Can a girl be friends with a guy who has a crush on her?

[Bipolar]

Hey girls... I have a question... Would a girl be comfortable being friends with a guy if she knows he has a crush in her? I mean... consider the following situation:

I'm twenty-four years old (but, I'm not very mature... so, my mental age is my biological age minus ten...). I have a crush on a female friend of mine (She's not the first woman I've had a crush on). But, I just want to be friends with her, I don't want to ask her out or anything... (my parents have decreed that I am going to have an arranged marriage). Can a girl be friends with a guy if she knows he has a crush on her, but his intentions as a friend are honourable?

I have a lot of respect for men who can be "just friends" with a good-looking woman. Of course, I'd keep it strictly platonic too - on the surface - but I'd secretly have a crush on her (if she's good-looking), and then I'd feel guilty about it. I think it's a lot easier for a woman to resist feeling attracted to good-looking men - or is it just the same for women?

[Hulkster]

I may not be a girl but i can give you my opinion on this matter.

Being friends with a girl you have a crush on is quite hard as at times your feelings for her and also at the same time your willingness to be just a friend can interplay and disturb your mindset. Even if you are intent on establishing friendship with her, you must be totally confident that your feelings will not affect you wanting to be friends with her.

Let me tell you that it seems ok when you at first decided that your crush will not disturb your friendship but when you become friends with her, your mindset can change due to that crush existing in you. In my opinion it is best you ensure that your crush or infatuation is worn off before you decide to go friends with her.

Besides this, there is a chance that your crush may be forcing you to become friends with her so that you can somehow impress her with your character..such things are normal and has happened before so ensure that it is not the work of your crush to be friends with her and rather it should be of your own conscience.

Girls do accept a guy who want to be friends with them but they will not entertain people who want to become friends just for the sake of impressing them or have a crush on them. Girls value friendship alot and some of them might see you as a cheat or a fraud who used frienship to get closer to them even if your intentions are nothing of that sort.

As for the good looking part, it is normal for every human to be attracted to good looks as humans tend to get attracted by anything materialistic like money beauty etc. This can be resisted depending on how good your self control and determination to view girls by their character rather than their beauty. Girls although at times they do get attracted by good looks, they usually go for the character and heart or someone who really cares and appreciates their feelings. I have seen most girls with boys who are not brad pitt type but they are decent and appreciative of their lovers.

The reason why it seems "alot easier" is due to girls having the ability to appreciate feelings and sentiments of others. Girls when they grow up tend to interact with their surroundings through feelings and emotions and have a better understanding of what they want and what they need. They are also quite soft hearted. The best example is think of a girl like a flower. Not only are flowers beautiful, they bloom and grow only if someone cares for them...if not their petals(girls heart) drops down and it withers in the end. The same can be applied to girls as they tend to "grow" if someone cares for them and that is why it seems "easier" for girls to accept men who are not good looking but care for them.

These are my views and the girls here can correct me if they find something wrong...i was just looking from a girl's point of view. Hope that helps you Bipolar...:D

[krishnan]

Good reply there dude.

By the way bipolar what's ur original id @ the hub? :lol:

[Bipolar]

Hey Krishnan, my original ID @ the Hub is Bipolar.

Hey Hulkster, thanks for your reply, I mean, thanks for taking the time to reply to me. I like the way you say a girl is like a flower. Very true, especially my girl, she really is like a flower! She's good-looking, and she's a really sweet person, and I do think of her as a flower!

But I'd like to hear from the girls here. Have any of you ever had male friends, who had a crush on you, but didn't really want to go out with you? You see, as a man myself, I would be totally comfortable (even a little flattered) being friends with a woman even if I knew that she had a crush on me - as long as our relationship didn't go beyond friendship. But what's the view of the women here?

[nilavupriyan]

irukalam...andha payyan gunava illadha patchathula

[goodsense]

If I know a man has a crush one me and only want to be friends with me (whether or not he has another woman), I would avoid him. I would not give him that satisfaction of being my friend when he has reserved intentions. It means that once he has explored the friendship, the crush will be over and he would develop other interest. I will leave him to always wonder what it would have been like.

[crazy]

so sad, i have no experince :cry:
but i think she can be a friend!

[Hulkster]

so sad, i have no experince :cry:
but i think she can be a friend!

Enna kodumai crazy raasathi ithu....ungalakku yentha anubavumum elleiya?..:D...yenukkum ellei..:oops:


No problem Bipolar...as i said..follow your heart and your mind...if you believe your heart is urging you...you will be advised not to befriend her...if your mind is sure you can be of no problems...then you can befriend her...but remember that the heart can overpower your mind once you befriend her...make a wise choice and good luck bro..:thumbsup:

[bingleguy]

probably it may not work out !

[selvakumar]

I may not be a girl but i can give you my opinion on this matter.

Hulk,,.. confusion ah !!! ??? :lol:

Just kidding

[crazy]

so sad, i have no experince :cry:
but i think she can be a friend!

Enna kodumai crazy raasathi ithu....ungalakku yentha anubavumum elleiya?..:D...yenukkum ellei..:oops:
:

so sad
two unlucky fellow on this hub :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
GOD IF U R WATCHINF THIS TREAD, PLS DO SEND ME AND HULK SOME SWEETHEARTS! WE NEED ANUBAVAM :cry:

[Hulkster]

I may not be a girl but i can give you my opinion on this matter.

Hulk,,.. confusion ah !!! ??? :lol:

Just kidding

aahaa...marupadiyum vanthu yennai attack pennitaengelae selva sir...:(...enimel naan yentha ponnum threadulae post penna mattein..:D

crazy intha mathiri na kaduvul anubavam kodukka mataar...aruvaal veichi vettuvaar...vidunga..namma thalai yeluthu evalavu thaan...:(

[crazy]

[quote="Hulkstercrazy intha mathiri na kaduvul anubavam kodukka mataar...aruvaal veichi vettuvaar...vidunga..namma thalai yeluthu evalavu thaan...:([/quote]

enna panna, naan thaan edho unluckunnu ninachen, che neengaluma .....................i thought u might have a lot of experience!

[bingleguy]

oh ,,, inga pesaravanga lellam experienced a :lol:

[crazy]

oh ,,, inga pesaravanga lellam experienced a :lol:

enn illaya?neengaluma bg appo andha unlucky listla seraporeenga! good no 3 is good!

[goodsense]

Crazy,

Not everything we say comes from experience. Sometimes, it's based on our analysis or exerience of those around us. Just take the info, don't bother whether it comes from one's experience or not. That can put people off from discussing since they think they might be judged. This is already the case where some of us don't want to comment on certain issues sicne where information is coming from their marital status etc. does matter to some people.

[crazy]

hi good sense akka,
good to see/catch u? how r u?
actually i really dont care about such things, iam just wandering here and there and gathering info?!
but anyway its so sad that i have no experince :cry: :) :roll:

[Hulkster]

Yeaps...i support goodsense madam's post...usually most of my posts are based on analysis and a careful walkthrough of possible scenarios and viewpoints of others.....i myself have no experience in love,crushes and most matters which are talked in this hub.

[crazy]

Yeaps...i support goodsense madam's post...usually most of my posts are based on analysis and a careful walkthrough of possible scenarios and viewpoints of others.....i myself have no experience in love,crushes and most matters which are talked in this hub.

yeah yeah we know we know!

[Fire111999]

Yeaps...i support goodsense madam's post...usually most of my posts are based on analysis and a careful walkthrough of possible scenarios and viewpoints of others.....i myself have no experience in love,crushes and most matters which are talked in this hub.

yeah yeah we know we know!

:lol: good one crazy!

[Hulkster]

Crazy..yennai nakkal adikiraengela?.:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

[Hulkster]

Yeaps...i support goodsense madam's post...usually most of my posts are based on analysis and a careful walkthrough of possible scenarios and viewpoints of others.....i myself have no experience in love,crushes and most matters which are talked in this hub.

yeah yeah we know we know!

:lol: good one crazy!

if you dunt mind ungalai serupaalae adikalama?..:D

[crazy]

Crazy..yennai nakkal adikiraengela?.:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

to be honest i was thinking about what u wrote in tread like poverty/ rape- should women stay alone etc etc and was lauging to myself!

[Fire111999]

Yeaps...i support goodsense madam's post...usually most of my posts are based on analysis and a careful walkthrough of possible scenarios and viewpoints of others.....i myself have no experience in love,crushes and most matters which are talked in this hub.

yeah yeah we know we know!

:lol: good one crazy!

if you dunt mind ungalai serupaalae adikalama?..:D

excuse me?

anyway, ungalaala mudiyathu! it's 2 against 1! :wink:

[Hulkster]

mudiyaatha..:shock:...seri paravalae yennodeiya thalaiyeluthu avalavu thaan...atleast naan crazyai chellama serupaalae adikalama?

[Fire111999]

Crazy..yennai nakkal adikiraengela?.:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

to be honest i was thinking about what u wrote in tread like poverty/ rape- should women stay alone etc etc and was lauging to myself!

yeah! esp abt what he said abt rape!

[crazy]

yes fire we 2 and he 1! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Fire111999]

yes fire we 2 and he 1! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

yes crazy! anyway, back to the topic.

i think the girl wouldn't feel comfortable. would prob avoid.

[crazy]

mudiyaatha..:shock:...seri paravalae yennodeiya thalaiyeluthu avalavu thaan...atleast naan crazyai chellama serupaalae adikalama?

oh thaaralama, why not! but u should not get mad if naanum ungla seruppala adicha!? ok, then deal?

[Hulkster]

aahaa oru appaaviyai torture pennuruthukkae oru kootam alaiyethu...:cry:...yennai peitha theivamae badhrakaliyae..unnodeiya vamsamae yennai torture pennuraangalae ithu unukku porukka villeiya?..:cry:

[crazy]

Crazy..yennai nakkal adikiraengela?.:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

to be honest i was thinking about what u wrote in tread like poverty/ rape- should women stay alone etc etc and was lauging to myself!

yeah! esp abt what he said abt rape!

exactly i cant still forget that!

[Hulkster]

wokay wokay..no problem...except u must hit me with one hit and no more then that..:D

[crazy]

wokay wokay..no problem...except u must hit me with one hit and no more then that..:D

ok deal?!

[Hulkster]

athaan wokay nu sollitaen leh...:x

[crazy]

athaan wokay nu sollitaen leh...:x

serippa!

[Alan]

Well, Brinda & I started out having a crush on each other - both kept quiet for months & months- suddenly, it just got to the point we could not hide it any longer- both had sensed it about the other- it was difficult to hide because we kept seeing each other for family get to gethers, weddings , gurudwara functions etc etc- I was then in my 6th sem & she in std 11) We were both in Mumbai then- I mean, our families.

First, the only idea was to impress the other, then it developed to deep friendship - love has always been a silent but omnipresent feeling.

We are still great friends & discuss everything. I just hope the Almighty gives us many many happy years together!

[Fire111999]

alan you're talking abt ur wife right?

i think this question is more like can the girl be friends with the guy even if she doesn't have a crush on him as well. there is no prob for couples to be friends as well.

[Querida]

Hey Crazy, Fire use high heel :twisted:

sorry couldn't resist :oops: :D

anyways yeah crazy that is crazy for asking for such emotionally traumatic experience...there is no safe way to this...why don't you watch the recent tamil movies...that's a theme they keep playing on, you know all the girls in the movie say "hey you only were nice to me cause you loved me?...what the hell that's not fair..blah blah ad nauseum"

[Hulkster]

Querida any views on Bipolar's query and what he should do?..forget Crazy she will get a seruppu adi later...Bipolar needs help here.

[Querida]

Hulkster if they use high heel you can use a boot :twisted: (have to be fair you know) :wink:

anyways I think if Bipolar you really value your friendship then you should not continue being dishonest, and because since this seems to be a frequent happening with you, I would like to comment that friendship can endure but a crush with one ugly arugment, difference of opinion, etc. "crushes" the idyllic view of the person, but if you must persist than do so by following Hulkster's advice

[Hulkster]

I dunt think my face will be same once they use high heels...i will certainly have a punctured look and my morale will be too low to even think of doing anything else.

Bipolar if your still around hope you understand what you need to do...if you choose to be friends with her...just be careful your crush does not get into you...good luck for you endeavors..:thumbsup:

[Raikkonen]

Can a GUY be friends with a GIRL who has a crush on him?

Yes..
If the girl has a beautiful Sis

[Hulkster]

NTR...intha mathiri na naatulae ellarum ithu thaan seivaanga...approm ponnungalakku panjamae poidum.

Seriousa views kodunga pa..:D

[Raikkonen]

Serious ah Apdina?

Girl be friends enna solrathu..
Ipdi enakku oru tadava nadatnithurukku..
After that i never saw that girl...
:lol:

[Alan]

alan you're talking abt ur wife right?

i think this question is more like can the girl be friends with the guy even if she doesn't have a crush on him as well. there is no prob for couples to be friends as well.

Yes, I know- But I was just saying that our crush turned into friendship- :D not the otherway round.

Btw, Querida, u were the only person who did not wish me, for my wedding. :(

[Querida]

Oh Alan, I'm so sorry it is only after you mentioned that I thought to check Hubber's Events, :oops: :oops: :oops: I knew that you said you were going to see your wife but not that you had gotten married, Of course I wish to congratulate you and wish you both a very happy married life:

"May the Love that the two of you pledge together, be a promise of the many joys a wonderful marriage brings."

[bingleguy]

CRUSH !

well is it a sin to have it ? :roll:

[Hulkster]

If crush was a sin ellarukkum anniyan punishment thaan...its a feeling/infatuation that comes and goes that can lead to love or can die off the way it came...normal human feelings.

[Raikkonen]

Enakku Bipasha Basu mela oru crush irukku..
Appa enakku Kabeem Kubeem ah?

[Hulkster]

Ithukku peru veena vambu theduruthu...rombo perukku BB melae crush irukku....anaal friends aga kashtam...avanga security guard ungalakku sangu uthiduvaanga.

[Raikkonen]

Securty sonnan kurathukellam ennala avangale nenaikkama irukka mudyathu

[Hulkster]

Appo na neenga thaan aduttha Guna...antha kaduvul thaan enimel vali kaatunum...:D

[Raikkonen]

Ipdi loose thaname yethavathu pannana yenga vootula enakku Kumbi Bojanam than..

[Hulkster]

:lol:....ellam anniyan punishmenta irukku...pathinettu patti rules padi punishment kideiyaatha?...seri seri..let us not go off topic and let others post their views.

[crazy]

Hey Crazy, Fire use high heel :twisted:

sorry couldn't resist :oops: :D

anyways yeah crazy that is crazy for asking for such emotionally traumatic experience...there is no safe way to this...why don't you watch the recent tamil movies...that's a theme they keep playing on, you know all the girls in the movie say "hey you only were nice to me cause you loved me?...what the hell that's not fair..blah blah ad nauseum"

what a punch? :roll:
pardon me, but what r u trying to say?

[Querida]

i'm sorry i guess you forgot your punchline and argument, anyways all i was saying was: to wish for such an experience is foolhardy, if you still are dying to have such an experience watch a movie instead...clear now?

[Alan]

Thanks for the wishes, Q- I wasn't complaining actually! :-)

[Alan]

Thanks for the wishes, Q- I wasn't complaining actually! :-)

[crazy]

Q i already got sick of these movies! but thats true!
i dont want any experience i was just kidding! its good to stay alone!

[Ghlli]

off course why not...otherwise i will never have any friends who are boys :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

hows my joke? :roll:

funny? :roll: not funny :roll:

[Thunderbird]

It's so strange a boy having boy friends :roll:


(ghlli, mine is funnier :poke: )

[Ghlli]

i know people are gay in this world :rotfl: nothing unusual :rotfl:

[crazy]

we should not talk about gays here!

[Ghlli]

okkie dokkiee....lolz....