East meets West – The Cultural Collisions

[Raghu]

Dear All,

Most of us have here have migrated to the west or away from our 'Mother Land' (India/SL) , what are the Cultural problems and Conflicts we encounter in the west? Does the younger Generation Follow our Culture?

lets discuss[/b]

[Raghu]

Sad to see no one is participating in a sensible topic :cry: :cry: :cry:

[Guyana]

Lets start with the pressures in certain jobs/postions to meet western standard of dressing and the difficulties faced by Indians. I have some stories (not really about my self), to share. I will come back.

And I have to say the Indian men look more "sheik" than some white guys in western clothes. Look at the Indian movies these days.

[nirosha sen]

Most of them are compelled to by their environment, Pa!! Otherwise, why bother to leave the Motherland???? I think most Indians have successfully adapted to their new land of choice. It's evident everywhere outside India.

I've lived all my life here in my homeland and I'm most comfortable, practising what I choose to and away from the pressures of the old country which my forebears had put up with! :)

To me India is strictly for tourism, cultural and religious and of course, I'm eyeing a good education system.

[Raghu]

well Me living in UK having Migrated when I was just 13yrs old, find certain things quite difficult to tolerate, every Friday These guys & girls here are in the PUB till late evenings, I am not like this, I am not interested in these things, all these guys do is get drunk over the limit and they don't even know who they with.

I find it very difficult to come up with excuses everytime they ask me out, like Oh I have head ache, I need to go to the gym, I am always given funny looks and some time I feel as I am isolated from the rest, but I don't give damn as I am only here to do my Job.

But most of the time, it is quite distressing

[nirosha sen]

Hmm...peer pressure is there everywhere Raghu!! Not just the UK, Pa!!

Friday night out is the most common outing anywhere I reckon. It's the crowd one choose to hang out with, I suppose. But still, choices are there for not just Indians but even other native Brits. I'm sure!! :(

[Raghu]

Hmm...peer pressure is there everywhere Raghu!! Not just the UK, Pa!!

Friday night out is the most common outing anywhere I reckon. It's the crowd one choose to hang out with, I suppose. But still, choices are there for not just Indians but even other native Brits. I'm sure!! :(

Is this followed in India too :shock: :shock: :shock:

[aravindhan]

I find it very difficult to come up with excuses everytime they ask me out, like Oh I have head ache, I need to go to the gym
Can't you just say "illai pa, enakku viruppam illai?" That worked quite well for me.

Is this followed in India too :shock: :shock: :shock:
Amongst the upper middle class in cities, yes. But it's a rather isolated phenomenon, and a lot less common than the English language press might have you believe. It's not at all difficult to choose to conduct yourself otherwise, even in the most "hep" colleges.

[lordstanher]

Glad to see a thread on a very worthy topic indeed! :D
However, as for the poll, I'm afraid I'm unable to decide among ne of the 3 above given choices! :?
Actually, my response wud be wat Sharuna Sagar (first BBC newsreader to appear on TV clad in a Saree!) says: As long as we preserve the best of the East (our own culture) & adopt the best of the West, everything shud be fine! :wink:
So I guess tats the spirit! Even if u r in a western/westernised country, I guess u can still handle the cult. shock if u r determined not to give up the best of ur culture and at the same time try & appreciate sum aspect of their (western) culture w/ out necessarily well- going too deep into it!
Well, tats my personal thot! :D

[lordstanher]

Hmm...peer pressure is there everywhere Raghu!! Not just the UK, Pa!!

Friday night out is the most common outing anywhere I reckon. It's the crowd one choose to hang out with, I suppose. But still, choices are there for not just Indians but even other native Brits. I'm sure!! :(

Is this followed in India too :shock: :shock: :shock:

Peer pressure is undoubtedly common among teenagers in India.
A friend of mine once told me abt this program he saw on TV abt popularity of pubs/drinking among college students in India......turns out tat many end up in these indulgences even if they didn't like to b4, purely out of peer pressure/fear of being ridiculed by the 'bold' types who have no qualms abt doing it in the first place.
As for me, even tho I lived in Singapore, a largely westernised country w/ plenty of chances for cult. shock, I always avoided giving in to ne form of peer influence, and even otherwise, I personally didn't experience much pressure from the local students there.
A couple of times, a Chinese/other foriegn student in my institute wud invite/persuade me to smoke or sip sum beer.....I wud politely refuse....and tats it....they wudn't pester me ne further from there.
I'm not sure if the situation wud've been the same for me had I been in an Indian college! :D

[lordstanher]

I find it very difficult to come up with excuses everytime they ask me out, like Oh I have head ache, I need to go to the gym
Can't you just say "illai pa, enakku viruppam illai?" That worked quite well for me.

Depends on whether they understand Tamil or not! :wink:


It's not at all difficult to choose to conduct yourself otherwise, even in the most "hep" colleges.

Well, I guess it also depends on how firm/bold u r capable of being, esp. if u r sumthing like an odd one out while being in a gumbal! :D

[Nichiro]

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[Nichiro]

Dear Friends,

Cultures are sum total of parameter of evolution of a society.
Cultures and languages are alike.
If they are like a flowing river which accepts everything unto itself on her way and grows mighty.
Accepting good things from all around and rejecting unwanted influences is in our hands.
If we are like a pond (Our culture) then we are likely to parish.

A culture should be like water...ready to assume the shape of its container.
In absence of any container, it becomes perfect sphere. And if it is on ground, it quenches the thirst of mother Earth. It is very beautiful even in fallen state. In fact the whole world waits for RAIN TO FALL.

I remember one line which is very dear to me.

"VIZANDHAAL VIDHAI POL VIZU.

So let us become flowing water.

Nichiro :?:

[Guyana]

Can't help coming back here sometimes as much as I need to retreat myself.

>>Cultures are sum total of parameter of evolution of a society...Accepting good things from all around and rejecting unwanted influences is in our hands. If we are like a pond (Our culture) then we are likely to parish. A culture should be like water...ready to assume the shape of its container. In absence of any container, it becomes perfect sphere. And if it is on ground, it quenches the thirst of mother Earth. It is very beautiful even in fallen state. In fact the whole world waits for RAIN TO FALL. <<


Many of us have undergone this centuries ago, only that we were never accepted for it, and instead, looked down upon. You only come to know one's position when you are faced with having to put your foot in his/her shoes. :oops:

[Nichiro]

Hello Guyana,
(Are you Urme?)

Such amalgamations need time and space to find its roots.
May be five or six generations down the line, almost all cultures merge.
Nichiro

[Guyana]

Yes I am Urme, you remembered well.

>>Such amalgamations need time and space to find its roots.
May be five or six generations down the line, almost all cultures merge.<<


Not with your earlier approach (which I have personally adopted (see post in white women thread from last year and year before)):

>>Accepting good things from all around and rejecting unwanted influences is in our hands.<<

>> May be five or six generations down the line, almost all cultures merge.<<

You are right "May be", because I know for a fact, first generation from India to the west have significant problems - fighting against their own culture, their parents etc.

But my initial question was, since such an "amalgamation" is a "natural phenomena", why do we look down upon it? Why can't we accept it and act accordingly? We go on as if it's the people's fault or something - they have done something that they shouldn't have or they have failed to do something they should have done.

My other point was, which relates to the one I just made, why laugh at others or tap one another on the shoulders when we are yet to go through the steps of others and we don't know the outcome or the "rate of change" in comparison, or if we know, we ignore it and go on looking down on those who have gone through the process?

Really have to run now. :P

[Surya]

I think...and it's not surpricing coming from me, that we should strongly hold on to our culture, even if we move to the US, Timbuktoo, or Antarctica. Our culture is our identity. And if we loose it, we have no identity, and if we have no identity, then what the hell are we? Sure we can just join the mainstream of the place that we inhabit right now in the name of adaptation, but....well it's really up to the individual, I would say, that we hold on to our culture at all times. :)


These guys & girls here are in the PUB till late evenings, I am not like this, I am not interested in these things......But most of the time, it is quite distressing.

Raghu Ji, :)

Don't be uncomfortable to say no to something u don't want to do. Just tell them straight out, that it's not u, and that u don't like to do these things. Scared of acceptance in the circle of friends? Let me tell u from expierence, when u r urself, u have a lot more fun as well as gain a lot more respect from that circle of friends. :) Like Aravindhan, declining worked for me too.


Regards. 8)

[Raghu]

Dear all,

You have all got the wrond message, I was just using this pUB thing as an example, there are lots of other issues, like 'Mother Language', 'Food' and 'Religion'.

Most Tamil Idiots here , do not speak in Tamil amongst tamils, they speak tanglish, I get so annoyed with these bunch of lunatics :x :evil: :twisted:

[aravindhan]

Well, I guess it also depends on how firm/bold u r capable of being, esp. if u r sumthing like an odd one out while being in a gumbal! :D
The point I was trying to make is that it is quite easy in India to find a gumbal that would rather spend the evenings drinking coffee or going to the beach or a movie rather than going to a pub and getting drunk.


You have all got the wrond message, I was just using this pUB thing as an example, there are lots of other issues, like 'Mother Language', 'Food' and 'Religion'. Most Tamil Idiots here , do not speak in Tamil amongst tamils, they speak tanglish, I get so annoyed with these bunch of lunatics
forumhub adhukkudhaane aiyya irukku! ungaLukku vEru enna thevai? :)

[nirosha sen]

Do you mean a little India in the middle of all that White Man's land???? Don't you guys have any such enclave where it's exclusive to only Indians to gather????

I guess it's easier for us in M'sia, primarily because we have all the needed creature comforts to be practising Indians, Pa!! Our own sundry shops, restaurants, even pubs for Indian singers to belt out the latest!! And of course, our temples!!

We celebrate Deepavali, Thaipusam where kavadis are allowed on the roads and of course all major festivals as per the calender! :D

[Guyana]

>>Do you mean a little India in the middle of all that White Man's land????<<

I met one guy from Bombay when I was in Brighton, UK a few years back. He could not believe I had an altar in my room and how I was living as if in India. When I explained how different it is in Canada where I can go to the temple and celebrate all occassions in new, big and beautiful temples, at stage shows (local singing, dancing and religious acting and not to mention the beautiful costumes), have our own TV stations to do so, etc. , he was surprised. He said he never thought Canada would have the facilities. Well we do and lavishly too. I really missed out while I was away in UK and I can imagine what poor Ragu is going through.

The Guyanese people here have Hindu temples all over Ontario (which you can check and verify on the web). One great thing is that Canada, the only country in the world, promotes "multiculturalism" - the preservation of your culture and heritage. In the USA the Indians outnumber us, but they have few temples. Something to do with the government. We also have areas across the city where you can get all Indian food-stuffs, clothing, restaurants, find any kind of Indian music, you name it. This is fact, not meant to offend or make myself look good.

I think a few months back, there was even an opening in Toronto of a museum of Hindu culture and heritage. Lots of Indians from India and Guyana attended along with the Ontario Premier as shown on TV.

I hope you enjoy the rest of your time on this forum.

[Idiappam]

May be five or six generations down the line, almost all cultures merge.
Nichiro

Hardcore astrologers should not use 'May be', 'five or six'. Be positive man!

[lordstanher]

We celebrate Deepavali, Thaipusam where kavadis are allowed on the roads and of course all major festivals as per the calender! :D

By celebrtating Deevali, do u mean ur actually allowed to burst crackers etc. in the open on tat day? In Singapore, altho its a public hol., I understand therez no bursting of crackers allowed! :(
Also r u given public holidays on all these festival days in M'asia?? Again in S'pore, its only for Deevali.....however, ppl. still do celebrate Thaipusam despite getting no hol. on tat occasion......the kavadis/processions walk all the way from Little India to the Tank Rd. temple and the police r specially present there to guide them and control the traffic!
IMO, they shud've taken this day as a Public hol. (besides Deevali), considering tat its the only one they celebrate so actively.....but they chose Vesak day (Buddhist festival) instead!

[Raghu]

We celebrate Deepavali, Thaipusam where kavadis are allowed on the roads and of course all major festivals as per the calender! :D

By celebrtating Deevali, do u mean ur actually allowed to burst crackers etc. in the open on tat day? In Singapore, altho its a public hol., I understand therez no bursting of crackers allowed! :(
Also r u given public holidays on all these festival days in M'asia?? Again in S'pore, its only for Deevali.....however, ppl. still do celebrate Thaipusam despite getting no hol. on tat occasion......the kavadis/processions walk all the way from Little India to the Tank Rd. temple and the police r specially present there to guide them and control the traffic!
IMO, they shud've taken this day as a Public hol. (besides Deevali), considering tat its the only one they celebrate so actively.....but they chose Vesak day (Buddhist festival) instead!

We do fireworks here in UK, for Diwali, as you may know we have about 2-3 Million Hindus in UK, Places like Southal, Wembley, is like little India, Sardarji's also celebrate Diwali, but sadly there is no Public holiday for this :cry:

[lordstanher]

The point I was trying to make is that it is quite easy in India to find a gumbal that would rather spend the evenings drinking coffee or going to the beach or a movie rather than going to a pub and getting drunk.

Again, I daresay tat wud depend on which place in India.......? :D
From wat I've heard from friends in B'lore, the latter type of gumbal won't be too difficult to find there! :lol:

[lordstanher]

[quote=lordstanher]We do fireworks here in UK, for Diwali, as you may know we have about 2-3 Million Hindus in UK, Places like Southal, Wembley, is like little India, Sardarji's also celebrate Diwali, but sadly there is no Public holiday for this :cry:

Yes I do rem. being told by a net friend who was living in London (now in US) a few yrs ago tat Indians there r very much allowed to celebrate Diwali, crackers et al.....but I guess they're still reluctant to declare it as a public holiday......same thing in the US (& maybe Aus/NZ?) too! :)

[nirosha sen]

Deepavali and Thaipusam are major holidays for us, Pa!!

Thaipusam is declared as public holidays in the states of Selangor, Perak, Penang and Johor. All the Hindus go to the major Murugan temples there to celebrate and watch those dazzling kavadi bearers!! :D

[lordstanher]

Deepavali and Thaipusam are major holidays for us, Pa!!

Well I'm glad the M'asian Indians made the right decision in choosing occasions for public holidays! :D
The s'pore Indians shud've also chosen Thaipusam as a hol. by all means, considering tat they treat it very much like one by grandly celebrating this alone! :D