Oldposts
23rd January 2005, 10:44 AM
Topic started by Scottie (ian.scott@bluecarrots.com) (@ modem-225-48-60-62.vip.uk.com) on Tue Mar 26 20:24:19 .
What are the odds? Do I believe in fate? Is it all a set up? At the moment I’ve been living out a joke with Deb about one of our lives being the subject of a TV show, like the Truman show. It’s not real…… Obviously life is real, but it does throw up, from time to time little coincidences that make you think otherwise.
My particular example happened not 4 hours ago. But first I’ve to set the scene. My name’s Ian and I’ve been seeing my girlfriend, Deb, for just over a year. The state and circumstances of our relationship aren’t the subject of this piece other than the adverse effect an old university friend of mine has on them. Her name (and it had to be a her eh?) is Ang. At one point during my lonely singleship I was infatuated with her. I now realise it was only because she was the only woman who actually paid me any attention, although it was never of the sexual nature. Hmm that makes this sound more like an American chatshow revelation than I’d intended. But anyhow this has been the subject of a little tension between Deb and I. I’ll just state here for the record that I’m completely and utterly In Love with Deb. More than a former cynic like myself even likes to admit. But anyway on with the tale.
It’s a simple list of things that happened tonight really, but in my mind it springs upon us a question of are we really the masters of our own destiny. I’ll set the scene.
Deb works shifts as do I. This has lead to, in our modern world, our own way of communicating through email at all hours. We’ve both email addresses at home and at work, which means we can have conversations anytime really. Even though we might not be able to see each other or have the opportunity to make a phone call. Hey all it takes is a three-word email and everybody’s happy! It’s got to the point of being so familiar, this electronic messaging, that we use it even when we could talk on the phone! I hope this shows how we work. It may seem odd to you but, hey, it works for us.
Now I live pretty close by to Ang, the old university friend, and occasionally used to go out for a drink with her. But to be honest with you I pretty much stopped meeting her when it became clear to me that Deb wasn’t happy with this situation. Subsequently I’ve exchanged Text messages with Ang but not actually seen her. However my Mum (who knows Ang) doesn’t know this.
This weekend Deb and I went to the wedding of an old friend of mine in my old hometown. When we were at my parent’s house my Mum asked if I’d seen Ang lately. This, unfortunately, set off Deb’s jealous side. I answered, truthfully, that I hadn’t seen Ang for ages. And so the wedding went off with us both in a state of semi argument. No words were exchanged but we both know why there was an air of tension. It was purely because the never mentioned subject of Ang was broached. Perhaps if we were on Jerry Springer we’d be told that the subject should be opened up to hours of scrutinizing by us as a couple, but neither of us would be comfortable with that. Luckily though by the following evening everything was back to normal.
This evening Deb and I were making plans via email to meet up tomorrow evening after she’d finished work. Deb sent me an email saying “Tomorrow would be great, unless you get a better offer from someone. Ie someone you’ve not seen for ages.” The exact same words I’d used about Ang only the other day. Now I’d put this down to a little jibe, to be taken in my stride, had it not been for the fact that at the exact same time the email arrived I also received a text message from Ang asking if I was doing anything the following evening.
Now this brings me to my point. In a Hollywood film this would be the make or break scene for a love interest to choose. I already knew. There was no choice to make. I’d meet up with Deb. I’d have met up with Deb if it had meant swimming through lava for God’s sake. But believing in fate I have to ask the question. Where did the synchronicity come from to make these messages appear at the same time?
Is there, do you think, a force leading us to a predetermined destiny? Do we just bandy about life with no purpose, and stuff just happens? Or, more sinister, are there two opposing forces? One trying to force an opening, however small, between couples (I assume this is the evil one) and one trying to bring them together. If so do these forces also play a part in other aspect of our life? Do we, at every crossroads in our life, have a black and white decision? It’s the question that’s been plaguing Man since time memorable and I’m in no position to answer it here. Just re-posing the question!
What are the odds? Do I believe in fate? Is it all a set up? At the moment I’ve been living out a joke with Deb about one of our lives being the subject of a TV show, like the Truman show. It’s not real…… Obviously life is real, but it does throw up, from time to time little coincidences that make you think otherwise.
My particular example happened not 4 hours ago. But first I’ve to set the scene. My name’s Ian and I’ve been seeing my girlfriend, Deb, for just over a year. The state and circumstances of our relationship aren’t the subject of this piece other than the adverse effect an old university friend of mine has on them. Her name (and it had to be a her eh?) is Ang. At one point during my lonely singleship I was infatuated with her. I now realise it was only because she was the only woman who actually paid me any attention, although it was never of the sexual nature. Hmm that makes this sound more like an American chatshow revelation than I’d intended. But anyhow this has been the subject of a little tension between Deb and I. I’ll just state here for the record that I’m completely and utterly In Love with Deb. More than a former cynic like myself even likes to admit. But anyway on with the tale.
It’s a simple list of things that happened tonight really, but in my mind it springs upon us a question of are we really the masters of our own destiny. I’ll set the scene.
Deb works shifts as do I. This has lead to, in our modern world, our own way of communicating through email at all hours. We’ve both email addresses at home and at work, which means we can have conversations anytime really. Even though we might not be able to see each other or have the opportunity to make a phone call. Hey all it takes is a three-word email and everybody’s happy! It’s got to the point of being so familiar, this electronic messaging, that we use it even when we could talk on the phone! I hope this shows how we work. It may seem odd to you but, hey, it works for us.
Now I live pretty close by to Ang, the old university friend, and occasionally used to go out for a drink with her. But to be honest with you I pretty much stopped meeting her when it became clear to me that Deb wasn’t happy with this situation. Subsequently I’ve exchanged Text messages with Ang but not actually seen her. However my Mum (who knows Ang) doesn’t know this.
This weekend Deb and I went to the wedding of an old friend of mine in my old hometown. When we were at my parent’s house my Mum asked if I’d seen Ang lately. This, unfortunately, set off Deb’s jealous side. I answered, truthfully, that I hadn’t seen Ang for ages. And so the wedding went off with us both in a state of semi argument. No words were exchanged but we both know why there was an air of tension. It was purely because the never mentioned subject of Ang was broached. Perhaps if we were on Jerry Springer we’d be told that the subject should be opened up to hours of scrutinizing by us as a couple, but neither of us would be comfortable with that. Luckily though by the following evening everything was back to normal.
This evening Deb and I were making plans via email to meet up tomorrow evening after she’d finished work. Deb sent me an email saying “Tomorrow would be great, unless you get a better offer from someone. Ie someone you’ve not seen for ages.” The exact same words I’d used about Ang only the other day. Now I’d put this down to a little jibe, to be taken in my stride, had it not been for the fact that at the exact same time the email arrived I also received a text message from Ang asking if I was doing anything the following evening.
Now this brings me to my point. In a Hollywood film this would be the make or break scene for a love interest to choose. I already knew. There was no choice to make. I’d meet up with Deb. I’d have met up with Deb if it had meant swimming through lava for God’s sake. But believing in fate I have to ask the question. Where did the synchronicity come from to make these messages appear at the same time?
Is there, do you think, a force leading us to a predetermined destiny? Do we just bandy about life with no purpose, and stuff just happens? Or, more sinister, are there two opposing forces? One trying to force an opening, however small, between couples (I assume this is the evil one) and one trying to bring them together. If so do these forces also play a part in other aspect of our life? Do we, at every crossroads in our life, have a black and white decision? It’s the question that’s been plaguing Man since time memorable and I’m in no position to answer it here. Just re-posing the question!