Love Marriage Vs Arranged Marriage

[hi]

In my opinion....

Love marriage

- Get to the know the person well
- Lot of hurdles to face... (difficult to convince the parents.. caste issues)
- May / May not get the blessings frm parents
- ASTROLOGY IS A BIG ISSUE

Arranged Marriage

- any problems.. in marriage life can be confronted easily as there will be a strong support frm ... parents

[aiwa]

in my case arranged marriage will only happen ...so ... i better support it ..

love and love marriages ....i dunt knw ...love is really complex .....unless it is sincere ..... marriage doesnt work out ....

arranged marriage is exciting ...
both have to deliberately put in efforts to understand each other or please one another ...and it turns out to be exciting and exhilarating .....

[Raikkonen]

Haha..
then parents should point at a girl, and ask their son love her..

Love come Arrange marriage

[crazy]

maybe i will go for love marriage!
but i don't think its so easy to fall in love either.
better stay single :lol: for a while, then ur parents will give up on u and then u might have some time to think and find a better solution "love or arranged"!?
mhm live together, quite ok, but namma cultureukku othu varadhu. :roll:
I sometimes use to think that marriage will be going smoothly if i get married to a man much elder than me, around 10-15 yrs!
what do u think?

[Raikkonen]

Smooth but boring

[great]

How about arrange cum love marraige ..... Instead of love cum arrange maraige :o

[crazy]

Smooth but boring

maybe But i feel like i need somone who can take care of me(just like father, i never had those love from my father), walk with me, talk in kind and sweet voice?!!
well i know this is weird, but it's just a thought that comes across! :roll:

[swathy]

Love marriage is good if both are genuine.

In case of arranged marriage You join with them only when they are settled. No one will marry jobless guy (in case of arranged marriage).

but in case of love marriage love starts even at the stage when they are unemployed.

Its too good to love someone when they are struggling, share the pain and pleasure and marry when they are settled.

I know it's nice to say but is not possible for many in real life. :lol:

Arranged marriage in many cases is a business but as mentioned already You'll get support from parents.

[Fire111999]

in my case arranged marriage will only happen ...so ... i better support it ..

love and love marriages ....i dunt knw ...love is really complex .....unless it is sincere ..... marriage doesnt work out ....

arranged marriage is exciting ...
both have to deliberately put in efforts to understand each other or please one another ...and it turns out to be exciting and exhilarating .....

both love and arranged marriages need effort, but in love marraiges pple don't seem to feel this need so much and this might spoil the marriage unless their love is extremely strong. in arranged marriages, pple feel this need as they have to build up love for each other and this helps the marriage. but if it's a bad match, an arranged marriage might not work out.

so i feel that, if arranged marriage, the couple have to try and get to know each other and find out if they suit each other before the marriage. and if love marriage, then the couple has to be aware that marriage will not be smooth flowing and lots of understanding, compromise etc is required. since the couple love each other, there will not be any problem in being understanding or compromising, just in that the couple might not recognise that problems would arise despite the fact that they knew each other before marriage.

p.s. i don't know if i expressed myself properly. i hope i haven't muddled it up

[Fire111999]

Love marriage is good if both are genuine.

In case of arranged marriage You join with them only when they are settled. No one will marry jobless guy (in case of arranged marriage).

but in case of love marriage love starts even at the stage when they are unemployed.

Its too good to love someone when they are struggling, share the pain and pleasure and marry when they are settled.

I know it's nice to say but is not possible for many in real life. :lol:

Arranged marriage in many cases is a business but as mentioned already You'll get support from parents.

mostly true. but perhaps not always strictly accurate. of course not to a jobless guy, but to someone who is still coming up. for eg, the cobra beer (an indian beer company in the uk) guy got married (arranged) while his company was still struggling to come up. though his company is really big now, they couldn't have known that his company would succeed when they married the girl to him!

i agree that it is good if you are there to show support when the other person is growing and can share the experience with that person.

yeah, i agree that in arranged marriages, there would be support from the parents. but it would be bad if the couple blames the parents if the marriage doesn't work out. and in love marriages, if there is a lack of support, that itself might cause the couple to try harder to make their marriage work. i'm not sure.

[hi]

There is a higher % of divorce in Love marriage than arranged one's..

probably becoz.. when they r in courtship.. they try to impress the girl... but after marriage fail to maintain it... :roll:

[Fire111999]

There is a higher % of divorce in Love marriage than arranged one's..

probably becoz.. when they r in courtship.. they try to impress the girl... but after marriage fail to maintain it... :roll:

probably. it's difficult to act nice all the time.

but this wouldn't be a problem if they feel in love without proper courtship, if u know what i mean. then they would know what each other is like.

[Shakthiprabha.]

Just one question...............

How can we fall in love IMMEDIATELY with a person............... who is been arranged BY THE WHOLEEEEEEEEEEEE FAMILY, cause of various PRACTICAL reasons

I personally feel in love mariages, PPL ARE IN LOVE so....... they get married

In arranged marraiages............. PPL ARE SANE, PRACTICAL, SELFISH TO SEE THEIR MATERIAL NEEDS FIRST(throw ur emotions in dustbin) .................. THEN FINALLY SLOWWWWWLY they fall in love....... (may take months or sometime even a year :roll: ).

I do not personally subscribe to arrange marriages for various personal views which is LIL EMBARASSING to be discussed here.

[hi]

In arranged marriage.. just by seeing his/her financial status.. studies and family BG.. ppl will agree to get married.. without giving room to emotions...

[Fire111999]

Just one question...............

How can we fall in love IMMEDIATELY with a person............... who is been arranged BY THE WHOLEEEEEEEEEEEE FAMILY, cause of various PRACTICAL reasons

I personally feel in love mariages, PPL ARE IN LOVE so....... they get married

In arranged marraiages............. PPL ARE SANE, PRACTICAL, SELFISH TO SEE THEIR MATERIAL NEEDS FIRST(throw ur emotions in dustbin) .................. THEN FINALLY SLOWWWWWLY they fall in love....... (may take months or sometime even a year :roll: ).

I do not personally subscribe to arrange marriages for various personal views which is LIL EMBARASSING to be discussed here.

i don't think it is possible for one to immediately fall in love. that's why i think they should get to know each other before marriage.

i'm personally not sure which type of marriage to support.

but since i am too insecure emotionally to fall in love in case the love doesn't lead up to marriage, i'd go with arranged. i couldn't fall in love with someone and then marry someone else. so i'd rather fall in love with the person i marry!

[Sandeep]

Why worry about which is better.

If in the process of living you happen to meet someone and want to spend your life (huh!) with them then fall in love and get married. Otherwise when time comes your family will help you out.

[swathy]

Both Love and arranged has its own plus and minus. It depends on the individuals.
I strongly believe that marriage is the decision by the super power.



Innarukku Innar endru yeludhivaithane devan andru

[Sanguine Sridhar]

Both Love and arranged has its own plus and minus. It depends on the individuals.
I strongly believe that marriage is the decision by the super power.
Innarukku Innar endru yeludhivaithane devan andru

I believe the question is Love vs Arranged! Give us your comment..Which one is better? And not the percentage.Huh!! :?

[swathy]

Both Love and arranged has its own plus and minus. It depends on the individuals.
I strongly believe that marriage is the decision by the super power.
Innarukku Innar endru yeludhivaithane devan andru

I believe the question is Love vs Arranged! Give us your comment..Which one is better? And not the percentage.Huh!! :?

I have given already. chk previous page.

yendha threadla last post swathynnu thedittu varuviya?

[Fire111999]

Why worry about which is better.

If in the process of living you happen to meet someone and want to spend your life (huh!) with them then fall in love and get married. Otherwise when time comes your family will help you out.

i guess so. but i have reservations abt letting myself fall in love cos it might not end in marriage.

[selvakumar]

Love Marriage
--------------

"It is happens like a soft breeze and continus throughout life (the feeling). Also, Love blossoms (pure love) like a flower and grows in a spontaneous way and in a healthy atmosphere

Arranged Marriage
--------------------

This is like - PUTTING TWO BIRDS IN A CAGE AND ASKING THEM TO FALL IN LOVE & LAUGHING AT THEIR ACTIONS BY VIEWING IT FROM OUTSIDE.

It is like

FALL IN LOVE.. WON'T YOU :evil: :hammer:

FALL IN LOVE.. WON'T YOU :evil: :hammer:

FALL IN LOVE.. WON'T YOU :evil: :hammer:

:banghead:

It is LIke

"KuYiLa pudichi KooNdiL AdaChi, LOVE PANAN SOLLURA ULAGAM" :banghead:

[swathy]

Your comments on Arranged marriage is true and funny.

On Love marriage its ur dream.

Kaanum kanavugalil Inbam Inbam
Unmai adharkku vegu dhooram dhooram

[Shakthiprabha.]

selvakumar,

In olden days, yes, its true. Whether u are in love or not, u were forced to live together. These days ITS NOT SO, they opt out of marriage.

It may take time to fall in love, when it happens, its just the same as love marriage.

[Fire111999]

selvakumar,

In olden days, yes, its true. Whether u are in love or not, u were forced to live together. These days ITS NOT SO, they opt out of marriage.

It may take time to fall in love, when it happens, its just the same as love marriage.

i agree with you there.

and also, nowadays, pple are given more time to get to know each other before marriage, so if they really don't like each other, they don't have to get married. for e.g. my sister's senior got engaged sometime last year, but her marriage is in june this year. and my cousin sister got engaged in dec last year and her marriage is in august this year.

[selvakumar]

selvakumar,

In olden days, yes, its true. Whether u are in love or not, u were forced to live together. These days ITS NOT SO, they opt out of marriage.

It may take time to fall in love, when it happens, its just the same as love marriage.

Sure SP.. If we are made to restrict ourself in caring about only one girl / guy, definitly OUT OF DESPERATION, IT WILL HAPPEN.

"IT IS LIKE - FORCING U TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE PERSON ALONE, MAKING YOURSELF ADJUSTING TO THEM RATHER THAN BEING NATURAL"

:banghead:

[P_R]

No offence in what follows.
How does one, over a couple of bondas and coffee, decide whether so-and-so is the right person to spend the rest of one's life with ? The trading of photographs without even knowing who's going to have a look at them. "KudumbathOda sErndhu sight adikkaradhu" all seem really curious to me. It smacks of double standards in families, where the kids are discouraged from internalising the whole process.


better stay single Laughing for a while, then ur parents will give up on u and then u might have some time to think and find a better solution "love or arranged"!? Hmm. Nice strategy.

[Raikkonen]

Love come Arrange is Lovvu
Arrange come Love is Javvu

[selvakumar]

No offence in what follows.
How does one, over a couple of bondas and coffee, decide whether so-and-so is the right person to spend the rest of one's life with ? The trading of photographs without even knowing who's going to have a look at them. "KudumbathOda sErndhu sight adikkaradhu" all seem really curious to me. It smacks of double standards in families, where the kids are discouraged from internalising the whole process.


:lol: PR - PiNNuReeNga

me too.. :D I hate the logic behind selecting the girl from the tons of PHOTOS and then going to their house, eating everything.. drinking whatever available and deciding among the GANG WHETHER SHE CAN SUIT US / NOT

:banghead:

My way:
-------

"WAIT FOR IT.. PATIENTLY.. SELECT YOUR PARTNER.. LOVE SOMEONE WITHOUT EXPECTING ANYTHING.. (It should happen naturally).. Then marry him/her.. You can make the things in a positive way"

[P_R]

nowadays, pple are given more time to get to know each other before marriage, so if they really don't like each other, they don't have to get married I think this modern feature is a little overrated. Can one really opt out because of basic incompatibility ? If it turns out to be something as grave as the proposed partner is a serial killer or has only half a liver left then the case is considered. Otherwise one is pretty much as locked in as in wedlock. Once engaged you already in a " nirai kuraigaLudan EtrukkoLLuthal" mode.

[terminator]

How about arrange cum love marraige ..... Instead of love cum arrange maraige :o

Will be good.


There will no hesitation and hurdles to tell the Love (especially seruppu adi vaangi kaathalai solla thevai illa :lol:)

Enga venumnaalum suthalaam. Pakkathu veetukkaranga parthuruvangannu bayapada thevai illa.. :lol:

College padikkarappave arrange pannitangana.. appa kittaye kaasu vaangikkalam.. :lol:

[Fire111999]

nowadays, pple are given more time to get to know each other before marriage, so if they really don't like each other, they don't have to get married I think this modern feature is a little overrated. Can one really opt out because of basic incompatibility ? If it turns out to be something as grave as the proposed partner is a serial killer or has only half a liver left then the case is considered. Otherwise one is pretty much as locked in as in wedlock. Once engaged you already in a " nirai kuraigaLudan EtrukkoLLuthal" mode.

ok. quite true. but my sister's friend was actually engaged once before. they found out that the guy was not good, a bit of a pombala poruki i think. so they canceled the engagement. and nowadays, pple are allowed to take before the engagement also. for eg. the same girl talked with two other guys and they decided not to get engaged. so it is not quite there yet but it is heading towards that direction.

[Shakthiprabha.]

PPL....... GUYS......... GIRLS..... LADIES........... MEN.......

aS SUCH i am 100 percent AGAINST arranged marriage and its concept.

I just pointed out, THAT ALL PPL WHO HAD ARRANGED MARRIAGE are not too unhappily living .

selvakumar

yes, u have a point. I dont deny.


to all,

ok let me spill the beans.

WHAT I CONSIDER the most distasteful PART in arranged marriage is .......

the fact that U DONT EVEN LOVE UR PARTNER ............ it would take time .............. and without waiting for it..........

u land up.......... sharing ur most intimate thing ie. indulge in relationship (when mind and soul is still not in love)

its...................... sorry .......... too......... embarassing.

[Shakthiprabha.]

PR,

yes, in many cases they ALSO opt out because of incompatibility.

[Fire111999]

How about arrange cum love marraige ..... Instead of love cum arrange maraige :o

Will be good.


There will no hesitation and hurdles to tell the Love (especially seruppu adi vaangi kaathalai solla thevai illa :lol:)

Enga venumnaalum suthalaam. Pakkathu veetukkaranga parthuruvangannu bayapada thevai illa.. :lol:

College padikkarappave arrange pannitangana.. appa kittaye kaasu vaangikkalam.. :lol:

kovilla sonna seruppirukkathu! :D

[Fire111999]

PPL....... GUYS......... GIRLS..... LADIES........... MEN.......

aS SUCH i am 100 percent AGAINST arranged marriage and its concept.

I just pointed out, THAT ALL PPL WHO HAD ARRANGED MARRIAGE are not too unhappily living .

selvakumar

yes, u have a point. I dont deny.


to all,

ok let me spill the beans.

WHAT I CONSIDER the most distasteful PART in arranged marriage is .......

the fact that U DONT EVEN LOVE UR PARTNER ............ it would take time .............. and without waiting for it..........

u land up.......... sharing ur most intimate thing ie. indulge in relationship (when mind and soul is still not in love)

its...................... sorry .......... too......... embarassing.

oh god! pls! you'd wait, u know!!!

[terminator]

Will be good.

There will no hesitation and hurdles to tell the Love (especially seruppu adi vaangi kaathalai solla thevai illa :lol:)

Enga venumnaalum suthalaam. Pakkathu veetukkaranga parthuruvangannu bayapada thevai illa.. :lol:

College padikkarappave arrange pannitangana.. appa kittaye kaasu vaangikkalam.. :lol:

kovilla sonna seruppirukkathu! :D

Seruppu irukkathu.. kaila thengai(coconut) vachiruntha..

[Shakthiprabha.]

PPL....... GUYS......... GIRLS..... LADIES........... MEN.......

aS SUCH i am 100 percent AGAINST arranged marriage and its concept.

I just pointed out, THAT ALL PPL WHO HAD ARRANGED MARRIAGE are not too unhappily living .

selvakumar

yes, u have a point. I dont deny.


to all,

ok let me spill the beans.

WHAT I CONSIDER the most distasteful PART in arranged marriage is .......

the fact that U DONT EVEN LOVE UR PARTNER ............ it would take time .............. and without waiting for it..........

u land up.......... sharing ur most intimate thing ie. indulge in relationship (when mind and soul is still not in love)

its...................... sorry .......... too......... embarassing.

oh god! pls! you'd wait, u know!!!

yeah..... these days...... many UNDERSTAND this concept.
MANY WAIT. :) :P

[bingleguy]

PPL....... GUYS......... GIRLS..... LADIES........... MEN.......

aS SUCH i am 100 percent AGAINST arranged marriage and its concept.

I just pointed out, THAT ALL PPL WHO HAD ARRANGED MARRIAGE are not too unhappily living .

selvakumar

yes, u have a point. I dont deny.


to all,

ok let me spill the beans.

WHAT I CONSIDER the most distasteful PART in arranged marriage is .......

the fact that U DONT EVEN LOVE UR PARTNER ............ it would take time .............. and without waiting for it..........

u land up.......... sharing ur most intimate thing ie. indulge in relationship (when mind and soul is still not in love)

its...................... sorry .......... too......... embarassing.


:clap:

But there is always a way to refrain from things that u dont like :huh:

[Shakthiprabha.]

true bg.

Ive said, PPL UNDERSTAND THIS CONCEPT and work towards it (rather NOT WORK TOWARDS IT :oops: :P )

[crazy]

mh love arranged?!
stay single!
onnume puriyala ulagathila, akkaraikku ikkarai paicha!
there both good and bad in both sides. its a kind of dilemma!
better do get married by the way u want. :roll:

[Fire111999]

mh love arranged?!
stay single!
onnume puriyala ulagathila, akkaraikku ikkarai paicha!
there both good and bad in both sides. its a kind of dilemma!
better do get married by the way u want. :roll:

with love and arranged marriages, it is true that both have good and bad aspects.

and obviously, one should get married as per one's wish!

[crazy]

yes fire
who cares how u got married! eppadiyo kaddi santoshama vazhantha seri!
get marry by love or arrange or be single or be gay whatever u want, its so important to please urself than pleasing other!

[P_R]

as such i am 100 percent AGAINST arranged marriage and its concept. Ooh !That's quite a sweeping statement. The system has distinct advantages listed out by some of our hubbers here. Of course it's great to have pink hearts flying and not be dull and unromantic. But that's no reason to hate arranged marriage.

If one is confident of getting along well with many people then there's nothing incredibly wrong about arranged marriage. I just find the process quite clumsy. (But I have known clumsier love-stories too :-).)Of course this requires that you don't subscribe to destiny school that "there's someone out there just for you".

[crazy]

Of course this requires that you don't subscribe to destiny school that "there's someone out there just for you".

mhm who knows maybe there is no one just for u?!

[crazy]

Of course this requires that you don't subscribe to destiny school that "there's someone out there just for you".

mhm who knows maybe there is no one just for u?!

[stranger]

WHAT I CONSIDER the most distasteful PART in arranged marriage is .......

the fact that U DONT EVEN LOVE UR PARTNER ............ it would take time .............. and without waiting for it..........

Well, Revathy strated loving Mohan in mounaraagam! :D

Sarojadevi started loving shivaji in iruvar uLLam. :D

Those were cinema but those were not way off from several realities! :cool:

[Sinthiya]

i heard this joke from my co-worker....:lol:

before marriage, a man holds his lady's hand because of love....
after marriage, he holds her hand because of self-defense....

:lol:.... :) ....

[crazy]

i heard this joke from my co-worker....:lol:

before marriage, a man holds his lady's hand because of love....
after marriage, he holds her hand because of self-defense....

:lol:.... :) ....

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[stranger]

:rotfl:

The pity is it is in fact NOT a JOKE! :cry:

[Fire111999]

as such i am 100 percent AGAINST arranged marriage and its concept. Ooh !That's quite a sweeping statement. The system has distinct advantages listed out by some of our hubbers here. Of course it's great to have pink hearts flying and not be dull and unromantic. But that's no reason to hate arranged marriage.

If one is confident of getting along well with many people then there's nothing incredibly wrong about arranged marriage. I just find the process quite clumsy. (But I have known clumsier love-stories too :-).)Of course this requires that you don't subscribe to destiny school that "there's someone out there just for you".

i strongly feel that there is someone out there just for me!!!

[Fire111999]

:rotfl:

The pity is it is in fact NOT a JOKE! :cry:

what is this? experience pesutha? :lol: chumma sollatheenga! :)

[ssanjinika]

Strangely I feel myself drifting towards an arranged marriage.I never could accept love at the cost of parents which is why both my husband and me were very clear from the begining that we would not get married without approval from our parents.Ours btw was an arranged marriage(except that my husband and me did the arranging :P).We did gothrough the jadhagam pathufying and stuff and waited till both the sets of parents were statisfied.Indha "odi poi kalyanam panarathu" I am comfortable with at all.Its unnecessary heart ache for all involved.And these days as quite a few of our hubbers pointed out,couples are going in for the long engagement periods which gives them enough time to get to know eachother.

[Shakthiprabha.]

to all concerned,

I assume love marriage is NOT JUST FALLING IN LOVE AND RUNNING AWAY.

it is CHOSING UR OWN partner, GETTING THE APPROVAL of ur parents, and WITH THEIR blessings marry and be happy.


Stranger,

true.

Revathy fell for mohan.
Saroja devi fell for shivaji.
........... fell for ..........

it continues........

Sometimes we find out in arranged marriage, THE PERSON IS AFTER ALL, SOMEONE just made for u.

The question is.......... some dont find this compatibility..... and still sadly live on....

******

PR, my statement was I feel not a sweeping statement. iT IS MY PERSONAL view. the process of arranged marriage is what makes one an arranged marriage.

a country is made of its ppl

similarly

arranged marriage means ITS PROCESS of how to get married.

Its almost like........... choosing ur partner based on what is OFFERED......... OR MARKETED. :oops:

Product 1 , 2, 3 ........ n.

u disregard product 1......... because of xyz reason.....
u disregard product 2................ ditto
u agree with product 5........ because...... it fits ur social values and financial status.........

the more I talk bout it, the more I am going against it :(

I feel sad bout it.

Our ppl were not fools. They had and have lived with this system. May be..............somewhere I am wrong?

I dont know.........

Can someone tell me OR JUSTIFY........ how an arranged marriage is RIGHT?

[stranger]

[tscii:a1e427aedb]
Will Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have a prenup?

Sources say they will, and according to one report, that’s why Cruise and his preggers fiancée are taking so long to get hitched. Holmes’s father, Martin, is a lawyer and is representing his daughter in the negotiations, reports the upcoming issue of The Star.

Love marriage with a Prenup is not uncommon!

"Love" also can get it "arranged" these days! :lol:
[/tscii:a1e427aedb]

[Fire111999]

Can someone tell me OR JUSTIFY........ how an arranged marriage is RIGHT?

i think you are looking at arranged marriages from the wrong angle. even in love marriages, you would have certain expectations in the person you would fall in love with; there would be certain qualities of that person that attract you to that person.

so you can also look at love like that:

given you know X number of pple,

you don't like A number of pple cos of various reasons
you like B number of pple but only as friends
you fall in love with person Y!

so you do some sort of choosing using your heart when you fall in love, if you want to look at it in that way.

in the same way, in arranged marriages, your parents use their minds to choose someone who they think is suitable for you, considering that person's values, behaviour, academic qualifications, career, economic status etc.

is it wrong of your parents to look for good values and behaviour?

is it wrong for them to feel that your partner has to be of equal academic and economic status as you?

is it wrong of me as a girl to expect that my future partner should have good moral values and behaviour, be more intelligent than me and to be of comparable economic status as my family (so that there is no inferiority on his side)?

and is it wrong of me as a girl to expect my parents to make a choice for me becos i want to consider one and only one person in my heart as my partner?

[pavalamani pragasam]

:clap:

[Fire111999]

:clap:

who's this meant for?

[pavalamani pragasam]

Of course to a young girl who spoke with good sense!

[kannannn]

in the same way, in arranged marriages, your parents use their minds to choose someone who they think is suitable for you, considering that person's values, behaviour, academic qualifications, career, economic status etc.
Why on earth should the parents choose one's partner with whom one spends the rest of their life, long after the parents are gone? Are the parents going to live with the partner? Even agreeing that parents choose the right person, in terms of economic status, academic qualifications, etc, .. what has that got to do with love? The beauty of love is that it connects people with the most diverse backgrounds. If only parents were to choose, based on the 'qualities' you have listed, rich people would always marry rich people, intelligent people would always marry intelligent people, and I dread to imagine a world like that. Marriage is much more than compatible economic status and career. It is based on love and trust, which can be experienced only first hand and not through someone's parents.


is it wrong of your parents to look for good values and behaviour?
Why can't you look for the same good values and behavior.


is it wrong for them to feel that your partner has to be of equal academic and economic status as you?
Yes, wrong.

PP, too bad that you encourage such views of equal economic status, blah, blah..

[Fire111999]

Of course to a young girl who spoke with good sense!

oh! thanks. you're making me blush now!

[Shakthiprabha.]

fire,

U ARE GONNA LIVE WITH UR PARTNER.

involve with him or her in every way possible.

pARENTS CAN CHOSE anythng else. BUT NOT ENFORCE LOVE.

U chose friends.........(some one u share ur feelings) (ur parents dont choose right)

u chose ur academics (u know what ua re good at... ur parents support u right?)

u chose so many trivial things in life (which ur parents do not always mind)

then SUCH AN IMPORTANT LIFE BOUNDING DECISIOn.........

whyt cnat it be like 'u chose, and parents approve or advice or suggest or disapproe"

WHY SHOULD THEY CHOSE UR LOVE? u are gonna love ur partner? they cant make love happen aint not?

Anything is okei,,,,,,,, if its just a product.
if emotions are involved....... the concerned person's choice is THE PRIMARY .

[pavalamani pragasam]

The little girl listed only what she knew, what she could think of regarding the matter. But as adults we should know parents are interested in compatibility of the couple on more scores than what has been listed. It is ridiculous to doubt the well meaning parents who will never dream of bringing harm to their wards.

[stranger]

If only parents were to choose, based on the 'qualities' you have listed, rich people would always marry rich people, intelligent people would always marry intelligent people, and I dread to imagine a world like that.

of course that is what happens EVEN in 99% of the love marriages as well.

[kannannn]

PP, what can I say? But atleast, you could have pointed out where you disagree with her.

I agree, parents are interested in compatibility. But "Thayum pillayum onna irundhalum, vaayum vayirum vera.."
How can the parents decide whom u should love? That goes against the very nature of love. Who knows the likes and dislikes of a person more than oneself?

[Fire111999]

Why on earth should the parents choose one's partner with whom one spends the rest of their life, long after the parents are gone? Are the parents going to live with the partner? Even agreeing that parents choose the right person, in terms of economic status, academic qualifications, etc, .. what has that got to do with love? The beauty of love is that it connects people with the most diverse backgrounds. If only parents were to choose, based on the 'qualities' you have listed, rich people would always marry rich people, intelligent people would always marry intelligent people, and I dread to imagine a world like that. Marriage is much more than compatible economic status and career. It is based on love and trust, which can be experienced only first hand and not through someone's parents.


is it wrong of your parents to look for good values and behaviour?
Why can't you look for the same good values and behavior.


is it wrong for them to feel that your partner has to be of equal academic and economic status as you?
Yes, wrong.

PP, too bad that you encourage such views of equal economic status, blah, blah..

i feel that it's not a case of only rich pple marrying rich pple. i think that the guy's family should be as rich as or richer than the girl's family (this is to avoid any inferiority on the guy's side as guy's are more sensitive to this). same thing for academic qualifications.

i can say for myself that i lose a bit of the respect i have for a person if that person is not as intelligent as me. this might not reflect well on me but i can't help it! but as i know that i need to repect as well as love my partner, i'd expect my partner to be more intelligent than me.

i agree that a marriage is founded on love and trust and that is why i feel that while arranging marriages, the couple could be allowed to talk to and know more abt each other before the marriage or even before the engagement.

but personally, i am not sure whether i want this or not (getting to know before marriage) cos as i already mentioned, as a girl, i want to think of only one person in my heart as my partner. this makes me hesitant to be involved in the choosing process. and i think this also answers your question as to why i can't do the choosing myself and why i should depend on my parents to do it for me when it is not them who is going to live with my partner.

and i am quite ok with my parents doing the choosing for me for another reason as well: i believe strongly that there is someone out there just for me. so my parents can't go wrong!

[kannannn]

If only parents were to choose, based on the 'qualities' you have listed, rich people would always marry rich people, intelligent people would always marry intelligent people, and I dread to imagine a world like that.

of course that is what happens EVEN in 99% of the love marriages as well.

Not at all stranger. I have seen couples (majority) who are from such different backgrounds that it would have been impossible for them to come together through arranged marriage. And what better way to remove the shackles of caste and religion than love marriage? :)

[stranger]

well, parents can go wrong. so can you! :cool:

[pavalamani pragasam]

There are many kinds of 'love'!!! Kaathal virus infects people at various ages, for various causes & with various results! A hearty laugh for the heady mess that often follows!!!

[Fire111999]

The little girl listed only what she knew, what she could think of regarding the matter. But as adults we should know parents are interested in compatibility of the couple on more scores than what has been listed. It is ridiculous to doubt the well meaning parents who will never dream of bringing harm to their wards.

i want to agree with that. i've only just started considering all this. and only cos my cousin sis got engaged recently. i think that this is a very complex issue and many of my thoughts are still being formed. they are not very stable. i mean, after all, it's my heart at stake here!!!!

[Fire111999]

If only parents were to choose, based on the 'qualities' you have listed, rich people would always marry rich people, intelligent people would always marry intelligent people, and I dread to imagine a world like that.

of course that is what happens EVEN in 99% of the love marriages as well.
i think so as well.

[kannannn]

well, parents can go wrong. so can you! :cool:
Agree. But I prefer to make the mistake myself, rather than blame it on others when it happens.

[stranger]

kannan:

I have seen at least 10 cases where people those who found their own partner, which fall in one of the following categories as well

* found another loveable guy and ditched the first one.

* the love is no longer exist between them

* divorced already

Love does not last that long in several cases I know.

[pavalamani pragasam]

But more stability, more immunity & less problems if the same virus is injected in as vaccination!!!

[Sanguine Sridhar]

Love which comes after your 20's have a very good chance to end up with marriage.But you cant totally avoid 16+ Love also.One of my classmate had an affair with a guy when she studied her higher secondary first year.That guy was her senior.Both of them are studious. She completed her masters with me.Recently they got married.Both of them are S/W Enggs in a very big MNC's.Its upto the pair.If it is just physical attraction i dont think that affair wont work out for a longer period.

Arrange marriage is something like 'No other go' you have to love your partner at any cost :P . Arranged marriage would be bit interesting because you never know what will be the nature of your partner.It might be a thrill (I think so :roll: )

So in my opinion Love marriage with the blessings of your parents is the greatest thing!! Huh!!!! :D

[Fire111999]

There are many kinds of 'love'!!! Kaathal virus infects people at various ages, for various causes & with various results! A hearty laugh for the heady mess that often follows!!!

yeah, i don't want to risk getting into any kind of puppy love. like the manmadane song:

ethanai aangalai kadanthu vanden yevanaiyum pidikavillai
20 varudam unnai pool yevanum ennai mayakkavillai

i want to have a pure heart for that one guy in my life (who need not necessarily enter my life when i'm 20 of course)

actually, you could say that i'm for arranged marriage until i fall in love!

[stranger]

Agree. But I prefer to make the mistake myself, rather than blame it on others when it happens.

No problem at all. :)

But we dont have any right to ridicule at people those are getting married by arranged. :cool:

Because, I am not joking, there are people I know, those who are unable find their own partner finally go ask their parents to "set up" an arranged marriage too! :(

[Fire111999]

well, parents can go wrong. so can you! :cool:

i, perhaps foolishly but strongly, believe that there is one guy out there for me and it can't go wrong!

[Fire111999]

btw, is anyone reading my posts!!!!

[kannannn]

But we dont have any right to ridicule at people those are getting married by arranged. 8-)

Because, I am not joking, there are people I know, those who are unable find their own partner finally go ask their parents to "set up" an arranged marriage too! :(
Perfectly stranger :). I too am aware of people who would rather marry the partner their parents choose (my friend is onto the 6th girl, and still unsatisfied). Maybe it's our tradition that makes it hard for certain people to follows their love instincts.

[stranger]

btw, is anyone reading my posts!!!!

Why? :lol:

[stranger]

see, kannan,

"love marriage" is defined differently

"in Indian sense" and western sense".

* In the former one they dont usually break up often but in the latter, western sense they will break up when they learnt little bit more about their partner during living together BEFORE marriage.

I believe, when people say "love marriage" here, they mean "Indian love marriage" -where people do not break up often, which is as bad as any arranged marriage! :)

[Fire111999]

btw, is anyone reading my posts!!!!

Why? :lol:

becos there were lots of objections abt what i said for arranged marriages, but no one seems to be bothered to read my explanations after that!

[stranger]

may be they agree with your view fully! :D

[Fire111999]

may be they agree with your view fully! :D

thanks! :|

[P_R]

Why on earth should the parents choose one's partner with whom one spends the rest of their life, long after the parents are gone? Are the parents going to live with the partner?

Yes and No.

The following example is from a strictly male point-of-view.Assume we are talking about an Indian patriarchal set-up where the girl lives in the boy's place. Make some reasonable assumptions about age. The parents are going to live considerable part of their lives with the daughter-in-law.So I am not so receptive to arguments for love-marriage that is "after all its their life".

By the time the parents are no more, the "girl" and the "boy" have become very different people than what they were, and have gotten used to each other.


arranged marriage means ITS PROCESS of how to get married. Its almost like........... choosing ur partner based on what is OFFERED......... OR MARKETEDagree. As I said earlier, this photo-horoscope based decision are pretty crazy. And nothing like making friends at your own pace getting to know better before taking the plunge.


btw, is anyone reading my posts!!!! I am. In fact I am feeling a bit sorry about making light of the someone-out-there belief. You emphasized that several times in the last few posts :-)

Looks like we have plenty of heartfelt romantics on either side. :roll:

[stranger]

Not at all stranger. I have seen couples (majority) who are from such different backgrounds that it would have been impossible for them to come together through arranged marriage.

May be "beuaty" or "education" compensates the "money and caste". There is always a price, Kannan! :)

A not so good-looking girl, or a not so physically well guy can get married easily in arranged marriage set-up if they come from a family whcih deserves some great respect. That does not often happen in love marriage! Physical beauty and look plays a major role in the "love maarriage"!


And what better way to remove the shackles of caste and religion than love marriage? :)

Even in arranged marriages people DO NOT CARE about the caste in several cases (caste : no bar).

[Fire111999]

btw, is anyone reading my posts!!!! I am. In fact I am feeling a bit sorry about making light of the someone-out-there belief. You emphasized that several times in the last few posts :-)

Looks like we have plenty of heartfelt romantics on either side. :roll:

that was NOT the only point i made! :roll:

[Querida]

actually, you could say that i'm for arranged marriage until i fall in love!

Ha! I never thought that i would have any personal opinions in this thread maybe just views based on the little i know...cause yeah i'm just studying...but what Fire said rang true for me :)

[Fire111999]

actually, you could say that i'm for arranged marriage until i fall in love!

Ha! I never thought that i would have any personal opinions in this thread maybe just views based on the little i know...cause yeah i'm just studying...but what Fire said rang true for me :)

thanks. but what do u mean by you're just studying? i'm also only a first year undergraduate student! :)

[kannannn]

I believe, when people say "love marriage" here, they mean "Indian love marriage" -where people do not break up often, which is as bad as any arranged marriage!
I agree. We don't follow the three step relationship development of the west: fall in love, live together and marry. But break-ups atleast give you the freedom to find someone you are really comfortable with. And break-up doesn't even have to come into the picture, if partners can show some restraint and know each other better before expressing their love.





Not at all stranger. I have seen couples (majority) who are from such different backgrounds that it would have been impossible for them to come together through arranged marriage.

May be "beuaty" or "education" compensates the "money and caste". There is always a price, Kannan! :)
I partially accept. But, how serious are such relationships? And how long do they last. The partners only have themselves to blame if they fall for such peripheral qualities.


A not so good-looking girl, or a not so physically well guy can get married easily in arranged marriage set-up if they come from a family whcih deserves some great respect. That does not often happen in love marriage! Physical beauty and look plays a major role in the "love maarriage"!
I was coming to this. Do the partners willingly accept people with 'disabilities' or lack of 'beauty' in arranged marriage? OTOH, whatever few cases we come across in love marriage, where one of the partners suffers from physical 'disadvantages', the love is instinctive and natural.


Even in arranged marriages people DO NOT CARE about the caste in several cases (caste : no bar).
But see how small the 'caste:no bar' column is :( . This, even after many newspapers publish such adverts for free!

[stranger]

see, in our system, the love gets strengthened because of the parents rejection. '

The couple starts realizing "how much they love each other" only after they got married. Until then, they were not given a chance to measure the strength of their love. Their calculation is wrong as they miscalculating. That is the bigggest draw-back in our love marriages.

They really dont understand each other but they think they do. The biggest problem is, if they have some misunderstanding after marriage, the folks are going to blame them rather than helping them!

Imagine a situation like this:

this is just like trying to work on a problem going exactly against your Indian prof suggestion or will or way. When you fail, he is going to blame you all the way. when you win you are going to get into his bad book! At least here it is one against one!

But I think our kind of love marriage is worse than an arranged marriage as it involves "two people" and "folks"!

If they live together and see how it goes and break up if necessary then the success rate may be more. well if we are going to do that v r going to end up losing our culture and what not. :(

[hi]

Bitter truth is that Love marriage will bring more misunderstanding btw in-laws than the arranged one's...

even small petty matters.. may erupt as a volcano

if any problem arise.. parents alwaz pip-point saying "neeyae thaedikita life dhana?" :(

[Raikkonen]

Rasana Ketta Mummy Daddies..

[Shakthiprabha.]

Rasana Ketta Mummy Daddies..

What do u mean?

They chose ur partenre WITH UR APPROVAL (even in arranged marriage)

WHY BLAME THEM FOR RASANAI?

[Shakthiprabha.]

Bitter truth is that Love marriage will bring more misunderstanding btw in-laws than the arranged one's...

hyprocricy and EGO on part of parents


if any problem arise.. parents alwaz pip-point saying "neeyae thaedikita life dhana?" :(

IF THEY DO THAT,,,,,,,,,

ITS VERY VERY CHEAP on htem.

[Raikkonen]

Chumma timing irukkumnu, oru dialouge eduttu vutten..
Kavuntiruhci..
Sorry...

Kalyanam ana udane, i will come here, and share my views...

[Shakthiprabha.]

:rotfl:

ntr........... :P

[stranger]

* They chose ur partenre WITH UR APPROVAL (even in arranged marriage)

* arranged marriage means ITS PROCESS of how to get married. Its almost like........... choosing ur partner based on what is OFFERED......... OR MARKETED

What are you saying, Shakthi, exactly :?:

Have you seen the success of "love-marriages" in western civilization where POVERTY is predominant and TOO MUCH of FREEDOM is given :?:

Almost 90% of women are single-mothers as they slept with an irresponsible guy for FUN in their teenage. The ENOUGH FREEDOM they had helped them to become a single mother !!!

Is that what you WANT in the name of freedom :?:

You have to be MORE careful when you are given freedom. Because you dont have anybody to blame but yourself!

[Querida]

Stranger your example has more to do with morals than freedom or independent marriages...your reply seems very far-fetched from what SP has posted. I agree that what you say is true but I doubt too much freedom is the problem, moreso it's not having self-control, self-respect or prudence all that comes with a sense of strong morality...which unfortunatly people lack....are there not single wayward mothers (just for your example..not all single mothers may be abandoned by husband or widowed) in India or anywhere else...are there not orphans? Maybe there are less single mothers due to family able to support them or remarriage or the need to support themselves wholly is not as prevalent as it is here for single mothers.

I remember a study that revealed single/teen mothers also are a result of broken homes or ones where they do not like living with mom and her boyfriend-of-the-week....so that they think if I had my own family I would have someone of my very own to love....so the next guy who's nice to them is the "one" and their child is her second chance....but at what cost? Sad yes but not because of freedom but lack of support of family and uneven upbringing.

[stranger]

Q: I used "freedom" in the sense that freedom of "go for love" and then "go for marriages" as you wish!

* The parents can not guide you here as they are unaware of the kids attitude and they dont understand what is "love marriage" really means here.

* because the parents are married by arranged. So they are lost! :D




aS SUCH i am 100 percent AGAINST arranged marriage and its concept.

See, what is the meaning "love marriage" according to SP as she is 100% against arranged marriage :?:

How is she exactly suggesting to choose one's parner in the Indian environment :?:

Tell me what you have understood! :D

[sanguine]

Arranged / love / love cum arranged / arranged cum love / whateva - If the two are sane minded and matured enough to make the right decision,any type of marriage would work 8-)

Basically,its the type of people and not the type of marriage.clumsy and confused people are those who struggle everywhere - education - career - marriage - life :roll:

[Querida]

Stranger insists:
Q: I used "freedom" in the sense that freedom of "go for love" and then "go for marriages" as you wish!

Again this is not freedom, it is morals..there has to be a lack of morals for someone to go "freely" from love to marriage so easily...they are not taking either relationship seriously


* The parents can not guide you here as they are unaware of the kids attitude and they dont understand what is "love marriage" really means here.

* because the parents are married by arranged. So they are lost! :D

Yes but parents do know what's right and wrong...any parent even if arranged knows it's wrong to let their child to sleep around no? If you do it in the name of love....again it is a question of your morals...there are many people "fall in love" and still stay abstinent till marriage.



aS SUCH i am 100 percent AGAINST arranged marriage and its concept.


See, what is the meaning "love marriage" according to SP as she is 100% against arranged marriage :?:

How is she exactly suggesting to choose one's parner in the Indian environment :?:

Tell me what you have understood! :D

First of all that's for SP to answer :D but in choosing a partner wisely in ANY cultural environment is to use your moral judgement, people only choose their partners because they perceive they have the right to do whether or not their parents give them the freedom to do so. And That Stranger my friend is what I understood...repliez-vous?

[stranger]

And That Stranger my friend is what I understood...repliez-vous?

Q: :D

morality is a complicated issue and touchy subject! :lol:

[Querida]

:lol: Stranger thanx I really needed the laugh :D

[Thirumaran]

Love Marriage : Commiting Suicide..
:cry:
Arranged Marriage : Sentenced to death :cry:

Result is same. :(

Why a discussion then :huh:

[great]

Love Marriage : Commiting Suicide..
:cry:
Arranged Marriage : Sentenced to death :cry:

Result is same. :(

Why a discussion then :huh:

Thirumaran`s punch :thumbsup:

[Fire111999]

i think the last two post are more relevant to another thread abt whether one should get married or not!

[hi]

One ..crucial thing abt Love Marriage is :

"ASTROLOGY"

Lovers .. think that one way is to convince parents.. through astro... but sadly.. most of the time it fails... as the horoscope doesn't go along well with eachother :(

....

[Shakthiprabha.]

Have you seen the success of "love-marriages" in western civilization where POVERTY is predominant and TOO MUCH of FREEDOM is given :?:

Who spoke about success of arranged marriages?
I just mentioned, THE WAY OF CHOSING A PARTNER should be the person's choice and not by the family's choice.



Almost 90% of women are single-mothers as they slept with an irresponsible guy for FUN in their teenage. The ENOUGH FREEDOM they had helped them to become a single mother !!!

Chosing ur partner, does not mean, sleeping with any guy at TEENAGE and become single mom.

WE ARE NOT TALKING MORALITY. wE, I UNDERSTAND, ARE TALKING ABOUT ''''chooosing the partner on one's own'''
andddd marrying him or her.


Is that what you WANT in the name of freedom :?:

You have to be MORE careful when you are given freedom. Because you dont have anybody to blame but yourself!

BY Freedom, I meant TO CHOSE UR PARTNER, NOT TO MISUSE AND SLEEP AROUND WITH MEN OR WOMEN.

[Fire111999]

nalla sonnenga SP!

[Shakthiprabha.]

aS SUCH i am 100 percent AGAINST arranged marriage and its concept.

See, what is the meaning "love marriage" according to SP as she is 100% against arranged marriage :?:

Yes, In my personal view, I AM NOT FAVOURABLE FOR ARRANGED MARRIAGE. I find it weird.



How is she exactly suggesting to choose one's parner in the Indian environment :?:

Well, by choosing I dont mean go around advertising urself. Before marriage, any eligible guy or girl would come accross someone she likes or he likes FOR HIS OR HER NATURE, QUALITY AND WAVE LENGTH.

If its not a problem, and if they feel they are compatible enough, marrying the partner, with the approval and blessing of the parents(THEY again are free to point out and suggest or disapprove if they feel its not susceptible, but ultimately the groom and bride's decision should matter) , IS WHAT I TERM AS "'U CHOOSING UR PARTNER AND WITHOUT UR FAMILY'S INTERFERENCE"


Is there any confusion?

Why is this confused with SLEEPING AROUND WITH OPPOSITE SEX AND LETTING MORALS LOOSE?

AM i to assume, ppl who support SIMPLE 'love marriage' mean, SLEEPING WITH LOVERS AND LIVING LIFE THEY WANT.???

[Fire111999]

yup yup. i agree with what u're saying SP!

but nowadays with arranged marriage also, the guy and the girl are being allowed to meet and speak before they get engaged and there is a long gap b/w the engagement and the wedding. this must make arranged marriages more acceptable to you, right?

i mean, basically, parents should only filter the guys according to moral values and habits, etc.

[Shakthiprabha.]

I dont deny it fire.

They do get to meet and like each other, AND THEN GET MARIED. Its really a nice change from what it used to be in olden days.

but.........

yes, parents filter based on ur likes and dislikes ......... allow u to date and finalise whehter u like or do not like a person.

We go out, talk, find out whats good or compatible and say yes.

But tell me , IS IT LIKE THIS IN M ANY HOUSES?

IS IT NOT LIKE........... u like him or her and say 'yes' (IMMY) in 2 to 3 days.

90 PERCENT of the time, GET ENGAGED.........

and THENNNNNN GO OUT Speak more and understand them.

When we are engaged we are half.... committed. Not all call of their engagement in the name of 'incompatibility' (I should say, its increasing these days........ sadly I feel its better for parents to WAIT and then get them engaged..... rather than have engagement and then....... allow them to spend time)

Even otherwise......................

I feel, it would be nice, if u BUMP INTO THE PERSON urself, and like him or her, than........... select a commodity and short list it (with the help of so many) and then marry .

[Fire111999]

yeah, i guess, it's not in many houses that they allow them to mix freely before getting engaged. but this situation is improving.

for myself, as i already mentioned, i'm for arranged marriages until i fall in love!

[Shakthiprabha.]

hmm...

I assume, arranged marriages have taken different look these days.

Good luck fire :) I wish u hapiness.
who knows.......U may fall in love...........
or.......u may not........ but meet the right guy .... may be with the help of parents by an arranged marriage :)

My daughter is 5 now.

:D

I dont know....... if tommorrow my daughter grows up and did not find any body to her liking, on her own..... did not fal in love, and if she is 25.............. i might consider this ARRANGED marriage??????

:? :? not sure. I suppose even then, I would want her to chose her own partner yes ofcourse with diligence, for which me and my husband may stand by her and support or suggest her.

:D

:) :P

Funny fact is, My husband DOES NOT feel 'love=marriage' is necessary. He is happy with ARRANGED marriage and its procedures. :lol:

[Fire111999]

but isn't it difficult for a girl to consider different pple as the love of her life? i mean, a girl will only want to think of one person in her heart right? so, isn't it easier to leave it to the parents to choose?

[Shakthiprabha.]

but isn't it difficult for a girl to consider different pple as the love of her life? i mean, a girl will only want to think of one person in her heart right? so, isn't it easier to leave it to the parents to choose?

:lol:

fire,

u dont approach or move with everyone with the thinking that.....

"what if he is my man" :oops:

its JUST A NATURAL PROCESS.

I would like to quote a song which I love for its sensible words

"poo poothathai
yaar paarthathu?
kaathal kooda
poovai pondrathu....."

:)

so, its a slow steady process, IT CANT AND WOULD NOT happen with all.

u cannot approach or meet a person with the thinking........."okei he is the one" :D

I ask u one question...........

we have so called PONNU PAARKARATHU (formally seeing the girl) in arranged marriages.

Assume the guy / girl would go say 'NO' after the process is over.

Are u not involving urself with more than one man then? I mean.......... u might see him in diff angle, and then..... find he is not the one....

so are u not seeing him in a prospective groom's angle?

Its just the same.......

I remeber a poem which I read LONG BACK (when I was unmarried infact)

many may not like the poem..... cause of its raunchy effect..... it does not hapen or is not true too........ somehow I liked the way it was put accorss......

(IT was frustration of a 30 year old woman, who was not sold in the marriage market, due to her poor financial status and hence lacking the capability to give dowry)

"indraikku vEroruvan.
ivanai naaNathodu parthu,
sirithu
pesi........
kanavil kudumbam valarthu...
avan illai endra pozhuthu.......
sOram pOnavaLaai..........
aduthavanukaaga kaathirukkirEn.
kanni kazhiyaatha PATHTHINI naan"

(Its my own wordings..... with just the jist covered.......)

[Fire111999]

yeah, i know one shouldn't view everyone with that kind of thing in mind. i know i don't.

and actually, i only talked abt the guy and the girl being allowed to meet before marriage, etc cos i felt that that aspect of arranged marriage wil appeal to you. it doesn't to me. i would rather my parents choose the guy for me, unless i fall in love before that. but i'm not going to go out looking for love! That's what i mean by i'm for arranged marriages until i fall in love!

and another thing: the indian guys i've met here seem to think in that way. cos when i show an interest to further my friendship with someone i like, they think that as an interest to become their girl friend. for e.g., one guy just inserted into a conversation i was having with him, that his girl friend in india thinks sth. i felt that that was not a natural comment on his part and was his way of informing me that he was not available. and then there was another guy who acted differently when he talks to me. i couldn't understand why they don't realise that i just wanted to be friends. since these experiences, i don't really pursue friendships with any indian guys.

and yet another thing: why do girls in india call guys they know as anna? is that a way to preclude any declarations of love? that is also quite horrible. i'ven't called anyone anna in my whole life until recently. and when i call anyone, anna, i mean it. it's not just some kind of protection!

[r_o_j_a]

if anything goes wrong in a love marriage/arranged then your parents would say
:-
love
"I knew this wouldn't work. i told you loads of time. you wont listen"

arranged
"aiyo . what are we going to do now. this is our thalaividhi"

personally i feel that arranged marriage will work because there is more commitment , duty. If both parties listen to parents and then get married , then there is more willingness to stay together (and listen to parents)... there is a greater cohesion/link with other extended family network.

love marriages will first result in some sort of misunderstandings ,often it takes longer for the bond between families to develop.
:)

[Shakthiprabha.]

and another thing: the indian guys i've met here seem to think in that way. cos when i show an interest to further my friendship with someone i like, they think that as an interest to become their girl friend. for e.g., one guy just inserted into a conversation i was having with him, that his girl friend in india thinks sth. i felt that that was not a natural comment on his part and was his way of informing me that he was not available. and then there was another guy who acted differently when he talks to me. i couldn't understand why they don't realise that i just wanted to be friends. since these experiences, i don't really pursue friendships with any indian guys.

Sadly, the concept called 'FRIENDSHIP' is not understood in its finest ways by majority of indian men and women and indian boys and girls.



and yet another thing: why do girls in india call guys they know as anna? is that a way to preclude any declarations of love? that is also quite horrible. i'ven't called anyone anna in my whole life until recently. and when i call anyone, anna, i mean it. it's not just some kind of protection!

:roll: I dont know. I am like u. I personally dont call most of my friends as ANNA OR THAMBI OR WHATEER. I prefer to call them friends. Relationship I feel is very pure and cannot be used, as a substitute word.

MAY BE, many girls call anna or whatever may be because She does not know any other way to call someone elder to her! :roll: (my personal preference is USE NAME...... WHAT ARE NAMES FOR?)

anyway, its each one's personal preference. I have not called anyone anna or thambi UNLESS I MEAN IT. It does not happen EASILY. One need to understand the person, like him for what he is, FEEL BROTHERLY, then call anna ......... it takes time. (all cant be anna anyway :roll: )

Another major reason MAY BE, cause, men or women in INDIA still dont have confidence in friendship??????

Thats just a question.... which crops up. I leave it to every person's indvidual analysis to answer it.

[Fire111999]

Sadly, the concept called 'FRIENDSHIP' is not understood in its finest ways by majority of indian men and women and indian boys and girls.

yeah, and that's really sad!

[phil]

fire,

U ARE GONNA LIVE WITH UR PARTNER.

involve with him or her in every way possible.

pARENTS CAN CHOSE anythng else. BUT NOT ENFORCE LOVE.

U chose friends.........(some one u share ur feelings) (ur parents dont choose right)

u chose ur academics (u know what ua re good at... ur parents support u right?)

u chose so many trivial things in life (which ur parents do not always mind)

then SUCH AN IMPORTANT LIFE BOUNDING DECISIOn.........

whyt cnat it be like 'u chose, and parents approve or advice or suggest or disapproe"

WHY SHOULD THEY CHOSE UR LOVE? u are gonna love ur partner? they cant make love happen aint not?

Anything is okei,,,,,,,, if its just a product.
if emotions are involved....... the concerned person's choice is THE PRIMARY .

Arranged marriages are common in our culture. Lets do a small modificaiton to it. How about getting know your future wife for one or two months and see if your values match hers.
Example, i want a wife who never ever talks lies, who does not argue, who does not trick you or trap you by her language, who is not stingy, who has a sense of dressing, who is sweet, who is charming, etc etc.
Obviously, there are some trade offs and give and takes but the basic values definitely has to match to have a happy life.
When i say dating it does not have to involve sex or anything. just getting to know each other, thats it.

[Hulkster]

Aiyo....intha topicai viduvae matteingela?...First of all let me give me my opinion of marriage.

Marriage: Marriage in itself is the unification of two hearts till the coming of death, in other words it is like the "official" announcement of loving each other till death. A person can only be married to another person if he/she is willing to be with their partner for life and they are confident of understanding each others needs and emotions. In a way this is also similar to love as love does not happen if you do not understand each others needs and their characteristics (Love has nothing to do with physical sexuality like sex and kissing and touching and beauty which is more towards lust and the working of our stimulating hormones). Even in the so called "arranged" marriage, he/she still has to like the person before deciding to marry and even forced marriages end in scrutiny as there is no chemistry with both the husband and wife.

Conclusion: In other words the word marriage is strongly associated with love and it plays a very prominent role in marriage.
even if it is "arranged" both husband and wife will still have to love each other in order to lead a married life.

In other words, Successful Married Life = Evidence of Love which also goes to show Marriage is highest status given to lovers (something like a promotion).

[crazy]

and yet another thing: why do girls in india call guys they know as anna? is that a way to preclude any declarations of love? that is also quite horrible. i'ven't called anyone anna in my whole life until recently. and when i call anyone, anna, i mean it. it's not just some kind of protection!

MAY BE, many girls call anna or whatever may be because She does not know any other way to call someone elder to her! :roll: (my personal preference is USE NAME...... WHAT ARE NAMES FOR?)

Another major reason MAY BE, cause, men or women in INDIA still dont have confidence in friendship??????

Thats just a question.... which crops up. I leave it to every person's indvidual analysis to answer it.

i dont even now why, but i call everyone one as anna! i feel some sort of safeness calling them anna and beside its sounds better to call anna, i feel so. apropos friendship, i dont know. every guy i met, i start fighting with them or they start annoying me, so i never had any friend who was a male. here norway male friends.............mhm nothing to mention. most of my male friends, i feel them as my thambi not even anna, b'coz they talk so stupidly and they r so naive. :roll:

[Hulkster]

Sometimes certain men feel that they are being called anna to show that the girls do not prefer them, while some others just go with it fine.

As for friendship....athu indian men/boys and women/girls matter ellei...intha ulugathil nadanthukittu irukkum oru unmai. Its not that people do not understand friendship, they actually do know the meaning of friendship. However the problem is they are unsure of their own relationships which at times leads to love. Its not rare but neither is it common to have a boy or girl understanding that they are just friends and thats it.

If u meant this gf/bf thing well that has nothing to do with friendship. Some girls/boys when they grow up getting distracted by seeing movies depicting love,seeing kathal jodis and they too wish to try out how a relationship would be so they go about asking a boy/girl whom they like. Because this people are just "trying" it out they do not actually know each other at the start so they just go with the girlfriend boyfriend concept.

But one thing, Love has nothing to do with the gf/bf thingy or friendship. Its a totally different topic altogether. Love has been easily misread that it is related to sex just like how it is related to this gf/bf thingy.

(Note: Kathal vanthaal athu unarchigal mulamaga varum...alagu ellei curiosity mulam ellei)

[crazy]

(Note: Kathal vanthaal athu unarchigal mulamaga varum...alagu ellei curiosity mulam ellei)

i really wonder by ur sentence! right now in this world we live, i dont see any ""true" love?! i dont know i might be wrong! :roll:

[Fire111999]

and yet another thing: why do girls in india call guys they know as anna? is that a way to preclude any declarations of love? that is also quite horrible. i'ven't called anyone anna in my whole life until recently. and when i call anyone, anna, i mean it. it's not just some kind of protection!

MAY BE, many girls call anna or whatever may be because She does not know any other way to call someone elder to her! :roll: (my personal preference is USE NAME...... WHAT ARE NAMES FOR?)

Another major reason MAY BE, cause, men or women in INDIA still dont have confidence in friendship??????

Thats just a question.... which crops up. I leave it to every person's indvidual analysis to answer it.

i dont even now why, but i call everyone one as anna! i feel some sort of safeness calling them anna and beside its sounds better to call anna, i feel so. apropos friendship, i dont know. every guy i met, i start fighting with them or they start annoying me, so i never had any friend who was a male. here norway male friends.............mhm nothing to mention. most of my male friends, i feel them as my thambi not even anna, b'coz they talk so stupidly and they r so naive. :roll:

this is the concept i don't like. i hope indians can learn the concept of friendship b/w the opposite sexes! right now, indian girls call everyone anna, whether they like them or not! y can't u be friends if u like them and not if u don't. and does it mean that if u call a guy anna, you will not fall in love with that person? you might, cos u are not thinking of that person in a brotherly way even though u're calling him anna. and if u believe in love, then do u want to miss your love cos u call him anna?

[Fire111999]

(Note: Kathal vanthaal athu unarchigal mulamaga varum...alagu ellei curiosity mulam ellei)

i really wonder by ur sentence! right now in this world we live, i dont see any ""true" love?! i dont know i might be wrong! :roll:

i know a very good example of true love, my parents! i hope u meet more pple like them!

[Lambretta]

i know a very good example of true love, my parents! i hope u meet more pple like them!
If I might ask, is theirs an arranged or 'love' marriage? :)

[crazy]

(Note: Kathal vanthaal athu unarchigal mulamaga varum...alagu ellei curiosity mulam ellei)

i really wonder by ur sentence! right now in this world we live, i dont see any ""true" love?! i dont know i might be wrong! :roll:

i know a very good example of true love, my parents! i hope u meet more pple like them!

fie u r right but iam taliking about love these days, not the past generation!

[Lambretta]

fie u r right but iam taliking about love these days, not the past generation!
:shock: :? Um...how has love changed for this gen.?

[crazy]

fie u r right but iam taliking about love these days, not the past generation!
:shock: :? Um...how has love changed for this gen.?

i dont know, love is getting pointless these days. ppl dont know what love is (neither do i) they just feel its time for love and find somebody to love! :roll: :cry:

[Hulkster]

Yeppa theres no such thing as true love or fake love....yethanai kalam yeduthaal kathalin conceptai alikka mudiyaathu...love is purely made of emotions and that is how it will remain to be....it has nothing to do with phsyicality or sexuality....summarise penni sollunum na orutharodeiya manasum characterum pidichirunthichi na athu thaan kathal.

[crazy]

Yeppa theres no such thing as true love or fake love....yethanai kalam yeduthaal kathalin conceptai alikka mudiyaathu...love is purely made of emotions and that is how it will remain to be....it has nothing to do with phsyicality or sexuality....summarise penni sollunum na orutharodeiya manasum characterum pidichirunthichi na athu thaan kathal.

hulkster ungala madhiri naadila ethana per irukkanga? do u think nowadyas youths now what is love to be honest they fell in beauty not in love!

[Lambretta]

i dont know, love is getting pointless these days. ppl dont know what love is (neither do i) they just feel its time for love and find somebody to love! :roll: :cry:
Yea find somebody more than once in many cases!
Also their definition of time for love is within wat they call as "quality time"...! :roll: :cry:

[Fire111999]

i know a very good example of true love, my parents! i hope u meet more pple like them!
If I might ask, is theirs an arranged or 'love' marriage? :)

arranged. but they fell in love as well!

[crazy]

i dont know, love is getting pointless these days. ppl dont know what love is (neither do i) they just feel its time for love and find somebody to love! :roll: :cry:
Yea find somebody more than once in many cases!
Also their definition of time for love is within wat they call as "quality time"...! :roll: :cry:

yeah i really dont find what love is? u date somebody for some times and then feel she/he is perfect and love, marriage and divorce?! god i wish i know what these ppl r doing? :roll:

[crazy]

i know a very good example of true love, my parents! i hope u meet more pple like them!
If I might ask, is theirs an arranged or 'love' marriage? :)

arranged. but they fell in love as well!
then i have an example too "my parents"!

[Fire111999]

i dont know, love is getting pointless these days. ppl dont know what love is (neither do i) they just feel its time for love and find somebody to love! :roll: :cry:
Yea find somebody more than once in many cases!
Also their definition of time for love is within wat they call as "quality time"...! :roll: :cry:

yeah, that's why i;m for arranged marriage unless i fall in love before that. but one can't go out looking for love! it should just come to you naturally.

[Lambretta]

arranged. but they fell in love as well!
Nice! 'wish it'll be so in my case as well! :D

[crazy]

i dont know, love is getting pointless these days. ppl dont know what love is (neither do i) they just feel its time for love and find somebody to love! :roll: :cry:
Yea find somebody more than once in many cases!
Also their definition of time for love is within wat they call as "quality time"...! :roll: :cry:

yeah, that's why i;m for arranged marriage unless i fall in love before that. but one can't go out looking for love! it should just come to you naturally.

love knocks the door! i will only marry if i fall in love, but i dont know if i would ever find love. its so "love famine" :cry:

[Fire111999]

don't worry crazy! i'm sure u will. but do stop calling all guys u know anna! (just my opinion,u could if u're more comfortable)

[crazy]

don't worry crazy! i'm sure u will. but do stop calling all guys u know anna! (just my opinion,u could if u're more comfortable)

it wont help first of all i dont know many guys(not girls either). second iam not living in india, so i stopped calling anna/thambi/akka/thangai/etc.etc! for a long time ago :cry: :wink: :roll:

[Fire111999]

yeah, i don't know many indian guys either. but i don't call anyone anna even when i go to india for hols. and as for falling in love, there's plenty of time for that. we're only 19 now!

[crazy]

yeah, i don't know many indian guys either. but i don't call anyone anna even when i go to india for hols. and as for falling in love, there's plenty of time for that. we're only 19 now!

fire where living now?

yeah we have plenty of time, hopefully i will find my love of life before i dies :lol:

[Fire111999]

uk

[crazy]

uk, but isnt there r plenty of indians?

[Hulkster]

Yemma Raasathi kathal ellam choose penna mudiyaathu...it is something that comes suddenly when your least expecting it...once you start appreciating a person for his/her manasu athu thaana varum...its not something you can avoid or destroy...namakkulae pirantha vantha feeling.

[crazy]

Yemma Raasathi kathal ellam choose penna mudiyaathu...it is something that comes suddenly when your least expecting it...once you start appreciating a person for his/her manasu athu thaana varum...its not something you can avoid or destroy...namakkulae pirantha vantha feeling.

ahha kaadhla vandhaal ................... :lol: :lol: :lol:
che che love appadiye tsunami thaana paarunga suddena varuvathukku. i dont believe in love and i dont still get how u can fall in love! i feel love has more to do with sens & head, rather than heart!

[Fire111999]

uk, but isnt there r plenty of indians?

yeah, but i don't know many guys. i know some indian guys at my college and my dept. but not too well. not much opportunity to get to know them better. and also no one tamil. so can't imagine anyone calling them anna!

[Fire111999]

Yemma Raasathi kathal ellam choose penna mudiyaathu...it is something that comes suddenly when your least expecting it...once you start appreciating a person for his/her manasu athu thaana varum...its not something you can avoid or destroy...namakkulae pirantha vantha feeling.

ahha kaadhla vandhaal ................... :lol: :lol: :lol:
che che love appadiye tsunami thaana paarunga suddena varuvathukku. i dont believe in love and i dont still get how u can fall in love! i feel love has more to do with sens & head, rather than heart!

no. i don't really agree. cos if u think abt it sensibly u wouldn't know why someone loves someone else. i always feel like what's there to like in that guy or girl that this really nice girl or guy has fallen in love with!

[Hulkster]

Yeppa....manushan piranthathae aaanagavum ponnaguvum thaan...approm thaan intha matham jaathi lottulosku ellam vanthichi....yaen pa indians for indians..americans for americans rule create pennuraenge.....our manasu only follows the manasu of another whom we like who can be anybody..proof that kathal is devoid of matham/jaathi....cheh...unga kitae solliyae naan oinchiduvaen....yen characterae purinchikka maaturaengelae(sathyaraj style)

[crazy]

Yemma Raasathi kathal ellam choose penna mudiyaathu...it is something that comes suddenly when your least expecting it...once you start appreciating a person for his/her manasu athu thaana varum...its not something you can avoid or destroy...namakkulae pirantha vantha feeling.

ahha kaadhla vandhaal ................... :lol: :lol: :lol:
che che love appadiye tsunami thaana paarunga suddena varuvathukku. i dont believe in love and i dont still get how u can fall in love! i feel love has more to do with sens & head, rather than heart!

no. i don't really agree. cos if u think abt it sensibly u wouldn't know why someone loves someone else. i always feel like what's there to like in that guy or girl that this really nice girl or guy has fallen in love with!

i am wondering what is really love, how could u be so sure that the person u feel nicer is nicer in every ways/aspects. how could u possibly live with that guy?! iam really afraid of getting married and falling love?

[crazy]

Yeppa....manushan piranthathae aaanagavum ponnaguvum thaan...approm thaan intha matham jaathi lottulosku ellam vanthichi....yaen pa indians for indians..americans for americans rule create pennuraenge.....our manasu only follows the manasu of another whom we like who can be anybody..proof that kathal is devoid of matham/jaathi....cheh...unga kitae solliyae naan oinchiduvaen....yen characterae purinchikka maaturaengelae(sathyaraj style)

hulkster ippo thaane join panni irukkeenga, poha poha unga charactera purinchukurom :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[rachel]

when somebody's attracted to somebody that's love... :roll:
when that somebody marries that somebody it's love marriage :roll:

[crazy]

when somebody's attracted to somebody that's love... :roll:
when that somebody marries that somebody it's love marriage :roll:
pinnureenga ponga :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Hulkster]

The thing is people perceive marriage to be a totally different thing than love and they feel that marriage brings only problems which is why this fear.

I alreayd have said marriage and love are very similar to each other...in fact marriage needs love to survive....as for marriage...many couples have intersecting opinions which creates this problem and sometimes when both of them do not understand each other's needs and feelings...this also arises....when the couple can identify what they really need and what needs to be done before marriage this problems will be gone without a trace. Bayapadathaenge Crazy...bayam varalam anaal bayamae vazhkaiyaga irukka kudaathu(This was stolen from Baasha film)

[Fire111999]

crazy, i understand what u mean. i feel the same sometimes. but i really believe that whatever happens, i'll find the guy i love, by love or arranged marriage. so i'm not worried. i just don't know what's the right way to go abt it. but i think i've figured that out as well. i'm not going to look out for love. and if i don't fall in love, i'll just marry whoever my parents choose, cos i know i'll fall in love with him!

[crazy]

The thing is people perceive marriage to be a totally different thing than love and they feel that marriage brings only problems which is why this fear.
Bayapadathaenge Crazy...bayam varalam anaal bayamae vazhkaiyaga irukka kudaathu(This was stolen from Baasha film)

well well i still dont see what the point in marriage, perhaps i should wait and grow older i guess.

by the way hulkster baasha dialgue ellam pinnureenga ponga :lol:

[crazy]

cos i know i'll fall in love with him!

good for u, u r so confident!

[Hulkster]

pinnuruthukaga thaanae vanthaen... :lol:

[crazy]

pinnuruthukaga thaanae vanthaen... :lol:

enna yadhaya?

[Hulkster]

dialoguai sonaal rasikkanum...intha mathiri yega patta questions keika kudaathu....approm anniyana maariduvaen...kanda kanda new punishments kodukka arambippaen :x

[Shakthiprabha.]

fire,

U ARE GONNA LIVE WITH UR PARTNER.

involve with him or her in every way possible.

pARENTS CAN CHOSE anythng else. BUT NOT ENFORCE LOVE.

U chose friends.........(some one u share ur feelings) (ur parents dont choose right)

u chose ur academics (u know what ua re good at... ur parents support u right?)

u chose so many trivial things in life (which ur parents do not always mind)

then SUCH AN IMPORTANT LIFE BOUNDING DECISIOn.........

whyt cnat it be like 'u chose, and parents approve or advice or suggest or disapproe"

WHY SHOULD THEY CHOSE UR LOVE? u are gonna love ur partner? they cant make love happen aint not?

Anything is okei,,,,,,,, if its just a product.
if emotions are involved....... the concerned person's choice is THE PRIMARY .

Arranged marriages are common in our culture. Lets do a small modificaiton to it. How about getting know your future wife for one or two months and see if your values match hers.
Example, i want a wife who never ever talks lies, who does not argue, who does not trick you or trap you by her language, who is not stingy, who has a sense of dressing, who is sweet, who is charming, etc etc.
Obviously, there are some trade offs and give and takes but the basic values definitely has to match to have a happy life.
When i say dating it does not have to involve sex or anything. just getting to know each other, thats it.

thats what happens these days.................

short list one guy amongst the available eligible bachelor, and try ur luck with him (ofcourse atleast in INDIA, everybody knows dating does not invovle sex...... who said it did involve?????!)

[crazy]

thats what happens these days.................
(ofcourse atleast in INDIA, everybody knows dating does not invovle sex...... who said it did involve?????!)

lords know!
dating hmh i dont like that system at all. its so odd!

[Shakthiprabha.]

i dont even now why, but i call everyone one as anna! i feel some sort of safeness calling them anna

:roll:



i feel so. apropos friendship, i dont know. every guy i met, i start fighting with them or they start annoying me, so i never had any friend who was a male.

:|




:) Guess it takes all sort to make the world :)

[crazy]

[ Guess it takes all sort to make the world :)

:) :P

[Shakthiprabha.]

i know a very good example of true love, my parents! i hope u meet more pple like them!
If I might ask, is theirs an arranged or 'love' marriage? :)

arranged. but they fell in love as well!

add one more :oops:

Mine was ARRANGED MARRIAGE.

I hated it. It was kinda coerced on me, due to various emotional black mail.

I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE HAPPY. I never thought i would fall in love. I was actually very sad during my marriage.

I fell in love, I guess around a period of 6 months after my marriage. :roll:

I am thankful and very happy i married him, THOUGH I STILL DETEST arranged marriage.

[Shakthiprabha.]

thats what happens these days.................
(ofcourse atleast in INDIA, everybody knows dating does not invovle sex...... who said it did involve?????!)

lords know!
dating hmh i dont like that system at all. its so odd!

So, u would just look at a guy's pic, TALK TO HIM 100 WORDS and say 'yes'????????? A decision over a cuppa coffee?

[crazy]

marriage is dilemma when it comes to love or arranged! :roll:
always ups and downs. i feel like my parents marriage is disaster(in my point of view, even my brothers point of view), but it is heavenly for my mother.(god knows what she is thinking)
so i get worried/scared to think about my life in future and marriage seems so far for me! i dont know how i gonna make through this! got u wait and see, i guess!

[Shakthiprabha.]

marriage is dilemma when it comes to love or arranged! :roll:
always ups and downs. i feel like my parents marriage is disaster(in my point of view, even my brothers point of view), but it is heavenly for my mother.(god knows what she is thinking)
so i get worried/scared to think about my life in future and marriage seems so far for me! i dont know how i gonna make through this! got u wait and see, i guess!

u would make it fine crazy.

one thing is sure.

marriage whether arranged or love STAYSSSS only when there is true love (atleast in current gen)... else they opt out of marriage.

so.......... if he is the person destined, he may land up in ur life anyway........... you would know HE/SHE is the one, sooner or later. Some ppl put up with their spouse, whether or not they love. Those cases are much reduced these days. Most of them live because THEY ARE IN LOVE.

Marriage is successful if the concern ppl (hus and wife alone) feel they are happy (outsiders need not have a say on this, i.e including offsprings)

[crazy]

So, u would just look at a guy's pic, TALK TO HIM 100 WORDS and say 'yes'????????? A decision over a cuppa coffee?

no no i would prefer love marriage, but i dont know how it gonna work!
i sometimes think it would be fine if i find a guy much elder than me to marry. he may look after me like a father!(its weird, but its just a thought)

[Shakthiprabha.]

So, u would just look at a guy's pic, TALK TO HIM 100 WORDS and say 'yes'????????? A decision over a cuppa coffee?

no no i would prefer love marriage, but i dont know how it gonna work!
i sometimes think it would be fine if i find a guy much elder than me to marry. he may look after me like a father!(its weird, but its just a thought)

u are VERY INTERESTING crazy :)
I can write story on you :)

[Hulkster]

Our mothers should be given alot of praise and honours for how they endure every beating and torture just to make sure we grow up without problems...ithu ninaichaal yen thaivodeiya vethanai gnyabagam varathu...thats y i said both men and women must stand up for the way women are treated.

[Shakthiprabha.]

Our mothers should be given alot of praise and honours for how they endure every beating and torture just to make sure we grow up without problems...ithu ninaichaal yen thaivodeiya vethanai gnyabagam varathu...thats y i said both men and women must stand up for the way women are treated.

I did not get u!!!!!!!

what are u tryin to say? Women are getting beaten up by men?

[rachel]

So, u would just look at a guy's pic, TALK TO HIM 100 WORDS and say 'yes'????????? A decision over a cuppa coffee?

no no i would prefer love marriage, but i dont know how it gonna work!
i sometimes think it would be fine if i find a guy much elder than me to marry. he may look after me like a father!(its weird, but its just a thought)

i love that marriage too.. :P :P

[Shakthiprabha.]

So, u would just look at a guy's pic, TALK TO HIM 100 WORDS and say 'yes'????????? A decision over a cuppa coffee?

no no i would prefer love marriage, but i dont know how it gonna work!
i sometimes think it would be fine if i find a guy much elder than me to marry. he may look after me like a father!(its weird, but its just a thought)

i love that marriage too.. :P :P

:shock:

Guess today...... all are sharing weird feelings :lol:

[rachel]

Our mothers should be given alot of praise and honours for how they endure every beating and torture just to make sure we grow up without problems...ithu ninaichaal yen thaivodeiya vethanai gnyabagam varathu...thats y i said both men and women must stand up for the way women are treated.

I did not get u!!!!!!!

what are u tryin to say? Women are getting beaten up by men?

but sometimes vice versa :lol:

[Shakthiprabha.]

Our mothers should be given alot of praise and honours for how they endure every beating and torture just to make sure we grow up without problems...ithu ninaichaal yen thaivodeiya vethanai gnyabagam varathu...thats y i said both men and women must stand up for the way women are treated.

I did not get u!!!!!!!

what are u tryin to say? Women are getting beaten up by men?

but sometimes vice versa :lol:

:D :lol:

[Hulkster]

Last time i meant and to a certain extent of now.....if not why would i fight against the violence shown to women?....ithu ellam paarthu antha kaduvul enna seiyuraaro...

[crazy]

So, u would just look at a guy's pic, TALK TO HIM 100 WORDS and say 'yes'????????? A decision over a cuppa coffee?

no no i would prefer love marriage, but i dont know how it gonna work!
i sometimes think it would be fine if i find a guy much elder than me to marry. he may look after me like a father!(its weird, but its just a thought)

u are VERY INTERESTING crazy :)
I can write story on you :)

oh pls write a story. that would be great there a lots of unspoken things.
hmh naan pesi pesiye paadiyaha poren. idhula kalyanam! :lol:

[Shakthiprabha.]

Violence on woman would change only when society's attitude towards single women changes.

[crazy]

Violence on woman would change only when society's attitude towards single women changes.
enna violence?

[Fire111999]

So, u would just look at a guy's pic, TALK TO HIM 100 WORDS and say 'yes'????????? A decision over a cuppa coffee?

no no i would prefer love marriage, but i dont know how it gonna work!
i sometimes think it would be fine if i find a guy much elder than me to marry. he may look after me like a father!(its weird, but its just a thought)

i love that marriage too.. :P :P

:shock:

Guess today...... all are sharing weird feelings :lol:

at least, i don't feel like that!!!

[NM]

IMHO :

Whether it is Love marriage or Arranged marriage, it all lies in the couple's hands to make the maariage work.
I've known many Love and Arranged marriages end up in divorces.
My cousin loved this girl since she was 11. She loved him too, and after courting for 7 years, they got married. She was only 19. They have 3 beautiful children. But, she fell in love with another man when she was abt 31 and they divorced a year later :cry: :cry: Sad isn't it? They were such a perfect couple!

Crazy : you shoudn't worry too much..when the time comes, Love will definitely find you..... :D

[Shakthiprabha.]

NM,

Really wonder WHAT GOES WRONG SOMETIMES.
I feel very sad reading it :( .
Its painful.

[Hulkster]

Do we understand the meaning of love or is the work of humans not being satisfied with their life will be a reflection of NM's story. Enna thaan seivethu...kathalodeiya concept unmaiyilae purinthaal approm entha kathaiyilae evala periya thiruppam varaathu

[crazy]

Crazy : you shoudn't worry too much..when the time comes, Love will definitely find you..... :D

hmh hope so. :roll:
thanks :)

[Shakthiprabha.]

kaathal endral enna?

its
GIVING UP,
ENDURING,
PATIENCE,
SELFLESS LIFE,
COMMITMENT/HONESTY
CARING,
AFFECTION,
TRUE-LOVE
FINALLY right amount of lust( when talkin about spouses or lovers)

I suppose many do not appreciate or offer first 5 qualities off late!

[Hulkster]

Akka i agree with you in all of the aspects except true-love as there is only one sort of love and that is love...true-love and fake-love are coined by those who dunt really understand the concept...and please do not connect lust with love...love is purely of emotions and of the aspects u stated above..lust is more towards sex which is totally different from love.

Anyway good description :thumbsup:

[NM]

NM,

Really wonder WHAT GOES WRONG SOMETIMES.
I feel very sad reading it :( .
Its painful. I know...shakthi :cry: i feel for my cousin!! and i do miss the kids, they wonderful kids but their mother has their custody. :cry:

[NM]

kaathal endral enna?

its
GIVING UP,
ENDURING,
PATIENCE,
SELFLESS LIFE,
COMMITMENT/HONESTY
CARING,
AFFECTION,
TRUE-LOVE
FINALLY right amount of lust( when talkin about spouses or lovers)

I suppose many do not appreciate or offer first 5 qualities off late!shakthi....add the next 3 too.....
ippothaan kaathal pisaasa aayiduchche....appuram enga intha giving up, enduring ellaam..... :lol: sad isn't it.........more and more youngsters end up in lusty relationship rather than the ever-lasting loving relationship :(

[NM]

Do we understand the meaning of love or is the work of humans not being satisfied with their life will be a reflection of NM's story. Enna thaan seivethu...kathalodeiya concept unmaiyilae purinthaal approm entha kathaiyilae evala periya thiruppam varaathuif you find another after knowing a person for 7yrs, married him and have his kids and lived with him for 13yrs..then, i don't think you know the meaning of love.... :(

[Shakthiprabha.]

nm :(

may be something better is destined for ur cousin. Varuthama irukku.

hulk,

u are calling me akka :? (ennai theriyuma.... i kinda dont understand most of these new ids :oops: )

anyway hulk, I agree there is no true love and false love therez only love. :) :thumbsup:

I said IN THE CASE OF spouse, love along with lust MAY BE mixed. ( i did not mean to say LUST IS LOVE)

[crazy]

anyway hulk, I agree there is no true love and false love therez only love. :) :thumbsup:



akka why do u think ppl get divorced and stuffs, when they got married by love, is this b'coz they didn't underdtand them well? :roll:

[Hulkster]

Yenukku ellareiyum akka kuppittu palagi pochi...engae ellarum yennai vida periyavangala irukkaanga athaan.

Oh u meant lust with love....alright that is true then.

[Shakthiprabha.]

hulk,

naan romba chinna ponnu. I am only 17 years :roll: youngest of the lot here. :)

crazy,

its not UNDERSTANDING.

its LACK OF SELFLESS ATTITUDE
lack of qualities like

COMPROMISE
ADJUSTMENT
ACCEPTANCE

etc

and LOADS OF EGO

Marriage WONT WORK, even with MOST COMPATIBLE LOVERS unless they COMPROMISE (WITH BIGGGGGG C)

[Fire111999]

agree with u SP! compromise is very important!

[Hulkster]

Sering chinna SP.....Marriage requires both compromising and understanding yeah......that is where planning also comes in too which actually should be done before the marriage(i prefer it b4 marriage athaan appadi poitaen)

[NM]

shakthi : you're right......marriage needs lots of Compromise with a big C :)

[Arthi]

Nice Topic :D
But what to write... I donot know Love Marriage... and I donot want arranged marriage :roll:
Guruji????

[ssanjinika]

Marriage like all other relationships does require quite a bit of compromise FROM BOTH PARTNERS .

[Sanguine Sridhar]

Marriage like all other relationships does require quite a bit of compromise FROM BOTH PARTNERS .
Partners fits the word "Both" if i am not wrong :roll:

[Shakthiprabha.]

arthi :) :D

[ssanjinika]

Sri : :lol: :oops:
ur totally rite :P...but ahem..partners can mean more than two :oops:

[selvakumar]

Sri : :lol: :oops:
ur totally rite :P...but ahem..partners can mean more than two :oops:


I think we are discussing on partners under MARRIAGE thread.

NOt sure whether you take this one as a BUSINESS thread.

If that is the case, then WITH TRUE MANMADHANS's roaming all the way,

You can take the meaning of PARTNERS in that sense too :P :P :D

Good post SS :clap: :clap: :lol:

[ssanjinika]

thks Selva..and I assure you that I did remember that this was a marriage thread :wink: :lol:

[selvakumar]

thks Selva..and I assure you that I did remember that this was a marriage thread :wink: :lol:

True Lies :cry:

[crazy]

crazy,

its not UNDERSTANDING.

its LACK OF SELFLESS ATTITUDE
lack of qualities like

COMPROMISE
ADJUSTMENT
ACCEPTANCE

etc

and LOADS OF EGO

Marriage WONT WORK, even with MOST COMPATIBLE LOVERS unless they COMPROMISE (WITH BIGGGGGG C)

:roll: i sometimes used to think that oneday i will marry a wrong person and get divorced and what will happen next!
iam already a notorious fellow(as per my parents/others) if something happens like that. the whole community will blame me! God iam so afraid of growing old!

[ssanjinika]

crazy,
are you a guy or a girl :oops:
enga neenga fellow ana puberty ceremony threadla neega unga function pathi post pannirkenga..adhan ketten :P

[selvakumar]

crazy,
are you a guy or a girl :oops:
enga neenga fellow ana puberty ceremony threadla neega unga function pathi post pannirkenga..adhan ketten :P

:rotfl:

Sothanai male sothanai ..podumaada saami

:lol:

Dedicated to Crazy :lol:

[Lambretta]

*digr
True Lies :cry:
Selva, wer u being ironic here? I mean, lies being true?...:?

Neways, gtgo on an errand....so BRB.

[ssanjinika]

:rotfl:

Sothanai male sothanai ..podumaada saami

:lol:

Dedicated to Crazy :lol:
:lol:
Another mystique huh :wink:

PS for those who dont know mystique ,she is a character in the popular X-Men movie series who can lift shapes.Turn into a man ,a woman ,reptile whatever at will :D.

[selvakumar]

SS,

I hope crazy won't hammer us for this..:lol:

Lambretta machan !!

TRUE LIES >> LIKE KADAVUL PAATHI MIRUGAM PAATHI :rotfl: (sorry SS :oops: :lol: )

[Lambretta]

Lambretta machan !!

TRUE LIES >> LIKE KADAVUL PAATHI MIRUGAM PAATHI :rotfl: (sorry SS :oops: :lol: )
Ohh.....ok! :lol2:

[selvakumar]

Lambretta machan !!

TRUE LIES >> LIKE KADAVUL PAATHI MIRUGAM PAATHI :rotfl: (sorry SS :oops: :lol: )
Ohh.....ok! :lol2:


<dgn>

machan ! back to Lambretta :D YOur PREVIOUS SIGAPPU ROJAKKAL KAMAL WAS STUNNING :P

</dgn>

[Lambretta]

<dgn>

machan ! back to Lambretta :D YOur PREVIOUS SIGAPPU ROJAKKAL KAMAL WAS STUNNING :P
</dgn>
Tks macha! :D 8-)
I thot so too....but *sumone* here felt uncomfy w/ Kamal's serious stare in tat pic..... :oops: :P
Plus it semed to me tat sum others still didnt get wat a Lambretta is, so.....! :)
Neways, will see if I can find another '70s pic. of Kamal....but a better one....! :D
</dgn>

[Fire111999]

<dgn>

machan ! back to Lambretta :D YOur PREVIOUS SIGAPPU ROJAKKAL KAMAL WAS STUNNING :P
</dgn>
Tks macha! :D 8-)
I thot so too....but *sumone* here felt uncomfy w/ Kamal's serious stare in tat pic..... :oops: :P
Plus it semed to me tat sum others still didnt get wat a Lambretta is, so.....! :)
Neways, will see if I can find another '70s pic. of Kamal....but a better one....! :D
</dgn>

eh hm, have whatever avatar u want. anyway, i won't be ard for abt 8 weeks starting 26th april.

[Lambretta]

eh hm, have whatever avatar u want. anyway, i won't be ard for abt 8 weeks starting 26th april.
Um....y? :) I thot u said u wer going to India only in june? :?

[Fire111999]

nope, uni's starting. it'll be real tight then. so i'd not have time to hub. and i've started doing yoga in the morning and it takes more than an hr! so takes away more of my time.

[Lambretta]

*digr
nope, uni's starting. it'll be real tight then. so i'd not have time to hub. and i've started doing yoga in the morning and it takes more than an hr! so takes away more of my time.

Ohh...ok......hav a good semester then! :D

Yoga takes more than an hour? hmm......we do it for like, less than 45 mins....

/digr

[Fire111999]

*digr
nope, uni's starting. it'll be real tight then. so i'd not have time to hub. and i've started doing yoga in the morning and it takes more than an hr! so takes away more of my time.

Ohh...ok......hav a good semester then! :D

Yoga takes more than an hour? hmm......we do it for like, less than 45 mins....

/digr

thanks.

hm..... 47 asanas, holding each position for a bit more than a min. and time to change positions, takes me abt 1hr 15 mins!

really end of digr now!