Topic started by bhuvana (@ dialpool-210-214-17-241.maa.sify.net) on Sat Sep 8 08:22:59 .
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I thought that, till date love = kadhal but now-a-days I come to think that love !- kadhal. Kindly post your feelings on this thread.

Responses:

• Old responses
  
• From: ec (@ bryant.rz-berlin.mpg.de) on: Tue Nov 20 16:55:03
  
  
  I suppose, by love you mean immatured kaadhal. Then, love is a liking which gets intensified by the surroundings, the encouragements from friends, the many movies, ads, stories, etc. It doesn't think about the reality and lives only in the imaginary world. If it ends up in marriage with the same emotions, it will surely face difficulty in surviving . Love is also committed but lacks longevity due to immaturity.
  On the other hand, if we define Kaadhal as a true love, then it is non-existent. No two people fell in love, can have identical ideas and expectations in life.
  So what is kaadhal? It comes when these lovers start to think about the reality, see the differences in them, and try to respect, support and sometimes adjust with, each other. Thus it gets strengthened with time.
  So Bhuvana, I take the term love and kaadhal as immatured and matured relationships respectively. So the corresponding tamil terms are immatured love = kaadhal and matured love = nEsam (natpu between lovers!)
  
  
• From: - (@ occe4.156ce.singa.pore.net) on: Wed Nov 21 03:23:53
  
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• From: bhuvana (@ 202.9.169.14) on: Fri Nov 23 08:58:35
  
  God save the king! At least one person near my level! As you say 'ec' love is immatured, and kaadhal - matured, what is the proof? When I Tamil nadu boy or a girl knows the term love, certainly he/she knows kadhal too. That way, I guess you are saying since kadhal must be known earlier, it is matured when applied by somebody! But, my point is totally different! First of all when two dogs wants to make a baby dog, what is the preparation done by them? Please don't mistake me because I compare an animal. There are reasons that I have no other option. When the two dogs meet, then the male dog follows the female dog and some time, the female will reject usually and later if the male so desperate, then the will go up to sex - the understandable sounding are all take place during these time! Now, what language did they use to express their wishes? A language exclusively for dog? may be. But in the case of human being, the sex is not the primary concern but the survival. The love helps them make a fearless plan to face the future. There are plenty of responsibilities for the to do if they do not have so much strength, they will not carry out their duties! because weakness! So if there is a bond between two minds, it would help them carry out with a strong motivation. The bond between minds is an imaginary aspect however, it can be proved to hold some physical significance. The reason for which I say that they show the physical significance is that the kadhal has its own physical significance based on one's Tamil background similarly, the love is based on one's English background. Since Tamil and English are essentially different in their origin, they naturally be different. But if any body can prove that, this kadhal is purely a sort of chemical reaction; or man and woman act as polarities, as two unlike poles attract etc., I would certainly agree that they(love and kadhal) are the same!
  
  
• From: ec (@ bryant.rz-berlin.mpg.de) on: Wed Nov 28 13:48:49
  
  Hi bhuvana, never in my previous mail I said kadhal>love and I won't agree with such arguments. To me both are the same. I only try to place my views, based on my understanding that you feel kadhal is better than love.
  I don't think language played a role in discriminating this feeling among different regions. Because when we look at the situations till a century ago, everywhere similar tradition was only followed. That is to say, relationship between man and woman was one to one, which must last life long, the man must win the bread, the woman must lookafter the family, etc... Even now, many old western couples (in that case from any part of the world) look the same as our Indians, in their love and committments to each other. Since life style was defined then, this love was rather an emotional decision. So we can very well say love=kaadhal then, in your words.
  
  Only in the last century, many intellectual revolutions have taken place. People started giving importance to intellect than emotions. Nowadays even if two people like each other (just by chemistry/emotional) they don't take the decision of marriage immediately without considering their ambitions and desires. I think this intellectual revolution is the cause for the change in the definition of love/kaadhal and not the language. Since many Westernes give much importance to individuality than emotions, you might have got the idea that their love is different from kaadhal. It is the problem everywhere, but more pronounced there. So my conclusion is love and kadhal are the same irrespective of the language. Both were influenced by the present life style, their longevity demands more thinking/working of the lovers(kaadhalars) of any part of the world.
  
  - I think this time I understood you properly and answered. Otherwise I am sorry.
  
  
• From: ec (@ bryant.rz-berlin.mpg.de) on: Wed Nov 28 14:08:57
  
  Let me make the last two sentences clear again:
  
  So my conclusion is love and kadhal are the same irrespective of the language. Both are influenced by the present life style, their longevity demands more thinking/working - proper combination of emotions and intellect - of the lovers(kaadhalars) of any part of the world.
  
  
• From: bhuvana (@ 202.9.169.136) on: Thu Nov 29 20:59:13
  
  Okay, ec, your logic, gives way to the evolutionary theory! That is, 'the languages don't matter but the - influence'. Influence! this has to be a great word for me to mince about! Any how, I must appreciate your firm statement on love is no different than kadhal. But, you know somthing, we need a language to express ourselves!
  
  Still, your point is agreeable now;because, I have absolutely no time to argue here. You're 50% near the reach! And you may not feel sorry here due to any reasons, since, your 2nd para sounds very sensible and genuine. I was slightly confused rather or your mode of placing points is better! I shall get back to you later if possible.
  
  
• From: venkat (@ 202.56.193.85) on: Sat Dec 1 08:51:06
  
  hi bhuvana
  love and khadal are different.
  in english love is general term like i love my daughter ,i love my son .
  but i cannot have khadal on my daughter.
  tamils has unique word khadal esclusively to express the love between lover and husband wife
  others we have to use anbu.
  kahal and kammam are inter linked that is why kadal cannot be used just like that like love.
  
  
• From: ec (@ bryant.rz-berlin.mpg.de) on: Tue Dec 4 15:25:31
  
  Thanx bhuvana for acknowledging my e-mails as apropriate to the context of your question, atleast by 50%. You said we need a language to express love - everyone has it, the body language! It shows better than the words can do. There are many people who met their mate belonging to other languages/races. Once they realize the love they have for each other through their simple gestures (care, smile, etc), they don't mind expressing it in a common language or learning the other's language. Because, though love needs contemplation for longevity, it is purely emotional (chemistry) in the very beginning.
  
  The main reason for me to take part in this thread is, our kaadhal for our country/culture shall not prevent us from seeing what is good in others or why are they different from us. This alone forced me to take your question as an universal phenomena rather than Indian.
  
  
• From: jackie (@ cpe-24-174-198-254.elp.rr.com) on: Wed Sep 17 19:07:52
  
  what is love?
  
  
• From: Pavalamani Pragasam (@ dialpool-210-214-8-199.maa.sify.net) on: Thu Sep 18 01:46:19 EDT 2003
  
  The way the world through the media is raving about "love" & "kaadhal" one has to doubt very much about the connotations of those terms. Yes, a century ago man-woman relationships, marriage norms, family concepts etc were almost uniform all over the world. Then with industrialisation the West began to make economic, scientific growth in leaps & bounds. Many social codes were rewritten, revised on liberal lines. A huge revolution in the mind-sets, emotional climate of the West has followed with the Orient quickly catching up, thanks to the communication era. No more serious,irking responsibilities, no longer life-time commitments. No unnecessary sanctity to be attached to time-hallowed, tested institution of marriage. The trend is to have a few dates with the partner, "live together" for sometime & decide whether it is worthwhile tying the knot. A sort of test-driving a car. Even if the knot is tied it is not much trouble to untie it. If the car chosen after satisfaction on test trial begins to lose its glamour, if the fancy fades, if a finer model is on the horizon, is it not the wisest thing to dipose the old one & ride away in the new one?(Man-woman equality cent percent in this). Luckily nowadays children dont come automatically. They come only when & if wished. So no botheration of shirking responsibilities. Man is no more the bread winner. Woman can very well look after herself. No parental opposition to fear, no societal norms to be respected, it is a perfectly, ideally free world with free choices. The terms "love" & "kaadhal" in their old sense have become anachronisms. Now they stand for physical attraction & imagined compatibility, to be found out to be false very soon. The noble feeling called love is a concept beyond the imagination of the present generation with its car-mechanic way of choosing a partner with mating instinct at the driver's seat. My exaggerated fears are aroused by the uncensored, ubiquitous projection of adolescent effervescence in the global media. Quiet, sane life doth go on around the world. But this is the impression powerfully thrust upon us every minute of the day.
  
  

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