chanting their transcendental Maha Mantra. Anyway I saw a family tree of Lord Krishna (Trying to find this picture online and no luck so far!) starting with Lord Vishnu, second to come was Lord Brahma in brackets reading from the Lord Vishnu’s naval and then in the third generation amongst others like Agni, Vayu etc. was Lord Shiva.

I was totally baffled... I came home and done my research and found out the Lord Shiva himself is the Trimurti, i.e. Sadyajota (Brahma), Vamadeva (Vishnu) and Aghora (Shiva).

The former belief is obviously a Vaishnav one and the later being a Saivite one. But seriously, despite being considered the oldest religion, Hinduism is no way a religion and is rather a set of collected beliefs that is still evolving even today. So many branches and then you have taboo matters as caste which divides this religion further. At best it should be considered a way of life, not a religion. As a Hindu I used to question myself and say if I believe in Hanuman, then I'm not doing justice to Shiva. If I believe in Mata then I'm not doing justice to Krishna, etc. I used to feel guilty in praying to individual gods though I knew God wouldn't mind as long as I worship him/her in any form. So over the years I've become a monotheist, who doesn't comprehend the idea of worshiping different gods even if they are focal points. I’m not against Polytheism; I just don’t seem to understand it. When I feel that I've received a blessing I just thank god and don't feel the need in chanting a prayer devoted to a specific god. Occasionally I end up chanting, Om Namah Shivay, Namoh Narayan, Jai Mata di, Hare Krishna etc. without any reasoning. I feel that it’s the soul that makes this accidental decision and not the mind.

I also chant Jai Ho! for Rahman Ji lol Jokes apart, as a conclusion, one needs not to be religious or pious! You can still feel a personal connection with the supreme without having a religion. This is just how I feel and spirituality has overtaken my religion for me.
I just wanted to question the Trimurti but ended up getting carried away lol

One World. One Family.