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""LOVE MARRIAGE VS ARRANGE MARRIAGE:""
Topic started by CHANDAN SINGH BISHT (@ bayliss.coventry.ac.uk) on Mon Jan 21 13:36:36 .
Which one you want?????!!!!!! Choice is yours
Love marriage vs Arranged marriage:
Which one do you want??!!
1. Love Marriage:
Resembles procedural programming language. We have
some set functions like flirting, going to movies
together, making long conversations on phone and then
try to fit all
functions to the candidate we like.
Arranged Marriage:
Similar to object oriented programming approach. We
first fix the candidate and then try to implement
functions on her. The main object is fixed and
various
functions are added to supplement the main program.
The functions can be added or deleted.
2. Love Marriage:
It is a throwaway tye of prototype as client
requirements rises with time thus it is a dynamic
system and difficult to maintain.
Arranged Marriage:
Requirements are well defined so use of waterfall
model is possible.
3. Love Marriage:
Family system hangs because hardware called
parents
are not responding.
Arranged Marriage:
Compatible with hardware i.e Parents.
4. Love Marriage:
You are the project leader so u are responsible
for
implementation and execution of PROJECT- married
life.
Arranged Marriage:
You are a team member under project leader parents
so they are responsible for successful execution
of project Married life.
5. Love Marriage:
Client expectations include exciting feature as
spouse cooking food,washing clothes etc.
Arranged Marriage:
All these features are covered in the SRS as
required features.
6. Love Marriage:
Acceptance test possible you can try before you
Buy.
Arranged Marriage:
Product is sold as it is where it is basis.
Product once sold will not be taken back.
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Kuyil (@ p9-1*) on: Mon Apr 12 12:06:27 EDT 2004
Love marriage for me
it's me who's going to live with my husband. so, i have my say in the choice. i can't let my parents choose my life partner for me. but if they don't approve the one i love, i won't get married till my family accepts this union.
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... (@ zama*) on: Mon Apr 26 12:27:11 EDT 2004
Love marriage, u luv, then divorce {hpns mosta the time}
Arranged marriage, u learn 2 luv each other the proper way {I MEANT MENTALLY and PHYSICALLY}
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aish (@ 195.*) on: Wed Apr 28 06:29:36 EDT 2004
love marriage/ arrange marriage: i believe in my religion their is no such thing as arrange marriage or love marriage it is a tradition that society has followed i follow my religion in islam that i will marry someone who i can spend my life preparing for here and after!i will only marry with my parents blessings as they should be happy for me if not then i shall not marry untill they do.
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maxiliano (@ host*) on: Wed Jun 16 17:07:29
m perece horrible xq no hay logik la pareja no c kiere , noc xq hay gente q casa x interes CARAJO!!!!!!!! sera x dinero o x vacilonga !!!!!!!!!!! ag q asko m dan pena las personas q c casan x interes np tienen vida !
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meera karani (@ ) on: Thu Jul 15 14:58:45
arrange marriage according is more suitable because luv starts growing after marriage or during n tends to grow stronger while in love marriage by the time its marriage time all the spice of luv n romance is in the process of diminishing
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nirosha (@ j45.*) on: Tue Jul 20 00:17:25 EDT 2004
Truth is, in arranged marriages it is the families that select each other to marry. The couple is only the secondary consideration! At least in love marriages, you marry someone you do know and have developed a fondness for. It is a myth to say that sex dies down early only in love marriages. All marriages eventually undergo this dilemma when other considerations take precedence like children and other mundane matters of existence. Worse still, if we have to share premises with other fly members like in-laws!!
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blubee47 (@ 4.13*) on: Tue Jul 27 01:47:05 EDT 2004
Well All my life i guess i was never able to decide what i wanted and in the end got into a love marriage, the initial year was hell. Wondered what i had done. But later things have gotten better and atleast to a agreeable state, Things r not atall what i dreamt of sexually, mentally etc. So all u gals and guys unless the product is tried and tested dont take it home, my lesson in life which i have learnt the hard way.
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nirosha (@ j32.*) on: Tue Jul 27 23:37:27 EDT 2004
Bluebee, what do you mean by the product is tried and tested? Did you not date and plan for your future together? Did you not have privacy at all to let your love grow? Did you not have a connection physically and emotionally before you married?
If your problems started after marriage, it's probably because of the lack of a support system. Most Indian families are pretty hostile and negative towards love marriages anyway. Their expectation of the couple to iron out every wrinkle is high that the rest of the family either remains aloof or gets too meddling!
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blubee47 (@ 4.13*) on: Fri Jul 30 01:42:14 EDT 2004
Well Nirosha, my marriage was a mix of arranged and love, as my parents found the proposal and boy, butwe chatted on the internet and exchanged a lot of information and felt we really wanted to be with each other. So when my parents and his parents were ok with it we got married so we didnt really go out on dates or sit face to face and talk much at all. The entire process was internet based. (lives in US)
The reason i write this is so that all u gals and guys who might be doing this beware even if u have spent a year talking to each other on the net go out a few times to see how the person behaves when u talk what interest this person really has etc.
Dont spoil ur lives beleiving that love is blind etc. Be practical if something seem not ok u dont have to go thru with it. U will always meet somebody else.
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gops (@ 203.*) on: Fri Jul 30 03:07:50 EDT 2004
In love what u do u get married ur lover becomes
ur husband /wife..
so love ends there.
what is marriage
till u tie a manglasustra/ ring /registered
ur marriage ends there.
ur life starts after marriage
so arranged marriage is got more mileage than the luv marriage.
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Chandra (@ chrt*) on: Fri Jul 30 04:32:59 EDT 2004
I personally feel arranged marriage is good. Mine is arranged marriage and I live happily with my wife for the past 3 years.
One advantage with love marriage especially for girls is, in case of any problems with the buy like boozing, affiars etc, we can have the whole family behind us in getting the problem solved.
One more thing which I liked is the way kids grow in arranged marriage, they have a clear idea as to who they are, whats their language, basically where they stand. One of my cousin got love married, both of them speaking different languages, basically of different cultures... Now his son is a mixture of the two, the other kids in our family don't move with this poor guy very much, with my cousin there are issues related to culture like celebration of festivals, how the kid should grow etc etc...
Love marriage is good until you get married, the misic starts only after marriage. Many problems start comming up, which in real like are not at all problems.
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Chandra (@ chrt*) on: Fri Jul 30 04:33:18 EDT 2004
Don't you think a guy who goes into love marriage betrays his parents?, betrays the trust they have in him?? All the excuses like "Love is Divine" etc is fine, but I'am talking about the time when he first gets the idea to love someone... When a guy who can betray his parents who had taken care of him in the early years, what is th guarantee that he will not ditch this girl one day when he meets a very good looking girl????
Think it over...
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nirosha (@ j16.*) on: Fri Jul 30 10:25:23 EDT 2004
That's right, arranged marriages have more support. Families actually pick each other for convenience. The couple's needs are second.
Being in love is not wrong, neither is it always looks based. A lot of it is based on comfort. Being comfortable with each other that you could talk about everything and anything. Anyway, I can't argue much. I just married my husband after we dated for over 2 years. We're okay with each other.
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Fariduddin Faqiryar (@ 80.2*) on: Sun Aug 8 04:23:30 EDT 200
Arrange marraige is good than love marraige because i got arrange marriage. and i am happy with this.
thanks
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saima (@ cach*) on: Sun Aug 8 20:14:31 EDT 2004
I reckon arranged r much better, obviously coz the love actually starts after marriage. There is no point ov marryin sum1 you love coz its like ending LOVE!!! Also another thing is that if u love sum1 it dunt mean u hav to get the person.
Arrange is betta in many wayz coz parents can sort problems out, u dnt really hav to b comitted to ur husband, love is interestin afta marriage, coz u wanna hav a fresh start afta marriage!!! wot do u reckon GUYZZZZ???
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nirosha (@ j49.*) on: Sun Aug 8 23:36:32 EDT 2004
If the marriage works out well for the couple, then it's certainly made in heaven. But in real life, there are complications that gets in the way. Dowry is one reason why many families quarrel over and it certainly affects the couple. Living arrangement is the other where everything maynot be to one's satisfaction, etc. We humans grow-up as conditioned beings in our maternal homes that the litmus test of standing up for ourselves, etc comes from living independently from the birth home.
Many love marriages come under extreme pressure from the families as it's deemed inappropriate culturally. So opposition is considered the 1st option and not closing ranks in order to smoothen the transition from single life to married life for the couple.
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spunkyvixen (@ 203.*) on: Thu Aug 12 08:38:44 EDT 2004
I think it's great that you guys have had awesome experiences with arranged marriages, but it seems like the reason why you don't find love marriages acceptable is purely for the fact that you haven't experienced it.
I'm sure that if you had found your significant other through a love marriage, your opinions would be slanted. But honestly, each to their own. I also believe it's great to have family support in each facet of your life since they play such an important role. But I think the above poems/views/analogies between love and arranged marriages are a product of our long instilled thoughts that have been embedded, basically by our families.
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spunkyvixen (@ 203.*) on: Thu Aug 12 08:39:20 EDT 2004
If the chance arose where you found Mr or Ms Right, I'm sure as hell you would jump at the chance. But don't put love marriage down on unfounded beliefs. Life is full of opportunities and sometimes the experience of companionship is so wonderful.
So, the point of my post, do what makes your heart happy. Don't feel held back by family where you shouldn't have to, otherwise you end up resenting your family because you had to make a compromise between yourself and them. But, as with everything, there are limits to what you should and shouldn't do, which I'm sure you guys also agree on. But don't make misconceptions on love marriage, as it appears those in arranged marriages have never had the chance to experience a relationship before marriage.
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spunkyvixen (@ 203.*) on: Thu Aug 12 08:39:49 EDT 2004
Create harmony and love amongst yourselves and the next generation...the world is so cruel and separated already, why add to it when you can create happiness through respect?
Think about it. I'd love to hear your thoughts on what I have said.
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spunkyvixen (@ 203.*) on: Thu Aug 12 08:49:56 EDT 2004
Sorry to ramble....but as an after thought, for all you good desi's....have you ever realised that NO ONE in Bollywood movies ever has an arranged marriage??
A country that relishes on love movies, music and romance, and yet you guys find love marriages to be terrible...isn't that a bit of a contradiction?
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pooja (@ isdn*) on: Wed Aug 18 07:12:59 EDT 2004
its not love or arrange marriage that makes the marriage more successful,its all about how understandingly u take it n its upto u to make it or break it.bcoz v ourselves r responsible for everything be it good or bad.
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pooja (@ isdn*) on: Wed Aug 18 07:13:04 EDT 2004
its not love or arrange marriage that makes the marriage more successful,its all about how understandingly u take it n its upto u to make it or break it.bcoz v ourselves r responsible for everything be it good or bad.
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spunkyvixen (@ 203.*) on: Thu Aug 19 03:31:55 EDT 2004
I sooo totally agree with you Pooja! :D
I think in both situations, no matter what happens, you end up finding something that you both disagree on. You can't blame the type of marriage you opted for to blame such things...it's what makes up human.
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Koena (@ 61.3*) on: Fri Aug 20 12:52:54 EDT 2004
Some pary to marry the man they love, I humbly pray Heaven above, That I love the man I marry.
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Koena (@ 61.3*) on: Fri Aug 20 12:55:20 EDT 2004
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Koena (@ 61.3*) on: Fri Aug 20 12:55:26 EDT 2004
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shah rahul (@ 218.*) on: Mon Sep 6 00:26:26 EDT 2004
wei this is really good da mariage is a instituition
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janty (@ ) on: Mon Sep 20 01:33:31
we can't define love bcz love pray to .love may be attration alse so after the marriage this attracction can be change in to love
but in to arrange marriage love comes after the marriage. so its not necessory that ur life partner loves u
so i prefer love became arrange
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Bobby (@ 213.*) on: Mon Sep 20 12:41:00 EDT 2004
janty tu kyun nahi manty wen u get dik in ur cunt n azz afta marriage it becomes love lol i fink its betta to hav arrange marriages...
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asa (@ 193.*) on: Tue Sep 21 10:52:22 EDT 2004
arrange marriage dpends on commitement between both Mr n Mrs it depends as long a they both understand each other
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Cassanovas (@ 202.*) on: Thu Sep 30 01:51:50 EDT 2004
kaushik,kaustav,amit & raj give their opinion as below:-
since boys like us don't like to cajole any girl for our emotional & physical gratifications,so we would advise any cassanova like us to aim straight for an arranged marriage which is totally BINDAAS !!!
Cassanovas Forever
NO THANKS!!
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Gwylo (@ mail*) on: Sat Oct 2 09:29:48 EDT 2004
Either way suits me. A love marriage will normally break down with harsher side effects, but it offers greater rewards.
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Gwylo (@ mail*) on: Sat Oct 2 09:29:53 EDT 2004
Either way suits me. A love marriage will normally break down with harsher side effects, but it offers greater rewards.
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Manmohan Singh (@ dial*) on: Wed Oct 6 13:53:29 EDT 2004
Its funny that ppl ask which is better "Love Marriage or Arranged Marriage"... Its like asking which is better... Being murdered or committing suicide!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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geno (@ 61.1*) on: Wed Oct 6 19:20:23 EDT 2004
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priya (@ dsl.*) on: Tue Oct 19 09:03:48
arrange marriages are better than love marriges
arrange marriages- moved from friendship to respect, to love whearas love marriages- move from physical attraction to love and then acceptance or to hate
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Re: Chandra (@ chrt*) on: Fri Jul 30 04:33:18 EDT 2004
now thats a good one , i was in love earlier . met in college and fell in lonve .. both were from diffrent community ...she left me as there she says there was problems and pressure facing from her parents ...
yes she did follow her parental wish .. but what about me .. my life is what she ruineds ... i say that if you are strong and commited then only then you should go ahead
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I Liked this quote... :lol:
Its funny that ppl ask which is better "Love Marriage or Arranged Marriage"... Its like asking which is better... Being murdered or committing suicide!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For me Arranged marriage is better, my marriage is arranged one and I'am leading a very happy life.
If we take into account the below facts:
a) Two/more heads are always better than one
b) Our parents have brains and with their vast experience, they shall guide us well and
c) Our parents will do always good to us.
Tell me people here with kids, how many of us would like to ruin our children's future?? none right :D
I feel in all respects Arranged marriage is the right one...
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Two or more heads is good for practical decision making.
When emotions are involved, THE MAIN 2 CONCERNED individual
SHOULD BE emotionally entangled.
I REFUSE TO give full credit to love after marriage, love can crop up, afater marriage, I dont deny it. IT IS MANDATORY. No CHOICE.
When u are left with no choice, u but yield to the only choice
AVAILABLE. It may turn out good or bad.
All I wanna say is LOVE CUM ARRANGED MARRIAGE
or
ARRANGED CUM LOVE MARRIAGE is the BEST
I DISAGREE that arranged marriage IS THE BEST.
Bickerings and divorces result in both marriages.