Topic started by Bhargavi (@ sdn-ap-003ilchicp1388.dialsprint.net) on Sun May 12 14:24:53 .
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I woke up with a jerk when my alarm was screeching at a high pitch. It was time for me to start to work. That’s the time my mind struggles to get up, my hands pull the blankets over my head & my heart says ‘can I sleep for another 5mins? ’Nah…I have to get up, because there is another devil waiting for me at my office. My boss!
With a heavy sigh on my face I go to the bathroom to fulfill my morning duties. As I come, I see Radhika: my wife coming with a cup of hot coffee, just what I need at that time for my eyes to wide open.
We have been married for 10years now, and I don’t remember a single morning I have left without seeing her smile. She was calm. Always the answers to all my questions, the only person I wanted to share my problems with. Well, so I hurriedly sip coffee, take my morning newspaper, grab my 5yr old son (sonu) for school & kiss my wife bye.
On the way to office, I am shouting at the rickshaw driver to hurry up. I was already late for the meeting. As I enter my cluttered office, I hear my colleague saying that the devil, oops our boss is waiting for me. But today I was able to sense something unusual in my office. All the guys had a big smile on their faces and some chaos was going on. But I didn’t have time for investigating.
I hurried up with the presentation papers & entered my boss’s cabin. But there he was calm & cool with a smile on his face, which I haven’t seen in the past 5 years. ’Welcome Prasad’ my boss said tapping his hands on the desk. Well, I thought that was a sarcastic remark on me for coming late. Then I see a young lady sitting next to him. I didn’t wait for any further introductions & started on with my presentation. My boss addressed the lady as ‘Ms. Sushma’. She was appointed as the new marketing assistant, which means she was now going to work under me. Now I was in trouble. I am a very shy person. I don’t mingle up very well with ladies. Well that’s my problem. I can’t co-ordinate with her. My mind was racing with thoughts & my body was sweating. ’Can u explain me this chart Mr.Prasad‘ says Sushma.
I see all my colleagues looking at me & smiling again. This had always been a bad thing about my office. Everyone just waits for a new lady employee to join. They start dressing up smartly, coming to office early & improvise on their English, which they speak only with the lady. Now I knew the reasons for their silly smiles.
As I spoke to sushma about the presentation chart, I was sweating. I wasn’t looking at her. She came close to me & asked me if I was uncomfortable. Suddenly I raised my voice & said ’Please maintain a distance’ that’s the time I looked at her for the first time. She was young, may be about 20-22 yrs, smart, beautiful & fearless. There was something different about her than other women. I felt embarrassed staring at her. I was her boss now. But somehow I wasn’t comfortable.
When I returned home I was longing to tell Radhika about my day. But somehow I thought it wasn’t so very important. Radhika was explaining me about the savings. We were saving each & every penny to buy a new house. The present house was old & clumsy. As sonu was growing he needed a separate room for himself. That was Radhika’s dream. I was so amazed to see her save so much within a short span of time. It had been long since we lived in the rented house. She was determined to buy a house. That was the time I realized that she had forgotten all about herself. She used to look so beautiful when we got married. Now she looked old & tired. Somehow I thought that she has dedicated all her life to me. Taking care of my son & me. Suddenly I felt I loved her more than anything. I hugged her & she smiled. As if she knew what was going on in my mind.
Two days later I asked my boss to keep Sushma’s desk outside my cabin. He laughed and made fun of me. But things didn’t work out that way. As soon as Sushma’s desk was in the hall, all the others in the office started devoting more time staring at her & impressing her than working. Finally she was assigned a desk in my cabin again. She wasn’t quite. She wanted to know more about my family & me. She looked at me with lots of care. But I didn’t like this, I was totally angry. I hated it when people question me about my likes & dislikes especially in office.
I was a different man in office. At home I was clumsy, lazy & irresponsible, the opposite at work. Somehow she seemed to be more adamant than me. Slowly as time passed, I started taking to Sushma more. I realized that I was spending more time with her. Somehow I was changing, but didn’t know why. At home I rarely used to talk. Radhika’s whole attention was with house & sonu. She didn’t find any change in me. One day I asked for a perfume, when she smiled & asked me if some foreign delegates were coming. My whole personality was changing.
One day after work I took Sushma to a coffee shop. Slowly I asked her’ where were we heading to? This seemed so obvious now. She told me that she loved me. But I realized that there is much more that she didn’t know about me, about my personality at home. On the whole, about everything. I tried telling many times, but it seemed to make no difference in her. I told her she was young & smart; she couldn’t ruin her life for me. I was a 38yr old man & I knew that life shouldn’t be like this for me. Moreover what about Radhika & sonu? I still cared about them. There were no solutions to these questions, which were constantly pouring in my mind. Every time at home, when I looked at Radhika’s ambitious dreams & the trust she had in me I feel guilty. I even tried crying in the toilet. How very shameless of me! I was a coward. There were friends who considered me an ideal man & our marriage to be a success. How could I fall in love with someone? Well no answers…just questions. Which made the situation worse. Sushma was calm & quite. She knew that she loved me & was not worried about anything.
After 4months,I decided to break up this news to Radhika. It was raining & I returned from work late. Radhika brought me a cup of coffee. I asked her to sit & told her that I needed to talk. I opened up like a high-speed racer. After hearing, I could see a drop of water in Radhika’s eyes. She stood up & told ‘Prasad, why don’t you bring home Sushma one day? I would like to see her. What about tomorrow?’ I looked straight into her eyes & asked ’Is that all you have to say?’ she smiled & told ‘Yes’.
I explained to Sushma, about my financial position & what state my house was and how badly we wanted a new house. I asked her to come home with me after work. After all she had to face the reality now.
That day I was feeling sick. I couldn’t concentrate. We left office early. Went and spent some time in the beach, quietly gazing at the waves & feeling guilty. As I reached home, I saw that sonu was very happy. I saw the walls painted. The house decorated & Radhika coming to greet Sushma. For a minute I couldn’t recognize Radhika. She was beautiful. Her hair tied, her sari crisp & new, her eyes more beautiful than ever, the same old Radhika who was 10 years ago. I even realized that she went to a parlor, which she never went in the past 10 years.
For a minute I felt I was dreaming. My whole thoughts changed. I looked at Sushma as if she was my daughter & wanted to stand besides Radhika & say ‘kid u were wrong’
I was ashamed of myself. The feeling that should have always been there suddenly drifted me to some place I don’t belong to. I was wrong .I had made a mistake. A terrible mistake.
Sushma was seeing the chaos in my mind & nothing entered my mind in the last hour. Finally I said ’Sushma, its late, I must leave you home… & return back home’
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