THIS IS AN EXPERIMENT!! PLEASE READ IT AND GEIVE SOME FEEDBA

[Surya]

Hi, This is an experiment. It's a rough rought rough draft! Based on a movie called Training Day - Starring Denzel Washington, and Ethan Hawk. I have many improvements that I want to do as far as the style of writing etc. but please give me ur opinions.

It's got some lauguage, and references. But doesn't offend anyone. So please, give me some reviews.

Chapter 1.

My name is Jake. Jake Hoit. I’m 25 and have been on Valley Patrol for all my Law Enforcement Career. I woke up scared, nervous, and anxious. Today was the day. The day that would determine if I was a Narc or just another cop writing tickets. I looked up to see my Loretta giving Jeffrey his breakfast. I slowly walked up to her. Jeff looked comfortable in the warmth of her breast. “Good Morning.” She smiled. She always looked enchanting in the morning, the first beams of sunlight that had escaped the shutters landed on her beautiful skin.
“Good Morning.” I replied. “I’ll be right back.” She nodded. I brushed my teeth and took a shower, hoping that might make me feel better. I was wrong. I got dressed and clipped my 9mm Berretta to my belt. The butterflies in my stomach had gotten worse. I took a deep breath, smelt Eggs. Breakfast. I walked into the kitchen and saw Loretta putting eggs and potatoes on a plate.
“Here’s breakfast.” She said. I smiled.
“No thanks. I don’t feel like eating.”
“Eating will make you feel better.”
“No, it’s ok, I’m too nervous to eat. It’s just tha….” The phone rang. Loretta picked it up. I opened the refrigerator for some juice.
“Hi, I’m fine, how about you?” I turned around. It might be my parents, it might be her’s, it might be Johnny, it might be one of her friends, it might be the pope, or it might be him. “Sure,” She smiled into the phone. “Just a second..” she covered the receiver. “It’s Alonzo.” She said. It was him. I walked up to the phone. Exhaled and spoke to the receiver.
“Yeah.”
“Officer Hoit, It’s Alonzo, I’m your supervising officer.” His voice was deep and bold, reminded me of Wesley Snipes. “I’m at the Roadside Café, It’s a Coffee shop on Auburn. You don’t have to be early just be on time. Do you have a firearm, and a back-up?”
“No, I just have the department issue berretta.” I answered hoping that was good.
“That’s fine, bring it along, we probably will stay inside the office the whole day, but we might see some action. I’ll see you in a bit.”
“Yes, but sir..”
“Yes”
“ I just want to thank you or this oppurt…” He hung up. I exhaled, and did the same. I put my palms on the table and tried to breath. Loretta put her hand on my shoulder.
“What’s wrong?” I turned to face her.
“I just feel like it’s the first day of football practice, I already want it to be tomorrow so I can know the result. It’s just…”
“It’s going to be ok.” She said as she got on her toes to reach my lips. That always made me feel better. No matter what was going to happen. Her magical kiss was the medicine.
“Thanks” I smiled.
“Now go on Officer Hoit.” She smiled back. I kissed her again and headed out the door.

Chapter 2.
Here it was, Roadside Café. I walked in. Many senior citizens sat in groups drinking coffee. I looked around the room. There he was. He was black. His cheeks sagged down a bit. His lips moved as he read the newspaper. His goatee reminded me of Martin Laurence in Nothing to Loose. The florescent lights shined off of the huge shiny Cross on his chain. He was wearing a shoulder holster. In the pockets were two pistols. I couldn’t tell what they were. I walked up to him. “Hi.” I sat down.
“Hello.” His ‘hello’ was inattentive and uninviting. He didn’t take his eyes off of the paper. The waitress walked up to our table.
“No thanks.” I said, she smiled, and walked away.
“Get something, you’ll need it.” He still didn’t take his eyes off the newspaper.
“No, it…”
“Fine don’t.” He didn’t see my face since I walked in. I needed to get his attention.
“So where are we going to..” I started.
“Can you please shut up, I’m trying to read my paper.” His rudeness hit me. I still needed his attention.
“Actually I might get something to eat.” I said hoping he’d look up.
“No you won’t. You fucked that up! Just shut-up, I’m trying to read my paper.” He didn’t look. One side of me told me to shut up, the other told me to talk. Sanatos. I knew that I might be committing suicide. But I still went for it.
“Actually, I would like to eat now.” Almost every muscle in my core was clenched. He looked up. Smiled. The muscles loosened. I smiled.
“Jake, tell me a story.” I was surprised. I wasn’t ready for a story. Maybe I’d tell him about the time I cuffed P-Diddy. Would he believe it?
“My Story?” I asked.
“No. Not YOUR story, A story.” I knew he wasn’t going to fall for the P-Diddy bit.
“I don’t know any stories.” I said with hesitation.
“You don’t know any stories, alright, I’ll tell you a story. You see this?” he asked with his newspaper in his hand. I nodded. “This is a newspaper, it’s 99% bullshit! But it’s entertaining, that’s why I read it, because it entertains me. You won’t let me read it, so you entertain me with your bullshit.” It took me a second to understand his fast speech.
“Ok…A couple years ago, I stopped a DUI.” I started.
“A DUI? Let me load up my guns!” He pushed the butts of his pistols together. “Oh SHIT!” I smiled.
“Anyway, It was a real quite night..”
“BHOOM!!!” He yelled. My body flinched.
“What the…”
“That’s exactly my point, you never know. Continue.” Was that my first lesson for the day?
“Well, me and Michel were..”
“Who’s Michel?”
“Oh Sorry, Michel, my training officer.” A smile appeared at the corner of his mouth.
“You had a female training officer?” He whispered. I nodded not sure what expression to express. He rubbed his butt against the seat like he was getting comfortable. “Oh…Alright…alright.” he had a big smirk on his face. “So what was she? Black, white what?” What did that have to do with what I was about to say?
“She was white.” I answered. He smiled again.
“Was she a ‘lick her license’?” I had no idea what he was saying.
“What?”
“A Lick Her License, A Lesbian, was she a Lesbian?”
“No, she was straight.”
“Alright keep going.” Why was any of this important to him?
“So an Acura pulls out of the driveway, and speeds through the streets. I start blinking the lights, the guy keeps going like I’m invisible for 10 blocks, then pulls over. I check his license, everything’s good, but the car isn’t his. The Acura was reported stolen a couple days ago, so we arrest him, and Michel tells me to check the Trunk. I put him in the patrol car and check the trunk, and guess what I find? 50 k’s of Coke. And 2 double barrel shotguns, Loaded.” He seemed to be into the story now.
“Oh shit.”
“It turns out that this guy was on bail for probation, on his way to smoke his ex-partner in crime. We just prevented his murder. It’s amazing.” I was proud. I must have shown it. He smiled, but for some reason I thought that he would be more satisfied if I told him that Michel and I shagged like animals in the back seat of the patrol car.
“That is amazing. That for 2 years you’re out on the streets with a fine bitch and the best story that you can tell me is about a DUI stop?” He looked at me like I was crazy. “But I don’t think so.” He tilted his head to the left and squinted his eyes. “You tapped that ass didn’t you?” I couldn’t believe what my supervising officer was saying to me. “I mean you put her on the back of that Patrol Car and BHOOM! CODE X!” I didn’t know what to do, so I smiled. “Right?”
I thought of Loretta. “Come one man, I got a wife…”
“You got a dick.” I stopped talking, I stopped moving, was he really my supervising officer? “You do have a dick don’t you?” I nodded. What else was I supposed to do? “Ok the dick lines up like this in front of it alright?” I wished I could go deaf right this second. “It looks inside, on the sides are pockets, in those pockets are money. The dick goes inside, and BHAM!!!” He slammed his palm against the table. I flinched again. “Pay the bill and lets get the fu*k outta here!”[/tscii]