Couple of reasons why you should'nt take Dowry

[kickboxer]

Dowry is something accepted by spineless men, I don't know why most Indian men accept it in spite of all the problems Dowry has caused in this society. Here are couple of reasons why you should'nt accept dowry.

1. First of all, It is against the Law. If you are caught with evidence, you will spend a lot of years in prison.

2. By accepting Dowry, you will become a part of a tradition that has killed so many women, children and even unborn babies, and you will help to keep this tradition alive.

3. The woman that you marry will not have any real respect for you, as she knows that you are a spineless coward.

4. Accepting Dowry is against all religions, as prostitution is against all religions. Dowry is nothing but prostitution, the only difference is that the man accepts money here.

MY ADVICE:

TO MEN:
Please have the courage to oppose your parents atleast in this matter and be real men.

Marry a woman who's parents cannot afford to pay dowry. By doing that, you might save someone who otherwise could become a victim.

TO WOMEN:
If you think your parents cannot afford to pay Dowry, get a boyfriend while you are in college and don't wait for your parents to look for a guy for you.

[visu]

I think this thread is discussed long time back.

[Shekhar]

I will give you a couple of reasons why you should take dowry!! :D :D

1. Marriage is a gamble. At least the dowry is a guranteed money!

2. Paid slavery is better than unpaid one!!

3. It is solace in hard times (especially saturday nights when you come late) that it was not all for nothing!!!

4. Keep it in a bank, it has compensatory growth to offset growth of wife in size.
:lol: :lol: :lol:

[jaiganes]

Shekhar :rotfl: :lol:
Dangerous jokes man!!!
No wonder, the females in the hub are reaching for the fire gun whenever they see u!!! :wink: :rotfl:

[Badri]

JG: You call those jokes, because you aint married yet...

Others like Shekhar would, I am sure, prefer to call it, reality!

[scorpio]

Does this 'others like shekhar' include the Obelix too?? :wink:

[Badri]

Some words are better left unsaid, Akka....and some names are better left unnamed! :wink:

Anyway, before we digress from the topic too much, did you know that initially, the men paid a dowry to get the bride?

I guess the Masai people still do!

[swathy]

I dunno how these girls can love someone by paying something to him.

[Shekhar]

I dunno how these girls can love someone by paying something to him.

Do girls pay dowry to marry to love the husband?!! That's a news to me!!. :roll:

Hey!! that's a good idea!! Girls who fall in love should pay!! :lol:
But unfortunately, for a boy, falling in love is very expensive.. Firstly without a nice vehicle and nice expensive clothes, no girl will fall for him. And when he gets a girl, it is daily expenditure, entertaining her and many times her friends as well :cry: :wink: :) The fellow should not even think of falling in love unless his purse is big!! :lol: And the worst part is if you love and marry you won't get dowry!! :) :lol:

[dev]

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: So Funny ...

[a.ratchasi]

But unfortunately, for a boy, falling in love is very expensive.. Firstly without a nice vehicle and nice expensive clothes, no girl will fall for him. And when he gets a girl, it is daily expenditure, entertaining her and many times her friends as well :cry: :wink: :) The fellow should not even think of falling in love unless his purse is big!! :lol:


When the quality of any given product is good, buyers would be eagerly waiting to get hold of it. For low quality products?.....You have to throw in as many freebies as possible in order to make it attractive (??well, atleast the assets are :lol: :lol:) and saleable!

The same is applicable here! :wink: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[dev]

--

[scorpio]

a.r,

enna solla varrenga?? Unga statement padi paarthal 99% of men have to give away dowry to sell themselves, correct? :lol:

[dev]

Scorpio,

Athula ungaluku enna santhegam???!!!... :wink: :lol:

[scorpio]

chumma oru re-confirmation-kku thaan dev.. wonder what our male batallion needs to say on this! :lol:

[dev]

:lol:

[a.ratchasi]

a.r,

enna solla varrenga?? Unga statement padi paarthal 99% of men have to give away dowry to sell themselves, correct? :lol:

It's more for the nenappu pudiche males who think that they are simply gorgeous and to die for when the reality is....hmmmm....well, you know :wink: :lol:!They expect the girls to fall at their feet the moment they put in the application. Not having the faintest idea of the fact that they...again you know what :wink: :lol: :lol:

[visu]

Ada koka makka! :shock:

So far i thought of not getting dowry when i marry.

After reading your comments it seems that men are going to be "pothee maadu" after marriage. So it's better to get dowry.


NOTE:- Still am wonder how many of girls would really appreciate men not accepting dowry. Ground reality is different.

[visu]

a.r,

enna solla varrenga?? Unga statement padi paarthal 99% of men have to give away dowry to sell themselves, correct? :lol:

It's more for the nenappu pudiche males who think that they are simply gorgeous and to die for when the reality is....hmmmm....well, you know :wink: :lol:!They expect the girls to fall at their feet the moment they put in the application. Not having the faintest idea of the fact that they...again you know what :wink: :lol: :lol:

Amma thaikulangale!
The real beauty of a person is his/her own personality. Nowadays who cares that!

Scorpio akko! unga statement padi paarthaal oru payalukkum kalyanam aakathu. Palani muruganuku kaavadi thooka vaendiyathuthaan.(Arokara Arokara). :lol:

[dev]

After reading your comments it seems that men are going to be "pothee maadu" after marriage. So it's better to get dowry.


:banghead:


NOTE:- Still am wonder how many of girls would really appreciate men not accepting dowry. Ground reality is different.

True to a certain extent...I've seen a few girls who wanted to make the most out of marriage...buying all kinds of jewels & sarees etc etc (more than what they actually require)from their parent's money... I used to wonder how a girl can be so very selfish...that too trying to 'karanthufy' whatever they can from their own parents... :banghead:

[Querida]

And the worst part is if you love and marry you won't get dowry!!

that's just it the guy who says ma? what ma? No one can stop me! I love only you :roll: (ewwwwww) anyways when he has to tie the knot...all of a sudden it's ma wants this so badly...got to respect our elders and so on...so shell it out baby i'm worth it! :lol:

anyways Visu i don't know why gurls wouldn't respect guys for no dowry....why wouldn't they?...by not demanding money they are less of a man? Besides all the vicious rumours by others that there's "something" wrong with him...or parents caught him fooling around...and are desperate to marry him off...that's why they want no dowry....besides all that rubbish why wouldn't one respect such a man?

what should be a sensible investment to the future has caused so much trouble...i say make both parents pay... :twisted:

[visu]

Querida!
You stated the most obivious reasons. Besides that Dowry is nowadays more of a prestige issue to the bride's side. They want to show themselves infront of their relatives. In such situations they will force to accept big fat dowry.

But its cruel to compel bride's side when they can't afford dowry. couple of my relatives, married girls without dowry(before 20 years). To their horror those ammani's turned very very fuzzy ,constantly taunting Poor MILs&FILs,screaming at hubbies. Fate has different answers even when we are 100% nice. As shekar said marriage is a gamble .Everybody can play the game.But few manage to hit rummy.

[kickboxer]

Fate has different answers even when we are 100% nice


kadamaiai sei palanai ethir paraathae!
(do your duty and dont expect anything in return)

[Querida]

For real Visu? wow i never would have thought so...!
Well i guess if the marriage is arranged you kinda know what you're getting in terms but it's the independent marriages who ask for dowry that really burns me up...i would love if every gurl could give a real talking to like in Lajja with Mahima Chaudry anyways Shekhar and other knotted hubbers would know better than me about this reality so don't take it seriously when im just kidding around :D

[suressh]

:)

// i say make both parents pay... :twisted://

- getting settled before marriage - does that apply only for guys...? why should always parents has to pay for the marriages and why not the bride and the grooms themselves? :?

:)

[dev]

Suressh,

:thumbsup: :clap:

[Shekhar]

:)

// i say make both parents pay... :twisted://

- getting settled before marriage - does that apply only for guys...? why should always parents has to pay for the marriages and why not the bride and the grooms themselves? :? :)

Bride and the grooms themselves? Make it groom only!! :lol:

When I got married, we intimated our parents of our marriage almost after a week, knowing their opposition. I saw my parents after two years after my son was born. My wife went to her house at the death of her father. So no money from parents!! :wink:
From bride and groom?! My wife was/is not working. Infact she hardly works even at home!! :lol: :lol: So I had to shell down from my precious pocket even for my marriage expense. It is all my mother's fault. She must have dropped me on my head when I was a child!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

[nirosha sen]

Oh fret not, dear Shekhar!! It's hats off to men like you, who don't burden parents for anything, Pa!!

Same here, no money from parents!! Just my better half's and my savings!! We spent A - Z on everything and neither richer nor poorer for the experience, monetarily that is!!

Certainly, the experience took its toll when you run around to do everything!! :wink: At the end of the day, our pride stuck!!

[Querida]

Oh geez i was just kidding! hence the evil emoticon.... :lol: like our parents dont spend enough on their kids! Like Nirosha said better the groom and bride shell out cause the case nowadays they both work anyways and also it's easier to go overboard when you're not paying....if you're the ones paying you'll think more carefully on stuff that ends up turning weddings into a tacky joke... :roll:

[visu]

Bride and the grooms themselves? Make it groom only!! :lol:

When I got married, we intimated our parents of our marriage almost after a week, knowing their opposition. I saw my parents after two years after my son was born. My wife went to her house at the death of her father. So no money from parents!! :wink:
From bride and groom?! My wife was/is not working. Infact she hardly works even at home!! :lol: :lol: So I had to shell down from my precious pocket even for my marriage expense. It is all my mother's fault. She must have dropped me on my head when I was a child!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Thalai! ungaluku romba periya manasu!

Umm... The marriages are getting westernized too. I seriously doubt what fun we will have when we arrange by ourselves . Inviting parents as Guests like in west. :cry:

[hehehewalrus]

Umm... The marriages are getting westernized too. I seriously doubt what fun we will have when we arrange by ourselves . Inviting parents as Guests like in west. :cry:

Visu, whats wrong with you?
If your parents arrange it, kanda kanda kezhaboltu kaala ellaam vizhundhu aasirvaadham vanganum. Mudhugu kalndu poirum.
Nammala nadathikitta "Perisu, vandhama, moi vechama, saptama-nu irukanum, kaal-thottings ellaam expect pannadhey"-nu orey poda potarlaam ;)

Not to be taken literally of course :D

[pavalamani pragasam]

hehewalrus, your argument is saddening! First of all there are many communities which dont have the prostrating for blessing custom. Secondly the venturesome youth can put the condition of leaving out the custom -beforehand to the elders, cant they? Why drive out the poor parents to the "guest" status? Dont they deserve better? Think! With more consideration!

[dev]

Guess this thread should be renamed to " Couple of reasons why U should take dowry"... :lol:

[hehehewalrus]

hi PP, my statement was made in 100% jest !!! I am actually an old fashioned sage whose mind is still stuck in the '1st battle of Panipat' era :lol2:

[nirosha sen]

:lol: Aiyo Pa! I absolutely agree with all the old-fashioned customs of the Indian marriage. But what can one do, when one's parents are both dead?? Do we curl up and die too, or say Up Man Try???

That's precisely what my husband and I decided for ourselves. Anyway, his parents were both living overseas and yes, they both came down to officiate the wedding. But all the work in booking halls, registration by law, caterers, etc., naturally fell on our combined robust shoulders!!

We are certainly none the worse for wear!! :wink:

[Shekhar]

So all of you say I was wrong.
But I have no regrets. I have chosen my partner and it is my life. Right or wrong it is my decision and I have maturity to take responisbility for my decisions.
But to presume that chosing my partner, in any way indicate that I had no respect for my parents or that I didn't care is completely wrong. It was they who chose to shut me off. Between caste and son, they chose caste. It was their decision and they are responsible for it.
Looking back, the whole thing sounds so absurd. My wife became more close with my mother than with me. Any little issue she would run to my mother and I had to hear sermons and admonitions from my mother.
Now both my parents are dead. My self and my parents, both lost 3 years of mutual relationship. Should I carry the guilt? I refuse to do so.

[visu]

Visu, whats wrong with you?
If your parents arrange it, kanda kanda kezhaboltu kaala ellaam vizhundhu aasirvaadham vanganum. Mudhugu kalndu poirum.
Nammala nadathikitta "Perisu, vandhama, moi vechama, saptama-nu irukanum, kaal-thottings ellaam expect pannadhey"-nu orey poda potarlaam ;)

Not to be taken literally of course :D

Walrus brother!
In our place elders give "moi" only after falling at their feet. :)

[Querida]

So all of you say I was wrong.
But I have no regrets. I have chosen my partner and it is my life. Right or wrong it is my decision and I have maturity to take responisbility for my decisions.
But to presume that chosing my partner, in any way indicate that I had no respect for my parents or that I didn't care is completely wrong. It was they who chose to shut me off. Between caste and son, they chose caste. It was their decision and they are responsible for it.
Looking back, the whole thing sounds so absurd. My wife became more close with my mother than with me. Any little issue she would run to my mother and I had to hear sermons and admonitions from my mother.
Now both my parents are dead. My self and my parents, both lost 3 years of mutual relationship. Should I carry the guilt? I refuse to do so.

you really meant 'everyone'?
what does your comment have to do with dowry?
Ok so you chose your partner are you saying you have just a 'right' as every other arranged guy to ask for dowry?
If they give it freely and are not in terrible debt because of it and it does not include wedding expenses(in your case) what's wrong with that?
Who can say what you did was right or wrong? It's your life, you made a choice,you had responsibility, you have no regrets...so that's good!

[Shekhar]

you really meant 'everyone'?
what does your comment have to do with dowry?
Ok so you chose your partner are you saying you have just a 'right' as every other arranged guy to ask for dowry?
If they give it freely and are not in terrible debt because of it and it does not include wedding expenses(in your case) what's wrong with that?

My God! what a miscommunication! My comment was in response to censure on 'Westernised marriage, where parents are invited as guests', and leaning towards old cultural style marriage. I have objection to neither. It was a response mainly to PP Mam's comment and other's response to PP mam's comment.
Regarding my views on dowry, if you haven't perceived it what can I do. I thought it wouldn't be difficult for anybody to understand the difference between what I say in light humour, and what I believe.

[hehehewalrus]

Walrus brother!
In our place elders give "moi" only after falling at their feet. :)

Unga area-la Ushaar partygal rombave jaasthi :cry:

[Roshan]

So all of you say I was wrong.

No Shekhar you are absolutely right and you have once again proved that you are a Gentleman. I really appreciate you for not giving up your love in the name of caste and creed. Hats off to you :thumbsup:


Between caste and son, they chose caste. It was their decision and they are responsible for it.

Absoulutely yes !!


Looking back, the whole thing sounds so absurd.
My wife became more close with my mother than with me. Any little issue she would run to my mother and I had to hear sermons and admonitions from my mother.

These absurdities are very common. Just because they are parents it doesnt mean everything they do or think is correct . I have seen parents making absurd and wrong decisions - specially regarding their children's marriage and ruining their whole life.


Now both my parents are dead. My self and my parents, both lost 3 years of mutual relationship. Should I carry the guilt? .

You dont have to ! Just be proud of yourself !

[a.ratchasi]

Walrus brother!
In our place elders give "moi" only after falling at their feet. :)

Unga area-la Ushaar partygal rombave jaasthi :cry:

Ange mattum illai ingeyum taan! :lol:

[Querida]

My God! what a miscommunication! My comment was in response to censure on 'Westernised marriage, where parents are invited as guests', and leaning towards old cultural style marriage. I have objection to neither. It was a response mainly to PP Mam's comment and other's response to PP mam's comment.
Regarding my views on dowry, if you haven't perceived it what can I do. I thought it wouldn't be difficult for anybody to understand the difference between what I say in light humour, and what I believe.

Thank you for that clarification i thought i did understand what you believed until i read this post....anyways maybe you can quote the pertaining passages so you know the gurls can understand what you're saying...all that extra typing and thinking left me speechless....for about a second too long :P

[Badri]

Did a bit of research on the dowry concept! It is amazing why the concept came about!!!

The Manu Dharma Shastras declare that there are 7 forms of wedding - Brahma, Daiva, Arsha, Rakshasa, Paisacha, Gandharva etc.

Some like Gandharva is your typical love marriages where the man and woman enter into the agreement and get married. It is absolutely legit and sanctioned by the sastras, no matter what parents might say or feel about it.

But of the seven, only 4 are legal, the other 3 considered unlawful or barbaric. One is when the woman is drugged or asleep, and the man marries her or ravishes her. This is declared inhuman and barbaric and rightly so. The other is when the groom gives money to the girl's parents or guardians and takes a bride. This has been declared illegal, as it is akin to prostituion. In fact, the Manu shastra condemns it saying it is selling the daughter for money. To dissuade greedy fathers from selling their daughters for wealth, they law makers of the day said the best marriage was when the girl's father approaches the groom after carefully examining his credentials and then offers the girl along with jewelry for her.

This way, selling the daughter was totally abolished. So, dowry started off as a good enough concept intended to protect the woman, but turned ugly thanks to the greed of men, like all other good things!

[a.ratchasi]

Badri, just a small correction. There are eight types of marriages, not seven.

Rite of Brahmana (Brahma) - where the father of the bride invites a man learned in the Vedas and a good conduct, and gives his daughter in marriage to him after decking her with jewels and costly garments.

Rite of the Gods (Daiva) - where the daughter is groomed with ornaments and given to a priest who duly officiates at a sacrifice during the course of its performance of this rite.

Rite of the Rishis (Arsha) - when the father gives away his daughter after receiving a cow and a bull from the bridegroom.

Rite of the Prajapati - (Prajapatya) where the father gives away his daughter after blessing the couple with the text "May both of you perform together your duties"

Rite of the Asuras (Demons) - when the bridegroom receives a maiden after bestowing wealth to the kinsmen and to the bride according to his own will.

Rite of the Gandharva - the voluntary union of a maiden and her lover, which arises from desire and sexual intercourse for its purpose.

Rite of the Rakshasa - forcible abduction of a maiden from her home after her kinsmen have been slain or wounded and their houses broken open.

Rite of the Pisaka - when a man by stealth seduces a girl who is sleeping or intoxicated or is mentally imbalanced or handicapped.

[hehehewalrus]

Ange mattum illai ingeyum taan! :lol:

Alrite then, bend as frequently as possible - spinal cord surgery is costly these days :P

[Badri]

AR: I stand corrected! Thank you for posting the information.

Just to add, there have been debates about the Arsha method

Rite of the Rishis (Arsha) - when the father gives away his daughter after receiving a cow and a bull from the brightgroom.

But the lawmakers stated that this was not akin to selling, as the cow and bull were given only for conducting sacrificial rites, and this was more a gift.

[scorpio]

ratchasi,

the concept of Prajapati marriage is simple and good. Had it been practised as a routine, killing of girl babies wouldn't have become true at all.

Anyway, my vote is for Rite of the demons only.. :wink:

[Badri]

Akka: It is the Asura marriage which was banned, as it led to sale of women!

Surprising that you prefer that!!!


The three banned marriages are

Rite of the Asuras (Demons) - when the bridegroom receives a maiden after bestowing wealth to the kinsmen and to the bride according to his own will.

Rite of the Rakshasa - forcible abduction of a maiden from her home after her kinsmen have been slain or wounded and their houses broken open.

Rite of the Pisaka - when a man by stealth seduces a girl who is sleeping or intoxicated or is mentally imbalanced or handicapped.

The fact that the three were banned shows how much women were actually respected in the past, contrary to all popular beliefs, as each of these three violate the right of a woman either by force, fraud or bribery.

[scorpio]

Badri thambi,

That was on a light note , as I have 2 daughters you see.. :wink:

[Querida]

thanx to Badri and A.R. for those interesting posts....seriously u do learn something new everyday!

Some like Gandharva is your typical love marriages where the man and woman enter into the agreement and get married. It is absolutely legit and sanctioned by the sastras, no matter what parents might say or feel about it. (this here is gold :wink: :lol: )

Anyways when the father gives away his daughter after receiving a cow and a bull from the bridegroom. Is that like to keep them company until the grandchildren come along or something? :P

Were there any laws as if there needs to be dowry given to those who are widowed or involved with another person previously or even raped? How about when siblings from one marriage (sis and bro) marry another sis and bro will dowry still be necessary?

(sorry for tangent - one thing keeps bugging me please tell me that it is just in the movies where guy wants to marry gurl already involved and deeply in love with another guy......why the hell would he want to do that!?! Just for dowry? :shock: )

[Badri]

Badri thambi,

That was on a light note , as I have 2 daughters you see.. :wink:

Yup, I know. I thought that was why you favored that rite!! :lol:

The me is just joking too!

[a.ratchasi]

Ange mattum illai ingeyum taan! :lol:
Alrite then, bend as frequently as possible - spinal cord surgery is costly these days :P
Walrus, I trust you are saying this out of experince! :lol:


ratchasi,
the concept of Prajapati marriage is simple and good. Had it been practised as a routine, killing of girl babies wouldn't have become true at all
If only, scorpio, if only!


Anyway, my vote is for Rite of the demons only..
Hahaha...hitting two mangoes with a single stone eh? :wink:


Anyways when the father gives away his daughter after receiving a cow and a bull from the bridegroom. Is that like to keep them company until the grandchildren come along or something?
Q, only you can come up with something as amusing as that! :thumbsup:

[a.ratchasi]

I was watching a debate yesterday and found out that the tying of Thaali is infact part of a relatively recent adaptation of the Tamil wedding ceremony. Tamils did not have a marriage ritual. Instead, anouncements are made to immediate families mentioning that so and so has joined hands. This, however was taken advantage by unscrupulous males who started to desert their wifes by mere mention of "what proof have you got to say that I am your husband". Thus, Thaali was introduced to safeguard the marital rights of women.

Interesting...

[Badri]

That is interesting, AR. but when you say recent, how recent is this recent?

From all accounts, women seemed to regard the "thali" as the most sacred ornament that should not be removed for any reason, a concept that has at least been popularised by a plethora of Tamizh films, at any rate.

But I don't think there is any such concept in North Indian marriages, is there? Maybe there men did not desert their wives as easily as they did in the South, and hence here they required an insurance against such a thing in the form of a thali?

[a.ratchasi]

Actually, Badri, I too am curious to know more about this 'revelation'.

Though, I have to disagree with your Thaali sentiments based on Tamil movies. :) It amused me to know that the very Thaali which is now perceived as a symbol of modern day 'slavery' was in fact applied in the good interest of the wedded maiden only.

[dev]

From all accounts, women seemed to regard the "thali" as the most sacred ornament that should not be removed for any reason,

:roll: :lol: Yes...I was so surprised to see this sentiment among my friends once they got married... I couldn't believe it when one of my friend who didn't have much sentiments & superstitions told me that we shouldn't take off the thali whatever the reason be... & the funniest part is that thali is a prestige symbol...so they usually buy thalis weiging 60-100 gms & they expect us to wear such a heavy things 24/7...365 days a yr... :banghead:

[Querida]

:roll: oh puhleeese with all this thali sentiment...what's the use of a thali if the union it represents is like a living hell? the only good thing a thali will do is pull you down faster when you have a noose around your neck :x

[lordstanher]

:roll: oh puhleeese with all this thali sentiment...what's the use of a thali if the union it represents is like a living hell? the only good thing a thali will do is pull you down faster when you have a noose around your neck :x

Every religion I know of requires ppl. to possess some mark/s of marriage or the other, apparently as a proof of the marriage being legitimate and/or as safeguarding of modesty in case of women, more than nething else. Tat the marriage it represents might eventually turn out to be hell or heaven is a diff. issue! :wink:
Just like for eg. Christian/Muslim women wear wedding rings, so in Hinduism the Thaali (& also red bottu/kumkumum, metti etc.....:D )....
But in other religions, even men r required to wear the wedding ring.....most unfortunately in Hinduism, they r not known to wear ne thing tat denotes they r married, unlike women, except maybe 4 certain castes......note: I know its strictly taboo to bring religion/caste into discussion here but I'm not intending to create ne casteist bias/disharmony/offence here by discussing this issue here.
I merely wish to emphasise on this to put forward a point- most of u will know tat among a few certain castes in Hinduism, men r always required to wear a length of collective strands of thread (called poonel)......now for men who r unmarried, the poonel consists of 3 strands (brahmachari poonel).....and after marriage they hav to wear a thicker poonel w/ 4 strands, to indicate tat they r married....
so the good thing in this case is tat even the men r always required to wear a mark of marriage and not the women alone! :wink:
Thus I feel tat this particular custom is fair enuff to women in our religion who r compulsorily made to wear the thaali around their necks!
So, w/out relating to casteism, I feel tat if all communities in Hinduism make it mandatory for men to wear the poonel- or sumthing significant- to indicate their marital status, then it will also create in men a feeling of equality w/ their spouses and thus might discourage them from exhibiting unwanted arrogance/superiority over their wives, which might be created in their minds otherwise! :wink:
Neways, this is just my personal idea....I intend to voluntarily wear my poonel to indicate my marital status and respect the sanctity of my marriage after I'm married, if my wife were to wear the thaali, w/out relating to casteism! :D

[aravindhan]

But [/b] in other religions, even men r required to wear the wedding ring.....most unfortunately in Hinduism, they r not known to wear ne thing tat denotes they r married, unlike women
Tulus wear wedding rings - both men and women. It's one of the most important parts of the wedding ceremony.


after marriage they hav to wear a thicker poonel w/ 4 strands, to indicate tat they r married....
I thought it was 6 strands for a married man? I wouldn't really know, though.

[Shekhar]

A married man doesn't need to wear anything to show he is married. The stamp of idiocy to have got married shows all over his face!! :lol: :lol:

[visu]

Shekar that's really funny man :lol:

Wearing poonal over the shirt ! That's double funny. :lol: :lol:

[lordstanher]

Tulus wear wedding rings - both men and women. It's one of the most important parts of the wedding ceremony.

Wow, tats most interesting to know!
First time I got to know abt ne Hindus wearing wedding rings in their marriage! And tat too both men & women! :)
But in tat case, I guess the thaali would be more or less unnecessary.....unless, as I don't doubt, its just worn as a safeguard and/or in case ppl. who r unfamiliar w/ the Tulu traditions begin to question the women abt the lack of the thaali....! :wink:


I thought it was 6 strands for a married man? I wouldn't really know, though.

Oooops!! Very sorry, my mistake! :? Yes ur right, it shud be 6 strands for married men! :)
Actually a relative of mine once said it was 4 but just confirmed it from my mum....she said its double the no. of strands in the brahmachari poonel, so obv. 6 strands!

[lordstanher]

Wearing poonal over the shirt ! That's double funny. :lol: :lol:

Hmm....well, imagine wearing 'jetti' over the pants! :wink: :lol:
I don't reckon ne guy who does tat is going to look exactly like Superman....! :lol:

[Querida]

Hmm....well, imagine wearing 'jetti' over the pants! :wink: :lol:
I don't reckon ne guy who does tat is going to look exactly like Superman....! :lol:

i think the renaissance man beat you all to it...God i'm still trying to forget that mortifying history lesson about codpieces :x :o :oops:

anyways back to uhhh more safer ground...
so what about a prenuptial agreement...is that something that should come more into fashion? Or is that breaking with trust....again it has to be done before the wedding no?

[kandiban]

money .. money u guys , work hard for money not this get money

[visu]

Wearing poonal over the shirt ! That's double funny. :lol: :lol:

Hmm....well, imagine wearing 'jetti' over the pants! :wink: :lol:
I don't reckon ne guy who does tat is going to look exactly like Superman....! :lol:

Well you may give it a try mate! :wink:

[podalangai]

Hmm....well, imagine wearing 'jetti' over the pants! :wink: :lol: I don't reckon ne guy who does tat is going to look exactly like Superman....! :lol:
When I was studying in college, during the ragging period we had to become superheros during the evenings. What that meant was that we had to wear our jettis outside the trousers, wear a lungi on our backs, and pretend to fly if we wanted to go anywhere. Actually, it was quite funny, even for us.

[lordstanher]

Well you may give it a try mate! :wink:

Naah.....wats the use! I can't get ne superhero powers even w/ tat! :P :lol:

[lordstanher]

When I was studying in college, during the ragging period we had to become superheros during the evenings. What that meant was that we had to wear our jettis outside the trousers, wear a lungi on our backs, and pretend to fly if we wanted to go anywhere. Actually, it was quite funny, even for us.

Hmm.....well atleast I hope ur seniors didn't 'punish' u w/ addnl. ragging for ur 'failure' of being able to fly! Tat wud not hav been funny.....nor I think wud wearing a komanam (loin cloth), instead of jetti, over the pants be.....:wink:
And yes, sorry for this little digression in this thread! :)

[Nichiro]

Hello Friends,
Ok no one should take dowry or give dowry.
I am dead against that barbaric custom.
But this topic calls for the following question which needs to be addressed properly.

Please explain me why people should not evolve a process by which their daughters are given fair share of property.

Nichiro

[r_kk]

Please explain me why people should not evolve a process by which their daughters are given fair share of property.
Nichiro

Dear Nichiro,
Your question is a valid one.

This is one of root cause of dowry. If the ancestral property is equally divided between the kids irespective of gender differences, dowry system may disappear soon.

The another one casue is the materialistic expectations of bride as well as their parents. Most of them want a groom with highly paid, so-called highly educated and a stable positions. Most of the advertisements in matrimonial columns are just like "sale". Recently I had been asked to place an "advt" for one of my relative. When I forwarded the responses back to them, the first question asked to me is that about the salary of each one who responded. If some one expect materialistic gains, then they may have to pay for it (just like buying and selling). As long as marriage is based on materialistic expectations. It is nonsensical to blame dowry in those cases. In order to eradicate this, we should encourage the future generation to go for love marraiges irrespespective of intercaste, inter religious and interracial issues.

[visu]

Mates!
Actually there is a law for equal share of property between siblings irrespective of gender.
If girls go to court then that's it mamu!
We people are clever to hoodwink them in name of culture.
If parents give their daughter, their original fair share(which they are mostly not doing) it will prevent any legal battle with their siblings in future.

Even if the daughters get a fair share will they be able to provide support to parents/handle family matters as equal as sons do? That's the thing parents are apprehensive about.