AsianColumbus
9th April 2005, 11:20 AM
I married Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Marriage is a 3-ring circus:
Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The last fight was my fault.
My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the beginning, God created earth and rested.
Then God created man and rested.
Then God created woman.
Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why do men die before their wives?
Cause they want to.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman and said,
"I haven't eaten anything in four days."
She looked at him and said,
"God, I wish I had your willpower."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
Two mothers-in-law.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified:
"Wife wanted."
Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Marriage is a 3-ring circus:
Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The last fight was my fault.
My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the beginning, God created earth and rested.
Then God created man and rested.
Then God created woman.
Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why do men die before their wives?
Cause they want to.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman and said,
"I haven't eaten anything in four days."
She looked at him and said,
"God, I wish I had your willpower."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
Two mothers-in-law.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified:
"Wife wanted."
Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."