A shame

[RP]

[tscii:de8c1893e5]NOT A VERY IMPORTANT NEWS! JUST ONE OF THE "CRAZY" MODERN TRENDS THAT CATCH MY ATTENTION IN THE NEWSPAPERS! LlIVING TO LEARN:

From “The Times of India”:
A stitch to regain virginity.
Hymenoplasty is the new craze among medical tourists in India.


[/tscii:de8c1893e5]

This is interesting.........My personal experience with middle aged patients who come for penile injections ......
so its just not men but also women..... :shock:

[Lambretta]

[tscii]“Two of the girls were call girls belonging to good families ho wanted their hymens intact as they were engaged to be married and wanted no suspicion from their husbands.
WT*&%$!!! :shock: :evil: :x :banghead: :hammer: :(

[goodsense]

Lammy,

You know how busy I am; the reason why I am a little absent here. But seeing your sad face, I can't help dopping in to say a few words to you to cheer you up.

I know young men like you these days with high hopes/wishes can be shocked and dissapointed, but in the middle of all this, you can expect to get what you deserve. I think you deserve the best and I am sure you will get that. There are always some good things amongst all the bad things. Just keep an eye and ear out. Don't be so sad :)

[Lambretta]

TKs for ur kind words, GS! :)
Well, actually one reason I get agitated on learning such news is tat girls/women like these (ment'd in this news) care so little abt preserving ther own dignity, driven by material desires, wen at the same time tat is the one thing tat happens to be at stake these days, considering the violence on girls/women on the increase!
OK in case of these girls ment'd, now ther r ways to physically rectify ther lost 'virgnity' to prevent suspicion but does tat serve ne purpose wen the real 'purity' from the mind itself has been lost?........ :( :huh:

Neways, busy I am too......but thankfully only until end of this week! :)

[pavalamani pragasam]

I second goodsense! The main reason about my warning about this not being an important news! The good abounds everywhere, goes about life, silently, smoothly, sacredly & happily!

[Lambretta]

I second goodsense! The main reason about my warning about this not being an important news!
Really PP ma'm? I thot u wer being ironic wen u said it wasnt important! :D

[Querida]

pardon me for not jumping on the bandwagon, but don't such operations exist because there is such stigma surrounding girls and their virginity but not around guys? They have to go through operations and actually falsely proclaim their virginity for what reason? So that they are allowed socially to sleep with a guy? Isn't that what was condemned so wrong in the first place? Why can't a girl's word be taken as true as any guy's? How many people ask or care if the guy is a virgin? I am NOT saying do not practice abstinence or do have pre-marital relations...what I am trying to understand is if a woman says she is a virgin why does it have to go to the extent of blood which naturally may/may not appear to be the sign of her viriginity? I know I am being quite candid here. But i think trust should not be one-sided.

[pavalamani pragasam]

Lambretta, true to what my signature says I watch the modern trends, big & small ones, wide & local, amused, amazed, shocked. I am an observer! If my statements sound judgemental it is because by being candid soooo loooong here everybody knows me in and out!!!

[ssanjinika]

[tscii]“Two of the girls were call girls belonging to good families ho wanted their hymens intact as they were engaged to be married and wanted no suspicion from their husbands.
WT*&%$!!! :shock: :evil: :x :banghead: :hammer: :(

What the !!!!!!
My sentiments exactly!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ssanjinika]

IF they are going to indulge in premarital sex and loose the virginity ,then let them be wo-man enough to tell their future husbands the truth..
Going through this operation just for this seems so distasteful!

[Lambretta]

pardon me for not jumping on the bandwagon, but don't such operations exist because there is such stigma surrounding girls and their virginity but not around guys?

F they are going to indulge in premarital sex and loose the virginity ,then let them be wo-man enough to tell their future husbands the truth..
Going through this operation just for this seems so distasteful!
Que, SS....u'd no doubt be rite if ur argument concerns girls who indulge in pre-marital relations alone....
But wat abt the more serious qsn. of those other 2 girls (mentioned in this article) who stooped low enuff to do wat no girl/woman married or otherwise wud've willingly done, tat too wen they come from supposedly good families?! :x
Shud society become open enuff to accept even this from a girl (of course ther r guys also who r said to indugle in this but dont want to digress into tat @ the moment) if they r 'honest' enuff abt it & not hav ne stigmas abt this either?!
And even if otherwise in this case wud they be justified to hide sumthing tat was legally (forget morally) unacceptable/punishable & deserve support/sympathy for it??

[Querida]

True, Lambretta I agree that yes it is so very wrong of those girls to try and beguile their future relations..again this kind of situation just makes the case not to believe a woman's word! :x :evil: but I was more looking at it from a broad context than that specific case.

[goodsense]

[tscii:54f7e3279f]Querida,

I know where you were coming from - the issue of chastity of women and not men even when they have done the same things. But I think Shyam (a name I want to get use to) was looking at himself as the innocent boy who could be fooled from it. Similarly, there are men who run around then want to innocent woman to settle with and I know what you mean, it goes unquestioned.

This brings me to tell a story I was withholding for many reasons, but due to be posted in the thread "why women stay alone".

Back in September last year, one guy from Guyana saw my picture and add (business advert) in the newspaper. He decided to call me up and questioned whether I was from Guyana or Trinidad. When I told him Guyana he was very happy, but pretended he was calling about business. He kept finding reasons to call me each day and in the course of discussion he found out his aunt taught me in school and she knows my family well. He contacted his aunt to find out about me and more and more he wanted to know about me. He knows all about my life and family in Guyana cause the aunt and family are from my area.

This guy further wanted to know about my life outside Guyana,
meanwhile he is divorced and don't want me to know the reasons. Moreover, he lived here for close to thirty years after his divorce, had girlfriends and is way older than me. I never met him, we only spoke on the phone and he wanted all the information from me about me. I said look, we are both adults and I have lived away from family and alone and taking such responsibilities should be appreciated or else its not worth it. He said "I am a boy from the old school and don't you know when a boy/man is interested in a girl/woman he tries to go around finding out about her and that a woman never wants to know about the man’s background"? I replied, that's in the villages, we are in Canada. He then tried to find out if there is another girl with my name from my area home. All sorts of questions he popped to get information to enquiry further about me. I answered some, not all. The next thing is he was coming up to my gym and wait in his car, following me to the temple and watch me praying and even when I go shopping in the grocery store. He would come up with his cart and bang it on mine in such a way that I feel like I have caused the accident and I would apologize. When I realized in November what went on for three months, I thought of serious steps to put an end to this guy following me around in every place since September. I told my mother I want to call the police since I had already warned him about that and he continued. My mother tried to stop me since she knows the family, but I eventually did cause I was so fed up. He was still following me even though we had stop speaking on the phone. I guess he was hoping to get back to me in some way after finding out all he wanted about me. I have no interest in such a man and wanted him to keep away from my business before he starts to get nasty (after realizing I am not interested). Now he can’t even dial my number. The funny thing is when I called the police, they said to me that he was doing “bride shopping” :x , but they know the behaviour is unwanted. Any way he was seriously warned. I have had enough following over the years, only to drive me mad, so I couldn't take much more of it :wink:

I had discussed the problem with females in the guy (they know how upset I used to be) and they too were all annoyed about a man sneaking up on a woman instead of coming directly and told me to get rid of him.
[/tscii:54f7e3279f]

[r_o_j_a]

bullying should be tackled.. needs to be more discipline in schools.

[Lambretta]

But I think Shyam (a name I want to get use to) was looking at himself as the innocent boy who could be fooled from it.
Exactly! guys like me may be a 'minority' but still......! :(
And yea, GS, I know it feels to terrible to hav the kind of problem tat u went thru.....but glad once its all over ur shoulder I guess......! :)
Will replymore in detail later......gto attend the function here for now (at my uncle's house in Madras....!) :)

[goodsense]

Where have you been all week??? Good to see you back. Too tied up in serious issues to find out where you were, though had it in mind.

[Lambretta]

*DIGR*
Hi all,
Yea GS it does feel good for me to be back here too! :D
Had my CPU given for repair for a week & later went on a visit to Madras over the weekend.......returned only on Sunday & my CPU returned only today! :)
Spent the whole evening & most of the night until now handling my pending emails in my inbox (I had 20 pertaining to this forum! :lol: )
Just got my IRDA exam to prepare for now altho will be relatively free to log in....!

/DIGR

[Lambretta]

Jus found this article posted in one of the msn groups I frequent:

Oppressed Women of the West

In the West, women have been reduced almost to a commodity of enjoyment and fantasy. They have tended to degrade themselves unwittingly in modern times for, in the name of equality, they have become the objects of exploitation by men and the slogans of liberty and equality have virtually reduced them to playful commodities.
They have neither gained liberty nor achieved equality; rather they have lost their natural place in the home.

The sexual revolution in the 70's seemed to have brought a new phase in women's lives. The new picture is of a woman who is liberated from the kitchen sink, a woman who is on equal footing with the man. The dark age of oppression seems to have disappeared. But has it?

A man was raped in Hampstead at rush hour at 6:30 pm.
Officially that made it 8 reported cases of violent rape. It is accepted now that there is no security for men and women in this western civilized society. But what is worse is that the public reacted with immense shock at the discovery of "men rapes", as if it is acceptable for a woman to be raped (once every two and a half hours in Britain, once every 6 minutes in the USA).

The number of women raped increases every year and the measures taken to solve the problem include defense classes or putting more lights in the street. Which are solutions that accept the existence of the problem and do not go to the root of the problem. This is the same as treating hair loss that a cancer's patient is suffering from, but the cancer is still there.
And in this case it is the attitude and the lifestyle in the west. A lifestyle which adopts the concept that life is short and people should have the "freedom" to "enjoy" themselves.

But to have maximum freedom leads to the abandonment of any restrictions and the goal becomes attaining pleasure at any cost. In a survey done at an American college (UCLA) and later at Cambridge University, 33% of the male students said that they would rape a woman if they could get away with it. 58% said they would "force" a woman into having sex. Thus the concept of freedom and enjoyment dominates the society regardless of the consequences!

You might think that this is extreme, that the idea of rape cultivates in the sick minds of a minority in the society, but the fact is that this idea lives in the minds of your average decent guy: the fact is that 88% of the woman raped know the attacker and most of the time the rape happens when they are on a date. But men can claim that rape and the increase in rape is a result of the way women look and dress and in the general way they attract attention to themselves. We are not here to prove or disprove this claim. But we certainly need to look at how women live their life, and why they live it in such a manner.
IF we look at the woman in today's society, we see that she lives by standards imposed on her by the society, and the media. Is her role the glamorous career women who has to look like a model all the time? Does she get away from the fact that if she is fat, which, is incidentally a natural physiological process, then she is ugly, just to conform to the society's concept of beauty (although beauty is in the eye of the beholder).

We see that women are bombarded by images of models, who's weight is 23% lower than the average weight of a women; models who have the highest paid profession (not for skills or mind), a profession that opens them to exploitation of all kinds. Their bodies are being used by the media to sell various "items" such as even a bar of chocolate or a car!

The reality is that women are over-sensitive to their appearance. In one statistics it was found that 75% of women were either starting a diet, finishing one, or just giving up on one. You find that if women are not exercising or involved in a diet then they are talking about dieting, rather than talking about real issues such as the social or economic problems. It does not stop at this.

In a world where millions are dying at starvation in Africa and Asia, you find that I50.000 women die every year in America, because of a disease called Anorexia nervosa. i.e. they die because they don't want to eat!!
Just imagine saying that to a lady in Somalia. What is worse though, is that this fact about Anorexia nervosa, is not a headline the same way the AIDS is, although the number of people who die from Aids in 177 countries is less then the number which die, of Anorexia nervosa, in one year in one country (America).

The idea of freedom and benefit comes up again. Looking at a few statistics we see that it is the freedom to exploit a women's body to gain the most financial benefit.
For example with $33 billion p.a. diet industry at stake, it is not surprising that the abuses of dieting are not discussed. With a $20 billion p.a. cosmetics and a $7 billion p.a. pornographic industry at risk, it is not surprising that the exploitation of a women's body is not challenged.

From the stand points of freedom and enjoyment, the statistics of rape are acceptable to men. From the stand points of freedom and benefit, the idea that a woman is only looked upon according to parts of her anatomy is acceptable to the media and big businesses. BUT WHY SHOULD THESE STAND POINTS BE ACCEPTABLE TO WOMEN WHEN IT OPPRESSES THEM??

[goodsense]

Shy!

What are you trying to do? Call me out here (just joking) :D

I have losts to say, but will abstain. Want to see the response of others. Surely, most of it are based on personal values. My generation is in both, boats which can be frustrating. That's all I can say for now.

[pavalamani pragasam]

:clap: :clap: :clap:
Great post, Lambretta! :thumbsup:
How true and pathetic! :cry:

[Sandeep]

Good post Lamby,

But whats the way out.

[pavalamani pragasam]

MEDIA is the villain propagating bad ideas, trends, fashions motivated by MONEY! An awareness, counter-campaign can be of some use. Just a hope!

[goodsense]

Shyam,

Who is the author of this article?

Hope you are aware that in the west, it is found necessary that both husband and wife earn a salary in order to make ends meet, unless the husband is extremely rich/has an excellent job.

[pavalamani pragasam]

[tscii:8c436f9842]From today’s “Times of India”(international section):

…While everyone knows most women won’t be seen without make-up, just how much they pay for it may come as a shock. The average woman, according to research, is estimated to spend a staggering 182,528 pounds on beauty products in her adult lifetime-almost 7,000 pounds more than the typical cost of a three-bedroom home

The survey claims women splash out an average of 2,944 pounds a year on moisturizers, make-up and beauty treatments. The182,000 pounds figure –taken to be the total spent between ages of 18 and 80 –far strips recent research which suggests that in the course of a lifetime women snap up fashion worth 97,000pounds and shoes totaling 31,680pounds.

“New Woman” magazine, which commissioned the study, surveyed 5,000 women who spent an average 600pounds a year on pampering such as facials, massages and anti-aging treatments.

The survey found only 3% of women felt naturally beautiful while 1%-just 50 women-refused to wear any make-up at all. Seven in 10 of those who wore cosmetics said they thought it made them look sexier and they felt “happier with life”.

Women spent an average of 52 minutes every day plastering on beauty goods and kept an average 86 products stocked in their bathrooms.

..Liz Sutton, of the Get Lippy cruelty-free make-up campaign, warned that obsession with products may have gone too far.

She said:”Women are under a lot of pressure to look a certain way and to use cosmetics. They are bombarded with advertising. Young girls are targeted by magazines which carry advertising for make-up and beauty products while women in their 20s are being told to consider anti-aging cream, Botox and even plastic surgery.”
[/tscii:8c436f9842]

[Lambretta]

*DIGR*
Shy!
:shock: Plse......not this name!!
I've felt queasy enuff w/ Lammy after I realised the meaning behind tat name! :oops: :)
/DIGR


Shyam,
Who is the author of this article?

Hope you are aware that in the west, it is found necessary that both husband and wife earn a salary in order to make ends meet, unless the husband is extremely rich/has an excellent job.
Same pinch! :lol:
Believe it or not, its the same scenario in India too now! :(
Even I wasnt able to find out the author of this article......as I said, I found it posted in the msn groups.....the author or original source wasnt mentioned atall.....

[Lambretta]

Good post Lamby,

But whats the way out.
Tat I'm afraid can be left to the women only to find out.....in wich case I'm sure they'd be very very capable......IF a time comes wen they wish/decide to hav a way out of it, of course!
If u notice, the role-models even in our society for women hav changed tremendously in recent times.....the present ones being sum B'wood or glamour world celebs. (inc. models) w/ 'liberator' attitudes......so if, as u ask, ther shud be a way out, I wud say the role-models for the society must change first, wich wud begin to pave the way......!

[Lambretta]

Women spent an average of 52 minutes every day plastering on beauty goods and kept an average 86 products stocked in their bathrooms.
Tat reminds me wen my mother had gone to the US on a fellowship many yrs ago, she'd been a paying guest in the house of an American lady & told me tat her hostess wud spend 1/2 hr in the bathroom every morning after she got up- putting on make-up! And jus to go jogging for an hour or so.....! :)

[goodsense]

Don't make me die this early hour of the morning :lol: :? Well, you see I am getting use to Shyam. It's hard switching from Lammy to Shyam and if I call you Lamby I know I will go back to Lammy. It's feeling OK now although no one else here calls you Shyam.

[pavalamani pragasam]

[tscii:9fc4e6fa7b]From today’s ‘Hindustan Times,Mumbai’:
Generation tech lives in bubble world.

Washington.
Julie Beasley looked out of her window one morning and saw a teenager changing clothes in the middle of the street. “She opened a side door and dropped her pants. She took her pants off and reached in the car and pulled out a skirt. Then she put the skirt on and pulled off her sweatshirt,”says Beasley, 46, of Iowa city. “All of it surprises me. I think they’re oblivious to adults, period.”

To baby boomers and other adults of certain age, young people may seem rude, disrespectful and generally clueless about established social mores. But to social scientists, the phenomenon is more complicated.

Raised by parents who stressed individualism and informality, these young people grew p in a society that is more open and offers more choices than in their parents’ youth, says child and adolescent psychologist Dave Verhaagen of Charlotte.

Unlike their parents, they have never known anything but a world dominated by technology. Even their social lives revolve around the web, iPods and cellphones. So they dress down, talk loose and reveal their innermost thoughts online.

“Put that all together and you’ve got a generation that doesn’t have the same concept of privacy and personal boundaries as generations before,” Verhaagen says.

On top of that, young people don’t care as much about making a good impression as their parents and grandparents did growing up, says Jean Twenge, an associate professor of psychology at San Diego State University.

“Over time, these kids will bring a different attitude and shape the culture of business and interactions in a way that we haven’t seen before.”

But for now, it still drives some adults crazy when they see young people talking to parents and teachers the same casual way as they talk to their friends.
[/tscii:9fc4e6fa7b]

[vramesh]

whole discussion seems to be a paan-spitting bowl for moral police stuck in the 16th century and who feel unwanted today.

[pavalamani pragasam]

Thanx!!! Again an obvious shame!!!

[Hulkster]

Regarding about the exposure of one's body...let us remember that humans have changed their mindset and made themselves seem so civilised that showing one's body would be deemed as total indeceny. But from time immemorial perhaps the time of Krishna...women used to smear kumkum and tilak over their chest and did not always wore clothes. Perhaps our minds have become so modernised that we see this as a disgrace but maybe if our mindsets were still devoid of thoughts of sexuality we may not really see this as a shame.

When i say exposure i mean when the clothes are quite "wild". Not naked or half naked...that if done in this age where sexuality and the minds of human are totally civilised is a upheaval of reality that has been appearing since the years of kaliyuga.

[Lambretta]

Regarding about the exposure of one's body...let us remember that humans have changed their mindset and made themselves seem so civilised that showing one's body would be deemed as total indeceny. But from time immemorial perhaps the time of Krishna...women used to smear kumkum and tilak over their chest and did not always wore clothes. Perhaps our minds have become so modernised that we see this as a disgrace but maybe if our mindsets were still devoid of thoughts of sexuality we may not really see this as a shame.
When i say exposure i mean when the clothes are quite "wild". Not naked or half naked...that if done in this age where sexuality and the minds of human are totally civilised is a upheaval of reality that has been appearing since the years of kaliyuga.
Not a bad argument, hulk.....but if I might give my 2 cents....
As u urself mentioned, therz an "if" coming here, wich indicates only a possibility...& w. the way society is going today, the likelihood of such mindsets as u mentioned is unlikely to come.....:)
And yea u maybe right tat in the ancient times women wer less-clothed, but note tat was the case most likely bcos it HAPPENED to be tat way......in times of Ramayana/M'bharata etc. even men wernt clothed above the waist, but for sum shawl/loose upper cloth.....also this was a time much b4 the concept of stitched clothes existed! (I once read sumwhere tat tailoring of clothes wasnt allowed in Hinduism originally as those wer considered "impure" but am not sure of tat....), so it was NOT done w/ the same intention as is being done today in many cases courtesy of the fashion scenario aided by the pro-cosmo. media in the name of "modernism"!
If its the mindsets tat r to be changed, then how come being less-clothed isnt being encouraged in case of men as well as much as it is in case of women? On the contrary, officially (or in many cases even otherwise), its the men who r considered respectable/dignified if fully-clothed (eg. as in a suit/formal wear)! :roll:
Tat sure tells us sumthing, doesnt it? :wink:
It wudnt do to jus criticize the mindsets of today's society vs. the ancient ones, the circumstances hav changed over the ages so has the concept of decency reg. dressing.....I repeat, in the ancient times, it jus wudnt hav occurd to ppl. in most early societies of the world then, to be fully/more clothed....hence they followed tat way of dressing....:)

[Sanguine Sridhar]

Regarding about the exposure of one's body...let us remember that humans have changed their mindset and made themselves seem so civilised that showing one's body would be deemed as total indeceny. But from time immemorial perhaps the time of Krishna...women used to smear kumkum and tilak over their chest and did not always wore clothes. Perhaps our minds have become so modernised that we see this as a disgrace but maybe if our mindsets were still devoid of thoughts of sexuality we may not really see this as a shame.

When i say exposure i mean when the clothes are quite "wild". Not naked or half naked...that if done in this age where sexuality and the minds of human are totally civilised is a upheaval of reality that has been appearing since the years of kaliyuga.


Your arguments are of no use in this so called civilised/modernised world right? In this world where people are searching/showing sexuality in the dresses that others/they wear where does this mindsets,disgrace comes? Justify!

[Badri]

Your arguments are of no use in this so called civilised/modernised world right? In this world where people are searching/showing sexuality in the dresses that others/they wear where does this mindsets,disgrace comes? Justify!

It also depends on which part of the world you are. And I dont mean this only in sense of culture but also climate.

You see, the people of the tropics are more easily excited than the people of the temperates. A nude or semi nude image would cause more tittilation amongst say Indians than among Scandinavians!

In countries like Germany, Norway, Sweden etc, they even have common unisex saunas where people are completely nude and at ease. There is not the slightest hint of sexual tension! Imagine the same in India!!!

Indian culture deems nudity as taboo precisely because of the hot tempered nature of Indians. It is almost as though the heat of the region infuses into the blood, making it hot!!!

Of course, not so much physiologically as psychologically.

Which is why, a scantily clad person in the Western countries does not produce the same response as in an Eastern or mid-Eastern countries.

Ultimately, one comes to realize that these "cultural restrictions" are aimed at ensuring a fair amount of morality in society

[Hulkster]

Regarding about the exposure of one's body...let us remember that humans have changed their mindset and made themselves seem so civilised that showing one's body would be deemed as total indeceny. But from time immemorial perhaps the time of Krishna...women used to smear kumkum and tilak over their chest and did not always wore clothes. Perhaps our minds have become so modernised that we see this as a disgrace but maybe if our mindsets were still devoid of thoughts of sexuality we may not really see this as a shame.

When i say exposure i mean when the clothes are quite "wild". Not naked or half naked...that if done in this age where sexuality and the minds of human are totally civilised is a upheaval of reality that has been appearing since the years of kaliyuga.


Your arguments are of no use in this so called civilised/modernised world right? In this world where people are searching/showing sexuality in the dresses that others/they wear where does this mindsets,disgrace comes? Justify!

Vaango sridhar :D....In those days..i mean around the age of Krishna...Humans used to view purity in the sense of heart and act rather than clothes...roman times also had woman in half naked clothes..there are even statues of our gods depicted in half nudity at times. But as time went by men and women thought that nudity should be only allowed to ones own privacy and also to their life partners. As generations and generations went by their mindset changed to view humans as full clothed and morality(civilised behaviour) also got instilled in them. So if a woman or man is half naked in the sense of the way their clothes are dressed...the opposite sex will feel very distracted and to others who are quite strict on such things...they will feel disgraced and angry. But if they had retained the old mindset of not viewing the person by his nudity or dress sense...then it would be quite different.

Lamby good points...that is a more elaborate translation fo what i had just said..:D.

BTW a question to all of you all...lets say our mindset was like in those roman times...we did not view nudity as indecency and rather judged a persons decency with the way they presented themselves in their character and talk....how would we feel if we were to see a member of the opposite sex walking with "wild" clothes?

[pavalamani pragasam]

Well said, badri! :clap:
Level-headed thinking to be maintained so that our happiness & dignity will not be swept away from under our feet by the waves of globalisation.

[Lambretta]

BTW a question to all of you all...lets say our mindset was like in those roman times...we did not view nudity as indecency and rather judged a persons decency with the way they presented themselves in their character and talk....how would we feel if we were to see a member of the opposite sex walking with "wild" clothes?
As I said, it makes a lot of differnce from reality wen the "IF" or "lets say" factor comes into the pic. here, hulk! :wink: :)

[pavalamani pragasam]

Here is something to add a touch of humour to serious discussions:

From today's "The Times of India, Mumbai":

Do you need training to woo a woman?

A New York-based school trains men to charm women! So, what do our 'desi' dudes have to say?

"Do we really need to 'learn' how to sweep a woman off her feet?" Most self-respecting guys would scoff at the suggestion of learning to woo a lady of their dreams. But a New York-based 'charm school' would have us believe otherwise. The school prides itself on making any man better at meeting and dating women, by just spending a weekend at a school!

....How would such a school go down with our very own 'desi' dudes?

"More than anything, I think that such an idea is hilarious for words. May be it works in a country like America where people probably think that they need to be taught such things. But India is the land of the Kamasutra and Kajuraho. we already know it all - in fact we knew it 3000 years ago!" says 21-year-old MBA student Prateek radia with a smirk.

"Wooing a girl is something that cannot be taught and I wouldn't be caught dead in a place like a charm school. I am imagining some weird love guru-like person belting out instructions to a bunch of helpless guys, listening intently to his every word," guffaws a 27-year-old flight attendant.

"Giving us a woman's point of view, Kajal Lalkaka says that she'd rather be wooed by the heart rather than by the book. " They make the entire act of wooing sound so clinical by having a course on it," grimaces the 19 year-old student. "I think that it is quite a turn off to know that the guy has mugged all those charming lines rather than spouting them from the heart."

Charm school or not one thing about us Indians is clear, we prefer the act of wooing and being wooed, direct 'dil se'!

[Lambretta]

......."May be it works in a country like America where people probably think that they need to be taught such things. But India is the land of the Kamasutra and Kajuraho. we already know it all - in fact we knew it 3000 years ago!" says 21-year-old MBA student Prateek radia with a smirk.
:roll: :huh:

[padmanabha]

read the article. i think it has become the order of the day. even in kerala, the most literate state, abuse of girl children, teenagers, and even senior citizens are not spared. there is no body to guide us. over exposure of the media is one of the reasons. parents have no time to look after their children. for most of them the priorities are differnt. In kerala , curently there is an allegation involving the minister p j joseph for misbehaviour. the C M said "that was an old lady". does he means that old lady can be abused? and sexually harassed? long back C M E. K Nayanar remarked "raping is like taking a cup of tea. it is as simple as that." inspite of high literacy, women hesitates to react. suicide is not a solution. kerala is state where maximum suicide is reported.
even if some body is punished for this offence(rape) he will come out in bail easily.

[Sandeep]

Its because of the media that all these cases are coming to light. If it comes that media does not report sexual abuses and thus bring down the recorded number of incidents, then the state of women will be dismal.

What should the parents do, follow their children where ever they go to protect them.

What P.J. Joseph said is that the lady is too old for him to feel like doing something of that sort. Then Nayanar's was a cynical comment on the dismal state of women in our society. He was not celebrating it but rather mourning on it.

It is only in Kerala that an female IAS officer can complain against a minister and get him removed (Neelan case) and where else can a housewife give complain against a Minister and CM himself orders a female IG to travel to Kochi and Chennai to find the truth (P.J.Joseph). Yesterday I was seeing in Asianet how the media is following I.G.Sandhya (who is enquiring the case) whereever she goes for the investigation.

I do agree that most criminals escape because our Judiciary sets free 1000 criminals to ensure 1 innocent is not punished. But our society exposes them to the max and destroy them socially.

[pavalamani pragasam]

[tscii:dc58aa3fdb]A boon or bane?


Recently our friend's daughter underwent a surgery in a very famous hospital by a very renowned, experienced surgeon. But the whole story leaves a bitter taste in the mouth. She had a harmless ganglion removed from her right wrist- a purely cosmetic surgical procedure which can be done as an OP(outpatient) affair requiring just a few minutes. But what happened was a real good surgery with heavy anaesthesia followed by a few hours observation in the ICU & overnight stay in the hospital room. A treatment that need not exceed Rs.3ooo was charged as Rs.14000! All because the girl's husband had applied for & had claimed medical insurance! The story does not end there! The bloodsoaked big bandage was changed 2 days after, the sutures removed 6 days later. The whole upper palm below the wrist was swollen & painful, she couldn't move her wrist freely. The suture mark is a swollen eyesore. Having utterly lost faith in the 'famous' surgeon running the posh hospital a la mode a star hotel with diet kitchen et al, she went to her aunt, a general practitioner who diagnosed severe infection & prescribed very powerful, costly antibiotics, hot water baths, physiotherapy, external applications etc. The aunt was chagrined at the very crude way her niece’s palm had been cut into. Her verdict is the operation theatre too had not been maintained in an aseptic condition for such infection to develop.

It is a pity the girl who had waited for many years, consulting many doctors in many cities, postponing the surgery for her kids to grow up at last landed in such a sorry state. With the mediclaim she had she could easily have approached a plastic surgeon. A humble girl she is, she thought it too much of a fuss to do so.

The question now is medical insurance a boon or bane? Does it tempt the noble profession to forsake all medical ethics for the sake of gain? Why torment gullible patients with unnecessary pain & discomfort? Commercialization of service if added to ineffiency makes the patients prey to unexpected harm & expenses. Rackets of kidney thefts manage to get a place in the news headlines but not such business rampant in the city hospitals along with compelling patients to unnecessary, costly tests & treatments just for the sake of fleecing money out of them.

A shame!
[/tscii:dc58aa3fdb]

[dev]

"noble" profession.... :roll: :twisted:

[pavalamani pragasam]

Some black sheep spoiling the fame of the profession!

[dev]

'some' ellam poye ippo 'many' aagita maathiri thonuthu... :(

[Lambretta]

True....:( :x

[pavalamani pragasam]

In this week's issue of the popular weekly, Ananda Vikatan, the popular writer, S.Ramakrishnan says in his column,

"EraaLamaana peNkaL thangkaL kalvith thakuthiyai maRanthu, samayalaRaikaLil uppu, puLi, miLakaayOdu odungkiyirukkiRaarkaL"

Somehow such a statement makes me uncontrollably angry & sad at once. In the name of pseudo liberation/emancipation/empowerment/enlightenment the fair sex is pathetically, tragically misled to mismanaging their priorities. Where else do they get wrong signals to lose their correct sense of life & happiness other than from such 'sympathisers'?


:argh: :curse: :curse: :cry2:

[dsath]

In this week's issue of the popular weekly, Ananda Vikatan, the popular writer, S.Ramakrishnan says in his column,

"EraaLamaana peNkaL thangkaL kalvith thakuthiyai maRanthu, samayalaRaikaLil uppu, puLi, miLakaayOdu odungkiyirukkiRaarkaL"

Somehow such a statement makes me uncontrollably angry & sad at once. In the name of pseudo liberation/emancipation/empowerment/enlightenment the fair sex is pathetically, tragically misled to mismanaging their priorities. Where else do they get wrong signals to lose their correct sense of life & happiness other than such 'sympathisers'?

:argh: :curse: :curse: :cry2:
Hmm the age old question of feminism. I think true liberation and empowerment is the freedom for a woman to choose - choose what she wants to do and respect her choice. If a woman opts to work, then the society looked down at her for 'neglecting' her family (thankfully this is not a big deal now) .
If a woman opts to be 'homemaker' or a housewife or whatever they want to call it, she is accused of neglecting her career-education.
Don't know when true liberation will knock on our door. May be we should not wait for it to knock - we should go and bring it home.

[tiruttakkan]

liberation/emancipation/empowerment/enlightenment and not pseudo! Women have the right to decide whether cooking is a burden or a pleasure to them. Also if she is conditioned to think that the way the men behave is because that is what God desires, then that's another fraud on her. A woman can have multiple sex partners-YOU MAY NOT LIKE IT! IT DOESN"T MATTER.

Moral police needs to be banned. They should be punished. Very soon people can't afford to say they are sad to see a progressive world and they want to support only the MCP's!

Only now women are getting aware of their rights. The greatest thing happening is that people like you are not able to CONFUSE them!

Tiruttakkan

[Fire111999]

women who decide to become a homemaker have to realise that this decision should be based on the importance that they give to taking care of their home, husband and especially children being greater than the importance that they give to their possible career. in which case, she would not feel that she's wasting her education by not pursuing her career. she would feel that she's achieving a lot more by bringing up her children properly. her decision to stay at home should not be made because she's a female and that's what is expected of her.

if a woman is capable of achieving sth of more importance in their career, then the couple would have to share the responsibility of taking care of their home and bring up their children. it is unfair to expect such a woman to give up her career and waste her education to stay at home and take care of her home and children, if the same is not expected of men.

taking care of the house, bringing up the children, and bringing in the income for the household. these are all the different responsibilities that have to be shared by a couple. a woman should not be forced to take up the responsibility for taking care of the house and bringing up the children just because she's female.

and today's working couples have to learn to balance all their responsibilities. a working woman should not be expected to solely take care of the house and the children on top of her office work. the man has a share in those responsibilities too.

[dsath]

<dig>
Hello Fire, long time no see.
How are you doing.
</dig>

[Fire111999]

<dig>
Hello Fire, long time no see.
How are you doing.
</dig>

i know. more than a year now, i think. i'm good, thanks. exam time again actually. ought not to be coming to the hub. but just popped by a few days ago. so have been reading some of the topics now. anyway, how are you?

[pavalamani pragasam]

Thanx, tt! You know very well I am not to be booed down, daunted by accusations of 'moral policing' If you fail to see my genuine care for happiness of a healthy humankind it is your loss, not mine! May god or devil save the kind of women you stand up for!!! Yes, a growing section of the modern women are not 'confused' about what they want!!! May not their kind flourish in the long run! My devout belief & prayer!

[dsath]

i know. more than a year now, i think. i'm good, thanks. exam time again actually. ought not to be coming to the hub. but just popped by a few days ago. so have been reading some of the topics now. anyway, how are you?
I am alright, thanks Fire. Good luck with your exams. :)

[Fire111999]

I am alright, thanks Fire. Good luck with your exams. :)
thanks. :D

[Fire111999]

Thanx, tt! You know very well I am not to be booed down, daunted by accusations of 'moral policing' If you fail to see my genuine care for happiness of a healthy humankind it is your loss, not mine! May god or devil save the kind of women you stand up for!!! Yes, a growing section of the modern women are not 'confused' about what they want!!! May not their kind flourish in the long run! My devout belief & prayer!

pp madam, do u really think that a woman should stay at home rather than pursue her career, regardless of whatever she is capable of achieving in her career? i am not saying that the proper unbringing of children is not important. but that is not exclusively a woman's job. for working couples, this responsibility can be shared by the couple.

[thamizhvaanan]

Actually this discussion took place in hub almost an year back... just jobless enuf to find the link :wink:

http://forumhub.mayyam.com/hub/viewtopic.php?p=545154#545154

[pavalamani pragasam]

TV! :lol: arumaiyaana paattu onnu njaapagam varuthu: 'araicha maavai araippOmaa, thuvacha thuNiya thuvaippOmaa?' What an evergreen subject!

Fire! What is it you call achievement? Pay packets? What if you get your husband's to spend as you wish? A woman at home is a whole cabinet of parliamentary ministers, governing ALL the departments. Women can excel in everything whereas men have limitations...there are many things they just can't do, visualise or manipulate! With such inborn, inherent ingenuity & naturally endowed powers to shape & keep warm a nest, making meaningful life for herself & her spouse where does the necessity rise to prove her mettle neglecting her vital role from the home!

My grandfathers were emperors & grandmothers were empresses ruling parelle kingdoms most efficiently, complementing their efforts for the welfare of the whole family. the emergence of nucleus families does not call for change of roles. The home, the children, the quality of life/existence of a career woman & a homemaker definitely differ vastly! You choose what you want, what you think is important. Priorities are shifting. Truths are not.

[Fire111999]

no. not just the salary. going to a job is not just about bringing home the salary. it's abt the job itself as well. if a woman is capable of contributing to her job, her company, the economy of the country, or have some sort of positive impact on the world (for e.g. through research in sustainable development or in renewable resources of energy) using her intelligence, abilities and education, she should be allowed to choose to do so, instead of being accused of ignoring her home and children. i agree that a woman at home is able to contribute substantially to the wellbeing of her home and her children. but don't think to suppress a woman by artificially raising the position of a woman at home and the importance of taking care of the children. husband and wife can share that responsibility. please don't be so narrow minded as to say that working is only for the salary and to prove her mettle.

[Fire111999]

anyway, i ought to be studying for my exams now. so i don't think i'll reply to this topic anymore. but i'm not running away. i just can't put in the time to convince you right now. and i'm sure that there are others who share my views and will continue my argument.

[pavalamani pragasam]

Fire, don't worry! Neither need you to convince me nor I you! with your concepts of not wasting your intelligence & the money invested for your studies, the university honours you received...though I do have the time unlike you I am least inclined to argue with you!!!

[Lambretta]

liberation/emancipation/empowerment/enlightenment and not pseudo! Women have the right to decide whether cooking is a burden or a pleasure to them. Also if she is conditioned to think that the way the men behave is because that is what God desires, then that's another fraud on her. A woman can have multiple sex partners-YOU MAY NOT LIKE IT! IT DOESN"T MATTER.

Moral police needs to be banned. They should be punished. Very soon people can't afford to say they are sad to see a progressive world and they want to support only the MCP's!

Only now women are getting aware of their rights. The greatest thing happening is that people like you are not able to CONFUSE them!

Tiruttakkan
Well friend,
the above comments were expressed by u bcs u truly believe u have the right to, in a free society, right?
So SIMILARLY, someone even who does want to (putting in ur terms) act as 'Moral Police' has the right to have their say in the same society. Just as u think u or the media need to have the freedom to advocate such uh, revoultionary behaviour on behalf of women in the name of rights, someone else has the right to see it as wrong too! :D
So there's nothing wrong in them (in this case PP ma'm) opposing it! 'hope this doesnt CONFUSE u! :D

[dev]

Well friend,
the above comments were expressed by u bcs u truly believe u have the right to, in a free society, right?
So SIMILARLY, someone even who does want to (putting in ur terms) act as 'Moral Police' has the right to have their say in the same society. Just as u think u or the media need to have the freedom to advocate such uh, revoultionary behaviour on behalf of women in the name of rights, someone else has the right to see it as wrong too! :D
So there's nothing wrong in them (in this case PP ma'm) opposing it! 'hope this doesnt CONFUSE u! :D

:yes: :exactly:

[Lambretta]

women who decide to become a homemaker have to realise that this decision should be based on the importance that they give to taking care of their home, husband and especially children being greater than the importance that they give to their possible career. in which case, she would not feel that she's wasting her education by not pursuing her career.
Hi Fire, nice to see u back! :D
Neways, bout ur above statement reg. careers, what if the woman in qsn. doesnt really believe/have interest in having what is called a possible career & thus not really concerned bout getting a high level of education?


she would feel that she's achieving a lot more by bringing up her children properly. her decision to stay at home should not be made because she's a female and that's what is expected of her.
Uh, dont u feel tat the present trend of women going for a 'career' is also in most cases, something tat is expected of them as 'forward-thinking' women? I know there r many girls who r not really int'd in all tat but jus compelled to by their parents/society.... :roll:


if a woman is capable of achieving sth of more importance in their career
Yes, but at the cost of spending quality time w/ her family? I often wonder, if a career in this case really is important, even in case of men for tat matter. I find many who say "I love my job/career" & dont mind being stuck in it @ the cost of giving their time to their family.......y get married & have a family in tat case? :roll:


it is unfair to expect such a woman to give up her career and waste her education to stay at home and take care of her home and children, if the same is not expected of men.
Ur right tat every couple has to share responsibilites, in other words there has to be a balance. But as for wasting her education, if its true tat women has the right to choose wat kind of life they want, then the same goes for this as well......upto the women to choose whether to utilise their edu. or not......:huh: :)

[Lambretta]

:yes: :exactly:
:ty: :)

[Lambretta]

Thanx, tt! You know very well I am not to be booed down, daunted by accusations of 'moral policing' If you fail to see my genuine care for happiness of a healthy humankind it is your loss, not mine! May god or devil save the kind of women you stand up for!!! Yes, a growing section of the modern women are not 'confused' about what they want!!! May not their kind flourish in the long run! My devout belief & prayer!
pp madam, do u really think that a woman should stay at home rather than pursue her career, regardless of whatever she is capable of achieving in her career? i am not saying that the proper unbringing of children is not important. but that is not exclusively a woman's job. for working couples, this responsibility can be shared by the couple.
Fire, I think u misunderstood PP ma'mz reply here- she'd posted it in response to Thiruttakkan's statements bout women having multiple sex partners as a right, moral policing interfering w/ this 'right' of theirs, etc. etc. Check this post:


liberation/emancipation/empowerment/enlightenment and not pseudo! Women have the right to decide whether cooking is a burden or a pleasure to them. Also if she is conditioned to think that the way the men behave is because that is what God desires, then that's another fraud on her. A woman can have multiple sex partners-YOU MAY NOT LIKE IT! IT DOESN"T MATTER.
Moral police needs to be banned. They should be punished. Very soon people can't afford to say they are sad to see a progressive world and they want to support only the MCP's!

Only now women are getting aware of their rights. The greatest thing happening is that people like you are not able to CONFUSE them!
Tiruttakkan

[Fire111999]

In this week's issue of the popular weekly, Ananda Vikatan, the popular writer, S.Ramakrishnan says in his column,

"EraaLamaana peNkaL thangkaL kalvith thakuthiyai maRanthu, samayalaRaikaLil uppu, puLi, miLakaayOdu odungkiyirukkiRaarkaL"

Somehow such a statement makes me uncontrollably angry & sad at once. In the name of pseudo liberation/emancipation/empowerment/enlightenment the fair sex is pathetically, tragically misled to mismanaging their priorities. Where else do they get wrong signals to lose their correct sense of life & happiness other than from such 'sympathisers'?


:argh: :curse: :curse: :cry2:

anna, my response was actually refering to this post. sorry for the confusion. i still maintain that women should be able to choose their life. i am not saying that a career is always more important than time spent with children. i greatly agree that spending time and effort on the proper upbringing of children is extremely important. but a woman should not be forced to stay at home. otherwise she will regret it. she has to realise the importance of her contribution to the family if she decides to become a homemaker. and that is equal to the guy's contribution of bringing in the bread. but if by going to a job, she can contribute more to the world than just bringing home the salary, she should not be restrained from doing so. if she chooses to do so. once again, it's her choice. no one should force her to work. no one should force her to stay at home. she has to be able to review her priorities herself. and IMO, today's women, together with their life partners, are capable of handling both work and family life sucessfully. this should be encouraged as well.

anyways, no more posts from me after this. sorry. exams are near.

[pavalamani pragasam]

Lambretta! :clap: :ty:

[Lambretta]

In this week's issue of the popular weekly, Ananda Vikatan, the popular writer, S.Ramakrishnan says in his column,

"EraaLamaana peNkaL thangkaL kalvith thakuthiyai maRanthu, samayalaRaikaLil uppu, puLi, miLakaayOdu odungkiyirukkiRaarkaL"

Somehow such a statement makes me uncontrollably angry & sad at once. In the name of pseudo liberation/emancipation/empowerment/enlightenment the fair sex is pathetically, tragically misled to mismanaging their priorities. Where else do they get wrong signals to lose their correct sense of life & happiness other than from such 'sympathisers'?

:argh: :curse: :curse: :cry2:
anna, my response was actually refering to this post. sorry for the confusion.
Tats ok....:)
Neways, I'm afraid try as I might I cudnt exactly comprehend what the Tamil statement by the Vikatan writer means....so cant comment on tat...... :oops: :(
Blame it on my ignorance of literary Tamizh..... :ashamed:
But neways, its no point fuming at the media either.....creating controversy by posting 'juicy' stuff is their USP (Universal selling point).....the more we entertain their content, the more we fill up our mind w/ -ve thots! :|


she can contribute more to the world than just bringing home the salary
Uh, I'm afraid I dont quite see how this is possible....unless u mean being forced to part w/ ur salary for tax deductions etc. every month, not to mention paying VAT etc. while buying consumer goods w. ur salary, thus 'contributing' to someone (not nec. the world) other than ur family....:P


and IMO, today's women, together with their life partners, are capable of handling both work and family life sucessfully.
I'm afraid I dont quite agree w/ u on this.....:sigh2: :|
Neways, its ur right to think so......as I said, we live in a free society! :D


anyways, no more posts from me after this. sorry. exams are near.
Same here.......:sigh2:
But cudnt resist posting here today.....
Ok better run now...:yessir:


Lambretta! :clap: :ty:
:D

[pavalamani pragasam]

Lambretta, the statement just means many women are forced to stay confined within the kitchen along with the grocery items like tamarind etc in spite of their educational qualifications. The tone is highly offensive, degrading housewives who may well be educated & content to do magic with grocery!!!

[Fire111999]

she can contribute more to the world than just bringing home the salary
Uh, I'm afraid I dont quite see how this is possible....unless u mean being forced to part w/ ur salary for tax deductions etc. every month, not to mention paying VAT etc. while buying consumer goods w. ur salary, thus 'contributing' to someone (not nec. the world) other than ur family....:P

no, it could be through a lots of ways. a scientist will contribute through her research, a doctor can save pple's lifes, etc. it's not all abt the money! if it were so, parents don't have to take care of their children themselves. they can just pay someone to do it for them.



anyways, no more posts from me after this. sorry. exams are near.
Same here.......:sigh2:
But cudnt resist posting here today.....
Ok better run now...:yessir:

atb!

[Lambretta]

Lambretta, the statement just means many women are forced to stay confined within the kitchen along with the grocery items like tamarind etc in spite of their educational qualifications. The tone is highly offensive, degrading housewives who may well be educated & content to do magic with grocery!!!
Hmm.......true! No doubt a very degrading statement! :oops: :evil:
I must say many ppl. esp. those fuelled by this controversy-spweing media articles still hold a wrong notion bout the concept of housewives......just bcos a woman happens to be one (whether w/ or against her wish is a diff'nt issue here) doesnt mean she would just rot in the house w/out being capable of doing nething, like an old car tat no longer serves on a daily basis & is just kept in the garage as a 'showpiece'! :roll:
For eg. nowadays there r abundant free enterprise ventures in our country tat r home-related & happen to be hugely successful w/ homemakers who want independant modes of earning incomes w/out having to go thru the daily monotonous drudge of rushing to & fro w/ 9-5 (or even longer) job routines for a fixed paycheck!
The way I look at it, in today's world, there r more (productive) ventures open to housewives rather than to those who r caught w/ busy career-oriented lives! :)

[Lambretta]

no, it could be through a lots of ways. a scientist will contribute through her research, a doctor can save pple's lifes, etc. it's not all abt the money!
True again......'not saying careers r bad......but then, jus think for a moment.........given a choice, would u rather give the best of ur time to ur spouse/children or to someone else for a period of time?


if it were so, parents don't have to take care of their children themselves. they can just pay someone to do it for them.
Well, this does happen to be the case in many households today neways.... :(


atb!
:ty:
And sorry forgot to wish u the same! :oops:

[thamizhvaanan]

I dunno wats the big confusion here... the bottomline is, women shud be allowed to do what they feel like doing, be it house chores or office work.

But then, the responsibility rests with the woman to make the best choice. Best choice is always subjective, subjective w.r.to demands of the situation as well as the capability of the woman :roll:

[Lambretta]

I dunno wats the big confusion here... the bottomline is, women shud be allowed to do what they feel like doing, be it house chores or office work.
TV, its not as easy as saying it dude........jus put urself in the shoes of sumone whoz married & then think wat it'll be like......sure its ok as long as there is a balance between the 2........which mind u, RARELY is the case nowadays w/ jobs getting more & more stressful/demanding than a regular 8-hr/day routine! In fact going to the extent of making committment to family a choice! :(

[Fire111999]

no, it could be through a lots of ways. a scientist will contribute through her research, a doctor can save pple's lifes, etc. it's not all abt the money!
True again......'not saying careers r bad......but then, jus think for a moment.........given a choice, would u rather give the best of ur time to ur spouse/children or to someone else for a period of time?

same qn goes for men. so no one should work in the world?

and actually, it's not a strict choice b/w the two options. it's a matter of juggling both work and home life.

[Fire111999]

Lambretta, the statement just means many women are forced to stay confined within the kitchen along with the grocery items like tamarind etc in spite of their educational qualifications. The tone is highly offensive, degrading housewives who may well be educated & content to do magic with grocery!!!
2 pts: firstly, it should be her choice. she shouldn't feel obligated to stay at home.

secondly, staying at home is not to do the cooking or the cleaning. the main reason for staying at home is for creating a nice homely environment and most importantly to take care of the children. cooking, cleaning, etc can be done by someone you hire. but you shouldn't hire someone to look after children.

[Lambretta]

same qn goes for men. so no one should work in the world?
I certainly agree the same goes for men....I def. look fwd to having such a choice too.....the men happen to work is bcos of the simple reason tat the income depends on atleast 1 individual's ability to work....so someone has got to go out there & work.....& much as u may find this disturbing, I had rather tat it dont be the women in the house unless it becomes abs. necessary (in which case its usually a compulsion for a supplementary income)....


and actually, it's not a strict choice b/w the two options. it's a matter of juggling both work and home life.
Depends on how u see it........sum see it as a choice, some as a combo...

[Lambretta]

secondly, staying at home is not to do the cooking or the cleaning. the main reason for staying at home is for creating a nice homely environment and most importantly to take care of the children. cooking, cleaning, etc can be done by someone you hire. but you shouldn't hire someone to look after children.
Or to provide a homely atmosphere. Good point, precisely wat I missed out including in my earleir psots! :D

Neways, this is all for my posting here as I've got to go sleep now.......cyl!

[dsath]

[tscii:1762e00377]The concept of women working outside their home is not new to Indian and certainly not new to TamilNadu.
In my grandmother’s village i have seen women who go work in the fields in the morning and come back in the evening. Women whose families owned lands worked in their fields and the ones who didn't have their own worked in other’s fields. If they had babies or small children they took the children with them to work and the older children went to schools and played on their own. Can we accuse those women of neglecting their families and not inducing a family friendly environment at home? No because they did what did for survival. It is the same now and women are doing what they are doing now for survival.
What is required here is respecting people and their decision and much more importantly not judging them. Both men and women who choose family over career or vice versa should not be judged. Is the modern society not filled with enough pressure and stress that we want some more in the form of people judging us all the time.
[/tscii:1762e00377][font=Arial, sans-serif]

[Lambretta]

While I sympathise with ur views, I wish to emphasise on my earlier point that women (or even men for tat matter) dont really need wht is called a 'career' (namely a job) to make an income on their own, as there r many flexible avenues for earning incomes w.out having to be tied up in a stereotyped 9-5 routine outside the home.
So even women staying at home dont have to be jus like the furniture/grocery in the house!
Y look at only jobs as a mandatory vehicle to earn money?
And IMO, things like 'career' have lately become words to impress the society & create an aura of 'status' more than nething else!

[dsath]

While I sympathise with ur views, I wish to emphasise on my earlier point that women (or even men for tat matter) dont really need wht is called a 'career' (namely a job) to make an income on their own, as there r many flexible avenues for earning incomes w.out having to be tied up in a stereotyped 9-5 routine outside the home.
So even women staying at home dont have to be jus like the furniture/grocery in the house!
Y look at only jobs as a mandatory vehicle to earn money?
And IMO, things like 'career' have lately become words to impress the society & create an aura of 'status' more than nething else!
Not everyone has the luxury of choosing not to work in a 9-5 job. Career is not only to impress people. IMO chasing careers is hardwired into the human system. It is called survival. If one doesn't seize an opportunity esp in a developing country like India, then one will be left behind. Most of the women and men chase their careers to provide better lifestyle for their families and themselves. Now the definition of better lifestyle varies, but the motive is unquestionable.
What is wrong in having career aspirations? - aspirations are important for human survival and evolution. If not for that, how could the human species survive. If we were happy being hunter - gatherers, then humans would not have been the most successful species in this world, we would be extinct long ago.

[Lambretta]

What is wrong in having career aspirations? - aspirations are important for human survival and evolution. If not for that, how could the human species survive. If we were happy being hunter - gatherers, then humans would not have been the most successful species in this world, we would be extinct long ago.
I'm not saying we should revert to being hunters/gatherers. Definitely we should aspire for oppurtunities for a better life. But y must that be only in the form of a job/career?? Infact ppl. going in this line happen to be so caught up in the routine mechanical cycle it creates tat they forget about whatever aspirations in life they had while choosing it!
And no, choosing some other venture (I dont mean not doing anything for a living) is not a question of luxury, its just choice.
I might be digressing from the topic here but what I mean to stress is how jobs are being projected as the ultimate way of survival in society, esp. in ours, where stereotyped thinking exists in this regard! Thus ppl. think that those (inc. women) who want to think out of the box by choosing not to pursue a job for the rest of their active lives are worthless!
Believe it or not, even India is changing in the sense that unlike earlier, a job need not be the only way to survive (for men or for women) or be successful in life. There are many ventures in India nowadays, where women with the lowest educational qualifications & total lack of career-orientation have come up as well as, or even better than those choosing the conventional 9-5 career-oriented routine.

[Shekhar]

My wife is a house wife.

She has more money in the bank account than me. (She never shows me her pass book, but I know :wink: )
She has more freedom than me.
She has more leisure time than me.
She has more dresses than me. (many times more !!!)
She has lot of jewels. I have none.
I have bosses. She has none.
I can hardly command in office and get away with it. She does all the time at home, and gets away with it every time.
She has a good, faithful, servant at home who also earns money for her. I have none.
She doesnot have to worry about phone bill, electricity bill, gas bill etc., because she has somebody else to pay. But I have to.
She has a chaffeur who has bought the car for her and pays for the maintenence. I dont.

Now, what are you guys talking about?!!!

[dev]

:lol: @ shekhar...

[Roshan]

My wife is a house wife.

She has more money in the bank account than me. (She never shows me her pass book, but I know :wink: )
She has more freedom than me.
She has more leisure time than me.
She has more dresses than me. (many times more !!!)
She has lot of jewels. I have none.
I have bosses. She has none.
I can hardly command in office and get away with it. She does all the time at home, and gets away with it every time.
She has a good, faithful, servant at home who also earns money for her. I have none.
She doesnot have to worry about phone bill, electricity bill, gas bill etc., because she has somebody else to pay. But I have to.
She has a chaffeur who has bought the car for her and pays for the maintenence. I dont.

Now, what are you guys talking about?!!!

:rotfl: :rotfl:

Shekhar,

No wonder you were missed so much :lol:

[Fire111999]

lol shekar, swap positions then. no prob.

[pavalamani pragasam]

Shekhar, that is a classic posting, again! :rotfl:
All women should naturally envy your wife, aspire for a similar position. Under all that complaining I detect a great pride for being her MAN! :wink: You forgot to add she is 'educated'- because that is the bone of contention now! :lol:

[Shakthiprabha.]

My wife is a house wife.

She has more money in the bank account than me. (She never shows me her pass book, but I know :wink: )
She has more freedom than me.
She has more leisure time than me.
She has more dresses than me. (many times more !!!)
She has lot of jewels. I have none.
I have bosses. She has none.
I can hardly command in office and get away with it. She does all the time at home, and gets away with it every time.
She has a good, faithful, servant at home who also earns money for her. I have none.
She doesnot have to worry about phone bill, electricity bill, gas bill etc., because she has somebody else to pay. But I have to.
She has a chaffeur who has bought the car for her and pays for the maintenence. I dont.

Now, what are you guys talking about?!!!

welcome back shekar. :)

I very used to these dialgoes, dont ask me HOW :lol:

[MazhaiKuruvi]

.
Now, what are you guys talking about?!!!

The freedom to choose. Perhaps your wife did get that freedom, many women don't.


lol shekar, swap positions then. no prob.

Shekar, if it made your wife happy, would you be willing to? :)

[Fire111999]

.
Now, what are you guys talking about?!!!

The freedom to choose. Perhaps your wife did get that freedom, many women don't.


lol shekar, swap positions then. no prob.

Shekar, if it made your wife happy, would you be willing to? :)

heya! thanks for ur qns! i didn't want to start it all over again myself. btw, do i know u?

[thamizhvaanan]

:rotfl2:

[Shekhar]

Shekhar, that is a classic posting, again! :rotfl:
All women should naturally envy your wife, aspire for a similar position. Under all that complaining I detect a great pride for being her MAN! :wink: You forgot to add she is 'educated'- because that is the bone of contention now! :lol:

Oh yea!! She is highly educated. She is masters degree in 'Life Management', and I am a PU fail in 'Wife Management'

[Shekhar]

.
Now, what are you guys talking about?!!!

Perhaps your wife did get that freedom

Do you know how she got that freedom? She just took mine. !!! :lol: :lol:

[MazhaiKuruvi]

.
Now, what are you guys talking about?!!!

Perhaps your wife did get that freedom

Do you know how she got that freedom? She just took mine. !!! :lol: :lol:

indha level-headednessum sense of humourum endha universitilum solli kodukka mudiyaadhadhu. :clap:

[pavalamani pragasam]

So, what do we do now? Encourage her tribe to grow & multiply or whip up dissent, dissatisfaction in poor housewives? :wink: Join hands with all the feminists with their new-fangled ideas about women's liberation? :lol:

[Fire111999]

not saying that being a housewife is bad. just saying a girl shouldn't be forced into it.

and being a housewife is also about what shekar didn't talk about, creating a nice homely environment and taking good care of the children. that is the aspect of being a housewife that girls should aspire to fulfil if they want to be housewives, not just aspire for all the comforts that shekar has pointed out.

and what do we do about pple who seem to think that educated women working is a crime? should we join them in oppressing girls into being housewives?

[MazhaiKuruvi]

enna pannuvadhunu yOsippOm....

Respect every human being, male or female and/or physically or mentally challenged
Once we respect, automatically, we respect their dreams and goals
Then, we will stop using pazhamozhis like..

pombalai sirichhaa
azhuhira aanaiyum sirikkira pombalaiyum nambadha
mudam kombu thenukku asai pattathu etc. etc.

Now, there is room for compromise and everyone can encourage each other to achieve their best.

A home has to be built by both husband and wife, encouraging each other, not being selfish, not expecting one partner to sacrifice her/his goals for the sake of the other, the ability to recognize the abilities of a spouse and help further it, etc. etc. padhinArum petru pallAndu vAzhha proverbla they did not split the blessings based on gender. Ultimate goal is betterment of that home, no room for egos there.

There was a news item recently. A paani puri seller somewhere in Tamilnadu and his wife married after she finished 10th, he has put her through engineering college and she has just completed her engineering. HATS OFF to him. I am truly honoured to have seen the news and also to have seen the faces of those two beautiful humanbeings.

[Fire111999]

Respect every human being, male or female and/or physically or mentally challenged
Once we respect, automatically, we respect their dreams and goals

:D yup


A home has to be built by both husband and wife, encouraging each other, not being selfish, not expecting one partner to sacrifice her/his goals for the sake of the other, the ability to recognize the abilities of a spouse and help further it, etc. etc. padhinArum petru pallAndu vAzhha proverbla they did not split the blessings based on gender. Ultimate goal is betterment of that home, no room for egos there.
:clap: :yes: :2thumbsup: (sorry for getting a bit carried away with the emoticons, just feeling so happy to find someone who actually makes sense (yeah, ok, so i mean someone who shares my views) :D )

*digr: u're not a new hubber, r u? /digr

[Shekhar]

[quote=Shekhar]
welcome back shekar. :)

I very used to these dialgoes, dont ask me HOW :lol:

Thank you. I am tempted to ask you HOW?!! :wink: :wink:

Incidentally Rekha is my great favourite actress. :slurp:

Also I think both Mazhaikuruvi and Fire111999 are bachelors :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Shakthiprabha.]

[quote=Shekhar]
welcome back shekar. :)

I very used to these dialgoes, dont ask me HOW :lol:

Thank you. I am tempted to ask you HOW?!! :wink: :wink:

I am sure u can guess.... that...

These Dialogues which get repeated to me, by MY HIS HIGHNESS :D

[MazhaiKuruvi]

Also I think both Mazhaikuruvi and Fire111999 are bachelors :lol: :lol: :lol:

nAn bachelorum illai bacheloretteum illai.

so tell me Shekhar, would you say mudam should not aspire for kombu thEn? How about Kalpana Chawla, should she have become an astronaut, should her husband have supported that? sari vidunga, idhu mudivillaadha debatenu thonudhu.

[MazhaiKuruvi]

These Dialogues which get repeated to me, by MY HIS HIGHNESS :D

Sila Highnesses dialogOda vitturuvaanga, sila Highnesses practice it. ungal Highness eppdi? I know one Highness (not mine) oorukku ubadhesam on women's rights, veetla avar practicing HIGHness. pAvam ippO veliyoor poyittu romba kashtappadraar having lost his Highness status pretty quickly ;)

[Fire111999]

nAn bachelorum illai bacheloretteum illai.

so tell me Shekhar, would you say mudam should not aspire for kombu thEn? How about Kalpana Chawla, should she have become an astronaut, should her husband have supported that? sari vidunga, idhu mudivillaadha debatenu thonudhu.

i guessed that you're a sensible female. but didn't want to mention it. cos i was hoping that even guys could have such sensible views.

and yeah, i agree that this debate is not gonna get us anywhere. it's hard to convince pple who can only think of a job as a pay cheque or as an ego boost that some people should be given the freedom to choose to do what they enjoy and contribute to the world. (btw, what's that abt mudam and kombu thEn?)

btw, shekar, i'm a bachelorette, but i don't see how that makes a difference.

[MazhaiKuruvi]

(btw, what's that abt mudam and kombu thEn?)



Fire, ungalai ingu sandhiththathil mahizhchi.

There's a proverb mudam kombu thenukku aasai pattadhu pola, meaning like a lame person wishing for kombu thane (honey) meaning he cannot climb I guess. Our great civilization somehow forgot that a physical handicap does not have to restrict a person's desires and dreams and that when there is a will there is a way.

[Fire111999]

Fire, ungalai ingu sandhiththathil mahizhchi.


really pleased to "meet" you too (but then, that must be obvious from my over enthu responses to your posts)



There's a proverb mudam kombu thenukku aasai pattadhu pola, meaning like a lame person wishing for kombu thane (honey) meaning he cannot climb I guess. Our great civilization somehow forgot that a physical handicap does not have to restrict a person's desires and dreams and that when there is a will there is a way.

yeah. people shouldn't be discouraged from achieving their dreams. paraphrase of some quote i read somewhere: if the sky's the limit, then what about the stars? let's go over the limits.

[Shakthiprabha.]

These Dialogues which get repeated to me, by MY HIS HIGHNESS :D

Sila Highnesses dialogOda vitturuvaanga, sila Highnesses practice it. ungal Highness eppdi? I know one Highness (not mine) oorukku ubadhesam on women's rights, veetla avar practicing HIGHness. pAvam ippO veliyoor poyittu romba kashtappadraar having lost his Highness status pretty quickly ;)

My highness believes in EQUALITY there fore is a real HIGHNESS true to his nature. :wink:

[MazhaiKuruvi]

My highness believes in EQUALITY there fore is a real HIGHNESS true to his nature. :wink:

:clap: avaradhu manidhaabimaanaththukkum ungaladhu selecting capacitykkum :redjump:

BTW, I lreally ove that Islaamic/Gypsy style get up of the person in your avatar.

[Roshan]

Mazhai and Neruppu,

Good to see your discussions :)

Mazhaikuruvi, just a small peice of info - Shekhar is not a Thamilian- so he may not understand some of the lines posted in Thamizh :)

[Shakthiprabha.]

My highness believes in EQUALITY there fore is a real HIGHNESS true to his nature. :wink:

:clap: avaradhu manidhaabimaanaththukkum ungaladhu selecting capacitykkum :redjump:

BTW, I lreally ove that Islaamic/Gypsy style get up of the person in your avatar.


:ty: for both :)

[Shekhar]

My highness believes in EQUALITY there fore is a real HIGHNESS true to his nature. :wink:

Come on... Any husband who tries to practice 'equality' at home, is dog meat!!! :lol: :lol:
I would be keen to hear your poor Highness's views and experiences. !!! My full sympathies with him! :lol: :lol:

[Shakthiprabha.]

My highness believes in EQUALITY there fore is a real HIGHNESS true to his nature. :wink:

Come on... Any husband who tries to practice 'equality' at home, is dog meat!!! :lol: :lol:
I would be keen to hear your poor Highness's views and experiences. !!! My full sympathies with him! :lol: :lol:

:shock: :roll: :P :oops: :lol: :shhh: :yessir:

[pavalamani pragasam]

copy/paste the following script in this link to read without strain:
http://www.jaffnalibrary.com/tools/Tsc.htm
[tscii:691a024965]

கும்புடறன் சாமி…

சின்ன வயசுல இருந்தே உங்க படம் பாக்குறதுக்குத் தவியா தவிச்சிருக்கேன். ஆனா…எங்க ஊட்லதான் உடமாட்டேன்னு 144 தடை உத்தரவு போட்ருவாங்க.

“அதெல்லாம் நீ பாக்கக் கூடாது. வேணும்ன்னா ‘பட்டணத்தில் பூதம்’ போ, பணம் தர்றேன்னு சொல்லீட்டு அவுங்க ‘அரங்கேத்தம்’ போயிடுவாங்க. எனக்கு எரிச்சல் எரிச்சலா வரும். ஊருக்குள்ள பலபேரு புதுமை புதுமைன்னு சொல்றாங்களே…அப்படி அதுல என்னதான் இருக்குன்னு ஒரே ஆசையா இருக்கும். அப்புறம் எட்டாங்கிளாசோ ஒன்பதாம் கிளாசோ படிக்கறப்போ உங்களோட ‘அபூர்வ ராகங்கள்’ பாத்து புல்லரிச்சுப் போயிட்டேன் எவ்ளோ பெரிய சிக்கலையும் நீங்க எவ்ளோ ஈஜியா தீக்கறீங்கன்னு பாத்து புளகாங்கிதம் அடைஞ்சேன். அப்பன் புள்ளைய லவ் பண்றான். மகன் அவளோட ஆத்தாள லவ் பண்றான்.

இல்லயில்ல…..

அந்தப் புள்ளதான் லவ் பண்ணுது…ஆனா அவளோட அம்மாக்காரிய இந்த அப்பனோட பையன் லவ் பண்றான்…பாத்தீங்களா….இதச் சொல்றதுக்குள்ளயே நாக்கு கொழறுது. ஆனா நீங்க ….எவ்ளோ பெரிய சிக்கலை இந்த மக்களுக்குக் குடுத்து அத எவ்வளவு ஈஜியாத் தீக்கறதுன்னும் ‘தீர்வு’ குடுக்கறீங்களே….
இதுதாங்க கே.பி.டச்சு….

இருந்தாலும் பாருங்க….இந்த எழவுகளுக்குப் புரியுதா…?

இந்தத் ‘தரை டிக்கட்டுக’ இருக்கானுகளே….அதுகளுக்கெல்லாம் உங்க படம்ன்னாலே ரொம்ப எளக்காரங்க….

“வித்தியாசமா இருக்கிறதுங்கிறது வேற, வித்தியாசமா இருந்தே தீரணும்கிறதுக்காக வித்தியாசமா காட்டிகறது வேற. உங்காளு இது ரெண்டாவது ரகம்….இந்தாளு புருசம் பொண்டாட்டி உறவத் தவிர ஊருல எத்தனை விதமான கேடு கெட்ட உறவெல்லாம் இருக்கோ….அத்தனையையும் படமா எடுக்கறதுதான் இந்தாளு வேல.
பாட்டி பேரனக் காதலிக்கறது, மருமகன் மாமியாரக் காதலிக்கறதுன்னு எடுக்கறதத் தவிர வேறெதாச்சும் தெரியுமா? இங்க அவனவன் சோத்துக்கே வக்கில்லாமச் சாகறப்போ சக்கரப் பொங்கல் சாப்புடுங்கற கதையா இந்தாளு படமெடுக்க அத இந்த வெவஸ்தை கெட்ட வெட்டிப் பசங்க கே.பி.டச்சு…. கே.பி.டச்சு….ன்னு வேற புலம்பிச் சுத்துதுக”ன்னு நொன நாயம் பேசறானுக.

ஏன் நம்ம பாலச்சந்தர் இத மட்டுமா எடுக்குறாரு? ‘தண்ணீர் தண்ணீர்’ எடுக்கலியா, அவ்வளவு அருமையான படம். அதுல சொல்லாத பிரச்சனையா மத்தவங்க சொல்லிட்டாங்க….அந்த மாதிரி ஒரு புரட்சிப் படம் இதுவரைக்கும் வந்திருக்கா…பாலச்சந்தர் படம் பாக்கரதுக்கெல்லாம் சாதாரண அறிவு பத்தாது. உங்கள மாதிரி ரசனை கெட்ட ஜென்மங்களுக்கெல்லாம் அது எங்க வெளங்கப் போகுது…ன்னு திருப்பி நானும் குடுத்தேன் ஒரு சூடு. ஒரு பய வாயத் தொறக்கல.

“அது சரி…’சிந்து பைரவி’ பாத்தியா?”ன்னாங்க. ஒருதடவையில்ல மூணு தடவ பாத்தேன் சாமி. நம்ம ரஜினிசாமி கூட பாம்ப கையிலெடுத்துட்டு சுத்துவாரே…அதுதானே சாமின்னேன். ” கருமம்… கருமம் அது பைரவிய்யா. நாங்க சொன்னது சிந்து பைரவி”ன்னாங்க நம்ம கே.பி.படமா சாமி….பாக்காம இருப்பனா? கே.ஜி.ல பிளாக்குல வாங்கிப் பார்த்தது சாமி….

“மொதல்ல பாக்கறவனையெல்லாம் சாமின்னு சொல்றத நிறுத்து….படம் எப்படி….?”

எப்படியா…? ஒரு இசை மேதை தன்னோட அறிவுக்கும், தெறமைக்கும் பொருத்தமா சம்சாரம் கெடைக்கலியேன்னு வருத்தப்பட்டு பாரம் சுமக்கறப்போ…நானும் கொஞ்சம் சொமக்கறேன்னு ஒரு பொண்ணு வர்றா….மேதையும் மேதையும் சேந்து இன்னொரு மேதைய இந்த நாட்டுக்கு அர்ப்பணிக்கறாங்க…ஏன் இதுல என்ன சிக்கல்…? இதுலயும் ஏதாவது நொன சொல்றதுக்கு இருக்கான்னேன்.

“கே.பி.ப்ப்ப்ரியா! நீ சொல்றதையே….இப்படிக் கொஞ்சம் மாத்தி யோசிச்சுப்பாரு…உங்க மேதைக்கு இன்னொரு மேதை கெடைக்கலியேங்கற கவலைல ‘குவாட்டர்’ அடிச்சுட்டுக் குப்புறக் கெடந்த மாதிரி….ஜே.கே.பொண்டாட்டி…அதான் அந்த சுலக்சணா…அந்தப் பேதையும் உலகம் புரியாத ஒரு அப்பவிப் புருசன் வேணும்ன்னு ‘முக்கால்’ அடிச்சுட்டு சுத்தறமாதிரி எடுத்திருக்கலாமில்ல. மேதைக்கு மேதை. போதைக்குப்….ச்சே பேதைக்குப் பேதை…அப்படி எடுத்திருக்கலாமில்ல. ஆம்பளேன்னா மட்டும் அறிவுக்குப் பொருத்தமா இல்லேன்னா எத்தனை வேணும்ன்னாலும் வெச்சுக்கலாம்…பெத்துக்கலாம்ன்னு சொல்றது கடைஞ்செடுத்த பைத்தியக்காரத்தனம்…இதுல வேற பெண்ணினத்த நான் தான் தூக்கி நிறுத்தறேன்னு பெனாத்தல் வேற….”
நான் மட்டும் அன்னைக்கு ‘மால’ போட்ருக்கலேன்னா…அந்த அய்யப்பனே வந்திருந்தாலும் தடுத்திருக்க முடியாது…மகனுகள கீசியிருப்பேன் கீசி. மனசுக்குள்ள கெட்ட கெட்ட வார்த்தையா வந்தாலும் வாயில வந்தா சாமி குத்தமாச்சேன்னு வாய மூடிக்கிட்டேன்.

இடைல நம்ம தலைவர் வேற…”இதோ வர்றேன்….அதோ வர்றேன்”னு சொல்லீட்டு இருந்ததால போஸ்டர் ஒட்டற வேலையும் இல்லாமப் போயிடுமோங்கற பயத்துல அந்தப் பண்ணாடைக(ஹி…ஹி…உங்க வஜனந்தாங்க) பக்கமே திரும்பிக்கூட பாக்கலே.

எனக்கு மனசே சரியில்லே. இதென்னடாது நம்ம சிகரத்தப் பத்தியே இவ்வளவு தரக்குறைவா பேசறானுகன்னு வெசனமாப் போச்சு.

அப்புறம் தேர்தல் களேபரத்துல சினிமாப் பாக்கவே சந்தர்ப்பம் இல்லாமப் போச்சுங்க. தேர்தல் சமயத்துல கூட உங்க ஞாபகம்தான். ‘கையில காசு…வாயுல தோசை’ன்னு தேர்தலப் பத்தி நீங்க எடுத்த ‘அச்சமில்லை அச்சமில்லை’ படம்தான் ஞாபகத்துக்கு வந்துச்சு. பழைய மந்திரிமாருக எல்லாம் வரிசையா ஒவ்வொருத்தரா ‘களி திங்கப்’ போறதைப் பாக்குறதே ஒரு சினிமா பாத்த மாதிரி இருக்குதுங்க.

சரி….சம்சாரம் நச்சறாளேன்னு எதாவது படத்துக்குப் போலாம்ன்னு பாத்தா..அட…உங்க படமே ரிலீசாயிடுச்சுன்னு சொன்னாங்க. இதுவும் பொம்பளங்க விடுதலையப் பத்திதான்னு சொன்னாங்க.

வழக்கம்போல ‘தரை டிக்கட்டுக’ எல்லாம் காலி. ரசனை கெட்ட ஜென்மங்க…படம் பாக்கப் பாக்க எனக்குக் கோபம் கோபமா வருது. இப்படி ஒரு புருசன் இருப்பானான்ன்னு…சொடுக்குப் போட்டு சித்ரவதை பண்றது….பொண்டாட்டி கையில துப்பறது….இப்படிப்பட்ட ஆம்பளைக உருப்படுவானுகளான்னு ஆத்தரமாயிடுச்சு.

இடை வேளைல ஒரு காப்பியும், தம்மும் அடிச்சிட்டு உள்ள போயி உக்காந்தா…என்னடாது தியேட்டர் என்னாவது மாறி கீறி வந்துட்டமான்னு சந்தேகம்…கதையே சுத்தமா மாறிப் போச்சு. அந்த வெறி புடுச்ச ரெண்டு பெண்டாட்டிக்காரன திருத்தறதுக்காக அந்த சின்னப் பொண்ணே அவ்ங்கூடப் போயி…அவன மயக்கி…திருத்தறதுக்காகவே ஒரு புள்ளையும் பெத்து…அட…அட…இப்படியெல்லாம் யோசிக்க உங்க ஒருத்தராலதான் முடியும். சிகரம்ன்னா சும்மாவா?

பெண் விடுதலைக்கு இப்படி ஒரு வழி உங்க ஒருத்தராலதான் சொல்ல முடியும்.

அதப் பாத்த உடனே எனக்கும் ஒரு யோசனை தோணுதுங்க…ஒவ்வொரு ஊர்லயும் உள்ள இந்தக் கோர்ட்டுக்கெல்லாம் போயி….எந்தெந்த ஆம்பளை ‘விவாகரத்து’ வாங்கீருக்கான்னு அட்ரஸு வாங்கீட்டு வந்து….

அதென்ன…அந்தக் குமுதமோ….கல்கியோ…அது மாதிரி பொண்ணுங்கள மாவட்டத்துக்குப் பத்து பேரோ…பதினைஞ்சு பேரோ தயார் பண்ணி….”நீங்களும் அந்தக் கல்கி மாதிரி புரட்சிப் பெண்ணா இந்திந்த அட்ரஸுக்குப் போங்க….போயி மயக்குங்க….
அப்புறம்….
சொடுக்கு போடற புருசன்னா நீங்களும் சொடுக்கு போடுங்க… கையில துப்பற புருசன்னா நீங்களும் துப்புங்க… நிதானமா ஒரு புள்ளையப் பெத்து மொதல் சம்சாரத்துக்கிட்ட குடுத்துட்டு அடுத்த ஊருக்குப் புறப்படுங்க…’ஒழிஞ்சது ஆணாதிக்கம்! அடைஞ்சாச்சு பெண்விடுதலை!’ன்னு ஏற்பாடு ப்ண்ணா எப்படி இருக்கும்…? எப்படி நம்ம ஐடியா…?

“பொம்பளைங்க வெறும் புள்ள பெக்கற மெஷின் இல்லய்யா… அவுளும் நம்மள மாதிரி மனுசிதான். முடிஞ்சளவுக்கு பெண்கள் பிள்ளை பெற்றுக் கொள்ளும் தொல்லையிலிருந்து விடுபட்டாதான் அவுங்களுக்கு நிம்மதி”ன்னு நாப்பது அம்பது வருசத்துக்கு முன்னாடியே பெரியார் சொன்னா…நீங்க என்னடான்னா…இந்த நாட்டுல ஒரு ‘மேதை’க்குக் கவலைன்னா அவங்கூட சேர்ந்து ஒரு புள்ளய பெத்துக் குடுக்கறது….கொடுமைக்காரப் புருசன்னா அவங்கூடயும் சேர்ந்து ஒரு புள்ளய பெத்துக் குடுக்கறதுன்னு வழி காட்டுறீங்களே…உருப்பட்டாப்பலதான்.
மார்கெட்ல தகராறு பண்ற ஆசாமிய சரிகட்டீட்டு…உங்க ‘கல்கி’ பேசறாளே ஒரு டயலாக்…

“உனக்கெதுக்குய்யா மீசை…பேசாம போய் ஒரு பொடவையைக் கட்டிக்கோ’ன்னு…இது டயலாக். கை தட்டல் தியேட்டரே அதிருதுங்க. அதுசரி கே.பி….மீசைங்கறது ‘ஆண்மை’யின் சின்னம்னு எந்த ‘அறிவாளி’ சொன்னான் உங்களுக்கு?

மீசைக்கும், வீரத்துக்கும் சம்பந்தம் கிடையாது…அது பதினேழாம் நூற்றாண்டு சமாச்சாரம்னு பொறந்த குழந்தைகூட சொல்லுமே…”பொடவையைக் கட்டிக்கோ”ங்கிற மாதிரி கேணத்தனமான ‘புரட்சிகர’ வசனத்த உங்க கதாநாயகிதான் பேச முடியும்.

எல்லாப் படத்துலயும் ஒரு சங்கீதக்காரன் இல்லாட்டி ஒரு சங்கீதக்காரி. இருகோடுகள்ல இருந்து இப்பத்த எழவு வரைக்கும் ஒருத்தி கூட ஒரு பாட்ட முழுசாப் பாடுனதில்ல….
“பாடுவேனடி”ன்னு ஒருத்தி இழுக்க…இன்னொருத்தி முடிப்பா….”கேள்வியின் நாயகனே”ன்னு ஒருத்தி ஆரம்பிக்க…”பதிலேதய்யா”ன்னு இன்னொருத்தி முடிப்பா….

இந்தக் கல்கிலயும் “எழுதுகிறேன் ஒரு கடிதம்”னு முதல் சம்சாரம் ஆரம்பிக்க மூணாவது சம்சாரம் முடிச்சு வைப்பா….படத்துல வர்ற எல்லாப் பாத்திரமும் பக்கம் பக்கமா நாடகம் மாதிரி வசனம் பேசறதையும், அரைச்ச மாவையே அரைக்கறதையும் பாத்து பாத்து சலிச்சுப் போச்சு.

இந்த நாட்டுல எத எதத்தான் ‘புரட்சி’ங்கிறதுன்னே விவஸ்தையில்லாமப் போச்சு…..துணி விக்கறவன் கூட….”புரட்சிகர துணி விற்பனை”ங்கிறான். நாளைக்கு “புரட்சிகர சிரிப்பு நடிகர் லூஸ்மோகன்”
“புரட்சிகர கவர்ச்சி நடிகை ஜோதி மீனா”ன்னு சொல்ல ஆரம்பிச்சா எங்க கதி….?

உங்க மூளையை இனியாவது இந்தச் சமூகத்துக்குப் பயன்படுத்துற எண்ணம் இருந்தா….

ஒரே ஒரு கேள்வி….

கோபிக்க வேண்டாம்….

இதுவரைக்கும் நான் பேசுனது உங்க நாடகங்களைப் பத்திதான்.

அதுசரி….

‘சினிமா’ எடுக்கறதப்பத்தி எப்ப கத்துக்கப் போறீங்க….?

அதுவும்

வீடு….

உதிரிப்பூக்கள் மாதிரி.

கவலையுடன்,
பாமரன்
[/tscii:691a024965]

[goodsense]

After all the crap I have experienced with men from India - the sub-continet as a whole on this hub for the past years, until it somewhat came to a hault due to my own efforts over time, I feel ablazed when I read some of these things:

http://www.topix.com/forum/world/trinidad-and-tobago/TLESP83K3RGCLP52T/p3

Freddy
Chaguanas, Trinidad and Tobago

"Well well well, here we have people criticizing the Saints of the renowed JKP organization. CHEERS!!! I was an insider in this organization and I was present when this young woman was raped. The thing is that their behaviour that morning was strange. I have been in this organization for the last 16-17 years. Much to my dismay I have been fooled. Anyhow, that faithful morning Kripalu was there sitting on his throne and Didi Ji (Siddheshvari) came with a tablet and gave him to take with a glass of water. After which we all went for breakfast. Its like about 1 1/2 - 2 hours later that Didi Ji called the girl to see Kripalu. The girl went and there everything happened. She recalled seeing reah come out of the room before she went in. And when she did, she saw a blood stained sheet. DAMN..."

http://guruphiliac.blogspot.com/2007/05/85-year-old-swami-up-on-rape-charges.html

SHAME

[pavalamani pragasam]

Will our women ever stop going to swamis for spiritual guidance? :roll: Why give crooks donning the mantle of spirituality a handle to exploit their vulnerability? When are they going to cultivate self-confidence, practical wisdom & INTELLIGENCE?

[pavalamani pragasam]

An insider's view: posted in Orkut:-


Today's Woman: Sick & Perverted!?
"Today's woman has the freedom of being as sick and perverted as the guys." This is a quote from the movie Just One of the Guys
How many of the reader's agree? Here's the poem: Hey Girl!:


A group of friends were chatting in a public park in the city
Their conversations can be termed as being totally "sick and dirty"

They commented on everyone who passed their way
And stared at them as if their eyes had x-ray!

And then they would go on a fantasy trip
thinking of various ways to seductively strip

Hey do you think this was a bunch of just other men!?
Na, Na these were a group of "sick and perverted" women

A guy who overheard their conversation was totally perplexed
when he heard a girl say - All day I dream about sex.

The guy went home feeling funny that day,
Shocked, with the things he heard them say

But that's the freedom woman of today enjoys
Her thoughts are 'free' just like the boys'

These are reflections of the changing times
No more will SHE live in the superficial confines!

She can talk 'whatever' is on her mind...
What she should not think...now no one can define

What was a 'natural' behaviour for guys till yesterday
...is absolutely fine for the women of today

Today, she can be sexy, naughty and bitchy
She is absolutely cool with her sexuality....

Erotica, lust, desire and the sex toys-
these are no more just the territories of boys

As women have the freedom to be as sick & perverted as guys

Acceptance of this fact has already begun
...After all why should boys have all the fun!

[kannannn]

PP, enna solla varinga? puriyaliye..

[pavalamani pragasam]

Just heard an echo of censures on negative/shocking shades of women's enthu for gender equality!!! From one among the group itself!!! Wanted to share the nice sarcasm! :D

[kannannn]

Oh, ok.. :D

[Jilaba]

There was a news item recently. A paani puri seller somewhere in Tamilnadu and his wife married after she finished 10th, he has put her through engineering college and she has just completed her engineering. HATS OFF to him. I am truly honoured to have seen the news and also to have seen the faces of those two beautiful humanbeings.

சும்மா ஒரேயடியா கதை உடாதீங்கப்பா...

எந்த ஒரு ஆணும் எந்த ஒரு பெண்ணின் முன்னேற்றத்தையும் விரும்பியதாகவோ, அதற்கு துணை போனதாகவோ சரித்திரமே கிடையாது.

பெண்கள் தாங்கலாகவேதான் இன்றைய முன்னேற்றத்தைக் கண்டு இருக்கிறார்கள். இந்த லட்சனத்தில் யாரோ ஒரு தொழிலாளி தன் மனைவியை எஞ்சினீயரிங் படிக்க வைத்தாராம்.

கதையளக்கிறார்கள்.

இனிமேலும் இது போன்ற வெத்து வேட்டுக் கதைகளை நம்ப பெண்கள் தயாராக இல்லை. தெரியுதா?.

ஆண்கள் அனைவருமே ஆணாதிக்க வெறியர்கள். பெண்களை அடக்கியாளும் அரக்கர்கள். இவர்கள் பிடியிலிருந்து பெண்களுக்கு விடுதலை வேண்டுமாயின், பெண்கள் அனைவரும் 'திருமணம்' எனும் அடிமைச்சடங்கை புறக்கணிக்க வேண்டும். அவற்றை தூக்கியெறிய வேண்டும்.

புதுமைப்பெண்ணே.... திருமணத்தை தூக்கியெறிந்துவிட்டு புலியென புறப்பட்டு வா....!!.

[buddysathi]

There was a news item recently. A paani puri seller somewhere in Tamilnadu and his wife married after she finished 10th, he has put her through engineering college and she has just completed her engineering. HATS OFF to him. I am truly honoured to have seen the news and also to have seen the faces of those two beautiful humanbeings.

சும்மா ஒரேயடியா கதை உடாதீங்கப்பா...

எந்த ஒரு ஆணும் எந்த ஒரு பெண்ணின் முன்னேற்றத்தையும் விரும்பியதாகவோ, அதற்கு துணை போனதாகவோ சரித்திரமே கிடையாது.

பெண்கள் தாங்கலாகவேதான் இன்றைய முன்னேற்றத்தைக் கண்டு இருக்கிறார்கள். இந்த லட்சனத்தில் யாரோ ஒரு தொழிலாளி தன் மனைவியை எஞ்சினீயரிங் படிக்க வைத்தாராம்.

கதையளக்கிறார்கள்.

இனிமேலும் இது போன்ற வெத்து வேட்டுக் கதைகளை நம்ப பெண்கள் தயாராக இல்லை. தெரியுதா?.

ஆண்கள் அனைவருமே ஆணாதிக்க வெறியர்கள். பெண்களை அடக்கியாளும் அரக்கர்கள். இவர்கள் பிடியிலிருந்து பெண்களுக்கு விடுதலை வேண்டுமாயின், பெண்கள் அனைவரும் 'திருமணம்' எனும் அடிமைச்சடங்கை புறக்கணிக்க வேண்டும். அவற்றை தூக்கியெறிய வேண்டும்.

புதுமைப்பெண்ணே.... திருமணத்தை தூக்கியெறிந்துவிட்டு புலியென புறப்பட்டு வா....!!.

engae varathu? unga veetuka?? :?
ennamo adutha bus pudichi vaa-nu easy-aa solreenga!! :P

[dev]

There was a news item recently. A paani puri seller somewhere in Tamilnadu and his wife married after she finished 10th, he has put her through engineering college and she has just completed her engineering. HATS OFF to him. I am truly honoured to have seen the news and also to have seen the faces of those two beautiful humanbeings.

சும்மா ஒரேயடியா கதை உடாதீங்கப்பா...

எந்த ஒரு ஆணும் எந்த ஒரு பெண்ணின் முன்னேற்றத்தையும் விரும்பியதாகவோ, அதற்கு துணை போனதாகவோ சரித்திரமே கிடையாது.

பெண்கள் தாங்கலாகவேதான் இன்றைய முன்னேற்றத்தைக் கண்டு இருக்கிறார்கள். இந்த லட்சனத்தில் யாரோ ஒரு தொழிலாளி தன் மனைவியை எஞ்சினீயரிங் படிக்க வைத்தாராம்.

கதையளக்கிறார்கள்.

இனிமேலும் இது போன்ற வெத்து வேட்டுக் கதைகளை நம்ப பெண்கள் தயாராக இல்லை. தெரியுதா?.

ஆண்கள் அனைவருமே ஆணாதிக்க வெறியர்கள். பெண்களை அடக்கியாளும் அரக்கர்கள். இவர்கள் பிடியிலிருந்து பெண்களுக்கு விடுதலை வேண்டுமாயின், பெண்கள் அனைவரும் 'திருமணம்' எனும் அடிமைச்சடங்கை புறக்கணிக்க வேண்டும். அவற்றை தூக்கியெறிய வேண்டும்.

புதுமைப்பெண்ணே.... திருமணத்தை தூக்கியெறிந்துவிட்டு புலியென புறப்பட்டு வா....!!.

I don't agree... I am married to a very nice person whohas been very supportive of me in whatever I do... He has infact spent a few lakhs on my studies after we got married...& when I decided to startup something of my own rather than working for others, he gladly accepted that decision of mine & has even funded me to do whatever I wanted to... Never has he discouraged me from doing whatever I wish or against my career decisions... Infact he is more happy & proud than what I am, that I'm a CPA...He was happier than me to see that I am independent financially ... I would say tht he played a major role in making me a mentally stronger, confident person than what I was when we got married & the credit for all these goes to him... I don't think i could've been what i am now without those encouraging words & support from him all through...

There maybe a few men who fall under the category U've described... but such generalization is not agreeable...

[bingleguy]

There was a news item recently. A paani puri seller somewhere in Tamilnadu and his wife married after she finished 10th, he has put her through engineering college and she has just completed her engineering. HATS OFF to him. I am truly honoured to have seen the news and also to have seen the faces of those two beautiful humanbeings.

சும்மா ஒரேயடியா கதை உடாதீங்கப்பா...

எந்த ஒரு ஆணும் எந்த ஒரு பெண்ணின் முன்னேற்றத்தையும் விரும்பியதாகவோ, அதற்கு துணை போனதாகவோ சரித்திரமே கிடையாது.

பெண்கள் தாங்கலாகவேதான் இன்றைய முன்னேற்றத்தைக் கண்டு இருக்கிறார்கள். இந்த லட்சனத்தில் யாரோ ஒரு தொழிலாளி தன் மனைவியை எஞ்சினீயரிங் படிக்க வைத்தாராம்.

கதையளக்கிறார்கள்.

இனிமேலும் இது போன்ற வெத்து வேட்டுக் கதைகளை நம்ப பெண்கள் தயாராக இல்லை. தெரியுதா?.

ஆண்கள் அனைவருமே ஆணாதிக்க வெறியர்கள். பெண்களை அடக்கியாளும் அரக்கர்கள். இவர்கள் பிடியிலிருந்து பெண்களுக்கு விடுதலை வேண்டுமாயின், பெண்கள் அனைவரும் 'திருமணம்' எனும் அடிமைச்சடங்கை புறக்கணிக்க வேண்டும். அவற்றை தூக்கியெறிய வேண்டும்.

புதுமைப்பெண்ணே.... திருமணத்தை தூக்கியெறிந்துவிட்டு புலியென புறப்பட்டு வா....!!.

I don't agree... I am married to a very nice person whohas been very supportive of me in whatever I do... He has infact spent a few lakhs on my studies after we got married...& when I decided to startup something of my own rather than working for others, he gladly accepted that decision of mine & has even funded me to do whatever I wanted to... Never has he discouraged me from doing whatever I wish or against my career decisions... Infact he is more happy & proud than what I am, that I'm a CPA...He was happier than me to see that I am independent financially ... I would say tht he played a major role in making me a mentally stronger, confident person than what I was when we got married & the credit for all these goes to him... I don't think i could've been what i am now without those encouraging words & support from him all through...

There maybe a few men who fall under the category U've described... but such generalization is not agreeable...

I second DEV ..... this is not fair to generalize....... Pengal eppavum thadai irukkunnu nambi nambi ye oru velai indha thought veroondri poiduthho ennamo ..... when the relationship is mutual understanding .... i really feel there is no reason to stop the other .....

[dev]

I second DEV ..... this is not fair to generalize....... Pengal eppavum thadai irukkunnu nambi nambi ye oru velai indha thought veroondri poiduthho ennamo ..... when the relationship is mutual understanding .... i really feel there is no reason to stop the other .....

:exactly:

[bingleguy]

Thannai gavanikkanum ngra ennam eppavume pasanga ponnunga rendu perukkum undu........ why do guys hang out and dress with a fancy hairstyle, come with a jazzy dance party shirt and a Lee jean with a purse with Credit card ........ to impress ;-) i dont want to comment on whether this is the way to impress ;-) but idhai paathu attract aagaadha gals illai ....

Gals edhukku piercing and adhu theriyara maadiri wear, lip enhancer ;-) eye lashes enhanced ..... kutti Tee with a tight jean and high heals ..... idellam pannikittu varaanga..... tis not only fashion that attracts them ... it is the gazing of the boys ... tats wat urges her more.....

indha casual attraction ai thappa pesaravangalum irukkaanga.... thappa use pannikiravangalum irukaanga....rendu side la yum ......

[madhu]

Hi Jilaba !

"country of Vijay"-la irundhukittu aaNgaLai edhukku thittareenga ? :froggrin:

[MazhaiKuruvi]

Gals edhukku piercing and adhu theriyara maadiri wear, lip enhancer ;-) eye lashes enhanced ..... kutti Tee with a tight jean and high heals ..... idellam pannikittu varaanga..... tis not only fashion that attracts them ... it is the gazing of the boys ... tats wat urges her more.....

..
Bingle, the more compelling factor that drives dressing is competition among women themselves to look better, to be more in style, etc.

Jilaba, kadhai vittu enna kidaikka pohudhu. The guy and his wife were interviewed on NDTV

[pavalamani pragasam]

Jilaba ippadi kalyaaNam vENdaam, 'adangaathE'-nnu appadinnu veettula irukkiRa peNkaLa puli pOla vaa singam pOla vaa-nnu enga kooppiduRaar? :roll: kaattukkaa? :frightened:

[Jilaba]

engae varathu? unga veetuka?? :?
ennamo adutha bus pudichi vaa-nu easy-aa solreenga!! :P

நீங்கள் இன்னும் பழைய காலத்திலேயே இருந்து கொண்டு, இன்னும் பெண்களை காலடியில் போட்டு மிதிக்கலாம் என்று எண்ணாதீர்கள். இப்போது காலம் ரொம்ப மாறிவிட்டது. ஆண்கள் அனைவரும் பெண்களிடம் கையேந்தி நிற்கும் பொற்காலம் வந்து கொண்டிருக்கிறது.

திருமணம் என்னும் அடிமை விலங்கு பெண்களுக்கு தேவையில்லை. அதை வைத்து தானே பெண்களை நோகடிக்கிறீர்கள்..??. பெண்கள் திருமணம் வேண்டாம் என்று முடிவெடுக்கத் துவங்கி விட்டார்கள்.

ஆணாதிக்க வாதிகளின் ஏமாற்று வேலை இனி பெண்களிடம் பலிக்காது.

[Jilaba]

I don't agree... I am married to a very nice person whohas been very supportive of me in whatever I do... He has infact spent a few lakhs on my studies after we got married...& when I decided to startup something of my own rather than working for others, he gladly accepted that decision of mine & has even funded me to do whatever I wanted to... Never has he discouraged me from doing whatever I wish or against my career decisions... Infact he is more happy & proud than what I am, that I'm a CPA...He was happier than me to see that I am independent financially ... I would say tht he played a major role in making me a mentally stronger, confident person than what I was when we got married & the credit for all these goes to him... I don't think i could've been what i am now without those encouraging words & support from him all through...

There maybe a few men who fall under the category U've described... but such generalization is not agreeable...

நீங்கள் சொவதை நானும் நம்பத் தயாராயில்லை. உங்கள் கணவரின் அடி உதைகளுக்கு பயந்து பொய் சொலிகிறீர்களோ என்று சந்தேகப்படுகிறேன்.

காரணம், திருமணமான எந்த ஒரு பெண்ணும் ஆணாதிக்க கொடுமையில்லாமல் வாழ்வதேயில்லை. பலர் உங்களைபோல வெளியில் சொல்லப் பயந்து மூடி மறைக்கிறார்களேயன்றி, அவர்கள் சந்தோஷமாக வாழ்கிறார்கள் என்று அர்த்தமல்ல. உங்கள் கணவரை திருப்திப்படுத்த இப்படியெல்லாம் ஒரேயடியாக பொய்களை அரங்கேற்றாதீகள். நமக்கு தெரிந்த வகையில் திருமண்மான பெண்களெல்லாம் தங்கள் கணவர்கள் என்ற குடிகாரப் பேய்களிடம் இருந்து அடைந்தது எல்லாம் கொடுமைகளைத்தவிர வேறு ஒன்றுமில்லை.

ஒருவேளை... (சந்தேகம்தான்)... உங்க கணவர் அப்படியிருப்பது உண்மையென்றால். அது கோடியில் ஒன்று. இப்படி அபூர்வ கேஸ்களை வைத்து மொத்த சமுதாயத்திலும் ஆண்கள் நல்லவர்கள் என்று சொல்ல முடியாது.

பெண்களை அடிமைகளாக்கும், 'திருமணம்' என்னும் கொடிய வழக்கம் ஒழிக்கப் படவேண்டிய ஒன்று.

[Jilaba]

Hi Jilaba !

"country of Vijay"-la irundhukittu aaNgaLai edhukku thittareenga ? :froggrin:

உங்களுக்கு மட்டுமல்ல, எல்லா ஆண்களுக்குமே உண்மையைச் சொன்னால் பிடிக்காது. பெண்களை திருமணம் என்னும் பிணையில் கட்டி, அவர்களை அடிமைகளாகவே வைத்திருக்க வேண்டும் என்பது தானே ஒட்டுமொத்த ஆண்களீன் எண்ணம்?.

நான் நாட்டில் நடப்பதைத்தானே சொல்கிறேன்?.

[Jilaba]

Jilaba ippadi kalyaaNam vENdaam, 'adangaathE'-nnu appadinnu veettula irukkiRa peNkaLa puli pOla vaa singam pOla vaa-nnu enga kooppiduRaar? :roll: kaattukkaa? :frightened:

ஏன்...??. இப்படி காலம் காலமாக ஆண்களுக்கு அடிமைகளாகவே இருந்து மடிய போகிறீர்களா?. திருமணம் என்னும் கொடிய பந்தம்தானே பெண்களை அடிமைத்தளத்தில் கொண்டு போய் தள்ளுகிறது..!.

அந்த அடிமை விலங்கை உடைத்தெறிந்து விட்டு வர என்ன தயக்கம்?. திருமணத்தைப் புறக்கணித்து பெண்கள் சுதந்திரமாக வாழ முடிவெடுக்காத வரையில், ஆண்கள் என்னும் கொடியவர்களிடம் இருந்து அவர்களுக்கு விடுதலை கிடைக்காது. அடிமைத்தனம்தான் மிஞ்சும்.

[bingleguy]

Bingle, the more compelling factor that drives dressing is competition among women themselves to look better, to be more in style, etc.


but for wat ????? :-) nobody does something without purpose illayaa ;-) well, andha other reasons la high stakes goes for appearing good before somebody ..... adhai thaan sonnen :-)

[dsath]

:notthatway: Jilaba, although i understand you. Rejecting marriage is not the right path for championing women's rights.
Male chauvinism is a spectrum, some are extreme, some are mild and a miniscule minority has none at all.
Rejecting marriage is escapism, why should women give up the right to become mothers because of chauvinistic men. We should not try to evade this problem, but try to solve it. If not this generation may be the future generations would benefit. 8-)
Wouldn't it be better to reform the society and appreciate the positive changes that are happening like the NDTV news story.
:idea:

[bingleguy]

நீங்கள் சொவதை நானும் நம்பத் தயாராயில்லை. உங்கள் கணவரின் அடி உதைகளுக்கு பயந்து பொய் சொலிகிறீர்களோ என்று சந்தேகப்படுகிறேன்.

காரணம், திருமணமான எந்த ஒரு பெண்ணும் ஆணாதிக்க கொடுமையில்லாமல் வாழ்வதேயில்லை. பலர் உங்களைபோல வெளியில் சொல்லப் பயந்து மூடி மறைக்கிறார்களேயன்றி, அவர்கள் சந்தோஷமாக வாழ்கிறார்கள் என்று அர்த்தமல்ல. உங்கள் கணவரை திருப்திப்படுத்த இப்படியெல்லாம் ஒரேயடியாக பொய்களை அரங்கேற்றாதீகள். நமக்கு தெரிந்த வகையில் திருமண்மான பெண்களெல்லாம் தங்கள் கணவர்கள் என்ற குடிகாரப் பேய்களிடம் இருந்து அடைந்தது எல்லாம் கொடுமைகளைத்தவிர வேறு ஒன்றுமில்லை.

ஒருவேளை... (சந்தேகம்தான்)... உங்க கணவர் அப்படியிருப்பது உண்மையென்றால். அது கோடியில் ஒன்று. இப்படி அபூர்வ கேஸ்களை வைத்து மொத்த சமுதாயத்திலும் ஆண்கள் நல்லவர்கள் என்று சொல்ல முடியாது.

பெண்களை அடிமைகளாக்கும், 'திருமணம்' என்னும் கொடிய வழக்கம் ஒழிக்கப் படவேண்டிய ஒன்று.

:-) aaadhikkam ! Strong has aadhikkam against the weak ;-) that doesnt have any bedham :-) nothing like male female n stuffs ...... this applies to everybody.

Raanigal desangalai thiramaiyaaga aandathillayaa ???
Pengal illaadha thuraigal illai endra nilamai vandhukondu dhaan irukkkiradhu .... it is just for some jobs, gals are not interested to take .... how many key posts are handled by women today ... in India and abroad.......... inniki space kku pogaliyaa ;-) idellam andha kaalathula pengalaala mudiyaadha vishayangal illai ..... but just sometimes they did have hitches .... yaarukku dhaan hitches illai:-) and then sometimes they dont wish to take those kind of jobs:-)

so kanmoodithanamaaga pengal mattume adakki aala pattavargal nnu solradhu .... is again saying things blunt ....

Dev veetukkaarar mattum appadi illeenga..... as i ve said earliler:-) the relation is mutual understanding .... uyarndhavargal thaazhndhavargal kidayaadhu ......

dont u stand upto something when u are forced??? :-) as simple as that ... andha maadiri panra URIMAI :-) yaaraavadhu koduthu vandhadhaaa :lol: NO ...... adhu URIMAI....... nobody gives it ..... :-) its always yours

[bingleguy]

Hi Jilaba !

"country of Vijay"-la irundhukittu aaNgaLai edhukku thittareenga ? :froggrin:

உங்களுக்கு மட்டுமல்ல, எல்லா ஆண்களுக்குமே உண்மையைச் சொன்னால் பிடிக்காது. பெண்களை திருமணம் என்னும் பிணையில் கட்டி, அவர்களை அடிமைகளாகவே வைத்திருக்க வேண்டும் என்பது தானே ஒட்டுமொத்த ஆண்களீன் எண்ணம்?.

நான் நாட்டில் நடப்பதைத்தானே சொல்கிறேன்?.

i dont understand wat makes u tell this :-)

[dsath]

Hi Jilaba !

"country of Vijay"-la irundhukittu aaNgaLai edhukku thittareenga ? :froggrin:

உங்களுக்கு மட்டுமல்ல, எல்லா ஆண்களுக்குமே உண்மையைச் சொன்னால் பிடிக்காது. பெண்களை திருமணம் என்னும் பிணையில் கட்டி, அவர்களை அடிமைகளாகவே வைத்திருக்க வேண்டும் என்பது தானே ஒட்டுமொத்த ஆண்களீன் எண்ணம்?.

நான் நாட்டில் நடப்பதைத்தானே சொல்கிறேன்?.

i dont understand wat makes u tell this :-)

reminds me of a scene in the movie 'Aval appadi than' (not the exact words)
Sripriya asks Saritha who is newly married to Kamal : Unge husband ella ponnunge kitayum oru kelvi kepar. Unge kita ketara?
Kamal says no.
Sripriya : neenge women's liberation pathi enna ninaikeringe.
Saritha looks at Kamla and asks: appadina?
Kamal: Pengal suthanthiram pathi enna ninikernu kekurange.
Saritha: athe pathi enaku onnum theriyathu.
Sripriya: Athenala than, nenge santhosama irrukuringe and laughs sarcastically.

[madhu]

Hi Jilaba !

"country of Vijay"-la irundhukittu aaNgaLai edhukku thittareenga ? :froggrin:

உங்களுக்கு மட்டுமல்ல, எல்லா ஆண்களுக்குமே உண்மையைச் சொன்னால் பிடிக்காது. பெண்களை திருமணம் என்னும் பிணையில் கட்டி, அவர்களை அடிமைகளாகவே வைத்திருக்க வேண்டும் என்பது தானே ஒட்டுமொத்த ஆண்களீன் எண்ணம்?.

நான் நாட்டில் நடப்பதைத்தானே சொல்கிறேன்?.

i dont understand wat makes u tell this :-)

Jilaba..

I cant read tamil fonts. neenga enna ezhudhi irukkeengannu theriyala.

unga angle-la irundhu pArkumbOdhu neenga solRadhu sariyA irukkalaam.. that doesnt mean that everybody should see from that angle.. or no other angles are available !

[Jilaba]

Raanigal desangalai thiramaiyaaga aandathillayaa ???
Pengal illaadha thuraigal illai endra nilamai vandhukondu dhaan irukkkiradhu .... it is just for some jobs, gals are not interested to take .... how many key posts are handled by women today ... in India and abroad.......... inniki space kku pogaliyaa ;-) idellam andha kaalathula pengalaala mudiyaadha vishayangal illai ..... but just sometimes they did have hitches .... yaarukku dhaan hitches illai:-) and then sometimes they dont wish to take those kind of jobs:-)


Hello Sir...

What you are telling here are JUST ONE IN THOUSAND (1/1000)only. What about the balance 999....????.

Still they are suffering under 'Male Chavenism' in name of marriages (a cruel thing). Males are using this marriages as a weapon to destroy women.

'Varadhatchinai Kodumai' is purely based on the marriage only. If the women decided to avoid marriages, then within fraction of minutes, this will disappear.

True or not..???.

[dsath]

'Varadhatchinai Kodumai' is purely based on the marriage only. If the women decided to avoid marriages, then within fraction of minutes, this will disappear.

True or not..???.
Not true. Another ritual or custom will be invented to sustain male domination. Can you destroy a plant just because it has lots of weeds growing around it. Pull out the weeds and not the plant.
If the dowry system can be eradicated in Europe, it can be done in India also.

[MazhaiKuruvi]

Varathatchanai kodumai?? mmmmmmmmm

Is it really kodumai or does it exist because girls are trying to marry above their status/wealth. All said and done the world is mostly about money. How many post graduate girls are willing to marry a +2 failed jobless man who has no soththu or even a post graduate with no job/soththu? Everybody tries to climb the social money ladder by either marrying money, job or dowry. In that sense, girls are equally guilty of soththu or velai or visa kodumai like men are guilty of varathatchanai kodumai.

[dsath]

Varathatchanai kodumai?? mmmmmmmmm

Is it really kodumai or does it exist because girls are trying to marry above their status/wealth. All said and done the world is mostly about money. How many post graduate girls are willing to marry a +2 failed jobless man who has no soththu or even a post graduate with no job/soththu? Everybody tries to climb the social money ladder by either marrying money, job or dowry. In that sense, girls are equally guilty of soththu or velai or visa kodumai like men are guilty of varathatchanai kodumai.
Are all marriages upwardly mobile? Many families actually become downwardly mobile after marrying off their daughters. How can you blame only girls when its actually the families that are arranging the marriage.
Are marriages between equals devoid of dowry?
Dowry is a social custom that was invented to empower women in days when women were not on equal footings with their male counterparts. It has been wrongly utilized and has aided and sustained male domination.
And now women are blamed for bringing all this upon themselves.

Its IMO similar to the Taliban policy of wearing the viel. ' Don't blame men for eve-teasing and other :evil: things. It is the women who are tempting them by not wearing the veil. If women wear the veil, why would a man be tempted to do all the :twisted: things he does.'
:idontgetit:
How come women end up taking all the blame for the evils penetrated upon them.

[madhu]

mazhaikuruvi..

its not necessary for a girl to marry a jobless boy just to show that she is not behind money.
She can marry him only if she loves him so that his status is not going to be a hindrance for their journey together.

Jilaba..

male chauvinism appdinnu oNNu irukku enbadhaRkAga female chauvinism enru onRai uruvAkka vENdiyadhu anAvasiyam.
The world is changing. Future generation kitta azhuthamAga solla vENdiyadhai solli manadhil padhiya vaithAl pOdhum.

pazhikku pazhi... :angry2: revenge.. :rant: idhellAm TV serialukku mattum irukkattumE ! :P

[Sanguine Sridhar]

Jilaba neenga neraya TV serials paakureenga pola :lol2:

I dont think that male chauvinism exist a lot. I certainly feel that in certain family female chauvinism exist too....!

Chumma pazhaya kadhya pesitrukaadheenga...almost all literates here gives equal importance to his partner! 8-)

[Jilaba]

'Varadhatchinai Kodumai' is purely based on the marriage only. If the women decided to avoid marriages, then within fraction of minutes, this will disappear.

True or not..???.
Not true. Another ritual or custom will be invented to sustain male domination. Can you destroy a plant just because it has lots of weeds growing around it. Pull out the weeds and not the plant.


So, you clearly accept that, males are always thinking and inventing new methods & ways to dominate the ladies always. They will never allow ladies to live peacefully. The main way for their domination is 'marriage'. First it should be deleted from the society. Males will will never do such deletion. So, the females must boycot marriages and should stand in their own legs, without the support of any male dogs.

[dsath]

Jilaba neenga neraya TV serials paakureenga pola :lol2:

I dont think that male chauvinism exist a lot. I certainly feel that in certain family female chauvinism exist too....!

Chumma pazhaya kadhya pesitrukaadheenga...almost all literates here gives equal importance to his partner! 8-)
Pazhaya kadhai illai ss. Just read thru this article which says that two third women face domestic violence in India. :(
http://www.expressindia.com/fullstory.php?newsid=56501

[dsath]

[tscii:2b82045826]




'Varadhatchinai Kodumai' is purely based on the marriage only. If the women decided to avoid marriages, then within fraction of minutes, this will disappear.

True or not..???.
Not true. Another ritual or custom will be invented to sustain male domination. Can you destroy a plant just because it has lots of weeds growing around it. Pull out the weeds and not the plant.


So, you clearly accept that, males are always thinking and inventing new methods & ways to dominate the ladies always. They will never allow ladies to live peacefully. The main way for their domination is 'marriage'. First it should be deleted from the society. Males will will never do such deletion. So, the females must boycot marriages and should stand in their own legs, without the support of any male dogs.
Jilaba, there is no denying that India is a male dominated society. Let me try my argument with a relative and valid example.
Sati was a cruel custom. If Raja Ram Mohan Roy went by your policy - women stop marrying - no marriage, no widows and hence no sati. Sati abolished - everyone happy !!!!! . If that was the case then we would not be living now to tell the story of successful sati abolition.
If women stop marrying now, there won’t be any future generations to tell the story of successful dowry eradication.
[/tscii:2b82045826]

[bingleguy]

Raanigal desangalai thiramaiyaaga aandathillayaa ???
Pengal illaadha thuraigal illai endra nilamai vandhukondu dhaan irukkkiradhu .... it is just for some jobs, gals are not interested to take .... how many key posts are handled by women today ... in India and abroad.......... inniki space kku pogaliyaa ;-) idellam andha kaalathula pengalaala mudiyaadha vishayangal illai ..... but just sometimes they did have hitches .... yaarukku dhaan hitches illai:-) and then sometimes they dont wish to take those kind of jobs:-)


Hello Sir...

What you are telling here are JUST ONE IN THOUSAND (1/1000)only. What about the balance 999....????.

Still they are suffering under 'Male Chavenism' in name of marriages (a cruel thing). Males are using this marriages as a weapon to destroy women.

'Varadhatchinai Kodumai' is purely based on the marriage only. If the women decided to avoid marriages, then within fraction of minutes, this will disappear.

True or not..???.

Sollunga ;-)

neenga enna census specialist aaa ;-) kodila onnu, lakshathula oruthanga, aayirathula onnu nnu cinema dialogue maadiri solreenga ;-) indha one in thousand kadhai ellam malai eri poyaachungo........ every learned individual has learnt to give respect to their partner .... seri unga paani la sollanum nna every other person :-) neenga dhaan partnership vendam nnu solreengale ....

Kalyanam vendam nna ..... ofcourse.... u have the right to choose that :-) ofcourse to propagate that :-) and even live by it .... unga pakkam nyayam nnu ninaikkardhai sollunga ... every person has their right to speak :-) but eduthukkiravangalai force panna mudiyaadhu .... that is their will :-)

Varadhatchanai kodumai ...... endha kaalathula nga irukkeenga .... ippo ellam MARRIAGES la OPENLY " DO NOT BRING GIFTS, MANAMAKKALAI AASIRVADHITHAL PODHUM" nnu poduradhai neenga paathadhillayaa .... gift kku kooda - also boys parents arent asking for anything ......... penn oda appa amma kalyana selavai seivaanga - probably tats happenning in some places coz adhu avanga ishtam .... ethanayo love marriages nadakkudhu ;-) anga ellam beramaa nadakkudhu ?????

u are too generalizing ..... naanum generalize panna virumbala .....
adimai paduthraanga nnu solreenag ... appadi onnu nadandhaa en paathukittu summa irukkeenga .... adiyoda ozhikkavendiyadhu unga kadamai illayaa !

[dsath]

Sollunga ;-)

neenga enna census specialist aaa ;-) kodila onnu, lakshathula oruthanga, aayirathula onnu nnu cinema dialogue maadiri solreenga ;-) indha one in thousand kadhai ellam malai eri poyaachungo........ every learned individual has learnt to give respect to their partner .... seri unga paani la sollanum nna every other person :-) neenga dhaan partnership vendam nnu solreengale ....



u are too generalizing ..... naanum generalize panna virumbala .....
adimai paduthraanga nnu solreenag ... appadi onnu nadandhaa en paathukittu summa irukkeenga .... adiyoda ozhikkavendiyadhu unga kadamai illayaa !
This article by Swapna Majumdar is a must read for everyone who think that educated men treat their wives equally.
http://www.womensenews.org/article.cfm/dyn/aid/1591
Some quotes from the article


While the findings are not new, the study has incubated a new round of debate about the cultural underpinnings to domestic violence, especially in India, where the study found a woman's risk of being beaten, kicked or hit rose along with her level of education.


According to the 2002 study, 45 percent of Indian women are slapped, kicked or beaten by their husbands. India also had the highest rate of violence during pregnancy. Of the women reporting violence, 50 percent were kicked, beaten or hit when pregnant. About 74.8 percent of the women who reported violence have attempted to commit suicide.



researchers found that the highest rates of sexual violence were among highly educated men. Thirty-two percent of men with zero years of education and 42 percent men with one-to-five years of education reported sexual violence. Among men with six-to-10 years of education--as well as those with high-school education and higher--this figure increased to 57 percent.

A similar pattern was seen when the problem was analyzed according to income and socioeconomic standing. Those at the lowest rungs of the socio-economic ladder--migrant labor, cobblers, carpenters, and barbers--showed a sexual violence rate of 35 percent. The rate almost doubled to 61 percent among the highest income groups.


Activists felt that for intervention strategies to succeed, attitudes about violence would have to change and the level of awareness, among both men and women, about the negative impact of violence had to be raised.

[bingleguy]

dsath ....

so u mean, wat i meant is wrong ?????

u mean to say, WOMEN are silent and always on the receiving end ...... seri .... ippadi irukkattum .... tell me a solution ..... lets see wat do u have in ur mind ....

[dsath]

appadi onnu nadandhaa en paathukittu summa irukkeenga .... adiyoda ozhikkavendiyadhu unga kadamai illayaa !
dsath ....

so u mean, wat i meant is wrong ?????

u mean to say, WOMEN are silent and always on the receiving end ...... seri .... ippadi irukkattum .... tell me a solution ..... lets see wat do u have in ur mind ....


The answer to your original question is in the article itself.


Kumud Sharma of the Centre for Women's Development Studies in New Delhi traced the correlation between education and domestic violence to patriarchal attitudes. "Educated women are aware of their rights," she said. "They are no longer willing to follow commands blindly. When they ask questions, it causes conflicts, which, in turn, leads to violence. In many Indian states, working women are asked to hand over their paycheck to the husband and have no control over their finances. So, if they stop doing so or start asserting their right, there is bound to be friction."

Women are not remaining silent anymore within the families and that is the reason for increased domestic violence in educated families. In fact the women based NGOs face a tough time reaching/helping middle class and upper middle class women, as they don't want to come out in open. They fear for the family honour and their reputation.

[bingleguy]

ys ... this is wat even i am trying to say .... i never said that CHAUVNISM is never there :-) adhu irundhudhu, irukkudhu .... but these days it has changed a lot .....

my question also is ....... wat is the use just talking about it ..... makkalukku poi seranum illayaa ????

i am aware of wat i am ..... so most of the thoughts would come as ...... what i think ..... about this .... wat i would do about this .... Quoting articles can just be references ... i wanted UR opinion ..... wat do U think about this :-) What are U goin to do for this :-)

so tell me how is the society gonna fight this ? THE SOLUTION ....

[pavalamani pragasam]

:notthatway: Jilaba, although i understand you. Rejecting marriage is not the right path for championing women's rights.
Male chauvinism is a spectrum, some are extreme, some are mild and a miniscule minority has none at all.
Rejecting marriage is escapism, why should women give up the right to become mothers because of chauvinistic men. We should not try to evade this problem, but try to solve it. If not this generation may be the future generations would benefit. 8-)
Wouldn't it be better to reform the society and appreciate the positive changes that are happening like the NDTV news story.
:idea:

:clap: :clap: :clap:

[pavalamani pragasam]

'Varadhatchinai Kodumai' is purely based on the marriage only. If the women decided to avoid marriages, then within fraction of minutes, this will disappear.

True or not..???.
Not true. Another ritual or custom will be invented to sustain male domination. Can you destroy a plant just because it has lots of weeds growing around it. Pull out the weeds and not the plant.
If the dowry system can be eradicated in Europe, it can be done in India also.


:clap: :clap: :clap:

[pavalamani pragasam]

Varathatchanai kodumai?? mmmmmmmmm

Is it really kodumai or does it exist because girls are trying to marry above their status/wealth. All said and done the world is mostly about money. How many post graduate girls are willing to marry a +2 failed jobless man who has no soththu or even a post graduate with no job/soththu? Everybody tries to climb the social money ladder by either marrying money, job or dowry. In that sense, girls are equally guilty of soththu or velai or visa kodumai like men are guilty of varathatchanai kodumai.
Are all marriages upwardly mobile? Many families actually become downwardly mobile after marrying off their daughters. How can you blame only girls when its actually the families that are arranging the marriage.
Are marriages between equals devoid of dowry?
Dowry is a social custom that was invented to empower women in days when women were not on equal footings with their male counterparts. It has been wrongly utilized and has aided and sustained male domination.
And now women are blamed for bringing all this upon themselves.

Its IMO similar to the Taliban policy of wearing the viel. ' Don't blame men for eve-teasing and other :evil: things. It is the women who are tempting them by not wearing the veil. If women wear the veil, why would a man be tempted to do all the :twisted: things he does.'
:idontgetit:
How come women end up taking all the blame for the evils penetrated upon them.


:clap: :clap: :clap:

[pavalamani pragasam]

mazhaikuruvi..

its not necessary for a girl to marry a jobless boy just to show that she is not behind money.
She can marry him only if she loves him so that his status is not going to be a hindrance for their journey together.

Jilaba..

male chauvinism appdinnu oNNu irukku enbadhaRkAga female chauvinism enru onRai uruvAkka vENdiyadhu anAvasiyam.
The world is changing. Future generation kitta azhuthamAga solla vENdiyadhai solli manadhil padhiya vaithAl pOdhum.

pazhikku pazhi... :angry2: revenge.. :rant: idhellAm TV serialukku mattum irukkattumE ! :P


:clap: :clap: :clap:

[pavalamani pragasam]

'Varadhatchinai Kodumai' is purely based on the marriage only. If the women decided to avoid marriages, then within fraction of minutes, this will disappear.

True or not..???.
Not true. Another ritual or custom will be invented to sustain male domination. Can you destroy a plant just because it has lots of weeds growing around it. Pull out the weeds and not the plant.


So, you clearly accept that, males are always thinking and inventing new methods & ways to dominate the ladies always. They will never allow ladies to live peacefully. The main way for their domination is 'marriage'. First it should be deleted from the society. Males will will never do such deletion. So, the females must boycot marriages and should stand in their own legs, without the support of any male dogs.

Jilaba, your vehement hatred of 'marriage' makes me ask you one question? Are you advocating celibacy for women or 'living together' without formally getting married??? :roll:

[pavalamani pragasam]

[tscii:da056d8034]




'Varadhatchinai Kodumai' is purely based on the marriage only. If the women decided to avoid marriages, then within fraction of minutes, this will disappear.

True or not..???.
Not true. Another ritual or custom will be invented to sustain male domination. Can you destroy a plant just because it has lots of weeds growing around it. Pull out the weeds and not the plant.


So, you clearly accept that, males are always thinking and inventing new methods & ways to dominate the ladies always. They will never allow ladies to live peacefully. The main way for their domination is 'marriage'. First it should be deleted from the society. Males will will never do such deletion. So, the females must boycot marriages and should stand in their own legs, without the support of any male dogs.
Jilaba, there is no denying that India is a male dominated society. Let me try my argument with a relative and valid example.
Sati was a cruel custom. If Raja Ram Mohan Roy went by your policy - women stop marrying - no marriage, no widows and hence no sati. Sati abolished - everyone happy !!!!! . If that was the case then we would not be living now to tell the story of successful sati abolition.
If women stop marrying now, there won’t be any future generations to tell the story of successful dowry eradication.
[/tscii:da056d8034]


:clap: :clap: :clap:

[bingleguy]

'Varadhatchinai Kodumai' is purely based on the marriage only. If the women decided to avoid marriages, then within fraction of minutes, this will disappear.

True or not..???.
Not true. Another ritual or custom will be invented to sustain male domination. Can you destroy a plant just because it has lots of weeds growing around it. Pull out the weeds and not the plant.


So, you clearly accept that, males are always thinking and inventing new methods & ways to dominate the ladies always. They will never allow ladies to live peacefully. The main way for their domination is 'marriage'. First it should be deleted from the society. Males will will never do such deletion. So, the females must boycot marriages and should stand in their own legs, without the support of any male dogs.

Jilaba, your vehement hatred of 'marriage' makes me ask you one question? Are you advocating celibacy for women or 'living together' without formally getting married??? :roll:

huh :roll: :-)

[pavalamani pragasam]

Sollunga ;-)

neenga enna census specialist aaa ;-) kodila onnu, lakshathula oruthanga, aayirathula onnu nnu cinema dialogue maadiri solreenga ;-) indha one in thousand kadhai ellam malai eri poyaachungo........ every learned individual has learnt to give respect to their partner .... seri unga paani la sollanum nna every other person :-) neenga dhaan partnership vendam nnu solreengale ....



u are too generalizing ..... naanum generalize panna virumbala .....
adimai paduthraanga nnu solreenag ... appadi onnu nadandhaa en paathukittu summa irukkeenga .... adiyoda ozhikkavendiyadhu unga kadamai illayaa !
This article by Swapna Majumdar is a must read for everyone who think that educated men treat their wives equally.
http://www.womensenews.org/article.cfm/dyn/aid/1591
Some quotes from the article


While the findings are not new, the study has incubated a new round of debate about the cultural underpinnings to domestic violence, especially in India, where the study found a woman's risk of being beaten, kicked or hit rose along with her level of education.


According to the 2002 study, 45 percent of Indian women are slapped, kicked or beaten by their husbands. India also had the highest rate of violence during pregnancy. Of the women reporting violence, 50 percent were kicked, beaten or hit when pregnant. About 74.8 percent of the women who reported violence have attempted to commit suicide.



researchers found that the highest rates of sexual violence were among highly educated men. Thirty-two percent of men with zero years of education and 42 percent men with one-to-five years of education reported sexual violence. Among men with six-to-10 years of education--as well as those with high-school education and higher--this figure increased to 57 percent.

A similar pattern was seen when the problem was analyzed according to income and socioeconomic standing. Those at the lowest rungs of the socio-economic ladder--migrant labor, cobblers, carpenters, and barbers--showed a sexual violence rate of 35 percent. The rate almost doubled to 61 percent among the highest income groups.


Activists felt that for intervention strategies to succeed, attitudes about violence would have to change and the level of awareness, among both men and women, about the negative impact of violence had to be raised.

:( :( :(

[pavalamani pragasam]

bg, this is the solution, quoted by dsath:


"Activists felt that for intervention strategies to succeed, attitudes about violence would have to change and the level of awareness, among both men and women, about the negative impact of violence had to be raised"


Jilaba maathiri kalyaaNam vENdaam, kalyaaNam vENdaam-nu solRathu is not the solution. Male & female chauvnism irukkaannu aaraaychi paNRathum waste! Let us create an awareness in our children as they grow up about mutual respect between the sexes. Catch them young. And let the elders set an example of loving humanity, both men & women equally. Let us strive to make life more meaningful, more satisfying, more respectable, more beautiful & more worthwhile!

[bingleguy]

bg, this is the solution, quoted by dsath:


"Activists felt that for intervention strategies to succeed, attitudes about violence would have to change and the level of awareness, among both men and women, about the negative impact of violence had to be raised"


Jilaba maathiri kalyaaNam vENdaam, kalyaaNam vENdaam-nu solRathu is not the solution. Male & female chauvnism irukkaannu aaraaychi paNRathum waste! Let us create an awareness in our children as they grow up about mutual respect between the sexes. Catch them young.

Ys .... and this is happenning in the current generation is wat i say PP maam :-)

indha vendam pathi naan pesaadhadhukku kaaranam ... :-) avanga opinion sonnanga ...avvalavudhaan ... adhukku badhi dsath sollitaanga :-)


And let the elders set an example of loving humanity, both men & women equally. Let us strive to make life more meaningful, more satisfying, more respectable, more beautiful & more worthwhile!
:clap::clap::clap:

[Roshan]

oh! bayangara sooda irukku inga. ippOthAn etti pArthEn :)

So many posts but special kudos to dsath for all her sensible responses :clap: :clap: :clap:



Women are not remaining silent anymore within the families and that is the reason for increased domestic violence in educated families. In fact the women based NGOs face a tough time reaching/helping middle class and upper middle class women, as they don't want to come out in open. They fear for the family honour and their reputation.

As a person who works for an NGO - which focuses mainly on Women and Women's Rights - I agree completely with what you have said here. Domestic violance in middle and upper middle class families is a very serious issue and as you said comapratively it's very difficult to reach the above sect due to the reasons mentioned by you. We recently conducted a research throught out the Island and published a citizen's report on Violance Against Women and the problems we came across were mostly in the middle and upper middle class families.

I also would like to add - that Violance Against Women or domestic violance or anything that is called violance doesnt mean ONLY physical violance/abuse. That's just a part of it and there's much more than what people think. It needs lot of time, effort, and a broad mind and a heart to understand the whole picture. Most of us infer from what we see in our families and the small world around us. There is much more than what we see and experience.

[bingleguy]

oh! bayangara sooda irukku inga. ippOthAn etti pArthEn :)

So many posts but special kudos to dsath for all her sensible responses :clap: :clap: :clap:


From my side too :-) :clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap:

[dsath]

[tscii:cbcf2d7327]
ys ... this is wat even i am trying to say .... i never said that CHAUVNISM is never there :-) adhu irundhudhu, irukkudhu .... but these days it has changed a lot .....

my question also is ....... wat is the use just talking about it ..... makkalukku poi seranum illayaa ????

i am aware of wat i am ..... so most of the thoughts would come as ...... what i think ..... about this .... wat i would do about this .... Quoting articles can just be references ... i wanted UR opinion ..... wat do U think about this :-) What are U goin to do for this :-)

so tell me how is the society gonna fight this ? THE SOLUTION ....
Well BG the implied meaning of the quote is that women are raising their voice and a whole generation is suffering silently for the ‘independence’ granted to them. Hopefully, the next generation will be better off with the foundation laid by the current generation. :)

As for me as an individual, i am afraid i am not doing as much as i can. I used to do some NGO work 7 years back. Now i donate money to charity organizations.

The whole point is almost everyone of us will know of, atleast one instance of domestic violence or dowry and still we cannot do anything abt it. For a start we can atleast acknowledge that these things are happening and there is a long way to go. The first step towards solving a problem will be to accept the existence of the problem. If we deny its existence, how are we going to resolve it.
[/tscii:cbcf2d7327]

[pavalamani pragasam]

:yes: We should be proud & happy to have hubbers like dsath among us! :2thumbsup:

[bingleguy]

The whole point is almost everyone of us will know of, atleast one instance of domestic violence or dowry and still we cannot do anything abt it. For a start we can atleast acknowledge that these things are happening and there is a long way to go. The first step towards solving a problem will be to accept the existence of the problem. If we deny its existence, how are we going to resolve it.

Very TRUE :clap:

[Roshan]

The whole point is almost everyone of us will know of, atleast one instance of domestic violence or dowry and still we cannot do anything abt it. For a start we can atleast acknowledge that these things are happening and there is a long way to go. The first step towards solving a problem will be to accept the existence of the problem. If we deny its existence, how are we going to resolve it.[/tscii]

GREAT !!!! :clap: :notworthy:

[kb]

is there any kind off survey available..

1)how many men beating their wife have sisters. :?:

avanuku oru thangatchi/akka irrundha ippadi ellam panna maataaan.

also they are not raised properly by their parents.

i would accept 5 to 10% men are naturally like this.. with short temper.

rest ellam vetti bandha.. oru adi thirupi adicha.. saathindu olunga nadanthukuvaanga..

those who are happy and successful wont be doing like this.. vera engaiyo prachana atha avinga wife kitta kaamikaraanga
:evil: :evil:

[Wibha]

is there any kind off survey available..

1)how many men beating their wife have sisters. :?:

avanuku oru thangatchi/akka irrundha ippadi ellam panna maataaan.

also they are not raised properly by their parents.

i would accept 5 to 10% men are naturally like this.. with short temper.

rest ellam vetti bandha.. oru adi thirupi adicha.. saathindu olunga nadanthukuvaanga..

those who are happy and successful wont be doing like this.. vera engaiyo prachana atha avinga wife kitta kaamikaraanga
:evil: :evil:

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

correct a sonneal :D

[dsath]

Thanks PPmam, Roshan and BG. :)
I think appreciation should go to people like Roshan who work to make positive changes in our society.
:clap: :clap: :clap:
Roshan, it is indeed a great humanitarian service to work for a NGO. People like you are the ones who are making a real difference. :thumbsup:

[dev]

நீங்கள் சொவதை நானும் நம்பத் தயாராயில்லை. உங்கள் கணவரின் அடி உதைகளுக்கு பயந்து பொய் சொலிகிறீர்களோ என்று சந்தேகப்படுகிறேன்.

காரணம், திருமணமான எந்த ஒரு பெண்ணும் ஆணாதிக்க கொடுமையில்லாமல் வாழ்வதேயில்லை. பலர் உங்களைபோல வெளியில் சொல்லப் பயந்து மூடி மறைக்கிறார்களேயன்றி, அவர்கள் சந்தோஷமாக வாழ்கிறார்கள் என்று அர்த்தமல்ல. உங்கள் கணவரை திருப்திப்படுத்த இப்படியெல்லாம் ஒரேயடியாக பொய்களை அரங்கேற்றாதீகள். நமக்கு தெரிந்த வகையில் திருமண்மான பெண்களெல்லாம் தங்கள் கணவர்கள் என்ற குடிகாரப் பேய்களிடம் இருந்து அடைந்தது எல்லாம் கொடுமைகளைத்தவிர வேறு ஒன்றுமில்லை.

ஒருவேளை... (சந்தேகம்தான்)... உங்க கணவர் அப்படியிருப்பது உண்மையென்றால். அது கோடியில் ஒன்று. இப்படி அபூர்வ கேஸ்களை வைத்து மொத்த சமுதாயத்திலும் ஆண்கள் நல்லவர்கள் என்று சொல்ல முடியாது.

பெண்களை அடிமைகளாக்கும், 'திருமணம்' என்னும் கொடிய வழக்கம் ஒழிக்கப் படவேண்டிய ஒன்று.

:lol2: :lol2: :lol2: Kaamalai kannuku kandathu ellam manjal... :D

[dev]

bg, this is the solution, quoted by dsath:


"Activists felt that for intervention strategies to succeed, attitudes about violence would have to change and the level of awareness, among both men and women, about the negative impact of violence had to be raised"


Jilaba maathiri kalyaaNam vENdaam, kalyaaNam vENdaam-nu solRathu is not the solution. Male & female chauvnism irukkaannu aaraaychi paNRathum waste! Let us create an awareness in our children as they grow up about mutual respect between the sexes. Catch them young. And let the elders set an example of loving humanity, both men & women equally. Let us strive to make life more meaningful, more satisfying, more respectable, more beautiful & more worthwhile!

:thumbsup:

:clap: @ dsath...

[dev]

Thanks PPmam, Roshan and BG. :)
I think appreciation should go to people like Roshan who work to make positive changes in our society.
:clap: :clap: :clap:
Roshan, it is indeed a great humanitarian service to work for a NGO. People like you are the ones who are making a real difference. :thumbsup:

:yes:

:clap: :clap: :clap: :notworthy: @ Roshan

[dev]

is there any kind off survey available..

1)how many men beating their wife have sisters. :?:

avanuku oru thangatchi/akka irrundha ippadi ellam panna maataaan.

also they are not raised properly by their parents.

i would accept 5 to 10% men are naturally like this.. with short temper.

rest ellam vetti bandha.. oru adi thirupi adicha.. saathindu olunga nadanthukuvaanga..

those who are happy and successful wont be doing like this.. vera engaiyo prachana atha avinga wife kitta kaamikaraanga
:evil: :evil:

:lol:

[Roshan]

Thanks dsath and Dev :notworthy:

But nAnga paNNuRathellAm kaiyyaLavuthAn - innum kadalaLavu pirachinaigaL niRaiya uNdu :( :cry:


kb,

As I have already said - Gender Based Violance is not necessarily physical abuse. There's much more than that :cry: :cry: and people need to learn and understand. It is every individual's moral responsibility.

[pavalamani pragasam]

Media can play a vital role in creating an awareness about this. It is a very powerful & far-reaching tool! Just imagine the effect the heroine of 'Puthumai peN' created! What wonderful dialogues, what climax, what message! New generation woman should have the guts to face & confront sadists & male chauvnists who have had a long reign with their base qualities, the most despicable samples of that sex! Woman has been taken for granted for too long! :evil:

[Roshan]

Woman

For every strong woman
tired of faking "weakness"

there is a man
tired of faking "strength"


For every woman
tired of faking "foolishness"

there is a man
tired of having to act as a "model of wisdom"


For each woman
tired of being labelled as an
"emotional female"

there is a man
who has been denied
the right to cry and be sensitive


For every sportswoman
whose femininity is questioned

there is a man forced to compete
inorder to give testimony of his virility


For every woman
tired of being considered a
"sexual object"

there is a man concerned about
his sexual performance


For every woman who has
not had access to a degnified salary

there is a man forced to bear the
economic burden of another human being


For every woman who ignores the
"secrets of car mechanics"

there is a man who doesnt know
how to "boil an egg"


For every woman that
steps towards her freedom

there is a man
who rediscovers the road to liberty


The human race is a two wing bird
one wing is female
the other is male
Unless both wings are equally developed
The human race will not be able to fly !!

[Roshan]

Some facts ...

Women and girls are the poorest of the poor because of the extreme forms of discrimination that persist in many parts of today’s world.

Women are often not allowed to own property or keep the money they earn; as farmers they get the most marginal land and as workers they are trapped in the worst jobs for the least pay. More girls than boys are denied education.

Men still have a monopoly on decision-making at every level from village councils to national government, so even when policies are introduced to help the poor, they often ignore the needs of women.

Men’s power over women often costs women their lives. Women are more vulnerable to HIV infection because they are not able to insist on protected sex, even when they know their partner is infected. Men often use physical violence to reinforce their power over women and girls.

The spread of HIV/AIDS thorugh southern Africa has underlined the extent to which women are subservient and powerless in society. They often have little say over their sexual lives. HIV possitive women are less likely to get support from their families and communities than men. In some cases they can be accused of prostitution, even when infected by their husbands. And they stand to lose any inheritance rights and mostly they are driven from their family and home.

Every time a family has good food to eat and clean water to drink, every day that a child arrives at school or a sick person makes it to the clinic, it’s usually a woman who has fought for this small, daily victory over adversity.


-70% of those living in poverty are women

-Women in poor countries grow more than 60% of the food but own - less than 1% of the land

-Every minute a woman dies as a result of pregnancy complications

-Over 65m girls in this world dont make it to school, even if their brothers do.

-Early Marriage? It imprisons the girls concerned
-Violance Against Women? It is still universal
-A political voice? Women are barely heard in public life
-HIV/AIDS? 90% of the caring is done by women; over 18m of them are themselves carrying the virus


:( :( :cry: :cry: :cry: :( :( [/tscii:022cfffc0b]

[selvakumar]

One thing I loved in Jilaba's reply ! :smile2:
Jilaba is opposing the concept called "Marriage" !
I think the present generation has already started implementing this :lol:
We are seeing same gender marriages and live-in relationships in India as well. Here few Pudumai pengal are already in "Live-in" relationships. :lol: ( I agree that % of men who fall under this category will be pretty high ) But ponnungalukm neraya per irukkaanga !

I am seeing a girl living with a guy (marriage pannama thaan :lol2: ) ! Beauty is her BF is abroad who will marry her shortly ! :smile2:

[Lambretta]

I am seeing a girl living with a guy (marriage pannama thaan :lol2: ) ! Beauty is her BF is abroad who will marry her shortly ! :smile2:
:roll: :x :banghead:

[Roshan]

Selva and Lamby,

When there are so many things happening against poor, vulnerable and marginalised women around the world - see you guys are bothered and concerned about the wayward behaviour of possibly an elite, upper class, rich woman. It's sad and pathetic :( Where are we and what is the way forward? I dont understand :( :cry:

[bingleguy]

I am seeing a girl living with a guy (marriage pannama thaan :lol2: ) ! Beauty is her BF is abroad who will marry her shortly ! :smile2:

Living together huh :-)

Onsite il ozhungaaga irukkum aangale ... pengale .... :-)
theriyaadhavargalai thirumanam seyya pogireergalaaaa ;-) :-)

Onsite la idellam sarva saadaaranamaa irukkalaam ... but inga ozhunga life a lead panravangalukku :-) idhu oru adi dhaan .....

[mr_karthik]

Jilaba..!, your arguements are foolishness (sorry).

Are our Indian women ready to live without marriage?. definitely the answer will be negative. Here also many memebers (including me) are opposing your statement.

Our women will never neglect the concept of marriage, but will fall in it and then cry "aangal enagalai saavadikiraargal, kollugiraargal, kodumai paduthukiraargal".

But not even a single women will appose marriage. They will marry at any cost, by giving dowry etc. and then will file the case in the 'kudumba nala court' for divorce. On watching all these things, other women also will fall in marriages. Because, they cant live without "............." or to control it.

[mr_karthik]

I am married to a very nice person whohas been very supportive of me in whatever I do... He has infact spent a few lakhs on my studies after we got married...& when I decided to startup something of my own rather than working for others, he gladly accepted that decision of mine & has even funded me to do whatever I wanted to... Never has he discouraged me from doing whatever I wish or against my career decisions... Infact he is more happy & proud than what I am, that I'm a CPA...He was happier than me to see that I am independent financially ... I would say tht he played a major role in making me a mentally stronger, confident person than what I was when we got married & the credit for all these goes to him... I don't think i could've been what i am now without those encouraging words & support from him all through...


Forwarded to all FEMINISTS, (including Jilaba) who are crying always

"Husbands are dominating their wives and keeping them as slaves".

[Lambretta]

Selva and Lamby,

When there are so many things happening against poor, vulnerable and marginalised women around the world - see you guys are bothered and concerned about the wayward behaviour of possibly an elite, upper class, rich woman. It's sad and pathetic :( Where are we and what is the way forward? I dont understand :( :cry:
Roshan,
I very much sympathise w/ ur statement.......similarly, we are (atleast Iam) concerned bout the fact that When there are so many things happening against poor, vulnerable and marginalised women around the world, the relatively better off present-gen girls (not nec. rich/elite only) w/out giving a thought to their plight, take their own freedom/independance for granted & think they've got the right to stoop down into such wayward behaviour promoted by the liberalised junk they r being exposed to, mistaking it as feminism & only degrading their dignity (of which they dont realise the value, unlike the poor, downtrodden women) in the process! :( :cry:

[Jilaba]

Jilaba..!, your arguements are foolishness (sorry).

Are our Indian women ready to live without marriage?. definitely the answer will be negative. Here also many memebers (including me) are opposing your statement.

Our women will never neglect the concept of marriage, but will fall in it and then cry "aangal enagalai saavadikiraargal, kollugiraargal, kodumai paduthukiraargal".

But not even a single women will appose marriage. They will marry at any cost, by giving dowry etc. and then will file the case in the 'kudumba nala court' for divorce. On watching all these things, other women also will fall in marriages. Because, they cant live without "............." or to control it.
கார்த்திக், நீங்க சொல்வதன் உள்ளர்த்தம் என்ன?. பெண்களைத் தாக்குகிறீர்களா? அல்லது தூக்குகிறீர்களா?. தாக்குகிறீர்கள் என்றால் நான் அதை வன்மையாக கண்டிக்கிறேன்.

'நமது பெண்களால் திருமணம் இல்லாமல் வாழ முடியாது. என்ன விலை கொடுத்தாகிலும் திருமணம் செய்தே தீருவார்கள்' என்று நீங்கள் சொல்லியிருப்பதன் உள்ளர்த்தம் என்ன?. பெண் என்றாலே ஆணின் உறவுக்காக ஏங்கும் பிண்டங்கள் என்ற நினைப்பா?. திருமணம் இல்லாமல் பெண்களால் வாழ முடியாதா?

முடியும்.. கண்டிப்பாக முடியும்.

இந்த 'திருமணம்' என்ற கேடுகெட்ட வழக்கத்தை, தங்கள் ஆதிக்கத்துக்காக ஆண்களால் உருவாக்கப்பட்ட வழக்கத்தை கையில் வைத்துக்கொண்டுதானே இந்த பேயாட்டம் போடுகிறீர்கள். அதை உடைத்தெறியும் காலம் வந்து விட்டது. திருமணத்தை விரும்பாத பெண்கள் சமுதாயம் உருவாகிக்கொண்டு இருக்கிறது.

இனி ஆண்களின் பாடு அதோகதிதான்.

[pavalamani pragasam]

:roll: :( :cry: :cry3:

[dev]

:roll: :( :cry: :cry3:

:lol:

[dev]

Jilaba..!, your arguements are foolishness (sorry).

Are our Indian women ready to live without marriage?. definitely the answer will be negative. Here also many memebers (including me) are opposing your statement.

Our women will never neglect the concept of marriage, but will fall in it and then cry "aangal enagalai saavadikiraargal, kollugiraargal, kodumai paduthukiraargal".

But not even a single women will appose marriage. They will marry at any cost, by giving dowry etc. and then will file the case in the 'kudumba nala court' for divorce. On watching all these things, other women also will fall in marriages. Because, they cant live without "............." or to control it.

:roll: Enna solla vareenga neenga?... enakku puriyalai!!!... :roll:

[pavalamani pragasam]

A war scene - woman bashing on one side & man bashing on the other side! :( Why such extreme stands?

[dsath]

A war scene - woman bashing on one side & man bashing on the other side! :( Why such extreme stands?
PP mam, there is nothing to worry. Age will mellow everything.
I can understand Jilaba's feeling. I had similar anti marriage feelings in my teen years. As we grow older, our extremism reduces and we can see more sense. :)
The problem is, men don't acknowledge the evils done against women and ignore them. All the hen-pecked husband jokes in our magazines don't help either. How many posts from male hubbers have we seen supporting or at least sympathizing with issues relating to Women's right (no controversy intended, just a general observation :) ). It is almost a taboo subject with men. This is what triggers extreme feelings like Jiaba's.
Of course there has been some positive changes between my parent's generation and mine, but still there is a long way to go.

[selvakumar]

Selva and Lamby,

When there are so many things happening against poor, vulnerable and marginalised women around the world - see you guys are bothered and concerned about the wayward behaviour of possibly an elite, upper class, rich woman. It's sad and pathetic :( Where are we and what is the way forward? I dont understand :( :cry:

Roshan,
That was just a reply to Jilaba ! Jilaba is concentrating only on the second category of women and is justifying their actions. Don't take that one seriously :P

[Roshan]

Alright Selva.. No probs :) :D 8-)

[mr_karthik]

இந்த 'திருமணம்' என்ற கேடுகெட்ட வழக்கத்தை, தங்கள் ஆதிக்கத்துக்காக ஆண்களால் உருவாக்கப்பட்ட வழக்கத்தை கையில் வைத்துக்கொண்டுதானே இந்த பேயாட்டம் போடுகிறீர்கள். அதை உடைத்தெறியும் காலம் வந்து விட்டது. திருமணத்தை விரும்பாத பெண்கள் சமுதாயம் உருவாகிக்கொண்டு இருக்கிறது.

இனி ஆண்களின் பாடு அதோகதிதான்.

hum.... idhu verum maayai, avvalavuthaan. anaal unmai nilai veru.

neengal vendumaanaal appadiyirukkalaam (evvalavu naalaikkunnu theriyaathu). anaa matra pengal appadiyillai.

"evvalavu varadhanai (dowry) koduththaavathu thirumanam seythe aaga vendum. thirumanam illaamal engallal vaazha mudiyaathu" endra nilaithaan pengalidam needikkirathu. adhai ungalaal onnum seyya mudiyaathu.

because, pengale ungalai support panna maattaargal. (indha threadil ulla pengal ulpada)

[madhu]

karthik..

dowry koduthAvadhu thirumaNam seidhu koNdE theeruvOm enRu nichayam peNgaL ninaikka mAttArgaL. samudhAyathin kattAyamum, kudumbathil uLLa matRavargaLin mana nilaiyai ninaithumE peNgaL vERu vazhi illAmal varadhatchinai koduthAvadhu thirumaNam aagattum enRu oppu koLgiRargaL.

uNmaiyil andha kAlathil "adhoo dhakshinai" enRa peyaril peN veetukku paNam koduthu avaLai pANigrahaNam seidhu koLLa vENdum enRa nilai irunthadhAm. Innum kooda gramangaLil parisam pOduvadhu enRa vishayam irundhu koNduthAn irukkiRadhu.

ingE sollapaduvadhu ellAm generalisation aaga mudiyAdhu. ivai ellAm avangavangaLukku open aagira jannal vazhiyE theriyum ulagam.. adhu muzhumaiyAnadhu alla.

May be if a particular type of opionion comes from most of the people here.. adhu ingu mattum nijam pOla thoNRum. avvaLavuthAn :P

[mgb]

ivai ellAm avangavangaLukku open aagira jannal vazhiyE theriyum ulagam.. adhu muzhumaiyAnadhu alla.
:clap: oru marathil irukkum kanigalil naam parikkum kani azhugalaaga irundhaal adhu marathin kutram alla.. kaniyai sariyaaga pariseelanai seiyaamal paritha namadhu kutram :)

[Roshan]

"evvalavu varadhanai (dowry) koduththaavathu thirumanam seythe aaga vendum. thirumanam illaamal engallal vaazha mudiyaathu" endra nilaithaan pengalidam needikkirathu. adhai ungalaal onnum seyya mudiyaathu.

Unfortunately YES !! - as long as the subcontinent is concerned. Exceptions latchathil onRuthAn. I even have seen some girls - who chose their partners themselves pestering their parents to give the required dowry in order to satisfy the guys' family and get their approval. Naan pArtha varaiyil 95% of arranged marriages paNathAl mudivu seyyappattavaiyE :evil:

[mr_karthik]

:clap: oru marathil irukkum kanigalil naam parikkum kani azhugalaaga irundhaal adhu marathin kutram alla.. kaniyai sariyaaga pariseelanai seiyaamal paritha namadhu kutram :)

Socratees kettAr pOnga....

sari, idhan moolam thAngaL therivikka virumbuvathu..??.

[mgb]

:clap: oru marathil irukkum kanigalil naam parikkum kani azhugalaaga irundhaal adhu marathin kutram alla.. kaniyai sariyaaga pariseelanai seiyaamal paritha namadhu kutram :)

Socratees kettAr pOnga....

sari, idhan moolam thAngaL therivikka virumbuvathu..??.namadhu sondha anubavangalai mattume vaithu naam mudivu seidhu, piragu manadhai iruga moodi kondu adhudhaan ulagam ena pidivaadham pidippadhu thavaru :)

[madhu]

:clap: oru marathil irukkum kanigalil naam parikkum kani azhugalaaga irundhaal adhu marathin kutram alla.. kaniyai sariyaaga pariseelanai seiyaamal paritha namadhu kutram :)

Socratees kettAr pOnga....

sari, idhan moolam thAngaL therivikka virumbuvathu..??.namadhu sondha anubavangalai mattume vaithu naam mudivu seidhu, piragu manadhai iruga moodi kondu adhudhaan ulagam ena pidivaadham pidippadhu thavaru :)

adhu mattum illAmal... naam irukkum soozhnilaiyil uruvAgum eNNangaLum, mudivugaLum adhE soozhnilaiyil irukkum innoru individual-ukku uruvAgAmal pogalAm..

chinna vayasula irundhE strict vegetarian-a irukkaravangaLukku non-veg items pArthAl kumattum. avanga ahimsai, kollAmai ellAm pEsuvAnga. adhaiyE pure non veg sApidaravangaLukku adhu thappE illai. adhu oru way of life.

enakku therindha peNgaLil sila pEr dowry problem vandhu kashta pattu irukkanga. innum niraiya arranged marriage-leye paiyan veetuleye selavu ellaam senju kalyanam senjukittu irukkanga.( usual-a paiyan veetula selavu seyyanumna register marriage senju simple-a nadathuvaanganu solradhu vazhakkam :lol: ).. but ivanga nallAve selavu senjaanga. idhu pola ovvonrum ovvoru vidhamA iruppadhAl generalise seyya vENdaam enRudhAn thonRugiradhu.

certainly dowry is an evil. adhai ozhikkaNum. domination either male or female is bad. ippadi vENumAnaal generalise seyyalaam.

Jail-la warden-a irukkaravar daily kolai senjavangaLaithAn pArpAr. Hostel warden dhinamum student-sai pArpAr. adhukkAga reNdaiyum oNNa ninaikka mudiyumA ?

aaNgaL kettavargaL enRu solli koNdu kalyANam seidhu koLLAmal irukka ninaithAl avargaLai pArthu paridhAba padathAn thoNRugiRadhu.. adhE kadhaithAn.. peNgaL meedhu thappu sollikoNdu kalyANam seyyAmal sutRum aaNgaLukkum :P

[mr_karthik]

:clap: oru marathil irukkum kanigalil naam parikkum kani azhugalaaga irundhaal adhu marathin kutram alla.. kaniyai sariyaaga pariseelanai seiyaamal paritha namadhu kutram :)

Socratees kettAr pOnga....

sari, idhan moolam thAngaL therivikka virumbuvathu..??.namadhu sondha anubavangalai mattume vaithu naam mudivu seidhu, piragu manadhai iruga moodi kondu adhudhaan ulagam ena pidivaadham pidippadhu thavaru :)

Nobody can give a fitting reply to Jilaba, like this.

Wonderful mgb.

[dsath]

[tscii:4e15875ad3]I do accept that everyone sees the world through their window and make perceptions out of it. But isn’t it sad that the window that Jilaba looked thru has had such a negative impact on her? Just because we don’t look thru her window we can’t deny the happening. Can we? Who knows, if we look thru her window we might form the same opinions.
Its not the window or the viewer that is the problem, the incidents that are happening on the other side of the window is the real problem and we have to acknowledge that. :(

Jialaba, the reason as to why we have this ‘all women must marry’ attitude is because of our society’s perception of woman and womanhood. A woman is always seen as an object that had to be ‘owned’. :twisted: There is no value to the object if is not ‘owned’. Also according to our society’s rule women can’t live alone.
Even today with IT booming and women having the same footing as men, discrimination hasn’t died off completely. Women are working away from home, but how many can stay alone and work. In today’s culture few people together rent a house and stay together. If a man wants he can rent/buy a house and stay on his own, but a woman doing the same will be looked differently and her integrity will come into question. So it kind of becomes mandatory to live with some company. Parents can’t provide this company forever and hence it becomes mandatory for women to marry.
The problem here is society’s attitude in general. All I can say is that you are barking at the wrong tree.
mr_karthik, nenge entha side goal poda try panringe? :roll: [/tscii:4e15875ad3]

[pavalamani pragasam]

Is it just the social attitude that matters? Are not man & woman complementary, meant to live in fullness by uniting together? Does not Nature has it in its original, eternal design?

[dsath]

Is it just the social attitude that matters? Are not man & woman complementary, meant to live in fullness by uniting together? Does not Nature has it in its original, eternal design?
The answer to all those questions is Yes. :)
But is it not also true that there is no equivalent term for Brahmachariam for the feminine gender?
When men can opt out of marriage and live a life of abstinence, why is there no provision for women to do the same?
Why did Avaiyar turn into an old lady to lead a spiritual life?
Just imagine for a minute that Abdul Kalam was born a woman (same intelligence and same personality). Would she have reached the same position?

[pavalamani pragasam]

A point to ponder. But in christianity celibacy of nuns is quite possible, acceptable, laudable. Hindu men have the trick of calling a virgin woman, mother! Somehow, I can't fully understand the reverence enjoyed by Ramakrishnar & Saradha Devi!

[bingleguy]

இனி ஆண்களின் பாடு அதோகதிதான்.

:roll: :-) :lol: :rotfl:

[pavalamani pragasam]

ninaipputhaan pozappa kedukkuthu! :lol:

[Lambretta]

Just imagine for a minute that Abdul Kalam was born a woman (same intelligence and same personality). Would she have reached the same position?
Y not?? Didnt we have a woman as PM- Indira Gandhi? :huh: :roll:
Or r there not women who r CMs in sum states today?

[Wibha]

Just imagine for a minute that Abdul Kalam was born a woman (same intelligence and same personality). Would she have reached the same position?
Y not?? Didnt we have a woman as PM- Indira Gandhi? :huh: :roll:
Or r there not women who r CMs in sum states today?

but she would have never been given the place of what APJ Sir is now. chanceless............The people would never have let her

[Lambretta]

but she would have never been given the place of what APJ Sir is now. chanceless............The people would never have let her
:roll: Sheesh! A little optimism wouldnt hurt now would it? :huh:

[Jilaba]

இந்திய மக்கள் தொகையில் சரிபாதி பெண்கள் இருக்கும்போது, அதென்ன 33% ரிசர்வேஷன்...??. அது கூட எப்போ வரும்னு தெரியலை. ஏன் இந்த ஆண்கள் நினைத்திருந்தால் எப்போதோ அந்த சட்டத்தைக் கொண்டு வந்து நிறைவேற்றியிருக்க முடியாதா..?.

எல்லாம் பாசாங்கு. ஏமாறுகிற பெண் குலம் இருக்கும்வரை ஏமாற்றுகிற ஆண்களுக்கு கொண்டாட்டம்தான். இங்குள்ள படித்த பெண்களுக்கே அது புரிய மாட்டேங்குதே. அப்புறம் எங்கே பாமர மக்கள் தெளிவு பெற....?.

எல்லா இடங்களிலும் பெண்களுக்கு 50% ஒதுக்கீடு வேண்டும். அதை தர மறுக்கும் ஆண்குலத்தை வேரறுப்போம்.

[pavalamani pragasam]

Women need never wait for reservation. urimai enbathu eduththukkoLLa vENdiya onRu. yaarum koduththu peRuvathalla. 50% argument is absolutely right. Why, even 100% is OK! Women do have the proficiency. But do they opt for taking political responsibilities? How eagerly do they come out to stand for election? Even without reservation what is preventing them from standing for posts? Do not blame men or constitution for the deliberate choice of women to keep away from active politics. In open copmpetition let women compete if they are so inclined.

[bingleguy]

இந்திய மக்கள் தொகையில் சரிபாதி பெண்கள் இருக்கும்போது, அதென்ன 33% ரிசர்வேஷன்...??.

எல்லா இடங்களிலும் பெண்களுக்கு 50% ஒதுக்கீடு வேண்டும். அதை தர மறுக்கும் ஆண்குலத்தை வேரறுப்போம்.

marupadiyum ..... venum venum nnu kekkureengale :-)
edhulayum reservation irukka koodaadhu .......... thiramai iruppavargalukku oppurtunity kidaikkanum .... adhu aangalaaga irundhaalum seri pengalaaga irundhaalum seri nnu . ...sollirindheenganna :-) ungalai paaraatalaam :-) adhai vittutu, marupadiyum kodu kodu nnu ketta enna artham :-)

RESERVATION appadingardhe first edhukku ????? edhukkaaga ODHUKKEEDU????
thiramai enga irukko, vaaipu anga kidaikkatumae ....... ellathalume !

[Wibha]

but she would have never been given the place of what APJ Sir is now. chanceless............The people would never have let her
:roll: Sheesh! A little optimism wouldnt hurt now would it? :huh:

no use being optimistic.............it's the fact.................

[Lambretta]

Fine.....whatever u say.....:roll: :|

[Jilaba]

Is it just the social attitude that matters? Are not man & woman complementary, meant to live in fullness by uniting together? Does not Nature has it in its original, eternal design?

Unfortunately not even a single MAN thinking like this.

When they sit for marriage, they are not thinking that it is for living together. Their thinkings are to bring a slave, in the name of wife to work for them in their whole life.

They never think about her willingness, her personal ambitions etc. She must obey their orders, even if it is wrong. Otherwise...? she will get nothig but 'adi', 'udhai' or atleast 'thittu'.

I really surprise, why all the women want to live as slaves in the name of marriage. Are they not willing to get atleast self respect..?.

[pavalamani pragasam]

Jilaba, appearances are very deceptive! All slavery is not slavery, & all independence is not independence! Besides you seem to have a very superficial knowledge of macho psychology!!! Palapazaththai (jackfruit) urikka sOmbalpattaal suvaiyaana suLai kidaikkaathu! Feminine skills are categorised into 4 groups by our sensible elders all for the happiness of both men & women. Again all winning is not winning & all losing is not losing! Look deeper into lives & minds!

[Lambretta]

Well said, PP ma'm! :D

[aanaa]

இந்திய மக்கள் தொகையில் சரிபாதி பெண்கள் இருக்கும்போது, அதென்ன 33% ரிசர்வேஷன்...??. அது கூட எப்போ வரும்னு தெரியலை. ஏன் இந்த ஆண்கள் நினைத்திருந்தால் எப்போதோ அந்த சட்டத்தைக் கொண்டு வந்து நிறைவேற்றியிருக்க முடியாதா..?..
so has to decide by men


எல்லாம் பாசாங்கு. ஏமாறுகிற பெண் குலம் இருக்கும்வரை ஏமாற்றுகிற ஆண்களுக்கு கொண்டாட்டம்தான். .

:-)))

இங்குள்ள படித்த பெண்களுக்கே அது புரிய மாட்டேங்குதே. அப்புறம் எங்கே பாமர மக்கள் தெளிவு பெற....?.
.
:?:

எல்லா இடங்களிலும் பெண்களுக்கு 50% ஒதுக்கீடு வேண்டும். அதை தர மறுக்கும் ஆண்குலத்தை வேரறுப்போம்.

:D

[saradhaa_sn]

Dear Jilaba,

ஆண்கள் மேல் உங்களுக்கு ஏன் இவ்வளவு வெறுப்பு வந்தது என்று எனக்கு தெரியவில்லை. ஒருகாலத்தில் டாக்டர் மற்றும் ஆசிரியை தவிர வேறு துறைகளில் பெண்கள் இல்லையென்பது உண்மைதான் என்றாலும், இன்றைக்கு பெண்களின் இந்தளவு முன்னேற்றத்துக்கு ஆண்கள் ஒரு முக்கிய காரணம் என்பதை மறுக்க முடியாது.

ராணுவத்திலும் காவல் துறையிலும் பெண்கள் இன்றைக்கு சாதிக்கிறார்கள் என்பது ஒரு உண்மையென்றால், அதற்கு வழி ஏற்படுத்தி கொடுத்த ஆண்களும் முக்கிய காரணமில்லையா?. இதற்கு முன்னர் ஆண்கள்தானே முழுக்க முழுக்க அந்த துறையில் இருந்தார்கள். அப்படீன்னா, பெண்களையும் இதில் பணியாற்றச்செய்யலாம் என்று முடிவு செய்தவர்கள் அவர்கள்தானே?. வழி ஏற்படுத்திக் கொடுத்தவர்கள் ஆண்கள், அதை நன்றாக பயன்படுத்திக்கொண்டவர்கள் பெண்கள் என்றுதான் பார்க்க வேண்டும். அதுதான் உண்மையும் கூட.

இந்திரா காந்தி ஒரு தொகுதியில் நின்று ஒரு எம்.பி.யாக ஆகலாம். ஆனால் அவரை பிரதமராக தேர்ந்தெடுத்தது, பாராளுமன்றத்தில் பெரும்பான்மையாக இருக்கும் ஆண் எம்.பி.க்கள் தான். நீங்கள் சொவது போல அத்தனை ஆண் எம்.பி.க்களுக்கும் 'ஆணாதிக்கம்' தலை தூக்கியிருந்தால், இன்றுவரை ஒரு பெண் பிரதமரை நாம் அடைந்திருக்க முடியாது.

இதே நிலைமைதான் இங்கு ஜெயலலிதாவுக்கும். வெறும் பெண் எம்.எல்.ஏக்கள் மட்டும் ஆதரவளித்து அவரை முதலமைச்சர் ஆக்கிவிட முடியாது.

வரதட்சணை கொடுமையில் முக்கிய பங்கு வகிப்பவள் மாப்பிள்ளையின் அம்மா என்ற பெண்தான். நாம் பல இடங்களில் பார்க்கிறோம். தன் பையனுக்கு சம்பந்தம் பேசும்போது, மாப்பிள்ளையும் அவன் அப்பாவும் 'டம்மி'யாக்கப்பட்டு விடுகின்றனர். அவர்கள் வரதட்சணை கேட்டால் கூட முன்னின்று தடுக்க வேண்டிய அம்மாக்காரி என்ன செய்கிறாள்?. அவ்ர்கள் கேட்காவிட்டாலும் கூட, இவளே முன்னின்று வரதட்சணை பேரம், நகை பேரம் பேசுகிறாள். நம் வீட்டில் வாழ வரப்போகிறவளும் நம்மைப்போல, நம் மகளைப்போல ஒரு பெண்தானே என்ற எண்ணம் மாப்பிள்ளையின் அம்மா என்ற பெண்ணுக்கு வரவில்லையே. ஏன்..??. இதற்கும் ஆண்களா காரண்ம்..??.

ஆண்களின் கொடுமைகளை மட்டும் பேசுகிறீர்களே. எத்தனை இடங்களில் ஆண்கள், பெண்களிடம் சிக்கி அவதிப்படுகிறார்கள் என்பதை பெண்களாகிய நாம் என்றாவது சிந்தித்து இருக்கிறோமா?.

உங்கள் மனதில் ஆண்களைப்பற்றிய தவறான எண்ணம் ஒரு வடுவாக அமைந்துவிட்டது. முதலில் அதைக்களைய முற்படுங்கள்.

[joe]

சாரதா :thumbsup:

[joe]

இன்றும் நம் சமூகம் ஒரு ஆண் மேலாதிக்க சமூகம் என்பதை மறுக்க முடியாது .ஆனாலும் பெண்ணுரிமைக்காக குரல்கொடுத்த பெண்களைவிட பாரதியார்,பெரியார் போன்ற ஆண்களே அதிகம் .

[mr_karthik]

Saradha madam,

Romba theLivaana sindhanai ungaLukku. Hats off.

UngaLidam pengaL katrukkoLLa vEndiyathu yEraaLam...yEraaLam.....

[bingleguy]

நம் வீட்டில் வாழ வரப்போகிறவளும் நம்மைப்போல, நம் மகளைப்போல ஒரு பெண்தானே என்ற எண்ணம் மாப்பிள்ளையின் அம்மா என்ற பெண்ணுக்கு வரவில்லையே. ஏன்..??.

:yes: :thumbsup:

sometimes ..... romba kodumayaana vishayam enna nna ..... adhukku maruppu sollaaada magan ..... KARANAM :roll:

[Badri]

நம் வீட்டில் வாழ வரப்போகிறவளும் நம்மைப்போல, நம் மகளைப்போல ஒரு பெண்தானே என்ற எண்ணம் மாப்பிள்ளையின் அம்மா என்ற பெண்ணுக்கு வரவில்லையே. ஏன்..??.

:yes: :thumbsup:

sometimes ..... romba kodumayaana vishayam enna nna ..... adhukku maruppu sollaaada magan ..... KARANAM :roll:

No, it is time to push this back to women! Forget how the son behaves, traditionally, maamiyar-maatrupen sandai thaan perusa irukku.

Inga Aan vargathukku velai illai. Pengal thaan ithukku bathil solla vendum.

Husbands may love their wives and wives may not have any problems with the husbands...the issue only lies with the Mother-in-law.

Aangalum, yaarai vittu kodupathu endru theriyaamal, thavikkum nilamai...ellam pengalaal vantha kodumai

[pavalamani pragasam]

:lol: Jilaba yOsanaippadi kalyaaNaththai oziththuvidalaam! aaNkaL nimmathiyaaka(!?) irukkalaam! :rotfl:
Badri, kaalam maaRivittathu, TV serialkaLil mattumthaan maamiyaar kodumai athikam. nijaththil maamiyaarkaL vaalai suruttikkoLLa pazakivittaarkaL!!! Increasing 'education' levels & economic independence of sons besides rarity of joint family system contribute to this inevitable change!

[bingleguy]

Husbands may love their wives and wives may not have any problems with the husbands...the issue only lies with the Mother-in-law.

Aangalum, yaarai vittu kodupathu endru theriyaamal, thavikkum nilamai...ellam pengalaal vantha kodumai

:rotfl: Badri nna ..... otte kalakku kalakki ;-)

Well ... truly portrayed ...... indha vishayam neenga eduthu sonnadhu oru alavukku sariye ..... generally thani kudithanam poravangalo, illai oruthanga innoruthangalai adakka therinjavangalo... indha maadiri prachanai la maatikkardhu illai ....

typical egoistic nature ..... hubby wife mattum illai .... MIL DIL la yum undu ..... nethikki varaikkum thaan solra dhai kettukondu irudha avaloda payyan, innikki manaivi nnu oruthi vandha udanayum avalukku pudicha maadiri panradhu ..... othu pogardhu illai .... well, in contra ... life la inimae better half aa irukka vendiya thaan solli ketkaama ... thannoda amma solradhai ketta .... boogambam dhaan ....

idhukku rendukkum naduvula maatikittu irukkiravanga :-) paavam aangal :-)

[mr_karthik]

Badri, kaalam maaRivittathu, TV serialkaLil mattumthaan maamiyaar kodumai athikam. nijaththil maamiyaarkaL vaalai suruttikkoLLa pazakivittaarkaL!!!


PP madam,

What saradha madam tells is, a mother-in-law is also a WOMAN and she already crossed the period of daughter-in-law in her life, and knows very well about the pains of a DIL.

But when she becomes a Mother-in-law, how she comfortably forgets her previous pains and starts to do 'kodumais' for her present daughter-in-law?.

That means a WOMAN (MIL) is not treating another WOMAN (her DIL) as a normal human being, how can women can blame MEN for everything...??.

First a Woman MUST understand another WOMAN.

Oru veettil vaazha vandhirukkum pennaippatri illaathathum pollaathathum solli maamiyaar manadhil vishaththai thoovi viduvathu yaar theriyumma?. andha areavil uLLa PENGAL thaane thavira aangaL alla.

[pavalamani pragasam]

Broad generalisation!!!

[mr_karthik]

nethikki varaikkum thaan solra dhai kettukondu irudha avaloda payyan, innikki manaivi nnu oruthi vandha udanayum avalukku pudicha maadiri panradhu ..... othu pogardhu illai ....

idhukku orE vazhi, AVAL than maganukku thirumanam seythu vaikkaamal, eppOthum than madiyilEyE vaiththukkoLLa vEndum.

aanaal pennaippetra APPANIDAM irundhu (kavanikkavum... pennidam irundhO allathu pennin ammaavidam irundhO alla) 'varadhatchanai'yai karappatharkaaga, paiyanukku thirumanam sythu vaikka vEndiyathu. Pinnar marumagaL vandhathum avaLai kodumaippaduththa vEndiyathu... idhu enna niyaayam..???.

maamiyaargaL seyyum indha kodumaigaL patri endha maadhar sangamaavathu, magaLir panchaayaththAvathu vaai thiRappaargaLaa?... oooohummm. avagaLukku thitta therindhathu ellaam onnE onnuthaan... "aangaL"... "aangaL...aangaL"...

[pavalamani pragasam]

pazaiya paattu onnu njaapakam varuthu:
'neengaL aththanai pErum uththamarthaanaa sollungaL'
iru paalaarilum black sheep uNdu. appuRamum pozuthu pOkkaaka argue paNnikkoNdirukkiROm!

[thilak4life]

The broad generalizations be damned.

Instead of finger-pointing the individuals, or groups (as in MIL, DIL, husbands, sons, etc), we should be looking at the system!, Not just the current state, how much it has sustained and changed over-the-years!

Let's understand the age-old chauvinistic structure, women are overtly dependent on men (father, husband and son)! As she grows old, she is possessive over her son. Heck, you get a car and you drive it for years, wouldn't you be possessive of that damn thing? Imagine that to be a son, after all, we have seen numerous thamizh films which rides/dwells on this sentiment, " flesh taken out of her womb". Just in case it sounded funny, wipe that smirk off. I'm serious. You can imagine the years of pain, effort, love and grooming has gone through. Why would she feel 'insecure' about another woman entering into her household? She's worried about being ignored. It's quite natural. Now the question is, the psyche, How would you prevent that 'sense of seclusion', fear, detachment, etc?
அதெ விட்டுட்டு :oops:

Now don't get me wrong, It's dependent on the entities (MIL, DIL, son/husband) but wouldn't it be much easier, had it been without this dependency on men and the closely-knit structure of Indian families surely doesn't help, do they?

Not all women are at fault, just like how all men aren't. Let's change our MCP-induced-structure first.

[pavalamani pragasam]

Makes good sense!

[pavalamani pragasam]

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[/tscii:cb59aa3551]

[Lambretta]

:? :huh: :ashamed:

[pavalamani pragasam]

Sorry, Lambretta! It my entry for a essay competition held by a local vernacular daily for the 60th Independence Day exclusively for ladies, the topic, 'Have we obtained independence'. I failed to make it to the list of 10 winners! :cry3: So I sought some solace in posting it here since it is sure to be read by some! I am too bored with the result to give a translation at present!

[pavalamani pragasam]

Today I have started reading Michael Crichton's 'Next'. Nowadays I am very busy playing hostess to expected & unexpected guests, so it might be weeks before I finish reading it. As usual some casual observations of English novelists on present day trends make me pause & reflect over it with a sad heart. A sample from the first chapter:

"Here he was, alone in this damn city, with more beautiful women per square foot than he had ever seen in his life. True, they were plastic, lots of surgery, but they were also sexy as hell."

[Sudhaama]

[tscii:9b07ee3cd6]

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†¥õ.!!!.. Ţ󨾧Â.!

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.[/tscii:9b07ee3cd6]

[pavalamani pragasam]

:clap:

[mr_karthik]

இந்த த்ரெட்டை ஏன் கிடப்பில் போட்டுட்டீங்க?.

ஆண்களைத் திட்டித்தீர்க்க அருமையான களமாயிற்றே.

[pavalamani pragasam]

பெண்களுக்கும் இஙு திட்டு குட்டு எல்லாம் கொடுக்கப்படுமே, வெட்ககேட்டை சொல்லும் போது ஆணென்ன பெண்ணென்ன பாகுபாடெல்லாம் கிடையாது!!!

[pavalamani pragasam]

Some armchair musings:

True to my tagline as I watch the trends of the world and from two latest stories that came to my knowledge I see what a thorny bed love marriage can be. I am amused, annoyed, outraged & ashamed by the various implications of these incidents.

First is the love story of 2 college birds in an engineering college. Both families being broadminded in allowing full freedom to their wards nothing unhappy happened throughout their course & afterwards when both were suitably placed in jobs. The boy's parents thought the time ripe for consummating the marriage. At this junction cropped up a problem: though both belonged to the same community, the boy's family is Hindu & the girl's family is Christian. The girl & her family asked the boy to convert to Christianity before taking the final step. The boy's family was not eager to convert him, but willing to let him walk to the altar to take the marriage oath in their style. But it was allowed only if he converted which involved his attending Bible classes for a stipulated time. At this prospect the boy's family, including him, did serious rethinking and called off the wedding. Now the boy's mother who is my acquaintance is looking for an alliance for son in the traditional procedure. The love story being no secret many of the eligible brides' parents are looking askance.
What baffles me is how was the boy clueless to the girl's religious convictions during his courtship. What annoys me is the necessity for both of them to turn a new leaf after having dreamt of marriage with each other for so many years. What are the effects of the past on their future lives? Have they not marred their own pure enjoyment? Was it inevitable? How strong is 'love' today? How do priorities change so easily? How beautiful would it have been to start life on a clean slate? Why can't youth have a clear perception of their life choices? All round embarrassment in both families. This not being intelligent or responsible on the part of young people whom I look upon so much for a dignified tomorrow. So, 'love' is a soap bubble to vanish in thin air! Empty nothingness?

The second is still more serious. Here the professionals in love are of 2 different religions: Mudhaliar boy & Muslim girl. Both parents out of compulsion, decency, magnanimity have consented. The boy's mother demands the girl's name be changed & wedding solemnised in their traditional way. The elders of the girl's family are agonised & outraged. The mother laments at the loving care she took in choosing a name for her when she was born. A date is fixed for the engagement which is to be in the mode of the boy's family tradition. Though the girl's house is palatial, roomy enough for the function, the menfolk are too wounded to have it under their roof. So a hall is being arranged. No cheer in the girl's family for the rites unknown/unfamiliar to them. Sincere involvement, cooperation in the proceedings carries the danger of ruffling the feathers of their religious heads which might even lead to very serious predicaments of violent eruptions. The general relief would have been a register office marriage followed by a dinner in a hall. But the boy's mother is bent on a traditional marriage. The boy says he will look after well once she becomes their family member. If he can't make his mother respect their sentiments now how is he going to after? Tries to play goody boy to both mother & lover. A coward, in short. Is not the girl taking too big risk, gambling her happiness on the assurance of an inept boy? Does she realise the pain she is causing to her parents & relatives? After all is not the blessings of elders the most precious dowry a girl take to her in-laws' house?

Bitter compromises making the base of a marriage makes it a travesty! Love is blind, they say. Very true. Inconsiderate & thankless too. Is it love or pure play of hormones, unthinking attraction, practically unwise bringing unnecessary pain & problems? Blessed are the parents with children who do not succumb to such fatal fancies!!!

[crazy]

sounds weird :?

did they never bothered to talk about religion/ conversion b4 the marriage?
if the really loved :? each other ...why couldnt they simply go for a reg. marriage? rendu pakkathukkum sangadam illaama poi irukkume :roll:

seems like they were fooling themself and us ...
it was just a play/ fun for them ?!

hm...eeshwara

[pavalamani pragasam]

Heartburns for bringing up such irresponsible, idiotic, inconsiderate children!

[crazy]

enakku ennamo parents melayum konjam thappu irukkunnu thaan thonudhu...

[littlemaster1982]

enakku ennamo parents melayum konjam thappu irukkunnu thaan thonudhu...

:notthatway: Avanga periyavanga. Avanga edhu senchaalum thappilla. Don't you know that?

[crazy]

enakku ennamo parents melayum konjam thappu irukkunnu thaan thonudhu...

:notthatway: Avanga periyavanga. Avanga edhu senchaalum thappilla. Don't you know that?

yeah...but adhu epadi pasanga pazhagum varaikkum religion oru prachanai'ya theriyaadhavanga ...kalyanathuappo thaan vandhu ...mudiyaathu/ pidikkala/ aahadhu etc solluvaanga :?

[bingleguy]

Tries to play goody boy to both mother & lover. A coward, in short.

:-)

indha topic kku podhuvaa sollalai ...

iru tharappaiyum samaalikka - samathuvamaa - samadhaanamaa - balanced aa irundha - is that termed as KOZHAITHANAM :-)