Ugly face of Indian feminism

[app_engine]

I was shocked to read this news report that Gov is considering major changes to the law that punishes the husband (& his family) if the wife complains about harassment.

http://www.dinamalar.com/fpnnewsdetail.asp?news_id=5660

It seems > 50% of the complaints are simply to harass the husband / in-laws and not for the original purpose which was to protect women from violence (due to dowry and other reasons).


வரதட்சணை கொடுமை புகார் அளித்தால், இந்த சட்டத்தின் கீழ் கணவனுக்கு அதிகபட்சம் மூன்றாண்டு சிறை தண்டனை தர முடியும். கடந்த 2007ல், ஒரு லட்சத்து 60 ஆயிரம் வழக்குகள் பதிவாயின. அதில், 76 ஆயிரம் வழக்குகளில் தான் குற்றவாளியாக தீர்ப்பளிக்கப்பட்டது. 79 சதவீதம் பேர் விடுவிக்கப்பட்டுள்ளனர் என்று தேசிய குற்ற ஆவண காப்பக சர்வேயில் தெரியவந்துள்ளது. "இந்த சட்டப்பிரிவுகளில் சில திருத்தங்களை கொண்டு வர அரசு திட்டமிட்டது. ஆனால், பெண்கள் அமைப்புகள் பெரும் போர்க்கொடி தூக்கியதால், இந்த முடிவில் பின்வாங்கி விட்டது. எனினும், கோர்ட்களின் கருத்துக்களுக்கு பின் இந்த நடவடிக்கைகளை எடுத்துள்ளது' என்று மத்திய உள்துறை அமைச்சக அதிகாரி ஒருவர் தெரிவித்தார்.


It appears strong willed women (or their parents) supported by feminist organizations (or even by illicit partners / former lovers etc) sue their husbands / in-laws :-( And the law is almost like p-o-t-a, arrest without question / no-bail etc. One would think the wrong use will be minimal, considering the general value Indian society places on family arrangement. This news report shows a totally opposite picture.

Now, it has reached a point when gov is considering changes to the law :-( Actually I was among those who were delighted when the law first came into picture, thinking that suppressed women can have some speedy relief now. As usual, like in the case of any man-made law, there are more troubles than benefits!

[pavalamani pragasam]

Looks like the time has come for suppression of men!!! Tables turned against the arrogant, adamant, chauvnistic 'stronger' sex! Both situations unfair!!! Can't we find a golden mean? :roll:

[Punnaimaran]

The sad thing is that most of the women who are really being abused by the husband/in-laws do not register complaints. They would either suffer in private (particularly if they have children) or go to their parents(if well to do). In most cases, even if the parents ask the daughter to register a complaint, she is not willing to do so. Also in most of the joint families, the problem is between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law. The husband is the sufferer ultimately.
A stricter or a lenient law will not change the situation, unless the husband/in-laws feel that the girl is a member of their family and the daughter-in-law feels that she is a member of the family.

[pavalamani pragasam]

Yes, a change in the mindsets of both men and women, both young and old is necessary for any real improvement in the situation.

[suba]

:)

i am surprised on app's shock....

we have all the laws for protection but the MISUSE of the laws is the one which should be clutched on.

it is not only happening in matrimony issue or dowry issue or whatever.

policemen play the vital role in this.

if a girl or her family go to the police station seeking for a protection, immediately policemen suggest/advise/force them to go for a dowry harassment case which immediately gives them the power to arrest a handful number of people.

then police themselves would do some katta panchayats and fill in their pockets.

fake are the cases filed in most of the police station to achieve their official target and to fill in their pockets.

nothing new in 498A :huh:

:)

[app_engine]

suba,

Misuse of law in itself is not shocking to me (though theoritically it should be) :-( We hear about it in general all the time and I myself have witnessed police abuse on a number of cases in India.

It's in the context of family - which is kind of a cultural shock, more than law abuse shock, to me. Shows India is fast becoming like west.

Actually, I've heard / read tons of such stories here in the west. There's even an org called "ADAM" which advertises often here in Michigan on radio, and they are supposed to give legal help to husbands in "minimizing the adverse divorce impacts". Or for that matter, the increase in "living-together" rather than getting legally married, to avoid the huge financial / legal burdens associated with divorce etc.

However, as all the time I come across couples here who go like "this-is-my-3rd-wife-and-I'm-her-3rd-husband" kind, I won't be surprised or shocked in any such sueing with bad intentions HERE.

OTOH, India is (or was?) supposed to be a place where family institution is strong, people won't drag family members wrongly into police station / court etc...so I thought.

That's why the surprise :-)

[pavalamani pragasam]

Same is my concern too! :(

[Badri]

In the end, it is values that hold the society together, not law! This is a clear proof of that!

As app_engine says, India was supposed to be the place where the institution of the family was strong, bound by ties of love and mutual respect. If those values are degraded, then law will become an ugly demon, instead of the policeman that it should be!

[pavalamani pragasam]

An old MGR song comes to my memory- thirudanaa paarththu thirunthaavittaa thiruttai ozikka mudiyaathu.
Laws are rather useless, ineffective- people's way of thinking/acting must change voluntarily.

[suba]

:)

App,

You were right in your brackets. :)

OTOH, India is (or was?) supposed to be a place where family institution is strong, people won't drag family members wrongly into police station / court etc...so I thought.

India was supposed to be....

anyway... you say that in your place girls themselves sue their husbands by filing a fake case....

but here it is not the girl or her family intend to do it. they would just approach police for their protection and it is the police who lead them to sue their husbands. thats what i meant here.

saatharana oru sappai matterai namma kaavalargal ooooothi, pirachanaiye illaatha oru vishayathai perisaaki, kadaisiyil divorcela mudiyum.

if you ask those couple what was the core reason to divorce i really doubt if they could give a valid reason.

most of the time the reasons would be :

veetuku late-a varraar, pullaigalai kavanikka maatengaraar, veliyila kootitu poga maatengaraar, thani kudithanam vaika maatengaraar, veetoda maapillaiya vara maatengaraar, amma veetuku anupi vaika maatengaraar.... etc.....

ithukku 498A-va? kodumai.....

i wonder why girls never go against their husband for the following reasons:

lanjam vaagaraar, oorai aemaatharaar, businessla fraud pannaraar, black money vachu irukkaar etc....

naatula ella aambalaingalum rommmmmmbbbaaa nallavanga pola irukku..... :lol:

:)

[Bala (Karthik)]

OTOH, India is (or was?) supposed to be a place where family institution is strong, people won't drag family members wrongly into police station / court etc...so I thought.

True, but often the family is the problem here. Family pressure, family honor, family garvam etc..

Someone my wife knows (kittathatta feminist) married a guy and went to the U.S (arranged marriage after the usual reference checks etc). On a recent visit to India after a year she looked completely 'down' and lost. Apparently, the guy has gender identity issues and does cross dressing, staring at the wall for hours etc..
Obviously the marriage was not consummated. She gave him a year and even offered to take him to counseling etc but in vain. She has filed for divorce. The appalling thing is that the dude says he went ahead with the marriage because he didn't want to let his parents down (the 'family' thing)!! Only when threatened with a suit did they relent and agree for divorce and compensation.
This family thing, the mother-in-law vs daughter-in-law is etched so deep in our society that it is here to stay for a while.

[suba]

:)




If those values are degraded, then law will become an ugly demon, instead of the policeman that it should be!

wow badri,

that was a great quote i come across recently :thumbsup:

:)

[blahblah]

Looks like the time has come for suppression of men!!! Tables turned against the arrogant, adamant, chauvnistic 'stronger' sex! Both situations unfair!!! Can't we find a golden mean? :roll:

0000ps!This doesn't look like the PP I know! Were you talking about the attitude of a miniscule minority among the fair sex?

There surely has to be a 'golden mean', provided we know where it lies. After all, men are from Mars and women are from Venus :D .

As somebodyelse suggested earlier, rules for protection of women are not at all being used by the real victims, these are being misused by pathetic females who either have a score to settle or say, looking for some ' Green Gandhis' :lol:


Arrogant: Women-90% Men-70%
Adamant: Women-99.99% Men,fools-0%
Chauvnistic: Women-2%- Men -98%
Strong: Women-80% Men-79.99%


Just depends on where the negative marks lie. :twisted:

[pavalamani pragasam]

Glad to hear from you, blahblah! Yes, fortunately it is a minuscule minority of the fair sex that is dangerously posing a serious problem to the health of society. But with the fare catered in both small and big screens how long is it going to be a minuscule minority? :shaking:

[Lambretta]

As somebodyelse suggested earlier, rules for protection of women are not at all being used by the real victims, these are being misused by pathetic females who either have a score to settle or say, looking for some ' Green Gandhis' :lol:
Good point, blah*2! :)

OT: "Green Gandhi"- first time I'm coming across this name...sounds real funny!! :lol: :lol2:

[Surya]

Can't we find a golden mean? :roll:

That's something the Human Race has been struggling with since the start of it's Existence. :) Not just in sex chauvinism, but in everything.


Arrogant: Women-90% Men-70%
Adamant: Women-99.99% Men,fools-0%
Chauvnistic: Women-2%- Men -98%
Strong: Women-80% Men-79.99%

:lol: NICE!!!