What to do on irritating habitual arguers

[phil]

Many times we find friends, family members who irritate us by simply arguing and not agreeing to what we mention. We know they are wrong, but when they refuse to listen and accept we get pissed off. If we resort not to arguing, then they take advantage over us. Any suggestions on this. Please help.

[Hulkster]

Phil, Anger is a emotion that can make us utter words that we never mean...in other words its like a possesion that can lead to losing our love ones...or do things that we neva mean to do.

Trying to rebutt heated arguments only increases the anger of both parties and in the end the matter arrives at no conclusion but just more tension and possibly loggerheads. When they are wrong and they cant accept it, the best way is to keep your anger in your mind and talk to them in a calm manner...when you think calmly you can think of how to prove them that they are wrong. Usually when people are angry its normal for them to rebutt everything as this can mean they are "surrendering". But if you accept what they say with a smile...and talk to them calmly and raise the points where they are wrong...they will understand and slowly drop their anger and try to grasp what your trying to say.

For example. When someone knows he was in the wrong for stealing that umbrella and he thinks that since it is nobody's it is okay to steal, you tell him like this.

"My friend/brother/sister, i do know that your not a thief and you did not really mean it...but you must understand that these things are not ours even if nobody claims it...what happens if the person who comes for his umbrella accuses you of stealing and tries to call the police...you must know that these will only lead to you being disgraced. As a friend i do not wish to see you disgraced...that is why im pointing out that stealing is wrong even if nobody claims it...i hope you understand and if i meant any offense..forgive me..:) "

Usually by addressing the person in a caring way and by stating no offense meant and forgive me if i had said anything wrong...the angry person will realise that your not trying to rebutt him/her and he/she will slowly come to terms and start discussing with you in a more acceptable manner. Remember that only care and politeness can destroy the anger within others...by trying to rebutt their angry words they will get the impression of you as a enemy and will never agree with you...but speak in a caring way and even the hottest of words will cool down.

Hope this helps you my friend...i would like to note again that anger is the cause of destruction and misery...be careful with how you deal with it..cause it can also hurt you and the other person...:)

[phil]

There is a saying that the best thing to win an argument is not to argue. Sometimes i do try to politely explain people, and they keep politely refusing what i say. I am like omg. I know one guy who says something for each and every word I utter. I never heard him saying yes on any reason. If you say something obvious such as Americas president is Bush, he will give a reply that Bush is just a temporary president etc. :D :shock: On the other hand i have friends who are good listeners and who are really smart guys

[Hulkster]

Sometimes people like what you say have you as their enemies in their minds...so they will tend to rebutt you even if you say politely....but you have to continue being polite to them...the more they realise that your not interested in a heated talk...they will come down themselves...it may take time...but it is worth the time...:)

[phil]

Sometimes people like what you say have you as their enemies in their minds...so they will tend to rebutt you even if you say politely....but you have to continue being polite to them...the more they realise that your not interested in a heated talk...they will come down themselves...it may take time...but it is worth the time...:)


True, i agree with you. :D. Let me try that. See how i am nice, i agree with what you say.

[Hulkster]

Best of luck my friend...:thumbsup:..:D

[Shakthiprabha.]

Phil,

All of us are different. My suggestions may not be too eagerly accepted or liked by you. Although, I may like to say my views on how I handle ppl who argue with me.


1. Talk ur point politely back
2. Do they refuse? Talk ur point with lil stress yet politely.
3. They still refuse, ACCEPT THEM AS THEY ARE.

Everybody has rights to have their views. We are not here to impose or thrust or stuff our views upon them. Its a free world after all.

If they try to take advantage of u, based on these, just warn them politely. They wont do it again.

They need space.
Tell them u also need space.

[thamizhvaanan]

I disagree with u :evil:

:lol:

u r right SP. i normally dont find much fault with people, if at all so, i take it as a part of life, and try look for the better half of the ppl.

[Shakthiprabha.]

precisely tv.

WE cant go around, makign everybody agree wtih our way of thinking.

If they are receptive and we have sense, they would automatically say yes.

If they are NOT RECEPTIVE, its their problem not mine :)

[rachel]

8-)

[great]

8-)

so you have read this thread :evil: :twisted:

[rachel]

8-)

so you have read this thread :evil: :twisted:

:oops: why? it's about anger and argument....

[Alan]

Phil, such ppl are there everywhere- I think they just find joy in the act of "arguing"- Why can't they all go & join a law School-lol!

Well, I think its best you keep quiet, when they argue- I remember a saying "Only fools argue"- so, its best to refrain from arguing further.

I don't know how old u are..........assuming u r a coll/school student, invest your time & energy in good friends, not silly arguers.

Ur big bro,
Alan

[Alan]

Phil, such ppl are there everywhere- I think they just find joy in the act of "arguing"- Why can't they all go & join a law School-lol!

Well, I think its best you keep quiet, when they argue- I remember a saying "Only fools argue"- so, its best to refrain from arguing further.

I don't know how old u are..........assuming u r a coll/school student, invest your time & energy in good friends, not silly arguers.

Ur big bro,
Alan

[thamizhvaanan]

8-)

rachel, i seriously want to know, wether u post anything else other than smileys. everytime, i only see this fellow with sunglasses, smiling stupidly. pls elaborate :D

[sgokulprathap]

8-)

rachel, i seriously want to know, wether u post anything else other than smileys. everytime, i only see this fellow with sunglasses, smiling stupidly. pls elaborate :D
8-)

[rachel]

8-)

rachel, i seriously want to know, wether u post anything else other than smileys. everytime, i only see this fellow with sunglasses, smiling stupidly. pls elaborate :D

that stupid fellow belongs to admin guys.... :lol:

i do get angry sometimes....at the time thalaiyillae orae podu dhan :lol: ..no vetti pechu... :lol:

[thamizhvaanan]

8-)

rachel,
u r getting quite a good fan following :lol:


i do get angry sometimes....at the time thalaiyillae orae podu dhan ..no vetti pechu...

sathiyama unga kooda naan argue panna maatein. edhukku risku :roll:

[crazy]

i have a good idea, my personal experience!

i used to argue constantly with them, they never give up, neither do i! so i stopped talking to them. i feel quite well. i dont get depressed, neither pissed! even though i come across such ppl(no i live with such ppl) i just shut my ears!

only sad thing is that u might easily earn bad names! as i did and iam!
thimirpidichadhu, vaaiyaadhi blah blah blah! anyway its much better to to be called this way, rather speaking to them!

[Ghlli]

punch them on the nose :rotfl:

[Thunderbird]

ithuku thaane katti pidi vaithiyam irukku :huh:

[Ghlli]

:rotfl:

[rachel]

ithuku thaane katti pidi vaithiyam irukku :huh:

:lol:

[Sanguine Sridhar]

Phil,
If somebody dont understand you that also means that you dont understand them..There are always two side to a coin.Kindly think

[crazy]

i dont think so
some ppl r just out of their mind, nothing helps!
its better to leave them alone or just get rid of them by not talking to them.

[Raikkonen]

argue with them

[Surya]

Raik maams!! :D

R u on Orkut now? :D

[Raikkonen]

Yessungo Sithappa...

[Surya]

Should-a known u were iceman with the ilena avatar periyappa. :P

[Raikkonen]

Yessu....

[bingleguy]

True ! Some ppl argue, n sometimes they may go worthlessly too ! but i remember a stat

If you are saying someone is judgemental, arent you being judgemental yourself?

[Anoushka]

Many times we find friends, family members who irritate us by simply arguing and not agreeing to what we mention. We know they are wrong, but when they refuse to listen and accept we get pissed off. If we resort not to arguing, then they take advantage over us. Any suggestions on this. Please help.

Phil, what can be right to one can be wrong to other! It all depends on what one believes. For example, I can say that God doesn't exist and you can say God exists. We can keep arguing and either of us can easily get frustrated thinking, I know I am right and he/she is wrong, why can't they clearly see and agree with me!

The best thing you can do is to tell them that you accept that they can have a different view/opinion on things and your opinion is different from theirs. That way it is not an argument, you get to share your view, and also acknowledge that other people can have different views :)

[nms]

There goes a saying " Dont fight with an ugly pig".

It's better we stop arguing with people who argue fro the sake of arguing.

Why let your ego get hurted since a person doesn't accept your views..??