Ideal age to get married

[S.Balaji]

Shall we discuss about the most ideal age one shall get married.

Gone are those old days when a woman gets married immediately on completing her college..

And gone are those days when a man gets married once he completes 25 years....

Wants, perception etc etc towards life is changing...

So which is the most ideal age for marriage ????

[dev]

I don't think there can be something called an ideal age for marriage...I believe that it depends on the maturity of the person & a lot on their own lifestyle... & one has to be mentally prepared for marriage coz it is a lifestyle change... It is a combination of many factors like these... the above r the few I consider to be on the top of the list...

[pavalamani pragasam]

"Gone are those old days when a woman gets married immediately on completing her college..

And gone are those days when a man gets married once he completes 25 years...."

REALLY :?: :!: :roll:

[lordstanher]

Gone are those old days when a woman gets married immediately on completing her college..

And gone are those days when a man gets married once he completes 25 years....

Um......I thot 25 was an exceptional age for men in those days?? :? Of course my father was married at tat age (my mother being a year younger than him!) but I've heard tat most men in those days wudn't get married unless they were reasonably settled in their jobs/homes......ie, nearing/at 30.......and in sum cases if they had addnl. responsibilities like a younger sister or 2 who had to be educated/married off first, those men'd get married even much later, ie. when their 1st grey hairs wud start showing! :lol2:
Circa '70s, an old friend of my father's had 2 younger sisters to take care of & waited for them both to settle down b4 he decided to marry....by which time he was already nearing 40 & his wife was not even 20!! :shock: :evil:


Wants, perception etc etc towards life is changing...
Um....true but 4 better or 4 worse?? :D

So which is the most ideal age for marriage ????
Well.....I guess it all depends on ur own individual situation......
For men I can say, if ur already settled down in a reasonably good (altho not nec. high-paying) job & able to stand on ur own feet (in which case I guess 24 or 25 cud be taken as the target age) & yes- most imp. of all for guys (in sum cases gals as well!)- if u really hav ne intention of having a life-partner & family & prepared to mould urself into tat role :wink:......then its ok to go ahead at tat age.....! :D
In my personal opinion, it doesn't make sense in today's scenario for parents to keep coaxing their children to get married as soon as they 'come of age', as I might agree w/ Balaji- wants/perceptions/attitudes towards life r changing.......most parents today cannot expect their children to be as they themselves were 2-3 decades ago, mentally prepared to abide by tradition & transform themselves into wat might be entirely different personalities after marriage vs b4 marriage......esp. if its the case of arranged marriages, where the girl/boy r most likely not each other's but their parents' choices.......
And i notice tat majority of the post '80s youth (inc. girls) r simply not ready to metamorphise into the more sober roles of spouses (& subsequently parents) solely on their parents' wishes......this has unftly, in sum cases, resulted in broken or disloyal marriages.....!
I don't intend to offend neone here nor am I one of those who revolt against our culture/traditions, but I just want to say tat its incorrect to apply the same technique in general for a generation tat seems poles apart from its predecessors from not too long ago! :D

[S.Balaji]

[quote="lordstanher
And i notice tat majority of the post '80s youth (inc. girls) r simply not ready to metamorphise into the more sober roles of spouses (& subsequently parents) solely on their parents' wishes......this has unftly, in sum cases, resulted in broken or disloyal marriages.....!

Lordie.... What you mentioned is true to some extent.... I have also come across such instances personally ... on broken relationships...


I don't intend to offend neone here nor am I one of those who revolt against our culture/traditions, but I just want to say tat its incorrect to apply the same technique in general for a generation tat seems poles apart from its predecessors from not too long ago!

Equally true....

[S.Balaji]

Lets analyse from a woman's perspective ... of today......

9 out 10 women are very well educated.. and some get professionally qualified as well ( I am in no way trying to degrade or bring disrepute to women of previous generation ).. They also get nice jobs... ( probably in software oranisations ?? )...and are self sustaining..
I have seen the parents of previous generation very keen to get their daughter married once she completes her college or maximum by 22 or 23 years.... as the pressure is being felt by the parents...
Also a family with more than 1 or 2 daughters... there was additional pressure for the first daughter to get married ....

But... I am not seeing those situations today.... I mean .. the middle class....Parents give full freedom to their daughters and invest equally for their higher education...make them well qualified ... and also ultimately make their self sustaining....

This gives an opportunity also to the daughters to get a decent saving to prepare for their wedding or for other higher education...

In the process... I am also seeing the average of women getting engaged has moved upwards... from 20-22 years to 26-28 years.....

Those 4 years between 22 and 26 enable the women to save some decent money for their wedding... Its a welcome change....

[Badri]

While social and individual preferences are all fine, one must also consider biological imperatives in this whole issue.

Men and women are in their prime only between 15-30. That is the best reproductive period. Children born to parents in this age group have been found to be healthy, with comparitively less genetic defects.

In men, after the age of 35, sperms start to mutate. Similarly, in women, after around 40, the eggs start losing viability. In fact, genetic disorders such as Down's Syndrome are especially common among children born to mothers in their middle age. Also, the travails of pregnancy and child birth are better borne when the women are stronger and endued with more vitality than after they are older. A lot of changes begin to take place which might even cause for painful deliveries due to hardening of pelvic muscles.


In keeping with this fundamental thought, it is infinitly better for people to get married and have children before the age of 35. I would say 28 for men, and 25 for women, and as far as possible, not later than that for marriage. That would give them space and time to adjust to each other, make plans etc and have their first child at least when the man is 31-32 and women is 27-28.

True, socio-economic factors do play a major role, but ultimately, one must not forget the biological reason behind the whole thing - the propogation of the species, the giving birth to and rearing of biologically healthy and viable individuals.

[Raghu]

I don't think there can be something called an ideal age for marriage...I believe that it depends on the maturity of the person & a lot on their own lifestyle... & one has to be mentally prepared for marriage coz it is a lifestyle change... It is a combination of many factors like these... the above r the few I consider to be on the top of the list...

well said, fully agreed :thumbsup:

[S.Balaji]

True, socio-economic factors do play a major role, but ultimately, one must not forget the biological reason behind the whole thing - the propogation of the species, the giving birth to and rearing of biologically healthy and viable individuals.

Absolutely true.... Probably this could be the reason for our ancestors for having set such a precedent ?? Of early marriage ??

I have also heard the worst scenario... My Periamma got married at the age of 14 :oops: and by 20 years she was already a mother of 4 children !

[pavalamani pragasam]

And none the worse for it! My perimmas who married even earlier lived in good health for upto ripe old age!

[Badri]

And none the worse for it! My perimmas who married even earlier lived in good health for upto ripe old age!

I am afraid there seems to be a lot of truth in that! Grandmoms who got married before puberty and had their first child before even 16 lived nice and strong!!!

I think the strength to bear and deliver a child gradually diminishes with age. Perhaps the women in the Hub might be able to attest to that fact. For me, I know as we age, the ability to bear pain reduces along with the physical strength of the body, and I don't see any reason why the same should not hold true with women as well. Therefore, I assume, for a women to have children in middle-age would be very very tiring and draining!

[Querida]

well Balaji though there are more girls who are waiting to get married there is still the stigma of being unmarried and older than 25...that seems to be the cut-off age from what i know...this being a concern not just for the parents but also the girl....and furthermore what is more disturbing is girls who though not marrying are dating or feel that it is imperative to have a boyfriend long before they are even sixteen... :?

I agree with Badri about the biology bit and know of enough grandmoms being stronger and healthier and having grandchildren when they are just reaching 50...

[S.Balaji]

....and furthermore what is more disturbing is girls who though not marrying are dating or feel that it is imperative to have a boyfriend long before they are even sixteen... :?

This is a concerning news....not a healthy trend... which means we are moving in western direction....Worried now on what will be the future for such a trend ?
Its much more important now for the parents to groom their children well especially for those in the age group of 14 to 17.. where all bad things and temptations can get into one.....

[nilavupriyan]

male-25
female-23

[S.Balaji]

male-25
female-23

Nilavu,

By 25 oru naal job kidaikiradhaaaa ... Are men able to settle down by 25 years with a good job...

For female- They do professional courses now and they come out of the professional courses by 22 years only.. They also need to save something for their marriage and other expenses...

I feel 25 for women may be ideal...or 26 probably..

[nilavupriyan]

male-25
female-23

Nilavu,

By 25 oru naal job kidaikiradhaaaa ... Are men able to settle down by 25 years with a good job...

For female- They do professional courses now and they come out of the professional courses by 22 years only.. They also need to save something for their marriage and other expenses...

I feel 25 for women may be ideal...or 26 probably..

but balaji...,waiting upto 26 for a girl is risk in our soceity....

may be guys upto 29

[nirosha sen]

My opinion is : It's the Biological Clock, that actually dictates as to how long a span of fertility one is blessed with!

Perhaps, for men, who could still father children, well into their winter years; women on the other hand are not so lucky!! Our best years are still very much dictated by the hormones which would one day cease production of ova.

It's for this reason alone, that it's best not to wait and try to tie the knot when women are still in their 20s. Contrary, to what many of us think, time is indeed relevant to decide on a whole gamut of needs and requirements that women are expected to fulfill. After all what actually underpins the notion of marriage if not procreation????? :wink:

I'm of course much amused, while writing this as I recall the movie, "Mannal Kayar" where the comic actor who's the prospective bridegroom, has 8 different conditions for his future wife to fulfill, before he would deign to marry her!!

While the audience indulged in comic relief, it also sank in, the absurdity of the situation, which drove home the reality of it!! :(

[dr#]

i think 28 is perfect..........anyone interested?!! :wink:

[Badri]

Digression

Been absent a long while, Dr#? Welcome back!

End Digression

[dr#]

thank you. i'm glad to be back.

busy at work during the spring, and then too busy watching the cricket this summer.

anyway i must say that all the people on this thread are getting or thinking of getting married awfully early. i mean 22-23....come on you want to enjoy a few years of post university independent adult working life to find out about yourself before you know who to spend the rest of your life with.

marriage should be seen as a lifetime contract like a mortgage.......and you should always be sure to know what you're buying and to be sure of reading the small print!!!

[Raghu]

marriage should be seen as a lifetime contract like a mortgage.......and you should always be sure to know what you're buying and to be sure of reading the small print!!! :lol: :lol: , good one, this is where many guys fail,

But Dr ji Mortgage is only for 25 yrs in London, but a women is a life long mortgage :lol: :lol:

[nirosha sen]

Yeah, yeah!! laugh away, while it's women who have to huff and puff away with both birthing and ahem, the household chores???? :D

[Raghu]

Yeah, yeah!! laugh away, while it's women who have to huff and puff away with both birthing and ahem, the household chores???? :D

Enna Niro Aunty ji , Raghu thambiyoda Kopama Unmaiyai sonathuku :lol: :lol:

there is a saying in thamizh

'Aavathum penNale azhivathum PenNale' i think most guys will agree with me on these :lol: :lol:

[S.Balaji]

Yeah, yeah!! laugh away, while it's women who have to huff and puff away with both birthing and ahem, the household chores???? :D

Enna Niro Aunty ji , Raghu thambiyoda Kopama Unmaiyai sonathuku :lol: :lol:

there is a saying in thamizh

'Aavathum penNale azhivathum PenNale' i think most guys will agree with me on these :lol: :lol:

Raghu and Nirosha,

Looks like you both are arivujeevees exchanging posts which engalay ponra saadharana mortals could not understand..
Pl come down from your levels and exchange posts which are understandable to guys like me.. :o

[Querida]

come on you want to enjoy a few years of post university independent adult working life to find out about yourself before you know who to spend the rest of your life with.

very true...could not agree with you more...though im still in uni i could not see myself married the moment i graduate... :shock: though from what i know there are many girls who are already in relationships if not married...i say nuts to both, I'm still a kid! :D

[dev]

'Aavathum penNale azhivathum PenNale' i think most guys will agree with me on these :lol: :lol:

These are sayings by men who are not bold enough to accept the outcome of their own acts... :twisted: & it's surprising to see Raghu being one among those... :o

[rajeshkrv]

right age for both men and women is when they know to understand life with it's ups and downs

before that they would have taken life easier - as a student by spending father's money..

so Once they start working, start thinking about the hardship of life and they mature slowly in their activities like savings etc
then they can choos their partners

[nirosha sen]

Balaji Saar - I thought my posting ealier was clear enough, Pa! The correct age is merely a lot of hot air, when people are too polite to commit to a purely hypothetical question. As long as nobody is committing to the notion of marriage themselves, we are very erudite and verbose in giving our opinions. But the minute, it's one's own life on the line, it takes a whole different meaning.

As I pointed out earlier, men and women have different physiological make-up. Men could go on fathering children at any time of their life, while women are not so lucky!! The whole idea of marriage for most of us is to have children later, isn't it???? That alone is the primary fear in why we women need to be married in our twenties. One needn't have children, the first year of tying the knot, right????? At least, the 2nd or 3rd year, perhaps????? While, we take our own sweet time, fertility on the other hand cannot go on being put on hold for long.

I do believe, that Indians have a good system of match-making to arrange marriages by elders who take the trouble. Otherwise, one is doomed to be left on the shelf, if there are no takers!!

Sorry, if my opinions hurt, but this is from personal observation of both friends and relatives! :o

[Raghu]

'Aavathum penNale azhivathum PenNale' i think most guys will agree with me on these :lol: :lol:

These are sayings by men who are not bold enough to accept the outcome of their own acts... :twisted: & it's surprising to see Raghu being one among those... :o

Devuda, deivame, I was joking pa joking :cry: :cry:

[Shekhar]

Shall I reframe the question!!

"What is the right age for Men and Women to marry for the first time?" :wink: :D :D

[S.Balaji]

Shall I reframe the question!!

"What is the right age for Men and Women to marry for the first time?" :wink: :D :D

This thread was created with a sincere intention to guide youngsters. I wish some positive and constructive thoughts are shared here.

Best regards

[a.ratchasi]

Balaji, that's our good old Shekhar for you.
He's one hubber with a great sense of humour.
Better get used to this!! :) :wink:

By the way, we have far more pressing issues on hand to tackle like the evil influence of western clothings.

[sivajayan]

Shall I reframe the question!!

"What is the right age for Men and Women to marry for the first time?" :wink: :D :D

This thread was created with a sincere intention to guide youngsters. I wish some positive and constructive thoughts are shared here.

Best regards

Though your intention to guide youngsters is good it is always better to have one or two or a couple more who owns humor.
And by the way this is not an instruction manual.

My question is why should one marry another? What is the purpose of a marriage? Can't it go without a marriage?

[ssanjinika]

My question is why should one marry another? What is the purpose of a marriage? Can't it go without a marriage?

Its obvious that you are young..
I am sure people who thought y get married regretted it late in life. I feel one of the main reasons a person gets married is for companianship.It might not be necessary when one is young and can go out and meet friends but is definitely required when one does not have the energy or the inclination to spend too much time outside the house.You might argue that theres always siblings and real close friends but believe me no one comes close to that one person to call your own.

[stranger]

* My question is why should one marry another?

* What is the purpose of a marriage?

* Can't it go without a marriage?

Well, sure you can! I dont see why not?

And since you brought up such a sensible question, I think YOU SHOULD NOT get married, sivajayan and you should show the world that marriage is not important at all!

I heard that "living together" has been made legal in India! That is a green signal for you, sivajayan! Please be a "role model" to everyone and keep updating the developments of your achievement in the forum once in a month or two or six!

You are on your own now! 8)

Go for it! :thumbsup:

BTW, if you could not find any "spouse" for living together, dont worry, just be a single for ever which can make you a TRUE PATRIOT as u r helping India to control the growing population! After all u know that the whole purpose of marriage is ridiculous!

[a.ratchasi]

Of course, one can choose not to get married. However, the chosen path would be a lonely one.

As ssanjinika aptly said, one of the main reasons parents are eager to marry off their children is to get them a companion. At the end of the day, each and everyone of us want is that special someone who is legally, emotionally and physically belong to us and to us only. That is exactly what marriage is all about. Love helps a great deal in making that come true.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have heard many reasons why a person would want to get married :wink: but to say that one does for the need of offsprings. :rotfl:

The next course of action for any married couple is to produce offsprings. It is at this point where issues like fertility, biological clock, the need to continue one's lineage etc et comes to mind. Not when discussing about the ideal age to get married.

Though it woud be good to know the points mentioned, however, these alone would not dictate the right time to get married.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Briefly there are two categories of Indian parents:
1)The marriage talk starts right after the daughter/son graduates or secures a job. Parents who feel that their child is ready for marriage fall into this category.

2)The other set of parents are those who let their children decide. This is not necessarily applicable to love marriages alone. Here, the indivuadual decides for him/herself.

In a way, parental influence too becomes one of the main factors.

[Shekhar]

just be a single for ever which can make you a TRUE PATRIOT as u r helping India to control the growing population!

No No, stranger, I can't agree with you here. It is these "single" ones who contribute more to the growth of population!!! Think of it... married can produce only one child per year and stop at mostly two. :lol: :lol:

[Roshan]

:rotfl: :poke:

[pavalamani pragasam]

Shekar's comment is explicit about one great boon of "marriage" :D

[sivajayan]

My question is why should one marry another? What is the purpose of a marriage? Can't it go without a marriage?

Its obvious that you are young..
Is it really obvious? How obvious? I know quite a lot of people who are old and behave like kids and a lot of kids behave like old. Perhaps I am too old and becomming senile. Could this be the reason for your obvious assumption? :lol:




I am sure people who thought y get married regretted it late in life.
I am also sure that people who married regretted it later.
By the way why did Buddha ran away and sat under the Bothi tree? Was he happy that he was married?



I feel one of the main reasons a person gets married is for companianship.It might not be necessary when one is young and can go out and meet friends but is definitely required when one does not have the energy or the inclination to spend too much time outside the house.You might argue that theres always siblings and real close friends
What should I do if my partner dies? Should I go for another marriage?



but believe me no one comes close to that one person to call your own.
But believe me, you never own anyone! Your wife/husband, fiancee/fiance or simply your partner is something your special. No, she/he is not your pet! They have their own views and thoughts and they ought ot be your other half (the better one) that takes your breath away, you get addicted to. Only that matters!


Well, sure you can! I dont see why not?
You got the point as always. :thumbsup: I have been doing for the last 10 years with the one and the same, in couple of years when I am over her I for sure go for 10 every year as my handcuffs are removed now :lol: I don't think it is wrong too. It is my nature to help them and of course helping me beside.

No, no! India does not need me, my views and my visions :lol: and I got stuck somewhere else.

Shekar are you sure that married only "produce" one a year? Perhaps the women "produce" one every 10 months normally. Is it Mahabharatham telling of hundred children at once? (just a joke!)

Special Release:
Ultimate Kind Warrior :wink: please don't unwrap me through private messages. They are dangerous. But you can email others about me and tell them the truth about me and convey my regards. It is a tough existence being prominent. :lol:

[S.Balaji]

am also sure that people who married regretted it later.
By the way why did Buddha ran away and sat under the Bothi tree? Was he happy that he was married?

Buddha took renounciation not because of having got fed up with Married life....

It was after going through certain shocking incidents in like :

1. Death
2. Class conflicts
3. Distinction between rich and poor

There are so many other points.... and not he got fed up with married life......

[sivajayan]

am also sure that people who married regretted it later.
By the way why did Buddha ran away and sat under the Bothi tree? Was he happy that he was married?

Buddha took renounciation not because of having got fed up with Married life....

It was after going through certain shocking incidents in like :

1. Death
2. Class conflicts
3. Distinction between rich and poor

There are so many other points.... and not he got fed up with married life......
Anyway he left his wife alone! That is a fact and he did not do good to her by that.
Looking at your points 2 and 3 it seems like Buddha invented communism too! A marvelous chap he must have been.

[visu]

It is easy for me to think and write this way because I am an european. My father is a Dutch-German-mixed and my mom is a thrown out brahmin. They kill each other and kiss each other. Hate each other and hug each other. Still continuing to do so.


Sivajayan you yourself said you are not indian. Why you care about indian values?.
Indians are not opinionated like western people. So the whole western policy of "why can't i do that? why can't i do this?" never applies to them. I have seen most western people never emotionally secure and are always on the lookout even if they are married.
Marriage and a spouse is all together a different feeling for indians.


[/quote]

[Shakthiprabha.]

My post may seem queer.

I STILL HOLD THE VIEW the right age for a woman is

20 to 22

and for a man is...

25 to 27.

A man sure can AFFORD settling down decent enough to start a family. IF no, he can still strive with the support of his wife. Vice versa can happen too.

Settling down in life in the desired position is a never ending ladder to be climbed.

A job good enough to support a family is fair enough to start a family. The rest can be had slowly and steadily.

As for a woman..... my personal view is that, if she crosses 22 she has her own UNPERISHABLE view on many aspects and finds it tough to adjust with new situations. Esp since in an indian scenario, still there is an expectation that the woman should adjust with her in-laws THE Flexibility becomes NIL after a particular age.

The other reasons for this age is

1. The couple looks cute and not like old hefty UNCLES AND AUNTIES GETTING MARRIED.

2. There is lot of sweet nothings and romance to be expected at early 20s or mid twenties than at late twenties or early thirties, when both men and women become too practical to enjoy small things in life. Both of them are still not mature enough to be too mechanical/practical/down-to-earth at early or mid twenties.

3. At late twenties or early thirties couples are forced immy to try for a baby. With early marriage they have AMPLE time to plan, enjoy and understand each others company, Fall in love truly and THEN have a child.

()()

my 50 paise! EH... my 2 cents!?!?

[Shakthiprabha.]

Anyway he left his wife alone! That is a fact and he did not do good to her by that.
Looking at your points 2 and 3 it seems like Buddha invented communism too! A marvelous chap he must have been.

sivajayan looks like u are ROCKING THE SHOW in this thread.

Budda did not do good to his wife. He did good to many others in multitude. There is a 'raja-nyathi' which says if its good for the whole nation there is nothing wrong in sacrificing the happiness of one in the family.

or

He was just not hypocrite to lead a married life WHEN HE WAS not interested in one. Unlike many these days he had the GUTS to say NO.

or

May be he offered her to come with him, to the world where there is no material wealth, to wander around in the quest of knowledge and SHE REFUSED! who knows!!!

Nobody eavesdropped on what they spoke before he suddenly dissappeared out into the woods!

[malligai]

* My question is why should one marry another?

* What is the purpose of a marriage?

* Can't it go without a marriage?

Well, sure you can! I dont see why not?

And since you brought up such a sensible question, I think YOU SHOULD NOT get married, sivajayan and you should show the world that marriage is not important at all!

I heard that "living together" has been made legal in India! That is a green signal for you, sivajayan! Please be a "role model" to everyone and keep updating the developments of your achievement in the forum once in a month or two or six!

You are on your own now! 8)

Go for it! :thumbsup:

BTW, if you could not find any "spouse" for living together, dont worry, just be a single for ever which can make you a TRUE PATRIOT as u r helping India to control the growing population! After all u know that the whole purpose of marriage is ridiculous!

Anniyan,

is this an advice or a sarcastic remark??.. :lol: :lol:

[malligai]

just be a single for ever which can make you a TRUE PATRIOT as u r helping India to control the growing population!

No No, stranger, I can't agree with you here. It is these "single" ones who contribute more to the growth of population!!! Think of it... married can produce only one child per year and stop at mostly two. :lol: :lol:

hahaha...thats a good one Shekar!!....rightly said...

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

[sivajayan]

It is easy for me to think and write this way because I am an european. My father is a Dutch-German-mixed and my mom is a thrown out brahmin. They kill each other and kiss each other. Hate each other and hug each other. Still continuing to do so.


Sivajayan you yourself said you are not indian. Why you care about indian values?.
Indians are not opinionated like western people. So the whole western policy of "why can't i do that? why can't i do this?" never applies to them. I have seen most western people never emotionally secure and are always on the lookout even if they are married.
Marriage and a spouse is all together a different feeling for indians.



Nobody cares two hoots about YOUR indian values which probably are:
- Husband the master, wife the slave
- Huband eats first and wife serves
- Husband goes ahead, wife goes behind
...

I said something about my stay in India this year in the Shame thread but unfortunately the moderators deleted my statements as it was against so called indian values.
When I was in India this Year I had some experiences also with married women. It is you who imagine that each and every european easily loses his/her slip as soon as you wag your hips. Very big BS you are producing!
So please don't tell me that they are that and we are this. There had been a controverse discussion going on here on this hub about Kushboo some weeks ago.

From my point of view people are the same where ever you go!

[sivajayan]

Anniyan,

is this an advice or a sarcastic remark??.. :lol: :lol:

I ain't that strange as it looks like. It is a well wishing :lol:

Malligai, I have heard recently that condom industry will make a big profit. Buy shares :lol:

[malligai]

My post may seem queer.

I STILL HOLD THE VIEW the right age for a woman is

20 to 22

and for a man is...

25 to 27.

............

As for a woman..... my personal view is that, if she crosses 22 she has her own UNPERISHABLE view on many aspects and finds it tough to adjust with new situations. Esp since in an indian scenario, still there is an expectation that the woman should adjust with her in-laws THE Flexibility becomes NIL after a particular age.

!?

Shakthi,

i disagree on this one...

The right age for a woman is NOT 20-22...see at that age we are just out of college...and all we know is all the fun one has with our friends, and the 'sheltered' life with our parents...at that age there is no 'worldly' knowledge at all...

living with ur family and friends and then having to give up all that :( and living with ur husband and in-laws....thats like living in two CONTRASTING WORLDS....thats sad for a girl pa....

it is like wrapping her like a christmas present and dumping her in some else's house... :razz:

but if the age is around 26-28 [it is afterall a few more years :)] , she is given a chance to get a better perspective of life and people...atleast she is given the chance to 'think' of what she wants to do in life, career etc...not all of us are 'made for marriages' u know....one might want to choose a different path...i just cant understand why everyone thinks that for every man and woman marriage is the ultimate goal... :roll:

and above all why should men be given the advantage of 'being free' longer?? :lol:

Anyways, once married, she is going to spend the rest of her life with her husband...so whats the hurry??.. :lol:

[dev]

not all of us are 'made for marriages' u know....one might want to choose a different path...i just cant understand why everyone thinks that for every man and woman marriage is the ultimate goal... :roll:


I stand by you, malligai... It was an exact reflection of my views... :clap:

[Shakthiprabha.]

My post may seem queer.

I STILL HOLD THE VIEW the right age for a woman is

20 to 22

and for a man is...

25 to 27.

............

As for a woman..... my personal view is that, if she crosses 22 she has her own UNPERISHABLE view on many aspects and finds it tough to adjust with new situations. Esp since in an indian scenario, still there is an expectation that the woman should adjust with her in-laws THE Flexibility becomes NIL after a particular age.

!?

The right age for a woman is NOT 20-22...see at that age we are just out of college...and all we know is all the fun one has with our friends, and the 'sheltered' life with our parents...at that age there is no 'worldly' knowledge at all...

living with ur family and friends and then having to give up all that :( and living with ur husband and in-laws....thats like living in two CONTRASTING WORLDS....thats sad for a girl pa....

it is like wrapping her like a christmas present and dumping her in some else's house... :razz:

but if the age is around 26-28 [it is afterall a few more years :)] , she is given a chance to get a better perspective of life and people...atleast she is given the chance to 'think' of what she wants to do in life, career etc...not all of us are 'made for marriages' u know....one might want to choose a different path...i just cant understand why everyone thinks that for every man and woman marriage is the ultimate goal... :roll:

and above all why should men be given the advantage of 'being free' longer?? :lol:



Well the topic was about IDEAL AGE to get marriage (now that someone has decided to get maried).

Given a chance, many of us KNOW we want a different path or we are made to achieve different goals. Thats why I say, DONT GIVE THEM CHANCE! :)) . Before they
realise what they are into, JUST PUSH THEM IN :twisted:

"Yaan petra inbam peruga ivvaiyagam" goes the saying :D

Seriously speaking, I find, THE disagreements are more
when we mature to become practical or grow wiser :? ??

With hardened ego and stubborn views, the couples these days lose their aims/goals by getting tangled in a wrong marriage and live hell life.

At a relatively tender age, The ego of both man and the woman is barely surfaced. Both would learn to live and let live with much ease.

[Shakthiprabha.]

It is easy for me to think and write this way because I am an european. My father is a Dutch-German-mixed and my mom is a thrown out brahmin. They kill each other and kiss each other. Hate each other and hug each other. Still continuing to do so.


Sivajayan you yourself said you are not indian. Why you care about indian values?.
Indians are not opinionated like western people. So the whole western policy of "why can't i do that? why can't i do this?" never applies to them. I have seen most western people never emotionally secure and are always on the lookout even if they are married.
Marriage and a spouse is all together a different feeling for indians.



Nobody cares two hoots about YOUR indian values which probably are:
- Husband the master, wife the slave
- Huband eats first and wife serves
- Husband goes ahead, wife goes behind
...




HELLOW....get a BREAK!
Which century indians are u talking about?
I assume ur stay in **OUR** india, did not teach u
much about the recent Indians

We are as senile and sensible as westerners if not more.
Please dont presume about INDIANS in ur own
ancient ways.

[malligai]

[


"Yaan petra inbam peruga ivvaiyagam" goes the saying :D



Shakthi, on this one...i definetely agree... :lol:

[Raghu]

aaha

ella acca maarum ondru senthutangappa ondru senthutanga :lol: :lol:

laklaklaklaklak

vatta :lol:

[malligai]

Nobody cares two hoots about YOUR indian values which probably are:
- Husband the master, wife the slave
- Huband eats first and wife serves
- Husband goes ahead, wife goes behind
...

I said something about my stay in India this year in the Shame thread but unfortunately the moderators deleted my statements as it was against so called indian values.
When I was in India this Year I had some experiences also with married women. It is you who imagine that each and every european easily loses his/her slip as soon as you wag your hips. Very big BS you are producing!
So please don't tell me that they are that and we are this. There had been a controverse discussion going on here on this hub about Kushboo some weeks ago.

From my point of view people are the same where ever you go!

//Nobody cares two hoots about YOUR indian values //--then that NOBODY must be U... :evil:

bcos WE DO CARE FOR OUR INDIAN VALUES...and there is NOTHING wrong in a wife serving her husband ok...before it was done bcos the husband worked the whole day outside, and the wife cooked for him at home...so she waited to serve him, NOT bcos she was forced to, bcos she wanted too..

even now in our family, on festive days we follow this...we serve food on plaintain leaves, sit on the floor, and let the men eat first...this is not bcos we dont have dining tables or plates...that is our custom, and we like to keep it 'live and kicking'...

if u have any problems with it, then think twice of what u r supposed to do... :lol:

[Raghu]

bcos WE DO CARE FOR OUR INDIAN VALUES...and there is NOTHING wrong in a wife serving her husband ok...before it was done bcos the husband worked the whole day outside, and the wife cooked for him at home...so she waited to serve him, NOT bcos she was forced to, bcos she wanted too..

even now in our family, on festive days we follow this...we serve food on plaintain leaves, sit on the floor, and let the men eat first...this is not bcos we dont have dining tables or plates...that is our custom, and we like to keep it 'live and kicking'...

bale well said, apadi solunga malligai, :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :clap: :clap:

Thai naataiyum, Kalacharathiyum marakiravanga sontha thaiya marakira mathiri :x :evil: :twisted: , ivankaluku maanipei :!: kidaiyathu

[sivajayan]

//Nobody cares two hoots about YOUR indian values //--then that NOBODY must be U... :evil:

Oh, I still have a body. I'm not a ghost, not yet. :lol:


bcos WE DO CARE FOR OUR INDIAN VALUES...and there is NOTHING wrong in a wife serving her husband ok...before it was done bcos the husband worked the whole day outside, and the wife cooked for him at home...so she waited to serve him, NOT bcos she was forced to, bcos she wanted too..
Will I get a cup of coffee served at my bed early in the morning?
Will I be fed too?
Will I be put to bed with a goodnight story every night also?
If yes, then I must go for an indian bride. If I only have to bring money home it is simple for me. I have an account (not empty), a valid card and I only need a machine to draw the money.
cash machines - will it go in India? :lol:


even now in our family, on festive days we follow this...we serve food on plaintain leaves, sit on the floor, and let the men eat first...this is not bcos we dont have dining tables or plates...that is our custom, and we like to keep it 'live and kicking'...

You are not kidding me?
I really thought that the plantain leaves are your fresh salad.
I also asked for a fork and a knife and learnt that it does not go on banana leaves.
Poor me, I'm sooo stupid. :lol:


if u have any problems with it, then think twice of what u r supposed to do... :lol: If my thinking twice produce the same result what should I do? Can I have your number, please? :lol:

[Sanguine Sridhar]

Well you guyz are talking about whether we need marriage or not....for this i wanna tell u only one thing....If everybody started to "Live together" without marriage..then what is the difference between Human being and a dog..Even dog does the same thing....Afterall marriage leads to a discipline life...

[sivajayan]

Well you guyz are talking about whether we need marriage or not....for this i wanna tell u only one thing....If everybody started to "Live together" without marriage..then what is the difference between Human being and a dog..Even dog does the same thing....Afterall marriage leads to a discipline life...

Even married couples bark at each other! Do dogs bark, Beckham? Are the married couples dogs?
There are some birds like swans or stork and a couple more have only one partner their whole life time. If they had a priest then they'll marry I guess! :lol:

[Sanguine Sridhar]

Well you guyz are talking about whether we need marriage or not....for this i wanna tell u only one thing....If everybody started to "Live together" without marriage..then what is the difference between Human being and a dog..Even dog does the same thing....Afterall marriage leads to a discipline life...

Even married couples bark at each other! Do dogs bark, Beckham? Are the married couples dogs?
There are some birds like swans or stork and a couple more have only one partner their whole life time. If they had a priest then they'll marry I guess! :lol:

Just think practically...If u say i don need marriage and i'l live with a single partner well and good.. Vijayan is a gem of the person so as your partner...But it wont fit to everybody.... Boss how many illegal relationships are going on now-a days...Are you reading the news paper regularly? How many murders? If this kind of law is going to be practised regularly thats it....

[sivajayan]

Beckham, You may lose your sight by reading this!

Have you ever heard of homo relationships? In some countries it is legal! What do you have to say about that with your conservative way of thinking? Now you are worried about "illegal" relationships and combining them to murderers and criminals. Well, if you are honest you must admit that though there were merely unmarried couples living together in India or anywhere else, the murders and crime were already existing. As an example I could throw in the dowry murders as a curse of a marrige. But I do not do so because you and me simply are different.
I would say it is 5 to 12 to reboot your system if you don't mind!

[stranger]

Well you guyz are talking about whether we need marriage or not....for this i wanna tell u only one thing....If everybody started to "Live together" without marriage..then what is the difference between Human being and a dog..Even dog does the same thing....Afterall marriage leads to a discipline life...

well, Beck, I dont think dogs ever live together or getting married. Neither arranged nor "love". So their life is simple until human adopts them and "neutralizes" them. It is humans who complicate dogs' life too :)

[Raghu]

By 25 oru naal job kidaikiradhaaaa ... Are men able to settle down by 25 years with a good job.....

Balaji anNe,

Well, if a guy/girl is lucky enough to have good education, good parents and good luck with you, then the answer is a big yes!, cos here in UK, kids finish their G.C.S.E(O/L) at 16, then A/L at 18, then Graduate (BSc/BA) at 21, then possibily MSc/MA at 23, then you have about 2 years to get a decent Job, then finaly buy a house

I was very luck in the above scenario, but sadly not every one is lucky :cry:

any way, NOTHING is in our hands ellam ISHWAR seyal! :D

[Shakthiprabha.]

Well you guyz are talking about whether we need marriage or not....for this i wanna tell u only one thing....If everybody started to "Live together" without marriage..then what is the difference between Human being and a dog..Even dog does the same thing....Afterall marriage leads to a discipline life...


Marriage does not NECESSARILY lead to disciplined life. Its all in the mind. Marriage is just a social acknowledgement. 'Live together' or dont... its each one's personal perception of the kind of life they want.

Some married ppl lead a kind of life that dogs live.
Some others living together lead a disciplined life too.

Marriage is NOT DISCIPLINE/PERSONAL REQUIREMENT.
Marriage is SOCIAL ACCEPTANCE/SOCIAL REQUIREMENT.

Ive shared enough of such view in kavithaigaL section long back. So I stop here.

[Raghu]

Shakthi madam

Pls change ur avatar, athu Sonu Gopi aunty-oda avatar, hehe

[Shakthiprabha.]

yaaru athu? Sonu gopi aunty :((

Avtar kooda pidichathu vechukka mudila/..... :((

[Sandeep]

Vinaashakale Vibhareetha Bhuthi .

That is the perfect time for Marraige (or commitment)

[Sandeep]

yaaru athu? Sonu gopi aunty :((

Avtar kooda pidichathu vechukka mudila/..... :((

You should go my way, create an avatar for yourself.

[Uthappam]

yaaru athu? Sonu gopi aunty :((

Avtar kooda pidichathu vechukka mudila/..... :((

You should go my way, create an avatar for yourself.

ya, ev en it it looks terrible like mine or as silly as his :lol:

[arr]

hey guyz...there should a poll for this..

[Shakthiprabha.]

yaaru athu? Sonu gopi aunty :((

Avtar kooda pidichathu vechukka mudila/..... :((

You should go my way, create an avatar for yourself.

hey... nice thought!

Would try out my own betty-cooper for my next avtar :)

For that matter in our forum there is no archie-icons in comic gallery :( ?

[malligai]

bcos WE DO CARE FOR OUR INDIAN VALUES...and there is NOTHING wrong in a wife serving her husband ok...before it was done bcos the husband worked the whole day outside, and the wife cooked for him at home...so she waited to serve him, NOT bcos she was forced to, bcos she wanted too..

even now in our family, on festive days we follow this...we serve food on plaintain leaves, sit on the floor, and let the men eat first...this is not bcos we dont have dining tables or plates...that is our custom, and we like to keep it 'live and kicking'...

bale well said, apadi solunga malligai, :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :clap: :clap:

Thai naataiyum, Kalacharathiyum marakiravanga sontha thaiya marakira mathiri :x :evil: :twisted: , ivankaluku maanipei :!: kidaiyathu

well Said Raghu!!! :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

[Idiappam]

Before you people make up your mind when to get married, you would find youselves too old...

Now, put away the computer and go get married, all of you..

[Querida]

:lol: yep get yourself some sambhar just like Idiappam has :P

[nirosha sen]

:rotfl: Entheru combination, Pa!!

[Uthappam]

:lol: yep get yourself some sambhar just like Idiappam has :P

Who said idiappam has sambhar? but take his advice.

any girl here wanna marry me? Last call!

[xlntbarani]

Great said... Idi miuzakkam pOla... go get married, :)

all of you.. adhu mudiyaadhE... munadiyea kalyaanam aanavanga.. unga pEra vachi.. innum oru undiyal open panida pOranga.. Sir.. paarthu.. sollunga.. namba aalunga adhula bada ushaar...


Before you people make up your mind when to get married, you would find youselves too old...

Now, put away the computer and go get married, all of you..




Venumnaa go an take it...
vEnamnaa.. vittudunga paa...
Just idhu thevai illadha discussion...
:(

[xlntbarani]

Anyways, once married, she is going to spend the rest of her life with her husband...so whats the hurry??.. :lol:

Marry-age.. aana piragu if they live quite happy... they might ask the same question in reverse.. :)

///.... there is no 'worldly' knowledge at all...//

it never depends on age... it depends on the circum... if you want to gather... you should take risk...

//living with ur family and friends and then having to give up all that :( and living with ur husband and in-laws....thats like living in two CONTRASTING WORLDS....thats sad for a girl pa....
//

its not only for a girl ... for all being.... but enakku adhuthaan puriyala... why to give up all... em....


//it is like wrapping her like a christmas present and dumping her in some else's house... :razz://
ippadiyea... peniyam pEsi.. niraya vishayatha.. naam karuthukku eduthukkavE.. illa.. adhanaala thaan... ippavum... naam aan adhikkathukku.. maraimugamaagavum support seydhukittu irukOm... :(


//but if the age is around 26-28 [it is afterall a few more years :)]

endha kaalathula irukkareenga Malligai !... em...

neenga solra 26-28.. vEnumna.. oru 40 varushathukku munnadi ok.. em.. ippo..

maximum... age of the coming generations is 45-50.. em...

yellorum thirumanam .. patri pEsum pozudhu.. thirumanam seydhukka pOgira.. aanayO - penayO patri mattum thaan kavalai padureenga... em.. :(

ange oru uyir janikka pOgudhe.. adha patri yaarumE pesa mattengareengalE... en ... maratha vachavan thani ooothuvaanu nenaikkareengalaa.. illa adha patri kavalayE illayaa.. em.. :wink:

pru ponnu thirumanam seydhukkara man pakkuvam... 26 vayasukku mEla thaan varumnaa... oru ponnukku wordly knowledge 22 vayasula varaadhunna... ?? neenga 26 vayasukku mEla thirumanam seydhukittu... meedhi irukkura.. 24 or 20 yearsla ungal kuzhandhai 'penna' irundha eppadi 'worldly' knwoledge kodukkama.. adha nattathulla vittutu pOiduveengala... em...


Marry-age -
Marriying age.. dont calculate it .. only just with your mentality.. ability or Gender

Just plan it ! How many Childrens you need... How you are going to manage... with your childs growth/development time... Time given for his/her Mental ability to developed to face the world without YOU... and correspondingly your partners mental-ability and physical-ability fluctuation on the years to come...


Happy Journey !!!





Mathapadi .. idha patri uruppadiyaa pEsuradhukku onnum illa... summa thread.. summa irukkEnu.. TV serial pOla.. izuthukitte pogalaam.. avlavuthaan..

Take Care
-baraniidharaa

[tfmlover]

why marry ?

[pavalamani pragasam]

eppothu varappokiratho enru ninaiththa kelvi vanthe vittathu!!!
paavam, thread aarambiththavar ithai ethirpaarththirukka maattaar!!!

[Lambretta]

eppothu varappokiratho enru ninaiththa kelvi vanthe vittathu!!!
paavam, thread aarambiththavar ithai ethirpaarththirukka maattaar!!!
:lol: :D

[S.Balaji]

eppothu varappokiratho enru ninaiththa kelvi vanthe vittathu!!!
paavam, thread aarambiththavar ithai ethirpaarththirukka maattaar!!!



Mr. Pavalamani Prakasam....

I have copied and pasted your words below !!

Eager to watch the trends of the world & to nurture in the youth who carry the future world on their shoulders a right sense of values

[pavalamani pragasam]

sirippathaa azuvathaa enRu therivathillai pala samayangkalil:ippothu pola!!!

[dev]

why marry ?

So that U can complicate ur life, thus making it interesting... :evil: :lol:

[Lambretta]

why marry ?

So that U can complicate ur life, thus making it interesting... :evil: :lol:
Sarcasm reg. the complication bit I presume?! :wink: :lol:

[Anoushka]

why marry ?

Good question :lol:

I would say it is to have some one, a friend for you all the time :) You can have many friends but when they have a family then the family gains importance and not you, they cannot be available for you all the time.... It is nice to have someone just for yourself isn't it? that is the way I look at it! My husband is my best friend.... I tell him everything, my joys and sorrows... because he is there for me always I don't have to worry about anything!

[pavalamani pragasam]

Anoushka, "living together" is the fashion of the day! This is called reading between the lines!!! You sound so naive!!!

[Anoushka]

Anoushka, "living together" is the fashion of the day! This is called reading between the lines!!! You sound so naive!!!

:) Thanks for making it clear... I actually didn't think about that when I replied...

Living together is fine, but at some stage would one not want to have a wedding, lavish or simple, doesn't matter... but a wedding? Living together is acceptable but then there is still something missing..... atleast that is what I feel! I might be wrong :)

Till the wedding actually takes place the partner is still not family but just a living-in partner!

[pavalamani pragasam]

"then there is still something missing..... atleast that is what I feel!"

The tragedy is the world does not seem to mind a bit what you or I feel!!!!

[ssanjinika]

I didnt get that from the "Why Marry" question either!!Did the world take a huge gaint leap and leave me behind sometime during the last 3 years :shock: ??

[Sanguine Sridhar]

Why Marry?
Why marry? What kind of question is that to be asking you as you plan your marriage? It's a question that needs answering by both of you. Why you marry is one indication of how equal your marriage will be. People marry for all kinds of reasons today, including being too embarrassed to call off the wedding. As you prepare yourself to enter "the holy state of matrimony," give some thought to the institution and the pros and cons of marriage. How do you and your spouse-to-be define marriage?

Marriage Facts:

True, research shows marriage is good for your mental and physical health, sex life and bank account, but so are a lot of other things requiring less commitment.

Marriage is a topic of academic study at the University of Chicago where Don Browning is director of the Religion, Culture and Family Project. He thinks that our society is having a tough time figuring out just what marriage is and to come up with strong cultural and intellectual justifications. In the past, marriage was primarily a social institution, but it has become increasingly an individual matter.

"The many justifications for marriage advanced through the ages can be organized along a continuum between its communal and personal dimensions. The march of history increasingly has subordinated the communal and elevated the personal," he believes." The idea of marriage as an institution has lost favor. More and more, marriage is viewed as an essentially private intersubjective agreement or "pure relationship" only incidentally sanctioned by state or church, if at all."

He has outlined five dimensions of marriage, which he feels are essential to understanding it as an institution and as "a living human reality." All five dimensions contribute in various degrees to how marriage is viewed and practiced today.


Marriage as organizer of natural desires. Early philosophers saw marriage as a way to handle natural inclinations such as sex drives and urges to procreate as well as to meet daily needs - the "Be fruitful and multiply" of the Old Testament.

Marriage as a contract. For centuries, marriage has involved contracts although early on they were primarily between families or clans and involved dowry and bride prices. Clans and later the church governed broken contracts. Marital contracts were largely private until the Protestant Reformation when marriages required registration and legitimizing by the state.

Marriage as a social good. As far back as Aristotle, people believed that the health of marriage and family was essential for the good of the larger society - particularly in bringing up children. Martin Luther went so far as to teach that marriage was an institution given by God at creation for the good of couples, children, society, state, schools and the common social life. The same principle lies behind the marriage education requirements recently instituted by Florida, Louisiana and Arizona.

Marriage as sacrament and covenant. Both views "drape marriage with a royal robe of divine seriousness and approval." according to Browning. Christianity, Islam and Judaism all have hierarchical patterns of marriage commitment to parallel man's faithfulness to God. Thomas Aquinas made marriage an unbreakable sacrament to compensate for what he saw as the tentativeness of the male commitment to offspring.

Marriage as Communicative Reality. Marriage between equal individuals for mutual comfort and assistance has been growing as a concept for the last 50 years and is a "significant shift from earlier formulations," according to Browning. In much contemporary theology today, the personal aspects are considered as important as procreative and educational aspects of the institution, but as marriage has evolved towards greater economic, educational and political equality, so have the challenges of communication between equal partners.
To achieve equality in marriage, Browning encourages couples to "develop the communicative and intersubjective skills to implement this ethic in the countless small decisions of everyday life between spouses. Knowing what you want, how to communicate it and listening to the other will help in striking marital bargains, he suggests, but so will an ethnic of equal regard, grounded in respect "for the other as an end and never as a means only."

[Lambretta]

Living together is fine, but at some stage would one not want to have a wedding, lavish or simple, doesn't matter... but a wedding? Living together is acceptable but then there is still something missing..... atleast that is what I feel! I might be wrong :)
Till the wedding actually takes place the partner is still not family but just a living-in partner!
Tats right......and also live-in relationship is just a convenient "use & throw" means of dumping the partner when ur bored of them......marriage is like buying a vehicle legally, registering it formally in ur name & being proud of being truly recognised for ur ownership/possession of ur real pride & joy.....whereas live-in is like having a stolen vehicle or one tat u don't want to bother legally registering in ur name even after buying so u jus use it for fun, for a while, then scrap it once ur "done" w/ it......!
Well, tats my perception of the answer to "why marry"! :wink: :lol:

[Querida]

Why am i not surprised Lamby? :roll: :lol: :D

[dev]

why marry ?

So that U can complicate ur life, thus making it interesting... :evil: :lol:

"Why get married and make one man miserable when u can stay single and make thousands miserable?" :lol:

No no no no... it's not making life miserable... it's just making it complicated... Don't U enjoy solving complicated problems???!!! :wink:

[pavalamani pragasam]

When a town is planned deep thought, long run perspective, wide calculation& estimates of various factors are taken into consideration. Drinking water pipelines, drainage, entertainment facilities, community centres, market place, shopping malls and so on are meticulously planned, provided for with diligence & sincere vision. Marriage is such a planned structure evolved by our wise forefathers ensuring the total health of a progressive society of human beings. There are lots of unsaid, understood conditions, stipulations in a contract of marriage mutually binding, responsible and farsighted, needless to say beneficial for progeny. An agreement with extensive duties for both partners. It includes, embraces all planes of human existence, physical, emotional, intellectual, moral, ethical & social. It has been gradually built up as the race became more and more civilised, cultured, sublimating as a species superior to beasts. Overthrowing it, discarding it in a false sense of emancipation, equality & intelligence will only mean a backward slide down civilisation back to life in the jungles where only muscle power ruled. No government of senses or territory.

[pavalamani pragasam]

[tscii:cfcdced22f]That was a beautiful example, Lambretta! :clap: :clap: :clap:

Propriety is undeniably a mark of civilization, be in a matter of vehicle or spouse. Most of the accidents on the road happen because of those not abiding by traffic rules and disregarding signal lights endangering, even fatally, the lives of innocent law-abiding citizens. Society’s ills stem from these new renegades & perverts.[/tscii:cfcdced22f]

[Sinthiya]

interesting topic...will read on it soon...:)

[Lambretta]

[tscii:e36e1da01c]

hiiii :)
expected this !

ok you bought a read good one legally registred WoW!..you got the licence too to....
imagine something happnd everything gone all gone ! including
who ever witnsed u owning the vehicle , saw you enjoying it legally, ur paper work ,
records including the ministry record..all gone with the wind
only you and just that vehicle , just both of you...

HOW you will proceed ur destiny forward?
1.will you dump it coz no valid supporting admissible merit no longer found
2. will you brave out with the same vehicle ? in that case could you please justify ur intuition .
I don’t see y I shud dump my vehicle jus bcos all the evidence of my ownership is gone…..and btw, I didn’t get y u compare this to remaining married….u mean sumone wud/shud dump their spouse jus bcos official evidence of their marriage is all gone?? Wud tat, in this case, be ur/ur spouse’s fault?? Wat if the whole country got a series of bomb attacks tat wiped out all official records/evidence of the marriage as well as the witnesses?? Wud u like to disown/dump ur spouse bcos of tat? :D
Neways, I think u got a bit confused here so let me further elaborate……first of all, I gave the eg. of having a legally reg.’d vehicle & being sentimental abt it as opposed to having a “use & throw” one, to compare marriage w/ transitory live-in relations……
U take the effort of finding a vehicle tat u cud trust at ne time, then on finding one, legally transferring the vehicle into ur name, paying the tax/insurance etc., duly completing all the formalities to get the vehicle registered as urs and thereafter get the regn. regularly renewed when it is due, get the fitness done periodically, and eventually develop satisfaction/ attachment over it w/ the years, sharing many (mostly) good times w/ it…….this shows ur committed towards ur vehicle……..in this particular aspect this is similar to marriage (love or arranged), where u r willing to make efforts to find the right person whom u cud trust at ne time, then agree to undergo whatever commitments r necessary to establish the relationship, taking emotional & physical care of ur partner & getting to share many (mostly)good times w/ him/her………now taking the case of a “use & throw” ownership, where u want a vehicle, maybe for a purpose, but mostly to have fun w/……ur not inclined to go thru the process of registerering it in ur name, paying for the tax/fitness or ne of tat……no commitments! U just “ride” it as long as u can hav fun w/ it……once u feel bored w/ it or it starts to get physically “weak” & u don’t want to take ne responsibility on tat, u say “ok I think we’re thru”…….then u sell it or scrap it, don’t care wat happens to it & move on to find another one…only to repeat the same story!
Hope tat makes it more clear! :wink: :D [/tscii:e36e1da01c]

[Lambretta]

[tscii:dd9c7ac0fe]That was a beautiful example, Lambretta! :clap: :clap: :clap:

Propriety is undeniably a mark of civilization, be in a matter of vehicle or spouse. Most of the accidents on the road happen because of those not abiding by traffic rules and disregarding signal lights endangering, even fatally, the lives of innocent law-abiding citizens. Society’s ills stem from these new renegades & perverts.[/tscii:dd9c7ac0fe]
Tks PP ma'm!
And yes even ur point abt comparing accidents due to disregard for traffic rules w/ social ills from disregard for ethics/norms is a worthy eg.!! :thumbsup: :D
Glad to find sumone speaking my lingo! :wink: :lol:

[tfmlover]

[quote="pavalamani pragasam"][tscii]That was a beautiful example, Lambretta! :clap: :clap: :clap:

Propriety is undeniably a mark of civilization, be in a matter of vehicle or spouse. Most of the accidents on the road happen because of those not abiding by traffic rules and disregarding signal lights endangering, even fatally, the lives of innocent law-abiding citizens. Society’s ills stem from these new renegades & perverts :?: :?: :?:

then again right wrong justified by the circumstances , one can marry if he/she ready to bite the bullet ,
materialistic indecent proposals , no demies to measure the moore
thers no point you pp @ bp.com .relax !

[pavalamani pragasam]

Half of what tfmlover says is Greek & Latin to me!

I am under the impression that pedestrians also are a part of traffic! With rules, signals etc. Means must be sought to check & control pollution instead of denouncing modern riding comforts.

"open" society!!! Yes, very open it is! We have things like windows & doors ever since we became civilised enough to live in houses! They are for more safety, comfort & privacy. Those used to these achievements of civilisation may not want to go back to live under the "open" skies abandoning all reasonable, sensible advantages of healthy living. People who venture out into the wilds can only be labelled renegades & perverts.

[Lambretta]

Lambretta..hi
you talk as if all those married already are original stock ?and those not marry dont commit? and less esteemed?
if that is true why divorce / seperation rate soo high and increasing ,and encouraging the singls to 'fear promises ?
(the rate excluding the pitiable who has no financial means to pay thru nose , give up and give into abusive environment , lifetime they pay piper)
Hi Tfmlover.....
To be honest I donno wat experience u'd got familiar w/ reg. marriage (not tat I mean to get personal) but u seem to view marriage in a totally -ve light......agreed not all of them survive.......and yes, I'm also against marriages based on materialistic demands/agreements as found in our society (which r sadly becoming common even on the girls's side today), which is y I mentioned abt even love-marriages......but for the -ve aspects (materialsm, infidelity, divorce) its the ppl. alone who r to blame, y blame marriage institution itself??
Also the way I see it, there jus can't be committment in case of 1-night stands or even "long-term" relationships.......even in those the partners "commit" themselves only as long as they get the main thing tat they want from each other (I'm sure u know wat I mean! :wink: )
Ok forget abt my comparing vehicle ownership etc........now do u mind answering this: whom wud u like to hav w/ u at the end of the day, say when ur (god-forbid) in sum mortal danger or when ur in the last stage of ur life? Sumone who's just "lived together" for u for a while & gave u mere physical happiness (& took the same from u) or rather sumone who's stood by ur side @ all times thru thick & thin & been more than just a partner for physical enjoyment to u??

[pavalamani pragasam]

[tscii:7370a82d78]Lambretta, today’s brilliant people have solutions for that too! Aren’t we witnessing the advent of an age of creches & old age homes?[/tscii:7370a82d78]