Changes-- Female 2 Male

[ramyap]

[tscii:33ef142941]The idea of this story came to me while chatting with my friend.
She was telling one of her cousin’s class mate was avoided by all the girls in her class.
The reason is she behaved as if she is a Trans gendered. She was behaving as if she was a boy and this made all girls to avoid her, she/he cannot mingle with guys also because of her body features which resembled as a girl.

This pushed me to write this story.In this community there is large number of people who are transgender.
Among them recognized ones where mostly male who have changed into a female.
But the awareness and handling of FTM(female to male ) transition people is very less.
Let this story does that job.[/tscii:33ef142941]

[ramyap]

[tscii:6fd8635836]Chapter 1:Selfishness -- Foolishness

I am Maya from one of the undeveloped villages of India. My mom or dad hadn’t educated me much, we are lots of sisters and brothers all were struggling for daily food and yearly clothes.

I was just waiting for my dream man to come and take over me to a heaven as I was having an admiring figure and physique.

I never cared about my parent’s poverty or pitied towards them.
All I wished was to get myself settle in a rich place. I don’t know at that time, god has a lesson for me to get rid of all my selfishness.

I found a suitable venue for all my desires through Mahesh. He was not a good looking guy but he was a very talented one. He was having his own department shop in Chennai. He just had a visit to our village to settle his grandfather’s property issues.

First day I met him, when he was asking for an address over there. In that sight it self I realized his special caring and affection towards me. There were lots of guys wandering, but he asked me alone. But I am not impressed at his look. He was black having a huge body with a very less height.

Of course any girl who is dreaming about a king would not like him. But within the time, we reached the address he is searching for he reached my heart through his wonderful speech and behaviors.

Not even a single second he was wasting. He was keep on enquiring about the trees and herbs available in the path way. He was even helping a small boy to lift his water bucket, helping a small girl to fetch her mango. He even was providing water for an elder man from his bag. These all he would have done to impress me as I was young and charming then, having enough to attract a young man like him.

My family was financially very drowning at those times. My father was suffering from blood cancer. He is about to die. Doctors have told him not to work any more. All my sisters and brothers were very much younger to me except the one next to me—Raja. Raja was 4 years younger to me and he was in his fourteens, rest all were below 10 years.

But I strictly told to my mom that I cannot come to work for daily wages and all. I am going to be a queen and one king/prince will come to take me. This all happened because of the people around me who have over explained my beauty and made me to feel over pride.

The things happened so fast that in 2 months gap Mahesh often visited our village and we get close to each other in every meet both physically and mentally. In the mean while my father had died and my mom was struggling to save her 7 children from hunger.

My mind was totally involved in love and romance with Mahesh and I left with Mahesh one day without informing or caring for any one. I don’t know that fate will make me to realize all my mistakes through its play on a later day.

What all the points I put on my side to feel myself right were
--if I was with this family I had to work until my younger sister who is 2 years old settles in life.
-- I can never think about the luxury or comfortable life I am wishing for myself

Because of these selfish thoughts of an elder sister of a family, the family won’t drown; instead one golden character boy has emerged and served as a brother to them.[/tscii:6fd8635836]

[ramyap]

[tscii:0c494e1fea]Chapter 2:FAILING TO GIVE IMPORTANCE TO CHILDRNS THOGHTS LEAD TO DISTUCTION

It is me Maya again. Life is going smooth for myself and Mahesh and today is 3rd birthday of our daughter Lakshya. She started talking very fine. She is very cute, smart with extra ordinary skills over her age.
She always used to fight with her brother Rathesh.She used to go to play with him. We are so happy, especially Mahesh when she has born.


When Mahesh parents also apposed our marriage we fought with every one and came to live separately. I thought all I wished had come to my life and enriched.

We invited all our friends and neighbors to celebrate Lakshya’s birthday in a grand manner. Mahesh has brought her a beautiful pink skirt with dazzling works embedded in it. We thought we can give her it as a surprise. We bought new jeans with a nice top for Rathesh also.

Because, we are showing all our love to this little angle, she has become very adamant now-a-days. All the guests have come for the party, but she is still refusing to put her new clothes. She is telling repeatedly that she will wear Rathesh dresses only. At last she celebrated her birthday in male dress only.

Lakshya always seemed to be interested in climbing tress, running and jumping everywhere, playing football kind of stuffs.
When I bought her some toys or cooking models to play she never even touched them. I was even upset. Mahesh only consoled me by telling as don’t treat our daughter as a rural girl. She is modern and is trying to compete with guys for everything. You should be really pride of that only he said.

I am not a graduate. I have discontinued my schooling too in the middle. Inspite of all this I am a very young mother. I am just 25 now and have to learn a lot about this world. Mahesh was always in his shop busy with his works.
The first problem came when we went to join her in the school. In the house she always used to wear her brothers dresses which no one found as a big issue, since she is a small girl. But for school also she refused to wear the phenol form dress. She is refusing to wear that and go to school.
There also she needs Rathesh dresses.

This is where Mahesh got too much angry on our little daughter. He tried to convince her by telling that she will be looking beautiful in that blue frock.
Then Mahesh started scolding her, I tried to stop him. But he stopped me telling it is because of my over dearness she has become adamant.

Still she refused finally he lapsed her and put that uniform over her. There started a big fight between me and Mahesh which never has occurred in our 7 years of marriage.

I cannot bear the finger print marks of his hand in my little baby’s cheeks. I started fighting with Mahesh forgetting that our little children were there. But Mahesh dragged her all the way and dropped her in school.

After an hour or back, I got a call from the school. They started something like is lakshya and Rathesh your children. My heart started beating faster.
God what happened to both of them, Mahesh was driving the bike rash in anger. The principal called me to come to school immediately. My heart beat was fast again, still I managed and asked is there any problem.

She told me “yes there is a problem. Can you just come here; we cannot explain them to you.” She was shouting in anger she never had the patience to listen to my words. I tried calling Mahesh, but he is also not picking up the phone because of morning problem.

I rushed to the school taking an auto. Thank god my children were save there. But what is this Lakshya was without her dress. Nearly all the staffs of that school were there struggling and making her to wear the frock.

I understood what is happening, as because Mahesh has beaten her and made her wear that uniform which she doesn’t like she is establishing her adamant here.

Now I too got angry and also I felt like in front of every one she is spoiling my name. To add fuel to my burning fire, that principal started ordering,” see Mam if your daughter behaves likes this; take her to your home itself. We don’t want such indecent and dirty students”.

Everything happens in just a moment of tongue slip na, I also started shouting at her, “You are the teachers you have to make students learn decency. If you itself behave like this indecent then how come the students learn decency.”

I too slashed two on Lakshya’s back and have taken her back to home.
She was crying all the day. But I don’t felt like consoling her as I needed some one to console me.

The first day when Rathesh went to school, her teacher was praising him as very intelligent boy and grasping everything easily.
He is neat and good, but today the same teacher is cursing her because of this little doll.

The next day rolled without me or Mahesh talking even a single word. In the night Rathesh only came to inform me Lakshya was shivering with fever. Then we rushed to hospital. Thus a silly problem has grown into a big issue.
The doctor started scolding us, is this the way you parents will behave to a child? You both are beating her to whom the child will go for care.

Lakshya has been admitted in the hospital for 3 days her fever seemed to be going on increase. Even in sleep she was mourning as I don’t like that dress.

Her situation was going worse and I went and hugged Mahesh and started crying. He too was totally upset, it was the 4th day after which he was talking to me.

Don’t worry Maya; nothing will happen to our daughter. She will definitely get rid of it. We were praying all the gods and even Lakshyas teacher who has scolded her has come to hospital to see her.

All the children got pity over her and this is how Maya become popular in her school in just a half an hour entry.

All the innocent kids’ prayer and our wish, Lakshya has become normal and she returned to home. She was on leave for school nearly one week.[/tscii:0c494e1fea]

[Wibha]

good going :)

but sad :(

[ramyap]

good going :)

but sad :(

will try to insert some happiness also.
:D

[ramyap]

[tscii:cd246a230f]Chapter 3:TALENTS SUPPRESSED IN LACK OF SPONSORS Now we are so feared to ask her to go to school in that particular uniform. So we talked to the principal, after seeing Lakshya in that strange stage she too agreed to lose her rules. At last Lakshya started going to school in Rathesh uniforms. She is very happy after getting those pant and trouser to wear.

The teachers advised me it may be because from childhood you used to wear her brother’s dress to Lakshya so she started liking them and feeling comfortable with them. Slowly the days are returning normal. We thought if lakshya used to mingle with other girls in school then she also will start wearing their dress.

Lakshya is always extraordinary in everything. She excelled in studies and sports which made everyone else to forget about her dress. She went to Karate and swimming classes along with Rathesh. She used to go to daily jog with Mahesh. Day by day she started growing more muscular and brainy. Every body started talking about her talents.

Now days our joy knew no bounds. At the age of 5 when she got her karate black belt entire nation got surprised. At the age of 7 she gets the offer to participate in the AAU National Karate Championship through her extraordinary performance.

Though she has got only 4th place in the AAU National Karate, a little girl from one of the small villages of India has come to that level has surprised the entire nation.

But I too have a fear; it is said children who are achieving at very young age fails in their later ages. We are rarely getting any sponsors for Lakshya.
My husband was remembering me of Kuraleeswaran who had become a sensation in long distance swimming after breaking Mihir Sen's record of crossing five channels. Kutral swam six channels in 1994 and was included in the Guinness Book of World Records. He was only 13 then.

But what has happened to his future, he just stopped swimming for lack of sponsors and now working as one among a hardware engineer with Intel in California. Nothing is heard of Rupali Rephale, another swimming star who had crossed many channels in the world.

So Mahesh was insisting repeatedly studies are more important to Lakshya than anything else. In a country like India where we won’t get sponsors for any games expect India, it is really tough to go behind these types of sports.

But I cannot agree with him, but at the same time cannot disagree with him also. We have almost lost all of our savings and our own house in this one year spending for Lakshya’s coaching and sending her to out of country competitions.

Lakshya was not even going to school for the last one year practicing herself in the karate. Her aim seemed to be fully winning the first place and nothing else.

Mahesh is slowly changing now days. Though he is very caring and encouraging father after losing all the money he is totally upset. He doesn’t want Lakshya to involve in any more Karate or sports as he cannot spend from his pocket.

So this is second innings in Lakshya’s life, we started insisting her to go to school again and not for any karate coaching classes. Further all our neighbors started brushing us up with the thought she is a young child so it does not matter whether she is a girl or boy in participating in karate.

But in a country like India, girls going into such a field are never /rarely encouraged.

So stepping in to her 8th age, Lakhsya has been stopped from participating in any competitions, truly saying we are not financial that much strong to support her. Lakshya has just completed her kinder garden where they agreed for her to wear boy’s dress. After that she left school and was totally involved in karate where she hardly happens to expose herself as a girl. She has grown stronger and with great stuff.[/tscii:cd246a230f]

[ramyap]

[tscii:b237d5adff]Chapter 4:LACK OF KNOWLEDGE
Again we went to the same school where she did her kinder garden and Rathesh was pursuing his studies. This time we got a great welcome from the principal she wholeheartedly ready to accept Lakshya now a famous girl.
We thought now days she has grown enough and she won’t be adamant like wearing pants and all.
But she never agreed to that this time also. Further she started arguing with us why you are compelling me to wear a girls dress. While Rathesh is wearing pants why should not I. You are not allowing me to participate any coaching or competitions, I can tolerate that as you people are not financial strong.

But what is the problem with you people if I wear pants. What is the difference between me and Rathesh you are finding?

Really, I got too confused how come I can explain to this little children the difference between a girl and a boy. Really it is terrible. Yet I have to do.

I started explaining her, “See Lakshya in Gods creature there are 2 different types of people created. One is male and another is female.
Females are like me who will have to carry a child and give birth to it. I know all this were too much for an 8 year old girl. But other than sexual organs how can I point out her the difference between a girl and boy.

But her face has blacked out. She is asking in a pale face,”So do I need to carry a baby in my stomach?”
What can I do, I simply hugged her with me and kissed her. She my child there is no difference between you and Rathesh both of you are my children.
But you are a girl you have born with a girl’s body, so you have to follow all the girl’s characters features.

But she is not agreeing, she keeps on telling I am not a girl mom, I am also a boy like Rathesh. Have I ever had interest in wearing all this color jewels or girls’ dresses or flowers like you or our neighbor girls? I am always interested in playing with Rathesh and other boys and I always wish to wear pants and all.

Then why you are telling me as a girl, I am not a girl, I am a boy. This is her only reply. After confusing a lot myself, I came to a conclusion. Ok late I first make her clear what is a male and what is a female. Then all her problems of wearing girl’s uniform, sitting with girls everything will be solved.

So I took her to a zoo. I showed her the difference between a hen and cock.
Peacock and its pair, lion, elephant. Thus I showed her in every creature in this world there are two and similarly she is a female.

No mother in this world would have encountered this much difficulty I think. Finally she accepted that she has born with a girls body, but yet she was telling mom, I am wearing this girl’s uniform just to satisfy you and you only and not for any thing else.

I just got relaxed, so my child’s problem is ending with this. I even thought of putting into a girls alone school. I even discussed with her, but she again started insisting, I am not a girl mom as because you wish me to wear this dress, just to satisfy you I am wearing this.

Day by day she is growing one by one the problems coming. One day I saw Rathesh is beating her. Rathesh is having a lot of love towards her dear sister. He will usually give up anything for her. When I asked him the reason, he was telling that Lakshya was using gent’s toilet in the school. All the elder boys studying with Rathesh are teasing her and him. But yet she is going to gent’s toilet only.

Really now I am very much shocked. I thought the problem with lakshya is she wishes to wear pants only. But it does not seem to be such simple.
But I am also not much educated. I have threatened her not to use guy’s toilet. If she continues doing so, I will move her into a girl’s only school. This is the only thing she feared that time. But If I am little much educated or has worldly knowledge I would have found out the root cause of the problem and would have tried to solve that.

Now, what happened is my little girl is not at all going urine. She just waits for coming to home and then only passing urine. I told her it is bad for health but she started telling as I am not a girl how come I will go to a girl’s toilet.

[/tscii:b237d5adff]

[Shakthiprabha.]

Very disturbing subject.

Appreciate ur bravery to write a story on this.

[ramyap]

Very disturbing subject.

Appreciate ur bravery to write a story on this.

Thank u akka.
actually i don't want to put something as mere entertainment.I want something which can make people to think at least sometime.

[madhu]

Ramya.

you are handling the delicate subject very nicely. I appreciate your effort to bring out the dilemma and unnoticed feelings of
those people, who doesnt know what Nature has given and why ?

Please continue..

[crazy]

veryyyyyyyyyyyyyy interesting...

yen niruthitteenga.....pls continue :)

[chevy]

Hmmm...... Good attempt. Trying the shoes of those who don't have shoes made particularly for their gender? Keep them coming !