BLOG OF A DOG......(Doggy musings)

[Nichiro]

Hello Forum Hub Admin and Friends,

This is a loud BOW WOW from Tommy,

I propose to write "Blog Of A Dog."

It would be Biography cum daily musings of mine a Mongreal Dog
Adopted by a family.

Since I think , imagine and scratch like man's best friend, it may have things presented from only a Dog's point of View.
What is natural to me , a Dog, may offend you.
If you want me to be what I am, it should not offend you.

Hope you humans are not offended.

My blog will have some of the most hilarious situations you humans will enjoy. Sorry we Dogs cannot laugh. For that matter none of the animals can.

If you have any reservations, please enter in my blog before I start.
Then I will know whether to scratch or not.

Till the bug bites again,

One legged salute to you all.

[NM]

Yeah...go ahead with your musings....
Let's see if other dogs care to join in, a doggie like me may :wink: :wink:

[pavalamani pragasam]

Bow wow! whish whish!(wagging of the tail) from a canine lover!

An absolutely original, novel idea for a biography!

[Nichiro]

Ok Humans,
You asked for it guys.
Let me scratch the blog story little more and lick it till it shines.
I hope to bring you atleast to my level soon so that humans will become more NATURAL.

[Nichiro]

Hello People,

This is "Blog of a Dog."
I respond to sound "Tommy".

But I know many other sounds refer to me.
Like "Poda Naaye, Shaniyane, Kutta,Raja , Doggy" etc.

I am now just coming to prime of my life.
It makes me slightly over 2 years old.

I was born in Theosophical society campus in Madras.
My mom was a tame mongreal of fawn complexion.
And father....er. she herself would not be sure.
So my passport will have to do with my mom's name.(If she had one)

I was born with five others. Two were bitten to death by my father
He told my mom,"They don't smell like me."

One day about a month after we were born,there was a cyclone when it rained badly,
My mom carried us in mouth one by one to the gates of the society.
She went for the last one but never returned.
I don't know if she was alive or dead then,
But recently when I was marking my territory,
I smelled her urine on the road near Adyar River bridge.
This means she is around somewhere.

Thatha who was passing from there, took pity on me and put me in
the car with all my siblings. He gave off others to people and retained me .
This is because, I have a white long mark on my forehead.

That story I will tell some other day.

I am a tall, dark and handsome dog today.


Now, I will introduce you all to my family.

First and the best is Latha.
Latha you don't know?
Latha is Vardhan's daughter. She studies to be a doctor.
She joined medical college three years back.
She is the one who teaches me medicine,
I sit with her while she reads loudly.
Actually I love to see picture of different bones and flesh.
They are so appetizing.
How I wish I could see colours.
She says blood is red, leaves are green etc.
But to us dogs, all things are black, white or grey.
We are colour blind. So sad.
I sleep partly in her room and in the hall near the TV.

I am a forced vegetarian dog in this house.

I always dream of Bones flesh...... and now a days BITCHES !!

My Ayurveda knowledge is inborn.
If I have stomach problem, I prefer to chew on
selected grass than take vet's pills.

I have studied medicine and computers from Latha.
All about birds , bees and bitches from Thatha and Vardhan and Theru Nai.
Cookery from Vishalam and Mrs. Joseph (of third house.)
(She makes fine cookies and cakes)
And cribbing, from old hag Rajammal.
Of course Theru Nai the old dog has passed on
all his Doggy knowledge to me .
He has taught me which scent on the electric pole
belongs to which dog.
Where they live etc. He knows about many generation
of dogs of the area.

The last lesson Latha taught me was on Pheromones and Hormones.
She has also taught me about computer usage.
I have learnt a lot about the people's world from internet.

We have a P4 computer with a 17"screen .
Latha uses it for her studies and emails.
Vishu uses it for chatting when he gets it.
He prefers to go to cyber cafes for his other work.

Latha's Thatha uses it during day time when no children are around.
And watches MTV and channel {V} when lady of the house
Vishalam goes to Ambujam Mami's house next door for Oral chatting.

When Thatha is on computer in afternoons,
He searches for all naughty websites while furiously shaking his legs.

Old woman Rajammal who is his woman and wife,
has weak eyes but sharp tongue.
Always shouts from her bed when Thatha is on computer
shaking his legs rhythamatically as always.
He does the same when watching ftv when no one is at home.
(I have seen some great looking bitches with skinny
human females walking in that channel.)

As usual she will shout,
"Kaal AAtadingo"....
"Andhu paazaa ponathu Kamutaril ennathaan dino pakkaringo?"

Before she decides to come near,Thatha will stop his "Bee Dance",
reduce the website and start Yahoo which is his alibi.
When Rajammal is not looking, he will start again.

He never forgets to clear History of the pages visited.

Thatha is a very interesting man.Though his male scent is very faint,
His eyes light up when he is near young females.
He never misses to stand in the bus stand during evening walks.
In the mornings when he returns from temple in Gandhinagar he repeats his Bird watching, when young females with nice scents are going to college or work, or returning home in the evening.
He spies on all young human females who pass the road.

I think his spirit is willing but the flesh is not.

He loves to eat Pakodas and Thirunelveli Halwa.
He would take the money from daily vegetable and other
shopping trips and eat at the Grand sweets from creamed off cash..
If caught,He would have free prasadam at Grand sweets and temple
till he gets his hands in Vardhan's pocket again.
All love him but are strict with him as he sufferes from sugar and heart disease.

I know all these because I am a witness to all his doings.
Due to him, I have developed a taste for sweets and have learnt that, female pheremones of humans are almost similar to bitch's pheremones.

I can tell a human female in heat by just smell of her even if she is far away.
Of late, I think I have got addicted to
female hormone/pheromones smell. It gives me a high.

Thatha and Vardhan are two men who changed me from a
pup to a Dog faster than normal dogs
by just having seen them in action.
Actually I missed my normal puppyhood.

I know them both more than anyone.


Then there is Vardhan. Alpha Male of the house.
He is about five and half years old in Dog language.
This makes him 48 something.
Vardhan is something big in a big office. Many times I smell
some different female scent from his clothes when he comes home.
He loves to drink whisky with soda.
Though Vardhan's family is strict vegetarian,
I can smell Vardhan and tell if he had chicken or fish
during afternoon lunch meeting.
He and Thatha are very interesting people.

Vishalam is Latha's mother. Supposed to be Alpha female.
But always worried about nights.
Come evening and she starts getting ready.
She cooks and starts makeup simultaneously.
By eight pm, she is all ready. She is fair, and good looking lady
always ready to please her man. She is 46 years old. (I saw her passport)
Vardhan is a very active man
He does not miss any opportunity to mount her.
This I know because when I was a pup, I used to sleep in her room.
After growing up, Vardhan drove me away to Latha's room
after Vishalam complained,

"Indhu Taamy parkiraan. Taami ethuril Vendam."

I was driven away to Latha's room an year back.
Now almost every day, I smell a new rubber tube in the backyard garbage dump.

I don't understand why You humans make love in great secracy like Crows.
I also don't understand why you people wear clothes ?

Next lesson that I want to learn from Latha is that,
"Why we dogs are not sexually active
Like humans throughout the year?"...( Now I am thinking typically like a virgin dog.)


My first season is fast approaching.
First rains will bring new awakening in me.
I was told this by Theru Nai who is very old and lives around my house.
I have already made a checklist of eligible bitches in my area.
Of all, I think I will settle for a bitch owned by Bakery owner
who responds to name Achyut Nair.
She responds to name Julie.

Recently, Vardhan chap was telling Latha to get me castrated.
I think I will try and run away if he seriously plans that.

Last but not the least is Vardhan's second child
Vishu. He is about 2 years old in my language.
Meaning he is a young male. Soon he will become alpha male.
He studies in an engineering college.
He strongly smells of Male scent.
He and I have a love/hate relationship.
He hates me because he has to take me for a walk in the morning when I want to sh*it.
Being a strong dog, my territory is rather large and he has to walk to many
electric poles till I mark them all.
He likes me because he tells me of all his secrets and I just wag my flag in approval.
Both of us share a common bond.
Both of us are virgin males.

How can I forget Maghi ? The maid servent?
Actually she responds to sound Maghi but her name is Maheshwari. She is dark,
slim but well endowed woman who has the strongest female scent in our house.
She does the house hold work. But she cannot enter the kitchen.
She is a bit stupid in her head.
Thatha waits for Fridays.And I hate Fridays.
As always she forgets to lock the bathroom door when she has her bath .
(Actually she baths only once in a week.)]
She first bathes me with stupid Margosa soap.
After I leave the bathroom, She takes the bath.

Maghi's clothes give off three different male scents, on different days. She lives in nearby slum.
She always smells of Garlic and onion laced urine .
Believe me or not but I have often seen her urinating in standing position on the road.! That too in day time without anyone knowing.

She would just lift her cloths a little and do it while standing and
that too while talking innocently with other girls working in nearby houses.
She is more like me in doing that. Only thing is that , she does not lift a leg as I do. She lifts only the skirt a little from the front.

Then there are very interesting neighbours. But they can wait

All of us live in Adyar.



Ok humans....More later

[Nichiro]

I had to bite a fellow today.
I was angry.

He was playing Gilli Danda and as a measure of distance,
he was chanting,


Enga Oot Nai,
Pi tunna pochhi
Kallale adichha,
Kaal Odunju Pochhi.

What rubbish...

[Surya]

bow wow wow, yippie yow yippie yey. Where ma dogs at? - Lil Bow Wow.

Nice! Please let the dogs work! :P

[pavalamani pragasam]

Congrats, Nichiro! This is very interesting and truthful! And as I said before, very original and novel!

[Querida]

wow talk about realistic...
still kinda reeling from the realness
but still nicely written Nichiro
why is it that you must stop scribbles and musing of other sorts for this....cannot do both please? :D

[Nichiro]

wow talk about realistic...
still kinda reeling from the realness
:D


Bow-wow Q,

We Dogs......Sorry all animals cannot lie.
So whatever is expressed in my blog is real, and will be real.

I will try my paw at scaratching some poetry.
But now I have to make an entry at 12 Noon on my Blog.
Bow-wow till then.

Ps,

I am not using smilys because only Human faces are there and Humans LIE

[Nichiro]

Today is Mother's day.

Latha told me in the morning.

I feel sad....

I remember my mom. Such a tame female.

She had never bitten me eventhough I had bitten her already empty dry T*its when milk won't come when about a month old.

I think I will risk going beyond my boundry to locate her.
.
I will look somewhere near Andhra Mahila Sabha beyond the bridge.


Funny thing happened today.

I was sitting out side near Thatha's room, Vardhan went there . He generally never goes in the room unless there is an emergency.

But Vardhan went to his Mother's room today after taking bath.

He bent and told his mom,

"Amma...Ashirwadam Pannugo"

"Innada Vardhu, Innikku enna Pudhusha Kaale thotte?

Aaffisil pramoshun kadchhudha?" Old Mom asked.

"Ille Ma, innikku "MOTHER'S DAY."

"Appadi na Ennada?" Rajammal asked

"Err..Amma Ninaivu Naal..."Vardhan blurted.

"Enda..paavi, Naan innum uyirode dhanne irrukken?

En devashyam kondadriya?" old Lady was furious.


Thatha burst out laughing and Latha when she heard this,

laughed so much that she had tears in her eyes.

For me, it was sad. I was trying to recollect all those 30

days of my life with her.

[NM]

Nichiro, very good :thumbsup: A big Bow Wow to you!!
Funny, true and interesting to read... :D :D
More to come?? Soon it will be Father's day. Wonder what tommy has to say to this :idea: .....!! :wink:

[Badri]

Nichiro!!!

Amazing!!!!

Excellent work! What a novel idea! Yes, how different the world would seem in the eyes of a Tommy!

keep it going!

[Nichiro]

Bow wow people,


Cesar Milan, a dog lover says,

"Dogs give us so much, yet what do we really give them?
A place to sleep...food...affection...but is that enough?
They are so pure and unselfish in sharing their lives
with us; can't we take a deeper look inside their heart
and minds,to find out what they really want?"



Tommy says,

It's time you humans started knowing more about us Dogs.

Whatever you have known so far has been written by humans who

claim to understand canine mind.

Some are right and most are wrong.

From time to time, I will teach you things you must know to understand and be with dogs.


First lesson in Training Humans about understanding US (Dogs)starts from today.


Doggy Lesson # 1


Subject : DOG PSYCHOLOGY


Always remember the following once for all rules and obey

without questioning.



GOLDEN CANINE RULES

If I like it, it's mine.

If it's in my mouth, it's mine.

If I can take it from you, it's mine.

If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.

If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.

If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.

If it just looks mine, it's mine.

If you are playing with something and you put it down, it

automatically becomes mine.

If it's broken, it's yours.



Doggy Lesson # 2 (Facts You Should Know About Dogs)


Dogs licks are actually touches.

Dogs have super human minds.

Dogs link their minds with you at will without your being aware.

Dogs can make you do things that Dogs want you to do.

They have a very very long memory but their data bank

is very large so recall takes some time sometimes.

Dogs do not get angry. They just react.

Humans do not own dogs, Dogs actually accept them as one of them.

Dogs are the only true friends a man can have. They never cheat.

Humans expect too much from dogs but give back so little.

Dogs will always be dogs. It is only humans who become dogs, cats, pigs,

Hyenas,tigers, Donkeys or Lions or Mice.

Canine psychology is very simple. So it may take time for you people to understand dogs.



Thank you net for some info...slurp...slurp

[Nichiro]

Hello People,

Today has been a sad day for me.Some times I ask a question to myself,

"Am I in right company of humans?

Why I feel that way? Please read the following.


BLOG OF A DOG.

Today whole day I have been following the news about a college girl
in Delhi who was kidnapped and gang raped by 6 people in moving van.

How despicable !!


Last week it was a policeman in Bombay who repetadly raped a college girl in his chowki in Broad daylight.!!

Last week, a woman was gang raped in Bangalore by six people who kidnapped her in a taxi.


We dogs never force ourselves on any female who is not in heat.

We never rape minor females, old female and young females .

We do not resort to rape.

We try to win her by establishing our power among suitors.

We never injure a female in the process .

Every six minutes, a human female is raped in India. !!

I fail to understand which is JUNGLE LAW ?

What you have in human's society in cities is Civil Law ?

In jungle, animals do not rape a female.

So Jungle law or Law of the Jungle is safer and better.


Latha was also sad. She told me,

"Tommy, your society is better"

I think we should have the following saying in our Doggy language,

"Oru pombale pathittu avan Manshanaa Maarittan"
(You say Avan Mirugama Marittan)

Yesterday I was musing that I am going to ask Latha as to why we dogs

are not sexually active throughout the year like humans?

Now I think I am not going to find out.

We Dogs do not want to become humans.

[Nichiro]

Bow wow Pavazamani Madam,

I think you are partial only to Human postings.
I have been waiting for two days with my tongue lolling,
Sitting on my hind legs and wagging my tail off
to hear encouragement from friend of Caesar the dog who adopted you.

Try keeping your tongue out for even thirty minutes , or shake your behind for 30 minutes and you will know how it feels.
I have not yet bow wowed about disappointment part yet.

Same thing goes to other humans.
If you want a dog to tell his story, you will need to reward him for all his good scratching.

One paw salute to all you friends.

Tommy

[pavalamani pragasam]

Tommy, didnt I already tell you how interesting & truthful your bow-wow's are? It is utterly down-to-earth, no frills, no fanfare like the tales of human beings. Without extra fittings, exaggerations, the stark truth, truth & only truth has all the charms a doggy tale can have! The stunning accuracy, the shrewd mind-reading, the unhypocritical frankness of narration make me come back straining to hear the bow-wow!

[Querida]

my my then we will have to spoil this puppy silly
well our Tommy what do you say of cats? Can you please give some thought to this and include your pov when you please?

[Nichiro]

Hi Q,

Bow wow,

A Cat is not men's best friend.
A Cat is not anybody's friend.
A cat is not capable of being anybody's friend
Man is the only friend a cat may have.
Cats are selfish.
They take
Dogs give.

Bow wow

Tommy

[pavalamani pragasam]

It is popular belief that cats dislike to have children in the house because all milk and good food will be eaten up by them; on the other hand, dogs love to have children in the house because children are bound to keep leftovers in their plate which are sure to find their way to the dog's bowl. So sensible adults prefer to grow dogs rather than cats as pets!

[Nichiro]

Bow wow PP madam,

Cats cannot express happiness.
When we are happy, we wave our flag.(Tail)
When cats do so, it means be ready to attack.

We like to share food with children. Either they eat from our plate or we do from their.(Mostly 2nd option is preferred....( LOL)

You wrote,

"So sensible adults prefer to grow dogs rather than cats as pets!"

sob...sob....you consider us at pets?

I thought we are your best friends.......cry...whine...howl...protest

[pavalamani pragasam]

OK, OK, Tommy, don't feel bad! We are good friends, ain't we? You are my best friend in the world. With who else can I confide my thoughts with such freedom & joy? You understand not only the words I utter, but even the thoughts running in my mind. There is no living creature to beat your intuitive understanding. You know when I am happy, when sad, when angry & you behave accordingly with perfect discretion. My intelligent friend, continue with your goodnatured, wise bowwows!

[Nichiro]

Thanks PP Ma,

Today's blog entry is another protest.
From the day I started understanding human language of Tamiz, and understanding cinemas, I have come to dislike one supposed to be a comedian who almost always , co-stars with Senthil.
His name is GOUNDER MANI.

In almost every dialogue he barks (He never speaks), he includes phrases like, Aiy Naaye, poda Naaye, Sori Naaye etc in the most derogetory fashion. I always feel pained when I see a movie in which he acts.
Can any human reading this blog entry please inform him not to do so?
Or else I'll have to resort to calling animals and dogs who are bad as "Poda Gounder Maniye" "Aiy Sori Gounder Maniye" etc.

Today was some pooja in the house.
So every one was busy. I was sent downstairs under the stairs place which is a cool shady corner.
Had Payasam and poories.
I will scratch more tomorrow.
One paw salute to friends.

Tommy

[Badri]

We like to share food with children. Either they eat from our plate or we do from their.(Mostly 2nd option is preferred....( LOL)

LOL, Tommy? Since when have dogs begun to laugh? Looks like you've come a long way in evolution since you started scratching your blog!

Remember you scratched in your first blog:


My blog will have some of the most hilarious situations you humans will enjoy. Sorry we Dogs cannot laugh. For that matter none of the animals can.

If only little doggies knew creating a blog would take them up the evolutionary ladder in great leaps, they'd have started a long time ago!

:lol:

I can LOL, and use a smiley too! After all, I'm human, right? :wink:

[Nichiro]

Grrrrrrrr Badri,

I thought you would understand this dog atleast.

"LOL" you mentioned is a PROMPT COMMAND for humans to exercise their lungs.
It means "Laugh out Loud"

I stick to my wags and slurps.

Yes, I get into people's brains and switch to any mode I like.
Now Nichiro is pounding away on his keyboard...Poor chap .
He has no other go till I decide to leave him alone.

You humans took ages to evolve both mentally and intellectually.
whereas ,We can devolve to reach down to your level so that you
can catch up.

Tommy

Please don't ask me ,
"why mentally and intellectually? They do not denote same thing"

[NM]

Tommy!! where are you??

Little Husky, the Poodle, is looking for you......
And Masie, the nextdoor cat has been waiting to claw your eyes out for chasing her the other day!! :wink: :wink:

A big Bow Wow to you, from your friend, Jackie, the german shepherd, who lives down the road and eargerly waiting at the gate to catch a glimpse of your handsome face...! :wink: :wink:

[Nichiro]

Bow wow NM,

Pant...pant...pant....The heat of Medras Nalla Medras is getting under my skin.
Most of the time I laze under the bed of Grand old lady of the house because it is the coolest room.

Thatha is now a days silent and is lost in some old diaries and photographs.

I feel too lazy to do anything.
If one rain comes, I will feel better.
Believe me but Thatha too goes out only in the evenings.
Tanneer...Tanneer is what people ar crying now.
AMMA...AMMAA...Send Cauvery water to Adyar .

Dogmatix

(My pen name is DOGMATIX.)

[tomato]

There there Tommy.
Come here, have a bowl of milk to refresh youself.

Hey I'm really enjoying your bowwows. And I like you too, thats because you are virtual. If I see you in person(is there a better word) I'll freeze on the spot coz I'm really scared of your kind. Any tips Tommy to overcome my fear?

[Nichiro]

Bow wow Tomato,

Never be afraid of Man's best friends.

When you are approached by my kind, follow the following things.

1) Keep your hands down by your sides.

2) stand still and look in His/her eyes.

2) Do not show fear. Because, when you are afraid, we dogs can smell change in you.

3) you are identified as an enemy. if you are afraid. Your smell changes.

4) Never try to run away and show your back.

5) Try to bring your finger together and make an offering gesture. This is what makes us happy.

6) Make sounds of welcome like, Hello...etc and keep your eyes smiling showing widened lips.

7) Never make a mistake of showing your teeth when doing so.
We show teeth only when angry and about to attack.

8.) Never shout or scream if approached by us Dogs.Keep 8)

We just want to check you out when we approach you.

Worst that can happen, If you stand still is, You are treated as A LAMP POST.

I hope now you will follow the above and show dogs that you love them.

Dogmatix

[tomato]

Thank you Tommy, I hope I remember your advice when I come across one of your friends next time. Pls continue with your bow wows.

[Nichiro]

Hello People,

My head is spinning and I am in a fix.
Remember I wrote that Thatha is lost in album and diaries?
Today whole day I was with him listening to something most unexpected from him.
For the first time, his seeming foolish actions showed a serious motive.
The biggest jolt came when he told me that He had retired as Brigadier from Indian Army and he showed me his uniform and photographs.
But it is what he narrated will take your breath away.
I will slowly scratch the whole story(I mean stories) in the blog during comeing days.

For the first time, I think I have come across a BEATIFUL HUMAN.And he is so kind to the core.

Dogmatix

[hehehewalrus]

hmmm...what could have been a tribute to man's best friend has been reduced to a work of Freud.

Pls dont jump on me like a ton of bricks and call it 'natural', 'cold reality' blah blah and blah. You are supposed to look thru the eyes of a dog.

Animals are not so obsessed with the flesh and mating all the time as humans are. In fact not even 10% of humans.

Just my 2 cents

[Nichiro]

hmmm...what could have been a tribute to man's best friend has been reduced to a work of Freud.

Pls dont jump on me like a ton of bricks and call it 'natural', 'cold reality' blah blah and blah. You are supposed to look thru the eyes of a dog.

Animals are not so obsessed with the flesh and mating all the time as humans are. In fact not even 10% of humans.




Dogs are less obsessed about mating than BEACH MASTER walruses. Walruses are known to cause death of rival males.
They have over 100 cows in their herd. Have you ever seen a dog killing another for mating ?And also virtually imprisoning 100 cows ?


Have you noticed that everything about beachmasters is large (except their brain which is small compared to their bodysize).?
They are so frenzied during mating season that they crush early calves and kill them by their sheer weight.

And what makes you think that my blog is obsessed with mating ?
I am approaching my first season of mating and only that fact is jotted down by me. On the other hand you humans are forever obsessed with sex all the time.


As a pseudo-intellectual human, Your views are good for humans only.

I give below meaning of what a pseudo intellectual is,

QUOTE,


pseudo- or pseud- pref. 1. False; deceptive; sham. 2. Apparently similar.
in\tel\lec\tu\al adj. 1.a. Of or relating to the intellect. b. Rational rather than emotional. 2. Appealing to or engaging the intellect. 3.a. Having or showing intellect, especially to a high degree. b. Given to exercise of the intellect; inclined toward abstract thinking about aesthetic or philosophical subjects. --in\tel\lec\tu\al n. An intellectual person.

They'll pontificate upon every subject as if they were an expert in the field, regardless of actual knowledge. These are the guys (yes, they're 99.44% male) who will tell actual experts how wrong they are about geology, paleontology, cosmology, and every other natural science. Just think "Young-Earth Creationist" and you have an excellent example.

UNQUOTE.

Bow wow and grrrrrrrrr to you.

Dogmatix

[Nichiro]

I had to post a reply much against my wishes.
There will no more be postings by me.

[shreya23]

hi
certain parts of your blog was really funny to read ! :D
tommy pls continue writing

[Nichiro]

hi
certain parts of your blog was really funny to read ! :D
tommy pls continue writing


Shreya,

Slurrrp,slurrrp, slurrrrp....!!
wag....wag....wag..

(My form of Thanx)

Tommy

[shreya23]

tommy pls continue writing
shreya