Topic started by Alter ego (@ bhmas10-74-185-113.cw-visp.com) on Thu Aug 23 09:38:06 .
All times in EST +10:30 for IST.

      Why are women who have been separated from their husbands regarded as destitutes? For instance, if a woman is driven away from her husband's home by her husband and her in-laws soon after marriage because she (or her parents) could not pay dowry, it is not her fault, but society will not then give her the same respect it would give someone who was happily married, simply because she is separated from her husband.

      The point I am trying to make here is that we in India, generally speaking, treat women as if they only deserve to be respected as long as they are happily married. This, obviously, isn't right. Or at least that's my opinion

Responses:

• From: anu (@ 203.124.235.200) on: Wed Aug 29 14:30:04
  
  Yeah you're right. in addition, the divorcees if they're women find it extremely difficult to remarry again in India. This is in a situation in which a divorcee male might get a single girl. In the case of a divorce people always think, 'it's the fault of the woman', whether it might or might not be true in reality.
  
  
• From: anu (@ 203.124.235.200) on: Wed Aug 29 14:30:23
  
  Yeah and in addition, the divorcees if they're women find it extremely difficult to remarry again in India. This is in a situation in which a divorcee male might get a single girl. In the case of a divorce people always think, 'it's the fault of the woman', whether it might or might not be true in reality.
  
  
• From: anu (@ 203.124.235.200) on: Wed Aug 29 14:31:17
  
  oops! sorry for the double posting!!
  
  
• From: usha (@ inktomi2-lut.server.ntl.com) on: Wed Aug 29 20:46:32
  
  Men can marry as many times as they want in an Indian Culture . However women are treated worse than dogs in India when they re-marry again. Well u can't always live in an empty shell marriage when you and your partner can't stand each other anymore . It's just that people in India find it hard to accept divorced women in their society.
  
  
• From: Alter ego (@ bhmas08-72-183-69.cw-visp.com) on: Sun Sep 2 04:26:59
  
  So you guys agree with what I have said. Any suggestions as to how this may be stopped? I think more emphasis against it must be placed at the school level...
  I'd like to write more, but right now I'm a bit busy... I'll be back soon...
  
  
• From: annonmouos (@ cache-loh-aa07.proxy.aol.com) on: Thu Sep 18 18:37:22
  
  i feel women who are divorced are stronger women than married women and whrn they re maary they become better and more gifted because of the traumatic experiences the first time round and they can become better home makers etc i feel more so !
  
  
• From: Shakthi (@ 203-195-199-244.now-india.net.in) on: Fri Sep 19 00:23:18 EDT 2003
  
  Precisely, more than even respect, the sacarsm , insults and humiliations they face, their character gets stamped. The feeling generally prevelant is, she is arrogant who cannot adjust and lead a happy life.
  
  This branding them should be stopped. It would take time, the Solution is for the women who are divorced just to care a hoot for the world!
  
  If a woman is happily married or not is her problem and decision. As a part of society noone has right to brand her or comment on her character or other wise personal life.
  
  
  
• From: :) (@ d150-40-7.home.cgocable.net) on: Fri Sep 19 08:22:37 EDT 2003
  
  "Precisely, more than even respect, the sacarsm , insults and humiliations they face, their character gets stamped"
  
  This is the fate of widows too!!
  
  Does this not mean that our society only has regard for a person if they are successful, if not they kick them?
  
  
• From: Miami (@ 0-1pool108-52.nas4.peoria1.il.us.da.qwest.net) on: Sat Sep 20 14:02:29 EDT 2003
  
  >>the Solution is for the women who are divorced just to care a hoot for the world!
  
  Good solution. That will prove to the world that their opinions aren't all that important and they cannot control less fortunate people with their silly attitudes.
  
  We are not saying that all divorcees are angelic people who are ill-treated unncessarily by devils. But the same ill-treatment is not meted out to men involved and we are talking about double standards here.
  
  Some junkies do not realise that women alone cannot create or keep a good home or society. A place with bad fathers and husbands will give rise to bad daughters and wives. But it is easier for these junkies to put the blame squarely on one side. because that section of the society is meekly taking in any shi*t thrown at them. You will find many such junkies only in the middle aged and older generation people.
  
  The funniest part is, women attract a stigma, only when they are divorced. Not when they commit other 'crimes'. I know a middle aged unmarried woman who became financially broke and is slowly recovering. From her own words, she went broke because she undertook something(I am not disclosing details) beyond her means. She commented discreetly about yet another woman in my presence like this - 'Her character is not good. She is a divorcee'. This is coming from a woman who lost everything due to GREED. Inspite of the bad side of her, she expects due respect but a woman who divorces for whatever reason deserves only bad reputation? These junkies have a long way to go in understanding that they too have shortcomings which another person can see through. That not being divorced is not the highest virtue.
  
  
• From: Mila (@ 014.040.dsl.syd.iprimus.net.au) on: Tue Sep 30 05:59:30 EDT 2003
  
  I totally agree with you guys, whoa I didn't expect to hear of such strong reactions. I actually wrote a small novel about it as well which I presented as my final project in my final year school grading for english. I find that while the older generation of women have been through inequalities and *recognise* these inequalities, they become complicit in burdening younger women with the same restrictions which is completely ridiculous. India may have a great film industry, a rich culture and maybe doing great as far as technology is concerned, but where decent humanity and respect for women is concerned, it is one of the most dispicable countries in the world. I'm disgusted to belong to a society that spits on a woman who doesn't want to be part of the rigid societal mould. Utterly pathetic, and congratulations on the sanity of all your minds to have recognised this.
  
  
• From: vikas chopra (@ ) on: Sat Mar 6 03:11:11
  
  we should respect women she has given birth to society and she is going to take it further and if women is divoeced it diesnt mean that now she should be neglected by the society.time has changed now!
  
  

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