That Forgotten Man!

[NOV]

At 4 Years
My daddy is great.

At 6 Years
My daddy knows everybody.

At 10 Years
My daddy is good but is short tempered

At 12 Years
My daddy was very nice to me when I was young.

At 14 Years
My daddy is getting fastidious.

At 16 Years
My daddy is not in line with the current times.

At 18 Years
My daddy is becoming increasingly cranky.

At 20 Years
Oh! Its becoming difficult to tolerate daddy. Wonder how Mother puts up with him.

At 25 Years
Daddy is objecting to everything.

At 30 Years
It's becoming difficult to manage my son. I was so scared of my father when I was young.

At 40 Years
Daddy brought me up with so much discipline. Even I should do the same.

At 45 Years
I am baffled as to how my daddy brought us up.

At 50 Years
My daddy faced so many hardships to bring us up. I am unable to manage a single son.

At 55 Years
My daddy was so far sighted and planned so many things for us. He is one of his kind and unique.

At 60 Years
My daddy is great.

Thus, it took 56 years to complete the cycle and come back to the 1st stage.

Realize the true value of your parents before its too late

[NOV]

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[sathya_1979]

I do not believe in these days. If you truely love ur Father, Mother, Spouse etc, you should truely respect them throughout your life and make them proud and happy. I presume the days are the invention of west where family relations after certain age gets to see only once in a while, like a get-to-gather. Sorry to see such a trend spreading fast in India.
Make no misatke - Am an not deriding such days. But, only their relevance in India.

[NOV]

Thanks for you views, although I don't see any point in your post.
OK, let's move on.

[NOV]

I have very vague memories of my father. He died when I was not even 11, and in those days a 10 year old kid was really a kid. Not the super smart pre-teen of these days.

Being the youngest of 7, I rarely received any attention from my father - either in a positive or negative way. I do remember getting a slap for refunding money on a spoilt coconut (we had a sundry shop then.) My father's theory was the woman could have bought the coconut anywhere and then claimed to have bought it at our shop. :)

Thats why the film Emttan Magan has a lot of significance in my life.

During his last few months, I remember he, my elder brother and I having a race. He tripped and fell and blood was oozing out of his chest. Bad memories.

But whatever said and done, he was the most responsible man I ever knew. His family was everything to him and his sacrifices are just untold.

He came from Tanjore to Penang when he was just 16, with no money in his pockets. He already had a keen business sense and soon was selling Indian sweets (laddu, jelebi, etc).

From that he progressed to getting into the sundry goods business. He was 35 when he met my mother who was 20 and fell in love. He was a staunch Vaishnavite while my mother was a staunch Catholic. He was totally uneducated, while my mother was a convent school student. He had nobody to his name, while my mother's father was a lawyer (this was during British occupation times.)
But as they say, love was blind, and my father proposed. My mother's family was agreeable only if my father would convert, to which my father agreed readily.

After the simple wedding, my mother had the first taste. It was thier wedding night and my father asked my mother to read out the marriage certificate. Innocently my mother read out everything including my father's name. And she got a shock of her life when she received a slap for mentioning her husband's name. My mother was born in Kuala Lumpur and raised entirely as a sheltered child. She used to go to church with escort!

Needless to say, my father did not convert. Not only that, he converted my mother and she took on a Hindu name. The family came soon after that, and my mother learned to become the perfect wife.

In a peculiar way, my father also sheltered my mother from the harsh realities of life. When he passed on, all of us were left helpless - we did not know what to do! For father had done EVERYTHING for us. He was the one who would buy clothes for us, register us in school, take us to clinic, etc. In fact he decided everything for us - including what film to watch (which was one a year.)

The only off day he took was once a year during Deepavali. For the rest of the year, he slogged. He would get up before 5.00 am every single day to go to the market for purchases. Every night, he would be doing accounts and would only sleep after all of us had retired. But somehow he brought 17 lives to this world. :D But only seven of us survived.

He took no holidays, he didn't have any friends. His family was his world. Every saturday, he would cook for us. My 3 brothers and I picked up cooking from him. During Deepavali, he would be the one making all the foodstuff.

We lived a frugal life - buying the first TV only after his passing. We wore hand-me-downs, and only received new clothes once a year during Deepavali. And all these clothes were picked by him.
But we were never with needs. We had a roof over our heads, food on the table and clothes to cover our modesty. All of us received pocket money and also money during Tamil new year.

Although uneducated, he picked up English and Malay. He also made sure that all of us received good education - and all in English schools. He personally taught all of us Tamil.

Everything to do with our language, culture and religion was taught to us by our father. He observed every festival without fail, breaking coconuts in front of the chariot during Thaipoosam to ensuring all the girls of the house wake up early and do the customs during the month of maargazhi.

He was strict and all of us were afraid of him. We didn't know of his love for us.... until his death at the age of 63.

When he died he had bought over two shop houses, a succesfull business, with cash in the bank and jewellery in the safe box.

Appaa, your love for your children is boundless and I am sure you are watching all of us from above. Even if I am half the man you were, I would have fulfilled my dharma in the world.

[sathya_1979]

Thanks for you views, although I don't see any point in your post.
OK, let's move on.
Yeah, same here! Thanks for sharing your views :D

[sathya_1979]

Thanks NOV, really touching. Dad :notworthy:

[Appu s]

Wow, really interesting and touching story of your dad :D
I am mixed of too many emotions now :D :ty: for sharing ...

[NOV]

Thanks Sathya and Appu. Yes, I am having mixed emotions too.
Please share your stories too.

[sathya_1979]

NOV, am extremely sorry if I had offended you. You have every right to correct me if I am wrong.
My Dad - Well what can I say about him, just :notworthy: He still does not let me undergo (Even after my marrriage and having a Kid) any hardships and had done unimaginable sacrifices. Solradhukku indha space paththaadhu!

[Appu s]

Your father a uneducated man traveled to Malaysia in 1920 s,and started a business there,taking a sole responsible for the business and 8 members family in the foreign land is really an achievement. No wonder he is your role model :D


He was 35 when he met my mother who was 20 and fell in love. He was a staunch Vaishnavite while my mother was a staunch Catholic
:D


It was thier wedding night and my father asked my mother to read out the marriage certificate. Innocently my mother read out everything including my father's name. And she got a shock of her life when she received a slap for mentioning her husband's name
:shock: :lol: :oops:


My 3 brothers and I picked up cooking from him. During Deepavali, he would be the one making all the foodstuff.
:D Pandigainna neenga murukku sutha kilampum pothey ninachen ;)


Although uneducated, he picked up English and Malay. He also made sure that all of us received good education - and all in English schools. He personally taught all of us Tamil..
:bow: :thumbsup:

Nov, i guess you are last child in your family right ? ;)

[NOV]

Yes Appu.
Being the youngest of 7, I rarely received any attention from my father

sathya, thanks once again. :)

[pavalamani pragasam]

NOV, a great tribute to your father from you!

[NOV]

:ty: PP madam. there are millions of untold stories like this.

[pavalamani pragasam]

Eagerly waitng! :slurp:

[raagadevan]

vElan:

Thank you for sharing the story and your feelings towards your father, in such a touching and moving style.

I am sure your father was/is very proud of you; as you are of him.

My tributes to all the fathers of yesterday, today and tomorrow!

[Shakthiprabha]

nov,

:) Its work both ways. You are proud to be his son and he would be proud to be ur dad, a son who remembers his dad with so much affection after decades.


Appaa, your love for your children is boundless and I am sure you are watching all of us from above.

He would be! cheers.

[Shakthiprabha]

I suppose nov and his story and his thread make me want to share about my dad!
_________

Nothing much to say...except he is like every other dad around.

His office chores would start as early as 7 am. So he would leave home by 5.45. IF i dont wake up by 6 am, I would get a bit of his anger which was otherwise never ever known to me.

He was most kind to anyone who is around, very soft natured, never would let any harsh word around and EXTREMELY INNOCENT to this date. I suppose I share lil of those blissful innocence.

I was rarely scolded or slapped by him, except on one rare occasion, when I misbehaved and ridiculed a man because he was poor. He gave a tight slap...and moulded me from then on, into a very humble person.


All my pranks would be received with stern face by mom, whilst appa would always cajole me, pet me and...yeah I was my dad's pet (only daughter!)

Appa would always believe in " forgive and forget" . He had lil friends and his mantra was SLOG...EARN and provide all facilities for the family. Very self made man, who with his sheer intelligence and hardwork came up in life . Ive always been brought up as a comfortable child, and even when amma would cringe about getting few dresses, appa would take me around to buy few more salwars.

Appa was very tolerant and he taught me tolerence. He would hardly argue and extremely matured, he taught me the same. He would always say "words spent on argument is waste of time and energy"

He still works in a big company as an engineer and is much sought after for his ability and diligence to this date. Appa knows only 2 things. He understands only 2 things.

His office
His love for daughter/wife and its always daughter preceeding wife ( so he says :D )

Appa can NEVER UNDERSTAND me like my mom does :) . Appa is orthodox in his own way like... a woman (girl) should not answer back husband or should give up small lil dreams and ideas.

He wanted me to quit all dreams I had about media world ( I got few silly offers too) and believed in me being a good wife having my family as primary interest. Amma and appa share the same view so they discouraged me from taking up serious 'career or passion 'which I always was interested....my husband made their perfect son in law who also shares this view. However I had all my choice to select what I could study and stood by me when I continued on with degrees until 3 years back and I do have quite some diplomas and degrees behind me. Thanks to dad and hus.

I did not want to get married early and my dad pinned me right there with his emotional outburst and finally I yielded...Dad's daughter I am!!! so give up.... thats my motto too :lol2:

I gave up for my dad...lot of my dreams.
He gave me precious gift of all what I am today, my nature, my tolerance, my character ..everything is Dad's...

and everythign he does is for me. He always sings this line...

"everything I do, I do it for you"

I love him.

[Thirumaran]

NOV and Shakthi :notworthy:

I had in times shared abt my dad in brief while discussing abt Dad based movies.

Would share how my life is so much depends and based on him in a day or Two.

Thanks nov for starting One :)

[crazy]

NOV and SP akka :bow:

[raagadevan]

Well narrated, Shakthi :) Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

[Shakthiprabha]

rd, tm, crazy :) I am equally happy sharing my thoughts here.
Tm, do share about ur dad.

[NM]

Nov - thanks for sharing with us - i am really touched and for a son to remember his father after all these years even tho he has known him for only 10 years of his life, your Dad must have been an amazing man!
I am sure his belssings are always with you.

Shakti - daughters have a way with fathers, don't they :wink: :P
my father's weakness is me and my husband's weakness is Ananthiy :lol:

[Punnaimaran]

Dear Nov,
Forgotten man ??? Everyone seems to remember him and his sacrifices clearly, including you who had known him only for a brief period in your life. Good that you have made many people (yours truly one among them) realise/remember the sacrifices of their fathers.

Looking back, I too am proud of my father.

[Sarna]

Tears are flowing in my eyes after reading about sp akka's father :( SHE IS REALLY BLESSED :bow: :bow:
but this thread is not for me :|

[Ramona]

Tears are flowing in my eyes ......but this thread is not for me :|

Why not Sarna? When I saw Nov's post and the thread, I thought it may have brought pain for some people since the experience is so different for each person. You seems to be one of them. :(

You can still share. The thread is not only for "good fathers". You can still have good wishes for a bad father. :)

Prahalad was a good son, yet look at what he went through with his father.

It's like mother's day. We assume all mothers are good, but there are cases to the contrary. I know people who have a hard time passing the day. These are not easy things to talk about with others because of the fear that they may not understand and it may fall back at you - manipulated and used or misused against you which could make it all worse.

[Ramona]

[tscii:736aeb0ca0]I know one hard working, good looking man with six beautiful daughters and one son, the youngest child. At about middle age, he wanted to fool around with other women, starting with his neighbor’s wife. He got the eldest daughter into an arrange marriage blindly, did not see if it was a good match etc., but was anxious to get her out of the house.

His extra-marital affairs did not stay with this one woman, but several others. His younger daughters were feeling so shamed. They were teased by young men who knew what the father was doing. This went on for many years. The marriage chances of the daughters became quite slim since shame was brought down upon them. One of them vouched that when he dies, she would not even attend his funeral. He died a pre-mature death after taking ill from grievance. One of the women, a very young one he invested in financially took off with a younger man and they built a house close by his.

Once he died and the daughters realize they would never see him again, all his dirty deeds and how much he upsetted their lives were forgotten.
[/tscii:736aeb0ca0]

[Appu s]

Shakthi akka,thanks for sharing :bow:

[ajaybaskar]

NOV Anna,

Just came across ur post on ur dad... Really touching.. He sure does watch you from heaven...

[NOV]

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CPXdriIGY20/Te0HmfnnbhI/AAAAAAAADI4/HCrY5niK6v8/s1600/I_Love_You_Dad_Happy_Fathers_Day.jpg

[pavalamani pragasam]

May all fathers feel proud and happy on Father's Day and the whole year too!

[PARAMASHIVAN]

:shock: I just saw this thread now !

Nov anneh :clap:

Since you have "openly" talked about your "personal" aspects of your life? I hope I can ask you this question?

You said, your father was a staunch vaishnavite and your mother was a staunch Catholic. Now falling in love amongst different Religions alias beliefs alias Ideologists seems to be fine, but I have seen families who married from various sects having "great" problems about which religion their siblings belong to, I have seen many families like this, the father says you must be a Hindu, the mother says you must be Christian.

did you not have such issues while growing up ??

[NOV]

did you not have such issues while growing up ??The answer to this is in my original post...

Needless to say, my father did not convert. Not only that, he converted my mother and she took on a Hindu name. The family came soon after that, and my mother learned to become the perfect wife.
yeah, no issues, no confusions. firm, no turning back Hindus we were brought up as...

[PARAMASHIVAN]

Oh thanks Non anneh :)

[NOV]

http://media.therakyatpost.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/muthu.L-940x470.jpg


KUALA LUMPUR, June 21, 2015:
What was supposed to be a joyful Father’s Day celebration has turned into tragedy for the Muthu family in Taman Sri Serdang in Seri Kembangan here.
The five children, two sons and three daughters, together with seven grandchildren had booked a hotel in Putrajaya to have hi-tea and a wonderful Father’s Day today.

But fate had something different to offer them. Instead of food, good cheer and celebrations, there were tears aplenty as the whole family gathered to bid farewell to building contractor L. Muthu, 63, and his wife, S. Duggamah, 58.

The couple, together with another motorist, were killed and five others injured in a road crash involving five vehicles on the Bukit Putus bridge at Km15 Jalan Seremban-Kuala Pilah near Seremban on Friday night about 10pm.

At that time, Muthu was driving his Mercedes Benz and was returning home to Taman Sri Serdang after attending a relative’s wedding and visiting his brother in Bahau.

His eldest daughter, Laksmi Muthu, 41, an international school teacher, said she and her siblings had been looking forward to the Father’s Day celebration.

“To lose one parent is terrible, but to lose both on the same day … This should never happen to any daughter. The loss is too much for us to bear.

“My father was the pillar of the family. Although we are all grown up, we used to seek out his advice for everything. Now he is gone and he has left us without guidance.

“He had a lot of worldly advice and wisdom to impart to us. Many of his friends and colleagues would also seek his guidance and our house always had visitors.

“My mother, whom my father fondly called Usha, would always cook for all the visitors and make them feel at home.

“The grandkids adored them as they were so loving.”

Laksmi said many of her father’s former workers had branched out on their own.

“My father would never get angry with them for leaving his service. Instead, he would encourage them and even offer financial assistance and business contacts for them to be successful.

“He was a motivational speaker and would advise us not to waste our money on unnecessary luxuries. He told us all must study hard to come up in life.”

Laksmi said her father was 21 and mother only 16 when they got married and arrived in the city from Bahau looking for a job with only $20 and a mat.
He got a job as an office boy at the then Universiti Pertanian Malaysia and used to do odd jobs painting and repairing houses for lecturers.
Later, he resigned his job to go full-time into construction.

Laksmi said her father used to donate a lot to temples and Tamil schools. He had a particular interest in writing in Tamil and had written plenty of short stories, some of which won him prizes at the national level. He also wrote a Tamil novel.
She said her father celebrated his last birthday on May 13, giving food to an orphanage in Kajang and inviting all his old school friends for a special treat at a Chinese restaurant.

“My parents were inseparable and would go out together for functions. Now they are joined together in the hereafter as they were in life.”

The funeral service for the couple will be held at their home at 1856, Jalan 18/42, Taman Seri Serdang, Seri Kembagan from 11am to 2pm today, before proceeding for cremation at the Putrajaya crematorium.

http://www.therakyatpost.com/news/2015/06/21/a-miserable-fathers-day-for-muthu-family/