Dealing with aging facts

[Shakthiprabha.]

We all go thro it.

Ive read stories during my teens and laughed at it.
Always felt,

"WHAT BIG DEAL, cant it be accepted gracefully"?

It pains to know, WE ARE AGING after all!

I happen to notice it 3 to 5 months back....... minute differences in texture of skin, greying here and there...... and definitely face started showing signs of aging.

Ive always been used to being praised for 'young-looks' until 5 months back, when I started noticing, how praises are reducing.
Its difficult. Ive secretly CRIED many times in these 5 months :oops:

I gave auto-sugesstions and that made it lil easy.......... i know its got to be accepted. I finally FACED IT.

I should say, now i have tackled and accepted it finally, THAT, YES, I AM AGING. LEMME ACCEPT IT. No regrets too. :)

PPl can share their experiences if any or give suggestions to overcome the phase.

[Lambretta]

Ive read stories during my teens and laughed at it.
Always felt,
"WHAT BIG DEAL, cant it be accepted gracefully"?
Exactly how I too hv felt abt it! :)
Which is y I nearly always scoff at my mum (whoz 61) when she spends every sunday applying hair dye! :lol:


I happen to notice it 3 to 5 months back....... minute differences in texture of skin, greying here and there...... and definitely face started showing signs of aging.
Well, I feel it pains all the more to notice ur getting grey hairs even b4 u actually start aging! :shock:
It happens to be very common nowadays even among ppl. below 30, esp. believe it or not, in the case of urs truly! :(

[Shakthiprabha.]

lambretta,

Grey hair is not the only aging factor :)

There are things like...

ur skin texture loosening and showing ur age. U would know bout it when exactly during middle age of 35 :)

[Lambretta]

lambretta,

Grey hair is not the only aging factor :)
Yea SP I know, tats wat makes me feel pained.....since I'm not even 'old' enuff to start aging......:(

[Shakthiprabha.]

I should tell one thing.

Once u start aging, we think about HOW SILLY we were. Its more matured life. Its nice in a way. Unperturbed by too many unwanted thinking.

Why do u WANNA start aging?

Have u heard of avvaiyar?

[Lambretta]

I should tell one thing.

Once u start aging, we think about HOW SILLY we were. Its more matured life. Its nice in a way. Unperturbed by too many unwanted thinking.

Why do u WANNA start aging?

Have u heard of avvaiyar?
Um.....I think I hav......but no I don't wanna start aging yet! I'm nortr even married yet! :(
It jus can;t happen neways since I'm only 24! :lol:
Hmm...but not all ppl. who start aging take it in the right spirit o course...:)
Neways, I'll hav to log off for now, gtgo get sum sleep! Cyl.....:)

[goodsense]

Severe stress can cause premature aging and make you look even ulgy. I have been through this. During stressful periods, people do not even eat healthy, take care of bodies, have no motivation to do so etc.

When things get back to normal, you can still see streaks of the premature aging, like damage done to texture of skin etc. We see it because we know ourselves best, but others can't see it. Some people have the tendency to look younger than they actually are and boy wasn't for degree of stress I am sure many people would keep putting me about 10 years younger :D

Premature aging hurts more than natural aging and it hurts even more when insult is added to injury.

people in the west overall tend to look younger when compared to their age groups in third worlds countries. I realized than when I was in South America recently. A few small days school mates still around looked like my aunts. They would not put me over mid 20's (like some people in the west) but I am.

I hate seeing older women trying to look younger in the sense that they would wear teanage clothing and don't nat tio act like moms and so on. But then, you don't know what these poor souls are trying to make up for :P

If you learn to love yourself and take as much care possible, you can look as young as you want to be and feel and possibly die when you want.

It is due to these changes in aging, that they say, as you get older, external beauty means little and in the end, it is not what counts.

[dev]

Each age has its own beauty...Afterall, we didn't have any say on our looks when we were born... God gave it to us & he can take it anytime he wants to... Not only by the ageing process but even otherwise...:)

Rather than worrying abt beauty, I would be worried if I find myself not being healthy as I age... I wish I be in good health atleast until I'm 70 as I've planned a lot for my retirement years...:D

[goodsense]

Sorry if I sound a bit too peevish :oops: Having high fever, came home early to get to bed, but felt a little lonley and bored after a short nap.

[pavalamani pragasam]

Shakthi, learn to love the aging process, the grace, the reverence, the "glow" it brings along. As dev rightly said transfer your concern to health, everything else follows amicably. kaay pazuththa pirakuthaan rusi! :rotfl:

[goodsense]

It is the purpose of life that is most important of all and how that has been achieved in the aging process. It's not how old you are, but what you have to show (how you have lived through good and bad times) for it in satisfying purpose. Snobbish attitude, haughtiness etc. in relating to others found in young and old, only give internal satisfaction (which is only temporary, people end up suffering for these things and its usually the less wise and being older does not necessarily mean wiser) , not internal beauty.

Few people have internal and external beauty and few people with both are less attached to external beauty and able to focus on whats more important.

As Dev kind a said it, external beauty eventually fades. How many men and women at age 60 and 70 we can refer to as beautiful or handsome based on external appearance? Not many. And I am sure if you ask those people - if they had to relive their lives which beauty would they focus on, most will say internal (and that is only because of the wisdom they have gained) and the people who have focused on this from a younger age, reap the benefits when they are old - they die with satisfaction.

[Shakthiprabha.]

True pp maam :grin: :thumbsup:


I found most of u misunderstood the topic as TRYIN TO LOOK young when u are old. Or to dab urself with loads of make up to look funny rather than graceful and healthy.

This thread is to do with FIRST SIGNs of aging around early middle age, and dealing with FIRST SIGNS of aging :)

I do agree with many sensible points of dev and goodsense :)

[pavalamani pragasam]

Sure, I got your point correctly! Skindeep makeup never carries any weight with discerners/followers of true beauty. Many gradual internal & external changes happen appearing as symptoms varying from person to person depending on the individual's hormonal, genetic heredity. At all costs diet consciousness, regular physical exercise, a positive outlook of life will speak through the inevitable aging symptoms!

[pavalamani pragasam]

[tscii:41ea307e49]It is easy, surprising, interesting, unbelievable to watch, feel oneself “aging” emotionally, intellectually & socially as the years roll by. When I saw the Malayalam movie “Chemmeen” in my early teens I was very touched by the plight of the lovers. A 2nd viewing of the same movie after a few years reversed my reaction. I felt revulsion![/tscii:41ea307e49]

[Anoushka]

[tscii:9e1939a9a5]Shakti: I am 30+ and I don't feel it generally until I am talking to someone and they say, oh you finished college in 94? That is when I realise what my age is.

I liked it when my cousins called me "akka" when I was young and I love it when my nieces and nephews call me "chitti / athai" now! I have nieces and nephews who are going to Engineering college now... The funny bit though is when I go out with my cousins or my younger brother, outsiders ask "Is this your little sister?" and people who go with me get irritated :lol:

I think aging is a beautiful natural process and also it is all in the mind. The outside skin and hair aging doesn't matter one bit as long as you are young at heart! I see Irish women at 80 happily riding their bicycles, not worried one bit about being old! My Dad got into golfing in his early 50’s! My father-in-law says “I am a 65 year old “young” man” :)

All I can suggest is as a few other hubbers have said, eat right, sleep well, be happy and everything will be fine :)

A few years ago I used to be able to sit all night and listen to stories from friends, whereas now I go to bed at 10:30 sharp, come what may. People tell me I have grown old, but I say, it is a sign of maturity! I am sensible enough not to do an all nighter when I know I have to wake up on time the next day! I prefer sleeping on time and waking up on time!

I am fussy about where I stay when I travel these days, again when people say that is because I have grown old, I say I have grown out of staying in any dump, I have done my time staying anywhere because it came cheap, now I have matured enough to think that I can afford to stay in a decent enough place and not any dump will do for me.

I think as we grow older, a few things change, it is only right to accept it and move on.
[/tscii:9e1939a9a5]

[Lambretta]

My mother @ 61 takes far more interest/enthu in watching newer films (mostly Bollywood) than I do.... :lol:
I wonder if this is an attempt to conceal the psychological effect of aging??! She already has hair dye to coneal the physical effect (to sum extent)! :lol: :D

[Shakthiprabha.]

lambretta :lol: :P

anou,

good post. thanks :)

Its right to accept it.

I have (am )accepted it.
I am tryin to move on. Actually I AM moving on.

thanks ppl for nice words :)

[Shakthiprabha.]

[tscii:adc0d92705]It is easy, surprising, interesting, unbelievable to watch, feel oneself “aging” emotionally, intellectually & socially as the years roll by. When I saw the Malayalam movie “Chemmeen” in my early teens I was very touched by the plight of the lovers. A 2nd viewing of the same movie after a few years reversed my reaction. I felt revulsion![/tscii:adc0d92705]

true true. how rightly (wisely) put pp maam.

I was not even in my teens during ALAIGAl OIVATHILLAI.

When I saw it later around early teens (when they telecasted in TV)

It had great impact. I even cried and laughed along with the chars. :roll:

At around late teens. I found the same film... kinda cute. enjoyable than emotional :)

During 20z I found it.... hilarious and started finding faults in themes.

Now I find it absurd to talk about two 16 years falling in love. HOW dumb to fall in love and think THAT they have found true love!!! :roll:

hmmmmmmmmmmmm........ aging (nah nah...... maturing :P )

:D

[selvakumar]

I have no idea to comment on this!! I never felt as if my mother and father are becoming old. It is others who are telling me that they have become old. Still I enjoy the same innocent conversation with my mother. Still I treat my father as my good friend. Even I never felt as if I am 20+. I loved the teenage part of my life. So, even if someone tells me that u are more matured now, I won't agree with them. Still I am a teenage guy (in my heart and behaviours). I want to be like this throughout my life. When I was referred as software engg, I felt proud for the first time. But later on I thought that the term is making me to work in a circle. I am happy to be a student. Infact lot more people asked me to avoid fight with teenage hubbers here. I asked them why??

SP - I still want to refer u as my friend (not mom,aunty, sister). I never considered u as someone who is 34+. I can even call u - honey!! (I am sure, u won't agree with that). Live and enjoy every moment like a teenage/kid).

P.S: Please avoid opening threads that deals with age.

[Lambretta]

SP - I still want to refer u as my friend (not mom,aunty, sister). I never considered u as someone who is 34+. I can even call u - honey!!
ohooooo...... :roll: :P
Enna Selva, ennachu ungaluku, dhideer-nu ivvolo accelerator raise panni porenguh?!! :lol:

[Shakthiprabha.]

Selvakumar,

I dont differentiate anyone based on their age. I have freinds (I am proud and happy to say are the cutest and greatest ) who are around 70 plus and who are around 15 plus. I actually blend with the person's mental maturity easily.

This thread was not to talk bout that. You are inexperienced to understand what I meant. :)

It is not about
physical looks or
fear of loss of youth
fear of loss of beauty
or whatever.

its something else. Its about emotional changes. SOME HUBBERS caught my vibration :)

I remember a hindi movie (if someone can refer which movie I would be happy) Starring rajkapoor and randir kapoor.

family soap talkin bout stages of life. I watched it as a kid in TV. The climax dialogue still RINGS IN MY EARS.

Randir kapoor would say- "Daddy mein bhi bangaya daddy"

Rajkapoor would hold the infant (his grandson) in his arms and say.....

"Aur mein bangaya dada(grandpa?!?" :)

cute words. to indicate TIME FLIES.

I think I should have named this thread

as

"TIME FLIES" :) Something to do with SUDDEN emotional changes maturity which happen within u. :)

[Lambretta]

I have freinds (I am proud and happy to say are the cutest and greatest ) who are around 70 plus
Even I hav a few of such "friends"....mostly befriended them to hear abt the old times they lived in/old vehicles they had! :lol:


I remember a hindi movie (if someone can refer which movie I would be happy) Starring rajkapoor and randir kapoor. family soap talkin bout stages of life. I watched it as a kid in TV. The climax dialogue still RINGS IN MY EARS.
Randir kapoor would say- "Daddy mein bhi bangaya daddy"
Rajkapoor would hold the infant (his grandson) in his arms and say....."Aur mein bangaya dada(grandpa?!?" :)
Cud it be the movie "Kal Aaj Aur Kal" (1974), by ne chance?? Even Raj Kapoor's dad, Prithvi Raj acts in tat......


I think I should have named this thread as "TIME FLIES" :)
Hmm.....nope, I trhink not......'cos tat will sound more like talking abt things/events from the past rather than ppl. aging.....:)

[selvakumar]

I agree with u SP..

U mentioned about the emotional changes.

I am referring them indirectly in my post. If u feel like as if u r young till now, U will still behave/emote like a youth!!

That's what I was trying to convey there. Nothing more than that!! Also this thread has nothing more for me to post. If I have something else I ll convey that to u people.

Lambretta,
I can't get u. !! Anyhow, I explained my thoughts. I got used to calling people in their 40+ in my office with pet names. We enjoy it. That's what I meant there!!

[Shakthiprabha.]

lambretta,

yes its 'KAL AAJ AUR KAL'

I loved that movie. u are right bout prithviraj kapoor too :)

***

Selvakumar,

Relax. :) I do agree with u, regarding 'how young u are at heart, is the age u project to outside world' at times :)

[Lambretta]

Lambretta,
I can't get u. !! Anyhow, I explained my thoughts. I got used to calling people in their 40+ in my office with pet names. We enjoy it. That's what I meant there!!
Ok ok...forget it! To each their own I guess! I don't wanna sound overly 'conservative' now...let's move on w/ the topic....! :)

[Shakthiprabha.]

Kal aaj aur kal,

i am gonna get the CD and watch it again. ITS AGESSSSSS since I watched it. :)

[P_R]

All you people deserve a :notworthy:

I just cannot come to terms with ageing.

Opinions and priorities change over time. Whereas decisions and choices are to be taken NOW and they have long term effects. How can I be comfortable doing ANYTHING when I am rather sure I would grow to regret it (the unknown part is why I would come to regret it). There is nothing I hate more than blaming my past-self.
Becoming a different person makes me slowly lose respect for my current opinions,choices and decisions.

[Saya Setju]

What is aging? Never heard about it! And if there is an aging then that must be something physical.

[Shakthiprabha.]

hmm prabhu ram's post made me think of diff point of view of aging.

Dont we regret certain decisions of ours done hastily when young?

Diff perspective indeed!

"Ah......... very dumb of me to have acted/uttered that way or uttered that word!" and the repentence........following the same :)

Lessons learnt during the process add on to the wisdom making us guilty/wise/moulded-better .

[goodsense]

Come to think of it more and more, when my uncle and counsin turned 40, they were very scared and upset. They did not want to celebarte. One of my aunts, a nurse (who you would expect to accept aging with grace), when she turned 50 she was scared. Another turning 50 this year, said she can accept 30 and 40 not 50. When my mother turned 60, all her sisters sent her cards that were highly emotional. So there must be something emotional and frightening at the same time when you are hitting these figures :)

In addition to the changing bodily features (skin, hair, shape and weight), aging year after year, forces you to look back at what you have done and some people might not find it pleasant. You may want to change some things, but time has passed :(

[Shakthiprabha.]

Rgihtly said good sense.

I look at it this way.

u turn 20 ......... u are excited
u turn 30......... u become calm
u turn 35......... u accept u are middle aged
u turn 40......... u worry bout ur health
u turn 50.......... u are kinda SCARED and vigorously maintain ur good health. Quest about life and death begins.
u turn 60.......... u prepare urself for the inevitable... though u also maintain good health earnestly. Quest continues.
u turn 70............ u give up.... and start praying for health :)

[ssanjinika]

I dont know how to comment on this topic.Believe me I tried posting a few times before but deleted the contents before posting.Ageing is not something I think about.Wouldnt like it if I thought about it.I have friends younger than me and I hate it when they point that out :cry: .Just bcoz Im a couple of years older it dosent mean that Im a wise old lady is what I feel like telling them when they cometo me with their problems :evil: .I dont see any physical changes due to ageing in me yet but I sincerley hope when it does I have other things like children and a bigger family to worry about and not worry too about my wrinkles :).

[goodsense]

Last year on my mom's birthday, my eight year old nephew rang up early morning to sing her happy birthday. When he got to the part "...and how old are you now grandma"? my mother broke down and started crying. The message was sent home to her that she is getting really old, though not intentionally meant. As I passed this around to certain family members, they responded with a giggle. Some pople do find such reactions funny :wink: :) It's like when my cousin told me she prays for beauty now that she is getting older, I broke out in a huge laugh and she begged me not to :lol:

[Shakthiprabha.]

good sense, :lol:

True.

Some ppl get too emotional
some ppl get practical
some get detached or philosophical

:)

ss,

:)

I rememebr my friend getting really pissed off, when an uncle called her MAAMI (when she was 22 and hardly married for few months) just because shez married :shock:

She rather replied back saying dont call me maami. Later when she understood he never stopped calling her maami, one fine day she called him, "vanga ranganathan" :shock:

That uncle got a shock of his life. :rotfl:

Some time its weird how society treats u, just because U ARE MARRIED :roll:

I got married when I was 21.5 and I was called aunty, BY 19 YEAR OLD until sometime later she felt odd herself and referred me by name :evil:

Seriously I HAD A SHOCK of my life to be called aunty at the age of 21 because i wear mangalsutra on my neck!!! Worst thing is I am always used to being called by name (though being eldest in family) by all kid cousins who are as young as 7 years!

Weird infact :D

[Sandeep]

SP dont know your case but most girls act like Aunties once they get married.

[RP]

Ageing is in rage..........the old 'look' is what attracts most. :D

[Shakthiprabha.]

Sandeep,

:roll:

Dont tell me! Depends may be on what age they get maried.

not at 21!!!!!!!!!! :P

[Sandeep]

Sandeep,

:roll:

Dont tell me! Depends may be on what age they get maried.

not at 21!!!!!!!!!! :P

I had seen this in a lot of my friends. A sudden change; a superficial maturity which only shouts loud at their complete immaturity (bcoz of age not gender).

They just become so "boring" and then they complain that we "boys" (we suddenly become boys and they ladies) are ignoring them after marraige.

[Lambretta]

I got married when I was 21.5 and I was called aunty, BY 19 YEAR OLD until sometime later she felt odd herself and referred me by name :evil:
:shock: :lol:
SP, maybe she was jus being sarcastic/making fun of u by calling u an Aunty, jus bcos u were married......I've known sum individuals who hv tat kind of attitude! :evil:
As for me, I've been called as Uncle even b4 marriage already but thankfully only by small kids- they were the daughters of a counsellor who works in the school where I was working......I didn't mind this tho, as they both r small kids- 8 & 4/4.5 I think.......so putting it this way, I guess if I were a woman, at my age (24), I wud've been old enuff to be like their mother! So I felt it makes sense.......:P :D

[Shakthiprabha.]

Sandeep,

:lol: I typically understand the aunties u talk about. :D.
I understand Its too superficial and gets on to nerves actually :roll:

lambretta,

:evil: U bet. Actually she was clueless how to call me. (2 years elder and married ) In south india we dont have the habbit of calling 'didi' or 'akka' (which is increasing now).

anyway thankfully soon she settled iwth my informal name :)
Probably she understood I am actually much more childish than her :rotfl:

[Lambretta]

They just become so "boring" and then they complain that we "boys" (we suddenly become boys and they ladies) are ignoring them after marraige.
Hmm.....shudn't they complain if their husbands r ignoring them, y target u "boys"?? :P :lol:

[Sandeep]

In south india we dont have the habbit of calling 'didi' or 'akka' (which is increasing now).


In Kerala every other person is a chettan (elder brother) or chechi (elder sister) whether they are 1 year elder or 10.

We used to use "chechi" to get details of new girls. You could see their face changing and then they would answer (politely - but you could see anger in their eyes) "my name is *****" and give all details to confirm her age to be same or less than ours.



They just become so "boring" and then they complain that we "boys" (we suddenly become boys and they ladies) are ignoring them after marraige.
Hmm.....shudn't they complain if their husbands r ignoring them, y target u "boys"?? :P :lol:

Friendship and Relationships are mutually exclusive, isnt it? Anyway we are by then of to new pastures. :lol:

[Lambretta]

Actually she was clueless how to call me. (2 years elder and married ) In south india we dont have the habbit of calling 'didi' or 'akka' (which is increasing now).
Well, believe me, I've been cluless even how to call my distant cousins (my mum's cousins' children) when I meet them! They r of course much older than Iam, sum of them in their 40s (hence I'd feel it odd to call them directly by name, even if they'd said I cud!) :lol: At the most when I can converse w/ them w/out having to call them, I do adddress them as 'Neengoh'......ana epidi kupdarthu-nu nenaikirappo thaan kolampuma irukarthu! :oops:
I wish I cud've called them as anna or akka (which wud've sounded best) but feel rather shy to do so, as I've never had much interaction w/ them since childhood so don't feel tat close to them......also maybe bcos I'm used to calling even my own sister (whoz 8 yrs elder to me) by wat shez called at home as she herself hated being called as akka! :lol:


Probably she understood I am actually much more childish than her :rotfl:
How?? Did she hav chubby cheeks & u try tto pinch them??! :P :lol:
(reminded again of the "killidathe dee kozhanthey" scene! :rotfl:


Friendship and Relationships are entirely mutually exclusive, isnt it? Anyway we are by then of to new pastures. :lol:
:D

[ssanjinika]

I dont want to be called "aunty" :shock: and def not by 19 yr olds!!!!!!!
I probably wudnt mind if it was by 5-6 yr old kids but even that I rather they call me "akka" :P.
I kind of like the culture here of kids calling elders Ms something or Mrs Something rather than calling everyone aunty or what ever.

[Saya Setju]

How do you know that you are aging?

remove all mirrors
throw away your clocks

but the best thing is to donate your eyes or get blind.

[Lambretta]

I probably wudnt mind if it was by 5-6 yr old kids but even that I rather they call me "akka" :P.
Yea but in tat case u better hope they don't end up calling ur hubby "Uncle" either...tat won't be fair, wud it??! :lol:
Believe me, many yrs ago, when my dad was working in British Council, Hyd., one of his staff members, a Tamil lady, had a cute little daughter who was fond of my parents, we wud visit them once in a while.....and the kid began addressing my father as "so-and-so Thatha" but my mother as "Aunty"......!! :lol: :oops:


I kind of like the culture here of kids calling elders Ms something or Mrs Something rather than calling everyone aunty or what ever.
Hmm....well, yea it wudn't make sens if they went around calling ppl. as "UNcle" or "Aunty" there 'cos tats used only to address relatives.....:D
Tehre was one time when we were in Baltimore (where u r!) & my sis, out of habit, addressed sum lady as "Aunty"......the lady was thoroughly puzzled, saying "Wat do u mean......I'm not ur aunt!"....until my sis explained to her! :D

[Lambretta]

How do you know that you are aging?

remove all mirrors
throw away your clocks

but the best thing is to donate your eyes or get blind.
:shock: :roll: Aww....u sound like such a BAD BOY!! :twisted:
Btw, y throw away the clocks?? Or do u mean calendars?? :D

[ssanjinika]

True Lamby :lol:
My dad on some occation had to face a similar predicament.But my husband on the other hand , is always anna.Could be the way he interacts with kids(he gets down to their level and becomes one among them) :roll:

[Lambretta]

True Lamby :lol:
My dad on some occation had to face a similar predicament.But then I think he is always anna.Could be the way he interacts with kids(he gets down to their level and becomes one among them) :roll:
Well, as the saying goes, therez a child in every one of us.....? :D

[Saya Setju]

:shock: :roll: Aww....u sound like such a BAD BOY!! :twisted: Bull's eye :thumbsup: I am everybody's BAD BOY and not everybody's darling. I am not vaalaatti Surya you should know. :lol:

Btw, y throw away the clocks?? Or do u mean calendars?? :DI meant clock --> Time
Don't bother about the gray hair, the bald head, the strech marks, the dark eyes, losing teeth, crinkles, cellulitis, etc.

Aging is a gift and not a curse

[Lambretta]

So BB! :twisted:
Wat'u doing down in Malaysia?? Or is it just ur username tats going places (to dupe the mods.no doubt!)?? :P :lol:
Yea clocks= Time but then, many of us r so busy trying to do evrything in accordance w/ time evryday, we hardly realise how much time keeps passing by in our lives! :)

[goodsense]

SP,

I think my cousin is more worried about her husband not finding her attractive anymore and he may go off with a younger woman 8-) We know that most men die off before women their age group, anyway :twisted:

I remember once, in the conversation of girls talk, how worried she was about changes to the "private parts" as you get older :lol:

[Shakthiprabha.]

Aw goodsense :D

I am clueless how to answer.

Its sad, if women feel insecure reg the love of their spouses.

Sad insecurity is very painful. Man can feel insecured too . Both way its sad

[Shakthiprabha.]

The solution lies in believing one's partner and to realise LOVE IS MUCH MORE THAN PHYSICAL attraction.

Sadly not all are blessed with that thought.

[goodsense]

I hear you SP. But it seems that women are more affected emotionally by aging than men. You see signs of it where more women are into things like anti-aging products, face-lifts and body make-overs with an obsession. I watch this and I think to myself, this seems to be all they have going for them in addition to cheating nature :shock: Sad indeed :cry: I like to take care of myself too, but hope I never get to this stage cause it means missing out on more or other important things in life and I believe there is beauty in aging :P

[Shakthiprabha.]

true goodsense. I dont believe in ANTI AGING THINGS or torturing ur body (so called pampering) with facelifts and other packs.

LEt it take on u naturally. its beautiful to stay natural than put on.

Reg women getting tensed, I suppose its to do with, their early aging (30 to 40) than men (who starts at 40 plus)
After all, we mature early too. :)

I suppose it has a lot to do with factors liKE

WOMEN ARE TO PLEASE MEN
WOMEN ARE SUPP TO REMAIN BEAUTIFUL
WOMEN HAS TO KEEP HER HUS TO HERSELF BY WINNING HIM OVER WITH HER BEAUTY

AND other such dumb concepts. Gets on my nerves for sure. May be they dont concentrate cause, women are supposedly more commited or EXPECTED to be commited than men :roll:

[sv]

Hi SP, your comments about the expectation of beauty in women are just the fear of women, and men are not to be blamed. I don't think men are as particular about beauty as women. Atleast what men term as beauty is certainly different from what women think. I am a woman and i have heard how me and my friends used to comment (and worry) about facial features, complexion, long beautiful hair etc, etc... Surprisingly the men folks around me are not so particular about perfection in each and every aspect. If a woman keeps herself neat, fit, and carries herself well, then she appears beautiful to them. If every woman believes she is beautiful it will show in her manners and appearance. She will definitely look beautiful to others. I too feel every age has its own beauty. Whether to go for anti-aging products or not, if we just stop worrying about our looks, we will automatically remain young and beautiful.

[Shakthiprabha.]

sv,

I agree its more fear of women. I know many men dont care. But can u disagree, most or some of them pop their eyes out at every young thing around?

And I suppose thats what makes a woman insecure. By nature I assume, women are less prone to physical attraction definitely after marriage.

YEs I agree with you, beauty lies a lot in each one's attitude, how we carry ourselves .

[Lambretta]

true goodsense. I dont believe in ANTI AGING THINGS or torturing ur body (so called pampering) with facelifts and other packs.
LEt it take on u naturally. its beautiful to stay natural than put on.
Cheers, SP! :thumbsup:
Ne'er was a truer word spoken! :D


WOMEN HAS TO KEEP HER HUS TO HERSELF BY WINNING HIM OVER WITH HER BEAUTY AND other such dumb concepts. Gets on my nerves for sure.
Hmm......no doubt tats a universal 'dumb concept', but unftly therez also a reverse dumb concept emerging nowadays where Man has to keep his wife to himself by winning her over with his virility! :roll: :(
Gets on MY nerves for sure, this one! :evil:

[Lambretta]

But can u disagree, most or some of them pop their eyes out at every young thing around?
Nopes, but can u disagree, a certain no. of them also pop their eyes out at every older 'thing' around? :(


By nature I assume, women are less prone to physical attraction definitely after marriage.
Nopes I'm afraid not nec'ly! In many cases they may remian as prone even after marriage/children......teenage films like "American Pie", "Boys" hav proved it! I guess this wud tend to make them feel even more insecure than unmarried women/young girls!


YEs I agree with you, beauty lies a lot in each one's attitude, how we carry ourselves .
Yes I agree with u too! :D

[goodsense]

Taking pride in how you look (simple, yet sophisticated with good personality to top it up and of course the higher the level of intelligence, all the better and people do admire you when you take care of yourself. I know men do) is not the same as looking good for the opposite sex. I am sure that sensible men can differentiate and they also admire the women who carry themselves well. It goes a far far way. When such men are not around, just keep to yourself and feel good about it :wink:

[ssanjinika]

SP,to a certain extent what you say is true..women are supposed to remain beautiful and hence are worried about ageing more..but on the other hand I see women who even though are not old ,totally disregard their appearance once they get married.I just dont get it. :huh: .Defies logic.Just because they get married does it mean they have to stop taking care to look good??Anyways coming back to the ageing topic,I feel we tend to worry more about ageing coz we kind of tie confidence with looks.The better we look the more confident we feel kinda thing?I do know to a certain extent Im that way.Till I look atleast presentable I dont like to face any outsider.

[sv]

Hi SP, a mere glance at a pretty girl cannot be taken as a sign of whole hearted appreciation. Anything new will draw our attention, for both men and women. Even we turn and have a look. That doesn't mean we will fall for them.
As Lambretta said there are also some women who give more importance to physical features of men. We cannot generalize all men/women are attracted to beauty or all of them have the same perception of beauty.
American magazine quotes angelina jolie as the number 1 beauty, uma thurman in number 7 and aiswhwarya in 10 or so. Do you really agree with that? Almost all hollywood heroines gain popularity when they are in their thirties.
Beauty is subjective. People are mixed. Just consider the positive and encouraging folks around us and get along with our works.

[Shakthiprabha.]

Jesus christ! I never thought this topic has so much to be spoken on, or would run to so many pages :D

lambretta,

I dont disagree, their eyes pop out at look at every old thing too. Yeah more no of women these days, increasingly tend to waver in ethics.


SS,

u got me completely wrong. Their is WORLD OF DIFFERENCE, between being beautiful, doing the right makeup, being beautiful, remaining beautiful, TAKING CARE OF OUR LOOKS

and............

FRANTICALLY RUSHING INTO ANTI-AGEING OR SUCH SUBSTITUTES to keep up in race, so that u please ur spouse or others :roll:

The former is advisable
LAtter is ... each one's wish.

Interestingly Ive found, ppl who spend more time on this, age faster.

[goodsense]

"I see women who even though are not old ,totally disregard their appearance once they get married.I just dont get it. .Defies logic.Just because they get married does it mean they have to stop taking care to look good"

SSJ,

I see and hear this all the time in the dispersed Indian community, as if to say the whole idea is to do it for the man and not the self first. So once they get the guy, no more interest in taking care, exercising, select your wardrobe etc. I know when you are single you have more time and money to spend on yourself (and would look younger especially if you haven't given birth as yet or a guy to bother you) than when married cause of other expenses, but people just let go completely.

[Shakthiprabha.]

Beauty is subjective. People are mixed.

hi. :)

This thread madam was never about beauty alone. It was
opened actually to talk on EMOTIONAL changes which we
go thro, rather than to combat aging iwth looks.


Just consider the positive and encouraging folks around us and get along with our works.

It was just a topic of debate, nothing too shockin enough to stop our routine. Atleast it should not be. :)

[ssanjinika]

SP,
I do get what you are saying..that comment was about women who dont spend effort to look good even during their younger days.
Ageing is very emotional.Its like entering into some unknown part of life and its not only for women I guess.A lot of men combat ageing by marrying/having affairs with women almost half their age.I guess they wantto prove to themselves that they can match the younger "dudes" out there :lol:.

[ssanjinika]

SP,
I do get what you are saying..that comment was about women who dont spend effort to look good even during their younger days.
Ageing is very emotional.Its like entering into some unknown part of life and its not only for women I guess.A lot of men combat ageing by marrying/having affairs with women almost half their age.I guess they wantto prove to themselves that they can match the younger "dudes" out there :lol:.

GoodSense:
You are right on :thumbsup:.I too find that prevalent quite a bit in our society.

[sv]

SP, beauty and aging pass together. Thats how i understand. I have seen some women who talk about the effects of aging everyday, even in their twenties. It happens in every sec. from the moment we are born, some changes are known only to one's ownself. The major impact is realized by others when harmonal changes join hand with the physical changes, that is, for women after 45 years. It is a hard truth to swallow so long as i concentrate on that. Thats what i tried to tell.

[goodsense]

SSJ,

I have pointed out to someone year ago about her appearance after marriage. She said to me "You are the one who have to worry, I already have a husband".

I also agree that men go for women way younger and thats only a psychological reaction to their aging and its the same for some women.

[goodsense]

-deleted by goodsense-

[Shekhar]

Bertrand Russel once said,
"I thought life would end when I reach forty. Now I am sixty, and I feel I have not even started.."
If we grow with age, life becomes very meaningful and enjoyable. If we don't grow with age, then it becomes sadder by day.

[pavalamani pragasam]

Words of wisdom, Shekhar! :clap:

[Shakthiprabha.]

SS,

:lol:

SV,

True . :) I actually feel it has lot to do with, WHAT U ACHIEVED or did not achieve by the time u realise u body is not capable enough to put up with strains and stresses.

Mind is young and wanna do a lot, but body sometimes dont stand the energy to cope up with it. It again burns down to keeping oneself fit.

Shekar,

yup beauty is there in aging too. :D

I remember When I finished my 12th class, I FELT SOOOOO SAD ABOUT ALL KIDS, who are to go thro the trauma of exams to get out of higher sec education :rotfl:

I was so happy that i was 18 and not 10 or 11 carrying loads of books to run and catch any PTC bus :D

[Querida]

Well im still 22 but you know i at times feel older because I feel i know too much at too young a age, everything is accelerated and so i feel sometimes very uninspired and feel like i am trapped in a time that is only repeating the glories of past ages. It's like there's nothing new or wholesome to hold on to...I guess my worries are more philosophical than they are realistic.

[P_R]

Bertrand Russel once said,
"I thought life would end when I reach forty. Now I am sixty, and I feel I have not even started.."
If we grow with age, life becomes very meaningful and enjoyable. If we don't grow with age, then it becomes sadder by day.

He also said: "To write an Introduction to a selection from one's own works is no easy task. ..... I should say that it would be much easier if I were dead. Until then, it is impossible to see oneself as a whole, or to distinguish between a phase and a permanent change."
:(

[P_R]

i feel sometimes very uninspired and feel like i am trapped in a time that is only repeating the glories of past ages. I can't even see that, so you thank providence for small mercies :)

[RP]

Be it 20 or be it 50 ...........there are few thoughts and goals close to ones heart and soul.........one must never stop pusuing those goals. :)

[Shakthiprabha.]

RP,

is true. Infact as long as u feel there is a goal u would never feel tired.

What if u accomplish ur goal?

well FORM A NEW ONE :idea: :)

[Shakthiprabha.]

RP,

I can see u are a doc. Can u give us few infos on how psychological factors affecting health.

[Lambretta]

Well im still 22 but you know i at times feel older
Que, even I thot u were older, seriously! :shock:

i feel sometimes very uninspired and feel like i am trapped in a time that is only repeating the glories of past ages.
Hmm.....really? I don't feel like tat at all.....I do feel "trapped in a time" too, but don't find ne repetition of past age glories here......:huh:
Neways, perceptions cud always differ.....:)

[Querida]

Que, even I thot u were older, seriously! :shock:

really? :o Ummm what's that supposed to mean? :P

Past glories as in not that we have remade past glories but that we can only look to the past for glory...there seems to be no fresh inspiration... :(

[Lambretta]

really? :o Ummm what's that supposed to mean? :P
Hey no offence! :D Really, I didn't know u were only 22 (even younger than Iam! :)).....


Past glories as in not that we have remade past glories but that we can only look to the past for glory...there seems to be no fresh inspiration... :(
Um...tat maybe 'cos many of our time donno wat to look up for inspiration from the past.....infact many think therez no inspiration there! :(

[RP]

Shaktiprabha,
Well Psychological factors affecting health is a "hot" topic Now-a-days.........everybody is relating health with stress........
Like its said "IF U THINK U CAN...........U CAN" :thumbsup:

[RP]

Do you know why women over sixty don't have babies?
They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
You don't stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing.
Old folks are worth a fortune--with silver in their hair, gold in their teeth, stones in their kidneys, lead in their feet, and gas in their stomachs.
You know you're getting old when ...................
.........You and your teeth don't sleep together :D

[krishnan]

As an NRI who left my parents back home, when I see them every 2 years (irrespective of me seeing them over webcam)I realise how fast the ageing process is. Man my heart breaks everytime when I see them and how weak and dependent they've become over the last few years. Normally I don't show my emotions in front of them. As of now the only phenomenon that's keeping my R2I thinking burning alive apart from the booming Indian economy is this.

Add to it that time is running out too.. I have almost reached a stage now and got to make a balanced decision on when to return back considering lots of permutations and combinations. Hmm sorry about the digression and venting, but......

[gaddeswarup]

Being one of the oldest members of the forum, I have been feeling the pressure to say some thing. I am 64 and am still in touch with some people that I met in 40s,50,60s... First they were Telugus, then Tamilians, then westerners and now Australians and Telugus again.

The Tamilians I know are mostly mathematicians, some of the best produced by India after Ramanujan and Harisch-Chandra. Four of them are in their 70's and they are still working. I guess that this is a case of highly talented and motivated people. We must have discussed about aging and the only thing I remember is Raghunathan saying that when he was young, he just did mathematics but now he thinks about their relevance or whether they would bring some fame.

The Telugus from forties, fifties are mostly classmates. Some went on higher education and a few are Ph.Ds without specific interests (one did a Ph.D because his wife had a Ph.D). Most of them are retired and spending their time in prayers and waiting for children's and grandchildren's visits. I tried to get some of them to write expository science articles in Telugu and it did not work. But there is one older than me still publishing leftist and Telugu literature and active in spite of ill health. In my own case, I felt the urge to catch up on a lot of topics that I wanted to learn, took early reitremement and spend most of my time reading and googling. I visit some sites like this to get quick contrasting views and references. I regret not having a better all round education and having spent too much time in mathematics. People like Bush worry me and I feel that I should have spent more time in thinking about social issues.

The Australian neighbours are mostly in their 70s and 80s. They have nice houses with gargens. They seem to have enough routine activities, clubs and trips and seem happy and active ( A few years ago Frank in his eighties went up on our roof to repair it).

There seem to be many variations like this depending on the group. Perhaps, if I have to pick up some factors, some of them would be these.
1) Some of the things like language, songs, ( including Hindi and Tamil songs, though I do not know the languages) which I have not heard for a long time suddenly come back. In spite of my wanderings, I seem to have a better feel for coastal Andhra and perhaps Madras. May be genes as well as early influences take over.
2) Many things, one feels that one has seen them before and so does not react in the same intense way as before.
3) When parents were alive, there were stronger ties with home. Now, the ties are more abstract and one's own family seems central.
4) In many marriages, I observed that men have dominating roles in the beginning and after 10-15 years women seem to have a more cental role. Women seem more attached to the children and men seem to become more dependent on their wives.
And so on. There are some physical changes but they do not seem to matter that much. The changes are slow and one adjusts them. One problem; the children do not want to leave home. That worries me a bit. And a final thought, may be a prejudice of my own. When I was young, I thought that old people were conservative. Now young people seem more conservative. cheers.
Swarup

[Shekhar]

Be it 20 or be it 50 ...........there are few thoughts and goals close to ones heart and soul.........one must never stop pusuing those goals. :)

I don't think 'goal' oriented approach to life is rewarding or will keep you young.
Goal means "I will be happy one day when I reach my goal". You lose the present all the time. To live in present, is not pursuing a goal.
To remain happy and young, to defy age, you need to learn acceptance, to be grateful to life for what you have got, to be content and celebrate life with full heart.

[Shekhar]

I was just thinking,

Life is akin to driving a car in a city.
You have pot holes, you have traffic, you have somebody trying to overtake you all the time, you have red signals, you have accidents...
For a novice it is frightening experience to drive around. But if you grow in experience, develop driving skills, accept situations as they are, accept the traffic, the pot holes, the red signals, have some music in your car, then you enjoy your dirve.
It is the same potholes, same traffic, same signals for everybody. But still most of the people fret and fume and wish that life was different. Some people meet with accidents, minor and major. Some peoples cars get banged about and dented. But a few persons enjoy the drive. They keep their cars immaculate. They enjoy the power on the wheels. They feel they are driving the car, they are in control.
More than luck, what makes them feel like that, is their skills in handling obstructions, their attitude, their patience, and their wisdom.
Isn't it just like life?....

[pavalamani pragasam]

Very apt & beautiful analogy, Shekhar! :thumbsup:
Experience & attitude are two handy, helpful rudders to row the boat!

[Lambretta]

Yes, very nice comparison Shekhar! :D
Btw, I didn't know u were into cars too! Altho I can't be sure if its old vehicles as Iam! :lol:

[sv]

Shekar, that was fantastic! Real luck is getting the right attitude and no other wealth can give a happy life.

[gaddeswarup]

Shekhar said:


I don't think 'goal' oriented approach to life is rewarding or will keep you young.
Goal means "I will be happy one day when I reach my goal". You lose the present all the time. To live in present, is not pursuing a goal.
To remain happy and young, to defy age, you need to learn acceptance, to be grateful to life for what you have got, to be content and celebrate life with full heart.

I got away with this attitude but I am not sure whether it works all the time. This may belong to another thread but I will mention it here since the idea came up. Because of my experience, I did not want to set goals for my children or advise them on what courses to take. Unfortunately, some of them did not develop any special interests and now we are blamed for not advising them. And the age when they absorb things like sponges is gone. I guess that one has to go case by case. Most children want to please their parents. Parents can use their experience and aptitude tests and such to guide or even set goals for the children. But if they are already motivated and want to do some thing, I would say encourage them even if it looks risky. Afterall, in the fifties, nobody in our farming communities expected that one could make a living by doing mathematics.
Swarup
Swarup

[RP]

Be it 20 or be it 50 ...........there are few thoughts and goals close to ones heart and soul.........one must never stop pusuing those goals. :)

I don't think 'goal' oriented approach to life is rewarding or will keep you young.
Goal means "I will be happy one day when I reach my goal". You lose the present all the time. To live in present, is not pursuing a goal.
To remain happy and young, to defy age, you need to learn acceptance, to be grateful to life for what you have got, to be content and celebrate life with full heart.
Well It is said YOU HAVE TO HAVE A DREAM........SO THAT U CAN GET UP IN THE MORNING!!I believe follow ur goal/dreams ......but live each day as it comes!

[Raghu]

Dealing with aging is quite simple.

1) Understand the Philosophy of life, nothing is constant in the world, everything is a variable, so there is no stillness any where

2) Keep ur mind happy, this is the MOST difficult thing, but if u approach LIFE in a SPIRITUAL and PHILOSOPHICAL way, this will give u peace of mind

3) Keep ur body active and look after it, dont abuse it with toxins like alcohol, smoking , drugs, over eating, poor diet, lack of exercises etc etc, RESPECT it

[Shakthiprabha.]

hmm thx all. :)

[bingleguy]

Good Go Raghu ....

Well said

[Raghu]

Good Go Raghu ....

Well said

Y thank u sir :)

[sv]

Raghu thanks for the good post

[Raghu]

Raghu thanks for the good post

it's ok, ellam avan seyal :)

[NM]

To remain happy and young, to defy age, you need to learn acceptance, to be grateful to life for what you have got, to be content and celebrate life with full heart.
for once i agree with you and appalud you fort his and the other post :thumbsup:

[goodsense]

This aging thread is still going eh!

SP,

Just enjoy blowing the candle year after year with a smile. I am leaving you a picture (of the last candle I blew) to remember that....

[goodsense]

Well perhaps I didn't make it clear. This is one of my most up-to-date or recent picture of all others so far disclosed and as I was uploading it I thought of this aging thread - why? I was not too happy on my birthday, but was still able to smile and I thought I pass it on.

[RP]

Well perhaps I didn't make it clear. This is one of my most up-to-date or recent picture of all others so far disclosed and as I was uploading it I thought of this aging thread - why? I was not too happy on my birthday, but was still able to smile and I thought I pass it on.

BBC Quotes(Tuesday, 26 August, 2003)
Old people can still enjoy a good laugh - but only if the joke is obvious, a study suggests.
Researchers in Canada have found that a person's sense of humour remains intact when they grow old.

However, they have found that the ability to understand more complex jokes can deteriorate with age.

Writing in the Journal of the International Neuropsychological Society, the researchers suggested ageing of the brain is to blame.


Soon don't let age stop the laughs.......... :lol: :wink:

[Shakthiprabha.]

hi ooormila :)

great pic. enjoy .

guess more the candle wiser we beocme :D

[Shakthiprabha.]

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is having friends.
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . having friends.
At age 80 success is . not peeing in your pants.

howzaat to ponder? Life is too queer . :)

[Lambretta]

SP,
SimbLy WondrafuL I sayy! :D
Nvr mind wher u got this......! :P :lol:

[Shakthiprabha.]

mail... email :D

[Lambretta]

To be precise, Forwards....! :D

[Shakthiprabha.]

:D

hehe I thought I can add a tinge of decency to it :lol:

[pavalamani pragasam]

Life comes a full circle!!!

[Braandan]

does facts age?

[pavalamani pragasam]

"do facts age?" will be more correct!!!
nalla kadi!!!

[RP]

howzaat to ponder? Life is too queer . :)

This is another one to ponder about!!

19 things that took me 50 years to learn
1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. :)

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.

6. You should not confuse your career with your life.

7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy. :lol:

9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

10. Never lick a steak knife.

11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.

12. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip. :lol: :lol:

13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.

16. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.

18. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

19. Your friends love you anyway.