A shame [Archive] - Page 2

Lambretta

23rd November 2005, 08:09 AM

Then you have big fat sarath kumar all over an equally fat Namitha who is wearing an excuse for a saree(worn exclusively to raise the temp of adolecent boys).The scenes are so sick that I find it diff to sit with my husband and watch the scene leave alone my parents !!
Yes, I know how it feels!! Even Surya'd mentioned this scene abt SK & Namitha in the kushboo thread........and to think tat the Saree is supposed to be a very sacred attire for Indian women..... :evil: 'wonder if SK feels remotely ashamed if he goes to sum temple & prays to sum Goddess clad in a Saree......!
These films r the main reason tat even women in Sarees r not given respect today......

I would say I am a mordern women not into her 30s yet so not really from another generation but hey these are the times I feel like shouting "what the hell's happened to womens lib now..or is this what you mean by womens lib?Has the role of women in todays society reduced to this?"If thats what it is then its a real pity we cant go back in time :roll: !
Cheers SS! :clap: I very much agree w/ u tat being a "modern" woman doesn't mean accepting all this nonsense as women's lib. etc..........in fact the kind of things w/ respect to women tat r happening today r going farther away from the original concept of women's lib. (which meant giving rights/justice to women, treating them equally), and r instead perpetuating a dislike for the entire cultural set-up of womanhood & a drive towards material/sense-based perversity laced on the surface w/ ideas of women's lib./feminism.....its high time tat womenfolk in India saw thru these farcical ideas!

a.ratchasi

23rd November 2005, 08:24 AM

...Don't just blame the movie industry. They are giving whatever sells.

Sandeep, I beg to differ. The industry definitely needs a control mechanism as it is already way out of its perimeter.

There are many ways to show otherwise crude scenes. However, these are blown out of proportion by the very media that marvels at movie making by transforming these acts into lewd ones and dare propogate as if it is the norm. Which, in fact, is not.

Why do the female vegetable seller needs to show her body?
Why do the 'innocent' village belle need to take off her saree?
Why do the dancers need to perform suggestively?
Why do the comedian's love interest show her body?

Are there any demand for these at all?
Would the audience refrain from viewing a wholesome family entertainer for the lack of such demeaning scenes? I don't think so!

The problem is, the industry is very much into creating demand for a market that they themselves are trying nurture.

As much as smoking scenes are abhored by many, the industry should stop at all cost filming such third rated ones too. Enough of the hypocrisy displayed by the industry and stars.
If only they know how ingorant and foolish they sound.

If smoking scenes are banned for the well being of the youths, so should the lewd ones.

pavalamani pragasam

23rd November 2005, 08:38 AM

Well said, a.r :thumbsup:

Lambretta

23rd November 2005, 08:43 AM

Cheers to ur post too A.R! :thumbsup:
Incidentally I recall watching the trailer of Thuvalutho Ilamai (teenage story, *ing Dhanush as a high school boy) on TV a few yrs ago.......in one of the songs they showed how all the boys in the class stare at the exposed waist of the teacher while she teaches, to the extent of moving their heads as she moves to the side! Tat was downright disgusting!! :evil: :banghead:
And to top it all, they give an excuse tat all this happens in reality.......but they don't bother to think.....this was a movie meant to be watched by teenagers, wat respect for women teachers r they creating in the minds of students w/ such lewd scenes, in the name of "entertainment" as Sarat Kumar the gr8 puts it :hammer: ! And its not as if many teachers wear Sarees in tat manner either!
Projecting women in this way is only stereotyping them as sex objects, which is a far cry from the women's lib. tat is being aimed at today!

Scale

23rd November 2005, 10:44 AM

Sandeep

23rd November 2005, 10:48 AM

A.R. agree with you.

Movie industry sure requires self-censoring and that 99% vulgarity in movies are not needed and doesnot tell the reality.

But I will add "dont just blame the movie industry. They are giving whatever sells" . There are hundreds if not thousands of men (note i am saying men not boys, most of them married) drooling over those scenes.

Why doesnt anyone from TNT do anything to stop these scenes. Why doesnt the general public boycott such movies. We have successfully done it in kerala. Where is Shakeela now. We forced the most popular star in kerala, Mohanlal, to stop acting in scenes by simply boycotting his films. His movies continuesly failed because women simply refused to go for them(2001 2002 years). There was no mob violence, no politics, no demonstration. But the message was delivered to him and the difference is seen in his movies in last 1-2 years.

Lambretta

23rd November 2005, 11:03 AM

Lambretta (LS)!
It was dhanush brother (Kasthuriraja's son, Selvaraghavan) who directed that movie. *******. Pls dont dig(care) to know about his next 2 films KK & 7G RC. Horrible!
FYAI, He has been honoured as a successful director in TFI :banghead:
Scale,
yea I rem. it was Selvaragavan who directed TI.......um, kk= Kadhal Kondein?? :?
I must admit I'm not as up to date w/ the newer movies as I seldom like to watch them, come to know abt the details mainly from reviews on the net, overheard conversations etc........:)
Yea its a shame such ppl. r honoured as best directors! And they care to give rotten eggs only to Kushboo.....um, pardon my ignorance but wats FYAI??!
And btw, hav we met b4 in this hub, considering tat u know my previous ID? :)

Lambretta

23rd November 2005, 11:12 AM

But I will add "dont just blame the movie industry. They are giving whatever sells" . There are hundreds if not thousands of men (note i am saying men not boys, most of them married) drooling over those scenes.
True......I rem. reading sumwhere in the old TFM page tat in theatres in Madras, whenever scenes showing the pallu/munthani of a woman falling appear, the male audience gets all excited & claps/whistles over it! :evil: Imagine the plight of ladies who come there to watch those movies (which r assured to be "family" movies!)......

Why doesnt the general public boycott such movies. We have successfully done it in kerala. Where is Shakeela now. We forced the most popular star in kerala, Mohanlal, to stop acting in scenes by simply boycotting his films. His movies continuesly failed because women simply refused to go for them(2001 2002 years).
Wow! Tat's amazing to know! So does tat mean even porno/blue films r no longer made in Kerala (most of which I believe Shakeela acted in)??
I agree, if Tam. ppl. r as concerned abt culture as they demonstrated w/ Kushboo, they shudn't hesitate from taking such steps to prove it!

Scale

23rd November 2005, 11:31 AM

Lambretta,

FYAI - For your "Additional" Info (being a Vishak,AP)

Who in this hub dont know you, if they were a regular visitor of MT/TF K-Contro/IF threads?. Keep up the good work brother! :clap:

Yr amitabh avatar rocks everytime. I wish ARR composes 1 film for him in near future.

Sandeep

23rd November 2005, 12:23 PM

Wow! Tat's amazing to know! So does tat mean even porno/blue films r no longer made in Kerala (most of which I believe Shakeela acted in)??
I agree, if Tam. ppl. r as concerned abt culture as they demonstrated w/ Kushboo, they shudn't hesitate from taking such steps to prove it!

Adult movies are still made and shown but in a very limited manner. Unlike in the shakeela time.

But then the movies we are talking about are "family" movies not adult once. If movies are advertised as family movie then they need to confure to that otherwise fail. In one Lal movie (family) the only vulgar aspect was he makes double meaning verbal comment to the heroine (He uses the english word 'gap' is suggestive manner). Thats it in a week there was no family audience for the family movie and rest is history.

Why even consider the movie tamil movie 'Boys'. I read somewhere the movie was rejected by families because of the double meaning dialogs and message it gives. The personnaly felt the movie was well directed though the message it gave was utterly foolish and impractical.

Lambretta

23rd November 2005, 01:56 PM

Lambretta,
FYAI - For your "Additional" Info (being a Vishak,AP)
Ohh.....tks! :D Looks like I need an update on my abbrev. vocabulary.....

Who in this hub dont know you, if they were a regular visitor of MT/TF K-Contro/IF threads?. Keep up the good work brother! :clap:
Tks again! :D I'm touched! jus wondered if u knew me by my previous ID as I don't rem. interacting w/ my previous ID :)........

Yr amitabh avatar rocks everytime.
Tks one more time! :lol: Ur not the only person to say tat too....! Glad I chose him as my avtaar! 8-)

Lambretta

23rd November 2005, 02:01 PM

Adult movies are still made and shown but in a very limited manner. Unlike in the shakeela time.
So r they like, legal in Kerala??

But then the movies we are talking about are "family" movies not adult once.
Yes I know......was jus curious when u mentioned Shakeela.......thot for a moment tat they took a stand against adult movies too........

Why even consider the movie tamil movie 'Boys'. I read somewhere the movie was rejected by families because of the double meaning dialogs and message it gives. The personnaly felt the movie was well directed though the message it gave was utterly foolish and impractical.
Yes, very true.......a very farcical story of rags to riches!
Even in the direction part, sum of the scenes esp. in the 1st song were done too much in detail when there was no need (or use), even if such things do happen in Madras in reality.......!

a.ratchasi

23rd November 2005, 02:39 PM

Why doesnt anyone from TNT do anything to stop these scenes. [b]Why doesnt the general public boycott such movies.

Well, Sandeep, such lewdness has always been present in the mainstream movies so much so we have inadvertently accepted it as another one of those made for cinema only scenes.

Now, however, this has reached a level where very scenes that we chose to ignore then has slowly grown into a monster that threatens the very audience who in a way fed it.

The deeds of the past has come back to haunt us all!

Thus, boycotting may not be the way.
Though, I really want to be proven otherwise.

The best bet is to join the current call to ban onscreen smoking to cover these too .

Sandeep

23rd November 2005, 03:41 PM

Adult movies are still made and shown but in a very limited manner. Unlike in the shakeela time.
So r they like, legal in Kerala??

They are legal through out India. Please note these are not blue films which are illegal. These are just movies with main theme related to sex. As far as amount of exposing is conserned these movies (including Shakeela movies) are far behind Bollywood or Tollywood movies.

Yes I know......was jus curious when u mentioned Shakeela.......thot for a moment tat they took a stand against adult movies too........

Come on, these movies are not scene by families and are extreamely low budget. These audience is 90% perverted middle aged men and 10% curious teenagers

Anyway not a very nice topic to discuss. So lets leave it at this.

Sandeep

23rd November 2005, 03:54 PM

A.R.

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."

I dont remember the exact words but ment Keep all windows open and let air come from around the world. But you need to decide what to accept and what to reject.

You must be knowing whose quotes are these

a.ratchasi

23rd November 2005, 04:12 PM

A.R.

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."

Mahatma Gandhi

Sad isn't it, this state of the current times?!
:cry: :cry:

Lambretta

23rd November 2005, 05:46 PM

Please note these are not blue films which are illegal. These are just movies with main theme related to sex.
Ok......thot they were one & the same! Hence my qsn......:)
Neways, I still think its ironic tat while such movies r legal in India we've hurled stones at Western movies/ channels for vulgarity! :evil:

As far as amount of exposing is conserned these movies (including Shakeela movies) are far behind Bollywood or Tollywood movies.
:lol: This clearly shows the standards our 'normal' movies hav come down to!

Anyway not a very nice topic to discuss. So lets leave it at this.
Ok......understood! :)

Lambretta

23rd November 2005, 05:48 PM

Sad isn't it, this state of the current times?!
:cry: :cry:
Ur not the only one who feels so........!
Altho I do appreciate ur genuine concern for the state of the current times in India despite being from Malaysia! :)

ssanjinika

23rd November 2005, 06:59 PM

Hey Guys..its morning again and am back at work(meaning im backto hubbing :)).
I was having this conversation about this director who is a close relative of one of our friends.He recently released a movie which had a totally different story (meaning the story was not a love story nor a revenge story).In the movie there was an unwanted song were a half dressed woman dances in a suggestive manner.When asked why would he even have such a song when there was no logical reason todo so he replied that producers wouldnt touch the movie if there was no such song and he being a starting director couldnt afford to fund the movie himself.Well..things may improve if women started boycotting lewd movies but dont know if its feasable in TN..

Lambretta

23rd November 2005, 07:06 PM

I know it wudn't sound right to say this here but after reading this I feel those ******* producers shud be asked to bring their wives/sisters/daughters & make them dance in such songs & they mus be made to watch it all!!!! :evil: :hammer:

Appo thaan avangaluk-u buddhi varum (hopefully)!

a.ratchasi

24th November 2005, 06:24 AM

Altho I do appreciate ur genuine concern for the state of the current times in India despite being from Malaysia! :)

What if I tell you that it is no different here in Malaysia?

NOV

24th November 2005, 09:51 AM

test

Lambretta

24th November 2005, 10:02 AM

a.ratchasi

24th November 2005, 11:20 AM

What if I tell you that it is no different here in Malaysia?
Noo.....I meant, even tho ur not from India/not living in India, ur showing so much concern over wats happening here in the present scenario.......:D

haha, I got it the first time, dear Lambretta (Do you really want us all to type your id in full?:wink:). When it comes to entertainment such as mainstream movies, we all are affected by it. These are afterall our movies.

Why? Because the movies, to an extent, are part of our heritage irregardless of our location. :smile2:

Lambretta

24th November 2005, 11:50 AM

haha, I got it the first time, dear Lambretta (Do you really want us all to type your id in full?:wink:). When it comes to entertainment such as mainstream movies, we all are affected by it. These are afterall our movies.
Why? Because the movies, to an extent, are part of our heritage irregardless of our location. :smile2:
Tat makes sense.....:)
Um....u cud call me Lamby..... :wink:
Much better than being called a lamb! :shock: :roll:

pavalamani pragasam

25th November 2005, 02:42 PM

[tscii:bb3074acfd]From today’s “The Times of India”:

Aspirations of the Indian woman have changed

…Kushboo must be relieved. But the people she had in a moment of dare spoken up for, women who did not set much store by their virginity and so quickly got rid of it before they tied the knot, must worry.

For the new Indian woman, life before marriage is not as straight or easy to explain as it was for her mother or grandmother. There was not much to do outside home, and, in any case, the world outside was not so alluring, not so beguiling in its promises as it is now. In the movies, Meena Kumari and Asha Parekh by and large wore saris and spoke in self-less rhetoric. They were pretty, coy, demure. Only the vamps, say Helen, Bindu, and, to a lesser extent, Padma Khanna, were empowered to drink, dance and seduce heroes.

The heroines now get to show their skin all they want-body is power-and in the end they don’t have to stop a stray bullet with their bust and so help the movie to a happy ending. Housewifery is not the only career option. Jump-cut to the call centre in your neighbourhood and you will know why. Money is the greatest liberator.

All is indeed flux. But one thing has remained constant- after a fashion. As recently as a decade ago, the average female sex ratio was 945 per 1000 men. It has dropped to 927 now. In Tamil Nadu, where Kushboo spoke the truth and shed tears of shame afterward, the female ratio is above national average, but still not quite healthy; 974. Clearly women in short supply. They are actually in a position to hike their price and call the shots. And one way or the other, that’s happening. The Indian woman, at least her urban counterpart, is getting a face.

You can see the change in advertisements, media, corporate offices, finance sector, hospitality industry and movies. At home as well. Almost all of it is happening with an assertive, even aggressive, vengeance.

Virginity, or the lack of it, then, is only one of the things that the Educated Indian Male may find missing in action. The morning tea, more movingly, is another..The last few years though have taken their toll. The average marriage age for women has gone up from18-22 to 25-27.

Equally interestingly, perhaps, matrimonial ads themselves have undergone a paradigmatic medium change. In the last three years or so, matrimonial ads have been dropping from the print medium to the advantage of Net-based online wedding sites. A good number of the brides on show here have a foreign academic background. It’s hard to accept that after spending around five years in Australia or America, the prospective bride will be the proverbial milk-serving virgin.

Memphis-bred or Mumbai born, the virgin bride is no longer the Indian male’s birthright. As the pro-Kushboo coverage of the controversy showed, the media is all for the new reality. The upwardly mobile, unisex urban reality. But the trouble is, as a class or income analysis of DPI or PKM will show, there is another India, rurally-rooted in mores and of uncertain material means; an India unable to articulate its speech and identity in a massively expropriated media-structure. This is the India of the Silent Majority.

(THE LAST TWO SENTENCES NEED TO BE UNDERLINED IN MY OPINION)
[/tscii:bb3074acfd]

Lambretta

25th November 2005, 06:03 PM

Informative but at the same time depressing! :( Esp. the 2nd & 3rd paras........*sigh*!!
Btw, pardon my ignorance but wat exactly is DPI or PKM?? I assume they hav sumthing to do w/ population?

pavalamani pragasam

25th November 2005, 08:59 PM

Sailing in the same boat of ignorance!

pavalamani pragasam

26th November 2005, 10:37 AM

[tscii:e533fe0365]From today’s “The Times of India”:

Why are today’s teenagers on a violence trip?

Experts, from psychiatrists to college counselors, say that teenage violence has been increasing over the years. Although brutal youth crimes have occurred before, they must now be seen in the context of “rampant smaller psychopathic behaviour”, says psychiatrist Harish Shetty.

Psychiatrist Rajesh Parekh cites a ‘Time’ magazine article which compared the top ten problems in American schools today to ten years ago, and found only truancy was common. “But ten years ago, truancy was Number 1 on the list, and now it isNo 10. It had been replaced by violence, pregnancy and drugs,” he says. “We can’t, of course, say it would be the same here, but certainly, in my time, bunking class was pretty much the worst you could do.”

While adolescence has always been a potentially explosive cocktail of hormones, uncertain identities and peer pressure, a constellation of factors from media exposure to the breakdown of the family is increasing the frequency and intensity of teenage violence today, say experts. “On the one hand, pressures have increased, on the other, there is a loss of ability to cope with anger and stress,” says Nilima Mehta, chairperson of the Child Welfare Committee.

Mehta feels that the growth of a consumerist, media-driven society has much to do with this phenomenon. “People are becoming used to instant gratification of impulses. Humans are now defined by what they have, not by what they are.” Agrees Anuradha Chavan, head of the Parent Teachers Association United Forum, “Blame the influence of the media and peer pressure which makes material goods and branded products all-important.”

It doesn’t help that current youth icons are largely film stars with fabulous lifestyles.

But psychiatrist Rajesh Parekh also sees some physiological factors at work. He notes that children are growing up much faster physically than they used to –girls attain puberty earlier, boys are taller than their dads were at the same age- a hormonal phenomenon that is sometimes attributed to changed diets and poor environment. “Physical growth is accelerated while emotional growth is not as fast, so physically many teens are like adults yet emotionally still children,” he says.

But poor parenting has also a role to play. The joint family is long gone, and this is increasingly the age of latchkey kids, whose parents often make up for their inability to spend time with their kids by spending money on them.
A survey done by the Parents Teachers Association last year showed that only 30-40% of the respondents actually kept track of their children’s movements.
Parenting is far more challenging today than it ever has been,” says Mehta, adding that there have been many cases where children have even run away on being denied something.
[/tscii:e533fe0365]

1st December 2005, 04:53 AM

Very interesting article, ma'am!

Agreed ...my cousins children are taller and bigger in size that my cousins were at their age!

And, some parents I know do spoil the kids as mentioned in the para....

[tscii:fdef14428c]From today’s “The Times of India”:

But psychiatrist Rajesh Parekh also sees some physiological factors at work. He notes that children are growing up much faster physically than they used to –girls attain puberty earlier, boys are taller than their dads were at the same age- a hormonal phenomenon that is sometimes attributed to changed diets and poor environment. “Physical growth is accelerated while emotional growth is not as fast, so physically many teens are like adults yet emotionally still children,” he says.

But poor parenting has also a role to play. The joint family is long gone, and this is increasingly the age of latchkey kids, whose parents often make up for their inability to spend time with their kids by spending money on them.

A survey done by the Parents Teachers Association last year showed that only 30-40% of the respondents actually kept track of their children’s movements.
Parenting is far more challenging today than it ever has been,” says Mehta, adding that there have been many cases where children have even run away on being denied something.
[/tscii:fdef14428c]

Sandeep

16th December 2005, 09:39 AM

[tscii:5a2fbc00fa]Autobiography of a Sex Worker

Her long, wavy, black hair tied loosely in a knot, 50-year-old Nalini Jameela looks like any other housewife.

But this attractive, largely uneducated mother of two is a best-selling author and prostitute whose outspoken views of sex work as a career choice have stirred a controversy.

Her Oru Lyngikathozhilaliyude Athmakatha (Autobiography of a Sex Worker), has angered both feminists, who say it glorifies sex work, and conservatives, who think prostitutes should keep quiet.

"I have written this book for other sex workers. I wanted to talk about it to remove the stigma," Jameela said

"People think we are bad because we have sex for money. Nobody understands our grief."

Jameela was forced into prostitution 25 years ago when her first husband died, leaving her with a child to support.

Sex work paid more than she was earning as a factory worker. She charges her clients between Rs 500-1,000 per visit. Her first customer was a policeman.

When she came out of the room the next morning, she was beaten up by police on orders of another policeman she had turned down.

"I felt humiliated, but I had no option but to continue." Jameela estimates she has had sex with more than 1,000 men since then — she took some time off after her later marriages — and feels her work is an important social service.

"If there is no sex work, it would lead to a situation comparable to a pressure cooker with its safety valve locked on. The truth is that sex workers are doing a great service," she says in her book in Malayalam.[/tscii:5a2fbc00fa]

pavalamani pragasam

16th December 2005, 12:40 PM

:roll: :oops: :cry:

ssanjinika

16th December 2005, 07:08 PM

Sandeep : You left out these lines which I found the most bugging !

"It is not just my daughters. I will tell other women also about the hardships of sex work and then if they want to get into it, I won't stop them," Jameela says.

For her part, Jameela intends to continue with sex work as long as she stays healthy, saying she has had more freedom as a sex worker than she has ever had as a wife.

"Looking back, I find life as a sex worker more enjoyable. As a wife one has to listen, to always be dominated by someone," Jameela said.

"I like being a sex worker. Some become lawyers, doctors. It was my choice to become to a sex worker."

Its not a career choice .Will they be offering studies next :roll:

Incase any of you wantto read the full article..
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20051215/od_nm/india_sex_dc;_ylt=AolCNrp4m_FRJy1tfC0b4RXtiBIF;_yl u=X3oDMTA5aHJvMDdwBHNlYwN5bmNhdA--

pavalamani pragasam

16th December 2005, 10:05 PM

Dangerously misleading! Disgracefully awesome!

Shakthiprabha.

16th December 2005, 10:41 PM

My post MAY NOT be appreciated by many. But just wanna give my 2 cents.

I always feel sex workers need to be respected. They do it as their profession. I remember reading (and also acknowledging it) somehwhere that if not for sex workers, RAPE, SEXUAL ADVANCES, SEXUAL HARASSMENTS etc would increase in multitude.

Like in many countries, India has legalised this profession. We need not glorify them, then again I find its not right on our part to PUT THEM DOWN. Its their career.

Sex is urged everywhere in india via media. We, who cant question those repulsive dance moveents, close-to-nude clothings, suggestive dialogues, are ready enough to question or look down upon sex workers.

This woman in her autobiography, I agree, is shockingly open. Her statement about encouraging sex-work as a career to ANY WOMAN, sounds very abhorrent. yes.

When the question of accepting sex-workers with ease amognst the society IS IN-ITSELF IS A QUESTION, such statements are not welcomed by many.

We encourage women being sold as sex symbols in many field around. Some Women in the name of fashion, do expose themselves unashamedly. Fashion shows and beauty shows are carried on and has become the talk of COMMON MAN.

This, I guess is one more step. When we keep mum about all those, we are helpless here too.

pavalamani pragasam

16th December 2005, 10:47 PM

Isn't dating a form of prostitution? With the entry of dating culture has not prostitution gained surreptious entry into our society?

dev

16th December 2005, 10:52 PM

SP, you wrote my thought!!!...
But I didn't know that it has been legalised in India...

Shakthiprabha.

16th December 2005, 11:02 PM

Dev,

They were fightin for it. As much as I know, I think it is legalised . (not sure on this part. someone can clarify)

PP maam,

Dating does not mean prostitution. Dating is just meeting of similar minds, and spending some memorable moments with them. Dating is mistaken by many youngsters and older gen ppl TO INVOLVE SEX.

One can have a date with DAD, MOM, FRIEND OR boy/girl friends(lovers). It need not necessarily result in sexual adavances.

A date is just PLEASNT time spent together.

ssanjinika

16th December 2005, 11:23 PM

SP:
In one thing I agree with you.A Sex worker also should be given equal respect in society.Afterall to them prostitution is work.
But what I cant accept is recognising prostitution as quality work.IMHO its demeaning to the feminine gender, to mankind itself as a whole.How can an act of nature existing soley as a display of affection/love and/or for the purpose of procreating be reduced to this?

Shakthiprabha.

16th December 2005, 11:30 PM

Ssajinika,

But what I cant accept is recognising prostitution as quality work. IMHO its demeaning to the feminine gender, to mankind itself as a whole

I hear there are male sex - workers too :shock:

.How can an act of nature existing soley as a display of affection/love and/or for the purpose of procreating be reduced to this?

sad. I agree wtih u 500 percent ON THIS. Sex which actually is a display on love and affection, ruthlessly, sold out. Sold out everywhere in different names. :cry:

Well, if everyone wants only love and affection then this wont happen ssajinika. What ppl want is LUST. Thats when they go to these places.

If the world is a perfect place, many things wont be here.

I do welcome legalising them, and respecting them SO THAT ATLEAST THEY GET EDUCATED ON SAFE SEX. Aids and other dangerous diseases would reduce .

pavalamani pragasam

17th December 2005, 08:54 AM

SP, my knowledge of present day 'dating' gathered from contemporary western novels gives me a fair insight into the lifestyles of western countries & what really "dating" is. The tragedy is our people are blindly aping the west in this also!

dev

17th December 2005, 10:12 AM

SP,
It's sanjinika's post U've answered to...not mine... :)

blahblah

17th December 2005, 12:57 PM

"Looking back, I find life as a sex worker more enjoyable. As a wife one has to listen, to always be dominated by someone," Jameela said.

"I like being a sex worker. Some become lawyers, doctors. It was my choice to become to a sex worker."

If a woman,specially a mother wants to be a sex slave,is proud about it and boasts that she is doing a great social service, the words in my vocabulary won't be enough to describe it.

It is evident that she chose to be here because this offers better money and comforts than the hardships of the factory work.And didn't she make more money from that nasty book by selling it to 10000 real idiots who enjoys third rate sex stories! :x

By the way Kerala appears to be a good market-500 to 1000 rupees to visit an ugly fifty year old whore! :banghead:

pavalamani pragasam

17th December 2005, 01:57 PM

Thanx, blahblah for understanding & revealing the true colours of an "enterprising" "personality"!

a.ratchasi

17th December 2005, 02:10 PM

If a woman,specially a mother wants to be a sex slave,is proud about it and boasts that she is doing a great social service, the words in my vocabulary won't be enough to describe it.

You have simply highlighted my sentiments, blahblah! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Legalising prostitution will not eliminate the social issues highlighted here.

If at all the woman highlighted the trials and tribunals in her life, my reaction would have been totally different.

Instead, here's a woman who not only takes pride in selling herself, but also goes to the extent of preaching it as a career choice for the young. Taking precautions is one thing, glamorising and encouraging it is another!

Shakthiprabha.

17th December 2005, 05:51 PM

sorry dev. I changed my messege :smile:

Roshan

17th December 2005, 07:51 PM

If a woman,specially a mother wants to be a sex slave,is proud about it and boasts that she is doing a great social service, the words in my vocabulary won't be enough to describe it.

It is evident that she chose to be here because this offers better money and comforts than the hardships of the factory work.And didn't she make more money from that nasty book by selling it to 10000 real idiots who enjoys third rate sex stories! :x

By the way Kerala appears to be a good market-500 to 1000 rupees to visit an ugly fifty year old whore! :banghead:

:thumbsup:

swathy

17th December 2005, 08:18 PM

Murder of call centre worker shocks Bangalore

BANGALORE: Being the largest BPO hub in the world, over 200 domestic, multinational, captive and pure-play companies in Bangalore employ two lakh call centre executives, of which women account for 50%.

Probably, this could be the only industry in the country that believes in a fair gender formula of 50:50.

This large army of young things, in the age bracket of 19 to 26, has so far been a happy and carefree lot.

The rape and murder of a 24-year-old city woman BPO worker has actually nicked off the "security feel" that existed among the agents community, especially among women employees and their parents.

24 year old Pratibha was picked up by the car driver Shivakumar from her house in South Bangalore around 0200 hrs on December 13 under the pretext of ferrying her to office. But he had driven her to an isolated spot near Anjanapura, raped and murdered her. He later dumped her body in a ditch and fled the scene. Prathiba was recently married to Pavan, also working for a BPO firm, a year ago.

Shakthiprabha.

17th December 2005, 10:13 PM

Swathy,

I posted the link in 'picked from papers' thread.

I am not able to get over the shock and sadness. All along I was thinkign callcentre job is a safe one :cry:

I reminded of famous deduction that, 'Freedom is considered achieved only when a woman goes out alone at 12 midnight wearing all jewellery...and yet safely reach her destination'(Was it bharathiyar?!)

dev

17th December 2005, 10:53 PM

SP,

I guess it was Gandhiji who said that...

Shakthiprabha.

17th December 2005, 11:25 PM

I stand corrected dev. (Gandhiji)

Looks like no country would have that kinda freedom after all. :cry:

Anoushka

17th December 2005, 11:54 PM

Shakti: I should say it used to be safe in Bombay. I've had a few experiences of travelling alone in the night in Bombay so has my mother... I remember when my dad was in hospital and we used to do rounds.... one of us would stay till 11:00 or 11:30 in the night and take a bus/taxi home.... we've never had a problem coming back home alone at that time of the night!

Even a couple of years ago, I landed in Bombay in the middle of the night, didn't have a problem taking a taxi from the Internation airport to Gateway at that time of the night.. and I've done that a few times before as well!

I am not sure if it still the same there....I've never felt that safe in Madras at all though....

dev

17th December 2005, 11:57 PM

Hmmm... I feel Singapore is more safer... We sometimes used to go out for mid-night walks & I've seen girls on the road even at such odd hours... & I've always seen this young lady, who lives in the same condo where we live... She goes for jogging almost everyday at around 11.30PM!!!!!!...She'll be back after a long jog(an hr or so) in the neighbourhood... though I've not tried any such things myself, I've always felt it safer ever since I landed here... I lived in B'lore previously & never have I had the guts to keep the door open,when I'm alone at home, even during day time!!!...

Shakthiprabha.

18th December 2005, 11:42 AM

I know what u are talkin about anou and dev.

Few months back, I wanted to take a citi-taxi to my aunt's house which is quite far off(1.5 hours drive from my place and in a relatively lonely area too)

I was under the idea of starting at around 9pm(due to some work) so that I reach by 10.30 and sleep over there. My aunt was SO STUBBORN and refused rightaway, commanding me TO START by 6.30 so that I dont travel alone after 8 pm (esp near her area)

Even when I argued about cititaxi drivers can be tracked down or that they are decent or that they maintain records, above all I have a small child too to accompany me.....

My aunt refused to give way and I had to travel early to reach there by 8. pm.

Sometimes we feel, world is not a dangerous a place anymore, but alas we are proved wrong. Elders are right after all MANY A TIMES.

dev

18th December 2005, 01:13 PM

Very true, SP... When we r living with good ppl all around us, we feel the whole world is good... But such incidents keep reminding us that it's still not as good as we think it is... When we were in B'lore we had an rick driver who was almost like one among our family... Such a friendly guy with whom I've never hesitated to travel any time of the day... Anytime, anywhere you'll see ppl with diff faces & we r the ones who need to be vigilant always... sad truth!!!...

swathy

18th December 2005, 02:50 PM

[tscii:351b2fd9a9]I believe this is the first incident in Bangalore.

For the past 1.5 years i have traveled several times in the late night so as my colleagues.. We have never faced any problem.

Just one day before the incident I traveled in a call taxi by 11.30 p.m. Now I am getting more phone calls from my friends and relatives. All advise.

This has shaken the entire city.It’s a very big shock for software and BPO people.
[/tscii:351b2fd9a9]

Sandeep

19th December 2005, 09:16 AM

The incident here is more appaling since the Vehicle was provided by the company and not some City Taxi. The driver and the vehicle are registered with the Company in question. The regular driver was not able to pick the lady and hence was replaced by this guy. If you are not safe in the vehicle provided to you by your company then what is safe.Please remember this is not some small time company but one of the biggest MNC's.

//I believe this is the first incident in Bangalore. //

No swathy this is not the first incident. Thought the combination of rape and murder is for the first time. Last year an Intel employee was killed by hitting on his head. People are regularly mugged, beaten for petty cash. Ther has been incidents of forced withdrawals from ATM stations. So much so that City commisioner had requested employees to hide thier ID Tags while out of your office and not to travel alone in night (after 7).

You and your colleagues are lucky but dont try it hard. There is much less to loose in being safe.

swathy

19th December 2005, 10:14 AM

You and your colleagues are lucky but dont try it hard. There is much less to loose in being safe.

Almost all of us are in great shock. Even this Friday I was supposed to stay back .I went to office on Saturday instead of staying back on friday. Today we should discuss with our manager in Hyderabad regarding this.

Sanguine Sridhar

20th December 2005, 08:49 PM

[tscii:1ad20a0b70]FYI...

With the incidents happening around us and the crime that is been reported we can SAFELY say that each day is getting worse in our good old garden city. Under this situation we will always have a question in our conscious mind which asks us AM I SAFE ? No one can give you an accurate answer to this .... crime is like an accident which we can meet up with at anytime.The best way not to meet with it is to follow the doctors proverb "PRECAUTION IS BETTER THAN CURE" . Crime happens only if there is opportunity given to it or when there is chance for it.

A few tips that can definitely help everyone,

1) Avoid speaking to people whom you don't know (au to rickshaw driver, taxi drivers ....)

2) Avoid late night parties.

3) Do not mix drinking with your wonderful ability to drive.

4) Avoid taking ladies to the late night parties, if you cannot avoid then try going in groups.

7) Avoid taking short cuts when going out in the nights.

8) Avoid restaurant/dhabas in the outskirts of the city as these are places where anti social elements usually hang out.

9) Report incidents to the police if you feel it is the correct information that you are providing to them.

10) Make sure you inform any one before you visit them late at night and also specify time frames.

11) Avoid arguing with auto rickshaw drivers and also when you find people who are fighting on roads(it could be a trap)

12) Avoid having personal and friendly conversation with taxi d rivers, auto rickshaw drivers , Cab drivers (Specially women)

13) If the driver behaves suspiciously/ rudely try to divert the vehicle to some public place and then immediately get off. Inform the transport department and your manager.

14) Women make sure that you are carrying something to protect yourselves such as a bottle of pepper spray and also make sure that you are wearing a jacket or a shawl if you are not escorted by a man whom you know.

Below attached are the list of phone numbers of police stations of your respective areas in Bangalore. Please keep them handy so that it will be of some use to you some day... As the famous Theory of Charles Darwin goes " Survival of the fittest" . When there is no mercy from the assailant why then should be the sa me from you.

Contact Numbers of ACP's (EAST DIVISION)

NAME OF SUB-DIVISION & PHONE NO
OFFICE

A.C.P.ULSOOR,
22942143

P.I.ULSOOR,
22942540

P.I.INDIRANAGAR,
22942541

P.I.H.A.L,
22942542

P.I.BYAPPANAHALLY,
22942545

P.I.MAHADEVAPURA,
22942546

P.I.J.B.NAGAR,
22942543

P.I.AI RPORT,
22942544

A.C.P.FRAZER TOWN,
22942145

P.I.FRAZER TOWN,
22942548

P.I.BHARATHINAGAR,
22942547

P.I.D.J.HALLY,
22942550

P.I.COMMERCIAL STREET,
22942549

P.I.SHIVAJINAGAR,
22942597

P.I.BOWRING HOSPITAL,
22942551

A.C.P.K.R.PURAM,
22942147

P.I.K.R.PURAM,
22942553

P.I.BANASAWADI,
22942552

P.I.K.G.HALLY,
22942556

P.I.R.M.NAGAR,
22942554

P.I.HENNUR,
22942557

Contact Numbers of ACP's South Division

NAME OF SUB-DIV & PHONE NO
OFFICE

A.C.P.CHAMARAJPET,
22942165

P.I.CHAMARAJPET,
22942575

P.I.CENTRAL,
22942574

P.I.VICTORIA HOSPITAL,
22942560

P.I.SHANKARAPURAM,
22942558

P.I.N.T.PET,
22942559

P.I.HANUMANHANAGAR,
22942072

P.I.GIRINAGAR,
22942577

P.I.K.G.NAGAR,
22942578

A.C.P.JAYANAGAR,
22942161

P.I.JAYANAGAR,
22942562

P.I.BASAVANAGUDI,
22942057

P.I.BANASHANKARI,
22942564

P.I.J.P.NAGAR,
22942563

P.I.SUBRAMANYAPURA,
22942565

K.S.LAYOUT,
22942567

A.C.P. ADUGODI,
22942163

P.I.MADIVA LA,
22942568

P.I.MICO LAYOUT,
22942569

P.I.ADUGODI,
22942573

P.I.KORAMANGALA,
22942570

P.I.THILAKNAGAR,
22942571

P.I.SIDDAPURA, B.
22942572

Contact Numbers of ACP’s WEST DIVISION

NAME OF SUB-DIVISION & PHONE NO
OFFICE
RES

A.C.P.CHICKPET,
22942149
22942150

P.I.CHICKPET,
22942502
22942702

P.I.UPPARPET,
22942503
-

P.I.CITY MARKET,
22942506
22942705

P.I.KALASIPALYA,
22942504
22942704

A.C.P. KENGERI GATE,
22942151
22942152

P.I.COTTONPET,
22942508
22942707

P.I.KENGERI,
22942510
22942904

P.I.BYATARAYANAPURA,
22942507
22942708

P.I.J.J.NAGARA,
22942509
22943340

P.I.JNANABHARATHI,
22942513
22942712

P.I.CHANDRALAYOUT,
22942512
22942894

A.C.P.VIJAYANAGARA,
22942153
22942154

P.I.VIJAYANAGAR,
22942514
22942713

P.I.MAGADIROAD,
22942515
22942714

P.I.BASAVESHWARANAGARA,
22942516
22942715

P.I.KAMAKSHIPALYA,
22942517
22942716

P.I.K.P.AGRAHARA,
22942518
22942717

Contact Numbers of ACP’s NORTH DIVISION

NAME OF SUB-DIVISION & PHONE NO
OFFICE

A.C.P YESHWANTHAPURA,
22942157

P.I.YESHWANTHAPURA,
22942526

P.I.JALAHALLI,
22942527

P.I.R.M.C.YARD,
22942531

P.I.PEENYA,
22942532

P.I.GANGAMMANAGUDI,
22942530

P.I.SOLADEVANAHALLI,
22942529

A.C.P.MALLESWARAM,
22942155

P.I.SRIRAMPURAM,
22942520

P.I.RAJAJINAGAR,
22942522

P.I.MAHALAKSHMI LAYOUT,
22942523

P.I.SUBRAMANYANAGAR,
22942524

P.I.RAJAGOPALANAGARA,
22942525

A.C.P.J.C.NAGARA,
22942159

P.I.HEBBALA,
22942535

P.I.R.T.NAGARA,
22942538

P.I.YELAHANKA NEW TOWN,
22942637

P.I.SANJAYNAGARA,
22942533

P.I.VIDYARANYAPURA,
22942528

Contact Numbers of ACP's (Central Division)

NAME OF SUB-DIV & PHONE NO
OFFICE

A.C.P.ULSOOR GATE,
22942171

P.I.ULSOOR GATE,
22942579

P.I.ASHOKANAGAR,
22942580

P.I.WILSON GARDEN,
22942581

P.I.S.R.NAGAR,
22942582

P.I.S.J.PARK,
22942583

P.I.VIVEKNAGAR,
22942584

A.C.P.SESHADRIPURAM,
22942169

P.I.SESHADRIPURAM,
22942586

P.I.HIGH GROUNDS,
22942587

P.I.VYALIKAVAL,
22942588

P.I.SADASHIVANAGAR,
22942589

A.C.P.VIDHANA SOUDHA,
22942167

P.I.VIDHANA SOUDHA,
22942590

P.I.CUBBON PARK,
22942951

WOMEN HELPLINE

VANITHA SAHAYAVANI (VSV) -- CALL 1019

SEND IT TO YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY MEMBERS.

[/tscii:1ad20a0b70]

ramraghav

21st December 2005, 07:56 AM

[tscii:cbadb930bf]I don't know if this is yet a matter of shame, but it certainly should be a matter of concern.

Here’s what inspired this write-up:

http://www.dawn.com/weekly/mazdak/20051203.htm

http://www.rediff.com/news/2005/dec/16rajeev.htm

http://www.expressindia.com/fullstory.php?newsid=60153

My attention has of late been caught by articles and press reports regarding the marriage of Hindu women to Muslim men. In case you missed the point, Indian Islamic civil law stipulates that Muslims can only marry Muslims, with the consequence that the said Hindu women need per-force to convert to Islam as a prerequisite to experience the bliss (or is abyss?) of married life. Concepts of pseudo-egalitarianism http://forumhub.mayyam.com/hub/viewtopic.php?t=5411&highlight= and pseudo-secularism, propagated by the English media, have inured us to such events and the (religious) majority of the populace of this nation quietly goes about its mundane tasks without taking cognizance of the fact it has just lost an entity invaluable to the propagation and perpetuation of its own existence. Those who do take due cognizance are immediately labeled as being “communal”, and no effort is spared to tarnish and rubbish their reputation (which, in the first place, never existed in eyes of the “secular”).

While it is not my intention to advocate the proscription, or even restriction, of the fundamental right to marriage off free will, it pains me to see the misrepresentation and misuse of this clause of the Indian Constitution, like many other such clauses, to serve the narrow interests of a particular community, and those that feed off it, at the detriment of others. The point I wish to make is that while “grown” humans have every right to decide who they wish to live with, in many such (i.e. these cross-religious) cases these choices are less often based on informed judgment than on coercion, intimidation or a combination thereof.

It is also important to realize that these cases of Hindu-Muslim lovey-dovey union almost always involve a Hindu woman and a Muslim man (yes, there may be genuine exceptions, but I am only addressing the general trend here). Of course, given that she risks real, immediate and debilitating physical harm not only to self, but also to those associated with her, it is easy to understand that the Muslim women would be rather less inclined to participate in adventures of elopement with a Hindu man. While the flight of Hindu women (and, mind you, this is certainly a flight, perhaps yet only a turbo-prop, but still a flight), may be a marker of the social emancipation achieved by these (Hindu) women, such incidents must serve to raise the hackles of those more initiated into concepts of social equality and true egalitarianism and secularism.

The articles by Rajeev Srinivasan and Irfan Husain (listed above), seem to strongly indicate that the cases they analyzed almost certainly involve a high degree of coercion and intimidation, while the episode in Gujarat (also listed above) seems to involve either the call of true love, or a fair amount of brainwashing or a bit of both. I am not an investigative reporter and as such do not possess access to information to which you are not privy, and hence am unable to ascertain for sure the true causal relationship behind each of the above incidents. However, allowing for the possibility that a majority of the cases involving the flight of the maidens are indeed due to the call of love, I wish, and seek your inputs, to ascertain the reasons of why such intelligent species tend to end up making such foolish life-changing decisions (and oh, if willful entry into a restrictive, repressive and regressive patriarchal society isn’t foolish, then pray do tell me what is).

With the limited exposure I have had to this alternative world (yeah, never been there, never done that), I now embark on a reason-finding mission to penetrate the mind of the Hindu woman and ascertain why, pray why, would she even be remotely interested in associating herself with a Muslim man. What follows are a few thoughts currently running through my Hippocampus.

1. The shortcomings of the Hindu religion: Flexible and convenient is a catch-all phrase that sort of sums up a comparison of Hinduism against Islam and Christianity. Most people like it, perhaps some do not. Or perhaps some do not realize the benefits (and the importance) of these traits. Yes, for “lower caste” people, it is easy to get disillusioned even otherwise with this religion: a definitive stain that needs to be bleach-washed.
2. Misinformation: Young people are impressionable and young Hindu females are no exception. It should not be too hard for the initiated to put up and maintain pretenses if the juice is worth the squeeze.
3. The influence of Bollywood: While the negative social influences of Bollywood would fill an encyclopedia, I shall limit myself to the glamorization of the Muslim male brought about by the perpetual insistence on the casting of leading men (not ladies, mind you) with surnames ranging from all types of Khans to all types of Shahs. Sure, there exist non-Khans and non-Shahs too, but honestly
a. What is the proportion of their numbers?
b. How many of them are not supported by surnames such as Bachan?
4. The lure of petro dollars: I am not aware how much of a problem this poses in the northern reaches of the country, but I am convinced that a vast majority of southern Muslim households are powered by the profits of OIC countries. Needless to say, Riyals and Dinars hold much more allure than the RBI-issued Rupee.
5. Physical appearance of the Muslim male: I have had a few Muslim (boy) friends in school and college, and a noticeable connecting cord between them was the singularly exceptional good looks that they were endowed with. However, if our women (yes, our, though not in a possessive but rather in an associative sense), were to fall for appearances, rather than substance, I must say that our Hindu women would fall drastically from the scales of high esteem I have held them in.
6. Lack of physical appeal of the Hindu male: Being a Hindu male myself, I am unable (and unwilling) to comment on this. Would a few women be so generous as to help out here?
7. Mental cockiness of the Hindu male: Eh?? Never would have thought so.
8. True love: Yeah, right.
9. Others: You tell me.

As I started out saying, I wish to learn what could possibly drive these unfortunate creatures into making the disastrous decisions they seem to be making. Every comment is welcome.

Thanks
Ram
[/tscii:cbadb930bf]

Lambretta

21st December 2005, 09:33 AM

Came across this thread y'day but was too tired from my trip to post nething......:)

If a woman,specially a mother wants to be a sex slave,is proud about it and boasts that she is doing a great social service, the words in my vocabulary won't be enough to describe it.
Exactly! When I first started reading the article posted by Sandeep, abt how this woman's first customer was, of all the persons, a policeman ( :hammer: ), I felt pity.......until the ending where I came across these statements from her glorifying her trade & encouraging more women to join this "service"! :evil: :hammer:
Incidentally, I wonder now wat those who call themselves as womens' libbers (ie, the ones who, aided by the media, publicly go on bitching abt how women hav been "mistreated" & "deprived of freedom & dignity" by our "outdated" culture/traditions....no I don't mean Kushboo!) wud hav to say abt this type of "freedom" tat is being encouraged by this one "bold" woman here! 'wonder if they wud be proud to see an otherwise low-profile woman "opening up" (in her case, literally!) & bulldozing our "antiquated" social mores so boldly!! :hammer:

And didn't she make more money from that nasty book by selling it to 10000 real idiots who enjoys third rate sex stories! :x
Oh yea, if this book tat she wrote abt promoting her "business" disguised as a tragedy story of her life, ever manages to reach bookstalls in TN & never manages to stir a stronger-than-Kushboo controversy there (esp. from parties like PMK) , I'd request those of u living in TN to do us a favour & pelt those hypocrites w/ rotten eggs/watever u can find! :evil:

By the way Kerala appears to be a good market-500 to 1000 rupees to visit an ugly fifty year old whore! :banghead:
Looks like many men r turning into really desperate, lonely, broken-down souls! Sounds like a rather dangerously alarming trend tho!

Lambretta

21st December 2005, 09:43 AM

Legalising prostitution will not eliminate the social issues highlighted here.
Exactly! To be honest, I think the whole thing wud turn out to be a farce! They say it wud aim to control AIDS for one thing, but knowing the mentality of the lower-class men who r involved w/ such women, I doubt tats going to work out unlike in other countires like Singapore......plus one thing tat isn't realised by many who support legalising the trade in India & giving it a licence is, in our transparent law & order system, its very easy to get fake licences for things tat require them (how many ppl. don't u find w/ "pay & procure" driving licences!)........so IMHO it'd be even easier to coerce women into this trade as it'd be legal & a piece of cake to get a licence for it! Knowing our authorities, surely they wudn't bother to chek if the woman is willingly doing it or being coerced as long as she comes fwrd for a licence to practice this trade!

Lambretta

21st December 2005, 10:00 AM

I always feel sex workers need to be respected. They do it as their profession. I remember reading (and also acknowledging it) somehwhere that if not for sex workers, RAPE, SEXUAL ADVANCES, SEXUAL HARASSMENTS etc would increase in multitude.
Really Prabha?? I've heard tat too, but then, look at the present day scenario in India.....there has been increase in the flesh trade (now w/ many women going into it willingly altho out of circumstances) yet stats show tat a woman is being raped/harassed every hour in our country! And the harassment is no longer limited to young age or 'revealing' type western outfits!
And as u know, abt the brutal rape & murder of tat call-centre lady.......the fellow who'd done tat cud've gone to a sex-worker instead, jus for tat night atleast! So........? :? :(
But yes ur right in saying tat sex-workers shud not be despised, esp. when its more or less the fault of men who enjoy such animalistic instincts! :evil:

Sex is urged everywhere in india via media...........We encourage women being sold as sex symbols in many field around. Some Women in the name of fashion, do expose themselves unashamedly. Fashion shows and beauty shows are carried on and has become the talk of COMMON MAN.
Never mind those, wat abt blue films & the more common porn web sites tat r widely circulated in our country & even abroad?!! And in the latter, the irony is tat those who r involved in them r mostly college girls & even married women like housewives etc. who supposedly come from DECENT FAMILIES! Wat individuals like them do is nothing less than prostitution, they r selling their bodies (albeit virtually) for money secretly but appearing respectable on the outside, which is worse than openly being a wh*re! In such a scenario ur point tat sex-workers shudn't alone be condemned holds true.
But wat ppl. r trying to say is tat the way this sex-worker had glorified her trade & wudn't mind encouraging even her daughters into it is worth condemning by all means!

Sandeep

21st December 2005, 10:45 AM

how this woman's first customer was, of all the persons, a policeman ( ), I felt pity.......until the ending where I came across these statements from her glorifying her trade & encouraging more women to join this "service"!
Clearly shows the progression of her life. From a house wife dependent on her husband, loosing him, being forced to sell her body for money and bcoz of pressure, feeling guilty. Then slowly getting used to slowly becoming indifferent. Finally trying to find an existance/indentity or significance for herself.

Shakthiprabha.

21st December 2005, 11:55 AM

Lambretta,

Just a small paragraph, on my view OF ANY MORAL ISSUES would suffice here.

I basically believe SIN is something

which hurts others

physically, emotionally, psycologically.

REST ARE man made MORALS.

One has freedom to chose BETWEEN living with it or without it. ACCORDING TO HER, nothing is wrong. These do not constitute moral issues at all.

LAW can enforce CRIMINAL constraints but never MORAL constraints.

What you OR me, think on morals, NEED NOT BE her opinion(or anyone's in that matter).

Each has their way of living life. Intruding their(anybody's not necessarily sex-workers) private ethical thoughts, IS NOT pleasant according to me.

When she is NOT HURTING anybody, when her DAUGHTERS are NOT UNHAPPY with her talks, who are WE TO DISCUSS HER? BRAND HER AS BAD OR GOOD?

pavalamani pragasam

21st December 2005, 12:24 PM

:shock: :roll: :cry:

swathy

21st December 2005, 12:46 PM

Thanks Beck. :-)

I'll forward this to my friends

blahblah

21st December 2005, 04:21 PM

Lambretta,

Just a small paragraph, on my view OF ANY MORAL ISSUES would suffice here.

I basically believe SIN is something

which hurts others

physically, emotionally, psycologically.

Oh,yes!That's the point!

Hurting someone physically,emotionally,psychologically!

Will a man be hurt emotionally,psychologically, if his wife sleeps with someone else?

And will a woman be hurt if her husband or son sleeps with a prostitute emotionally,psychologically and ofcourse,financially?

If a prostitute is not hurting anyone in any of these ways what is wrong with a drug seller???

Just for your knowledge,I had a teenage friend who was lured into visiting a prostitute who was quite an 'experienced' professional.I was told that he came out of the room as a broken man and had to be treated for erectile dysfunction even after his marriage many years later,because of an insulting comment about his 'performance' by the 'lady'!Does it hurt emotionally and psychologically?? :roll:

What are STD's or sexually oriented deceases? Does prostitution hurt people physically then?

Crazy ideas about freedom makes people more narrow minded! :roll:

I have genuine compassion for victims of human trafficking which does not apply to women who will do anything to make more money! :x

Shakthiprabha.

21st December 2005, 05:02 PM

Oh,yes!That's the point!

Hurting someone physically,emotionally,psychologically!

Will a man be hurt emotionally,psychologically, if his wife sleeps with someone else?

He would. It is not RIGHT on any woman to go back on her commitment. She is ofcourse hurting him.

We are not talking about a woman, who cheated her husband and did sex-work as a job against his wish. THE said person had noone to cheat upon, when it was thrusted on her.

If a prostitute is not hurting anyone in any of these ways what is wrong with a drug seller???

U cant compare DRUGS and SEX. DRUGS ARE not consumed by all in the society. Sex is a natural instict which men and women resort to.

Sex is LEGAL. SEx improves overall mental physical and emotinal health of a man

Consuming DRUGS is not legal. DRUGS are detrimental for health.

I AM SURE U CAN UNDERSTAND THE BASIC DIFFERENCE.

And will a woman be hurt if her husband or son sleeps with a prostitute emotionally,psychologically and ofcourse,financially?

That in question, yes, SHE WOULD BE HURT, if he sleeps around with ANYBODY, not necessarily a sex-worker. SO WHY target SEX WORKERS HERE?

It is the ACT OF CHEATING ON WIFE which should be targeted, not the sex worker.

It is the MAN WHO APPROACHES HER. She does not go knocking every door.

Just for your knowledge,I had a teenage friend who was lured into visiting a prostitute who was quite an 'experienced' professional.I was told that he came out of the room as a broken man and had to be treated for erectile dysfunction even after his marriage many years later,because of an insulting comment about his 'performance' by the 'lady'!Does it hurt emotionally and psychologically?? :roll:

Such incidents, again TALK OF some individual for their insulting comments. It cant be GENERALISED AND ARGUED IN GENERAL ON BEHALF OF WHOLE SEX WORKERS.

Luring into wrong things DOES HAPPEN, whether or not, sex workers are present. there are UMPTEEN no of wrong things, ppl are lured into.

We can teach our children morals which we feel and insist is IMPORTANT FOR A HEALTHY MENTAL AND PHYSICAL being, but we CANT go around expecting them in the SOCIETY.

What are STD's or sexually oriented deceases? Does prostitution hurt people physically then?

U failed to notice, thats why I said, legalizing would ENSURE giving license or whatever ONLY TO safe sex-workers.

Crazy ideas about freedom makes people more narrow minded! :roll:

OPINIONS DIFFER. This has nothing to do with freedom of sex workers OR women's liberation.

It just stresses on LIVING LIFE as one want to. Its a RIGHT not FREEDOM.

I have genuine compassion for victims of human trafficking which does not apply to women who will do anything to make more money! :x

Do u have any issues on politicians or businessmen or even a normal woman or man, who do ANYTHING(take dowry, cheat, charge extra, kill, lure, insult, steal, bribe, evade tax, show wrong accounts), to make money?

are they BEIGN DISCUSSED IN OPEN in a public forum, with this many nasty insults thrown?

Any person as a thrid party TO THE situation, HAS NO right whatsoever to CONDEMN someone on their moral issues or behaviour.

Shakthiprabha.

21st December 2005, 05:44 PM

I assume I am hurting many ppl's personal feelings regarding ethical behaviour. I jsut voiced my opinion.

I know the battle which I fought is ONE AGAINST MANY.

I would like to call it an end and finish it off with TRUCE.

Its no use arguing on these matters time and again, when the discussion concerned hurt many ppl's personal feelings.

I DONT WISH TO DO THAT.

sorry from my behalf.

ON with the next topic please.

Lambretta

21st December 2005, 06:16 PM

Will a man be hurt emotionally,psychologically, if his wife sleeps with someone else?
And will a woman be hurt if her husband or son sleeps with a prostitute emotionally,psychologically and ofcourse,financially?
Good point blah! Incidentally, I'd been visiting the Andhranews.com forum for a while (until I realised wat a bunch of looneys most of the members were!) & there was this thread on consequences of extra-marital affairs.......however, the meaning of the thread was completely lost as several perverts (inc. our fellow ex-hubber Mandangi! :hammer: ) began to make statements glorifying it, sum of them even saying tat their wives were having affairs & they felt jealous tat they themselves were having none, tat not allowing ppl. to do such a thing is fundamentalism etc. etc........! :roll: :evil:
Truly despicable, A shame! :hammer:

Prabha, as for ur replies, well, I conclude tat to each their own.......so I guess its truce w/ u from my side too! :)

Shakthiprabha.

21st December 2005, 06:25 PM

aw.... lambretta though I AM TEMPTED TO TALK,

I rather SHUT UP.

Good for me and good for others too.

Lambretta

21st December 2005, 06:30 PM

aw.... lambretta though I AM TEMPTED TO TALK,

I rather SHUT UP.

Good for me and good for others too.
Problem w/ having an expressive personality I guess........? :wink: :D

Shakthiprabha.

21st December 2005, 06:35 PM

Roshan

21st December 2005, 06:39 PM

Else I land up with probs with ppl as they COMPLETELY misunderstand my views

It happens the other way around too !!! :wink:

blahblah,

Once again an excellent post !!! :thumbsup:

Shakthiprabha.

21st December 2005, 06:42 PM

Else I land up with probs with ppl as they COMPLETELY misunderstand my views

It happens the other way around too !!! :wink:

hmm roshan....
no denying on that. :smile:

ssanjinika

21st December 2005, 06:43 PM

there was this thread on consequences of extra-marital affairs.......however, the meaning of the thread was completely lost as several perverts (inc. our fellow ex-hubber Mandangi! :hammer: ) began to make statements glorifying it, sum of them even saying tat their wives were having affairs & they felt jealous tat they themselves were having none, tat not allowing ppl. to do such a thing is fundamentalism etc. etc........!

:shock: :shock: :hammer:

This in our country???!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lambretta

21st December 2005, 07:16 PM

:shock: :shock: :hammer:

This in our country???!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SS, this was exactly how even I felt at first......I guess there r a lotta things going on here tat shocks NRIs! Not sure if ur aware of this but now wife-swapping etc. r also becoming common in India! :evil: :hammer:
To be more convincing, here's one of the pages in the thread I'd mentioned (1st supportive post being from MANDANGI the gr8! :hammer: ):
http://www.andhranews.com/ftopic613.html&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=90

Now I guess I know y AP has become the AIDS capital after MH!! :evil:

ssanjinika

21st December 2005, 07:19 PM

YUCK!!!

Whats the point in marriage then???They sound like immature teenage boys who dream of a threesome.I cant/refuse to believe that these are grown up married men.

Lambretta

21st December 2005, 08:01 PM

YUCK!!!
Whats the point in marriage then???They sound like immature teenage boys who dream of a threesome.I cant/refuse to believe that these are grown up married men.
If ur referring to the guys in the thread link I gave, yes tats exactly wat I feel too! Wat way r we better off than the West (as we'd always claimed) in terms of marriage then???
Of course if they kept it to themselves its a diff. issue......but they went on encouraging others to do it & criticised those who objected to it as "fundamentalists", "anti-modern" etc!!
And one of them happened to be a doctor to boot! :hammer:
Aside, to think these guys acted like they repsected women etc. in another thread where they condemned legalising prostitution, screening of porn films etc.......jus double standards! :x

Sanguine Sridhar

21st December 2005, 08:48 PM

i wanna quote something what Madangi said :x

Marriage is not only a sexual relation, it is also for life partnership. For life partnership, marriage is necessary. For sexual enjoyment, we can also have sx with 1 or 2 others. Marriage is also for trust. Marital partners stay permanently with us. But extra marital partners are not so much trusted like marital partners.

What the :shock: :evil: ...Then what is the difference between Human beings and street dogs,pigs :evil: :evil:

ssanjinika

21st December 2005, 08:57 PM

What the :shock: :evil: ...Then what is the difference between Human beings and street dogs,pigs :evil: :evil:

Well..street dogs,pigs etc are just satisfied with sexual partners..they dont get married :wink: :twisted: .

Anyways I really pity the woman that dumb A** marries(unless shes another real B**** who has the same attitude towards marriage)

Shakthiprabha.

21st December 2005, 09:06 PM

:lol:

now we have SOMETHIGN really to call a SHAME or condemn upon, dont we? :lol: :lol:

Atleast that sexworker is spared for speaking her heart out.

Lambretta

21st December 2005, 09:20 PM

What the :shock: :evil: ...Then what is the difference between Human beings and street dogs,pigs :evil: :evil:
Exactly!
Now I realise y blahblah hates Mandangi & pained him when tat m*r*n was a member of this forum! :evil:

Anyways I really pity the woman that dumb A** marries(unless shes another real B**** who has the same attitude towards marriage)
Speaking of his wife, here's another post of Mandangi the gr8, justifying wat a broad-minded husband he intends to be:

"I dont object if my wife have bilateral s*x with 1 or 2 persons."
:hammer:

And yea, here's an "advice" by another like-minded genius in tat same thread to a lady who'd objected to posting such statements:

"Madam. What is wrong in having extra marital affair? Having extra marital affairs with other's wife\husband is for fun. If you want to know the value of fun, please have extra marital affair with other man. If you feel fun by extra marital affair, you should also encourage your husband to have extra marital affair with other woman. Some fundamentalists supress women's feedom by teaching about old traditions and culture. If you really know the value of women freedom, you must oppose preachings of those fundamentalists."

:evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :hammer: :hammer: :hammer: (actually I wish there was a beheading icon here!!)

Shakthiprabha.

21st December 2005, 09:25 PM

Lambretta

21st December 2005, 09:31 PM

Ppl can have any Bull Sh$%#%^#^g values in life. Thats their wish I personally dont have any rights to talk on that.
But, They NEED NOT SUGGEST or advise the same on others, with the all high ultimately modern ATTITUDE.
The attitude reflected in those statements of tat perverted loos-u is not at all modern but on the contrary, extremely BARBARIC/PRIMITIVE, reminiscent of caveman/jungle days! :evil:

Sanguine Sridhar

21st December 2005, 09:46 PM

:cry: I really feel sad for the first time. :evil:

Ppl can have any Bull Sh$%#%^#^g values in life. Thats their wish I personally dont have any rights to talk on that.

But, They NEED NOT SUGGEST or advise the same on others, with the all high ultimately modern ATTITUDE.
IMO he seems to be a Psychotic ... and if he got a similar Psychotic life partner and also Psychotic sex partners..then no issues! He should be in a pornographic forums..but not here :?

Lambretta

21st December 2005, 09:55 PM

IMO he seems to be a Psychotic ... and if he got a similar Psychotic life partner and also Psychotic sex partners..then no issues! He should be in a pornographic forums..but not here :?
If u mean Mandangi, he's thankfully not here nemore (as he found more scope of interest in other forums abt naxalism/maoism, his other fav. topic!).....but really, when he was a member of this forum 6-7 months ago, no-one cud believe him to hav such thinking......he always sounded like a geek/nerd when he posted msgs. here! :x

Sanguine Sridhar

21st December 2005, 09:59 PM

Yupe i mean that fello Lamby!

NOV

22nd December 2005, 06:27 AM

Pls refrain from discussing about ppl who are not here, no matter how much you hate thier views.

It is also not fair to discuss issues raised on another forum, in this forum.

Pls understand. TQ

blahblah

22nd December 2005, 12:38 PM

Yeah prefer playing low, or KIDDISH at times :wink:. Safer u see. :grin:

Else I land up with probs with ppl as they COMPLETELY misunderstand my views AND I also fear sometimes they may connect it WITH MY PERSONALITY (which I really dread, as I have VERY HIGH MORAL values WHICH I ADAMANTLY abide in life) :roll:

No misunderstanding here.I thought I was party of a discussion which demands respect from either side.I am sure most people understand your views and do not mix it up with your personality.

If you say that the Iraqis have a point to fight back the US,it surely doesn't mean that you are a terrorist yourself! :)

And we all are kiddish sometimes. :D It doesn't stop me from saying what I want to.

pavalamani pragasam

22nd December 2005, 12:38 PM

Well said, blahblah :clap: :clap: :clap: Keep it up! :thumbsup:

Sandeep

22nd December 2005, 12:55 PM

Why is it wrong for a non-commited person to have sex with a prostitute or another non-commited woman?

blahblah

22nd December 2005, 01:17 PM

Why is it wrong for a non-commited person to have sex with a prostitute or another non-commited woman?

The topic of consentual sex between to non-committed people was discussed elsewhere.
As for a prostitute,I don't think she would be graceful enough to stick to clients who are non committed! :lol:

Shakthiprabha.

22nd December 2005, 01:30 PM

Leaving aside PROSTITUTES whose duty or profession is to SATISFY ANY type of customers,

if we are talkin of non-committed sex from a man and woman's point of view.....

Everybody PREFERS to have disciplines LAID down in life. A clear and well planned life leads us to happiness.

Culture ws developed as against primitive man, only to let us enjoy a healthier life.

Nothing WRONG in enjoying non-comitted sex.

IF u look at sex, from the point of view of love(as many do) Its sad that sex-without-love but lust is resorted to.

If u resort to sex-with-love, THEN COMMITMENT happens naturally.

That is why its PREFERRED TO HAVE sex-with-commitment.

Again there is nothing like WRONG OR RIGHT. one can chose what they want.

One way is culture bound
other way is primitive.

thats it.

Shakthiprabha.

22nd December 2005, 01:36 PM

one more thing.

CULTURE SAYS...... dont hurt others
CULTURE SYS..... love others
CULTURE SAYS........... be tolerant towards other
CULTURE SAYS....... avoid JEALOUSY, ANGER, PRIDE N PREDUCE.

Most of us or almost all of us cant follow all that..... or dont follow all that.

atleast lets TRY and follow...

ONE-MAN ONE-WOMAN culture. :smile:

Sandeep

22nd December 2005, 02:13 PM

//
non-committed sex from a man and woman's point of view
//

No No I was not asking about non-committed sex, I am asking between to non-commited persons (That is between who are not commited to anyone else-they may of may not be commited to each other).

And going furthur on that I agree with Blahblah that

//As for a prostitute,I don't think she would be graceful enough to stick to clients who are non committed//

But here how is the prostitute wrong. Isn't it the customer (who is commited to someone else) at wrong.

Shakthiprabha.

22nd December 2005, 02:33 PM

YES . Its the man who failed in his commitment. PROSTITUTE just did her job.

Regarding ur first question,

By non-committed person do u mean not married ppl yet IN LOVE who before marriage indulge in sex?

Sandeep

22nd December 2005, 02:39 PM

//By non-committed person do u mean not married ppl yet IN LOVE who before marriage indulge in sex?//

A person who is "not married to"/"not in love with"/"not fiance" of another person.

He may or may not be in love with the person he is having sex with.

Shakthiprabha.

22nd December 2005, 02:46 PM

okei okei............ i got ur diffrence.

at any POINT OF TIME, a person who is not committed to any other person........

hmm....

Tommorrow assuming they commit themselves to SOMEBODY ELSE? (other than the person he or she had sex)

its all the same right.

u are not in love, but just indulge for lust.
Whatever said and done, its healthier to maintain
ONE-MAN ONE WOMAN....

Our ancestors were not FOOLS to suggest the same to us.

Weve gone far away from so many nice suggestions(not commands or orders) said by ancestors, this is the ONLY thing ppl are still adamently abiding on.

Body-mind-soul IS something we can present wholely to our life-partner ALONE.

In many cases mind and soul is missing. LET ATLEAST the body be chaste. Something is better than nothing right?

My personal view is I SUPPORT the culture of COMMITTED SEX.

I rule out however, that ppl who dont resort to it should be disgraced.

Sandeep

22nd December 2005, 02:59 PM

Sorry for sounding like a question bank but here I go again.

1) Can a person have sex with his/her lover before marraige

2) Can a person have sex with his/her spouse just for procreation without any intention of giving/sharing pleasure.

Shakthiprabha.

22nd December 2005, 03:05 PM

haiyoooooo :lol:

I sound like some priest and u sound like a person asking opinions :lol: (kidding)

ok here are MY opinions.

1. yes, marriage is just a social commitment. A person should stick to ONE PERSON with or without marriage. pre-marital sex or post-marital is SAME, if its with SAME PERSON.

2. I suppose hinduism support this. (Please lets not bring in religion here though.) It is not a wrong thing, if BOTH THE PARTNER agrees on this.

If one person wants love, THEN he or she gets hurt if sex is resorted to MORE AS A DUTY.

Lambretta

22nd December 2005, 09:35 PM

If one person wants love, THEN he or she gets hurt if sex is resorted to MORE AS A DUTY.
But love, as u once stated, need not nec. mean sex at all, rite.....?! :?

ramraghav

22nd December 2005, 11:07 PM

This might interest the participants of this discussion

http://www.ashleymadison.com/

Of course, the cake really goes to the mission statement.

pavalamani pragasam

25th December 2005, 11:53 AM

[tscii:4a355c932b]“Freedom of speech and expression does not mean the freedom to be shameless.”

“The difference between animals and humans is a moral code. That’s why it’s okay for dogs to copulate on the street, not humans.”

This is from Pratiba Naitthani, 35-year old Mumbai college professor who says most of her salary goes into PILs(public interest litigations) against obscenity and vulgar content in the media.
[/tscii:4a355c932b]

Lambretta

25th December 2005, 07:53 PM

[tscii:9362e8f61c]most of her salary goes into PILs(public interest litigations) against obscenity and vulgar content in the media.[/tscii:9362e8f61c]
So is this PIL sum kind of a committee against obscenity in the media?? This is the 1st time I'm hearing of such a thing...... :?

Shakthiprabha.

25th December 2005, 08:31 PM

If one person wants love, THEN he or she gets hurt if sex is resorted to MORE AS A DUTY.
But love, as u once stated, need not nec. mean sex at all, rite.....?! :?

love need not mean sex. I said WHEN BOTH PARTNERS AGREE its fine to indulge more as a duty for procreation.

If LOVE MEANS (ALSO) SEX to one of them, its the duty of the other to offer the same to him or her, WHEN THEY ARE COMMITTED.

Also the question asked was,

CAN SEX BE RESORTED TO WITHOUT LOVE, for procreation sake?!?!?

So its SEX AS A DUTY WITHOUT LOVE...which is being spoken about and not vice versa!!

Lambretta

25th December 2005, 08:54 PM

love need not mean sex. I said WHEN BOTH PARTNERS AGREE its fine to indulge more as a duty for procreation.

If LOVE MEANS (ALSO) SEX to one of them, its the duty of the other to offer the same to him or her, WHEN THEY ARE COMMITTED.
I agree, but not if it happens to be beyond the other's capability/feasibility, in which case the partner shud try & understand & not seek it w/ desperation/as a TOP priority! :)

So its SEX AS A DUTY WITHOUT LOVE...which is being spoken about and not vice versa!!
Hmm.....ok, got tat! :)

Shakthiprabha.

25th December 2005, 10:32 PM

I agree, but not if it happens to be beyond the other's capability/feasibility, in which case the partner shud try & understand & not seek it w/ desperation/as a TOP priority! :)

I agree with u. True. Priority should always be affection and care towards partner and NOT otherwise. :smile:

Sadly lambretta, the world is not the same anymore. Not many share these ideas :sad:

Lambretta

25th December 2005, 11:28 PM

schnappi

25th December 2005, 11:45 PM

Sadly lambretta, the world is not the same anymore. Not many share these ideas :sad:
Yea, saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadly true!! COLD HARD reality!! :( :cry: :evil:
I've incidentally nearly lost wat all hope I had even in Indian marriages......! :(

Get married and worry then that you are married - the other alternative!

Bob Marley once sang "No woman no cry" - He was damn right, lamby. Believe me!

Lambretta

25th December 2005, 11:49 PM

Get married and worry then that you are married - the other alternative!
Actually I hope it doesn't give me a reason to worry! :? :P

*DIGR*
Bob Marley once sang "No woman no cry" - He was damn right, lamby. Believe me!
I like tat song but I thot it was Boney M who sang it?? :?

Sandeep

26th December 2005, 09:19 AM

So is this PIL sum kind of a committee against obscenity in the media?? This is the 1st time I'm hearing of such a thing...... :?

PIL stands for Public Interest Litigation. This is used to approach courts on Issues that are not directly conserning you (at least legally).

If it happens to be beyond the other's capability/feasibility, in which case the partner shud try & understand & not seek it w/ desperation/as a TOP priority!

-- deleted ---

But seriously In case of lack of capability I dont think there is anything moraly wrong in leaving such a relation in an amicable manner. Then feasibily has a broad meaning. It largely depends on your priority and if your partner is not your first priority then he/she has the right to leave you.

Lambretta

26th December 2005, 08:38 PM

When you buy a Laptop it should come with a battery :twisted:
Yes but the battery of the laptop is equated w/ the HEART my friend, so similarly ur partner shud come w/ a HEART & tat is def. NOT wat can be seen on their chest or between their legs!! Get it?? :twisted:

But seriously In case of lack of capability I dont think there is anything moraly wrong in leaving such a relation in an amicable manner.
Surely u mean like.....??!! :shock: :evil: :roll:
Hope u don't turn out to be a budding MANDAKKAI! :twisted: :lol:

It largely depends on your priority and if your partner is not your first priority then he/she has the right to leave you.
Hmm......knwoing such views, I now think it sensible enuff for one of the hubbers to've asked "why marry?" in tat other thread! :?

Sandeep

27th December 2005, 08:15 AM

:huh: What did I say?

Reading your responce I feel that my first comment was a sour joke. So I removed it.

Surely u mean like.....??!! :shock: :evil: :roll:
No I didnt particularly mean physical or physological incapability.

I ment Capability/Feasibility problems caused by things like career, social life or even spiritual life.

In these cases your priority is somewhere else and your partner is not at fault if she/he leaves you.

a.ratchasi

27th December 2005, 08:39 AM

*DIGR*
Bob Marley once sang "No woman no cry" - He was damn right, lamby. Believe me!
I like tat song but I thot it was Boney M who sang it?? :?

Lambretta, No Woman No Cry by Bob Marley is definitely one of his best!

Contrary to popular belief, the phrase actually refers to; Woman, don't cry!

Here's the lyrics.

No woman, no cry (Repeat 4 times)

'Cause I remember when we used to sit
In the government yard in Trenchtown
Oba, ob-serving the hypocrites
As they would mingle with the good people we meet
Good friends we have had, oh good friends we've lost along the way
In this bright future you can't forget your past
So dry your tears I say

No woman, no cry
No woman, no cry
Little darlin' don't shed no tears
No woman, no cry

Said, said, said I remember when we used to sit
In the government yard in Trenchtown
And then Georgie would make the fire light
Log wood burnin' through the night
Then we would cook corn meal porridge
Of which I'll share with you

My feet is my only carriage
So I've got to push on through
But while I'm gone...

Ev'rything's gonna be alright
Ev'rything's gonna be alright
Ev'rything's gonna be alright
Ev'rything's gonna be alright
Ev'rything's gonna be alright
Ev'rything's gonna be alright
Ev'rything's gonna be alright
Ev'rything's gonna be alright

So, no woman, no cry
No, no woman, no woman, no cry
Oh, little darling, don't shed no tears
No woman, no cry

No woman, no woman, no woman, no cry
No woman, no cry
Oh, my little darlin' please don't shed no tears
No woman, no cry, yeah

Sandeep

27th December 2005, 12:38 PM

Found this interesting

Friendship --> intimacy
Infactuation --> passion
Empty love --> commitment
Romance --> intimacy + passion
Lustful relation --> commitment + passion
Companionship --> commitment + intimacy

True love --> commitment + intimacy + passion

Lambretta

27th December 2005, 02:08 PM

Reading your responce I feel that my first comment was a sour joke. So I removed it.
Oh, were u joking?? I thot u were serious when u mentioned abt the "need" of the laptop to hav a battery! :)
Neways, nvr mind tat now.....!

I ment Capability/Feasibility problems caused by things like career, social life or even spiritual life. In these cases your priority is somewhere else and your partner is not at fault if she/he leaves you
Career for one thing wud prove to be a hindrance but may not always be your fault......there r times when ur job makes u too busy whether u urself may like it or not, ur parnter must understand tat! Social life may be understandable but if the partner is selfish enuff to find even spiritual life of the other as a hindrance to mere physical relations (even tho the relationship is much more than tat) tat sounds too matierualistic of him/her then I guess u cud be right abt separating! :x

Shakthiprabha.

27th December 2005, 07:39 PM

I wann say 2 words on this issue.

If sex is all what is needed and divorce or seeking sex outside commitment is resorted to, I SUPPOSE then LOVE is not given primary importance in such issues.

When u LOVE ur partner, u will with PLEASURE accept his or her situation and abide by it.

What do u all think about DIVORCES which happen these days on the grounds of SEXUAL-DISSATISFACTION ? :huh: OR IMPOTENCY?

Lambretta

27th December 2005, 07:58 PM

I wann say 2 words on this issue.
If sex is all what is needed and divorce or seeking sex outside commitment is resorted to, I SUPPOSE then LOVE is not given primary importance in such issues.
Exactly!

When u LOVE ur partner, u will with PLEASURE accept his or her situation and abide by it.
Exactly again! :D

What do u all think about DIVORCES which happen these days on the grounds of SEXUAL-DISSATISFACTION ? :huh: OR IMPOTENCY?
Well, if u wann know, THIS IS WAT I THINK OF IT: :evil: :evil: :evil: :hammer: :hammer: :hammer:

Lambretta

27th December 2005, 09:12 PM

*DIGR*
Sorry a.r, was in a hurry, forgot to reply to u earlier......
Lambretta, No Woman No Cry by Bob Marley is definitely one of his best!

Yup I do know this entire song & its one of my favs., been hearing it since I was a kid! :D
Only afa I knew since then it was Boney M who sang it......this is the 1st time I heard of Bob Marley having sung this song! :D

Um.....and this is the 1st time I'm seeing wat he looks like :wink: :
http://www.cwgsy.net/private/sharvey/Lambretta_exodus1.jpg

*END DIGR*

Scale

27th December 2005, 09:37 PM

Lambretta,

enna oru dedication. :lol: Lamby, havent you seen him in T-Shirts.

I even heard that he plays the guitar with legs : :? :shock:

Lambretta

27th December 2005, 09:42 PM

Lambretta,

enna oru dedication. :lol:
Dedication thaan nenaichikilaan! :wink:
Btw macha, antha vandi vanthu ennodth-u ille! :lol:

havent you seen him in T-Shirts.
I even heard that he plays the guitar with legs : :? :shock:
Yea tat I rem. hearing once too.....but I guess its the first time I'm seeing him! Tat too, by strange coincidence, see where am I first seeing him! :wink: :lol:

Scale

27th December 2005, 09:49 PM

Hilarious! :lol:

Right people gets right perspectives :rotfl:

Lambretta

27th December 2005, 10:02 PM

*DIGR AGAIN*

Hilarious! :lol:

Right people gets right perspectives :rotfl:
Seems true in my case! :D
*END DIGR*

gorgeous gaayini

28th December 2005, 03:49 AM

Gosh a 13 year old girl!!!! :shock: :shock: :shock:
I thought my age girls were ok, but seems to be false, i'm jsut a year younger than her, hope no bodys like that in this country.
this is getting too bad dudes, those boys should be killed!

Sandeep

28th December 2005, 09:13 AM

What do u all think about DIVORCES which happen these days on the grounds of SEXUAL-DISSATISFACTION ? :huh: OR IMPOTENCY?

If there is lot of love and intimacy between the two then there will be no divorce even if there is less or no passion.

In most cases "SEXUAL-DISSATISFACTION OR IMPOTENCY?" is only the last nail in the coffin.

Problem is today in our run to achieve everything we forget to spend some simple sweet time with each other and then there is no intimacy.

Shakthiprabha.

28th December 2005, 11:36 AM

u hit the nail sandeep.

good post :thumbsup:

Lambretta

28th December 2005, 07:21 PM

If there is lot of love and intimacy between the two then there will be no divorce even if there is less or no passion.
Exactly Sandeep! :thumbsup: :D 'glad u didn't turn out to be wat I'd wrongly feared (reading ur earlier comment tat u later deleted)......!

Problem is today in our run to achieve everything we forget to spend some simple sweet time with each other and then there is no intimacy.
Exactly! Also the fact tat "intimacy" in today's scenario is broadly misunderstood as sexual enjoyment alone! :(
It can jus mean spending sum time together, talking, sharing ur joys/worries......
D@mn! this jus shows how woefully materialistic today's society has become, the kind of things they look for in married life!! :x :banghead:

Lambretta

28th December 2005, 07:23 PM

ssanjinika

28th December 2005, 07:33 PM

Ya was wondering abt that myself..

Lambretta

29th December 2005, 08:40 PM

Sandeep

30th December 2005, 07:51 AM

I have not read the book but have heard that its a very good novel.

Lambretta

30th December 2005, 08:33 AM

I have not read the book but have heard that its a very good novel.
Hmm...very good huh?? In wat sense I wonder! :roll:

Sandeep

30th December 2005, 10:13 AM

The novel is structured itself in the structure of Kathakali.

Some praises.

"Masterful story teller.....Some bonds grow and other break and in these intertwining relationships lies the beauty of Anita's saga."
- The Times of India

"The art of regaining humanity"
- India Today

"Mistress is a well-written novel that gifts the reader with knowledge of a magical art form. For that reason it should be read by all, from the uncompromising artist to the champions of contemporaneous India."
- Tehelka

"Fiction and research go hand-in-hand in Mistress. Even the storytelling technique has overtones of Kathakali, which enacts the drama of life. The uninitiated, however, is led by a Kathakali lexicon while Kerala becomes the inevitable canvas."
- Asian age

"Art is a tough mistress. Exacting. Unforgiving. But beautiful and tantalising, all the same. In Mistress these truths prove double-edged, yet true as steel"
- The Hindu

Check for more
http://www.anitanair.net/novels/mistress/praise_for_mistress.htm

Lambretta

30th December 2005, 06:48 PM

The novel is structured itself in the structure of Kathakali.

Some praises.........
The kathakali part may be fascinating (donno much abt tat dance tho :)) but curiously the various sources of media tat hav praised this novel (in the link u gave) hav in their reviews, missed (or excluded?) the um...not-so-traditional parts of the novel (which was y I mentioned it in this thread!), as mentioned in the synopsis:

A searing new novel of art and adultery.......

The triangle quickly excludes Shyam, Radha's husband, who can only watch helplessly as she embraces Chris with a passion that he has never been able to draw from her........
:oops: :roll:

:huh:

Lambretta

30th December 2005, 06:59 PM

Actually found this in one of my Y! groups recently but din't hav time to paste it here until today, I think its very imp. for eveyone to know:

4 held for siphoning off plastic cash

They Would Make Duplicates Of Credit Cards Used By Customers At A Juhu Hotel

TIMES NEWS NETWORK
Mumbai: The next time you decide to use your credit card on a shopping trip, think again. The Mumbai police have busted a hitech credit card fraud which they believe is the crime of the future.

Four gadget-savvy youngsters from Andheri, two of them software engineers, got together to earn a quick buck and ended up ripping off over Rs 3 lakh of citizens' money. The foursome were arrested by the Juhu police on Tuesday. Interestingly, one of the boys was all set to leave for the United States for a job in a wellplaced computer firm.

According to the police, the mastermind of the gang is 19-year-old Leo Paul. A second-year engineering student at a Bandra college, Paul had read about a magnetic card-reading device which could store data once you swipe a card through it. Data from at least 12 such cards could be stored at a time. Paul realised that if credit cards were swiped though the machine, the personal data of a customer stored on it could be accessed. He then teamed with Akash Kamble, a 19-year-old Lokhandwala resident, and ordered the card-reader from USA, using the internet, since it's not available in India.

"The boys befriended a waiter at Kings International hotel at Juhu to take their plan ahead. Every time someone ate a meal in the hotel and paid by credit card, the waiter would discreetly swipe it through the magnetic card-reader, which is no more than 6-inches long and can be stored in the pocket,'' said investigating officer Ramesh Nangare.

Once the waiter was done, he would hand over the device to Paul who would download the data from the cards on to Kamble's personal computer. The duo would then feed the data into blank cards, available in the grey market. The cards were now ready to be used in shopping malls and theatres, or to withdraw money from an ATM.

Senior inspector Pradeep Shinde said that the boys forged information from more than 22 cards in this manner. The fraud came to light after officials from HSBC bank complained to the police. The cops quizzed customers whose cards had been duplicated and discovered they had all visited Hotel Kings International and paid by credit card. Investigators then caught the waiter who led them to the four youngsters. Paul, Kamble and the two other collegians identified as Manoj Chauhan (24) and Mahesh Valani (20), have been remanded to police custody.

NEW-AGE CRIME

A portable magnetic cardreader can store data from around a dozen cards that have been swiped through it; made in China, the device was bought on the net for Rs 18,000.
The card-reader is connected to a computer and the entire data is transferred there.
The data is then stored in blank cards available in the grey market.
These duplicate cards can now be used to buy a fortune and also withdraw money from ATMs.
The accused used a card-reader to transfer the data on to a PC for making a duplicate credit card.

Surya

31st December 2005, 05:58 AM

Whoever felt tat Kushboo had done the most terrible act of verbally "slandering the chastity of our women" ought to know abt this "bold" novel by a fiery woman novelist who's written such books even b4:

http://www.fabmall.com/stores/misc/frmmainFrame.asp?files=FDL&catalogId=Books&productId=0144000334

:roll: :oops: :twisted:

:lol: I personally think that that's a book for everyone to read looking @ the summary. It's on my to-read list. Thanks for the Link. :D

Although there might be some chemical reactions inside a person who thought that Kushboo is the sole reason for all the immoral behaviors of women in TN Today! :lol:

Lambretta

31st December 2005, 08:57 AM

:lol: I personally think that that's a book for everyone to read looking @ the summary. It's on my to-read list. Thanks for the Link. :D
:? Machi r u like, being sarcastic or sumthing?? :P

Although there might be some chemical reactions inside a person who thought that Kushboo is the sole reason for all the immoral behaviors of women in TN Today! :lol:
True! :lol:

Sandeep

2nd January 2006, 09:35 AM

The kathakali part may be fascinating (donno much abt tat dance tho :))

Its a dance drama (not dance).

But curiously the various sources of media tat hav praised this novel (in the link u gave) hav in their reviews, missed (or excluded?) the um...not-so-traditional parts of the novel (which was y I mentioned it in this thread!), as mentioned in the synopsis:

A searing new novel of art and adultery.......

The triangle quickly excludes Shyam, Radha's husband, who can only watch helplessly as she embraces Chris with a passion that he has never been able to draw from her........

These are not complete reviews. These are like the 2 sentence introdudctions that you usualy find in the cover of books.

Detailed reviews may be found in the real media itself.

Then who said adultery or sex is non-traditional. The more you go back in history the more liberal where Indian literary works. Well somewhere in the middle we lost.

Anyway as long as the book gets its place for the right reasons its good.

phil

3rd January 2006, 03:12 AM

As for the perverts, they should be caned and caned until they see what is it like to be at the receiving end.

:lol: Lol. RAtchasi !! :lol:
Short and sweet explanation :
Definitely its true that one should look out for changes in child's behavior. But remember any kid of these sort dont have parents who monitor and teach their kids about proper behavior.

Indeed, if every parent has the knowledge how to grow a child and provide proper encouragement in desirable skills and curb unnecessary exposture to obscene facts and scenes, this world will be having about 5 billion genious citizens with 0 criminals. Anyways, this issue is prevelant all around the world.

Again Ratchasi, caning a child is good to an extent, but if a child is caned in excess, his personality may become more calm and reserved, and not loquacious like Ratchasi :lol:

* Teach the kids what is good manners (Do's and Dont's)
* Spend time with kids helping them in their education (Encouragement is a must )
* Prevent them from watching or exposture to obscene/violent or even criminal scenes in television.
Consequently, they will develop a mentality in them that makes them hate all bad manners and makes them hardworking and self dependent

Just do these three and i bet the kids will grow up as great kids not only for you, but also awesome global citizens.

Lambretta

3rd January 2006, 12:25 PM

Finally got my net renewed!

Its a dance drama (not dance).
Oh well....as I said, I'm not very educated in tat! :)

Then who said adultery or sex is non-traditional. The more you go back in history the more liberal were Indian literary works. Well somewhere in the middle we lost.
Of course its not the 1st time where such themes were used in literature- or evn real life- there was a time even before where immorality prevailed in our society.....apparently even stronger than it is now....but it was by no means our original tradition/from the beginning of our culture.....neways, I can't go into much detail abt it here as it'll be a digression for this thread as well as Misc. scn.!
But as for saying "we lost"?! :shock: Oh well, now tats a pity.....still, wat exactly r we going to gain now by reviving this literary erotica?? :? :huh:

Lambretta

3rd January 2006, 12:35 PM

caning a child is good to an extent, but if a child is caned in excess, his personality may become more calm and reserved, and not loquacious
True......physical punishments at a tender age tend to make the child feel "guilty" or nervous/apprehensive abt every aspect of his/her behaviour perhaps even thruout their life! It can also make the child too withdrawn/serious & less sportive/light-hearted towards even mild jokes/amusing situations! I can say this as I've turned out to be partly like this as I grew up......was more so during my school days! :(

* Prevent them from watching or exposture to obscene/violent or even criminal scenes in television.
Incidentally, there r sum local telugu channels here tat telecast programs w/ obscene scenes from adult films on weekend nights......these r known to be watched by youth when their parents r asleep/they r alone.......there r sum of us in our bldg. who wanted these channels removed from our cable TV supply......but on talking to the cable TV bill boy, we were told tat we hav no discretion as to wat channels to hav! We hav to stick w/ watever the operators provide! :shock:

Just do these three and i bet the kids will grow up as great kids not only for you, but also awesome global citizens.
More imp. tat they grow up as true human beings, after tat maybe they can choose to be global or nat'l citizens! :)

a.ratchasi

3rd January 2006, 01:54 PM

[tscii:5eb741e172]

A Shame

The news in the front page of today’s “The Hindu”: ‘Harassed’ girl commits immolation, 3 boys held.
A 13-year- old girl immolated herself due to sexual harassment by 3 boys near her house at Pallavaram, Chennai… The Pallavaram police have arrested the boys, all of them aged between 10 and 14, on the charge of sexual harassment and lodged them in the juvenile Home…One of the arrested boys is employed in a scrap iron shop, while the other two are studying in standards VI and VII. The dead girl was a standard VIII student, always among the top three students and secured the first rank recently.

[/tscii:5eb741e172]

Phil, don't waste my time with your ramblings!

You have, with excellent precision, quoted me out of context!

phil

3rd January 2006, 10:53 PM

[tscii:728ab8bcd7]

[/tscii:728ab8bcd7]

Phil, don't waste my time with your ramblings!

You have, with excellent precision, quoted me out of context!

OMG
Oh man! I am not a Jerk!! I thought you are azagana ratchasi :wink:

pavalamani pragasam

11th January 2006, 12:30 PM

An interesting blog I came across:

Perplexed about Premarital Sex?
These reasons aren't enough, to have premarital sex.

1.My friends are doing it
You are not your friends. You have your own identity.

2.It would be cool.
When you want to be something you arent, you are Wannabe Kewl not Cool.

3.I would lose my partner
If your partner cant respect your decisions, you ought to dump the partner.

4.I dont want my friends/partner to think I could be gay
Better be thought a gay, then be in a closet and doing things you dont want to.

5.What if I die tommorrow?
Why are you terminally ill or verrrrrry old? Well I do know there could be a tsunami or earthquake or a terrorist attack. And you could be an unfortunate victim.But we dont yell at our Boss thinking what if I die tommorrow, or spend everything in the bank thinking what if I die tommorrow.

6.Its seem so great in the movies
People jump from tall buildings and never get hurt in the movies.

7.I feel bored
Get a hobby

8.I feel lousy now perhaps I would feel better after sex
10 minutes afer sex you are probably going to feel lousy too. And if you dont really want to do it, and have sex just because you think it will make you feel great, you are just expecting too much and perhaps will end up feeling lousier.

9.I have the money and someone needs the money.
Its unethical and illegal (Yes I Know you Know).
And those who get caught never thought they would get caught.

10.Porn feels good, sex should feel better.
Looking at an icecream advertisement is not the same as eating a melted icecream. Things could get sticky and yucky too. And you might not like the flavour.
Those in the ads, are paid to look as if they are enjoying it.

11.Someone hot and popular wants to do it with me!
Chocolate is great, but 15 minutes after having it, you are not going to feel great. Its never worth it if you really dont want it.

12.I want to blog about it or talk about it
Read couple of other blogs which are on it, and blog. None would know the difference. Or better blog about something different about you. If talking about it, is the reason for it, or if thats the added advantage, well generally its supposed to be personal....

new 13.The magic of unknown.
If thats your only reason, ask yourself, if your are going to stop after it becomes known. The best thing about the sex doesnt lie in the first time. Then people would do it only once:)

new 14. I have done it in the past
Sex is not just a habit. Let it be meaningful to you. Every breath of life, is an opportunity to be yourself. Just because you thought it was fine, in the past doesnt mean you would think its fine now.

new 15.Kissing, Oral Sex etc are not the same as intercourse.
Yeah of course they arent. But whatever the nature of the sexual act, dont do it for the wrong reasons

Whats enough? Well if you really want to do it for yourself and after you have considered the Premarital Sex Checklist

1. Spontaneous maybe fun, but definitely not at the cost of safe sex. There is nothing romantic about unplanned premarital pregnancy, HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases.

2. Dont rely on peer knowledge, better to get the doubts clarified from a doctor.

3. Be prepared also for the possibility of a seperation in future. If you are having sex, kissing, oral sex etc, only in the belief that the person will marry you , well why not wait a few more years. If these activities, make you feel vulnerable and if you think you will not be able to emotionally handle, a seperation later, dont.

4. Never have sex just to prove your love. This is just a form of emotional blackmail. The partner can always " prove the love" by going for a socially recognised method of "proving love".

5. Look around before exposing or indulging in sexual activities. One of the key ingredients of the Jalgaon scandal which happened some years ago was women being duped in the name of love, and recording the act and then blackmailing into doing more , with the video.

6. Be prepared for police raids if you are doing it in a public place and not your home (Check TOI on the number of people caught in "cola bars"in Gujarat and cyber cafes in UP etc).

7. Dont allow yourself to be photographed while doing something or while exposing yourself , by mobile cameras etc (Do I have to explain why??)

8. Oral sex is Medium HIV risk. Kissing can be a risk if you have open wounds. This is just for HIV, if you are so keen on having sex, do a basic research on other Sexually Transmitted Diseases.

9.Even if its just casual sex, think of the consequences if your future life partner gets to know about it. Think if you would be able to face any problems created due to this.

10.Also worth a check : The age of your partner and if the partner has another jealous "partner" or a family member with homicidal tendencies

So this concludes the post on premarital sex
For both the chromosones, xy and xx
Its really not very complex
But better, to exercise thse mental checks.

abbydoss1969

11th January 2006, 08:11 PM

10.Also worth a check : The age of your partner and if the partner has another jealous "partner" or a family member with homicidal tendencies

That is the most persuasive argument :lol:

pavalamani pragasam

11th January 2006, 09:09 PM

:lol:
Solace of some humour in such a serious matter! The blogwriter has said it forcefully!

Lambretta

8th February 2006, 08:52 PM

Altho this bit of news is rather old (15th jan), I jus came across it online.....I found it quite thoughtful to post:

NEW DELHI: India is slowly turning into a centre for child-sex tourists, says a path-breaking study on trafficking, while calling for a global battle against child sex.

"In India, the abuse of both male and female children by tourists has acquired serious dimensions," said the 748-page study called "Trafficking in Women and Children in India", which was sponsored by the National Human Rights Commission.
"Unlike Sri Lanka and Thailand, this problem has not been seriously tackled or discussed openly (in India) and has remained more or less shrouded in secrecy, making the likelihood of child abusers being caught and punished very low," it said.
"The silence of the community and its unwillingness to speak out and openly discuss the issue has further compounded the problem."The study said Goa had become a sex destination for many tourists, and added that sex tourism had become a problem in Kerala too.

Detailing a case study that led to the conviction of a foreigner in Goa, it said that beach boys, shack owners and former victims of paedophiles were facilitating the procurement of boys and girls for sex.

Along with the growth of tourism in Kerala, there was increasing victimisation of children, it said.
The study quoted other investigators as saying that hoteliers in areas like Alleppy and Ernakulam promoted sex tourism "because such services bring in extra income.
Victims are often projected by agents as college girls in search of fun and excitement or wanting to earn an extra buck."

"In places like Alleppy, foreign tourists stay in houseboats, making houseboat sex tourism a new and thriving concept. This is a safe method, as there are hardly raids on houseboats."

Enforcement agencies, the study said, "have turned a blind eye to this problem and cases have seldom been registered".

The study quoted investigators as saying that many children mentioned that they had sex with a varied range of tourists for Rs 50 to Rs 200"It is hard to measure the incidence of child sex tourism as it is difficult to conduct quantitative research on such a clandestine and illegal industry," the study said.

Qualitative research and anecdotal evidence suggests that child sex tourism is growing and spreading into different regions of the world.

There is also evidence that over the last few years, increasing numbers of sex offenders, particularly from Western countries, are shifting to less developed countries due to increasing vigilance and action against paedophilia in their own countries.

"There are fewer laws against child abuse in India and the beaches of Goa and Kovalam in Kerala are increasingly becoming the main destinations for those seeking child prostitutes."

pavalamani pragasam

8th February 2006, 09:23 PM

I too read this news with a heavy heart. The price India is paying for globalisation is skyrocketing!

ssanjinika

8th February 2006, 09:28 PM

Whats more sad is instead of tackling such issues..we seem to be content to hide them beneath a cover and keep going as though everything is fine.

pavalamani pragasam

8th February 2006, 09:41 PM

The glitterati are too busy making money as are the corrupt politicians. The MEDIA is soulless, purposeless, principleless People are content with their pay packets & mega serials. Too much indifference in society to sensitive issues. Utter selfishness stands in the way of true progress of the country & the eradication of social evils.

Lambretta

8th February 2006, 09:44 PM

I too read this news with a heavy heart. The price India is paying for globalisation is skyrocketing!
More than globalisation its the degradation of our own society tat is to be blamed! The kind of things ppl. r ready to do for money! :evil:
Also I fear this is, to put it in Churchill's words: "not the beginning of the end but merely the end of the beginning"! :(

Whats more sad is instead of tackling such issues..we seem to be content to hide them beneath a cover and keep going as though everything is fine.
Very solid point! And I thot Kerala was such a pristine place for tourism, considering all those ads they show....! :(

pavalamani pragasam

8th February 2006, 09:50 PM

The craze for the pleasures of the flesh & the power of MONEY are reaching a peak all over the world. The result of consumerism-promotion tendency.

Sandeep

9th February 2006, 11:12 AM

Story of GREET and LUST

They were called the 'holiday brides', but they never had anywhere to go. Now, even their children have nowhere to go as entire generations grow fatherless.

At 32, Balwinder Kaur of Sherpur Pucca village is a bitter woman. Not many men have been welcomed to her house after she got into a 'holiday marriage' with US NRI. Mahender Badwal. The moment she was pregnant and asked him when he would take her to America, the land of her dreams, he abandoned her. "These days, I just live for my son," says Balwinder, the years of futile struggle showing on her face like creases. Balwinder is one of the thousands of hapless victims who were used by NRIs to have a good time while on a holiday in India.

The promises were fake, so were the addresses. Often, the person was a fake. News had reached foreign shores that farmers in Punjab were desperate to get their daughters married to NRI grooms and get a green card in the land they saw as paradise. From there on, it was easy to trap families and use the gullible women as little more than escorts. Narrating her harrowing experience, Balwinder explains how her parents found her an NRI husband and spent all their hard-earned money on the marriage and dowry. "Mahender spent a month with me in 1990 and went back. He did return in 1992, got me pregnant and left. He came to India in 1999 and got married to someone else," she says. There are countless others like her. In nearby Dhade village, Fateh Singh says he doesn't want his daughter's name to be published. "My daughter was discarded by an NRI groom from England. Dowry and more dowry was what they wanted. I just wanted my daughter to be happy," he cries.

Parents, though, are not without fault. "Parents have at times used NRI grooms for reasons of social mobility. Of course, they have paid a price too heavy for their mistake," says Balwant Singh Ramoowalia, former MP and chief of the Lok Bhalai Party.

He is one of the few politicians championing the cause of such victims, many of them from Doaba region. "I'm appalled at how 117 legislators and 13 MPs have been napping over a phenomenon that has ruined the lives of 15,000-20,000 Punjabi girls," Ramoowalia fumes.

Lambretta

9th February 2006, 11:20 AM

Parents, though, are not without fault. "Parents have at times used NRI grooms for reasons of social mobility. Of course, they have paid a price too heavy for their mistake,"
Also very TRUE!! These foolish parents who unnec'ly get illusioned w/ a bed of roses abroad 'promised' to them by NRI guys & more or less r ready to sell their daughters to them r also to blame! :evil:
Its ironically not only uneducated, poor parents like these but even educated parents in cities here who r reasonably well-off willingly walk into this bait! Many of them hav their own selfishness behind it; if they get their daughters to marry NRIs & settle abroad, they can go around telling 10 ppl. abt it to boost their status!
Altho I may sound too crude sayin this, incidents like this shud serve them rite for their greed & shud (hopefully) open their eyes!!

pavalamani pragasam

9th February 2006, 11:40 AM

It will be good if such foolish, greedy mistakes are not repeated, if people learn lessons!

goodsense

9th February 2006, 11:41 AM

Lambretta,

Are you sure you are only 24? You seems go wise and mature in all your post :D

Please bring back the Amitab avatar :D . I think Querida misses it too.

Lambretta

9th February 2006, 11:50 AM

Lambretta,

Are you sure you are only 24? You seems go wise and mature in all your post :D
:lol: Me wise & mature?? W/out experience in life as yet? :D
Hmm......maybe now I wudn't think it disturbing tat I've begun to get grey hair already!

Please bring back the Amitab avatar Very Happy . I think Querida misses it too.
Aah......one more request for AB & counting......! :D
Will need a few more to call it 'popular demand'.....! :wink:

Lambretta

21st February 2006, 03:48 PM

I've read in another forum tat the local news revealed details of "friendship clubs" in andhra. I donno if other states hav them.....
Surprisingly, turns out tat even small towns in AP hav got many members in these clubs.
I don't know how exactly it works but its said for acquiring membership in these clubs, u need to pay a sum to the office at Delhi. But ther r girls who r said to be using this to enter into prostitution in these clubs! :evil:
It sounds like the Delhi office takes the money from members willing to join, for this reason!
In case ne of u comes across a similar club in ur city/state or neone who's joined sucha club, I'd advise u to be careful & verify the details of such places/persons fully b4 deciding to hav nething to do w. them!

malsi

21st February 2006, 07:22 PM

yes lambretta...you seem to be mature for your age...

Lambretta

21st February 2006, 08:02 PM

yes lambretta...you seem to be mature for your age...
Um...tks! :D

pavalamani pragasam

21st February 2006, 09:52 PM

Lambretta

21st February 2006, 11:41 PM

Sometime back read about "mixed couples" fashion spreading in metros. A scintillating theme for Hollywood & Bollywood this nauseating "wife-swapping" practice is gaining popularity. Where is the world heading?
Never mind the world at the moment, where is India heading?? :huh: :banghead:
Incidentally, I've heard tat this trend of "mixed-couples" existed among high society families even earlier but not the middle classes & poorer families.....however nowadays, I suspect, the latter too r getting assimilated into this!

Sandeep

22nd February 2006, 08:08 AM

There was this club in Kerala where the men would put all their car keys together and then randomly take a key out. The wives will be in their respective cars waiting for the key owner.

But after some guys started to get too lucky, too frequently, the plan broke.

This was reported in news paper about 10 years back. Aint we ahead of the rest of India.

pavalamani pragasam

22nd February 2006, 08:14 AM

Shame! Shame! Utter shame!

dev

22nd February 2006, 08:38 AM

goodsense

22nd February 2006, 10:01 AM

Lambretta

22nd February 2006, 11:27 AM

I thought this only existed in Britain - where I first and last learnt about it. Didn't know it exists in India. More you live more you hear. I am getting more and more shocked about today's India :shock:
Well, u aint the only one!! :shock:
Welcome to the club! :( :banghead:

Incidentally, I didn't hav time to mention this here but a few days back I saw a report on NDTV abt a few seaside hotels/resorts in Pondicherry which r owned by sum local MLA & known to conduct prostitution/nude dances there! Guests from Madras etc. come there for this purpose & 40,000 odd women r being forced into this trade there every year!
Also turns out this thing has been going on there for the last 15 yrs but has been uncovered only recently!
However, wat made my blood really boil is when the roprters interviewed the CM of Pondy (Rangasamy or sumthing), asking him abt this, he smiled, shook his head & went on saying, "no, no....nothing like tat....."! WT*!!!! :evil: :hammer:
I guess tat MLA whoz running these places belongs to his party so he doesn't want to get him nailed!

Shakthiprabha.

22nd February 2006, 05:19 PM

Good sense,

you dont know today's INDIA :sad:

Such attitudes are in rise these days. I personally know some acquaintances, who let loose on THeir commitments as both stick to their highly professional jobs, touring and travelling too much to be at home. Since many are assumed cant stay without food, 'What u get today, is ur bait' kinda life.

I used to be a naive, sheltered newly wed, when I heard such trends in bangalore. I felt thoroughly shocked and clueless to react.

Nowadays I am too indifferent that, ITS THEIR LIFE, lemme be happy with what my conscience tell me and stay away from judging them.

Yes, It does still make me sad to read posts like sandeep's :(

Lambretta

22nd February 2006, 05:46 PM

I personally know some acquaintances, who let loose on THeir commitments as both stick to their highly professional jobs, touring and travelling too much to be at home. Since many are assumed cant stay without food, 'What u get today, is ur bait' kinda life......................Nowadays I am too indifferent that, ITS THEIR LIFE, lemme be happy with what my conscience tell me and stay away from judging them.
Um.....if I might ask, surely u feel like staying away from them as well? :?
I know it wudn't be possible to change the mindsets of such individuals by 'teaching' them morals or nething, but all the same I wudn't want myself/my family to be acquainted w/ them in ne way either, not if I cud help it! :oops:

U may be right in a way abt one not taking liberty to judge others but wat really angers me whenevr I think of such things is the fact tat it was India tat started all this culture/values etc. & kept poo-pooing at the West in the past for not maintaing it & now India itself doesn't care to maintain it, deeming its own culture as 'outdated'! Wat better eg. of double-standards cud u find in the world! :evil:

Shakthiprabha.

22nd February 2006, 06:10 PM

Lambretta,

I AM away from them. I never could get close, cause of lack of common thinking. They are just acquaintances, whom officially or unofficially we are forced to put up occasionally with a grin.

REgarding INDIANS who WERE an example for the world but now ARE found increasingly tilting towards western culture, the reason I suppose is, many find a fascination to a free life style which THEY BELIEVE would bring them happiness. Tough lessons which may take time to show results.

With globalisation Such cultural changes are BOUND to happen. We cant help it.

Lambretta

22nd February 2006, 06:58 PM

the reason I suppose is, many find a fascination to a free life style which THEY BELIEVE would bring them happiness. Tough lessons which may take time to show results.
Yes ur very rite! I wud say tat this is our ppl.'s dangerous (& foolish) weakness! This slavish mentality of being fascinated w. practically every aspect of a foriegn culture & getting swayed by it!
Yes I'm sure ther will be lessons in future to teach them (ther r infact now itself, but they r too blinded by their fantasy-bound illusion to see them!), altho can't say for how long.

With globalisation Such cultural changes are BOUND to happen. We cant help it.
Maybe we can't......but still, I've reason to believe this all is not goin2 last forever.....it will come to an end altho I won't say 'soon' or 'within x no. of years'.....I've been told u can't fix a time-limit to such things! Nething cud happen unexpectedly- as even ur guru Sri Ravi Shankar said! :)
Neways, I'm goin2 to Hyd. on sum urgent work tonight.....will be back on sat.
Cyall then! :wave:

ssanjinika

22nd February 2006, 07:35 PM

ssanjinika

22nd February 2006, 07:39 PM

I feel somewhat sheltered here in the US where apart from my husband I depend on my friends.These were friends of my husband when I came here first as a newly wedded bride now they are mine too...Ours is a huge gang and friends include friends from school and college and their respective sposes.The thought of coveting another ones husband/wife does not even enter the air aound our heads let alone our heads.The very thought is disgusting!!!!

Shakthiprabha.

22nd February 2006, 10:29 PM

ss,

Things are NOT like what u have in US. India (esp upper middle class and upper class) is heading towards diff direction. LArgely heading in diff dir.

rajraj

22nd February 2006, 10:39 PM

I feel somewhat sheltered here in the US where apart from my husband I depend on my friends.

Yes! Indians tend to be clannish in US(and many other countries).
Reality hits them hard when their children start school and reach middle and high schools! :)

Badri

23rd February 2006, 04:40 AM

Nowadays I am too indifferent that, ITS THEIR LIFE, lemme be happy with what my conscience tell me and stay away from judging them.

Extremely sensible of you, Shakthi. You have in one statement captured everything - letting them be, not allowing them to interfere with your life or happiness and not judging them!

:clap:

Although some may want to be more proactive and want to do something about this sorry state of affairs, I personally think your course of action is the wisest! It is, as you say, their life.

Querida

23rd February 2006, 05:16 AM

if ever a title reflected a thread's content it is this one...i am just utterly shocked that such things occur never mind that it happens in India but that it has to happen at all :(

Madam PP, this is awhile back but please tell me the reasons you quoted for premarital sex are not for real...if one is going to make such a decision based on such immature shallow reasons...that just goes to show how much ill-respect one has for oneself :x

That some do this out of consent such as mixed couples is their own depraved business but that one is forced and has no say whatsoever of what happens to them is so unbelievably wrong :evil:

stranger

23rd February 2006, 05:57 AM

stranger

23rd February 2006, 06:04 AM

Badri

23rd February 2006, 06:11 AM

Badri

23rd February 2006, 06:14 AM

if ever a title reflected a thread's content it is this one...i am just utterly shocked that such things occur never mind that it happens in India but that it has to happen at all

Q: The percentage of people those who involved in such filthy activity will be less than 0.000001 %

We give more publicity here by discussing it in public! :(

Actually, that is really very true! Perversity always existed, right from ancient times, in all countries. Dredging it up is what media does, with two consequences -

a) makes the prudes mutter appropriate sounds of extreme shock, and judge the rest of the world

b) tempts more people into trying it

and neither remedies anything, if it doesn't actually make it worse!!!!

And with no offense to anyone in this group here, methinks people get a perverse titillation in actually discussing about this, even if they only mean to condemn it!

stranger

23rd February 2006, 06:24 AM

[tscii:56b307fc5f]Well, I read it somewhere!

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ÓÊó¾¡ø Å¡úì¨¸¨Â «ÆÌ ÀÎòÐ!

ÓÊÂ¡Å¢ð¼¡ø «º¢í¸ ÀÎò¾¡ÁÄ¡ÅÐ þÕ!

Again, "beuaty" can be defined according the individual's convenience! :)

So much for now! :D[/tscii:56b307fc5f]

goodsense

23rd February 2006, 08:11 AM

SP,

I thought what Sandeep was saying is that husbands agree to let their wives go with another male just for the sake of being involved with another male (as I know it in the UK), and not for prostitution!

If it is for prostitution, then of course no one has the right to judge these people. But I wondering since you said these are people who usually have no food and perhaps in need of other basic things, isn't there any government/social programs to help out? Like in North America, we have the welfare system proving shelter, food and basic clothing and if that is not enough, say you overspend in other areas and have no food, there are other programs such as food banks. Women alone with children get the utmost support from the welfare system. I think if India adopts such programs, it would be of great relief.

As to the effects of globalization on our culture, its happening everywhere. I happen to visit a girl from my home town a few months back in G. Her husband said to me, "girls and boys nowadays here are not like in our time". There watch all the western TV shows etc. some even go on drugs. I am sure if I go back in a few years, things will even be worse than they are now.

The drugs bit is due to the influence of the West Indies. Now G is forced to take in blacks from Jamaica and elsewhere due to overcrowdedness and they bring their Rastafari (drugs and dredlocks hairstyle) style which G never had.

Lammy,

You are right! People go astray for whatever reason and they come back to themelves. Sometimes its influence, curiosity or need for something different. Sometimes only after all this, they can really "appreciate" what they had or who they were and desire and want it again with most "value". They say, nothing stays the same forever!

pavalamani pragasam

23rd February 2006, 08:42 AM

Let me first apologise for having brought up what is to be hushed up, pushed under the carpet. I overestimated the power of a public forum & misunderstood "mooda mooda rOgam"!

I sincerely wanted to see the reactions of fellow hubbers ( are they prudish or "liberal"). I am satisfied to find some nauseated like me. There can be no pleasure, no perverse titillation, at least not for me, in discussing such shameful matters. Did I misjudge the maturity of the hubbers?

The news stranger provides about the rarity of its occurrence is immensely relieving. I had an unnecessary fear it might be the tip of an iceberg, God forbid!

The concept of individual freedom, "none of your business, whatever I do" is mind-boggling, How much is legal, moral, communal involvement/relevance found in such "free behaviours"? How much can we afford to be "free" in societal, political life to do what we "like"?

Q, I quoted the premarital sex bit because I found good sense in it. I wanted many more to read it.

goodsense

23rd February 2006, 08:44 AM

You mean you found me (goodsense) in it :lol:

Badri

23rd February 2006, 08:55 AM

The concept of individual freedom, "none of your business, whatever I do" is mind-boggling, How much is legal, moral, communal involvement/relevance found in such "free behaviours"? How much can we afford to be "free" in societal, political life to do what we "like"?

A thin line between wanting to preserve "culture" and moral policing, the likes of which have stunned India (with the Chennai disco incident, the policemen slapping couples in park episode etc)

Like it or not, we are becoming part of a world culture. A culture that is quite invasive. The good news is that there is a vast population left that wishes to retain its old cultural identity. As long as that population suceeds, the balance will be maintained.

But that said, questioners of freedom will not find themselves or their views too popular. At best, they might find themselves snubbed with a "well, you are free to try and impose your rigid values on us, but you are not going to succeed."

The constant fluttering and wringing of hands we have been seeing in the Hub whenever anything sensational comes up is lame! I would say, grow up, the world is not a garden of sweet smelling roses. Chamber pots there too. And cry as one might, the chamber pots are going to remain. We can choose to look at them and cry about their existence, or prefer to smell the sweetness of the roses and make our lives happy, like Shakthi said.

pavalamani pragasam

23rd February 2006, 08:59 AM

Thanx, badri!

goodsense

23rd February 2006, 09:59 AM

""beuaty" can be defined according the individual's convenience!"

No one here is trying to define beauty, but if we were to define it, I think we would be referring to the natural qualities be it morally or physically and not the un-natural.

In open discussions, we should not be offended when the issue is negative, focussing on our own people or those closest to us, but to look at the issue objectively if anything postive will come out of it.

Here we are discussing the un-natural and there is no point for indirect attacks or is it just guilt of past-casted stones? I wasn't even thinking about that, I was just as shocked when I heard it in Britain :wink: Never imagined such a think can exist (man and wife agreeing to swap partners for the night at couple bars and moreover, someone you are meeting for first time and don't even know):x

Querida

23rd February 2006, 10:11 AM

a) makes the prudes mutter appropriate sounds of extreme shock, and judge the rest of the world

b) tempts more people into trying it

and neither remedies anything, if it doesn't actually make it worse!!!!

that this discussion is encouraging any person to do any of these things is absurd, I think everyone here atleast has the sense and maturity not to cowardly and wrongly blame a topic as the reason to their waywardness. Is it not their own decision to do so, no one is being forced or coerced. Is this not a forum to discuss are we to just say we have better things to do than care about a wronged population? I genuinely feel appalled and so have expressed it, for those who only say so for docorum's sake (if there are such persons) then they are only lying to themselves, and what is sadder than that?

Shekhar

23rd February 2006, 10:12 AM

Although some may want to be more proactive and want to do something about this sorry state of affairs, I personally think your course of action is the wisest! It is, as you say, their life.

Is that LEGAL :?:

Not really sure, stranger! Is adultery illegal? Or is it immoral? I know it is grounds enough for divorce, but consensual sex between adults of the opposite sex in India may still be legal!

To tell you about the legality of it in India, it is a bit strange..

Yes. Sexual relationship with a married (adult) man or a woman is illegal..
But a case can be filed in court only on the complaint of the affected, ie, wife or husband couple in relationship. Police or anybody else cannot take action unless there is a complaint from the affected party.
The strange thing is, a case can be filed only against the man and not the WOMAN. A woman cannot be tried for adultry in India. (She can be tried for prostitution)
Now you talk about gender bias!!! :o :o :) :)

Sandeep

23rd February 2006, 10:23 AM

80,118 people died in road accidents through out India in the year 2000. In the same year 5,555 people where killed due to terrorism.

Which one should we discuss about ?

Prostitution is many times more common than rape. So shall we keep quiet about rape.

Its not the numbers that is in question here but the severity of actions.

Here we are talking about people being "broad minded" (huh!!!) enough to share ones partner just so that they can enjoy another person. They many be the extreme of the society but on a whole it shows the general degradation of Morals.

Badri

23rd February 2006, 10:32 AM

No doubt it shows a degradation of morals, but tsktsking about it in a forum does nothing! It will perhaps apall those who have not heard of it! Their lives might have been better for not hearing about it at all, than feel apalled at the existence of such deviant practices!!

And neither can we hide behind the "knowledge" excuse here.

There are a million practices - good, bad and ugly - in this world, and knowledge of them all is not going to help anyone any much.

Rape is the wrong example to quote. If any of the women in question were forced into this, then it is a legal issue. But if they had no qualms about it any more than their husbands, it is a moral issue only, and where morals are concerned, it is each man/woman to his/her own. And no other may judge them.

Querida

23rd February 2006, 10:47 AM

http://www.guria.org

http://www.petitiononline.com/guria/

fine then Badri then if my shock is only a gesture of propriety than i hope this will slightly redeem me from being just a prude. Here is something that can be done.

Badri

23rd February 2006, 10:51 AM

Now we are talking, Q!!! This is action! This is what we need now, this is what will help!

Thanks! :)

goodsense

23rd February 2006, 11:00 AM

And what about my proposal of social programs like we have here? Do we need a petition for that as well? Or my concerns are not important on this issue .... and only amount to being prudent?

Sandeep

23rd February 2006, 11:04 AM

Goodsense,

These are not cases of financial problems or anything. This is just moral degradation and hence social programs as in US will not help.

Plus to tell the truth our expectations form the government are far limited.

goodsense

23rd February 2006, 11:13 AM

Sorry, I was a bit confused there and this is why I was waiting for a response from SP. Got carried away with other responses in the meantime and got even more confused.

Shakthiprabha.

24th February 2006, 12:16 AM

Badri,

finally someone whom I agree upon fully.

Goodsense,

FOOD MEANS NOT FOOD. (I meant thirst for diff things) :roll:

Lambretta

25th February 2006, 07:30 PM

Lammy,
You are right! People go astray for whatever reason and they come back to themelves. Sometimes its influence, curiosity or need for something different. Sometimes only after all this, they can really "appreciate" what they had or who they were and desire and want it again with most "value". They say, nothing stays the same forever!
Tks for ur response, GS! Sorry, been away the last couple of days, got back just this morn.! :)
Neways, u 2 r right abt this 'change' in todays India being due to curiosity, apart from influence/need for sumthing 'differnt'....! This wat even our spiritual guru at the local RK mission told me whenever I'd discussed such problems w/ him.....He also stated tat a time wud come when our ppl. realise the ashes beneath the bed of roses tat is intoxicating them at the present so a change for the better wud come but no telling how soon/later!
Its jus tat things like 'free' sex, lavish & 'freaky' life, which were earlier restricted or not commonly available here, happen to be curiosity-arousing to most ppl. today & w. the current-day media/cinema getting so powerful, its a matter of time for such 'forbidden' matters to spread around so publicly....plus todays education system tat cliams to be based on 'secular' grounds, w/ the result tat its making ppl. intellectually/professionally strong but value-weak! Not a good combination u'll agree?!
Btw, a more amusing thing- when I was in hyd. thes last 2 days, I stayed w. an old friend of my dad's......I'd visited the RK math over there the other day & my mum says when she'd once called his house at tat time, he kept commenting to her, how & y youth like me shud 'waste their time' visiting such places or hav such 'uncommon' interests! So like, am I supposed to hang out in pubs/niteclubs, which sound more 'common' for many of my age?! :roll: :huh:
And surprisingly, he happen to be quite conservative/traditional! He & his wife happen to visit tat math too.....
This jus shows tat hez the typical Indian parent of today (altho his 2 sons r settled/married)......he feels tat studies r not the most imp. but the ONLY aspect of ne youth of tat age! He doesn't even care abt one taking interest in things related 2 our own culture/values! Or perhaps they mostly feel tat we cud get it all by doing well in studies itself, which is the most foolish assumption I cud think of!
So this is one more imp. reason y ppl. from my gen. onwards (inc. many girls!) hav been going astray once they r independent adults!
Many avg. parents today don't care to realise this even if is staring at them in the face! but r good at the blame game (viz. TV, flims, 'bad' friends etc.....) :x

goodsense

25th February 2006, 11:03 PM

Lammy,

Good to see you back. I will be away from here and would miss you like I have been recently, but will keep in touch by PMs (I hope) :)

PS. I will certainly miss certain other hubbers who caused me to have some enjoyable times here. I am getting into trouble with work being piled up and I am now forced to eliminate certain activities, in addition to some "disgusted experiences" here that stole some of my time. As we know, many of us come here with intentions to spend a small amout of time, which gets extended. Can't afford it, at least for sometime.

Happy Shivrari and bye for now.

Shakthiprabha.

25th February 2006, 11:48 PM

:roll:

28th February 2006, 09:27 PM

PS. I will certainly miss certain other hubbers who caused me to have some enjoyable times here. I am getting into trouble with work being piled up and I am now forced to eliminate certain activities, in addition to some "disgusted experiences" here that stole some of my time. As we know, many of us come here with intentions to spend a small amout of time, which gets extended. Can't afford it, at least for sometime.

Well U WIN SOME U LOSE SOME....lifes like that!!!!! :wink:

Lambretta

28th February 2006, 10:23 PM

-deleted by myself, as the post to wich I replied doesn't exist now- :)

Shakthiprabha.

1st March 2006, 03:32 PM

:shock: :(

What happ with RP?

Lambretta

1st March 2006, 07:51 PM

More news from AP!
tv9 has revealed sum shocking facts of a few beauty/massage parlours in hyd'bad.
Administrators/owners of these parlours first shot customers nude pictures and videos and later used the same to threaten them for money and/or to sexually exploit them! :evil:

Turns out somebody provided the list of those parlours altho I didn't find them mentioned.....
But plse be careful while visiting beauty parlours in hyd'bad if ne of u happen to visit ther.....
Last year even here in Vizag, ther was a report in the paper abt police arresting the owners of a beauty parlour here tat used to give massages as well......they were having them done by nude female employees, using them for prostitution within their parlours as well! until they were reported by a customer.

pavalamani pragasam

1st March 2006, 09:45 PM

:oops:

A nice price we pay for our new-found beauty consciousness! An ugly side-effect of beauty culture!

Lambretta

1st March 2006, 09:51 PM

Earlier (10+ yrs ago) beauty parlours wer only for ladies & customers as well as staff/management wer stirctly women......later on ther opend up parlours for men too run by men......unftly nowadays the 'unisex' trend is getting too popular in jus abt every sphere so u'll find parlours wher even female beauticians don't mind being employed to attend to male customers!

pavalamani pragasam

1st March 2006, 09:53 PM

And vice versa!!!

Lambretta

1st March 2006, 10:12 PM

And vice versa!!!
Yes tat too in sum(?) cases! :oops: :x

ssanjinika

1st March 2006, 10:40 PM

I guess I belong to the "Ladies Only" generation :oops:

Lambretta

1st March 2006, 10:44 PM

I guess I belong to the "Ladies Only" generation :oops:
Wats ther to feel embarassed abt?? :huh:
Tats good for u! :thumbsup: :)

1st March 2006, 10:56 PM

The National Television Violence Study(US)

The second year of the National Television Violence Study project examines programming delivered during the 1995-1996 television season. Data were obtained from analysis of 2,700 hours of programming, including 3,235 non-news and non-sports programs broadcast on the 23 channels most frequently viewed by the U.S. public. The results indicate that violence is typically sanitized on television -- it is rarely punished in the immediate context in which it occurs, and it rarely results in observable harm to the victims. There was just as much violence on television in 1996 as in 1995. Television poses a great deal more risk for children under age 7 than for older viewers, and most of the dangerous portrayals of violence are found in the genres and channels specifically targeted to these young children. Recommendations are offered to parents, television producers, and policymakers.

ssanjinika

1st March 2006, 10:57 PM

I guess I belong to the "Ladies Only" generation :oops:
Wats ther to feel embarassed abt?? :huh:
Tats good for u! :thumbsup: :)
The thing is I never considered my self to be a part of "X Generation" :lol:.Always thought there was the previous generation and the current generation(including me).Progess has been so fast these past few years that theres a whole new generation inbetween now :roll:

1st March 2006, 11:07 PM

Shakthiprabha.

2nd March 2006, 06:09 PM

Talk whatever I may..........

I am NOT comfy with the concept of men and women doing therapy or massage to EACH OTHER.

****

:roll:

****

I should say, when I watch MTV or other channels these days (I rarely watch watch nowadays cause, my daughter is always tuning it to cartoons)

the dresses they are clad in.......... makes me feel SAD. VERY SAD. (more than embarassed or angry)

After all its marketing, its each one's wish.............yet.................... somewhere around in some corner.......... the next gen is going to dogs. Cant really help feeling sad.

I can sense it. I feel sad. Nothing else can be done. :(

pavalamani pragasam

2nd March 2006, 06:47 PM

SP, you are growing up very fast!

Lambretta

2nd March 2006, 07:37 PM

I should say, when I watch MTV or other channels these days (I rarely watch watch nowadays cause, my daughter is always tuning it to cartoons) the dresses they are clad in.......... makes me feel SAD. VERY SAD. (more than embarassed or angry)
Forget MTV, SP! I think most of the Bollywood, Tollywood, Kollywood films of today r far more potentialy hazardous as unlike the former, these r seen more WIDELY, by the MASSES all over our country!
Everytime I've gone to & from Hyd. by bus I feel irritated at the kind of movies they show in them during the journey (these r A/C 'Volvo' buses run by APSRTC)......once they showed 7G Brindavan colony (no need to say wich film it was dubbed from!) & this time they showd a couple of Tel. movies tat r so explicitly DUMB! Most of current day telugu movies esp. hav dumb comedy/comedians talking crappy jokes/double-meaning dialogues abt extra-marital relations, leching at the neighbour's wife & such......! I jus feel utterly disgusted to sit in the bus wher they play such films! 'wonder how the junta here cud be so stupid to actually not mind watching such films/see them as mere entertainment! :hammer:
And tat too they show these in buses where ppl. wud travel w/ ther families! :evil:
I think tats mainly y I don't find many women/children travelling by buses (atleast in the Vizag-Hyd. ones) nowadays.

I can sense it. I feel sad. Nothing else can be done. :(
Yea, nothing can be done maybe for the entire youth......but of course u cud always do nething & everything for ur own kid/s......glad u hav the perception to sense this early on!

pavalamani pragasam

2nd March 2006, 07:43 PM

Lambretta, in Tamilnadu, in private city buses running in the cities loud film songs blared to the utter irritation & embarrassment of many & cheap enjoyment of a few youth- the filthy songs of modern films! People cant help squirming! Not grown thick skinned yet in spite of such exposure in the MEDIA for so long! A miracle. May God be thanked!

Lambretta

2nd March 2006, 07:52 PM

Well, PP ma'm......I guess it wudn't be as irritating if they wer only blaring the songs (audio)......u can always shut ur ears at the noise! :)
But in my case u see the dumb video played thruout in front of u.....I cudn't even manage to sleep off imm'ly bcos of the glare from the screen keeping me awake! :x :(

pavalamani pragasam

2nd March 2006, 10:29 PM

Have myself endured such video tortures in buses during long travels. It never failed to surprise me how grooved the passengers were to to the stupid fare offered. As for the audio torture in city buses can you imagine the plight of girls & ladies when the male crowd leers, jostles, pinches, ogles, giggles, and all other unimaginable vulgar acts? The most cruel part is high school, college coeds really enjoying it!!!

Lambretta

2nd March 2006, 10:41 PM

Feels worse wen ther happen to be girls among the crowd who like/encourage such things in the name of fun/enjoyment! :oops: :(
In ssuch a case it feels difficult to even speak out of consideration for girls/ladies enduring this situation!

pavalamani pragasam

2nd March 2006, 10:47 PM

Just shows how cheap today's youth have become!

Lambretta

2nd March 2006, 10:59 PM

Yes...to think tat this was the 'freedom' tat they desired!

Incidentally, got more news on the Hyd'bad beauty parlour incident- police had arrested a doctor(!) alongwith owner of one of the parlours in qsn. apart from seizing many nude videotapes of the victims.
However, I hav reason to believe tat these ppl. even if found guilty w/ evidence, wud soon be let off on bail; they mus be having sum powerful connections behind them too!
The real shame here is tat ppl. like doctors who r supposed to be in Noble professions indulge in such immoral acts! :x
Even in Chennai in 2001, police arrested Dr. Prakash, a very famous/successful orthopedic surgeon ther, who did a side-business forcing/luring girls/women (inc. his own patients/staff) into pornography & even created porno sites of his own, doing business w/ similar sites abroad by selling nude pics./videos of his victims!
I'm not sure if he is still imprisoned or managed to wangle out a bail later!

Shakthiprabha.

2nd March 2006, 11:06 PM

SP, you are growing up very fast!

:lol: :lol: :oops: pp maam

Therila.............. may be................ true :(

Guess.......... I am also entering 'FRUSTRATION stage' because of watching all nonsense.

Lambretta

2nd March 2006, 11:14 PM

Guess.......... I am also entering 'FRUSTRATION stage' because of watching all nonsense.
Ippo thaana?? Naan intha stage-ku ungle epovo overtake panniten! :lol: ( :()

Shakthiprabha.

2nd March 2006, 11:14 PM

lambretta, pp maam

(Ive wrote about this earlier)

IVE GONE THRO HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL in city buses. :cry: :cry:

words cant say the embarassment, TRAUMA I went thro. Ive cried, feared, worried bout my bus travel and MEN during bus travel.

I EVEN DETESTED MEN, for a period of time. It took LONNGGGGGGGGGGGG LONGGGGGGGGGGGG time for be to be normal again. Incidents did leave behind SCAR in my mind.

they 'USE women' is the word.

I wish THERE IS A LAW to KILL theM ON THE SPOT :evil: :cry:

Shakthiprabha.

2nd March 2006, 11:17 PM

Lambretta

2nd March 2006, 11:27 PM

they 'USE women' is the word.
I wish THERE IS A LAW to KILL theM ON THE SPOT :evil: :cry:
SP,
ur not the only one to wish tat! I feel the same abt these b@st**** whenever I THINK abt such things, even tho I (fortunatly?) havn't witnessed such incidents while travlling in buses (in Hyd. atleast)....
I think I've mentioned this b4- one good thing I find in pub. transport buses in AP (namely Hyd. & Vizag) is tat they hav always had separate seating for ladies, the 1st 3-4 rows of seats up front & even they entre/exit thru the front entrance, men (can't say 'gents!') thru the back....so this way chances r relatively less (exception of overcrowded times!) for ne misbehaviour to happen towards women!
I havn't found this system in buses of other cities (namely Madras).....?

Lambretta

2nd March 2006, 11:33 PM

Lambretta,
I actually spoke about hindi albums in MTV. (english is much much much decent)
half clad women, sammmmmmmmmmmmmme body moments,
its soooooo yucky, disgusting, puking..........
Yup! Tat is true! I once noticed many yrs ago they even did sum remix albums of religious songs clad in 'kamasutra' style costumes! :evil:

Are we going back to ANIMAL STAGES?????????
veruppa irukkuthu :cry:
No I think worse than tat, cos animals can't do much damage aorund themselves as they r not intellectually developed.....they'll remain the way they r....but in us ther is power of knowledge/intellect & can be used for harmful power as well!
So the effect is bound to be 10 times worse!
I jus hope for even one sign among the society to indicate remorse for their unleashed desire for 'fun' & 'freedom'! :(

Shakthiprabha.

3rd March 2006, 05:50 PM

lambretta,

I feel THE FUTURE GEn would go to the extreme, see therez no happiness in kinda life they lead, COME BACK TO civlization!

:thumbsup: Nothing is the solution except WAIT FOR THE reformation (by sacrificing 2 to 10 generations to dogs)

Kartikeya

3rd March 2006, 09:53 PM

The incident is too shocking and no words can describe the anguish the little girl must have felt and the agony she must have suffered that forced her to take the final drastic step!

Not only the three boys, but their parents ought to be severely punished,

Kartikeya

Sandeep

5th March 2006, 11:01 AM

One question to the women here, are the "perverts" in bus youngsters or middle aged men.

Lambretta

5th March 2006, 11:08 AM

One question to the women here, are the "perverts" in bus youngsters or middle aged men.
Can be both......also can be educated as well as uneducated guys!
But wat I feel is generally m.aged men (esp. among educated) r unlikely to be bold enuff to do it so openly as they wudnt be as 'quick' as younger men/teens in their move & also wud be conscious of being made out.....since as 'elders' they r expected to project a dignified image wich youngsters wudn't normally worry abt....

Sandeep

5th March 2006, 11:32 AM

Lambretta

5th March 2006, 11:38 AM

Why I asked it was I have read in many editorials tht M.aged men where more into these things rather than youngsters.

Also if you see almost all sex related crimes are done by M.aged men. And if you see the list you will find a lot of Dr., Prof., Engr.
Yes they r usually capable of committing big scale crimes but on a daily basis 'small-scale' sexual crimes (inc. eve-teasing) r more apt to involve younger guys (I don't mean jus youngsters but even youth in their 20s/early 30s).....
Incidentally, I read in another forum a few months ago abt an incident in hyd. wher a woman was pulled into a car & raped by 3 guys, one of them was an 18 yr old!

5th March 2006, 12:23 PM

There was no respect for youth when I was young, and now that I am old, there is no respect for age - I missed it coming and going. -J.B. Priestly

It's one of nature's way that we often feel closer to distant generations than to the generation immediately preceding us.
Igor Stravinsky

a.ratchasi

10th March 2006, 09:19 AM

Blank Noise Project (http://blanknoiseproject.blogspot.com/)

Shakthiprabha.

10th March 2006, 02:05 PM

One question to the women here, are the "perverts" in bus youngsters or middle aged men.

99 PERCENT OF THEM ARE MIDDLE AGED PIGS only :evil:

pavalamani pragasam

19th March 2006, 09:51 PM

[tscii:570e1fd9e5]NOT A VERY IMPORTANT NEWS! JUST ONE OF THE "CRAZY" MODERN TRENDS THAT CATCH MY ATTENTION IN THE NEWSPAPERS! LlIVING TO LEARN:

From “The Times of India”:
A stitch to regain virginity.
Hymenoplasty is the new craze among medical tourists in India.

“Like a virgin, touched for the very first time…” crooned pop diva Madonna. Well, now there are many who want to be one.

Like this 42-year-old woman from UK who wrote to the cosmetic surgeons in Apollo Hospital, Ahmedabad inquiring if they could help her turn virgin again as a gift for her husband on their 20th wedding anniversary.

The lady was inquiring about hymenoplasty- a cosmetic surgery replacing the hymen and currently a rage abroad among wives who are only too willing to get under the knife to become virgins again!

“While more and more women from the US and UK shopping for cosmetic procedures in Indian hospitals, along with breast upliftment and liposuction, we are now increasingly also getting inquiries about hymenoplasty which tops the list as a unique anniversary gift,” says Dr Bijal Parikh, consultant cosmetic surgeon in Apollo.

Hymenoplasty costs anywhere between Rs 1 to 2.5 lakh in the US and UK while the same is done in India for Rs 10,000-20,000.

Interestingly, doctors say that women in Ahmedabad too are opting for revirgination through hymenoplasty for completely different social reasons.

“Unlike the West where the idea is to please their partners, here young girls opt for it to escape social wrath associated with the husband’s discovery that his bride was not a virgin,” says leading cosmetologist Dr Hemant Saraiya who has performed over 6 hymenoplasties so far. “Two of the girls were call girls belonging to good families ho wanted their hymens intact as they were engaged to be married and wanted no suspicion from their husbands. The rest had indulged in premarital sex but did not want their husbands to find out,” says Saraiya.
[/tscii:570e1fd9e5]