Quo Vadis, Whither are You going ? - NEMESIS and NEETU (End)

[ramky]

.
This is my first attempt at serious story writing, so there are bound to be some flaws & inconsistencies. Kindly bear with those, and pm me about them.

QUO VADIS - WHITHER ARE YOU GOING ?

Jagannathan was sitting on the cement bench at the bus stop by the side of the main road, watching the meandering traffic pass by, through the narrow, so called Main road of the town. The traffic consisted mainly of tractors, bullock carts, mopeds - and an occassional town bus, stopping just long enough to disgorge its share of travellers and inhabitants belonging to the area.

Compared to these villagers & townpeople, Jagannathan's attire was not much different - a white dhothi, a cotton shirt, and a towel over his shoulder, substituting for the traditional angavasthram. But instead of slippers, he was wearing leather slip ons with buckles. These used to be called Quo Vadis when sold by a popular Indian shoe maker quite some years ago. While shielding his face from the dust cloud raised by passing lorry, he looked down at his slipons and immediately realised the incongruity of their presence, in relation to the surroundings and the footwear of others standing or lounging nearby at the bus stop.

For that matter, he himself was out of place in these surroundings. Just a changeover to modern clothes and he would be ready to board the flight back to the US. Ofcourse, there he was called Jacky and not Jagannathan. And he need not ( would not ) wait for an hour to board a creaky bus just to take him to the next town 50 miles away. He would take his car and go wherever he wanted to. whever he wanted to ...
There lies the million dollar question - where does he want to go now ? both literally speaking as well as figuratively.

Where are you going now Jacky ? his heart seems to querry... most turning points in his life were associated with this question.

Where are you going now Jagannathan / Jags / Jaggu Dada / Jacky ?

He remembered the first time someone had asked him this question .. Sumathi had asked him that, when she came to know that, he's leaving the school and shifting to Delhi, since his dad had got transferred there. He suddenly remembered the sad, forlorn expression on her face ... but she put up a brave front & asked him, Oh so now you will get a new set of friends ? hope you wont forget this little school and the teachers and the classrooms ?! But he knew, only her mouth was voicing these words, she had delibrately left out the phrase, "You wont forget me ?" While her eyes pleaded with him silently, entreating him not to leave, not to leave her, not to leave their friendship of five wonderful years behind. Friendship which had now blossomed to Love!

Drip .....

The sudden taste of salt in his mouth and the ting in his eyes brought him back to reality, to the present time. OMG ! He was crying ! So it wasnt the sweat from his brows which caused the salty taste - it was his tears. He, the great Jacky a.k.a. Jaggu Dada actually crying.

Hurriedly he wiped away the tears with his handkerchief and looked around surreptiously. Thank God, no one had seen him crying. For what would the villagers think! They would be scandalised to see a middle aged man ( with hair gone completely white ) shed copious tears openly, without any sense of time nor place.

Anyway did he really care two hoots what these people would think ? What do they know of HIS emotional vacuum, his immense suffering, his pangs of loneliness, his ever troubling conscience ? Even after coming to these silvan surroundings, he had to take atleast a coupla sleeping pills before even an iota of sleep would come to him. Not only the pills, he also needed an assortment of "accessories" to help him sleep - a so called best selling novel ( which he was sure even an out of work critic wouldnt have bothered to cast a scrutinising glance on ), a quarter bottle of the strongest liquor, the TV turned on with some western channel blaring cacophonically. And each night he also obsessively listened to the music CD of a famous singer ( ideal for his situation - for hadnt the singer herself lost someone dear ? ), to sing lullabies of sad numbers, each so painful to listen to, for they kept reminding him of Jayshree - she who had left him behind, to face a bleak future alone, inspite of his entreaties. just as he had left Sumathi and had gone to another city, so many eons ago..

To speak the truth, ( not for being fair, he didnt know what fair or fairplay was - he only knew about the fair faces of the fairer sex ). Anyway to speak the truth, Jayshree hadnt left him suddenly like he had done with Sumathi. She gave him sufficient warnings. And one day, out of sheer frustration, she asked him pointblank, "Jaggu, what are you trying to prove ? What you're doing is completely wrong and unfair. Listen to me ! I am not telling you all this just from a selfish viewpoint. I am not myopic like you. There's more to life than money, wealth, power etc. What are you gonna do with so many loads of these ? And for whom ? I really think you should ..."

He hadnt let her finish what she wanted to say, but had angrily opened the door, stormed out of their bedroom and slammed it shut as he hurried to the terrace, his place of refuge .. to puff away on his Kingsize filter cigarette.. as if puffing out the narcotic fumes will help to clear the poisonous thoughts clouding his brain.

He had not known it then, but his physical act of banging open & slamming the door was like a premonition. He had actually, symbolically shut out the the peace from his life and opened the door to a life full of miseries, drowning him in a deluge of sorrows. for all this, the only sobriquet he got was being nicknamed "Jaggu Devdas" - for he had become an Alcoholic - to drown the painful memories, he drowned in gallons and gallons of costly liquor. And having had to pay dearly for them ( he had to maintain his status and image at the club you know )
he started drowning in debt, bringing fresh influx of trouble from the bank, relatives, moneylenders, etc etc. and to forget all this unpleasantness, he had increased his intake of Johny Walker & Shevas Regal & Gold Monk & - what were the others ? Well the brand names of liquor do not matter anymore. what matters is that, his frenzied and uncontrolled spending had fattened the purses of the local wine-shop owners, while simulaneously emptying his bank balances.

Drip. Drip, Drip, Drip.

Once again he was shaken out of his painful reverie ... by droplets of liquid... only this time they were'nt his tears...it was actually raining !What began as a drizzle grew into a heavy rain and now it was pouring cats and dogs! He was half drenched inspite of standing under the concrete shelter of the bus stop.

This realisation made him forget his personal problems for the moment ...for hadnt the villagers been complaining about the lack of sufficient rain for so many seasons ?

Unlike the villagers who had sown paddy & similar crops, he had sown dstrust, dishonesty, disinterest, diffidence, et all in Jayshree, and now he was reaping the "fruits" of his labours a thousand fold. And no amount of repentance for his past actions, can revert his life to what it was before she had left him. He then remembered a rustic saying, "Experience is like a Comb, which a man gets after he has become bald. He cannot use the comb at all, because he has no hair left."

( to be continued...)

All the characters, incidents and situations are entirely a figment of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to actual events, or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

-----------------------------------------------------------

I now give here the lyrics of one of my favorite pop songs, which has relevance to the above story :

MAGIC - Jerry Beckley & John Lucy

I wouldnt belive it if I hadnt seen it
No no magic cudnt happen to me
And then I saw you
I couldnt believe it
You took my heart I couldnt retrieve it
Said to myself
Whats it all about
Now I know that there can really be no doubt
You can do magic

You can have anything, That you desire
Magic, And you know,
You are the one, Who can put out the fire
You know damn well, when you cast your spell
You get your way,
You give no ties, with your eyes
A heart of stone would turn to clay

And when it rains
Beating the palms & windowpanes
And in the night it gets so cool
when I cant sleep
When you can come to me
I hold you tight, the rain disappears
Who would believe it
With your words, you drive my tears

You can do magic
You can have anything, That you desire
Magic, And you know,
You are the one, Who can put out the fire
You know damn well, when you cast your spell
You get your way,
You give no ties, with your eyes
A heart of stone would turn to clay

And if I wanted to, I could never be free
I never believed it was true
But now its so clear
You can do magic
You can have anything, That you desire
You are the one, Who can put out the fire
Magic

[ab_123]

Good writing Ramky. Keep going!

[pavalamani pragasam]

:clap: Interesting, ramky! Very, smooth, easy narrative style & depth of character delineation! :thumbsup: Waiting for the rest! :D

[bingleguy]

Ramky :-) :2thumbsup:

[ramky]

thnx a lot, ab_123 ;-) & Vasanth :)

PP madam : spl thnx for ur analytical appreciation of my debut venture :)

[ssanjinika]

Its very good Ram :)
A pondering man :)

[ramky]

thnk u very much, SS :)

[Shakthiprabha.]

EXCELLENT RAMKY.

Emotions can always be decorated with yet another set of new words.

Your story is doing it again :clap: :clap:

waiting for more :)

[madhu]

Ramky... wow... vadumanga- uLLE ivLo kArasAramAna vishayama ?

really superb ! :clap: continue pannungO...

[Anoushka]

Sriram: good story :) why don't give a proper name for J & N please? :)

[ramky]

SP, Madhu, Anou : thnx a lot fr ur encouraging comments :)

Anou : lets see, maybe J and N's names will be revealed !

[Anoushka]

Sriram: Story padikkumbOthu J, N endru padithaal konjam kashtamaga irukirathu, athuvE Jenny, Neha endru ethavathu oru peyar sooti vittal appuram (padikkura enakku) easy-aaga irukum :)

[ramky]

Anou : ellOrum kashtaamaaga irukunnu sollatum, appo names kudukkavEnduma vEndama endru yOsikarEn :)

[crazy]

ramky :clap: :clap:

good story...........eppo next update? :)

[ramky]

Vaasi : thnx, will update as and when Jagannathan mails me the rest of his life story ;-)

[crazy]

Vaasi : thnx, will update as and when Jagannathan mails me the rest of his life story ;-)

oh sari :)

[ramky]

( a recap ... )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Drip. Drip, Drip, Drip.

Once again he was shaken out of his painful reverie ... by droplets of liquid... only this time they were'nt his tears...it was actually raining ! What began as a drizzle grew into a heavy rain and now it was pouring cats and dogs! He was half drenched inspite of standing under the concrete shelter of the bus stop.

This realisation made him forget his personal problems for the moment ...for hadnt the villagers been complaining about the lack of sufficient rain for so many seasons ?

Unlike the villagers who had sown paddy & similar crops, he had sown dstrust, dishonesty, disinterest, diffidence, et all in Jayshree, and now he was reaping the "fruits" of his labours a thousand fold. And no amount of repentance for his past actions, can revert his life to what it was before she had left him. He then remembered a rustic saying, "Experience is like a Comb, which a man gets after he has become bald. He cannot use the comb at all, because he has no hair left."
---------------------------------------------


:arrow: now read on -

And because of his actions, Jayshree had left him - so far away that he cannot reach her now. Only his thoughts can. But thinking of her again after so long, was so painful - but necessary now, for unless he goes through a catharsis, he will not be able to forget his guilt. That he failed to read the signs, failed to see the writing on the wall, that as he moved up and up materially in life, she was going down the emotional slope. As his relationship with Neetu reached rapturous realms, Jayshree was drowning in the dark depths of despair.

Neetu - he thought nostalgically about the first time he met her, or had seen her (while he was still a teenager) but couldnt remember the date exactly. Still he could easily remember the day he fell in love with her. Or atleast the seed of love was sown in his heart - love for this simple, honest and fun loving girl. So full of life, so guileless, one who saw life mostly in colors of black and white. Not many grey areas for her. Well except maybe the grey cashmere sweater she used to wear to the school frequently. Thinking of that sweater made Jagan think of winter - and winter months in Delhi was always something he looked forward to.

He remembered that particular winter day in school when there was a cricket match, between his school and another. His team was in dire straits, but he batted well and helped his school win the match. While returning home after the match, there was an unexpected rain. And there were also the fall of hailstones. As he stood under the shade of the bus stop waiting for the DTC bus, sheltering himself against the rain, his kit bag slung over the shoulder, he saw her walking towards the same bus stop. Looked pleasant, slightly pretty, with a cherubic face. She came and stood near him, and after seeing him, asked him whether Route no.580 had gone? And while asking the question, she shook her head which had become wet due to the rain, to clear away the water droplets. Mmm looks cute when she does that, he thought ! Nice bobbed hairstyle, with a velvet-like sheen about it ! And she had Brown eyes to boot!

Then she did a double-take at him again and asked wasnt he the guy who had played in the match that day ? He preened like a peacock and said yeah I am the same guy and waited to hear words of praises from her, for having saved the school's cricketing hounous and also been awarded the Man of the match. On the contrary. But she didnt. She said that she didnt watch cricket much usually, but came along for the match as she had nothing better to do. He was shocked by her reply - what kind of a girl was she ? Not interested in cricket ! He mmediately got irritated with her ( cute velvet hair be damned ) and started looking towards the bend in the road, to see if he can sight his bus. She started telling something, and even repeated it, but seeing that he wasnt paying attention, kept quiet.

The the bus came. Usually he used to get into the bus properly unlike other school guys, who used to run along the side, and jump onto the footboad only after the bus had speeded up sufficiently. All this was done to impress the girls standing at the bus stop. Jagan being in the 12th std ( grade ) now, had also become adept in this "skill". But today he felt he must do it to catch her attention. ( at this point he didnt even know her name or class etc ). So he didnt get into the bus normally. He started running alongside while the DTC bus picked up momentum, caught the metal bars at the side of the entrance and before the speed became too much, hoisted himself onto the footboard of the bus. Atleast he tried to - but then his right feet slipped on some hailstones on the road, his shoe slipped off his feet and a protruding nail on the footboard of the bus pierced his left foot.

He yelled in pain, let go off the sidebars, slipped from the bus, and fell headlong onto the tarmac of the road. His kitbag fell near him, its contents strewn all over. He was dazed for sometime, and when he recovered, he saw that she had run up to him and was now bending over his leg examining it. "You have lotsa scratches all over your leg", she said. "You have also a hole in your feet and its bleeding like hell !". She immediately took her handkerchief and started wiping away the blood from his wounds. "I had been trying to tell you, your shoe laces were undone and I was sure you are gonna trip and fall somewhere. Why did you try all that heroics ? So foolish, what if the bus had run over you ?" She then helped him walk albeit limping, called a passing autorickshaw and put him onto it. Then she handed over his kit bag and shook an admonitory finger at him, "Dont try this stunt again, isnt it enough that you were a hero today at the match ?"

He was pleasantly surprised ! So she HAD notices his prowess with the cricket bat ! Well well well, nice way to get introduced to a nice girl - one with cute velvet locks of bobbed hair ! He turned back in his seat to look at her more closely, to ask her name, which class etc, but she waved a quick goodbye and was gone in a jiffy!


( to be continued...)

[pavalamani pragasam]

Good narration. But story konjsam run of the mill...cinematic...

[crazy]

ramky: so far :thumbsup:

[ramky]

Good narration. But story konjsam run of the mill...cinematic...

PP Madam : thnx for ur comments :) well, after writing these two episodes, i now realise that many film directors weave their story around real incidents - many of which are common occurences ! :) so this story will also be like that - in many parts :-P

[ramky]

ramky: so far :thumbsup:

thnx Vaasi :D

[seagull]

Ramky : nice going but why such serious story ? :-|

[ramky]

Ramky : nice goingbut why such serious story ? :-|

seagull : thnx :) btw i am also writing a comedy story - "oru mouse web browse seiygirathu !". so this one is a serious story :-P

[madhu]

mmm.. "oru mouse engE pOgirAdhu ?" appadinnu oru masala padam edukkalam-nu irukken :noteeth:

[ramky]

( recap ... )
.........
He was pleasantly surprised ! So she HAD notices his prowess with the cricket bat ! Well well well, nice way to get introduced to a nice girl - one with cute velvet locks of bobbed hair ! He turned back in his seat to look at her more closely, to ask her name, which class etc, but she waved a quick goodbye and was gone in a jiffy!

- - - - - - - - - - - -

NEETU


Next day at the school canteen, Jagan saw her sitting with her friends. He went to their table and said Hi. She first looked at him in surprise, then recognised him and then for no reason, blushed ! He noticed it, but not her friends. He then asked her to share the pakodas he was eating, and they went to a corner table to finish the snacks and talk. Her name was Neetu Verma, was studying in 12th std (Humanities division). At first she was very shy, but gradually opened up at his easy bantering talk and questions. By the time the lunch break was over, their conversation had turned into a casual chat, her bubbliness and enthusiasm infecting him and spreading a kinda warmth in him. He found to his surprise, that she was not at all impressed by his looks - in fact when she looked at him, it was as if she was seeing into him, into his soul, rather than at his face. She also almost liked the same Hindi actors & actresses that he did ! Then the bell for the next class rang and they said goodbyes with promises to meet the next day during the same time.

But by the time he went to his class and joined his friends, the warmth in his heart for her had cooled down. He was now able to think more objectively about Neetu, and wondered why he was thinking so much about her, that too after just one meeting ! Kamal Thawani asked him the reason for his being so silent, so unlike himself. At first he tried to brush it off, then told Kamal about Neetu and how she had become quite friendly with him. Kamal gave a lopsided grin and told him that, he knew about Jagan's flirtatious ways and that he better leave the poor girl alone. More so, as she seemed to be so innocent and also pretty, unlike the "chaalu" ( fast ) girls who were pretty but not innocent at all !

Jagan made no comment. Next day came and he met Neetu at the same table in the canteen. This time they also shared their lunch with each other. She told him in detail about her family - how they had come to Delhi from Punjab, her parents, her brother, her pet cat, etc etc. He just listened to her, engrossed - not in her tale - but in the excited manner in which she recited her story. And at the sweet way she brushed away the locks of hair which frequently fell over her brows. Then suddenly with a start he realised that he was feeling the same warmth, which he felt yesterday in her presence. He was surprised at himself - at he flip flop his heart was going through. In her proximity he felt a strange contented happiness, but away from her he became his usual cold self. Something was happening to him and he was not sure what it was, he thought.

One week passed, almost in the same manner, the two of them meeting at the canteen & chatting & laughing & sharing jokes & anecdotes. After school on the 8th day, as he walked to the bus stop with his friends, Naresh Kampani started kidding him about Neetu - that he was falling in love with her. Obviously kamal had told him about Jagan's daily lunch routine to him. Jagan immediately started denying that he had any such feelings for Neetu. One thing led to another, and before long he found himself betting that he will forget that she even existed, within a week. Kamal said, Pyar or Love is not like that - one never knows when you will be hit by it ! So how to know whether its love or not ? So, he said, you must find out what she feels about you. And after you come to know about it, do you still feel the same way about her ? Or is it a case of loving something, going after something, just because you know its unattainable ? Therein lies the attraction. Always the heart hankers after something which is denied to it. Jagan was surprised to hear Kamal give such an eloquent discourse about Love and such things - because usually he seemed to be such a playful, superficial kind of guy !

Then Naresh threw a challenge - can Jagan get Neetu to tell him that she loved him ? Whats the bet ? How about 50 bucks ? Fine it was agreed - Jagan must make Neetu tell him that she loved him - the period was altered to two weeks, and if he succeeded, then Naresh would treat them all to a good movie with snacks included !
And after knowing that, suppose .. just suppose Jagan also loved her, then we can have a gala party to celebrate it ! What say you Jagan ?! Ok fine guys, Jagan replied. I am sure I am gonna win the bet, so you better keep the 50 bucks ready, and went on his way homeward bound.

Providence played Cupid here ( or failed to play Cupid - depends from whose angle you see the situation ). Next day the Vice Principal announced that there was going to be a Drama ( theatre ) Competition next month, involving the public schools of Delhi, in which their school was also going to participate. As Jagan was a keen dramatist, he immediately went and enrolled for the play. To his surprise he found that Neetu had also done so. And seeing him also there her face lit up with joy. She came near him and started talking excitedly about the drama contest, the possible roles that were being offered, costumes, etc etc. Not only that, those students who were participating in the play need not attend regular classes, as they had to go for rehersals. And which student wasnt fond of bunking classes ?! But the roles were few and candidates were many. Eventually Jagan & Neetu found themselves among those selected for the play.

The next 7 days rushed by in a haze of rehearsels, dialogue mugging, trying out costumes, making of props for the play, etc etc. Inspite of remembering his bet with Naresh, Jagan couldnt help feeling the same warmth when in Neetu's presence. Moreover, nowadays whenever she looked at him, her eyes seem to probe his expectantly - as if seeking an answer, a confirmation of her feelings for him, an affirmation of her love perhaps ? She went out of her way to help him in small ways - she brought tea & samosas for him, whereas everyone else had to go & help themselves from the stock food brought by the school peon. And after a few days, she also presented him with a key chain - one which had the letter "N" in metal hooked to it. He in turn gave her a chain - given free by a popular softdrinks company. ( One had to exchange 20 bottlecaps for it ). She immediately wore it around her neck - causing raised eyebrows amongst those nearby. And Neetu started demonstrating signs of possesiveness - she frowned and got angry with other girls if they so much as dared to smile at Jagan. She got irritable and tensed whenever he talked to any other girl, let alone smile.

Jagan suddenly started feeling awkard at her behaviour - was she married to him or what ? He felt almost suffocated by her adoration & love. He had certainly not bargain for this kinda behaviour from Neetu! He remained thoughful and pensive during rehearsals.

Finally the D day came - and went. Though their team performed well, they couldnt get the first prize, which was won by another school in the same locality. However one silver lining was that, their school got the second prize - not only that, Jagan & Neetu also won the best male & female supporting actor awards ! The prizes would be presented at a separate function in which the Luetenant Governor of Delhi would be the Chief Guest! Such an honour for them both, but instead of feeling joy & happiness, Jagan felt a strange foreboding. Why Neetu was getting possessive about him ? Its not as if he had openly confessed his love to her. But she was behaving as if she were married to him ! Now it was no longer a question of winning or losing the bet with Naresh - he just had to be free of her.

Matters came to a head on their own accord, with some prodding by fate's flirtatious hands. It seems Neetu's friends had been telling her ( Jagan came to know all this much later ) to tell him her love and find out if his feelings were also the same. But sadly, it seems, Neetu had no doubts whatsoever that he loved her and will be hers forever. Maybe she had seen too many romantic movies, or read too many novels ? The day after the competition, she conveyed a message to him, asking him to wait for her after school, near the gate.

When she came there, she started telling something, then seeing the expression on his face, she stuttered & jumbled her words. And then out of blue she blurted out, "Jagan I love you ! I can't think of a life without you! I know you also feel the same about me, but are reluctant to admit it to me. Common tell me your feelings now !" Jagan felt he better be blunt to her now, or he would suffer for the rest of his life, tied to this girl, who didnt seem as pretty nowadays as she had seemed, during their early meetings.

"You say you love me, fine. So what should I do about it ?! You see Neetu, I dont love you! Have I ever told you in so many words ? So you better forget all this love business and get on with your studies. Ofcourse we will continue to be friends. Ok ? What ?"

No reply. Neetu just kept looking at his face for a long long time. Then she started sobbing uncontrollably, covering her face with her hands, pouring out her heart's pain & anguish in salty tears. Jagan got embrassed - after all they were standing near the school gate & many teachers and students were still passing by! What would they think - hope they dont start suspecting the worst about him - that he had put Neetu into "trouble" ! He started telling her to stop crying, placating her, cajoling her to be silent. But no effect - she went on sobbing until one of her friends watching from a little afar, came and hugged Neetu and slowly led her away past the gate, out of the school - and out of his life ( as he thought then ).

He didnt see her at all after that day. He later came to know that she hadnt come to school after that, but had sought a transfer to another school to continue her studies. After some weeks, he had completely forgotten about Neetu.

CRAASSHHH !

The sudden burst of thunder aroused him from his reverie and brought him back to the present - a second's electrical discharge had brought him across two decades of his past. As he had once stood on the crossroads of life two decades ago, so he was now standing on the crossroads on the outskirts of the town. And as he turned to peer at the distant dustclouds ( to find out whether the approaching vehicle was a bus or just a tractor ), a car rushing past him splashed muddy water all over his vEshti, spoiling its pristine whiteness. Almost akin to the same manner in which he had splashed dirt on an innocent girl's character, and sown barbed thorns in her heart - where only roses were meant to bloom.

( to be continued...)

[pavalamani pragasam]

:clap: Great narration! Stunning clarity & truthfulness in the description of psycho processes! A VERY matured handling of a phase of immature teenage! Congrats, ramky!

[ramky]

PP Madam : :notworthy: thx for ur appreciation :)

[crazy]

:)

[seagull]

nice story Ramky but makes me sad :(

[ramky]

thnx Seagull ! btw happiness & sadness are two sides of the same coin - life. so this story also wont be always sad !

[mgb]

Sriram.. Your narration is really excellent :thumbsup:

[ramky]

Ganesh : thnx a lot for your appreciation ! :)

[ramky]

.
JAYSHREE


The sudden burst of thunder aroused him from his reverie and brought him back to the present - a second's electrical discharge had brought him across two decades of his past. As he had once stood on the crossroads of life two decades ago, so he was now standing on the crossroads on the outskirts of the town. And as he turned to peer at the distant dustclouds ( to find out whether the approaching vehicle was a bus or just a tractor ), a car rushing past him splashed muddy water all over his vEshti, spoiling its pristine whiteness. Almost akin to the same manner in which he had splashed dirt on an innocent girl's character, and sown barbed thorns in her heart - where only roses were meant to bloom.

-------------------------------------------

Jagan recovered quickly from the ignominy of being the "cynosure" of all eyes and started looking around for an auto, so that he can get back to his hotel and change over to fresh clothes. Obviously he cant meet the lawyer in these sullied clothes. Soon he found himself in an auto heading back the way he had come an hour ago. As if taking cue from the reversal of his journey, his thoughts headed back to the past. To Neetu again. For many years there was no news of her. Then he heard from a mutual friend that she had joined a Diploma course in a Polytechnic in Chandigarh. And many years after that, he heard that she had become an entrepreneur. When was the last time he had heard news about her ? Before he could recollect more of those memories, he heard someone call his name. He realised with a start that it was the auto driver who was telling him to get down as they had reached the hotel. The receptionist, handed over his room keys as well as a white envelope.

When Jagan reached his room, he fumbled in his cloth bag for the keys. It seemed to him as if he was fumbling often nowadays - fumbling for his keys in all the wrong places, fumbling for the correct words to speak to others in the hotel, fumbling with his hands, fumbling in his thoughts, fumblng in his heart, fumbling in his mind, fumbling in his sleep, fumbling while awake - it had almost become a way of life for him now. As he read the enclosed letter, his eyes became moist, his mood - magnificent, his manner - mellowed.

JAYSHREE ! To receive a letter from her after all these years - what a happy occassion ! It seems she was sending "her" daughter to Chennai for doing some course. ( The word "her" intruded his train of thought and prodded his brain - she still hadnt forgiven him after all these years. ). And she wanted Jagan to act as the local guardian, and she also wanted him to recieve the girl at the railway station and drop her at her uncle's place. The word station was enough to prod his memory with a feeling of deja vu - the same thing had happened so many years ago. But the time was almost two decades ago and place was Delhi.....

.... One cold winter morning found Jagan standing on the platform at Nizamuddin railway station, Delhi waiting for the arrival of Tamil Nadu express from Chennai. His mother had told him the previous day that one of his distant cousins was coming here to seek admission in the 11th std (11th Grade) here. It seems the girl's father had recently passed away and the family was in bad times. As her mother was related to Jagan's dad, the latter had offered to pay for Jayshree's (for that was the cousin's name) studies as well as arrange for her stay in their house itself. Jagan had never seen her before - just a vague recollection of a little dark girl in oily twin plaits. Gosh ! he thought, what a waste of the morning - instead of blissful slumber covered in Rajai (thick woollen blanket), he was waiting on the platform for some Southy girl from 'Down Under' ( thats how he and his friends - the Gang - used to describe any place south of Nagpur ! ). No doubt she would have oily hair tied up in close plaits, twisted to look like a TV antenna. And would be dressed in one of those dresses which was not a full saree. Thats the impression he had of teenage Tamil girls - result of watching an 'Art' film on the Idiot Box few years ago.

Finally the train arrived, he located the right train carriage and also the girl. Well, not exactly like a TV antenna but her hair was oily and plaited for sure ! And she was wearing a Salwar kameez - not a half saree as he had thought. He introduced himself formally to JAYSHREE, took her luggage and sheperded her to the taxi stand outside the station. On arriving at Netaji Nagar, the Government quarters colony where his residence was situated, he found Krishna (also a Tamilian) waiting for him. He left Jayshree with his mother, deposited her luggage in the guest room and went to talk with his closest pal.

Krishna's first question was, "Arre who's that Behenji (girl who is unchic, unfashionable, unpoised) that came with you ?!"

"Hey lower down your voice, she's some distant relative and is gonna stay with us for a year. Going to join in 11th std in a school here !"

"Hope not in our school ! Just imagine how our Gang will react - they will go berserk teasing you, that Jagan's cousin is a Behenji !!"

"No no! She's not a cousin, just a distant relative - my mom told me. Anyway I will ensure that she doesnt even dream of joining our school. Dont want the girls to get a wrong impression of my tastes, do I ?!"

"Ok anyway I came mainly to tell you that the rest of the Gang is planning to go for a movie this Sunday - swell film at Chanakya ! And after the movie, all of us will go to Nirulas in Connaught Place for snacks, then to Palika Bazar for some shopping and then to Lodhi Gardens for relaxing and talking ! The girls are also coming ! What about you ?"

"Mmmm .. let me see. I have to somehow excuse myself from 'baby sitting' Jayshree ! Anyway I will manage somehow, you count me in for the programme !"

"Ok, but come to my place Saturday night itself, will be easier to go from my place than yours."

When Jagan went inside after seeing off Krishna, he saw Jayshree standing near the dining table looking at him in a strange manner. He wondered whether she had overheard what he had told his friend. But why should he care what she thinks - she's not upto his standard of beauty ! He went to the kitchen, told his mom about the weekend programme, packed his bag and left for the DTC bus stop.

----------------------

After having a wonderful time with the Gang, Jagan returned Sunday evening to his house. On pressing the calling bell, he couldn't recognise the person who opened the door in the fading light of dusk. Entering the hall, he saw that the person standing near the fireplace was an unfamiliar girl ! But she was a looker - a very pretty face with sharp features, enveloped in long silky tresses, and dressed in Denim Jeans & T shirt ! His interest and curiosity was aroused, but he felt confused suddenly - whether to introduce himself first, or to question the girl - who was she & what was she doing in his home ?! Where were mom and Jayshree ?

As if following his thought process & answering them, the girl spoke, "Hi Jagan, so how was your weekend with your friends ? By the way, Athai ( aunt ) has gone to the temple and has kept tiffin for you on the dining table !" It was Jayshree's voice !! But ... but her clothes... but her oily hair ... her dark face ... but ..! So many buts butted Jagan's brain - he was at a loss for an answer ! She went on, "The day before I didnt talk to you much as I was very tired from the journey & other things. You're having a pretty much wrong impression about girls living down south and also about me ! I studied in an English medium school, I too wear modern clothes, I too listen to Pop songs & Hindi songs, and am NOT a Behenji like your friend said ! Girls living down south may not wear lose free flowing hair, but our character is also NOT lose and our morals are not free ! Ok see you later, I am also going to the temple now."

Jayshree swept past Jagan to go out, but her speech swept into his mind & pierced his opinions. She went out of the hall, out to the winter coldness. But her transformed appearance entered his heart with a searing warmth. Alas ! He was as yet unaware that he had fallen for the Dusky Damsel from 'Downunder' !

[crazy]

:swinghead: hayya story vandaachu

ramky :thumbsup: story sooooooooooper :clap:

[ramky]

thnx Vaasi :)

[pavalamani pragasam]

nallavE pOkuthu! stirring the curiosity!

[seagull]

nice update ramky :)

[ramky]

thnx PP Madam, seagull :)

[Mystic]

ramky : u write well :clap:

[ramky]

thnx Mystic :)

[Querida]

first poet and now writer too? :D I like how you shortly recap the story before plunging into your intriguing narrative...i like how you establish a reality in which love and attraction is not a once done deal...i like your character's personality...ego yes but admirable as well you can distinctly tell the character that he is in the beginning is more mature than the one that he is when with J or N...that can only come with a talent for insight. I'm quite glad to have stumbled upon this....now that you have added yet another fan you should be kind enough to continue please :D

[ramky]

Querida : thnx a lot for ur analysis & appreciation :D.
i will update the story soon :) !

[Lambretta]

Wow, this really aroused my curiosity Ramky! cant wait to read on more.... :D
Semma story-writer neenga! :thumbsup: 8-)
I really feel good abt the character Jaysree, except for this one part (IMO!) wher she says:


......I too wear modern clothes.....
I wonder y, even in reality, many of our ppl.- esp. girls- hav this misconception tat ne western outfits r "modern"! :roll: I mean, one cud still be modern even w/out dressing up in jeans/tees etc....:huh:
Conversely, if Jaysree really wer a 'behenji' or typical rural southy girl as she was thot as, I guess she cudnt look 'modern' even in a western garb!
And yea, twas a bit rich of this Jagan guy to think of Southy girls tat way wen he himself ended up wearing a veshti years later....:P :lol:

Neways, :D.......lookin fwd to the next part. :)

[ramky]

Wow, this really aroused my curiosity Ramky! cant wait to read on more.... :D
Semma story-writer neenga! :thumbsup: 8-)

thnx Lamby :D



I really feel good abt the character Jaysree, except for this one part (IMO!) wher she says:

......I too wear modern clothes.....
I wonder y, even in reality, many of our ppl.- esp. girls- hav this misconception tat ne western outfits r "modern"! :roll: I mean, one cud still be modern even w/out dressing up in jeans/tees etc....:huh:
Conversely, if Jaysree really wer a 'behenji' or typical rural southy girl as she was thot as, I guess she cudnt look 'modern' even in a western garb!

The part about Jayshree happened when Jagan was still in school ! And in those days, a girl was considered 'modern' if she wears jeans & Tshirt ! :)



And yea, twas a bit rich of this Jagan guy to think of Southy girls tat way wen he himself ended up wearing a veshti years later....:P :lol:
Neways, :D.......lookin fwd to the next part. :)

Lamby, very rightly pointed out by you. But I have observed frequently that however modern a guy might be, or has even lived in a western country most of his life, when he comes down south he wears a vEshti on many occassions. Maybe bcos he feels that by wearing a vEshti atleast in south India, he can feel some affinity to our culture, his roots etc. Moreover, gents of Jagan's age prefer wearing a vEshti when in Chennai on many occassions, and especially when visiting small towns of Tamil Nadu. :)

[ramky]

.
GENESIS OF LOVE !

***** A recap *****

As if following his thought process & answering them, the girl spoke, "Hi Jagan, so how was your weekend with your friends ? By the way, Athai ( aunt ) has gone to the temple and has kept tiffin for you on the dining table !" It was Jayshree's voice !! But ... but her clothes... but her oily hair ... her dark face ... but ..! So many buts butted Jagan's brain - he was at a loss for an answer ! She went on, "The day before I didnt talk to you much as I was very tired from the journey & other things. You're having a pretty much wrong impression about girls living down south and also about me ! I studied in an English medium school, I too wear modern clothes, I too listen to Pop songs & Hindi songs, and am NOT a Behenji like your friend said ! Girls living down south may not wear lose free flowing hair, but our character is also NOT lose and our morals are not free ! Ok see you later, I am also going to the temple now."

Jayshree swept past Jagan to go out, but her speech swept into his mind & pierced his opinions. She went out of the hall, out to the winter coldness. But her transformed appearance entered his heart with a searing warmth. Alas ! He was as yet unaware that he had fallen for the Dusky Damsel from 'Downunder' !

-------------------------------------------

The following week Jagan's dad secured admission for Jayshree in 11 th std (Grade) in Jagan's school. At lunch break, she came to Jagan's class with her lunch box and requested him to have lunch with her, as she was feeling shy to mingle with the girls of her class. Jagan obliged reluctantly for outward appearances, but inwardly he was feeling mighty pleased with himself to keep her company ! For Jayshree was looking quite good in the school get up and he noticed that other guys were impressed by her sharp looks.

They sat on a bench bordering the school playground and muched their sandwitches. The wintry air was crisp, the sunlight warm, the birds chirpy and Jayshree talkative. All was right with the world, Jagan felt. A couple of eagles had alighted near the ground, attracted by the food. Jayshree was excited to see them at close range, without fear of them. She threw crumbs of bread at them and watched them devour it with a pleased countenance, all the while describing to him their salient features (it seems Zoology was one of her favorite subjects). But Jagan was more interested in Jayshree's salient features - how her nose slanted straight from the brows, just a wee bit upturned at the end, as if poking at its own imperfection. How her jawline was slightly square, just a wee bit as if mocking at Jayashree's feminity. How her mouth had a slight twist at one end as if smirking at her lush full lips. But taken as a whole, all these features enhanced her beauty instead of diminishing it. Suddenly she looked up to say something and caught him staring at her. She blushed deeply and immediately looked down. But he couldnt take his eyes off her face. After some time she looked up and at him, then slowly she smiled - her pearly teeth perfectly set as if rows of rice grains had been chiselled to order. CLANG CLANG CLANG ! The bell announced the end of the lunch hour - and of the sweet moments of silent intimacy they had shared.

Every day from then on, Jayshree and Jagan always lunched together. They preferred the school playground instead of the canteen, for obvious reasons. After school was over, Jagan would escort her home each day. They spoke more and more each day, about their respective friends, lifestyle, movies, music, common relatives and so on. Usually it was Jagan's habit to stay back a while and gossip with his pals, but nowadays he was eager to leave class as soon as the bell rang - for Jayshree would be waiting for him. As days passed into weeks, and weeks morphed into months, their intimacy deepened and their love - yes it was love even though neither of them had voiced it openly - thier love grew stronger. He now spent most of his weekends at home, supposedly to revise the syllabus ( for the 12 th std Board Exams was just around the corner ), but actually so that he can spend more time with her. When his mom became slightly curious about this, he blamed it on Jayshree's poor Hindi and said that he was teaching her the language. Whereas the reality was, they were both subtly & silently teaching one another - and also learning from each other, the facets & intricacies of love. For even though so many months had passed, neither had openly professed his or her love for the other.

Then an incident happened which sort of acted as a catalyst for their love. One might even say Cupid had woken up from his slumber and decided he better move things along at a rapid pace. The festival of Holi is grandly celebrated in most states & provinces of North India, and the mischievous pranks associated with it, begin atleast a week in advance. Boys would fill ballons with water and throw them at passers by, drenching them thoroughly. Others would smear color powders on the face and hands of any one who happened to be nearby.

That day Jagan & Jayshree were waiting at the bus stop after school, when a group of three guys clutching a sack of water ballons came along. They started throwing balloons at some girls standing there - it is a sign of those times that, the public kept quite while all this happened. They tend to smile indulgently at these antics, even encouraging the boys sometimes. One of the guys came near Jayshree and was about to hit her with a water balloon when Jagan objected. But the guy didnt pay any heed and hit her with couple of balloons. Jayshree was shocked and also drenched to the core. Jagan got very angry and mouthed some vulgar words at those guys. A third guy came with his hands full of Vermillion powder, and forcibly put some on Jayshree's head & that too at the centre parting of her hair. This was the last straw for Jagan. Because in the North & elsewhere, only the girl's husband has the right to apply it on her. Jayashree started crying and tried to wipe away the Vermillion with her kerchief, but it only smeared her face and hands. The three guys laughed at this and mocked at her.

Jagan's fury knew no bounds. He sprang at the nearest guy and punched him on the stomach. The second chap clutched him from behind, but Jagan used Judo and threw him over his shoulder onto the tarmac. The third guy lunged at him with hands rolled into a punch, but Jagan swerved aside and ducked it. He then caught the out stretched arms of the guy and used another Judo trick to floor him. By then the other two guys had recovered and were punching wildly at Jagan's face, arms, everywhere. Jayshree could do nothing except scream wildly & loudly for help. The wonderful duty conscious Public watched all this objectively - who wants to get involved ? Who knows suppose one of the guys had an influential father ?! Jagan's strength was draining in the stranglehold of the two guys' arms, when Jayshrees' desperate cries brought help - some of their classmates who were just coming out of school heard her screaming voice and rushed towards them for assistance. They shouted at Jagan, "Jagan dont worry we are hear. Lets teach this guys a good lesson." etc etc. To cut a long story short, the three ruffians were badly outnumbered by Jagan & company - and so were beaten out of their wits. Then somehow those three guys freed themselves, ran and boarded a just starting bus. As the bus sped along, one of the guys shouted at them, "You dont know whom you have messed up with. We are students of So and So College. Jagan we wont let you live in peace; just you wait and see what happens tomorrow !"

And sure enough the next day, students were shocked at lunch time, by the arrival of a DTC U spl bus ( University Special - meant only for school & college going students ) which stopped bang outside the school gates. Hordes of tough looking college guys swarmed from it, and entered the school. All of them were shouting & cursing loudly. Many were carrying 'weapons' - cycle chains, hockey sticks, cricket stumps etc - few of them also had short knives. While the school students watched, the college guys spread through the campus asking around & demanding for a guy called 'Magan' - in the confusion of saving thier skins, the three rogues had not remembered Jagan's name correctly. The Principal came and told the guys to leave the school premises. The guys wanted him to hand over 'Magan' to them so that they can teach a 'lesson' to him & friends - for committing the folly of messing with college guys. The Princi quoted various rules and said that as long as 'Magan' was inside the school, he was the Princi's responsibility and the guys had no right to touch him. But they can carry on their feud once he leaves the school gates. Disgruntled, but mollified by the Princi's pleadings, the college goondas left the same noisy way they had come.

Jagan and his friends who were all along hiding on the school terrace till now ( they had reasoned out that, Discretion was better than Valor ), slowly came down the stairs and went to meet Princi. The aged & experienced man gave them one good advice - "Take a leave of atleast a week or ten days from school and stay put at home. You never know when the college goondas are going to return, and this time they may even have all your names." He then asked his driver to drop them at their respective houses in his car. And so, because of these events, Jagan was forced to take a holiday - sanctioned by Princi himself - and stay at home. Now due to some quirk of fate, or Cupid's sincere efforts at doing his duty best - that of aiming barbs at people to make them fall in love, or call it Providence even - Jayashree became afflicted with fever - Jagan happily playing the roll of a male nurse to take care of her !

.................................................. .................................................. .........................................

[crazy]

Ramky: :thumbsup: so intresting................Wonder what Cupid gonna do in the next chapter? :D

[pavalamani pragasam]

Hmmm... enna solrathunnu therila, marupadiyum slipping to the run of the mill?

[Badri]

Hmm, athu thaan enakkum thonithu! Narration is good, language handling is good :) and in fact, even the title is rare and masterly :thumbsup:

But story line seems to be treading traditional paths! :(

[ramky]

Vaasi : thnx :)


Hmm, athu thaan enakkum thonithu! Narration is good, language handling is good :) and in fact, even the title is rare and masterly :thumbsup:

thnx Badri :)



But story line seems to be treading traditional paths! :(

PP Madam & Badri : It just goes to show that, there are not many variations where affairs of the heart are concerned :). Neeways lets see what Cupid does in the next episode !

[seagull]

ramky : quite interesting :D and your English is awesome :thumbsup:

[Mystic]

very nice update :D. wonder what will cupid do in next chapter :roll:

[ramky]

seagull and Mystic : thnx a lot for ur appreciation :). its upto Cupid reg next episode ;-)

[ramky]

.
EMOTIONAL RHAPSODIES

*** A recap ***
-----------------------------
Jagan and his friends who were all along hiding on the school terrace till now ( they had reasoned out that, Discretion was better than Valor ), slowly came down the stairs and went to meet Princi. The aged & experienced man gave them one good advice - "Take a leave of atleast a week or ten days from school and stay put at home. You never know when the college goondas are going to return, and this time they may even have all your names." He then asked his driver to drop them at their respective houses in his car. And so, because of these events, Jagan was forced to take a holiday - sanctioned by Princi himself - and stay at home. Now due to some quirk of fate, or Cupid's sincere efforts at doing his duty best - that of aiming barbs at people to make them fall in love, or call it Providence even - Jayashree became afflicted with fever - Jagan happily playing the roll of a male nurse to take care of her !

******************************

Some days ago, one of Mom's closest friend had become a widow and Mom had to leave for Bombay to be at her side during her hour of grief. The next day, it had rained heavily, and Jayshree was drenched to the bones while collecting the clothes from the terrace. She got a severe cold, and the changing climate compounded this, resulting in fever. Her face paled and she became weak. Jagan's dad took her to a doctor and she was diagnosed as having Influenza. He gave an injection, prescribed some medicines and also advised Jayshree to take complete rest for a week. Dad had already arranged for a cook after Mom had left for Bombay and there was the maid servant to do the other household work. So he & Jagan had no hassles managing the house in her absence, since both Jagan and Jayshree didnt have to go to school either, albeit for different reasons.

Jagan took upon himself the task of nursing Jayshree back to health. He ensured that she ate her food at the proper time and also gave her medicines as per doc's instructions. He felt a kinda joy in mothering her like this, and she too seemed to welcome his attentions - as was evident by the eager, glowing look in her eyes whenever he used to enter her room. During these interactions, they didnt talk much - atleast not anything serious. Just about movies & the latest songs. Krishna, his closest pal, used to drop in occassionally to pass the time and also to enquire about her health. One day he gave an audio cassette of pop songs to Jagan, adding with a knowing look, that it had excellent romantic numbers. Jagan was surprised how his friend could gauge his feelings, when he himself wasn't sure whether what he felt towards Jayshree, was Love or sympathy. Then one afternoon - no it was not raining like in the movies, nor were birds singing in the garden or anything like that - the weather had become quite hot & sultry and on top of that, the current went off. Jayshree woke up from her siesta and complained of boredom. Why cant we listen to the radio or some cassette she asked. Without telling her about he power situation, he quietly got a coupla battery cells, put them in the cassette player and played the tape Krishna had given. And then the music engulfed them ....

I wouldnt belive it if I hadnt seen it
No no magic cudnt happen to me
And then I saw you
I couldnt believe it
You took my heart I couldnt retrieve it

Jayshree looked at him for a long time and then lowered her eyes.


Said to myself
Whats it all about
Now I know that there can really be no doubt
You can do magic

You can have anything, That you desire
Magic, And you know,
You are the one, Who can put out the fire
You know damn well, when you cast your spell
You get your way,
You give no ties, with your eyes
A heart of stone would turn to clay

It was Jagan's turn to look at her eyes - deeply.


And when it rains
Beating the palms & windowpanes
And in the night it gets so cool
when I cant sleep
When you can come to me
I hold you tight, the rain disappears
Who would believe it
With your words, you drive my tears

Jayshree moved closer & snugled upto him.


You can do magic
You can have anything, That you desire
Magic, And you know,
You are the one, Who can put out the fire
You know damn well, when you cast your spell
You get your way,
You give no ties, with your eyes
A heart of stone would turn to clay

She buried her face into his chest and hugged him tight, and started weeping ... uncontrollably.

And if I wanted to, I could never be free
I never believed it was true
But now its so clear
You can do magic
You can have anything, That you desire
You are the one, Who can put out the fire
Magic


Jagan didnt know how to console her or why she was weeping like this. He instinctively felt protective towards her, and put his arms around her and held her tight. She continued weeping. Finally the song ended & the next one started playing - a fast rock and roll number, which made Jayshree stop her weeping and gather her emotions. Jagan stopped the tape and then looked at her with questioning eyes. Then she wiped her tears and smiled slightly, and began talking.
"When my father died, it was so shocking for me that I hadn't cried then. I couldnt come to terms with the fact that he was no more alive, that I will never see him again or hear his voice or affectionate chidings ever again. I had gone into an emotional shell, infact I behaved as if he were still alive, and, was talking & laughing as if nothing had happened. Now suddenly listening to this song, so full of meaning and you being here... All my pent up grief at my father's death poured out...".

They were both silent for sometime, each thinking about the other...afraid to say anything & break this moment of intimacy between them. She then looked at him, her searching eyes speaking volumes about her feelings for him. They stared at each other for a long time, then he drew her closer to himself. She didnt resist, but let him touch her face, and then Jagan bent towards her to kiss her. She closed her eyes slightly and waited with bated breath, to savour the unique moment - a teenager's first kiss !

"JAGAN ! JAGAN ! Where are you? Come here a moment and help me with these boxes."

Oh my God ! It was Dad's voice calling from the living room ! They drew apart in a flash, and Jagan jumped up from the cot and rushed out of her room.

***

Soon after some days Mom returned from Bombay and the household returned to normalcy. Jayshree's health too soon returned to normal. Whenver they saw each other, each thought of the unsaid Love between them, and also yearned for fruition of the incomplete kiss. Such is the truth of youth - or for that matter of any age - having almost had a taste of something, the mind becomes restless till the feelings are satiated. And again it hankers for more & more. On the last day of Jagan's forced vacation, Jayshree once again went to the terrace to collect the clothes put out for drying. Jagan too followed her and tried to kiss her, when they were hidden behind the curtain of colorful clothes. "JAGAN ! JAGAN ! Come downstairs - Krishna has come to see you" - it was his mom's voice and she seemed to be coming upstairs ! They both hurriedly drew apart and Jayshree busied herself with folding the dried clothes. Jagan heartily cursed Krishna - for choosing this inopurtune moment to pay him a visit.

JAGAN ! JAGAN ! How are you ? Long time no see !

Jagan woke up from his deep reverie, and was brought in a hypersonic speed, from the past of his youth, to the present of his middle age. He realised with a start that he was standing in his hotel room, in a town of Tamil Nadu, clutching Jayshree's letter in his hands. ( In which she had written that, she was sending "her" daughter to Chennai for doing some course. And she wanted Jagan to act as the local guardian, and she also wanted him to recieve the girl at the railway station and drop her at her uncle's place. )

Framed in the open door of the hotel room, was standing a man, as old as he was, with a vaugely familiar face - it was this man who had addressed the above words to him! But Jagan could not for the life of him, recollect the man's name. He concentrated hard to recollect another facet of his past, but the strain of hard travelling recently, plus the lack of sleep, plus the lack of normal health, plus the strain of recalling painful memories, all these became too much for him to handle. His head reeled, his eyes swam, his mouth mumbled, his hands waved in the empty air, grabbing for a support which was not there - Jagan fainted and fell onto the hotel room floor. Blissful oblivion took over and all that remained was a silent blackness.

[crazy]

ramky: u r story is ........................so (which word shall i put)..........donno................but really beautiful :) (beautiful.........hm looking for a better word)

teenage love :D

cant wait til ur next update................ :clap: :thumbsup:

[pavalamani pragasam]

...mmmmm......nadakkattum....nadakkattum!

[ramky]

thnx Vaasi, PP Madam :)

[Mystic]

Ramky : nice update :D .... cupid's done a fine job :P

[ramky]

thnx Mystic :)

[priyaa_1980]

:lol: :oops: :twisted: :P :x :shock:
heeeeeeeeeeeeeee
heeeeeeeeeeeee

[ramky]

Priya : thnx for your 'emotional' comments :P

[ramky]

.
NEMESIS - and NEETU

*** A recap ***
-----------------------------
JAGAN ! JAGAN ! How are you ? Long time no see !
-------------------------------------------------
Framed in the open door of the hotel room, was standing a man, as old as he was, with a vaugely familiar face - it was this man who had addressed the above words to him! But Jagan could not for the life of him, recollect the man's name. He concentrated hard to recollect another facet of his past, but the strain of hard travelling recently, plus the lack of sleep, plus the lack of normal health, plus the strain of recalling painful memories, all these became too much for him to handle. His head reeled, his eyes swam, his mouth mumbled, his hands waved in the empty air, grabbing for a support which was not there - Jagan fainted and fell onto the hotel room floor. Blissful oblivion took over and all that remained was a silent blackness.

-------------------------------------------------

When he regained consciousness, he found himself on the hotel bed - the stranger watching him with concern. "Good ! You must have been quite tired and the heat must have got to you. Here drink this..". Jagan drank the liquid proffered to him - and while tasting it, some vague memories began to stir. The buttermilk was garnished with coriander leaves and had the refreshing ting of lemon. It was quite some decades since he had drunk a similar tasting buttermilk ! He then remembered who the stranger was - his childhood friend Venguttu.

After exchanging pleasantries and comparing notes about the elapsed years, Venguttu asked him the purpose of this visit. Jagan told him his intention of selling the ancestral property in the village, including the land. Venguttu asked him about his family. Jagan hesitated, but what the hell? Why not tell him all and lessen his mental burden? After all he's not gonna come back to this town again - and so need not worry about having to go through the shame a drunkard feels, after a night of drunken confessions & wrongful revelry. So he told Venguttu everything - about his marriage to Jayshree, the not so sweet honeymoon, the widening chasm of misunderstandings & grievances, the bitterness of an incompatible marriage and the eventual divorce. He tried to justify his mistakes - explaining that after their marriage, he couldn't spare as much time for Jayshree as he wanted to, caught as he was in the rat race of the Yuppie generation. As he rose higher and higher in the company hierarchy, lesser became the time he spent with her. And the emotional gap between himself and Jayshree widened more and more - even the physical contacts became fewer and fewer, and eventually ceased. He was busy with his official meetings, ad compaigns, business strategies, takeover plans, etc etc. She in turn immersed herself in her kitty parties, charities, and other social activities. At first she used to hint to him, that the affluence his position had brought couldnt compensate for his absence, and that she missed his earlier warmth - in all ways. But he didnt have the same feelings for her now, having found someone else who was more in tune with his tastes & ambitions, and one whose attitude & thoughts were of the same wavelength as his - Neetu !.

It was a paradox of life - that one whom he thought he hadnt any love for decades ago, now gave him the welcome warmth of companionship, the soothing coolness of understanding, and the intellectual satisfaction of stimulative, meaningful discussions which were infact like mental gymnastics.

He had been surprised some years ago, when attending a simposium on "The effect of harmful Plastics used in Consumer Products", he happened to bump into Neetu outside the conference hall. Thinking she hated him and would not like to interact with him, he tried to avoid her - but she greeted him without any animosity or rancour, and introduced herself as the Managing Director of a leading plastics products manufacturing company ! Smiling at his obvious disbelief, she recounted her career progress - how after completing her Diploma in Plastics Engineering, she had become an entrepreneur and had started a small bottle caps manufacturing unit. Her hardwork, diligence, business acumen, flair for marketing, and a bit of luck, had brought immense profits for the small unit, which had now grown into a major company. Jagan began to see Neetu in an altogether different light - she now seemed to be very attractive to him - she had poise, style, panache, beauty, and last but not the least - she was now the owner of a huge FMG company with considerable influence in business circles. Wealth and power had always been like twin aphrodisiacs for him, and he felt irresistibly drawn towards her. Now he ventured to seek some answers from her. Wasnt she angry with him for rejecting her love way back in school ? She replied that she was so for coupla years, but then she happened to see him and Jayshree at a party together, and had thought that Jagan had found his real love. Then she had assumed there was no chance for her and had gone back to complete her Diploma course. Having enquired from him the salient points of his life, she then asked him to have coffee with her. And soon they were exchanging all the intimate details of each other's lives. One thing led to another and before the night was over, they had become lovers. Neetu was still single, having broken an arranged engagement, because the groom's family had demanded dowry just before the wedding. Both had an emotional vacuum in their respective lives, and the physical satiation fulfilled their emotional needs too.

The relationship - rather the affair - continued beyond the night of the conference. Jagan silenced his conscience by justifying that, Neetu was not looking for any kind of commitment from him, except a few days of companionship each month - so there will not be any threat to his married life. But neither of them had realised that this casual affair would become a serious involvement for both of them. Jagan now spent all his free time with Neetu, making some excuse or the other to Jayshree to explain his late comings or his going out of station for so many days.

Eventually Jayshree resigned herself to his indifference and sought emotional fulfillment by taking part in numerous social activties. The absence of children compounded all the misunderstandings they had had. And finally after a decade of unpleasantness, came the Divorce after which she went back to Chennai to live with some relatives. But he hadn't for the heaven of him, known that she had been pregnant at that time. He had come to know of it only much later through a mutual aquaintance. He had then immediately flown to Chennai, intending to confront Jayshree, and demand his rights as the father of the child. But on meeting her and seeing her frail body & failing health, he was shocked beyond belief. She who was always radiant with an inner beauty (inspite of her tribulations), now seemed like a vague shadow of herself. Her relatives explained that she was suffering from very poor health - both mental & physical - and that the child was her only solace and comfort. They pleaded with Jagan and beseeched him not to assert his rights - atleast not for some years while she could still care for the child herself. Jagan agreed to it with some reluctance, as he could understand her need for the child - since he too hadn't any children, not having remarried.

Continuing to recount his life's events to Venguttu, Jagan told him that he had recently decided to wind up his affairs in Chennai and Delhi, and emigrate to the US, to live with his brother's family for the rest of his life. That's when he had received the letter from Jayshree about their daughter - his daughter - a teenaged one at that whom he hadn't ever seen in his life, not even a photo !

Venguttu who had all along been a very patient listener, now told "Jagan, so your Nemesis have caught up with you ! Don't you remember the old proverb? 'As you sow, so you reap'. You had denied the love that rightfully belonged to Jayshree - and so the affection of your daughter was denied to you all these years. Maybe now God Himself feels that you have suffered enough for your transgressions, and so now your daughter is coming back to you. So make peace with your conscience; don't make it an adversary - but an accessory - so that it will serve you in good stead in the dusk of your life, and prevent you from committing any more moral blunders. Most times in life, a person knows whether what he's doing is morally right or wrong, but only some have the will power to supress the immoral thoughts. Impurities in thought process start to engulf one's conscience - it begins like a Penumbra, leads to an Umbra and then to the total Eclipse of the heart. The heart, which is known as the keeper of Conscience, then either ceases to beat resulting in Death. Or, the person becomes heartless, which is another form of death too, of a much worse kind."

"Ok enough of my lecture - if you let me go on talking, I will start expounding on various philisophies of Life, Religion, Spirituality etc ! For some days atleast you must stay in my house - so that you can recuperate from your poor health and fatigue. In the meantime, I will arrange for the sale of your ancestral property here. Once you are fit again, you can return to Chennai and meet your daughter and look after her with renewed vigour."

Jagan was moved by his friend's affection as well as the logic in his little speech - both of the idealistic kind and the practical ones. So he agreed to Venguttu's bidings and stayed in his house till the properties were sold off. After some days, he returned to Chennai in time for the meeting with his daughter.

On the D-day, he went to Madras Central Station as she was coming by train from Mumbai. Only when the train started moving into the platform did he suddenly realise that he didn't even know what she looked like! Worse than that, he didn't even know her name !! Jayshree's letter had been redirected from Delhi to Chennai, and from there to his native town - because of all this delay there had not been time for him to write back to Jayshree regarding his daughter. The passengers were alighting from the train and were moving in droves towards the station entrance with their luggages. As he wondered how to locate his daughter, he heard someone call "Jagan Uncle" and turned. He looked at the beholder of the voice and stood transfixed - it was Jayshree, still looking like a teengaer! After the initial shock got over, he realised that it was a teenaged girl who looked every bit like Jayshree - it can only be his daughter!

Both looked at each other not knowing what to do. He then covered his embrassment by taking her luggage and sheperding the girl towards the Car park. Once the luggage was loaded into the car and the driver started the car, he asked the teenaged girl - his daughter - how she had found him among the crowd on the platform. She handed over a photo album to him - of him and Jayshree, but moslty of Jagan alone. And not only of those times when he and Jayshree were not divorced, but also snaps of later years. The girl said that, Krishna Uncle had regularly mailed the photos to her mother at Chennai.

So it was Krishna his closest friend in Delhi, who had kept Jayshree abrest of the events in Jagan's life! Maybe Krishna had still hoped for some miraculous rapproachment between the estranged couple? So it was due to Krishnas' painstaking efforts that, Jayshree had now consented to send her daughter - their daughter to live with Jagan, (instead of sending her to relatives) as she could no longer care for her. He felt very grateful to Krishna for this. Krishna's arrival had interrupted a teenager's first kiss so many years ago. Now it was because of the same Krishna that he had received the kiss of life, figuratively speaking.

And he also felt grateful to Jayshree for not denying him a father's righful place in a daughter's life. He felt immense gratitude for Venguttu - for having brought him back to consiousness, in more ways than one.

As the car entered the residential colony located in the city's suburb, he asked his daughter her name - she smiled at him, showing pearly teeth just like Jayshree's, and replied, "NEETU, Jagan Uncle !". So Jayshree had known all along about his affair with his old flame. Oh God how tortured she must have felt, listening to him tell all those lies - that he was going away on official tour, when actually he was going on a sojourn with Neetu. As his relationship with Neetu reached rapturous realms, Jayshree must have been drowning in the dark depths of despair. No wonder she didn't want to share her daughter's affection with him, since she had been forced to share him with another woman. But she had named their daughter as Neetu - so that he will eventually know that she knew all along about the affair, and also maybe as a reminder to him, not to go astray again? He could only guess. As the car entered the drive way, a well spring of fatherly affection sprung in his heart and warmed him. Jagan resolved that he would make it up to Jayshree and would take good care of his daughter, showering all his affection on Neetu (Junior).

As they alighted from the car and entered the modest looking bungalow, Neetu (Jr) asked him, "Uncle is this your house? Very huge and lovely it is !". Jagan patted Neetu's arms and told her, "No Neetu, its not mine alone any more - its yours too from now on.". The house now seemed to him to be suddenly bright and cheerful - unlike the atmosphere last month before his visit to his native town.

"Neetu, you go freshen up and come fast. I will set the table, get the tiffin ready and we can breakfast together."
"Jagan Uncle, won't the cook set the table and all that?"
He smiled at her, "Neetu, this is the first time I am getting the chance to feed my daughter, so let me !".
"Ok Uncle, whatever you say !", she smiled back at him.

One nagging question remained unanswered and he made bold enough to ask her, "All these years you didn't even know me and I couldn't visit you or see you. Don't you feel bad about it and, aren't you angry with me Neetu ?"

"No Jagan Uncle, mom explained to me some days before she was admitted to the hospital (tears welled up in Neetu's eyes) - that whatever happened was not Daddy's fault at all and that she was the one who selfishly parted ways with you, due to her obstinate nature. Mom also told me what a gem of a person you were and that I were to call you 'Dad' right from the moment I see you ! But its kinda awkard for me to start calling you 'Daddy' all of a sudden - can I keep calling you 'Uncle' for some days ? Till I get used to the idea that you're really my father ? Its kinda strange for me, if you know what I mean ?!"

"Oh thats Ok Neetu, you can call me 'Jagan Uncle' as long as you want to, no problem. Maybe when we go for your school admission, you may have to call me 'Dad' in front of the school authorities, because I have filled in your admission forms as the 'father', not just 'guardian' you know !"

"Oh thats Ok Uncle, no probs !"

Even in death Jayshree is protecting me from my daughter's possible wrath, our daughter's possible wrath, Jagan thought. She had taken all the blame upon herself for what went wrong, and with her to the grave. So as to let him, who's still living, to enjoy his fatherhood without blemish. A faint hint of a tear trickled in a corner of his eye, but Jagan quickly turned his face away and brushed away the droplet - it was as if his heart had finally recognised Jayshree's good gesture and was offering this as a token of gratitude. It was as close as he would get - to being emotional in public.

As Jagan moved past the dining room, he saw Jayshree's framed photo on the cupboard nearby, the sun's rays falling on it. Was it his imagination or was it ... ? The usually serious image of his late wife now seemed to be smiling at him. Taking it as some sort of affirmation, Jagan went with renewed vigour into the kitchen, to fetch breakfast for his daughter.

While hovering in the kitchen waiting for the cook to finish making the tiffin, Jagan pondered on the outcome of recent events. He need not go to the US now - he had his own family now. He resolved to call his brother later to inform him about this decision - so that his brother's family need not spend time on organising his stay there. He will stay in Chennai till Neetu's schooling is over. In fact he need not even wind up his affairs in Delhi now; later maybe he will take her to Delhi - just to show the places where he and her mother (his Jayshree) had spent memorable, wonderful times together. Now no one need ask him any more - Where are you going Jagan ? The Quo Vadis question had ended - for he had found his destination, the purpose in his life.


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I gratefully thank all those hubbers who encouraged me to write such a story in the first place, and also those who enthusiastically read each and every episode, motivating me to keep updating it at regular intervals. I also thank Admin RR, and Moderators for clarifying certain points regarding this story.

Stories, alas, are not TV serials, and hence cannot run for 200, 300 episodes, since there're no sponsors, and no ads to watch either. Besides, IMO there's only so much tale that written words can tell. Moreover stories must have ends, whereas TV serials need not !

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All the characters, incidents and situations are entirely a figment of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to actual events, or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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.

[crazy]

:cry2:

:swinghead:

:clap:

:thumbsup: Ramky..............soooooooooooooooper!
very beautiful story :)

[ramky]

Vaasi : :notworthy: :D. but y the cry icon ? :)

[Querida]

Ramky! I almost feel that I have not watched a useless tv serial or a fleeting movie but I have been give the privilege to experience the life of another....through my most favourite medium! I am happy that you do not shy away from unconventionality, it would have been so easy (and shorter) to let all of Jagan's experiences be ideal. I like how Jagan realizes his wrongs, yet like a real person has the motivation to live his life better. I like that Jayshree is not passive yet is still admirable. Though i hate the concept of affairs I could see the humaness that prompted such need for temporary closeness. I also like how you intentionally leave out so many details that you only hint about in Jagan's life...making him a full, rich character.

I hope you can see from my comments the amount of esteem and admiration I have for your talents! :D

[crazy]

Vaasi : :notworthy: :D. but y the cry icon ? :)

story mudinchiruche engira sogam thaan :)

[ramky]

Querida : :notworthy: thnx a lot for ur Analytical appreciations which is itself good to read - i will surely savour it :D.

Vaasi : oh athukka, seri - intha paadalai paarunga :).

NinaivugaL sirukathai, uravugaL thodarkathai,
oru kathai indRu mudiyalaam, oru kathai innum thodaralaam... ;-)

[cancer]

NinaivugaL sirukathai, uravugaL thodarkathai,
oru kathai indRu mudiyalaam, oru kathai innum thodaralaam... ;-)

:yes:

:cool:

[crazy]

Vaasi : oh athukka, seri - intha paadalai paarunga :).

NinaivugaL sirukathai, uravugaL thodarkathai,
oru kathai indRu mudiyalaam, oru kathai innum thodaralaam... ;-)

:)
so innoru story kaivasam irukkunnu sollunga :D

[ramky]

Vaasi : en kaiyila illai, jOlna paiyila irukku :P
anaal sila pala naatkaL aagum ;-)

[crazy]

Vaasi : en kaiyila illai, jOlna paiyila irukku :P
anaal sila pala naatkaL aagum ;-)

ok waiting: :) :D

[pavalamani pragasam]

My salute to the wonderful woman,'Jayashree'! Wow, ramky, you have brilliantly etched a character of noble womanhood! Thanks for making the very average hero of the story making amends in the end! Better late than never! The cameo, Venguttu is superb! A good story, realistically narrated with sustained interest in very smooth flowing style! Well donew, ramky!

[ramky]

PP Madam : Thnx for your excellent, analytical review :notworthy:. It is learned readers like you who motivated me to stick to my original concept of the story instead of 'playing to the gallery'. Thnx once again for being a regular reader of this story :D.

[Lambretta]

Ramky, late tho I may be to comment on ur story (I managed to read the remainaing part only last nite! :)), I must say

WOW!!! AWESOME!! UR STORY HAD ME TOTALLY CAPTIVATED!!! :clap: :clap: :clap: :thumbsup: :yes: :cool2:

Reg. my feelings for teh characters....

:( :cry: abt Jayasree......

:evil: abt Jagan, altho he did get his just desserts ultimately

:roll: abt Neetu

:thumbsup: abt Krishna & Venguttu

Well, tats all I can for now.......lookin fwd to more gr8 stories from u in future of course! :)

[Designer]

thnx Shyam :D. for your comments as well as for taking the trouble to read it patiently. its a pleasant surprise to receive comments & appreciation after so many days :). i had begun another serious story some time back, but had not continued it.

Btw there's one comedy story too, if ur interested - "Oru Mouse Web Browse Seygirathu". But its more of 'kadi' jokes kinda humour - wonder if its ur cup of tea :)

http://forumhub.mayyam.com/hub/viewtopic.php?t=7117&start=0

[Shakthiprabha.]

:|

Happenings of every individual.

Dark secrets of most human beings, if brought to light would stink as much.

I just WISH, jagan would have married neetu, and converted the affair into fulfledge marriage :roll: (ofcourse neetu (jr) would be living with them as their daughter...)

SIGH... if only practical solutions were as simple as written ones!!

Somehow... i feel sad for......

NEETU :|

[Shakthiprabha.]

Sheesh I feel really really really sad...

for JAYSHREE, and NEETU and JAGAN too. :cry2:

Its ... probably cause I read all episodes together...

was like living (not reading) a novel or tv serial like Querida pointed out.

A DIFFERENT WORLD.

I just wish JAYSHREE had known, how much jagan loved her too :cry2:

I wish she had not died.

I wish jagan had married Neetu

So many things we WISH in life...

all of us keep saying...

I wish ..
I wish ..
I wish...

man proposes... god..... :roll:

[Designer]

Sheesh I feel really really really sad...

for JAYSHREE, and NEETU and JAGAN too. :cry2:

Its ... probably cause I read all episodes together...

was like living (not reading) a novel or tv serial like Querida pointed out.

A DIFFERENT WORLD.
----
man proposes... god..... :roll:

PL : thnx for your comments :D. I am glad this story seemed almost real for many of you. Like you pointed out -

Man plans it
and God bans it

:)

[hi]

Hi Ramky,

I just read the whole story.. awesome narration :clap: :D

i feel sad for jayashree ... In the name of love he hurt jayashree and drift all the happiness in her life ..

applause for krishna and vengattu

[Designer]

Anjali : thnx a lot :D. Its a pleasant surprise to receive such comments after so many weeks :)

[Lambretta]

Anjali : thnx a lot :D. Its a pleasant surprise to receive such comments after so many weeks :)
And guess who started it all! :mrgreen: 8-) :lol:

[Designer]

Anjali : thnx a lot :D. Its a pleasant surprise to receive such comments after so many weeks :)
And guess who started it all! :mrgreen: 8-) :lol:

Shyam : thnx once more ! :D

[Lambretta]

Ur welcome Ram! :D

[raagadevan]

Hi Ramky:

Great story. I really liked reading it. The people in the story are real; their feelings are real; the situations are real; and you narrate it all very well without being judgmental or preachy. What more could I say?

A friendly comment though; a simpler (less wordy) narration would probably have made the story even more appealing to a wider cross section of readers.

Keep up the good work :)

[Designer]

Thnx very much raagadevan :D. It's once again a pleasant surprise to receive comments for this story after more than coupla years ! I will definitely keep in mind your suggestions when I write the next story. :)

[Querida]

I will definitely keep in mind your suggestions when I write the next story.

:D :2thumbsup:

[Designer]

Hi & thnx Q :D . But sorry to dissappoint - am not having any plans for a story right now; maybe in the near/distant future. :)