chevy
3rd November 2006, 04:10 PM
[tscii:fa09557bce]The Woman from Before...
It was probably his longest walk. He had covered most of Central London. Shanmugam’s first week in London wasn’t as exciting as he had anticipated. He missed the noisy and dirty streets of Chennai. He missed his educated and “Cheri” friends. According to his mom, “Cheri” boys were the unsophisticated lot who always failed and it was a standing instruction that he wasn’t supposed to be seen with them. His mom threw glances of despair and disgust when she saw her son with the boys whom she’d classified as “Cheri”. But over the years she got accustomed to seeing him with them.
Probably because of his inferiority complex, his poor marks, or his love for freedom and fun, he liked the “Cheri” boys better. He thought he was one two. The only difference was in one mark. He would have just passed. Also, he was caught in a predicament because the sophisticated boys wouldn’t accept him because of his low marks and the “Cheri” boys thought he was “Pazham” because he had passed. Finally, he fitted in the “Cheri” group of boys and grew up with them. Shanmugam’s parents’ agony ended only when he’d got placed in a decent company and they were delighted to hear about his transfer to London. Shanmugam would’ve kept the matter out of discussion but one of his friends spilt the news at home out of excitement.
With no other choice, he packed and left for London with a heavy heart. It seemed to him that his mom had finally won in separating him from his dear “Cheri” gang.
They had all the chances of great success and there was no reason why his mom had to classify them as “cheri”. For example, they outdid other men in many ways.
In sports, they had many self-invented games that they played. But the most popular one was “knock-out”. Knock-out was a cool game that tested and improved your aiming skills. The game was simple. Cigar covers were placed and they would try knocking it out with a stone. Gold Flake was very hard to come by so if you knocked one of them you won twenty points! Scissors was just ten points
The one with the maximum points at the end of the day wins. Participation-spirit was easily developed in this game. It required fagging a few packs so that the game could be played. So, Their sportsmanship was unbeatable. “Winning is not important, participation is”.
They were great event managers. They could arrange parties in a jiffy. Biryani from the Bhai at the end of the street and the rest from the Muniandi Villas, which was this open, multi cuisine restaurant by the side of the road. They could get any hall in the city booked for any program with their extensive “cheri’ contacts.
Not to mention their research and development skills. Unlike the other boys who wanted to study hard and get good jobs so that they could buy expensive cars and live a luxurious life, the “Cheri” gang developed their own range of automobiles.
Firstly the open space “eco-friend” vehicle. This automobile ran on man power and caused no pollution. It had been of conventional use in the previous decades but had run on animal power, called “mattu-vandi” in Tamil.
Secondly they used a low cost, energy saving vehicle. It was the “stick-tire”. Basically it was a tire that was made to roll with a stick. The driver burnt calories and developed a healthy body. The “cheri” gang had used the stick-tire very often and this resulted in the “cheri” boys developing from small, skinny boys to men with great physiques.
His unsophisticated but lively childhood memories filled his mind often. As a software engineer probably he would have done better in United States. No, not because our Shanmugam would have found US more exciting than Chennai. It was just because software engineers did better in US and also because many of his college mates were there.
Shanmugam never understood the eccentric ways of his neighbors and colleagues in London. One day his team leader,Ernst popped his head in, “Hey Shan, join us for lunch”
“No lunch with you saar. I brought my lemon rice.”
“What? Yeman rice?”
“Yeman rice, no. Lemon. Lemon. Gals rub sugar and lemon on the face to make soft face. “yel” saar not “whyee” .
“Uh-oh. Lemon. Sorry. How do you make it?”
“ Saar. First boil rice saar. Then put some ghee and squeeze lemon on it saar. Then sprinkle salt and turmeric and th...”
“Turmeric?”
“Yes. Turmeric saar. You don’t know turmeric saar. It will prevent insects and worms to enter your intestines.”
“Uh?”
“Ya. Even gals wash their face with it to keep it germ-free. It prevents facial growth saar. So you mix that with the rice saari and ...”
“Wait!! And you actually eat this yeman .. sorry lemon rice.”
“Yes saar. You can taste also.”
“Uh. No. I don’t feel like eating today.”
“Huh! What does a cow know about lemon rice?”, thought Shamugam.
He had some managed to cook for himself. Eating out was an expensive option. In the beginning he had considered it lucky to have an Indian housemate. He now regretted it. His roommate was, unfortunately another Tamil guy, Vijay and he was the “sophisticated” kind. He wasn’t of much help. Shanmugam felt he’d probably feel less lonely in solitary confinement than staying with this obnoxious housemate.
His long walk reminded him of his fun filled past, lifeless present and uncertain future.
He first went to the closest mansion tube station. Later, he changed his mind, decided to not use the tube and got back to the street. He walked along an abstract road. He didn’t take the map he had got from Vijay nor had he the least idea where to go. All he knew he was doing is- walking. Simply because he didn’t have anything else to do.
He had no clue how he got there, but when he did, he realized he was crossing the London Bridge. He tried to think why it was called the London Bridge. He didn’t find anything special in it. All that came to his mind was the kindergarten rhyme “ London bridge is falling down ...”.
After that, he hit upon another tourist spot “The monument”. Again he didn’t find anything great. It was a tower with the top accessible.
Sometime during his walk Vijay had rung up. “Try the “tower bridge”. Got to see it man.
Finally he braced himself for a spectacular sight and walked towards the Tower Bridge. A massive construction and beautifully maintained. Shanmugam spent an hour around the on and near the place.
When he started walking back, he decided he’d keep the “London Eye” as his last stop and then get home. He walked , crossed the London bridge, Southwark Bridge , The milleniul bridge, Blackfriars bridge, Embankment pier and there he was at London Eye.which was nothing but a huge wheel and the riding on it was still pending.
It was a Sunday. He suddenly changed his mind to cover as much as possible and then return home. His next destination was Westminster So he walked again and finally reached the Westminster Bridge. He was amused looking at the Clock tower. Unlike in India, the clock was still working. He kept walking and passed the Westminister Abbey and St. Jame’s Park.
It was getting late so he started walking towards his apartment. He had accosted many people on the way for directions. It was dark and the street lamps were on. Vijay rang up to ask if he’d get home by tonight. Shanmugam didn’t want him to think he was lost. “I will reach home some minutes. You do not wait.”
“ Hey dude, don’t get lost okay. Where are you, should I come and pick you. Dude I am free only.”
“No I am okay. I know where I am and how I will come home. Don’t worry.”
“Sure? Don’t get into any cathedral or monument just like that okay? You told me you wanted to explore the malls or towers right? See some monuments in England are haunted. I don’t believe in this myself but never take the risk. I’ll take you for sightseeing another day. If you want to go alone , go to these towers and bridges or go for shopping but not the monuments. There are loads of small sites where tourists go. It’s worth seeing but not worth risking your life. We’ll take Bob. He knows this place in and out. Where are you n..”
“Listen. I come home myself. I know where I go. Don’t worry.”
“Hmmph. Okay. Take care. One doubt. How do your collegues understand what you speak? Seriously. How can people send you here? They usually send people with very fluent English.”
“That you clear doubt with my boss. Now bye.”
Huh. Why the hell should one listen to this chap. He walked on. The street lamps were dim than usual. Soon he realized he was just a few streets away from home. From the distance he could see the Balzac Steakhouse was still brimming with customers. He walked past a curiousity shop and a pub. A girl with a red sweatshirt brushed past hurriedly. “Isn’t she the diner girl?” , thought Shanmugam. The Jesterette Diner was closed for the weekend. Why was this girl in her uniform?
He followed her down the street. She took short but quick steps and he found he was literally running behind her. He didn’t even notice whether he was turning right or left. He was sure he’d take ages to trace his way back home. He wondered if she was running because she thought he was following her. He slowed down his pace making sure he won’ t lose her.
Shanmugam had followed her for more than fifteen minutes. He didn’t know why he was so inquisitive. But he didn’t feel like turning back and walking home either. She looked young and he knew she lived just a few blocks away from the Diner. Where was she going, that too alone, at this time of the evening ?
Shanmugam’s heart bet faster when he saw her walk into a gate with “PRIVATE PROPERTY” printed boldly across. It was a torn down building and looked like no one had lived in it for several decades. He quietly followed her into it. He considered turning back and walking home. But his feet wouldn’t turn. He walked slowly and noiselessly behind the girl. She quietly slid the door open and walked in. He could see the door was not locked. It didn’t have a lock actually. He tiptoed across the lawn and slid in behind. He fished out his mobile phone and switched on the built in light.
“Girl???? You there??? It’s late. What are you doing here???”
Silence.
“ I saw you coming in.... You should be going home..”
Silence.
“Can you hear me?”
There was no moon and the street lights were too dim. The mobile light had gone off. Just as he was switching it on again, a strong wind blew through the open windows. Dry leaves from the unmaintained garden outside flew in. The wind almost blew him down. His mobile fell from his hand and the door had shut!!
“Don’t go anywhere just like that... Some monuments in England are haunted...”
Vijay’s voice echoed in his mind.
Shanmugam knelt to search for his mobile phone. A dim light shone above his head. On the floor he saw his shadow. Above his head was a candlestick with a slim candle wickering over it. He could see the shadow of a hand holding the candlestick. His heart bet faster as he turned around to see who it was. Not the Diner girl. A Middle aged lady. Wearing a pale-coloured flowy robe. She smiled gently, “Hello. How art thou?”
“Huh?”
“Are you from my past or my future?”
“Huh. Sorry. I think the diner girl come here. Small girl. Not safe going alone now. I think I’ll take her home. You see a small girl coming here?”
“Alas, no. This house is mine. Nobody else resides here.I’ve been here alone ever since I died years ago?”
“Huh?”
Shanmugam panicked and tried to look down to see if the woman had feet. In the darkness he couldn’t see anything.
“How come I see you then?”
“Are you my past or future?”
“I living man. Mummy and Daddy in Chennai. I working here. Don’t do anything to me. I go now.”
“Oh boy. You are alive? My future? You all are so much better of than us. Sit down please.”
“I go. My housemate knows no cooking. I go cooking for him. I leaving.”
“Sit! Down! Now!”
Shanmugam trembled as he sat on an antique chair.
“So how is the future?”
“I don’t know my future.”
“Ah! I meant my future. How’s life in today’s world?”
“I living nicely. I don’t know how you living no?”
“Oh okay. Anyway since my death after a long time I am meeting a person alive. Mostly, I am visited by my dead friends. They get bored and wander from one house to another. I don’t want to share my house with any other ghost. I’d rather stay with a living human. It’s interesting to watch what you people do. I feel it’s not right to barge into someone’s house and they’ll get frightened that it’s haunted. I’d like to have a living housemate. Where do you live?”
“I...live close by. With my friend. I need to go now. Friend is waiting.”
“Oh come on. I am sure you can allow me to stay with you right?”
“No. No. You dead. My house only for livings. I and my housemate Vijay scared to live with ghosts.”
“Oh come on. I shall make you fluent in English. I’ll be a good companion. Your housemate will never know. I am a nice friend, am I not?”
A saggy, ghastly face neared Shanmugam with an inquisitive look.
“I don’t knows”, Shanmugam trembled.
“It will be fine I assure you. How much do you earn? I don’t need anything from you. Just asking, being a friend I can ask right?”
“Why you want knowing all that?”
“Well, if you don’t want to tell I shall not insist. Does your house have many rooms? Will I get one for myself? There will be fewer disturbances then.”
“You don’t come only. I scared. Vijay scared. My house not nice place. It is not big.”
“See, I promise you, I will be of great help. You’ll never regret this decision in your life. I can even shoo your house mate away if he is disturbing you too much. I can keep your house safe. I can communicate with you whenever you want. I can make people behave with you the way you want it. Like that?”
“Hmmm. Okay. I will see.”
“Does your house have a kitchenette?”
“Kitchen only no? Yah. It is there. Why you don’t need to eat anyway?”
“Is there a WC?”
“WC?”
“Yeah”
Shanmugam’s limited knowledge of the English language had embarrassed him more than once. But he didn’t want to give in this time.He tried to break his head thinking. WC? He thought as much as he could and pondered over all possible meanings of WC and finally concluded that it stood for “Wayside Chapel”. Of course what else would an English lady, err... English ghost want to know about. More over she was a spirit, she’d certainly be concerned about one. Not knowing much about London, he wasn’t quite sure about the number of churches close to house. But there was one, he remembered Vijay talking about it. In fact their neighbor, Mr. Clarke was talking about his daughter’s marriage to be held there.
So, that’s that. WC is Wayside Chapel. Shanmugam proudly cleared his throat and began,
“Yah. There is one WC close to my house. I am new to London, no? So I don’t know. I have not been to a WC yet. My housemate tell me that it is walking distance only. But many people go there often. So it will be crowded no? So you should go early. But there is lot of standing room I hear from Vijay. In fact my neighbor’s daughter getting married there only. She met her future husband there only. How interesting no?”
The lady from before stared at Shanmugam. Her face sank into a meaningless expression.
Shanmugam thought the lady was astonished at his fluent pace. Astonished? Impressed! That must be it. She was impressed. Shanmugam had to build up more.
“Hey, I have been to a WC in India. In Chennai? You know Chennai? I am from there only. My closest friend’s sister got married in one so I went. It was a small wedding only. Not many people but at least ten in each seat. Everybody was very happy. Even I was, my friend’s sister is also my sister no? It was very nice to see the expression on their faces.”
The woman from before was speechless.
Shanmugam went on with pride. The build up was not enough.
“But my girlfriend couldn’t come to the WC as she was ill then. She is still not okay. It has been almost a year since she went to a WC, which pains her greatly.”
The body less woman began to fade.
Shanmugam boldly went on,
“You will be pleased to last know that many people bring their lunch and make a day of it. Others prefer to wait till the last minute and arrive just in time! Stupid people no? But the WC near my house, I thinks you go on a Thursday because I hear from Vijay that on Thursdays there is an organ accompaniment. The acoustics are excellent and even the most delicate sounds can be heard everywhere.”
Shanmugam suddenly realized that the woman from before had completely gone out of sight. She had dissolved into thin air. Shanmugam called out,
“You there lady? Don’t worry. It is crowed usually but you are a ghost only so you should have no problem. Where you? Even otherwise I am there no? I can’t take you often. So it will only be a problem if you have a problem of going very often. But once a week I promise. You there?”
The confused Shanmugam turned around and felt for the door in the darkness and when he found it he slid out and began walking home.
EPILOGUE
The ghost, belonged to an age when English was spoken differently. It was called “Early modern English”. Then ( in some places, even now) , WC stood for Water closet. The English commonly referred to a bathroom as a water closet. The blood thirsty ghost had been in the idea of amusing herself with a conversation before quenching herself. But the alarming and appalling ways in which the people of today used a water closet had frightened her out of her soul. She went in search of her relative spirits to check out their living descendants. REGARDS - chevy.
[/tscii:fa09557bce]
It was probably his longest walk. He had covered most of Central London. Shanmugam’s first week in London wasn’t as exciting as he had anticipated. He missed the noisy and dirty streets of Chennai. He missed his educated and “Cheri” friends. According to his mom, “Cheri” boys were the unsophisticated lot who always failed and it was a standing instruction that he wasn’t supposed to be seen with them. His mom threw glances of despair and disgust when she saw her son with the boys whom she’d classified as “Cheri”. But over the years she got accustomed to seeing him with them.
Probably because of his inferiority complex, his poor marks, or his love for freedom and fun, he liked the “Cheri” boys better. He thought he was one two. The only difference was in one mark. He would have just passed. Also, he was caught in a predicament because the sophisticated boys wouldn’t accept him because of his low marks and the “Cheri” boys thought he was “Pazham” because he had passed. Finally, he fitted in the “Cheri” group of boys and grew up with them. Shanmugam’s parents’ agony ended only when he’d got placed in a decent company and they were delighted to hear about his transfer to London. Shanmugam would’ve kept the matter out of discussion but one of his friends spilt the news at home out of excitement.
With no other choice, he packed and left for London with a heavy heart. It seemed to him that his mom had finally won in separating him from his dear “Cheri” gang.
They had all the chances of great success and there was no reason why his mom had to classify them as “cheri”. For example, they outdid other men in many ways.
In sports, they had many self-invented games that they played. But the most popular one was “knock-out”. Knock-out was a cool game that tested and improved your aiming skills. The game was simple. Cigar covers were placed and they would try knocking it out with a stone. Gold Flake was very hard to come by so if you knocked one of them you won twenty points! Scissors was just ten points
The one with the maximum points at the end of the day wins. Participation-spirit was easily developed in this game. It required fagging a few packs so that the game could be played. So, Their sportsmanship was unbeatable. “Winning is not important, participation is”.
They were great event managers. They could arrange parties in a jiffy. Biryani from the Bhai at the end of the street and the rest from the Muniandi Villas, which was this open, multi cuisine restaurant by the side of the road. They could get any hall in the city booked for any program with their extensive “cheri’ contacts.
Not to mention their research and development skills. Unlike the other boys who wanted to study hard and get good jobs so that they could buy expensive cars and live a luxurious life, the “Cheri” gang developed their own range of automobiles.
Firstly the open space “eco-friend” vehicle. This automobile ran on man power and caused no pollution. It had been of conventional use in the previous decades but had run on animal power, called “mattu-vandi” in Tamil.
Secondly they used a low cost, energy saving vehicle. It was the “stick-tire”. Basically it was a tire that was made to roll with a stick. The driver burnt calories and developed a healthy body. The “cheri” gang had used the stick-tire very often and this resulted in the “cheri” boys developing from small, skinny boys to men with great physiques.
His unsophisticated but lively childhood memories filled his mind often. As a software engineer probably he would have done better in United States. No, not because our Shanmugam would have found US more exciting than Chennai. It was just because software engineers did better in US and also because many of his college mates were there.
Shanmugam never understood the eccentric ways of his neighbors and colleagues in London. One day his team leader,Ernst popped his head in, “Hey Shan, join us for lunch”
“No lunch with you saar. I brought my lemon rice.”
“What? Yeman rice?”
“Yeman rice, no. Lemon. Lemon. Gals rub sugar and lemon on the face to make soft face. “yel” saar not “whyee” .
“Uh-oh. Lemon. Sorry. How do you make it?”
“ Saar. First boil rice saar. Then put some ghee and squeeze lemon on it saar. Then sprinkle salt and turmeric and th...”
“Turmeric?”
“Yes. Turmeric saar. You don’t know turmeric saar. It will prevent insects and worms to enter your intestines.”
“Uh?”
“Ya. Even gals wash their face with it to keep it germ-free. It prevents facial growth saar. So you mix that with the rice saari and ...”
“Wait!! And you actually eat this yeman .. sorry lemon rice.”
“Yes saar. You can taste also.”
“Uh. No. I don’t feel like eating today.”
“Huh! What does a cow know about lemon rice?”, thought Shamugam.
He had some managed to cook for himself. Eating out was an expensive option. In the beginning he had considered it lucky to have an Indian housemate. He now regretted it. His roommate was, unfortunately another Tamil guy, Vijay and he was the “sophisticated” kind. He wasn’t of much help. Shanmugam felt he’d probably feel less lonely in solitary confinement than staying with this obnoxious housemate.
His long walk reminded him of his fun filled past, lifeless present and uncertain future.
He first went to the closest mansion tube station. Later, he changed his mind, decided to not use the tube and got back to the street. He walked along an abstract road. He didn’t take the map he had got from Vijay nor had he the least idea where to go. All he knew he was doing is- walking. Simply because he didn’t have anything else to do.
He had no clue how he got there, but when he did, he realized he was crossing the London Bridge. He tried to think why it was called the London Bridge. He didn’t find anything special in it. All that came to his mind was the kindergarten rhyme “ London bridge is falling down ...”.
After that, he hit upon another tourist spot “The monument”. Again he didn’t find anything great. It was a tower with the top accessible.
Sometime during his walk Vijay had rung up. “Try the “tower bridge”. Got to see it man.
Finally he braced himself for a spectacular sight and walked towards the Tower Bridge. A massive construction and beautifully maintained. Shanmugam spent an hour around the on and near the place.
When he started walking back, he decided he’d keep the “London Eye” as his last stop and then get home. He walked , crossed the London bridge, Southwark Bridge , The milleniul bridge, Blackfriars bridge, Embankment pier and there he was at London Eye.which was nothing but a huge wheel and the riding on it was still pending.
It was a Sunday. He suddenly changed his mind to cover as much as possible and then return home. His next destination was Westminster So he walked again and finally reached the Westminster Bridge. He was amused looking at the Clock tower. Unlike in India, the clock was still working. He kept walking and passed the Westminister Abbey and St. Jame’s Park.
It was getting late so he started walking towards his apartment. He had accosted many people on the way for directions. It was dark and the street lamps were on. Vijay rang up to ask if he’d get home by tonight. Shanmugam didn’t want him to think he was lost. “I will reach home some minutes. You do not wait.”
“ Hey dude, don’t get lost okay. Where are you, should I come and pick you. Dude I am free only.”
“No I am okay. I know where I am and how I will come home. Don’t worry.”
“Sure? Don’t get into any cathedral or monument just like that okay? You told me you wanted to explore the malls or towers right? See some monuments in England are haunted. I don’t believe in this myself but never take the risk. I’ll take you for sightseeing another day. If you want to go alone , go to these towers and bridges or go for shopping but not the monuments. There are loads of small sites where tourists go. It’s worth seeing but not worth risking your life. We’ll take Bob. He knows this place in and out. Where are you n..”
“Listen. I come home myself. I know where I go. Don’t worry.”
“Hmmph. Okay. Take care. One doubt. How do your collegues understand what you speak? Seriously. How can people send you here? They usually send people with very fluent English.”
“That you clear doubt with my boss. Now bye.”
Huh. Why the hell should one listen to this chap. He walked on. The street lamps were dim than usual. Soon he realized he was just a few streets away from home. From the distance he could see the Balzac Steakhouse was still brimming with customers. He walked past a curiousity shop and a pub. A girl with a red sweatshirt brushed past hurriedly. “Isn’t she the diner girl?” , thought Shanmugam. The Jesterette Diner was closed for the weekend. Why was this girl in her uniform?
He followed her down the street. She took short but quick steps and he found he was literally running behind her. He didn’t even notice whether he was turning right or left. He was sure he’d take ages to trace his way back home. He wondered if she was running because she thought he was following her. He slowed down his pace making sure he won’ t lose her.
Shanmugam had followed her for more than fifteen minutes. He didn’t know why he was so inquisitive. But he didn’t feel like turning back and walking home either. She looked young and he knew she lived just a few blocks away from the Diner. Where was she going, that too alone, at this time of the evening ?
Shanmugam’s heart bet faster when he saw her walk into a gate with “PRIVATE PROPERTY” printed boldly across. It was a torn down building and looked like no one had lived in it for several decades. He quietly followed her into it. He considered turning back and walking home. But his feet wouldn’t turn. He walked slowly and noiselessly behind the girl. She quietly slid the door open and walked in. He could see the door was not locked. It didn’t have a lock actually. He tiptoed across the lawn and slid in behind. He fished out his mobile phone and switched on the built in light.
“Girl???? You there??? It’s late. What are you doing here???”
Silence.
“ I saw you coming in.... You should be going home..”
Silence.
“Can you hear me?”
There was no moon and the street lights were too dim. The mobile light had gone off. Just as he was switching it on again, a strong wind blew through the open windows. Dry leaves from the unmaintained garden outside flew in. The wind almost blew him down. His mobile fell from his hand and the door had shut!!
“Don’t go anywhere just like that... Some monuments in England are haunted...”
Vijay’s voice echoed in his mind.
Shanmugam knelt to search for his mobile phone. A dim light shone above his head. On the floor he saw his shadow. Above his head was a candlestick with a slim candle wickering over it. He could see the shadow of a hand holding the candlestick. His heart bet faster as he turned around to see who it was. Not the Diner girl. A Middle aged lady. Wearing a pale-coloured flowy robe. She smiled gently, “Hello. How art thou?”
“Huh?”
“Are you from my past or my future?”
“Huh. Sorry. I think the diner girl come here. Small girl. Not safe going alone now. I think I’ll take her home. You see a small girl coming here?”
“Alas, no. This house is mine. Nobody else resides here.I’ve been here alone ever since I died years ago?”
“Huh?”
Shanmugam panicked and tried to look down to see if the woman had feet. In the darkness he couldn’t see anything.
“How come I see you then?”
“Are you my past or future?”
“I living man. Mummy and Daddy in Chennai. I working here. Don’t do anything to me. I go now.”
“Oh boy. You are alive? My future? You all are so much better of than us. Sit down please.”
“I go. My housemate knows no cooking. I go cooking for him. I leaving.”
“Sit! Down! Now!”
Shanmugam trembled as he sat on an antique chair.
“So how is the future?”
“I don’t know my future.”
“Ah! I meant my future. How’s life in today’s world?”
“I living nicely. I don’t know how you living no?”
“Oh okay. Anyway since my death after a long time I am meeting a person alive. Mostly, I am visited by my dead friends. They get bored and wander from one house to another. I don’t want to share my house with any other ghost. I’d rather stay with a living human. It’s interesting to watch what you people do. I feel it’s not right to barge into someone’s house and they’ll get frightened that it’s haunted. I’d like to have a living housemate. Where do you live?”
“I...live close by. With my friend. I need to go now. Friend is waiting.”
“Oh come on. I am sure you can allow me to stay with you right?”
“No. No. You dead. My house only for livings. I and my housemate Vijay scared to live with ghosts.”
“Oh come on. I shall make you fluent in English. I’ll be a good companion. Your housemate will never know. I am a nice friend, am I not?”
A saggy, ghastly face neared Shanmugam with an inquisitive look.
“I don’t knows”, Shanmugam trembled.
“It will be fine I assure you. How much do you earn? I don’t need anything from you. Just asking, being a friend I can ask right?”
“Why you want knowing all that?”
“Well, if you don’t want to tell I shall not insist. Does your house have many rooms? Will I get one for myself? There will be fewer disturbances then.”
“You don’t come only. I scared. Vijay scared. My house not nice place. It is not big.”
“See, I promise you, I will be of great help. You’ll never regret this decision in your life. I can even shoo your house mate away if he is disturbing you too much. I can keep your house safe. I can communicate with you whenever you want. I can make people behave with you the way you want it. Like that?”
“Hmmm. Okay. I will see.”
“Does your house have a kitchenette?”
“Kitchen only no? Yah. It is there. Why you don’t need to eat anyway?”
“Is there a WC?”
“WC?”
“Yeah”
Shanmugam’s limited knowledge of the English language had embarrassed him more than once. But he didn’t want to give in this time.He tried to break his head thinking. WC? He thought as much as he could and pondered over all possible meanings of WC and finally concluded that it stood for “Wayside Chapel”. Of course what else would an English lady, err... English ghost want to know about. More over she was a spirit, she’d certainly be concerned about one. Not knowing much about London, he wasn’t quite sure about the number of churches close to house. But there was one, he remembered Vijay talking about it. In fact their neighbor, Mr. Clarke was talking about his daughter’s marriage to be held there.
So, that’s that. WC is Wayside Chapel. Shanmugam proudly cleared his throat and began,
“Yah. There is one WC close to my house. I am new to London, no? So I don’t know. I have not been to a WC yet. My housemate tell me that it is walking distance only. But many people go there often. So it will be crowded no? So you should go early. But there is lot of standing room I hear from Vijay. In fact my neighbor’s daughter getting married there only. She met her future husband there only. How interesting no?”
The lady from before stared at Shanmugam. Her face sank into a meaningless expression.
Shanmugam thought the lady was astonished at his fluent pace. Astonished? Impressed! That must be it. She was impressed. Shanmugam had to build up more.
“Hey, I have been to a WC in India. In Chennai? You know Chennai? I am from there only. My closest friend’s sister got married in one so I went. It was a small wedding only. Not many people but at least ten in each seat. Everybody was very happy. Even I was, my friend’s sister is also my sister no? It was very nice to see the expression on their faces.”
The woman from before was speechless.
Shanmugam went on with pride. The build up was not enough.
“But my girlfriend couldn’t come to the WC as she was ill then. She is still not okay. It has been almost a year since she went to a WC, which pains her greatly.”
The body less woman began to fade.
Shanmugam boldly went on,
“You will be pleased to last know that many people bring their lunch and make a day of it. Others prefer to wait till the last minute and arrive just in time! Stupid people no? But the WC near my house, I thinks you go on a Thursday because I hear from Vijay that on Thursdays there is an organ accompaniment. The acoustics are excellent and even the most delicate sounds can be heard everywhere.”
Shanmugam suddenly realized that the woman from before had completely gone out of sight. She had dissolved into thin air. Shanmugam called out,
“You there lady? Don’t worry. It is crowed usually but you are a ghost only so you should have no problem. Where you? Even otherwise I am there no? I can’t take you often. So it will only be a problem if you have a problem of going very often. But once a week I promise. You there?”
The confused Shanmugam turned around and felt for the door in the darkness and when he found it he slid out and began walking home.
EPILOGUE
The ghost, belonged to an age when English was spoken differently. It was called “Early modern English”. Then ( in some places, even now) , WC stood for Water closet. The English commonly referred to a bathroom as a water closet. The blood thirsty ghost had been in the idea of amusing herself with a conversation before quenching herself. But the alarming and appalling ways in which the people of today used a water closet had frightened her out of her soul. She went in search of her relative spirits to check out their living descendants. REGARDS - chevy.
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