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Cinefan
18th August 2005, 05:11 PM
http://www.hindu.com/mp/2005/08/18/stories/2005081801340100.htm

I came across this interesting article in 'The Hindu'today which talks about the hesitation women have in going to watch a cinema alone.In fact till now I have never given a thought about this but after reading the article I can't help but wonder about it.

Do we see educated,decent,working women going to a theatre alone?

Men have no problems doing it,Personally I have seen a lot of movies alone(esp Kamal ones,I like it that way),why not women?

Infact,the same question can be asked about going out to restaurants too?

Is it the fear of being branded as a characterless person?

All the women hubbers out there,have you gone to cinema halls,restaurants alone.If Yes,tell your experiences.If No,what prevented you from going?

pavalamani pragasam
18th August 2005, 05:16 PM
peNmai kuNanalankaLai precious aaka ninaiththaal, paathukaakka ninaiththaal, tholaiththuvidaamal irukka ninaiththaal aapaththiRku aaraththi eduppathu uNdO?

scorpio
18th August 2005, 05:50 PM
Cinefan,

Interesting topic..

Oops..now that I think about it, I haven't gone to a movie or to a restaurant alone till now..Worse, I don't even go to the cafeteria (within my office premises) alone. If I have no company, I always prefer to skip coffee or even lunch at times..

Why? I really need time to think..Probably, we are not used to that way..

Why dont u ask the male hubbers, yourself included, if you'll be comfortable to send yr wife /sister to a movie or a restaurant alone? That will give is another interesting perspective I guess :)

Cinefan
18th August 2005, 06:05 PM
Why dont u ask the male hubbers, yourself included, if you'll be comfortable to send yr wife /sister to a movie or a restaurant alone? That will give is another interesting perspective I guess :)

Hmmm,Interesting point.

Will I mind it if my wife says "I want to go to a movie alone"-NO.

Will I be worried about her safety-No ,as long as she is going to a good theatre-morn,afternoon or evening shows.

With restaurants-I don't think my wife will ever come&say that she wants to go &eat out alone :D .In fact even men don't prefer it unless they are out of office on work& have to grab something in a fast food joint.

In fact i have seen quite a lot of women,college girls frequenting 'Darshini's'(fast food joints)alone here, but never at a good hotel where you need to sit,order&wait.

I guess it's got something to do with the 'stares' they are subjected to at such places.

Raghu
18th August 2005, 06:06 PM
[tscii]
Why dont u ask the male hubbers, yourself included, if you'll be comfortable to send yr wife /sister to a movie or a restaurant alone? That will give is another interesting perspective I guess :)

good one, no I would not let them reason to watch TAMIL films, reason being, I have seen many Thugs , Rowdies, and Fools in Cinema, even in London , they smuggle whisky into the hall drink and misbehave so bloody cheaply with women, :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: I watch Tamil films in Cinema(ONLY Rajnikanth film, cos I believe I get an excellent entertainment for my ££, sorry cine fan :lol: ), and of course of the Disney cartoon type movies,
:lol:

When we queuing up to watch Chandramughi, had to wait out side Odeon Cinema for 1 hr!!,These thugs were misbehaving so dirtily, all dirty talking, teasing girls, some of the males were in their 50, bloody idiots ill talking about girls :x :evil: :twisted: , so I said to my self, I had enough, and I confronted about 3 of them, so they backed off, now tell me how can you send a women alone to these places, even if a women is with a guy, they still behave like morons, so how can you send them alone?

kadavule, I don't know what this world is coming to! :cry:

alwarpet_andavan
18th August 2005, 07:44 PM
Definitely not in India, and make that 200% impossible in singara Chennai or Delhi :)
After Mumbai, Bangalore is better for women that way........

Anoushka
18th August 2005, 08:04 PM
A very interesting topic!

I haven't gone to the cinema alone and I don't think I will... I like to have company when I watch movies and that is the reason. I have never thought of going to the cinema alone at all so far!

But to restaurants yes! I used to live in a paying guest accomodation during college days... I had to take care of my own food and I had no access to kitchen! I couldn't expect someone to accompany me morning noon and night to the restaurant!

Even when I was working and in my first job I used to live in a working women's hostel who gave only two meals - breakfast or lunch and dinner! I am a person who can't think straight if I don't have food on time so would go to the restaurant alone for breakfast or lunch even then!

And till date, this habit continues... if I am hungry, I stop where I am and find a place where I can grab something to eat, whether in India or abroad.

dlaxmi16
18th August 2005, 09:54 PM
This is a good topic to discuss on..
Well till now never have I got the thought of going alone to a cinema theatre ,have always gone with friends or someone along with me...and badly if I am so bored , I would rather get a dvd & watch it alone at home...
with respect to going to eat out, ofcourse in this fast life..there are at times when you need to go alone & eat out alone..this can also be avoided at times..But I haven't really faced this situation in India..

tvsankar
18th August 2005, 09:56 PM
I have a small personal expereince to share!


When myself(before my marriage) and my mom were alone, my mom had to be hospitalised.

That time i have to go to hotel alone, thrice and my feeling then was.

1. Hotels are not safe for lonely women.


2. Hotels are run my males only. Thats why the risk for safety for women.


3.If the hotels are managed by women, there won't be such feelings.


Theaters are run by males only. They only can run the show!!!

This place also owned by men.It is mostly their entertainment

place. Naturaly safety for women is nil.


That is the reason why ladies are not prefering lonely visit to these places.
With Love,
Usha Sankar.

NOV
19th August 2005, 07:13 AM
This issue is not India-centric only. Women, by nature do not go to public places unaccompanied. Why no one thinks about this is because it is just never done!

Personally, I love solittude and have been to movies alone. Restaurants? All the time. :lol:
I even have sought refuge in the rest room at home to keep the brats from barging into everywhere, including the bedroom. :shock:

Women dont dine alone. Under forced circumstances, they'd rather pack their food and eat in the comfort of their homes or workstations. Scorpio is a good example of that. ;)

There was once when I saw a lady alone in KFC, who had ordered and was enjoying a bucket of fried chicken. God! How much I admired her. :P
However, these cases are an exception rather than the rule.

And it has nothing to do with preserving modesty or preventing personal injury. Women do not dine or visit public performances alone.

pavalamani pragasam
19th August 2005, 07:26 AM
Thanx, Nov, for saluting the love for company (surpassing any other consideration) of the fair sex :D

Nerd
19th August 2005, 09:10 AM
Even if they happen to be alone in a restauent/theatre they will call their boyfriend 10 times in a minute and *pounce* upon him once he comes :cry:

dev
19th August 2005, 09:33 AM
Good topic to discuss... I've never been to movie theatres alone...I don't watch movies very often...I go to cinema halls once in a blue moon...that too under the compulsion of my friends/relatives or some super hit film which I'll really feel like watching...:)

To restaurants... Yes... I've been to restaurants alone...both in India & SG... I've never felt it unsafe being to a hotel alone...As cinefan said,there used to be 'stares' ...but that never affected me much...Stares doesn't necessarily mean that there's someting running in that person's mind abt you...It could even be that he's thinking abt his work & it's just his eyes that's in the direction where you are...even I've been doing that many a times... Staring at something(which my mind wouldn't have taken note of) but in deep thoughts abt something else...

Shekhar
20th August 2005, 09:49 AM
I don't understand why women even want to go alone to theatre or restaurant, when there are plenty of foolish men like me to take them there and foot the bill too!! :lol: :lol:

P_R
20th August 2005, 09:52 AM
..............As cinefan said,there used to be 'stares' ...but that never affected me much...Stares doesn't necessarily mean that there's someting running in that person's mind abt you...It could even be that he's thinking abt his work & it's just his eyes that's in the direction where you are...even Heh heh I do that often :twisted: Nice to know it sells. Subtext reads "not you madam but beyond you. I am presently doing a comparitive analysis of Neruda and Nammazhwar in my head. So eat in oblivious peace".

Badri
22nd August 2005, 08:33 AM
..............As cinefan said,there used to be 'stares' ...but that never affected me much...Stares doesn't necessarily mean that there's someting running in that person's mind abt you...It could even be that he's thinking abt his work & it's just his eyes that's in the direction where you are...even Heh heh I do that often :twisted: Nice to know it sells. Subtext reads "not you madam but beyond you. I am presently doing a comparitive analysis of Neruda and Nammazhwar in my head. So eat in oblivious peace".

Neruda and Nammazhvar???

:rotfl:

Interestingly, we had a discussion yesterday with some friends when they too were telling us how they never went to a movie alone! Ditto with my wife before marriage! For some reason, it just didnt occur to them! And I am talking about Australians, not Indians! So I think it has more to do with the female mentality!

After all, they even go to the restroom in a group!! :lol:

a.ratchasi
22nd August 2005, 09:05 AM
No, I have not gone to the movies alone as for me, I see it as an excuse to get away from the work demands and also to meet up good ole friends. Going to the movies has always been an exciting activity. Going alone is such a bore!

As for eating all by yourself, I dont see it as a problem as I have done that myself. It's nice to retreat once in a while. :D Though the opportunity to do so is rare, very very rare. :)

Badri
22nd August 2005, 09:09 AM
Going alone is such a bore!

What is the idea of going to a movie? It is to see the movie, isn't it? So, why not do it alone, if you don't happen to get everybody to come? In any case, when the movie is on, you don't get to talk to anyone...unless you happen to be one of those irritating types that disturb everyone with their endless chatter!



It's nice to retreat once in a while. :D Though the opportunity to do so is rare, very very rare. :)

Alright, alright, we get the idea!! :lol:

a.ratchasi
22nd August 2005, 09:25 AM
Going alone is such a bore!

What is the idea of going to a movie? It is to see the movie, isn't it? So, why not do it alone, if you don't happen to get everybody to come? In any case, when the movie is on, you don't get to talk to anyone...

Though movie going is the main idea, it is the other plans that actually entice the whole day/evening. Finding a nice place to eat, and another to just sit and reminisce the old days besides updating each other on the latest happenings is part of the agenda. So, going alone is indeed a bore. :D


unless you happen to be one of those irritating types that disturb everyone with their endless chatter!

I happen to be one of those who shut such irritants up! :twisted:

a.ratchasi
22nd August 2005, 01:46 PM
It's nice to retreat once in a while. :D Though the opportunity to do so is rare, very very rare. :)

Alright, alright, we get the idea!! :lol:

Badri, I dont know what you mean by that :), but I meant my beloved colleagues' anbu thollai!! Thus, my inability to go solo for lunch. :poke: :lol: :lol:

lordstanher
22nd August 2005, 02:39 PM
Might I add my 2 cents worth to this thread.........from my observation/understanding of Indian society atleast & from a bit of wat sum of u'd posted here, I'd reckon women (atleast in India) r reluctant to go out to Theatres/Restaurants etc. by themselves for either or both of the following reasons:

1) They fear being subjected to more unwanted/unprovoked harassment, if seen unaccompanied by their men, from cheap/lewd men who frequent these places, esp., as Raghu had pointed out, in Cinemas where these type of men r commonly found sumtimes in groups.........unftly even many of the so-called good/family movies made in India today (esp. South) hav an increasing degree of vulgarity in them & so most theatres where these r shown r frequented by such flesh-loving hooligans who seldom spare ne oppurtunity to behave cheaply w/ women in the premises........So I daresay a lone woman wud apparently appear unprotected & inadvertently prove to be all the more a 'golden chance' for taking advantage of.......!

and/or

2) A solitary woman frequenting such places of entertainment or 'timepass' may hav the fear of being taken for a loose woman seeking company of men who r again the abovementioned types......

I again reckon tat women OTOH, feel far 'safer' going to shops/supermarkets by themselves as these r 'busy' & purpose-oriented places where ppl. obv. frequent only for a specific necessity & normally less probable to attract unwanted characters.......quite unlike the case of Cinemas/restuarants.......?

Ne further inputs/comments from ne of u in this regard? :)

Anoushka
25th August 2005, 03:02 PM
[tscii:9d1a3db869]I gave this some more thought and have to add a few points here!

For a start I hardly saw any movies in the theatre in the first twenty years of my life.

Movies unlike food is not a basic necessity! I travel alone, eat alone and do everything that is utterly necessary by myself. I know I can't go looking for company for everything! Shopping comes in that list too. If I am waiting for someone to accompany me to go to the shops to get milk, then I am going to have to wait for days if not weeks! So I get up and go and do it!

I can't look for company to go to work, to the temple, to the shopping centre, library, petrol station, mechanic, etc. While some of them are basic necessities, some of them though are not basic, can be done without company. I've always associated movies to a thing done with family or friends. I think that makes a difference too!

Another reason I can think is the family and general attitude of people around us. While my Mom and her mother were completely independent people and knew their way around the world, my mother in-law never leaves home!

My mother was brought up by her father in a very independent manner and my father has given her the freedom to do things by herself too. My Dad travels more than 15 days a month and she has managed the house without a bother so far. In fact if Indian Railways had a frequent traveller scheme, she would have enough miles to go to the moon and back by now :)

My mother-in-law on the other hand has never left the house by herself ever... She has been told by her father, husband and children that she doesn't know anything and will get lost if she goes by herself! Forget going to the restaurant or theatre, she will not go to the neighbours' by herself!

When I met a group of friends here about five years ago I used to go out to the pub with them on Friday nights. Each time I left for home at about 2 in the night I would have a couple of (desi) guys accompanying me to the taxi rank even if I didn't want it! No amount of convincing them that “I've lived in Dublin for as long as they had and know my way out and as a sober female I could handle anything better than the two drunken guys” worked! I even had to reach home and give them a call to say that I reached safely! And they couldn’t digest the fact that I lived in a single bed apartment by myself!

Another thing is that there are certain things that one wouldn’t want to do alone and I think going to the theatre is one of them! A friend dragged me to learn French with him because he didn’t want to do it alone! I have another friend who drags people to the theatre because he likes to discuss the movie immediately after he gets out of the theatre. In fact I remember having heated arguments with my parents coming out of the theatre after night shows about how the ending wasn’t good or how the movie was another typical Bollywood formula movie, etc! If one went to the cinema alone, they would miss all that fun!

So I guess it is not just a female thing and it depends from person to person. [/tscii:9d1a3db869]

alwarpet_andavan
29th August 2005, 03:38 PM
http://urban-j.blogspot.com/2005/08/single-at-movies.html

Cinefan
29th August 2005, 04:13 PM
AA,
Apt blog for this thread.

In fact Scorpio akka asked me whether I would send my wife alone&my reply was "if it's a multiplex,def Yes"As the blogger says,a multiplex has given women who want to be independent a chance to do things without depending on others.

But overall,ppl define movie watching as a social experience which I too believe it is not.If you want to talk,go to a restaurent.

alwarpet_andavan
29th August 2005, 06:13 PM
AA,
But overall,ppl define movie watching as a social experience which I too believe it is not.If you want to talk,go to a restaurent.
There are some movies, which, if you are seeing alone, might be disastrous to say the least. I'm talking about the so-bad-it-was-good movies, which can be survived or better enjoyed if watched with others and having a good laugh :)

Querida
10th September 2005, 02:07 AM
Well have never gone to a restaurant alone...not that i'm not allowed or that i'm worried about stares,thugs, trouble...etc. those will be present nevertheless with even a group of fifty people accompanying you...it's just more fun with more people...especially to have someone to converse with while eating...sometimes i feel so odd at uni eating alone that i skip it altogether...

short story...my cuz kept on about the movie "collateral" which he said was wicked and i would enjoy it..seeing how no one i knew had time i actually went alone...the attendents either thought i was with the person behind me or asked if i was waiting for friends...and finally this elderly group of four asked me to sit with them if i was too lonely...how sweet but still i felt sooooo odd...i said never again!

nirosha sen
10th September 2005, 10:45 AM
I haven't been to a cinema in years, Pa!! Just can't seem to find the right company, I guess!! But there was an occasion when I just wanted to get away and be this lone wolverine?????

Well, I still remember that movie as E.T. Not knowing what was in store considering I had not read the synopsis earlier, I settled down to watch the movie. Unfortunately, I sat in a row of Malay males who obviously were more reliant on the subtitles than dialogue. Needlessly to say, it was most frustrating for me to have these chatter-boxes going on and on.......

The saddest part of this whole experience was, not being able to share those poignant moments emoted by that wonderful alien creature!! When I ooh and aahed, in that final chase scene by those kids in their air-borne bicycles with ET in a carrier basket, those dang critters next to me actually stopped to stare!!

Don't think I've dared attempt to be a lone ranger again since!!

Shakthiprabha.
27th September 2005, 11:38 AM
Hey Ive been restaurant alone. What big deal?
The goal is to get ur tummy filled. It does not matter
if anyone is accompanying u or not. Infact its bliss
to be alone at times :D

To theatres well no.... not thought bout it.
I guess basically we go to have fun with friends,
or family. So where is the question of watching movie
alone?

Yes, dotn mind trying though. Infact its kinda
sensational to just be in ur own world, and be
unaware of day to day interferences.

Should try it. Would let u know soon. :)

Cinefan
27th September 2005, 04:59 PM
Hey Shakthiprabha,
Welcome back.Where were you all these days?

ssanjinika
27th September 2005, 06:17 PM
******Digression*************

For any of you "Friends" fans out there...
I remember this Episode where Monica tells Rachel to go out and spend some time with herself.ITs a real funny episode where Rachel starts enjoying being alone so much that she even decides to forgo dates...

Well...just remembered that when I saw this topic :P

********End Digression**********

mirth
27th September 2005, 07:32 PM
Like the blogger in the link http://urban-j.blogspot.com/2005/08/single-at-movies.html posted by alwarpet_andavan, I too go to the movies to actually watch them. Sometimes it is also difficult to organize others to join you for a movie that you want to watch. So I have no problem going to the movies on my own and I've done so many times.

I've also eaten alone but mostly in fast food joints, bistros, cafes and smaller establishments. I usually read something to keep myself occupied while I eat so that I don't become bored. But I've not eaten alone in the higher end restaurants where I feel that such experiences are better shared.

luckylook32
4th October 2005, 12:57 PM
I think a women is gonig to a cinema hall or restaurant alone is not a big sin.

If she goes to a bar alone, that's really danger for our society.

lordstanher
5th October 2005, 03:12 PM
I think a women is gonig to a cinema hall or restaurant alone is not a big sin.
If she goes to a bar alone, that's really danger for our society.

Not really a danger for society but yes, for her!

NM
12th October 2005, 03:47 AM
I have gone to the cinema alone, many times..cos' I just want to be alone.
Hmm...restraunt? Yup...done that too...! Especially when I need to just be on myself. To the beach too..alone, with book as my companion.. :D
Of course I enjoy hanging out with friends :D but it's just that sometimes, I feel like enjoying my solitude!

Cindy
24th October 2005, 05:05 PM
I wonder!!!

Do MEN go to cinema and restaurants alone???

or anybody ever want to go to these places alone?..not the fear fact .... but then.. whats different? whats so thrilling in watching a movie alone with strangers on both side?... better settle with ur home video...

Eating alone out?... with no one to share ur funny thoughts on ppl around ??? huh.. u go to restaurants just to EAT? :wink:

may be yes, as how NM feels about it, but only once in a while...not always..right NM?

NM
25th October 2005, 03:54 AM
may be yes, as how NM feels about it, but only once in a while...not always..right NM?absolutely, Cindy! :D :D BTW, missed yr avatar!!! Where've u been?? :wink:

Sandeep
25th October 2005, 09:07 AM
I wonder!!!
Do MEN go to cinema and restaurants alone???

Yes a lot !!!



or anybody ever want to go to these places alone? whats so thrilling in watching a movie alone with strangers on both side?... better settle with ur home video...

I assume men go to movies to catch the latest films and also for the big screen and sound effect. Home systems may have well advanced a lot but still it cannot match the movies.

The case of women seem to be different (exceptions like NM and Niro do exist). For them it seems to be part of socializing and/or family activity.