My boy friend has got his nose pierced

[Shantadharani]

I live in Bangalore. My bf and myself have decided to get married in May 08. he is compu engineer and my parents have consented to our marriage.
He is very handsome and a real hunk. He likes nosestud verymuch. He asked me to get my nose pierced. I refused. once he told me he is getting his nose pierced. It seems a couple of guys in his work place wear nose rings. I thought he was joking and said go ahead. I was shocked to meet him next day wearing nosestud. I told him to remove it. He said 'i asked you to pierce your nose. you didnt. and i didn't force u. now how can you force me to do remove mine?' I didn't know what to answer. after the initial shock, i realise it looks really nice on him. He looks cool with his nose stud and earrings. Though i don't mind it, i am embarrased with my friends. I didn't meet my friends with him for a long time. later i couldnt avoid any longer. When they saw, some said it looks very cool. Some didn't like it at all. My friends say, it looks odd he wearing nose stud and I not wearing one. They are asking me to pierce my nose too. Now I don't know how I am going to take him to my parents. My parents would like me wearing nose stud (my mom has been insisting) But I am sure they would not approve of their son-in-law wearing a nose stud. I thought the fad would pass and he would remove the nose stud in a few weeks. but it is nearly 3 months and he is liking it more and more. He has no problem with his family (He has a mother and a sister). Infact his mother has given him a diamond nose stud. I don't know what to do. He respects me a lot and loves me very much. I am completely at a loss. Please advise me.

[app_engine]

It is quite outrageous, IMO, for men to wear nose rings:-( Your boy friend apparently wants to shock you and the society he lives in and still goes around without guilt. Funny that his mom consents to it:-( Both need some counselling, IMHO.

And you may want to talk to your parents about this. Web probably is not the best place to seek advice on such sensitive and personal choices.

[pavalamani pragasam]

Well, when you chose the boy as your future partner you didn't suspect what you are bargaining for! Probably you are in for continuous surprises throughout your life! Brace up or back out! It is up to you! Your life, you want to decide it! Not feeling adventurous enough to join a freakish family?

Poor modern girls! What a lot they face with their newly found freedom! :( :shock: :roll: :twisted: :banghead: :poke: :fishgrin: :rotfl:

[Lambretta]

He likes nosestud verymuch. He asked me to get my nose pierced. I refused. once he told me he is getting his nose pierced. It seems a couple of guys in his work place wear nose rings. I thought he was joking and said go ahead. I was shocked to meet him next day wearing nosestud. I told him to remove it. He said 'i asked you to pierce your nose. you didnt. and i didn't force u. now how can you force me to do remove mine?' I didn't know what to answer.
Honestly speaking I dont think wearing nose-studs makes any guy look entirely a wierdo! :roll:
Infact in some parts of the north like Rajasthan even men traditionally wear them. Plus many of the olden days Kings used to as well......so that makes it a sort of retro look in a way! :P :)
On a casual glance it isnt even noticeable, unless its one of those huge nose-rings like worn by lambada women....! :)

Otherwise I dont see wat u have to be alarmed bout...it cant be as embarassing as this scenario where/if he likes Sarees but u have a dislike, ok- discomfort- for wearing Sarees & so ur bf decides to go fulfill his dream somehow & lo! ends up "sacrificing" himself by wearing Sarees himself instead, like one of those 'CD's! Imagine how embarassing THAT wud be! :wink: :roll: :P :lol:

So thank God it isnt sumthin like tat! :lol2:

PP ma'm, :lol: :D

[Anoushka]

Lamby :lol:

btw, I think wearing nose studs is a personal choice... if he wants to wear one and you don't like it, then you will have to sort it amongst yourself... nothing too alarming about it! Though I wouldn't want to wear one (or would like my hubby to wear one!)

[Sanguine Sridhar]

No offence plz! Idha padikkum podhu "Thalainagaram" Vadivelu mugam gyabhagam varudhu :oops: :oops:

[pavalamani pragasam]

romba comedyaaththaan irukku! idukkan varungaal naguka!!!

[Lambretta]

romba comedyaaththaan irukku! idukkan varungaal naguka!!!
:? :confused2:...abbidina enna PP ma'm? :oops: :ashamed:

[pavalamani pragasam]

From a ThirukuRaL which advices us to laugh when facing an adversity.

[ajithfederer]

:rotfl:

No offence plz! Idha padikkum podhu "Thalainagaram" Vadivelu mugam gyabhagam varudhu :oops: :oops:

[crajkumar_be]

No offence plz! Idha padikkum podhu "Thalainagaram" Vadivelu mugam gyabhagam varudhu :oops: :oops:
:rotfl: :lol2:

[crazy]

Well, when you chose the boy as your future partner you didn't suspect what you are bargaining for! Probably you are in for continuous surprises throughout your life! Brace up or back out! It is up to you! Your life, you want to decide it! Not feeling adventurous enough to join a freakish family?

Poor modern girls! What a lot they face with their newly found freedom! :( :shock: :roll: :twisted: :banghead: :poke: :fishgrin: :rotfl:

:)

[app_engine]

http://www.urmc.rochester.edu/pr/News/story.cfm?id=292

Some evidence linking behavioural issues...

[app_engine]

>>I think wearing nose studs is a personal choice<<

The problem here is the personal choice can potentially drive people around you crazy:-) and a number of organizations even exclude body-piercing (other than women's ear rings) from their dress code.

In addition, there is some amount of "I-want-to-do-something-and-don't-care-what-others-think" kind of attitude here, which is even more serious and typically can cause a lot of marital stress, IMHO.

[Nerd]

No offence plz! Idha padikkum podhu "Thalainagaram" Vadivelu mugam gyabhagam varudhu :oops: :oops:
:lol: :rotfl:
ippO dhAn remmbba naaLaikku appuRam oru nalla topic vandhirukku.. idha pOyi discourage pannRIngaLE :hammer:

[Shantadharani]

It is quite outrageous, IMO, for men to wear nose rings:-( Your boy friend apparently wants to shock you and the society he lives in and still goes around without guilt. Funny that his mom consents to it:-( Both need some counselling, IMHO.

And you may want to talk to your parents about this. Web probably is not the best place to seek advice on such sensitive and personal choices.


Not feeling adventurous enough to join a freakish family?

Sorry i don't agree with you. If my bf needs counselling, then all the girls who wear jeans and shirt, girls with boy cut, boys with pony tail, girls who have NOT pierced their nose all need counselling.
Regarding his mom, she is perhaps the kindest, most unprejudicial, non-judgmental, most mature lady I have ever seen in my life. That is more than what I can say of my own mother. If she needs counselling, then all of us are insane.

Infact I talked to his mother about this. She said, "you talk as though he has committed a crime. he hasn't hurt anybody, he hasn't trampled upon anybody's rights. why do you censor him? Be clear of what is right and what is wrong"

[Shantadharani]

My BF is a paradox. He is very"conservative" in many sense. He doesn't drink or smoke. He is very stubborn and rigid in his values. Once he drove back 15 Kms to return 20 rupees a mango vendor had given extra by mistake. He is very chivalrous, which is rarely to be seen among the boys now. He has never made me spend a single paisa so far. He is very respectful towards me, never uses harsh words. No profanity. Shuns vulgarity. Loves old hindi numbers. but 4 his looks, he could belong to an other era. You are all making him out to be a villain or something.

[Badri]

My BF is a paradox. He is very"conservative" in many sense. He doesn't drink or smoke. He is very stubborn and rigid in his values. Once he drove back 15 Kms to return 20 rupees a mango vendor had given extra by mistake. He is very chivalrous, which is rarely to be seen among the boys now. He has never made me spend a single paisa so far. He is very respectful towards me, never uses harsh words. No profanity. Shuns vulgarity. Loves old hindi numbers. but 4 his looks, he could belong to an other era. You are all making him out to be a villain or something.

No no Shanta...these people are not painting your bf as a villian it is just that they are reasonably shocked that is all.

Here in Australia mooku mattum enna nakku kooda pierced thaan! People pierce every part of the body even their tongues. There is nothing intrinsically wrong with your bf piercing his nose.

But if you find it a problem, if you find it hard to get him to meet your parents and stuff, then you can talk with him and work it out with him. I am sure he will be quite willing to remove his nose stud for the few hrs he has to spend with your family or friends. Everything is solved by communication, If he is indeed as chivalrous and good as you say he is, then I am sure he will not blame you for your family or friends' not taking kindly to his nose stud.

The important question is Are you happy for him to express himself in the way he wants by wearing a nose stud? If you are not then you both need to talk and come to some kind of an understanding about that.

All I can say that it depends entirely on the culture and societal outlook to these things. In countries like Australia it is quite a normal thing to do...not freakish or anything; although as app_engine has said, many corporate organisations do frown on too much piercing and tatooing.

[Anoushka]

Shanta: :) don't get us wrong... you yourself said that you are not comfortable with your BF meeting your friends and family with the nose stud, why? Most people think the same too, and hence this kind of response....

In India we are not used to it so it is difficult for people to accept.

Here where I live and work, all this is quite common. I have friends with pierced tongue, belly button, eye brows, etc.. guys with long hair is also common (I personally think they are cute) :) It will take time for people to adjust, till then you will have to sort it out with your boy friend as to what works for both of you :)

[Shakthiprabha.]

In Rome be a roman is the saying.

OR else

ppl would pass comments and criticisms would be invited.

Though personally such ppl would be gems, ppl would initially get them wrong. Shanthala, I think this might be the reason for ur initial hesitation.

There are 2 options.

1. In case u urself are fine with it, Forget what others think, or comment. You and ur friend, and ur immediately family alone should matter, nothing else / none else.

2. If u are not comfortable, please explain him the situation and sort it out WITH UR FRIEND, not here in hub. This is not the right place shanthala :)


He is very"conservative" in many sense. He doesn't drink or smoke. He is very stubborn and rigid in his values. Once he drove back 15 Kms to return 20 rupees a mango vendor had given extra by mistake. He is very chivalrous, which is rarely to be seen among the boys now. He has never made me spend a single paisa so far. He is very respectful towards me, never uses harsh words. No profanity. Shuns vulgarity. Loves old hindi numbers. but 4 his looks, he could belong to an other era.

:) Good for u.

Generally, MOST human beings have the tendency to go for the cover and judge the book.

Be cool! only few things matter.

HOW U FEEL
HOW HE FEELS
HOW UR CLOSE ppl feel
HOW U TAKE CRITICISMS.

The famous saying goes

"For any rare/new/ things
First there would be rejection
then ridicule
then criticism
finally...acceptance"

[Lambretta]

//
guys with long hair is also common (I personally think they are cute) :)
Maybe but not as cute as girls w/ long hair mind u! :wink: :yes: :lol: :D //

[Anoushka]

//Lamby: I sometimes think that you are my brother in disguise, and this post only makes me feel I am right :lol: He says his wife should have long hair, and ofcourse he loves herald! :lol: //

[Shakthiprabha.]

// Oh I too personally feel women with long hair (thick too) is too beautiful! :D Ofcourse if its left unbraided and loose (not tied or plaited) :)

sigh ... not all of us are lucky to have such long and thick hair though :cry3:

Looks like this is becoming fantansy thread :D //

[app_engine]

Hey, hey Shantadharani...it's not my purpose to portrait your boy friend or his mom as anything. I was just responding to your first post on the thread (which obviously shows that something bothered you to such an extent that you opened out a private matter on the web).

If they are both good and great, please have fun:-))

And if you're not in a position to take suggestions from people on the internet -that too simply as a response to your own statements, it would be prudent not to solicit such, strictly IMO:-)

[app_engine]

>>If she needs counselling, then all of us are insane.<<

Another interesting question was raised, as to who needs "counselling". Well, all of us need counselling - on something or other. By "counselling", it does not automatically mean something that a psychiatrist delivers. It could be something from an elderly family member or similar social entities. None of us live in isolation from others. What actions we make that have shock effect on others (or at least irritability / botheration etc.), need to be pointed out by those who are interested in our well-being. Personally, I always accept counsel - from young and old alike - and keep making changes in life.

In my not so humble opinion, those who think they don't need counsel are bordering on insanity and not otherwise.

[app_engine]

>>Once he drove back 15 Kms to return 20 rupees a mango vendor had given extra by mistake.<<

While his honesty is definitely appreciable, I'm wondering whether mangoes started costing so much in India that 20 Rs can be given "extra" in the change:-) and I'm also wondering whether money has lost so much value in India that people no longer could make out 20 Rs given "extra" in the change:-)) romba uthaikkudhu and may be I'm far behind the things back home.

Though correcting the wrong is a great thing, the going could be too difficult (and costly) if there are too many such mistakes get committed (like taking an extra Rs 20 as change) and are getting repaired:-))

[Billgates]

Shantadharini

IMO, you should try to resolve this issue straight with your BF by explaining your thought process about such things. This I think will enable you both to have a better understanding of sensitive issues.
After all, give and take is all about life no !?

[app_engine]

>>but 4 his looks, he could belong to an other era<<

With his diamond nose ring, he made sure the looks are corrected as well:-)) NOM!

[app_engine]

>>He is very chivalrous, which is rarely to be seen among the boys now. He has never made me spend a single paisa so far. He is very respectful towards me, never uses harsh words. No profanity. Shuns vulgarity.<<

I thought these were the norm for most people I grew up / lived with. Going by your portrayal that only your boy friend fits these qualities, I'm wondering whether the world has changed so much in India (or those around you except your boy friend are hooligans)...

[pavalamani pragasam]

:lol:

[ksen]

Sometimes, things which seem to be enormous problems to some, come across as a joke to others :D

May be it is a case of a generation gap, but I find it difficult to identify with the problem. If you are really strong in your love (or relationship) :roll: this would not seem to be such a big issue. (Ulagathila evvalavO problem irukkumpOdhu idhellaam izhuthu vittukkara maadhiri irukku :evil:)

Like app-engine is pointing out, other than the ornamentation, your guy comes across as too rigid or a bit madisanji. Hope this doesn't turn out as the least of your problems. (sorry, IMO)

Wish and pray this is the greatest problem in your relationship, because, this is just insignificant, like a french beard, - it may come and go :D

[Shantadharani]

This is my first thread in this hub and will be my last.

I regret that I opened this thread giving opportunity for people who think they are demi gods to indulge in self deification.

If people like app_engine are moderators of this hub, I don't see many decent people staying in this hub.

As for PP is concerned, what is she laughing at? She is only exposing her vulgarity within!!!

But I do sincerely thank the hubbers, Shaktiprabha, Anoushka, the mature Badri, Lambretta and Bill Gates, (glad they are the majority) who gave me their view points and advise without condecending on me and without any acrimony.

[pavalamani pragasam]

Compliment received with thanks! :D

[Billgates]

Pavalamani Prakasam

Would have been great if you had given some constructive suggestion instead of mocking . To me, Shantadhanini looks genuinely concerned about her future life partner.
Pls offer some valuable advice >> as reflects in your signature !

[ksen]

Bill Gates : I am sorry, but PP was the first to give her some constructive advice. It looks more like she wants people to sympathise with her in the name of advice.

[Lambretta]

//Lamby: I sometimes think that you are my brother in disguise, and this post only makes me feel I am right :lol: He says his wife should have long hair, and ofcourse he loves herald! :lol: //
// :lol: Anou, I do sumtimes wish I were ur bro. too, considering tat I wudve had a Herald & a Lambretta in my family tat way! :wink: :lol: :P Good to know ur bro. & I share some similar tastes! :D Oh, and does he also wish his wife shud (love to) wear only Sarees?? :D
Reg. herald, there is one currently for sale in chennai itself if he's int'd.........but for a fantastic price (87k!! :frightened:): The link to tat site isnt working for now so cant show u! :(.....//

[Shantadharani]

Mr ksen,

Comments like

"Not feeling adventurous enough to join a freakish family?

Poor modern girls! What a lot they face with their newly found freedom! "

is constructive advise??!!!! :huh: :(

[pavalamani pragasam]

Bill Gates : I am sorry, but PP was the first to give her some constructive advice. It looks more like she wants people to sympathise with her in the name of advice.

Leave them alone! We can lead the animal to the pond, but can't make it drink. Modern youth lost in a quagmire of delusions! Will not accept a hand lent to pull them out! Bent on learning the hard way instead of availing experienced counsel! Can only humour them! :huh:

[pavalamani pragasam]

Read carefully what she said - the boy wanted her to get her nose pierced as expected from any traditional-liking man might. She refused. He got his nose pierced. He respected her decision, didn't pressurise her to comply to his wish. She on the other hand is not gracious enough to give him the same freedom he gave her! She does not seem to regard the marriage contract as a mutual agreement to give and take. This same trend among modern girls of regarding the relationship as a one-way traffic is a matter for concern. All eligible bachelors better note the point!!! :yes:

[Shekhar]

Shantadharani,

You are a big fool to come to this hub for a serious advise which is going to affect your whole life. First of all you should know that a hub is like a zoo, you will find all types and all hues.
I really feel sorry for your predicament and disappointment.
May be a couple of years back, you would have got some really friendly advise here. Not any more. People with "I know all" and "Holier than thou" signboards have driven many nice hubbers out of this hub.
My adivice is, dont come here if you want some serious advise. Come here for pastime, come here for a show off.

[pavalamani pragasam]

Back with a bang!!! What a comeback!!! :lol:

[pavalamani pragasam]

A true knight with chivalry up in arms quick to the rescue of a lady in distress after a long penance for not respecting the honour of the same fair sex!!! :huh:

[Shakthiprabha.]

wb shekar! :)


Shantadharani,

You are a big fool to come to this hub for a serious advise which is going to affect your whole life. First of all you should know that a hub is like a zoo, you will find all types and all hues.

true.


May be a couple of years back, you would have got some really friendly advise here.

:(

I think they still are freindly :)


Not any more. People with "I know all" and "Holier than thou" signboards have driven many nice hubbers out of this hub.

:notthatway: :(


My adivice is, dont come here if you want some serious advise.

I agree with you on this completely!


Come here for pastime, come here for a show off.

:(

Why such a bitter post shekar :(

when all of us are glad that u are back :)

[Lambretta]

Come here for pastime, come here for a show off.

:(

Why such a bitter post shekar :(

when all of us are glad that u are back :)
KK 'ka, his above comment itself shud answer ur question! :( :P

[Shekhar]

Hi Shakti,

Nice to see hubbers like you and lambretta are still around :D :D
My sheer humour to keep the stress levels down, has been attacked time and again, as you know, and I felt sort of 'not wanted' here. I can never be serious for too long :wink:
Nice to realise that you are glad to find me again here. :D
And your points are well taken. Thank you for guiding me on the right path :)

[NOV]

Dear Shekhar


My sheer humour to keep the stress levels down, has been attacked time and again, as you know, and I felt sort of 'not wanted' here. I know of not one single person who doesnt want you here. I speak for everyone when I say we always look fwd to your posts and enjoy your "company" very much. And before you brand me as a "know-all" pls trust me on this one; I know what I am talking abt. :D

Regards
NOV

[Shakthiprabha.]

Hi Shakti,

Nice to see hubbers like you and lambretta are still around :D :D
My sheer humour to keep the stress levels down, has been attacked time and again, as you know, and I felt sort of 'not wanted' here. I can never be serious for too long :wink:



In case u are unaware, THERE IS A HUGE fan crowd for shekar in our hub. THEY DONT EXPRESS IT. Its simple as that :)

Relax and who asked u to be serious? DONT BE SERIOUS AT ALL. :)
There are lot of us, who joke around here, to relieve our regular day to day stress. JOIN THE GANG.

Just like how u have ur opinion, others are entitled for their own. End of the day, all hub friends are good friends here, and we all do like other hubbers or care for them despite view differences :)

(You are too wise to know, all this, please understand I am not here to educate u, but just remind u, so that u feel wanted again :)

Expecting ur posts time n again :) and there are LOT OF US, who missed ur witty posts.

Okay lets not digress here, :P where we are suppose to comfort shantha or suggest a thing or two as she seem confused.

I wonder if she would come back to hub though :? :(

[Shakthiprabha.]

I say DITTO to what nov says :D

[dev]

In case u are unaware, THERE IS A HUGE fan crowd for shekar in our hub. THEY DONT EXPRESS IT. Its simple as that :)


:exactly: Incl me...:)

[Lambretta]

Nice to see hubbers like you and lambretta are still around :D :D
:shock: :shock:
Anna shekhar, I never knew u had a good feeling bout me!! :oops:

Mama, I'm really really touched! :notworthy: :ty: :sniff: :sob: :tears_of_joy:

[Shekhar]

Nice to see hubbers like you and lambretta are still around :D :D
:shock: :shock:
Anna shekhar, I never knew u had a good feeling bout me!! :oops:


How could you know?!! You are too busy making sisters!! :lol: :lol:
Please let me make myself clear. I DONT want any sisters here in the hub. Some how, curse my luck, all the girls who get near me end up as my sisters!!! :cry2: :confused2:

Thanks NOV for your kind words. And thanks dev! :)

[pavalamani pragasam]

That's better! :D

[Lambretta]

How could you know?!! You are too busy making sisters!! :lol: :lol:
OK, find me a single (pun intended! :P) girl who shares *certain* interests of mine & I'll be as busy making a brother-in-law!! :wink: :lol: :D

[pavalamani pragasam]

:shock: :roll:

[Shakthiprabha.]

:shock: :roll:

:lol2: :D

[Lambretta]

:shock: :roll:
PP ma'm, if this is in response to my post, u know I was addressing tat to Shekhar......so 'can make out how serious I was! :wink: :P :lol:

[pavalamani pragasam]

A blessing it is to see the comic element in all that we see or hear, Lambretta!!

[Billgates]

Looks like this thread is already hijacked ! thanks to some seasoned hubbers !

[Meera-ssg]

Shanthadharani,

Take it from me, dear, all this fad goes off in few months / years. Like others rightly pointed out, when the corporate corum differs, he would automatically fall back with what world demands :huh:

Relax, let him sport the way he wants. He would get tired of it someday. Most trends are just signs of showing "I AM DIFFERENT" which crops from routine boredom.

It goes off :)

Goodluck buddy!

[Shekhar]

Looks like this thread is already hijacked ! thanks to some seasoned hubbers !
"Guilty!!"

But I think the poor girl has left frustrated. But if at all she visits, here is my penny worth.

Your boyfriend is not the first guy to wear a nose stud. I have seen atleast a dozen guys wearing nosestud/nose ring in Bangalore, atleast half dozen guys in Indian Pop videos, one guy in a fashion show, and many many foreigners in Goa, Bangalore and elsewhere.
So what is the big deal? From what you have described of him, he seems to me to be a sterling guy, so dont lose him. I am sure he will stand by you till the end. He seems to come from a mature, broadminded family, so you are lucky, they will respect you and not scoff at you for minute deviation from the "set norms".
Cajole him not to wear nose stud before your parents till the marriage is over!! Afterwards he all yours!! :wink: Poor Chap!! :lol: :lol:

[Shantadharani]

i dont know how to react to ur advise. Hope u r not making fun of me. But I can see your sincerety. thank you.

[Raghu]

though i almost lost interest in the hub, i could not resist this topic
:lol: :lol:
Vadivelu looked smashing with his nose stud as 'Nai sekar' Nai Sekar, auwwwwwwww :oops: :rotfl::rotfl2:

[malligai]

No offence plz! Idha padikkum podhu "Thalainagaram" Vadivelu mugam gyabhagam varudhu :oops: :oops:

no offence from my part too...but the exact image of vadivel come to my mind too... :D

but how can ur bf go to his workplace with a nose stud??.. :roll: ..really strange...even here, in the US, offices normally dont let people to wear things like nose studs to work..

even some women [indian women] are adviced against wearing them to offices bcos it is considered to be a ''really real" freaky thing...

nose studs, pony tails. ..gosh, where r we heading!!! :shock:

[malligai]

oopss shantha,


dint realize that u r already upset by soo many offbeat opinions...


when u post such things in a hub like this, u should be tolerant to criticisms...

and to be honest, if u love and respect ur bf so much, opinion from a bunch of strangers should not matter to u at all...so take in whatever u feel right and just exude the rest...

good luck!! :thumbsup:

[Lambretta]

even some women [indian women] are adviced against wearing them to offices bcos it is considered to be a ''really real" freaky thing...
Apologies for digressing here but cant help asking-
Malligai: are Indian women in the US who like to wear Indian outfits,. esp. Sarees, & other trad. stuff like bottu/kumgumam forbidden from wearing those also at work? I rem. around 15-20 yrs ago (we were in the US for a year in 1985-86) these were pretty much looked down upon in the US & ppl. complained tat they felt 'alienated' in the company of women who dressed this way, much to the disappointment of the then Saree/bottu-loving women! :roll: :x

[ajithfederer]

Hi Shantadharani (Wow thats a big name) :D

IMHO, I don't think that your concern should be a big worry. Your boyfriend is loving you so much and I think if you could explain him your displeasure i am sure that he would listen to you.

My best wishes for your blissful married life :) 8-).

[Sanguine Sridhar]

Hi Shantadharani (Wow thats a big name) :D

IMHO, I don't think that your concern should be a big worry. Your boyfriend is loving you so much and I think if you could explain him your displeasure i am sure that he would listen to you.

My best wishes for your blissful married life :) 8-).

:exactly: and why you need to worry about the society? We have seen some pair like tall - short, plump - lean, fair - dark they are living happily because of their love. This is a trivial issue! Solve it if you are smart. Ask him to wear a smaller one if it is too big, select the nose stud for him, show some interest initially later give him your opinion.He will listen! Getting a man like this as a life partner is your luck.
Take it easy Shantadharani and happy married life. :)

[malligai]

[Apologies for digressing here but cant help asking-
Malligai: are Indian women in the US who like to wear Indian outfits,. esp. Sarees, & other trad. stuff like bottu/kumgumam forbidden from wearing those also at work? I rem. around 15-20 yrs ago (we were in the US for a year in 1985-86) these were pretty much looked down upon in the US & ppl. complained tat they felt 'alienated' in the company of women who dressed this way, much to the disappointment of the then Saree/bottu-loving women! :roll: :x

Hi Lamby, :)

Yes, I have never seen Indian women wearing saree or churi to their offices...and ofcourse no kunkumam too..

Office parties r a differnt story...many women make use of this opporunity to show off their wonderful sarees and churis..

By wearing our traditional costumes we might alienate ourselves from the 'routine' crowd...'we must be like a Roman when we r in Rome', dont u think?? :D

infact, many Indian women in the professional fields dress in formal attires, and r better dressed than many American women... :D

[Lambretta]

Hi Lamby, :)

Yes, I have never seen Indian women wearing saree or churi to their offices...and ofcourse no kunkumam too..

Office parties r a differnt story...many women make use of this opporunity to show off their wonderful sarees and churis..
Thanks for ur reply malligai....yes I am aware tat they do wear Indian dresses at parties/occasions. even some american/western women do infact! :)


By wearing our traditional costumes we might alienate ourselves from the 'routine' crowd...'we must be like a Roman when we r in Rome', dont u think?? :D
I'd think tat holds good for the Roman Empire, which was a KINGDOM, therefore no question of counter-opinions. But the US is ssupposed to be one big DEMOCRACY, dont u agree?? :D
Infact IMHO its better off in India in that regard- a foreigner who lives here can wear any attire she wants while mingling w/ the locals, as long as its decently clad, she is not expected to follow the "Roman in Rome" philosophy here.


infact, many Indian women in the professional fields dress in formal attires, and r better dressed than many American women... :D
IMHO Saree is one dress (depending on the type & way u wear it) tat is capable of looking even more professional anywhere than the knee-length skirts tat r worn as professional wear! :)
Note: I'm talking in context of women who LIKE/CHOOSE to wear Sarees, so no attacks plse.! :P :oops:

[rajraj]

Lambretta: If it makes you happy my wife goes to work in saree or salvar kamiz with nose stud, ear rings,bangles and kumkumam. There is no dress code except when it is a safety hazard. I have seen some of my fellow professors (Indian female) go to teach clad in saree or salvar kamiz. It would have been odd thirty of forty years back when the Indian population was small. With more than two million Indians in the US it is no longer odd! :)

[Shekhar]

Saree is one dress (depending on the type & way u wear it) tat is capable of looking even more professional anywhere than the knee-length skirts tat r worn as professional wear! :)
Skirts, or rather short of knee length skirts also look "professional" buddy, if you do not know, depending upon the profession ofcourse !! :lol: :lol:

[sarna_blr]

Ms Shanthadharani...if u dont mind...pls read further.....kindal panrEnu nenakkaadheenga... 8-)

Mookku kuththi valayam pOttirukkuradhaa sonneenga....pengal maadhiri idam (or)valappakkam kuththi irukkaaraa? illa mookkukku naduvula kuththu irukkaaaraa? (naaisekhar vadivel maadhiri)....eppadi irukkum'nu karpanai panni paakkadhaan.... :roll:

yEna...naan hyderabad vandha piragu....abaaya mani maadhiri lipstick'a mattum pOttukittu irukkura modern ponnungala (?) paaththittirukkuradhaala dhaan kEkkurEn....

Naanga pOduramaadhiri...baniyanum :shock: trouserum :x pOttuttu road'la neenga (modern pengal :roll: ) mattum varalaam....appadi patta pengalai koottittu pOyi enga sondha kaaranga munnaala nippaatturadhukku naanga koochchappada koodaadhu :( ....yEna madern yugam ...but naanga mookkula ring maattuna ungalukku asingam :oops: ....Enna koduma sir idhu.....indha gnaayaththa kEkka yaarumE illaya....

[Shekhar]

Will somebody translate the above post please.. :?

[Lambretta]

Saree is one dress (depending on the type & way u wear it) tat is capable of looking even more professional anywhere than the knee-length skirts tat r worn as professional wear! :)
Skirts, or rather short of knee length skirts also look "professional" buddy, if you do not know, depending upon the profession ofcourse !! :lol: :lol:
Hmm......oh well, to each their own, buddy!

*PEACE* :lol: :lol:

[sarna_blr]

Will somebody translate the above post please.. :?

:shock: ungalukku tamizh kalandha english puriyaadhaa? :roll:

[Lambretta]

Lambretta: If it makes you happy my wife goes to work in saree or salvar kamiz with nose stud, ear rings,bangles and kumkumam. There is no dress code except when it is a safety hazard. I have seen some of my fellow professors (Indian female) go to teach clad in saree or salvar kamiz. It would have been odd thirty of forty years back when the Indian population was small. With more than two million Indians in the US it is no longer odd! :)
Well happy it does make me, rajraj....glad to know Sarees (sorry to offend others but I'm not really concerned/interested in salwars :P) r considered acceptable there......but I'm sure not yet as broadly despite the rising Indian population there. Still, it must be better than 20 odd yrs ago when we were in the US. Ironically though I guess the present situation makes no difference for the present-gen Indian women who live there as most of them arent as crazy bout wearing Sarees all/most of the time as their predecessors were, in fact they prob. welcome the 'restrictions' there! :roll: :oops:

Aside, I think this thread better be moved into HUBBERS LOUNGE?

[kb]

ooh! Special case: I am sure he will understand if u tell him in a polite way. this is what love and affection is all about.

Avanavan life-la drinks and smoking habit-a stop panraanga. This is a minor problem.

The way u think that u should not hurt him and ur in search of a solution itself says how much care u take to maintain this relationship :notworthy:

IMO, Dont assume anything.. that he might get hurt or something.. its always better to talk to him directly and be ready to accept his answer.. Gud for you.

Gud luck.

On a lighter note.. get him lot of ice-creams and cool drinks.. IF he gets a common cold, he might get uncomfortable with his nose-ring :)

[ajithfederer]

:exactly:

ooh! Special case: I am sure he will understand if u tell him in a polite way. this is what love and affection is all about.

Avanavan life-la drinks and smoking habit-a stop panraanga. This is a minor problem.

The way u think that u should not hurt him and ur in search of a solution itself says how much care u take to maintain this relationship :notworthy:

IMO, Dont assume anything.. that he might get hurt or something.. its always better to talk to him directly and be ready to accept his answer.. Gud for you.

Gud luck.

On a lighter note.. get him lot of ice-creams and cool drinks.. IF he gets a common cold, he might get uncomfortable with his nose-ring :)

[Menaka]

Hey Shanta :)

There's nothing more I need to add. You guys will do totally fine if you don't worry about the society. Just do what you feel like and talk it out. Good luck :D :thumbsup:

[malligai]

Saree is one dress (depending on the type & way u wear it) tat is capable of looking even more professional anywhere than the knee-length skirts tat r worn as professional wear! :)
Skirts, or rather short of knee length skirts also look "professional" buddy, if you do not know, depending upon the profession ofcourse !! :lol: :lol:

I dont think that there is anything to laugh about this... :?

formal suits with skirts is one of the best attire for women, that matches men with suits...and if worn the right way, with the right accessories it is very respectable...

[malligai]

Gud luck.

On a lighter note.. get him lot of ice-creams and cool drinks.. IF he gets a common cold, he might get uncomfortable with his nose-ring :)

thats funny, but might work... :lol:

[Nichiro]

My grandfather had his nose and ears pierced. So did his brothers.

[Shekhar]

Skirts, or rather short of knee length skirts also look "professional" buddy, if you do not know, depending upon the profession ofcourse !! :lol: :lol:

I dont think that there is anything to laugh about this... :?

malligai, you should stop taking my posts seriously.. :) :)

[Billgates]

While nose ring concept is a question mark, I see the ear ring still prevalent ! Especially with Northies. This seem to be acceptable for women .

[Shekhar]

While nose ring concept is a question mark, I see the ear ring still prevalent ! Especially with Northies. This seem to be acceptable for women .

I dont undestand, if women can wear everything that men wear, right from hunter boots, to neck ties, why should a man wearing a nose stud become unacceptable? :? :o
Just like nose stud doesn't look nice on some women, it would look cool on some men too... Wouldn't it?!!

[Sanguine Sridhar]

While nose ring concept is a question mark, I see the ear ring still prevalent ! Especially with Northies. This seem to be acceptable for women .

I dont undestand, if women can wear everything that men wear, right from hunter boots, to neck ties, why should a man wearing a nose stud become unacceptable? :? :o
Just like nose stud doesn't look nice on some women, it would look cool on some men too... Wouldn't it?!!

Hmm! Shekhar, How about Chudithar, Sarees for men? :irked: :twisted:

[sarna_blr]

While nose ring concept is a question mark, I see the ear ring still prevalent ! Especially with Northies. This seem to be acceptable for women .

I dont undestand, if women can wear everything that men wear, right from hunter boots, to neck ties, why should a man wearing a nose stud become unacceptable? :? :o
Just like nose stud doesn't look nice on some women, it would look cool on some men too... Wouldn't it?!!

Hmm! Shekhar, How about Chudithar, Sarees for men? :irked: :twisted:

Sridhar anna....

kaila valayal...kaal'la kolusu...thalaila poo... :lol:

[Shekhar]

Hmm! Shekhar, How about Chudithar, Sarees for men? :irked: :twisted:

It is point of argument. Men may not like to wear it. It is up to them.(Personally I wouldn't do anything remotely feminine). But women have no cause to complain or object.
I have seen women wearing 100% men's attire. (Normally they make minute modification and call it women's! :roll: :wink: ) Why should Shantadharani feel embarassed at her boy friend wearing nose stud. I think he feels ultra modern in fashion, making a statement!!
I feel the distinction between what is feminine and what is masculine in fashion and attire, has also extremely thinned out!! And because of women, mind it.

[Billgates]

Chudidar , Kurta >> already men have been using this . All pyjama, jibba stuff r a by product .

I think there are certain specifics which look nice only when a woman does it >> like Bharatanatyam or kathak dancing etc. Though there r masters like Dhananjay etc, still it looks more gorgeous when a PadmaSUbramaniam or Vyjanthimala performs !

[Lambretta]

Hmm! Shekhar, How about Sarees for men? :irked: :twisted:
Perosnally I wouldnt go tat far! :notthatway: Even tho I admit I'm way more crazy bout Sarees than most of today's women! :roll: :P :oops:

[Lambretta]

Chudidar , Kurta >> already men have been using this . All pyjama, jibba stuff r a by product .
Actually I was under the impression it was the other way round- Kurta pyjama, with the dupatta added (altho sum women dont wear tat), morphed into the present-day chduidaar/salwar....... :? :confused2: :roll:

'sounds akin to the old question- did the egg come from the chicken or vice-versa? Hmm.... :roll: :confused2: :huh:


I think there are certain specifics which look nice only when a woman does it >> like Bharatanatyam or kathak dancing etc.
Not to mention Saree-wearing! :yes: :thumbsup:
So, to answer Sridhar's question, men wud never come to wearing it! :wink: :P :D

[Sanguine Sridhar]

Hmm! Shekhar, How about Sarees for men? :irked: :twisted:
Perosnally I wouldnt go tat far! :notthatway: Even tho I admit I'm way more crazy bout Sarees than most of today's women! :roll: :P :oops:

:rotfl: :rotfl: Please Shyam, never do that! :lol:

[Lambretta]

:rotfl: :rotfl: Please Shyam, never do that! :lol:
:exactly: U as a good friend/well-wisher dont want me to either, right? :D

Then go find me a gal who would love to do that! Quick! Jaldi! Seekram! Thoraga!! Begam! :twisted: :wink: :P :lol:

[Sanguine Sridhar]

:rotfl: :rotfl: Please Shyam, never do that! :lol:
:exactly: U as a good friend/well-wisher dont want me to either, right? :D

Then go find me a gal who would love to do that! Quick! Jaldi! Seekram! Thoraga!! Begam! :twisted: :wink: :P :lol:

Profession-ye maathidiveenga pola :roll:

[Lambretta]

Profession-ye maathidiveenga pola :roll:
:lol: :lol: :P :lol2:

I mean ungalku therinja vanga circle'la abbidi patta poNNu oru vaela iruntha enaku intro. pannalam...... :wink: :P :D

[happyindian]

Shantadharani,

Hope you are still around this thread. Can understand your confusion.

Hv a cousin who wore a single dangling earring 4 a long time. His mom is like your future mil - cool. The guy outgrew it, but after nearly 4 years. He's a perfectly nice guy in every way. Me too had a bald head for a few years as a teenager. Some ppl comment initially, then accept you anyways.

The best way to go abt it is to not think abt it. You both love each other - what else do you need.

[Shakthiprabha.]

Many kings wore attires akin to today's salwar,
They had their ears pierced, wore earrings etc.

They sported long hair :)

It would be interesting to observe that, fashions were the ALMOST SIMILAR everywhere in the world, during medival period. So aren't we actually talking about GOING BACK TO MEDIVAL days ?

It would be fascinating to rewind time machine to see WHAT INDIANS wore before colonisation.

Most of what we term as today's men's wear IS NOT AN INDIAN WEAR for men and now we talk about, men looking MANLY, or accepting their social behaviour, their manliness, only with certain NON-INDIAN attires or presentations :)

Fashion changed... SO DID WE.
Fashion would change yet again... SO WOULD WE.

[Lambretta]

Many kings wore attires akin to today's salwar

It would be interesting to observe that, fashions were the ALMOST SIMILAR everywhere in the world, during medival period. So aren't we actually talking about GOING BACK TO MEDIVAL days ?

Interestingly men also wore attires that r believed to be the original version of Saree:

http://www.kamat.com/kalranga/ancient/sari4men.htm

Personally though, as I said, I wouldnt want us to go back to this! I'd prefer Saree remaining associated to women only! :P :lol2: :D


Fashion changed... SO DID WE.
Fashion would change yet again... SO WOULD WE.
Well in tat case I hope it changes again in case of women, ie. Sarees becoming as common as before! :thumbsup: :D
No dont worry KK 'ka, u neednt be included in it! :P :wink: :lol:

[thilak4life]

This is nothing, piercing has explored new avenues. You wouldn't want to hear all that..

[Nolok]

Hi,
When u love some one u must love his emotion. It's notin but a skin piercing. if no one have any objection on ear piercing then why embargo on nose piercing for him? U said he looks cool with nose pin! if it's cool on him u feel n he likes to wear nose pin u must support him. His mother also supporting him by presenting diamond nose stud! I think u'd also gift him a nose pin. Just dont gift u fix it on his nose by ur self. I think u'll ventrue his happyness newly n he'll want u n love u like anytin. Dont be idle by presenting a nose stud, discuss with him how to take care n suggest him to change with regularly. Pierce your nose. He'll love it more then anytin i think.

[Raghu]

Auwwwwww,

all I can say is

Nai sekar Nai sekar, followed by Auwwwww,

Shekar Ji, i am not refering to you here, i am refering to Nai Sekar ,

[MADDY]

interesting topic, much better than "reservation" thread :lol:.....i'm for one who believes in personal freedom and space even after marriage.......there shuldnt be any oppression/domintation/depression from the partner's side.......the partner shuld lead a free life and do things that he likes.....at the same time, he/she shouldnt do things that wud affect their partners or put them to embarrassment.........they have to strike a balance between their personal space and responsibility......

unfortunately, there are some things that we brand as abnormal/eccentric in this society like nose piercing.......we have to make sure that we exlpain those things to our spouse so that they neednt feel embarassed in front of others.......if our spouse is not willing to accept that action of ours, then we may have to drop it or negotiate to the acceptable level for them........its all about adjustment and understanding after all :D

[sriranga]

interesting topic,
appadinnu solla mudiyadhu


much better than "reservation" thread :lol:.....

kandippa :lol:

[Raghu]

kanungahala

I was looking fro the Nai Sekar video in youtube, couldn't find it, if some some one finds it please upload it here

I AM SURE THAT VIDEO WILL SOLVE THIS ISSUE

AUWWWW :lol2: :rotfl2:

[joe]

interesting topic, much better than "reservation" thread :lol:

best example for "Che Che intha pazham puLikkum" :lol:

[Raghu]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ANQOkZ00paU&feature=related



Nose stud sooperabaaa sooperau