Indigo

[Querida]

As old friends, we meet again...

Much has passed between our speechless glances.
Much that sums up how life has been to us.
Much that will not pass our lips in explanation.
Much more that we will feign to keep silent.

For as our strides come to match
and as our memories unravel
in nostalgic streams before us,
the lock of time and due formality
will fade hazily from thought.

And that once so strongly
felt friendship and trust
will beam once more:
now less bright and eager
now less trustful and open.

Nevertheless upon this
floating down childhood
and its glossed and glowing naivete,
the familiar gestures,
the mundanity of each other's laughter,
the comforting close gaze kept for one another,
stand worn well
before the test of time.

[pavalamani pragasam]

Exactly! I've experienced it!

[Querida]

the grass on the other side
doesn't just look greener...

it looks lush and nourishing...
full of dew and promise...
complete and whole...
safe and reassuring...
calm and content...


peering over to the
other side
it's really not that bad...
not lush but not barren.
not complete but insecure.
not content but hopeful.


Ask, so that I can say:

that we
stand on the
same side of the fence
in different places...

though I hardly can believe it myself.

[pavalamani pragasam]

Sagacious!

[Benny Lava]

Ask, so that I can say:

that we
stand on the
same side of the fence
in different places...


Nachhhuu!!!!

[Querida]

drips meet drops
ready for their descent
they wink and cascade
pooling in bubbly puddles below.

eddies of soil edged trails
swirl as if stirred
blooming up like
misty miso soup.

fogged up windows
finger-graffitied
offer thumbprint lanes
of the outside grey.

[pavalamani pragasam]

Descriptive and poetic rainy scene!

[Querida]

The Sun spreads around
Like a warm, fragrant batter.
Buttering up the streets
With its yellow rays of honey.
It softly alights upon
Every verdant blade of grass,
Every newborn bud,
Every sprightly sprout,
Every bloom of blossoming colour.
The wind replies jauntily
Tousling, tussling, teasing...
The sky beams brightly,
The clouds clasp in meeting,
fresh and jubilant.


All dawning their best
to welcome
The Spring Maiden’s Golden Arrival

[pavalamani pragasam]

Pure joy!!!

[Querida]

i chanced upon
the sleeping heads
all tucked up
and never to awake
whipped to the ground
pale blushing pink
turned smudgy-rot brown
their heady fragrance silent
seeped uselessly into the unyielding ground
their laurels un-spread
their petals un-shed
these are the buds
of the windswept
tree-wept magnolia.

[Querida]

am i to be grateful
that i have found you (again)
knowing somehow that (we)
shared a journey together (once)
in a time that is beyond this life
but in the here and (now)
we can only (hope) to
wonder (how?)

whatever ties still bind
are weaker (still...)
yet strong enough
to prove
you're there
as you were (here with me)
some (life) before.

[pavalamani pragasam]

Strained!?

[pavalamani pragasam]

i chanced upon
the sleeping heads
all tucked up
and never to awake
whipped to the ground
pale blushing pink
turned smudgy-rot brown
their heady fragrance silent
seeped uselessly into the unyielding ground
their laurels un-spread
their petals un-shed
these are the buds
of the windswept
tree-wept magnolia.
Beautiful pathos!

[Querida]

Strained!?

:D :oops: I was trying to imply the feeling of knowing someone (like you've known them all your life/perhaps even in a past life...) and meeting them again (in this life) and knowing that you share a connection with them.

[Querida]

you said you would return when your luck was changed...

and so i thought when does luck ever remain?
when did life ever wait to change its plot?
when did fate give anyone another thought?
when did one's allotted lot
ever deem what dreams were sought?
what demons were fought?
what cares were fraught?
what life lessons were taught?
what chances were caught?
what denials were bought?
what destinies were wrought?
what soul has ever waited for naught...?

here i await the mystery.

[Querida]

Against the dark night sky
blanketed by
a haze of seamless clouds...

There,
taut and open
ready to catch
a moon ray
or perhaps
a shooting star...

Their cupped petals
lush and lucent
powdery soft
roseate
dainty and distinct
against the chill air...

They gaze as I do
between the budding branches
into the moon's
shyly hidden face.

[Querida]

i can hardly see the moon
knobby branches
stretch their limbs
posturing, posing
finally adorned
after left bare and
wracked by the bitter winds

sprigs and sprays
of tiny blooms
drop silently
as tendrils and leaves
unfurl and breathe

the creeper wonders
where shall it go?
where all will it seek to grow?

too soon the petals fall
embellishing the sidewalk crevices
clustering themselves amongst the grass
collecting upon the dull sheened window-shields
cinching themselves between the driveway cracks

Detergent fragrance fills the still night air...

[pavalamani pragasam]

you said you would return when your luck was changed...

and so i thought when does luck ever remain?
when did life ever wait to change its plot?
when did fate give anyone another thought?
when did one's allotted lot
ever deem what dreams were sought?
what demons were fought?
what cares were fraught?
what life lessons were taught?
what chances were caught?
what denials were bought?
what destinies were wrought?
what soul has ever waited for naught...?

here i await the mystery.
Rhyming with sense!

[pavalamani pragasam]

Against the dark night sky
blanketed by
a haze of seamless clouds...

There,
taut and open
ready to catch
a moon ray
or perhaps
a shooting star...

Their cupped petals
lush and lucent
powdery soft
roseate
dainty and distinct
against the chill air...

They gaze as I do
between the budding branches
into the moon's
shyly hidden face.
Peeping Toms? Joking!

[pavalamani pragasam]

i can hardly see the moon
knobby branches
stretch their limbs
posturing, posing
finally adorned
after left bare and
wracked by the bitter winds

sprigs and sprays
of tiny blooms
drop silently
as tendrils and leaves
unfurl and breathe

the creeper wonders
where shall it go?
where all will it seek to grow?

too soon the petals fall
embellishing the sidewalk crevices
clustering themselves amongst the grass
collecting upon the dull sheened window-shields
cinching themselves between the driveway cracks

Detergent fragrance fills the still night air...
Keen observations!

[Querida]

to be found
if only to be known

to be lost
if only to be loved

to be left
if only to be remembered

to be forgot
if only to be broken

to be gone
if only to be sought

to be wanted
if only to be needed

to be
if only to be

[Querida]

she has lost
what she wants most

what she felt
she always was to have

she bides her time
and asks of fate

why she wants
what she does not know

why she feels
what she does not know

for what
she's never near knowing
but awaits
to know

[Querida]

wishes come with deadlines
realize their ephemeral entry
into your constructed reality

wishes inspire and expire
embrace these experiences
let them en-golden your
ordered existence

wishes are mentors
each heavy with foreshadowing
each laden with wisdom
each a catalyst
eager to alter
your perceived essence
of this world

wishes cannot be captured
realize they
are but restless nomads
sweeping
away their footsteps
as they leave...

[pavalamani pragasam]

Very true!

[Querida]

there's always more to achieve
and yet the question remains
can you?

there's always more that is expected
and still the question asks
should you?

there's always more that is wanted
and the question repeats
would you?

there's always more to do
and the question reminds
have you?

there's always more to be known
and the question persists
will you?

there's always more to be found
and the question inquires
could you?

[pavalamani pragasam]

But for this 'more' factor in our search life will will become dull and purposeless!!!

[Querida]

But for this 'more' factor in our search life will become dull and purposeless!!!

Truer words have not been spoken :D

[Querida]

there i am
plain to see
all my mysteries
laid bare

clothed with words
and wrapped within
their layers

synaptic sparks
and vesseled waves
all their messengers
lost in translation

secrets shushed
and kept within
all their ties
unbound and
found in realization

[pavalamani pragasam]

Tryst with one's own self!!!

[Querida]

now that i know
that what i want
comes only in snatches
stolen moments
i rewind and play
i rewind and play
to keep them from
fading away

now that i know
that i have always got
what i wished for
bitterly learned
and sweetly lived
i forward and pause
i forward and pause
to keep them from
being rewished

now that i know
that i always dream
of what i will not have
ideal streams
of deep pictured slumber
that i edit and record
that i re-edit and re-record
to know what is safe
and what is reality.

[pavalamani pragasam]

Recollections technically told! Electronic age!

[Querida]

in snatches
in catches
in patches
serendipitously
a lock unlatches
appearing
in a mist of clarity

a lull in now
a recognition
of beings
afore unseen
of words mutely mouthed
before they are muttered

a flashback
to a dawn dream
scoffed away

that unshakeable
feeling of
being in two places
at once

once before
and
once again

the unmistakable
dawning of a deja-vu

[Querida]

with annoyed incredulity
i watched
miserable fear
augment her face

the scenes of my life
lay scattered elsewhere,
to strewn about to bother
showing up

with fear
i awaited the pain
already it had taken a hold of me
frozen me to the spot
convincing me it was inevitable

i braced myself
for the electric nauseating waves of metallic impact
of harpooned shards
and gritty glass
of that sickly white gleam
of bone,
the meaty flesh
maddening red
raw and shrinking from
the burning air

i awaited to feel
the horrors it would
wreck upon my cringing body
the scars it would
carve into my very being
the pain that i would
live with day to day
the pain that i would
feel in parts no longer there
the pain that i would
know no return from....

[pavalamani pragasam]

:frightened:Horrible!

[Querida]

:frightened:Horrible!

Yes PP Maam, it was a shocking experience... :(
so close and thank God she swerved away and I inched to the left at the last moment...

[pavalamani pragasam]

:sigh2:
May luck be yours always!

[Querida]

around every corner
and every turn turned
every stair quickly ascended
every escalator leisurely descended

in every crowd scanned
and every seated passenger
caught
in the smudgy, scratched, dark windows

at every halted station
in its dreary tiles and commissioned art
on every platform
in the assemblage of expectant faces

in the blur of tubular partitioned colours
whooshing past
into the pot-lighted tunnels

in
every single
face up newspaper photo
peeking from underneath the benches
gray, bent, wilted
flickering its thumbed edges
for attention
in
every rolled up shiny magazine
with subscriber fingers surreptitiously
clutching its glossily splashed pages
in
every poster partially obstructed
bold, repetitive, ad adorned

at
every door entered
and every other door exited
every eye caught and blinked away

my attention remains but one moment
my memory collects but one impression
my life leaves behind another life

[pavalamani pragasam]

Fast and transitory- a true spiritual experience!

[Querida]

the Unbeliever's
defeat lies
in the grasp
of ideality.

Until Then...
If Ever...

he remains
the tired wanderer
who will never know
if he has gone
far enough
to know...

[pavalamani pragasam]

True! ........

[Querida]

and there it seems
the story had ended...

my omniscient presence,
my layered foreshadowing,
my myriad collage of
depthful symbols,
all could not control...

i subtly alluded!

i silently forewarned!

i scripted wayward tangents...

i kept what i wanted caught
in the surging streams
of the untamed consciousness

the scenes i downplayed
and the reams of dialog omitted
the lines i crossed out
and the pages ripped out

the unreliable narrator
i unwillingly became...

with nowhere else to go
i lived their story
with the ending
i never wanted to be true
and yet knew
it could be no other way...

and so i wrote...
i let them live
i let them fall
i let them bleed
i let them betray...

i let them question
i let them discover
i let them find their own way...

[pavalamani pragasam]

Confessions?!

[Querida]

Pavalamani Maam,

I tried to write from an author's view and the tools she could use in her craft
but finding that she is unable to alter the life of a story that had to be told.

[pavalamani pragasam]

:exactly::-D

[Querida]

Einmal ist Keinmal

for that one instance
we wait our whole
waking life
search for it in the depths of our subconscious
evaluating each novel experience
for the one happening that is all-expected
yet story-worthy...a myth in the making...

shelving what we curtail as mediocre
coalescing to this cushion of routine
in hopes that for once
with fragile awe
in astounded silence
we will humbly embrace
what has been dealt to us
to relive
what was alive for us
but once...

afraid that the moment
will leave without
impression...

a breath surges through
asking us to wait once again
to remember it's possible
to keep alert
but not expect

to keep awake
yet not blind to the
calling of the world
to return..

Einmal ist Einmal

German
*once is never
**once is once again

[Querida]

nothing to make you believe
that given the chance
things would not be any other way...

that come what may
the same distant words
would be re-spoken
cold and clear

why is pain is never absolved?
why does it instead become absorbed?

biding its time

it rages unleashed...

[pavalamani pragasam]

Metaphysical truths!

[Querida]

Restless
no longer the same as the others
one violety-veined among the whispering ochers
it awaits to be pulled away
to swirl, sway and lazily unfurl
to run away with the wind...

to play in its bullying gusts
and shiver in its breezy quick embraces
to flutter gently to and away from air-grasping hands

eager to gleam in the rain
that whispers of its iciness
to imprint its hued outline
onto the dulled sidewalks

to finally become crisp and brittle
raked and bagged away
and manage a quick flight escape
and join its muddied brothers
and trodden upon sisters
peering above at their bare
and skeletal mother.

[Querida]

why pluck a rose
to only knowingly pierce
one's finger?

to only redden
what is already red

it is only you who bleeds...

what the rose cannot understand

what it cannot ask aloud

is in the pain
you seek
again
again
again
with the hope
of finally
feeling blind bliss.

[Querida]

your subtle moves and tactful twists
your dulled instruments
all do so much harm...

do not let me come to my own conclusions.
i dread the moment where it all connects.
where i see your master plan.
where a pawn is given what she has asked.
and gained the insight to see the reality
of her words.

it is after all, a mere mortal's mumblings.
an ignorant impatience at fulfilling a promised good plan.
a rushed careening into believing all will be dealt.
by One who is more than all the ones that are, will be and have once been.

[Querida]

Patience a virtue:
self-inflicted
soul-afflicted
torturous through its inaction.

Inquistivity wrecks havoc
Uncertainty rules with hubris
unforgiving in its Silence
and yet one continues with wounded compliance...
Resilience erodes away
Courage lies in tatters
Optimism seems to have lost its boisterous voice
its stammering words fall flat
thudding to the floor
like failed echoes
while Truth sits and contemplates
its sadistic tendencies.

[pavalamani pragasam]

My God! A black picture it is!

[Querida]

to breathe in
the sea i need
to breathe out
the soil i need

to see
the sun i touch
to speak
the wind i hold
to taste
the rain i heed
to hear
the leaves i read
to think
the clouds i chase

to believe
it is only me that i need...

[Querida]

gnawing away
it has a left a weary-worn hole
only doubt rushes to fufill it
churning away:
tumultuous in its turmoil

the first cut was so very long ago
inflicted with ire and rust
the first seed planted
its thorn well pierced
its sap eats away...
it
still festers
still pesters
within the heart
that remains bleeding
upon the sleeve

[Querida]

your eyes ask
what have i done?
your loss of words
leave me more bewildered
dread, old friend,
i lean upon your scaly shoulder
once again...

and i am at a loss of words
for it makes no sense
i am caught in my guilt
for having unleashed
the craze
that pants within
its pent up pain
awaiting to engulf
another unknowing soul

the cracks have already
begun to crumble
the bandages slowly loosen

revealing
hope dying to
live longer
and awaiting
its salvation
blind to the
power to save itself

[Querida]

let me embrace
what giddy goodness comes my way
may i not question
what hapless happiness strays my way
let it remain lost in my awestruck joy
surrounded lovingly by all my jubliant wonder
and kept safe within
my wistful heart
that once again
believes
in you

[Querida]

let it be
let it be
let it be

my little mantra
whispers to itself
trudging bravely along
to a cheerful tune
that only it hears

so very young
and wise beyond its cooing years
knowing what is within its reach
and what all will never be
and still announce sagely with
cherubish glee:

let it be
let it be
let it be

[pavalamani pragasam]

At last some chirpy words after a long glorification of pain and bruises!!!

[Querida]

When placed on such a high pedestal
sooner or later
i am prone to err,
i am prone to trip,
if my long and lonely descent
does not break me
falling from your grace
surely will...

[Querida]

when careening to the ground
ready to hit rock bottom
i was lifted
gently gifted
i was saved.

saved
from seeking that black pool
of self-destruction
from trying in vain to
right the wrongs I never made
and though i cannot explain
and what comes what may
i dont want it to be any other way...

[Querida]

Dear Friends, Hubbers, and for all those who continue to give me encouragement through your silent yet steadily encouraging visits...I Thank You Truly, Through and Through...and with the beginning of this New Year...I would like to take a step towards a new direction...a little venture into using a blog to share my pieces. I would no doubt be delighted to have your readership and encouragement as always...

If interested please visit:

http://intotheindigo.wordpress.com

[pavalamani pragasam]

Wish you all the best, Q!

[Querida]

star-crossed yet still careening
towards an inevitable case of chaos.
reasons swirl like galaxies,
the stars all glow a warning,
the planets threaten to collude
and yet here we are floating
light years away
yet somehow stuck in
a treacherously redolent orbit
drifting ever close to the abyss
that awaits with knowing

[Querida]

Why do I teeter
back and forth?
at once annoyed
at once in joy
a glimpse of a pitied child
a glimpse of insolence’s wile
a time in boisterous wonder
a time in mute and sorrowful surrender…

[pavalamani pragasam]

Excited?! By what?

[Querida]

even as you speak the truth
each word gentled,
so as not to hurt what already is tender…
each statement wreathed with “That’s the way it is”
each phrase piqued in soft question
“Of do you understand? This is how it must be…”
each emotion huskily swallowed
and gently urging assent…

i let Silence do my talking.

http://intotheindigo.wordpress.com/2012/02/09/60/

[Querida]

i reach for the door
and before it breathes open



i know what waits behind
waits for me



the walls whisper

the floors creak
the curtains rush to hush



in splendor
in ruin
in wonder
in dread
i have seen many of your faces



i have watched many of your dwellers
and know i am no freer than they are
when i enter

http://intotheindigo.wordpress.com/2012/02/28/the-door/

[Shakthiprabha]

star-crossed yet still careening
towards an inevitable case of chaos.
reasons swirl like galaxies,
the stars all glow a warning,
the planets threaten to collude
and yet here we are floating
light years away
yet somehow stuck in
a treacherously redolent orbit
drifting ever close to the abyss
that awaits with knowing

macro thoughts... I have no words to describe what I felt after reawding this.
may be "silence" as my answer is the best reward :bow:

[Querida]

Thank you Shakthi, as always it is wonderful to hear from you as I always value your thoughts and comments. :D