Body language

[Shakthiprabha.]

Lets discuss bout it.

What constitutes GOOD BODY LANGUAGE.
Is it connected with the TONE, AND WORDS WE USE?
OR IS IT THE posture?

Talk about OTHER body languages too. Like body language tht says "I LIKE U" "I FIND U INTERESTING" "I AM IN A HURRY" "i AM BORED" eTC?


acc to you, what consitutes a RUDE BODY LANGUAGE?
Which of the foll option is MOST RUDE.

[Navin]

:roll: depends on the situation a lot

[Shakthiprabha.]

hmm.

I mean, over all we judge a person, BASED ON SOME BODY LANGUAGE Of his.

as a rude, pomp or friendly person.

[Querida]

Well Shakti I would think a friendly person doesn't necessarily have to smile but doesn't seem rigid and tense around you...but sometimes the nicest person seems rude-like because they are shy, reserved or nervous.

I know I have mentioned before that here if you're going to be a good "people-person" you have to look people in the eyes....and I simply hate that! :x It's makes me all shy and flustered...and it's with anyone new...except kids i guess. I also am very quiet at first...barely whispering...but yeah alot of friends tell me they thought i was stuck up at first cause I would not engage in conversation with them fully or ask about school and look away or at my hands or past their heads...when all i was trying to do was fight my shyness.

I also know some people look so damn rude when you don't know them and then you wonder when you do get to know them if they are actually the same person! Usually they set their face rigid, stare past you, their lips are set in a hard line...they mutter or look away or totally ignore you...

[Braandan]

If you are living in the same country/area for many years
without moving out to any other country, then you can judge the person's attitude by body language. But different countries and cultures have different body language. A good gesture in one country can be taken as bad in another. At least in one country a man looking at the lady in the eyes is taken as bad as it is an romantic overture. Petting an infant has different ways in different countries. So you must consider all these when you try to judge. "Personal space" is defined differently in each culture. For example in highly populated India, you can stand closely touching another person in the queue, which is considered highly rude in other countries, even in a queue.

[Shakthiprabha.]

good posts querida and braandan :)

I often am mistaked for being a proud arrogant person, only to be clarified as to my extreme opposite nature, once they get to know me :(

I am surprisingly, NOT RESERVED, smiling (when needed), talk straight into the eyes, not shy, EXTREMELY PATIENT LISTENER too.

Yet the first look, and ppl brand me proud and rude. It makes one wonder, 'WHERE the hell I GO WRONG?!?!!?"

I try to cut down on my expressive gestures (which probably may be the cause for misunderstanding :( :shock: )

[Shekhar]

If it is good body, I don't mind the language!! :wink: :D :D

[Raghu]

If it is good body, I don't mind the language!! :wink: :D :D :lol:

[Raghu]

There is a saying 'Never Judge the book by it's cover' , this is SO true

This is what happens to me, those who have seen my photo(SP acca, Shekar, Querida...) may agree or disagree with me.

when I go to work , ie wearing Shirt, Trouser, some times, a suit ,ppl say I look a Dr, IT professional or a software engineer, and a PERFECT Gentlemen :wink: , and assume I am soft hearted( very true) and gentle(not true) type of guy.

but then again, when I am in my GYM clothes, ie T-Shirt and Track suit bottoms, PPL say I look very rough and intimidating( may b cos of the size) and so I look so aggressive person (which is so true), but NEVER EVER intimidating or show off type, :cry: :cry:

It would be highly appreciated if any one responds to this, just curious to know , how other ppl judge the book(me) by the cover.

:? :roll:

Querida,


Fully agree with ur post!, good post, keep it up :D

[Shakthiprabha.]

Raghu

:cry: :cry:


///////It would be highly appreciated if any one responds to this, just curious to know , how other ppl judge the book(me) by the cover. ///////

I am too so dissapointed and sad with ppl judging with outcover concept. I really wish TO KNOW where exactly things go wrong? WHAT MAKES A PERSON conclude other is arrogant or rude?

without even KNOWING the person??????!!!

[Raghu]

Raghu

:cry: :cry:


///////It would be highly appreciated if any one responds to this, just curious to know , how other ppl judge the book(me) by the cover. ///////

I am too so dissapointed and sad with ppl judging with outcover concept. I really wish TO KNOW where exactly things go wrong? WHAT MAKES A PERSON conclude other is arrogant or rude?

without even KNOWING the person??????!!!

SP acca,

These are all 'STEREO TYPES' left by our ancestors, but some blindly follow it :(

[bingleguy]

Different types of Non-Verbal communication could be

Proximics, Kinesics n one more(sorry forgot its name ;-) )

I can give u some examples of Non-Verbal Behaviour....
Brisk, erect walk - Confidence
Standing with hands on hips - Readiness, Aggression
Hand to cheek - Evaluation, Thinking ....

May be ppl can talk the general topic, Non-Verbal communication too

[bingleguy]

Different types of Non-Verbal communication could be

Proximics, Kinesics n ParaLinguistics
Kinesics
======
Kinesics is the non-verbal behaviour related to movement, either of any part of the body, or the body as a whole. In short all communicative body movements are generally classified as kinesic.
Proxemics
=======
The way personal space is structured is referred to as proxemics, we call it the personal bubble around us

Paralinguistics
===========
The study of Paralanguage(Paralanguage is communication that goes beyond the specific spoken words)


I can give u some examples of Non-Verbal Behaviour....
Brisk, erect walk - Confidence
Standing with hands on hips - Readiness, Aggression
Hand to cheek - Evaluation, Thinking ....

May be ppl can talk the general topic, Non-Verbal communication too

[thenRalkAththu]

If it is good body, I don't mind the language!! :wink: :D :DAny preferences regarding the body like male or female?

[bingleguy]

:shock:

Villangamaana kelvi thenRalkAththu ! ;-)

[1&only]

If it is good body, I don't mind the language!! :wink: :D :DAny preferences regarding the body like male or female?


Hey hey, the mouth is also important, if not the most important.

Look at Barbie and Ken. Nice bodies and no languages.

Shekhar, do you want to say that bodies like of that Lolo Ferrari do count and not her language?

[Shakthiprabha.]

very funny. The way this thread is taking SHARP TURNS. (should I say curves? ) :evil:

******

/////////////////Different types of Non-Verbal communication could be

Proximics, Kinesics n one more(sorry forgot its name )

I can give u some examples of Non-Verbal Behaviour....
Brisk, erect walk - Confidence
Standing with hands on hips - Readiness, Aggression
Hand to cheek - Evaluation, Thinking ....

May be ppl can talk the general topic, Non-Verbal communication too//////////////

bg,

wow! That gave me VALUABLE BIT OF INFO.

I think i do these..........

erect walk - Confidence
Standing with hands on hips - Aggression

:? :? hmm!!! :?: hmmm!!!!

plz go on with more on non-verbal commn too :)

[bingleguy]

There u go Shakthi m others .... some info about Kinesics, that i gathered in Business Communications Skills !

Kinesic communication is probably one of the most talked about, and most obvious non-verbal communication form. Unfortunately, it is also one of the most confusing areas of non-verbal communication behaviour as the various meanings communicated through body movements seem endless across cultures.

Emblems are non-verbal messages that have a verbal counterpart. For example, the British sign for Victory (forefinger and middle finger erect) symbolises the letter V, a sign for victory often seen painted onto house walls during WWII. However, the same movement may symbolise the number two in the US and may be seen as insulting in Australia.

[1&only]

very funny. The way this thread is taking SHARP TURNS. (should I say curves? ) :evil:


You mean a 90-60-90 turn?

[RP]

hmm.

I mean, over all we judge a person, BASED ON SOME BODY LANGUAGE Of his.

as a rude, pomp or friendly person.


Thats definitely an incorrect way to judge people.....it depends on situations a lot :roll:

[Querida]

Found this interesting SP:

http://www.blifaloo.com/info/lies_eyes.php

[gorgeous gaayini]

reserved...i dont think that is rude... :) its more like the persons personality and life.....

[Shakthiprabha.]

Intersting querida.

thx :)

Assume in a gang of 5 or 4,

a person repeatedly looks at one person and talks.

Why do u think he or she would do it?

* more comfortable
* finds him or her friendly
* can relate more or wave length matches
* love
* attraction
* NOTHING. (just accidentally seem to look at one person more)

[dev]

SP,

It can be any of those U've listed... Depends on those conversing & the situation...

[bingleguy]

Good Find Querida

[Fire111999]

If you are living in the same country/area for many years
without moving out to any other country, then you can judge the person's attitude by body language. But different countries and cultures have different body language. A good gesture in one country can be taken as bad in another. At least in one country a man looking at the lady in the eyes is taken as bad as it is an romantic overture. Petting an infant has different ways in different countries. So you must consider all these when you try to judge. "Personal space" is defined differently in each culture. For example in highly populated India, you can stand closely touching another person in the queue, which is considered highly rude in other countries, even in a queue.

i know that i feel extremely irritated when people always keep bumping into me in a queue or in a crowded bus in india. i've been more crowded buses elsewhere and not been touched once. so it's not that it is not possible to keep a distance. it's just that pple in india don't think that it's important. they are only concerned that guys shouldn't touch girls. they don't feel that there can be such a thing as personal space that will be invaded even if it is a female bumping into another female.

[Fire111999]

Intersting querida.

thx :)

Assume in a gang of 5 or 4,

a person repeatedly looks at one person and talks.

Why do u think he or she would do it?

* more comfortable
* finds him or her friendly
* can relate more or wave length matches
* love
* attraction
* NOTHING. (just accidentally seem to look at one person more)

i think could be any of the above except not accidentally.

[Shakthiprabha.]

fire dev....... kewl thanks.

assuming....... its an official discussion or talks......... then.......... dont u think its more because

"the person finds u in his or her wave length?"

[Fire111999]

fire dev? what's that mean?

anyway, yeah, it's most probable that in an official discussion, the person might have more eye contact with someone who he or she feels understands and perhaps also agrees with him or her (though it is not necessary that the other person has to agree, it is sufficient if the other person is on the same wavelength and understands what he or she is talking abt)

[solona]

But I am very outspoken and chatter box character, I laugh and giggle always. But this type of beahving has also the same problems as RESERVED persons.

People aften mistake me to be somone who trys to be the centre of attraction and take us to be "I know everthing"characters
I am, was and will be a chatter box from the age of kindergarden until now.
Abroad, as soon as a girl is smiling and giggly the mistake that as sign for a "easy girl"
Loving to laugh and live at the fullest is nothing wrong no.
My mother always used to advise me to lauh less, she used to tell that men prefer softspoken and reserved girls. She used to give me knocks on the head whenever I burst out laughing (which happens often)
I have a good friend who is so soft spoken, reserved etc but has done things that would have never dared even in dreams, but she has a better reputation then me.
So what is the best body language MYSTERY for me

But now I really control myselves when I want to have good laugh or talk and try to act as a LADY

[Lambretta]

Abroad, as soon as a girl is smiling and giggly the mistake that as sign for a "easy girl"
Hmm.....I thot it was so in India..? :?


I have a good friend who is so soft spoken, reserved etc but has done things that would have never dared even in dreams, but she has a better reputation then me.
God! Now this really worries me! :shock:
Whom cud u trust now........! :oops:

[dev]

I have a good friend who is so soft spoken, reserved etc but has done things that would have never dared even in dreams, but she has a better reputation then me.
So what is the best body language MYSTERY for me

But now I really control myselves when I want to have good laugh or talk and try to act as a LADY

:lol: Trying to act as a lady!!!... come on...just be urself & don't be too worried abt what others think abt U... You can't act for too long... & it's very true that soft spoken ones who can change colors for teh situation/ person always have better reputationcompared to those who speak out their opinion right away...

I too have been (mis)understood to be a dumbo as I don't talk much when I meet someone for the first few times...& even otherwise, it takes a long time for me to feel comfortable with a person... But once I get comfortable with a person, I can talk non-stop for hrs together... I've tried to overcome this 'starting trouble' but all those efforts didn't produce any good results... Infact, it started turing disasterous... so, once for all, I decided to stop pleasing others & be myself... Afterall, I can only be myself & not what others want me to be...:)

[a.ratchasi]

dev, if I may add, some people also presume that those who do not talk much to be arrogant or shy or just plain stupid. Had my share of mishaps too. Though it doesn't bother me anymore! It feels good to be myself! :)

[dev]

dev, if I may add, some people also presume that those who do not talk much to be arrogant or shy or just plain stupid. Had my share of mishaps too. Though it doesn't bother me anymore! It feels good to be myself! :)

Yeah... that's true... & there are instances where ppl think that U r bored when U don't take part in a discussion... :roll: I have a neighbour who has a strong opinion that I'm a real dumbo & my husb is a genius coz he talks a lot... :lol: & the kind of ques she asks me to check my brilliance makes me laugh for hrs after she leaves...& I also love watching the shocked/ surprised look that she gives when I talk abt things they discuss(which I rarely do) & she once expressed openly 'oh, she too knows abt these things'.... :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Querida]

some people also presume that those who do not talk much to be arrogant or shy or just plain stupid. Had my share of mishaps too. Though it doesn't bother me anymore! It feels good to be myself!

Yup so right...though at times it does bother me still...i don't know it feels weird when close friends/relatives think back and say geez we thought you were so stuck-up...when i really wasn't trying to be so at all... :? moreso I never thought for one moment like that about them :roll: oh well i guess they stayed around to find out how I was cause I did something right. :) Dev close to your experience are people who think i don't know how to speak proper english and think I have some understanding problem because I'm being quiet...odd this is usually by people who are also immigrants so they get all superior until that is I have to open my mouth and answer...same thing when people speak in tamil and think i don't understand and then surprise surprise! :twisted: :P

[a.ratchasi]

I also love watching the shocked/ surprised look that she gives

:lol: :lol:
Especially when the look comes from a 'know it all' man aka relative!!

[dev]

Dev close to your experience are people who think i don't know how to speak proper english and think I have some understanding problem because I'm being quiet...odd this is usually by people who are also immigrants so they get all superior until that is I have to open my mouth and answer...same thing when people speak in tamil and think i don't understand and then surprise surprise! :twisted: :P

:lol: yeah, I too have had such experiences... funny conclusions ppl come to within minutes/hrs of meeting a person...

[solona]

Abroad, as soon as a girl is smiling and giggly the mistake that as sign for a "easy girl"
Hmm.....I thot it was so in India..? :?


I have a good friend who is so soft spoken, reserved etc but has done things that would have never dared even in dreams, but she has a better reputation then me.
God! Now this really worries me! :shock:
Whom cud u trust now........! :oops:


But Lamby, in my country(India) no one will aproach u and ask for date or something just because u laugh or talk loudly, which happen always here

Yeah unfortunately u men u look only at the cover of the book and never even try to read so u get cheated.

My best friend married one of my class mates(love marriage) because she was always in saree and saadai(plaits) and maaliga poo, they live abraod now and she left him at the police station one night because he shouted at her and raised his hand and they are seperated now.
Me, I was always in churidar and pony tail who guys always put in the slot too modern will never even dare do that to my husband

So do not judge girls my their appearance !

[pavalamani pragasam]

A point to be noted!!!

[goodsense]

Being soft spoken or hard spoken has nothing to do with character. One's usual behavior could be soft spoken, but when angry, could get hard spoken.

A dress code on a particular occasion with a glass of white for example, can be taken by someone in reading their entire character and someone they haven't even met. And usually for ladies, they would be fully attired, until sometime late in a party, taking off a jacket or a shawl. Some people are even aware that it is an occasion and you are appropriately dressed (obviously it depends on where in the world you are too trying to "fit in") for it. But what can stop them to defame you someone out of self-interest.

Coming back to being soft spoke; it can be a sexist old-fashioned thing. A few months back I went to the gym in the morning session. One older woman said to me it is usually rowdy in the mornings, that I wouldn't believe how the girls are raising their voices like men fighting for machines and equiptments. It's almost like saying, women should be seen but not heard :wink:

[Fire111999]

Being soft spoken or hard spoken has nothing to do with character. One's usual behavior could be soft spoken, but when angry, could get hard spoken.

A dress code on a particular occasion with a glass of white for example, can be taken by someone in reading their entire character and someone they haven't even met. And usually for ladies, they would be fully attired, until sometime late in a party, taking off a jacket or a shawl. Some people are even aware that it is an occasion and you are appropriately dressed (obviously it depends on where in the world you are too trying to "fit in") for it. But what can stop them to defame you someone out of self-interest.

Coming back to being soft spoke; it can be a sexist old-fashioned thing. A few months back I went to the gym in the morning session. One older woman said to me it is usually rowdy in the mornings, that I wouldn't believe how the girls are raising their voices like men fighting for machines and equiptments. It's almost like saying, women should be seen but not heard :wink:

i agree with you there.

and i can't comment on the gym cos it's been ages since i last went! but i think that is just as bad as saying that children should be seen but not heard!

[goodsense]

Well I am soft spoken and those who take me for granted want to know if I am the same person when I am inflamed :lol:

[Shakthiprabha.]

Its sad.

I am supp to be a very soft spoken person.

PPl at first instance or consecutive instances initially misunderstand and assume i am arrogant and rude due to my bad body language. ( :? wonder why)

When they know i am not, THEY ALWAYS TAKE ME FOR GRANTED :evil: :mad: :(

Its like.................. "oh we thought shez a devil....... she actually is not........... so they play with me patience to EXTREME levels"

Sad part is, I STILL PUT UP AND SMILE most of the time :shock: . When occasionally or rarely I talk back or answer back, its considered too rude or arrogant :shock:

Why do they assume, PPL WHO PUT UP, ALWAYS WOULD AND MUST AND SHOULD keep on putting up :? :P

anyway.......... just felt like sharing some traits of mine. :)