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In my opinion....
Love marriage
- Get to the know the person well
- Lot of hurdles to face... (difficult to convince the parents.. caste issues)
- May / May not get the blessings frm parents
- ASTROLOGY IS A BIG ISSUE
Arranged Marriage
- any problems.. in marriage life can be confronted easily as there will be a strong support frm ... parents
in my case arranged marriage will only happen ...so ... i better support it ..
love and love marriages ....i dunt knw ...love is really complex .....unless it is sincere ..... marriage doesnt work out ....
arranged marriage is exciting ...
both have to deliberately put in efforts to understand each other or please one another ...and it turns out to be exciting and exhilarating .....
Haha..
then parents should point at a girl, and ask their son love her..
Love come Arrange marriage
maybe i will go for love marriage!
but i don't think its so easy to fall in love either.
better stay single :lol: for a while, then ur parents will give up on u and then u might have some time to think and find a better solution "love or arranged"!?
mhm live together, quite ok, but namma cultureukku othu varadhu. :roll:
I sometimes use to think that marriage will be going smoothly if i get married to a man much elder than me, around 10-15 yrs!
what do u think?
Smooth but boring
How about arrange cum love marraige ..... Instead of love cum arrange maraige :o
maybe But i feel like i need somone who can take care of me(just like father, i never had those love from my father), walk with me, talk in kind and sweet voice?!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Raikkonen
well i know this is weird, but it's just a thought that comes across! :roll:
Love marriage is good if both are genuine.
In case of arranged marriage You join with them only when they are settled. No one will marry jobless guy (in case of arranged marriage).
but in case of love marriage love starts even at the stage when they are unemployed.
Its too good to love someone when they are struggling, share the pain and pleasure and marry when they are settled.
I know it's nice to say but is not possible for many in real life. :lol:
Arranged marriage in many cases is a business but as mentioned already You'll get support from parents.
both love and arranged marriages need effort, but in love marraiges pple don't seem to feel this need so much and this might spoil the marriage unless their love is extremely strong. in arranged marriages, pple feel this need as they have to build up love for each other and this helps the marriage. but if it's a bad match, an arranged marriage might not work out.Quote:
Originally Posted by aiwa
so i feel that, if arranged marriage, the couple have to try and get to know each other and find out if they suit each other before the marriage. and if love marriage, then the couple has to be aware that marriage will not be smooth flowing and lots of understanding, compromise etc is required. since the couple love each other, there will not be any problem in being understanding or compromising, just in that the couple might not recognise that problems would arise despite the fact that they knew each other before marriage.
p.s. i don't know if i expressed myself properly. i hope i haven't muddled it up
mostly true. but perhaps not always strictly accurate. of course not to a jobless guy, but to someone who is still coming up. for eg, the cobra beer (an indian beer company in the uk) guy got married (arranged) while his company was still struggling to come up. though his company is really big now, they couldn't have known that his company would succeed when they married the girl to him!Quote:
Originally Posted by swathy
i agree that it is good if you are there to show support when the other person is growing and can share the experience with that person.
yeah, i agree that in arranged marriages, there would be support from the parents. but it would be bad if the couple blames the parents if the marriage doesn't work out. and in love marriages, if there is a lack of support, that itself might cause the couple to try harder to make their marriage work. i'm not sure.
There is a higher % of divorce in Love marriage than arranged one's..
probably becoz.. when they r in courtship.. they try to impress the girl... but after marriage fail to maintain it... :roll:
probably. it's difficult to act nice all the time.Quote:
Originally Posted by hi
but this wouldn't be a problem if they feel in love without proper courtship, if u know what i mean. then they would know what each other is like.
Just one question...............
How can we fall in love IMMEDIATELY with a person............... who is been arranged BY THE WHOLEEEEEEEEEEEE FAMILY, cause of various PRACTICAL reasons
I personally feel in love mariages, PPL ARE IN LOVE so....... they get married
In arranged marraiages............. PPL ARE SANE, PRACTICAL, SELFISH TO SEE THEIR MATERIAL NEEDS FIRST(throw ur emotions in dustbin) .................. THEN FINALLY SLOWWWWWLY they fall in love....... (may take months or sometime even a year :roll: ).
I do not personally subscribe to arrange marriages for various personal views which is LIL EMBARASSING to be discussed here.
In arranged marriage.. just by seeing his/her financial status.. studies and family BG.. ppl will agree to get married.. without giving room to emotions...
i don't think it is possible for one to immediately fall in love. that's why i think they should get to know each other before marriage.Quote:
Originally Posted by Shakthiprabha
i'm personally not sure which type of marriage to support.
but since i am too insecure emotionally to fall in love in case the love doesn't lead up to marriage, i'd go with arranged. i couldn't fall in love with someone and then marry someone else. so i'd rather fall in love with the person i marry!
Why worry about which is better.
If in the process of living you happen to meet someone and want to spend your life (huh!) with them then fall in love and get married. Otherwise when time comes your family will help you out.
Both Love and arranged has its own plus and minus. It depends on the individuals.
I strongly believe that marriage is the decision by the super power.
Innarukku Innar endru yeludhivaithane devan andru
I believe the question is Love vs Arranged! Give us your comment..Which one is better? And not the percentage.Huh!! :?Quote:
Originally Posted by swathy
I have given already. chk previous page.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sanguine Sridhar
yendha threadla last post swathynnu thedittu varuviya?
i guess so. but i have reservations abt letting myself fall in love cos it might not end in marriage.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sandeep
Love Marriage
--------------
"It is happens like a soft breeze and continus throughout life (the feeling). Also, Love blossoms (pure love) like a flower and grows in a spontaneous way and in a healthy atmosphere
Arranged Marriage
--------------------
This is like - PUTTING TWO BIRDS IN A CAGE AND ASKING THEM TO FALL IN LOVE & LAUGHING AT THEIR ACTIONS BY VIEWING IT FROM OUTSIDE.
It is like
FALL IN LOVE.. WON'T YOU :evil: :hammer:
FALL IN LOVE.. WON'T YOU :evil: :hammer:
FALL IN LOVE.. WON'T YOU :evil: :hammer:
:banghead:
It is LIke
"KuYiLa pudichi KooNdiL AdaChi, LOVE PANAN SOLLURA ULAGAM" :banghead:
Your comments on Arranged marriage is true and funny.
On Love marriage its ur dream.
Kaanum kanavugalil Inbam Inbam
Unmai adharkku vegu dhooram dhooram
selvakumar,
In olden days, yes, its true. Whether u are in love or not, u were forced to live together. These days ITS NOT SO, they opt out of marriage.
It may take time to fall in love, when it happens, its just the same as love marriage.
i agree with you there.Quote:
Originally Posted by Shakthiprabha
and also, nowadays, pple are given more time to get to know each other before marriage, so if they really don't like each other, they don't have to get married. for e.g. my sister's senior got engaged sometime last year, but her marriage is in june this year. and my cousin sister got engaged in dec last year and her marriage is in august this year.
Sure SP.. If we are made to restrict ourself in caring about only one girl / guy, definitly OUT OF DESPERATION, IT WILL HAPPEN.Quote:
Originally Posted by Shaktiprabha
"IT IS LIKE - FORCING U TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE PERSON ALONE, MAKING YOURSELF ADJUSTING TO THEM RATHER THAN BEING NATURAL"
:banghead:
No offence in what follows.
How does one, over a couple of bondas and coffee, decide whether so-and-so is the right person to spend the rest of one's life with ? The trading of photographs without even knowing who's going to have a look at them. "KudumbathOda sErndhu sight adikkaradhu" all seem really curious to me. It smacks of double standards in families, where the kids are discouraged from internalising the whole process.
Hmm. Nice strategy.Quote:
Originally Posted by crazy
Love come Arrange is Lovvu
Arrange come Love is Javvu
:lol: PR - PiNNuReeNgaQuote:
Originally Posted by Prabhu Ram
me too.. :D I hate the logic behind selecting the girl from the tons of PHOTOS and then going to their house, eating everything.. drinking whatever available and deciding among the GANG WHETHER SHE CAN SUIT US / NOT
:banghead:
My way:
-------
"WAIT FOR IT.. PATIENTLY.. SELECT YOUR PARTNER.. LOVE SOMEONE WITHOUT EXPECTING ANYTHING.. (It should happen naturally).. Then marry him/her.. You can make the things in a positive way"
I think this modern feature is a little overrated. Can one really opt out because of basic incompatibility ? If it turns out to be something as grave as the proposed partner is a serial killer or has only half a liver left then the case is considered. Otherwise one is pretty much as locked in as in wedlock. Once engaged you already in a " nirai kuraigaLudan EtrukkoLLuthal" mode.Quote:
Originally Posted by Fire111999
Will be good.Quote:
Originally Posted by great
There will no hesitation and hurdles to tell the Love (especially seruppu adi vaangi kaathalai solla thevai illa :lol:)
Enga venumnaalum suthalaam. Pakkathu veetukkaranga parthuruvangannu bayapada thevai illa.. :lol:
College padikkarappave arrange pannitangana.. appa kittaye kaasu vaangikkalam.. :lol:
ok. quite true. but my sister's friend was actually engaged once before. they found out that the guy was not good, a bit of a pombala poruki i think. so they canceled the engagement. and nowadays, pple are allowed to take before the engagement also. for eg. the same girl talked with two other guys and they decided not to get engaged. so it is not quite there yet but it is heading towards that direction.Quote:
Originally Posted by Prabhu Ram
PPL....... GUYS......... GIRLS..... LADIES........... MEN.......
aS SUCH i am 100 percent AGAINST arranged marriage and its concept.
I just pointed out, THAT ALL PPL WHO HAD ARRANGED MARRIAGE are not too unhappily living .
selvakumar
yes, u have a point. I dont deny.
to all,
ok let me spill the beans.
WHAT I CONSIDER the most distasteful PART in arranged marriage is .......
the fact that U DONT EVEN LOVE UR PARTNER ............ it would take time .............. and without waiting for it..........
u land up.......... sharing ur most intimate thing ie. indulge in relationship (when mind and soul is still not in love)
its...................... sorry .......... too......... embarassing.
PR,
yes, in many cases they ALSO opt out because of incompatibility.
kovilla sonna seruppirukkathu! :DQuote:
Originally Posted by terminator
oh god! pls! you'd wait, u know!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Shakthiprabha
Seruppu irukkathu.. kaila thengai(coconut) vachiruntha..Quote:
Originally Posted by Fire111999
yeah..... these days...... many UNDERSTAND this concept.Quote:
Originally Posted by Fire111999
MANY WAIT. :) :P
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shakthiprabha
:clap:
But there is always a way to refrain from things that u dont like :huh:
true bg.
Ive said, PPL UNDERSTAND THIS CONCEPT and work towards it (rather NOT WORK TOWARDS IT :oops: :P )
mh love arranged?!
stay single!
onnume puriyala ulagathila, akkaraikku ikkarai paicha!
there both good and bad in both sides. its a kind of dilemma!
better do get married by the way u want. :roll: