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jaiganes
28th March 2005, 11:50 AM
As I am gonna get married, I thought why not get invaluable tips from happily married (? :?: :? ) hubbers . So this thread is the destination to get the attention of bachelor male hubbers who are soon gonna end up tying the knot. I will begin by posting what scorpio akka posted in a different thread, i.e., on a hilarious note.

blahblah
28th March 2005, 12:15 PM
OK,My first advice is stay away from women! :mrgreen:

If you can't,then the rest of the advice will follow. :twisted:

scorpio
28th March 2005, 12:20 PM
Which women? Those in MG Road?? Impossible for JG. After all, he is enjoying his last 3 months of freedom Blahblah..

nirosha sen
28th March 2005, 12:23 PM
I assume this is an arranged marriage????? Always find it fascinating, Pa!! 1st of all - have you even spoken to her yet??? Any chance of dating her for at least a meal out???? :roll:

blahblah
28th March 2005, 12:28 PM
I assume this is an arranged marriage????? Always find it fascinating, Pa!! 1st of all - have you even spoken to her yet??? Any chance of dating her for at least a meal out???? :roll:
:banghead: Nirosha,So you think it is one of those village weddings where the guy enters his bedroom one night and finds a woman there!Why you thought this fellow was absent for so long from the hub?He may offer all the crap as an excuse like going to Ahmedabad etc,but we know where he was,don't we? :twisted:

jaiganes
28th March 2005, 12:41 PM
scorpio akka wrote:

Which women? Those in MG Road?? Impossible for JG. After all, he is enjoying his last 3 months of freedom
True that prarie was roaming MG.Road as a free man sometime back! but now prarie sees no girls! Only one face to remember, ruminate and revolve around and that face is in chennai.

nirosha ji wrote:

assume this is an arranged marriage????? Always find it fascinating, Pa!! 1st of all - have you even spoken to her yet??? Any chance of dating her for at least a meal out????

Yes it is an arranged marriage and true, it is fascinating.
I am in constant touch with her.
As for the last part goes, the bunny guessed it right. Although I have to add that the Ahmedabad journey was also true.

a.ratchasi
28th March 2005, 12:53 PM
I assume this is an arranged marriage????? Always find it fascinating, Pa!! 1st of all - have you even spoken to her yet??? Any chance of dating her for at least a meal out???? :roll:
:banghead: Nirosha,So you think it is one of those village weddings where the guy enters his bedroom one night and finds a woman there!Why you thought this fellow was absent for so long from the hub?He may offer all the crap as an excuse like going to Ahmedabad etc,but we know where he was,don't we? :twisted:

:rotfl:

a.ratchasi
28th March 2005, 12:55 PM
.... Only one face to remember, ruminate and revolve around and that face is in chennai.


Ice... ice... :wink:

scorpio
28th March 2005, 01:34 PM
No a.r,

its

lies, lies

a.ratchasi
28th March 2005, 01:37 PM
:lol: :lol: , Scorpio!
Maapilai saar addresse kaanale?

scorpio
28th March 2005, 01:39 PM
Office-la kanna thoranthukitte dream-world-la duet padittu irupaar...

Didn't you notice his statement- I am in constant touch with her!

jaiganes
28th March 2005, 01:56 PM
back from lunch and already prarie roasting has begun!!!
scorpio akka wrote:

lies, lies
Aahaa ! my divine love is being ridiculed!!! :x :oops: :cry:
scorpio akka also wrote:




I am in constant touch with her!
Yes through Yes - MMM? - Yes.

a.ratchasi
28th March 2005, 02:09 PM
Office-la kanna thoranthukitte dream-world-la duet padittu irupaar...

Didn't you notice his statement- I am in constant touch with her!

I overlooked that one! :lol: :lol:


Aahaa ! my divine love is being ridiculed!!!

Oh come on, JG, can't two sisters of yours tease you just a bit? :)

jaiganes
28th March 2005, 02:15 PM
Ratchasi wrote:

can't two sisters of yours tease you just a bit?
Yes u can.. only a little bit.

blahblah
28th March 2005, 04:01 PM
What will you do if it goes beyond that little bit?See you in the roasting thread. :x :evil:

jaiganes
28th March 2005, 04:18 PM
blahblah wrote:

What will you do if it goes beyond that little bit?

winner vadivelu style
Vaenaam! Azhudhuduvaen!
blahblah also wrote:

See you in the roasting thread.

winner vadivelu style again
Naan othukkaren! Nee bunny dhaannu!

Cindy
28th March 2005, 04:29 PM
JG

Congratulations!!...

God Bless you and your She prarie...


and secret of a happy marriage is nothing other than "LOVE."

Love and respect this bond ever... and enjoy everlasting happiness.

You know how blessed is to have a friend to share ur joy and sorrow.. and now u have a fulltime friend... a mother to radiate that warmth to keep comfortable always, a sister to take care and protect you.. and of course if u dont handle with care.. the same can change to what Shekhar and Blah(2) may explain... but that too is not static.. a smile, a hug around or a sorry.. she will be back to ur lovable again.. Shekhar or Blah (2) may not explain that later part for they believe that it is for them only and not to be shared... u too will start loving that moment.. Go on... life wont be interesting if all went well and there is no creases to iron out.. at least u will miss such moments.... the moments where u realize that u are loving someone and being loved by someone...but take an oath now itself that u dont take ur such small jagdas beyond 6 hours .. u can have ur own ways of closing them of course... :wink:

Cindy
28th March 2005, 04:31 PM
Be very careful in making a Wife to cry..

Because GOD counts her tears..

The Woman came out from the man’s rib.
Not from the feet to be stepped on...
Not from the head to be superior...
But from your side... to be equal...
.......Under the arm, to be protected.......
And at the heart’s side, to be Loved.

Love

Cindy

Cinefan
28th March 2005, 04:35 PM
Jai,I will not give you any tips becos they are not required :D Go ahead make mistakes,get embarassed,there is an innate charm in all that.Another thing is that mine was a love marriage under severe opposition,so there was no joy in the proceedings :( Both of us were just waiting to see that the entire thing goes thro smoothly&we were relieved when it got over.In your case,there is expectation,the joy of the entire family coming together,the rituals etc.Enjoy,have a blast becos very soon you will find yourself crashing with a thud. :lol:

blahblah
28th March 2005, 04:37 PM
Cindy, you got it right for sure.We certainly won't share those holy moments and experiences as they are too personal to be shared. :wink: :D

Yet if God counts the tears of women,he will certainly need more accountants than those who are available in this world.They cry for no reason! :cry:

nirosha sen
28th March 2005, 04:39 PM
Aiyo Jai!!! :x Why all the suspense Pa!! You are not telling us much you know!! It's not like we are asking for her address to "vette-vekke" abt you Pa!! Although, I wouldn't put it pass dear Scorpio Pa (ahem)!!

But the least you can do is tell us more abt her. Like how old she is. What does she do? What do you like abt her,etc, etc!!

Roshan
28th March 2005, 04:47 PM
Be very careful in making a Wife to cry..

Because GOD counts her tears..

The Woman came out from the man’s rib.
Not from the feet to be stepped on...
Not from the head to be superior...
But from your side... to be equal...
.......Under the arm, to be protected.......
And at the heart’s side, to be Loved.

Love

Cindy

Nice one Cindy !!!


Jaiganesh,

Congratulations !!! :) It's going to be another episode of Chennai Vs B'lore I guess :P :wink: Hubbers-ku ellaam invitation uNdaa? :)

Shekhar
28th March 2005, 06:19 PM
JG

Congratulations!!...

God Bless you

and secret of a happy marriage is nothing other than "LOVE."



Sure JG.. Congratulations and God Bless you!!.. Well, He can't help you more than that :lol: :lol:


....life wont be interesting if all went well and there is no creases to iron out.. at least u will miss such moments....
Yea.. you are going to enjoy your wife helping you to lighten the burden of carrying heavy cash.
You will enjoy the volley of reporaches and nice long sermon on what a responsible husband should be, if you ever commit the unpardonable sin of coming back from your office 15 minutes late forgetting the cinema programme.
You will enjoy the dinner good enough for a begger, and sleeping in the drawing room, should you ever fall to the temptation of going to a pub in MG Road with your friends. It is bound to be followed by hour(s) long invocation of guilt in your heart till the memory of your beer really starts tasting bitter.
You will enjoy your wife dragging you out of your illusion that you are intelligent, wise, efficient, and expose your mind to the reality that you are incorrigible idiot, the most inefficent man ever found on earth.
You will enjoy her telling you that her marrying you is the best thing that could ever happen to your life, and you should be ever grateful to her for choosing to marry you, though you are such a nincompoop, and you should behave properly, and find salvation in devoting your life for her welfare.
So JG.. go ahead.. thank Cindy for her encouragement.. :lol: :lol:
Btw.. I will just remind you that Cindy is a Woman!!! :wink: :lol: :lol:

Akash
28th March 2005, 06:32 PM
Shekar... pls stay close to us and help us like this!! :roll:

blahblah
28th March 2005, 06:40 PM
Shekhar,I can tell you that each and every word you spoke here is nothing but truth.But what is the use of scaring one fellow away from inevitable truth.

When we were students,we used to go to the cinema regularly.If we find one movie particularly boring,we will go and tell all others that it is such a great movie and that they should definitely go and watch it! :wink:

Let me conclude with this,I would like to see all these free birds getting married. :twisted: :twisted:

jaiganes
28th March 2005, 09:05 PM
Cindy!
I know what u said came straight from your heart. I thank you for that.
Shekhar your statements also seem to be from heart. I thank u for that too.
Niroji! My would be is from chennai, she is 24 years old and she is quite organised, bold and intelligent (brighter than me). She is also an engineer and she works in TCS. I see a lot of qualities in her that I find myself to be lacking in. She is very caring, frank and God Loving.
Irrespective of the pitfalls that married life may bring, I am ready for it and would try my level best to enjoy it.

jaiganes
28th March 2005, 09:08 PM
Roshan!!

Hubbers are invited too. I will post the venue details once everything is confirmed. Thanks for reminding me.

Cindy
28th March 2005, 09:15 PM
Thats Spirit My Kid..! Best Luck..

And dont worry about these guys' words.. wife bashing is just their hobby.. they love their wife more than anyone else otherwise.. one even went to the height of washing her clothes.. :D....

Try understanding her and make her understand what you are... try to make decisions together... and enjoy life...

nirosha sen
29th March 2005, 03:42 AM
Hmmm....I'll second Cindy abt the decision making Pa!! Nothing is more frustrating that being kept in the dark abt anything pertaining to the family's welfare, until too late!! That's when women feel like mere doormats, just there to be trampled on Pa!! :(

So you think she's brighter than you, huh????!!!! Ahem, ahem........

Badri
29th March 2005, 05:23 AM
Irrespective of the pitfalls that married life may bring, I am ready for it and would try my level best to enjoy it.

Hmm, ippo ippadi thaan solluva...Love is blind nu summa vaa sonnanga

Poga poga theriyum...aage aage dekhiye hota hai kya!!! :lol:

hehehewalrus
29th March 2005, 05:58 AM
JG,
not in a position to give u anything useful. But kedaikara information ellaam vechu assignment ezhudhi mudi, naan venumbodhu vaangi bit adichikaren :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

Shekhar
29th March 2005, 09:51 AM
Hi JG,
If you want to enjoy married life, you should listen to me..I am against long posts, but seeing you are such an innocent guy, ready to take the plunge, I am breaking my rules.

See, married life is a different world, where the laws, rules and tenets of this world do not apply. It is like a jungle in the fairytale, where you find giant creepers erupting into life, talking frogs and walking stones, dwarfs with long ears and witches with evil smiles. You must forget all the 'good' things taught by your parents and teachers and learn skills to survive in the faery world of marriage.
I will give you an example. You are an honest guy and believe in telling the truth. Take it from me, before the sun sets twice after your marriage, you wife will take an oath from you that you will never lie to her. I have nothing against giving a promise. But you are fool if you follow it. In marriage if you tell the truth, you had it. If you lie you had it too. But if you tell an intelligent lie, may be you escape with your life.
I will describe you one scene, taken from my above post.
After a hard day at the office, you will go to a café with your colleague for a bit of tea and snacks, and get home 1 ˝ hrs late. Your wife will ask you why you are late. You are an honest guy. If you tell the truth be ready to answer the following questions.
Whom did you go with? Man or a woman?
If man.. who invited whom to go to café?
If you invited, don’t you remember the ceremony with fan and fare when you were told that the days of stray cattle are over?
If he invited, then are you sure his parents are married?
If woman, is she married or not.
Who invited whom to go to café?
If you did, then I cannot proceed since the hub administrators delete all posts of gory details of violence.
If she did, and if she is married, then is her husband a singer and dancer who wears sari and nose stud at times?
If not married, in which lane does she stand in late evenings?
(The above questions, printed as above seem passive but not so. Mellon would have brought out the right volume and intonations through font size, boldings, colour and proper punctuations. I humbly admit my incompetence in this field)

See what happens when you tell the truth?
If it were I, I would simply say..”Oh! hell! Traffic jam” (who says traffic jams are bad? They have saved so many lives)

If it were blahblah, greedy that he is, would have said “ See darling, I went out scouting for nice sandals for you to give you a surprise, but I couldn't find any that are worthy of your queenly feet” The ensuing evening would be nicer and sweeter.

So if you listen to Cindys and Scorpios, Roshans and Niroshas, you are going to have a tough time. From what I see, you will not survive beyond your honeymoon and end up as an eternal slave. You could as well been born in Egypt some 2000 yrs ago.

Please do not mistake that I am advising you against marriage. Since you are destined to be married you can as well go ahead with it. God has already drafted you for the Army of marriage. Whether you will turnout to be a brave soldier like me, or end up as dhobi and cook (or both) in uniform, depends upon advise you take and the skills you develop..
Best of Luck….
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

scorpio
29th March 2005, 09:55 AM
Cindy!
I know what u said came straight from your heart. I thank you for that.
Shekhar your statements also seem to be from heart. I thank u for that too.
Niroji! My would be is from chennai, she is 24 years old and she is quite organised, bold and intelligent (brighter than me). She is also an engineer and she works in TCS. I see a lot of qualities in her that I find myself to be lacking in. She is very caring, frank and God Loving.
Irrespective of the pitfalls that married life may bring, I am ready for it and would try my level best to enjoy it.

TCS-aa, cha, yesterday evening, one of my good-looking colleague told me that her marriage has been fixed to a software groom in Blore and marriage is in June n engagement next month. For a split second, I really thought the world is small. :oops:

JG,

Now it is time for you to share tips to others in the waiting list as to how to trap a bold, organised and intelligent engineer who is frank enough to care for lesser intelligent mortals! :D

scorpio
29th March 2005, 09:58 AM
Oh Shekhar,

After a long time, I can see the real 'YOU'.

:rotfl:

Roshan
29th March 2005, 10:06 AM
Oh Skekhar !! you helped me over come the disorientation I had after last night's earthquake and the subsequent tsunami alert !! :lol:

Good one !!! :lol:

blahblah
29th March 2005, 11:01 AM
Hi JG,
If it were blahblah, greedy that he is, would have said “ See darling, I went out scouting for nice sandals for you to give you a surprise, but I couldn't find any that are worthy of your queenly feet” The ensuing evening would be nicer and sweeter.


Can't you see that I am honest to my wife?

It is better to avoid the situation than make it and then lie.

For example,if you want to have a quite drink,tell her that you will be late from work in advance.Just observe the kind of drink she can't smell so easily.[I do take Vodka which my wife can not find out quite easily :wink: ].

Then to offer some sensible advice,just observe which all women your wife doesn't like and present it as your opinion.You will be surprised to see her listening with great interest for hours.But don't overdo it please.

Again,praise her intelligent ways in doing things.Don't tell her plainly that she is brainy for she won't believe it and will know that you are lying to appease her.

Then comes cooking.If she makes something nice be no miser in showering praises.If she makes something hopeless ,be partly honest.Tell her it may not be very good,but it is ok and you understand that she is in the process of learning. :?


Always be busy.Though women seem to want their husbands sitting with them all the time,the don't actually respect a man who does it. :cry:

Badri
29th March 2005, 11:07 AM
Always be busy.Though women seem to want their husbands sitting with them all the time,the don't actually respect a man who does it. :cry:

Why the long face, bunny? Tried it and failed?

Roshan
29th March 2005, 11:10 AM
Always be busy.Though women seem to want their husbands sitting with them all the time,the don't actually respect a man who does it. :cry:

Hey!! that was really a good one !! Very true indeed !!

See how marriage gives you the intelligence to analyse things in a proper way !! :wink:

scorpio
29th March 2005, 11:19 AM
JG,

Introduce your would-be to the hub. I see a very pertinent need to coach /coax her on many things. It is only fair to do that after seeing how Shekhar and BlahBlah have jointly spoilt you to the core.

Shekhar
29th March 2005, 11:41 AM
See how marriage gives you the intelligence to analyse things in a proper way !! :wink:

It sharpens the memory too...
You will never forget your wife's birthday, all her sister's and brother's children's birthdays, the wedding anniversery of all her brothers and sisters...
You will never forget the price of the 'cheap' (cheaper than the neighbour's wife's sari) sari you brought her, the shop, the date and the occassion.
You will never forget the name of her sister's husband's sister whom you ogled for 2 1/2 seconds in a marriage party.
You will never forget the name of the film, the director, the star cast, the theatre and the date on which you promised to take her to, but could not because of the urgent meeting in the office...
:lol: :lol:

blahblah
29th March 2005, 11:47 AM
Shekhar,don't scare the prairie please.Remember that his time will come to be disillusioned.Even if you are going to hell it is better not to know it in advance :roll:

Badri
29th March 2005, 12:06 PM
Even if you are going to hell it is better not to know it in advance :roll:

:rotfl: :rotfl:

Well said! How is it that all the femme fatales (read more as fatal females than the usual sense) out there are all applauding, while it is the males giving the shoulder of support? That itself goes to show what a trap marriage is to the poor and unsuspecting male.

And yet, with all the discussions he has seen, heard and participated in, our JG is falling into the same trap as so many of us!

We men never learn, do we?

jaiganes
29th March 2005, 12:31 PM
scorpio akka wrote:

one of my good-looking colleague told me that her marriage has been fixed to a software groom in Blore and marriage is in June n engagement next month.

It is one of the modus operandi to get more votes for Bangalore from Chennai. :wink: :lol:


Thanks shekhar and blahblah!

The tips were quite engrossing. Reading through the humour, I could guess what is instore for me, as like everybody else, I am going to make a new beginning with the assimilated experience of the hubbers like you guys.
Scorpio akka, she doesn't hub much and her hub is more in real time and less on the web. As I told you earlier, she is better prepared for this than me. So if you have any do's and dont's , It is me who needs it more, coz I am the tubelight , remember?.

scorpio akka also wrote:


Now it is time for you to share tips to others in the waiting list as to how to trap a bold, organised and intelligent engineer who is frank enough to care for lesser intelligent mortals!
haa! That is where Arranged Marriage comes to our rescue. It is more like going to market and buying the fish instead of waiting for a fish to take your line!! :lol:

Roshan wrote:

Oh Skekhar !! you helped me over come the disorientation
Not quite Roshan. not quite.
So much of wisdom in the hub on marital bliss!!! I need to compile all this sitting one whole day.

Badri
29th March 2005, 12:45 PM
JG: I remembered one tip my cousin gave me before my wedding...I have failed to follow it on occassions but am decidedly wiser now...


"Never tell your wife she is wrong even if you have proof otherwise."

Sacred mantra, man! Chant it 108 times everyday till it integrates with your system.

jaiganes
29th March 2005, 12:53 PM
badri wrote:

"Never tell your wife she is wrong even if you have proof otherwise."
good one!!
I have experience of telling my boss that he is wrong, but not when he is emotionaly charged, only in private and when he is in a mellow mood. This applies to everyone I guess. There is a time and place to do/say everything, even TRUTH!!

Cindy
29th March 2005, 01:23 PM
"Never tell your wife she is wrong even if you have proof otherwise."

You can, but just take care of your body language and words you use.... She may not worry if any one else shouts at her but you... and she never can be a stubborn to continue things which you dont like..... and i believe this rule is not only for a wife.. but also husbands.. or even kids...

and Shekar and Blah(2) made the picture clear...

One was trying to be smart and for all his mischieves, he used to lie... (thinking that women are stupid enuf to believe them...) once or twice she may get cheated.. from the third incident.. even if u be honest .. she will think twice.

The other was trying to exaggerate incidents.. but anyway.. he found it out at last that she cannot be fooled so also...

do not lie, do not exaggerate.. just be yourself, be honest, as you would expect from her.

If u are planning to throw a party and sure that u are gonna be late, call her, tell her u will be late and have ur bash with friends.... and try to be home at the time you promised her... remember, she will be waiting for YOU alone..

If when u call home to say u will be late, she says there is something else important... you think twice.. you both should have the ability to prioritize things and mutually get convinced.... afterall you are not kids..but grownups.

A wife will only be proud of a husband when u share ur plans with her and be honest... and vice versa.

pavalamani pragasam
29th March 2005, 01:51 PM
While Shekar and blahblah are bent on scaring the wits out of JG giving him all kinds of evil advice & dramatic domestic scenes, it is also good for JG to get a clear idea about feminine conclusions! Isn’t it better to dispel some illusions of male, brow-beating hypothetical situations and solutions? Without some insight into feminine logic- a unique kind- which no man has yet fully grasped or mastered, I am afraid. Other than the basic factor of luck which will make compatibility an easy matter, there is much diligent effort needed to tackle a twenty four hour, lifelong commitment. It is up to the husband to be resourceful in tackling shrewish tendencies- don’t women tackle the tyrannical male tendencies?
One useful bit of information I read today:
“There are three kinds of men who don’t understand women-young, old and middle-aged.”
Perhaps this ignorance is bliss, many men decide!!!

jaiganes
29th March 2005, 02:15 PM
Pavalamani mme wrote:


“There are three kinds of men who don’t understand women-young, old and middle-aged.”
Perhaps this ignorance is bliss, many men decide!!!

Funny one but serious thought is behind this. Reflecting upon myself, I am not sure what kind of a person I am myself. As I see it people cannot be put in bottles of "Good", "Bad" or "Ugly". Everyday, whatever each individual faces, shapes him/her. This is the only conclusion I can come to. So if I am not sure and can define in one line what kind of person I am, I guess expecting to understand another person will be equally difficult, but the process should not be stopped, in my opinion. I will try to understand my future wife fully and I hope that she too will try to understand me without coming to pre conceived notions and judgements. I guess being truthful and honest is a key ingredient as it is only through truthful conduct can one open up for the other person to understand and vice versa.
So briefly summarizing the salient points gathered from all hubbers so far:

1. Being Truthful to partner.(from shekhar,blahblah, badri)
2. Being sensitive to partner.(from Cindy,pavalamani mme,shekhar)
3. Honouring commitments. (from Cindy)
4. Prioritizing and sticking to those priorities which are common (from Cindy)
Thanks for all those who have contributed to this and for those who are going to contribute in future.
I guess there is still a lot more to come from wise individuals of the hub.
Walrus anna! please take down these notes so far...

Roshan
29th March 2005, 02:19 PM
“There are three kinds of men who don’t understand women-young, old and middle-aged.”
Perhaps this ignorance is bliss, many men decide!!!

:thumbsup: That's the ultimate truth !!

Shekhar
29th March 2005, 04:14 PM
OK, I have been joking...

On a serious note.. let me put in something with out any sugar coating.

For a marriage to be successful, depends on what type of persons husband and wife are.
If you are person who thinks you are always right, too egoistic to accept your faults and short comings, too insistive on other's duty forgetting yours, who ever you marry your marriage will be an utter failure.

If you are person of low self esteem, who feel threatened by any quality stuff around, who feel offended at every little thing, whether it is intended or not, who feel that if the other person is good in anything you will surface in bad light, then your marriage is bound to be on rocks.

If either of you are of questionable ethics, with suspect values, the marriage is bound to be hell.

If either of you are of deppressive nature, cynical, short tempered, taunting rather than talking, then your home will be a boxing arena.

If you are of high self esteem, considerate, doesnot censure the partner's weakness, take things lightly, have sense of humour, then there is a good chance of your marriage being successful, if the self esteem level of your partner is not far below yours.

And the most important thing, you can tell your spouse of his/her mistake dispassionately without hurting, but if you take it as your mission to REFORM your spouse, your marriage will go for a six.

If both of you are of high self esteem, in love with each other, uncesure of each others mistakes, with absolute trust, not too much demanding of each other, not too much dependent on each other, respect each others freedom, appreciative of each others positive qualities, then your marriage will be wonderful. You will grow in intimacy as the years pass. Believe me, I have seen such couple married for decades, still in romance. There is nothing more beautiful than such a relationship.


But let us face it, such combinations are rare. However 'good' you are and if your spouse is not, your marriage is bound to be a tragedy and however good your spouse is and if you are not, still the marriage will be a farse.

The wisdom lies in not aiming at perfect marriage, but to make the best of what you have, by sincerely making efforts to keep peace at home and bring as much joy as possible by avoiding conflicts, even if it means a lot of sacrifice.

So there you are...

Roshan
29th March 2005, 04:30 PM
:thumbsup:

jaiganes
29th March 2005, 09:01 PM
Shekhar anna!

Sooper posting. I will have to higlight the whole post and print it.
Thanks.

hehehewalrus
29th March 2005, 09:38 PM
If the wife doesnt respect or honor the husband, 90% of the homes, children won't!

Querida
30th March 2005, 01:58 AM
Hey Jaiganesh all i can say is my heartfelt congratulations to you! :thumbsup:



If both of you are of high self esteem, in love with each other, uncesure of each others mistakes, with absolute trust, not too much demanding of each other, not too much dependent on each other, respect each others freedom, appreciative of each others positive qualities, then your marriage will be wonderful. You will grow in intimacy as the years pass. Believe me, I have seen such couple married for decades, still in romance. There is nothing more beautiful than such a relationship.

sorry im going to let myself give in and say awwwww :P :


anyways whatever advice that is given in the end you are going to act the way that you are....most of it is common sense...we all know how we like to be treated and that is how others like to be treated....if you both go out of your way to do things for each other it is not because you have to it is because you want to....there is nothing wrong in that...so be yourself..you cannot be another (however ideal) for long..chances are she loves you just cause you are you...

Shekhar
30th March 2005, 09:45 AM
It is up to the husband to be resourceful in tackling shrewish tendencies- !!!

Oh Yea.. it is always the responsibility of the husaband..isn't it??!!
Shifting responsibity of failure over to an other person is what inept people always resort to .. and it is a sure land mine in a marriage.


“There are three kinds of men who don’t understand women-young, old and middle-aged.”
Perhaps this ignorance is bliss, many men decide!!!

This is a classic example of self deceipt.

scorpio
30th March 2005, 12:00 PM
JG,

Have you given your first gift to her so far?? If not, be creative and present her with something she likes. Verum kaiyila mozham potta velaikku aagathu!! Open your purse and take that credit card out!

If her birthday falls in the next 3 months ( before marriage date), dont forget to surprise her with a memorable gift. BTW, Have u bought something for her for your engagemnet this Sunday?? Try to do some shopping too in MG road, not just jolling!

jaiganes
30th March 2005, 12:16 PM
akka!
I have bought her couple of gifts and have purchased a saree for her in the betrothal. She too has gifted me. Her gift is a wonderful watch from Titan.

scorpio
30th March 2005, 12:21 PM
JG,

Thoongum pozhudavathu watch-a kazhatti vekkariya illaya?? :lol:

jaiganes
30th March 2005, 12:26 PM
With heavy heart! :cry:

nirosha sen
31st March 2005, 06:39 AM
Jai - Now, I have to throw you the dash of cold water Pa! Where are you guys going to live??? With or without in-laws in tow???!!! :roll:

Uhm....Will there be a honeymoon or not??? Or will it just be a whole lot of sight seeing with in-laws as ahem, chaperones????!!!! :wink:

jaiganes
31st March 2005, 09:39 AM
niro wrote:

Where are you guys going to live???

In my apartment in Bangalore.

niro also wrote:

With or without in-laws in tow???!!!


My parents will come and go. Her parents also will do the same.

Niro's third query:

Uhm....Will there be a honeymoon or not??? Or will it just be a whole lot of sight seeing with in-laws as ahem, chaperones????!!!!
We haven't planned that bit. My leaves are in some critical shape. So will have to plan accordingly.

Badri
31st March 2005, 09:43 AM
Niro's third query:

Uhm....Will there be a honeymoon or not??? Or will it just be a whole lot of sight seeing with in-laws as ahem, chaperones????!!!!
We haven't planned that bit. My leaves are in some critical shape. So will have to plan accordingly.

Thambi: Inga romba mukhiyama gavani....don't postpone the honeymoon...or you will hear about it till your "aruvadhavathu kalyanam"

You may take her to the moon next year, but she will still say "all my friends went for their honeymoon...neenga appave enna engayume kootikittu poga mateengale" or about a three hundred and sixty three other variations of it.

So, throw caution to the winds and go somewhere...you may not stick to your present organization/boss for life, but you are going to be stuck to your wife for a looooong time to come!!

Apparam un istham

Querida
31st March 2005, 09:53 AM
hmmm why all this forewarning and scaring? :? Really are ladies like that? All of them so stereotypical? I mean i know of the stereotypical ones portrayed in say films or tv but in real life?

Badri
31st March 2005, 09:57 AM
Q: I take it that you are not married and therefore, you can't believe you will ultimately fall into the same sterotype.

Marriage does strange things to people. It makes bonded slaves of men and it brings out hitherto hidden facets of the woman. I daresay you will start discovering new facets of yourself when you get married too!

I am sure all girls start out saying I will be different...but seeing the metaphoric sacrificial lamb aka husband brings back savage memories of ancient past encoded in the very genes. Out goes the resolution to be different! Instead, she says, licking her lips, "Ha! And abandon this wonderful opportunity? What do I take myself for? A fool?"

That is what happens when the man says "I do" (to use a western concept of the marriage).

Querida
31st March 2005, 10:03 AM
well ok whatever why worry about things that are far from happening i'll just stay in my realm of ignorance thanx :D

Shekhar
31st March 2005, 10:11 AM
I am sure all girls start out saying I will be different...but seeing the metaphoric sacrificial lamb aka husband brings back savage memories of ancient past encoded in the very genes. Out goes the resolution to be different! Instead, she says, licking her lips, "Ha! And abandon this wonderful opportunity? What do I take myself for? A fool?"

This is truly great!!! :lol: :lol: :rotfl: ........and how true!! :rotfl:

jaiganes
31st March 2005, 10:35 AM
Badri!
Good one!!!! particularly the "363 other variants" :rotfl:
and the "encoded in the very genes" :rotfl:

I salute you!! y didn't u try ur hand in Thamizh film dialogue writing. I am sure u can beat crazy mohan.

scorpio
31st March 2005, 10:38 AM
Badri!
Good one!!!! particularly the "363 other variants" :rotfl:
and the "encoded in the very genes" :rotfl:

I salute you!! y didn't u try ur hand in Thamizh film dialogue writing. I am sure u can beat crazy mohan.

JG,
Let me print this salute and present you back on the 17 th of June.. You'll then decode practically what's really encoded in a woman's genes! :lol:

Badri
31st March 2005, 10:39 AM
Badri!
Good one!!!! particularly the "363 other variants" :rotfl:
and the "encoded in the very genes" :rotfl:

I salute you!! y didn't u try ur hand in Thamizh film dialogue writing. I am sure u can beat crazy mohan.

Thambi JG: Sirithaal mattum podhathu...learn these lessons by heart!!

Tamizh film dialogs aa! Intha nakkal thaane venangarathu!

jaiganes
31st March 2005, 10:44 AM
akka wrote:

JG,
Let me print this salute and present you back on the 17 th of June.. You'll then decode practically what's really encoded in a woman's genes!
Innum aarambikkaradhukkulle en kudumba vaazhkaile Gundu vaikiraangale!!! cries out like vadivelu.. :cry:
(eng translation: Why plant a bomb in my yet to begin married life? :cry:)
Edho vaarthai prayogam nalla irundhadhennu paarattinen! Adhu kooda koodadha akka???
(eng translation: I just congratulated badri for his intersting vocabs, Is that an offence big enuf for such a punishment?)