Topic started by Kumar (@ 202.88.152.205) on Fri Mar 28 06:17:47 .
All times in EST +10:30 for IST.

THis one came to my cell today
Tony Blair phones George Bush, and asks"What proof do you have that Iraq has weapons of mass destruction?
Bush replies " we kept the receipts".

Responses:

• From: Skanthavelu Nadarajah (@ edtntnt13-port-229.dial.telus.net) on: Fri Mar 28 08:22:18
  
  Q: What did Adam Bomb sing at this years Christamas concert?
  
  A: Oh Tannen-bomb.
  
  
• From: Shakthi (@ 203-195-199-246.now-india.net.in) on: Sat Mar 29 04:08:31
  
  War is not a joke!
  
  Joke is not a war!
  
  hehe
  
  just a thought!
  
  
• From: Ramadas (@ dclient80-218-17-48.hispeed.ch) on: Sat Mar 29 06:17:53
  
  Madness Translated
  Iraq War Lingo 101
  By RIAD Z. ABDELKARIM, M.D.
  
  Many television viewers worldwide have been confused by the vast amount of military terminology, slogans, and acronyms being utilized in reporting on the ongoing war against Iraq being waged by the United States and Britain. As a service to these news watchers, the following Iraq War Dictionary has been compiled.
  
  "Shock and Awe"--Title of Iraqi resistance strategy, intended to "shock" invading American and British troops and "awe" them with their unexpected ferocity
  
  Operation Iraqi Liberation--alternative name of US military action, but dropped from consideration because of obvious implication of acronym (OIL)
  
  "Imbedded with"--term used to describe primarily Western reporters traveling with American and British troops; can be used interchangeably with "in bed with"
  
  Decapitation strike--term used to describe how Iraqi civilians are being liberated (refer to very graphic pictures at al-jazeera)
  
  Born Again Ba'ath Fundamentalist--term describing Saddam Hussein's recent turn to religious rhetoric
  Umm Qasr and Al-Nassiriyah: Iraqi Sister Cities of Jenin Refugee Camp in Israeli-occupied West Bank
  Friendly Fire: term used to describe strategy employed by coalition troops to liberate Iraqis
  
  NPR--National Pentagon Radio
  Patriot Missile--New weapon to be used by Attorney General John Aschroft to enforce Patriot Act against dissenting Americans
  
  WMD--weapons of mass distraction; can be used interchangeably with "US media"
  
  Precision Guided Weapons--used to describe Pentagon's informal term for "imbedded journalists"
  
  Enemy Combatants: Term used by Iraqi Information Minister Muhammad Al-Sahaf to describe American POWs in attempt to justify their (mis)treatment by comparing them to Johnny Walker Lindh and Guantanamo Bay prisoners, thereby relieving Iraq of need to abide by Geneva Convention
  
  Dud--informal nickname of CNN anchor Paula Zahn; synonym--empty shell
  
  MIA--new acronym for the Arab Leaque
  
  "Between Iraq and a Hard Place"--Term used to describe current position of Coalition troops in the Middle East
  
  CNN--Controlled News Network
  
  Air Jordan--Pentagon's term for available airspace corridors provided by this kingdom
  
  Food for Oil Program--What American troops are offering starving residents of Basra and southern Iraq: "We'll give you food if you give us your oil."
  
  Drone--Pentagon code word for CNN anchors Aaron Brown and Wolf Blitzer
  
  Fratricide--military term used for soldiers killing other soldiers; also applicable to official Arab stance on the war on Iraq
  
  AWOL--another acronym for the Arab League (Arabs WithOut Leadership)
  
  Fictitious--(1) Michael Moore's description of US presidency; (2) In the Middle East, term used to describe "Arab unity"
  
  Sandstorm--obstacle in US forces' attempt to defeat "sand niggers" in Iraq; alternatively, according to US Central Command, "heinous act of terrorism by God"
  MRE--(1) formally, military term used to describe soldiers' rations (Meals Ready-to-Eat); (2) informally, military term used to describe coalition enemies (Muslims Ready for Extermination)
  
  Al-Fallah (translation-"the peasant")-crude Iraqi anti-aircraft weapon-used to down Apache helicopters; not to be confused with Al-Samud missiles; Al-Fallah was not declared to UN Weapons Inspector Hans Blix by Iraqi leadership)
  
  Irregulars-Pentagon term for constipated recruits
  
  Objective Reporting-term used to describe over-dramatic reporting of flak-jacket and gas-mask-clad, gleeful correspondents when US bombs strike their "objectives"
  
  Regime Change-term describing US policy objective vis-à-vis France
  
  FOX News-US State-run media outlet; official White House and Pentagon mouthpiece
  
  MOAB-term used to describe international reaction to US/British Campaign; Mounting Outrage Against Bombing; also Saddam's term to describe his new, nuclear-proof hideout-Mother of All Bunkers
  
  Gutter-apparently, a new Persian Gulf nation serving as temporary home to US Central Command
  
  "Kurds N' Way"-overheard statement by Turkish official regarding situation in Northern Iraq
  
  Operation Dish Out-reported clandestine US military plan to bomb Al-Jazeera's Baghdad office; modeled after similar operation in Kabul
  
  Colon Bowel-Arabic pronunciation of US Secretary of State's name, as heard on Al-Jazeera
  
  King George-reported title requested by President Bush upon the occupation-err, liberation-of Iraq; see also Prince Richard (Cheney), Prince Donald (Rumsfeld), and Prince of Darkness
  
  Republican Guard-term used to describe neoconservative hawks Richard Perle, Paul Wolfowitz, and Douglas Feith
  
  Turkish Ba'ath-previously unheard of Turkish pro-Saddam militia
  
  Cruise-Aid-planned fundraising concert to be held by neoconservative war supporters to raise money for more Cruise missiles; not to be confused with "Crusade"
  
  Targets of Opportunity--White House term for US taxpayers, expected to fund massive war effort.
  
  
• From: TPFKAA (@ 203.106.140.29) on: Sat Mar 29 07:07:22
  
  B*U*S*H = Beat Up Saddam Hussein
  
  
• From: thava (@ 212.119.55.16) on: Mon Mar 31 04:49:58
  
  DEAR HUBBERS,
  after Sept.11
  
  The prime minister of China called Bush on the 11th sept after the attack on the Pentagon."I am sorry to hear about the attack.It was a very big tragedy.....but in case you are missing any documents from Pentagon,we have copies of everything."
  
  Saddam Husein called Bush on the 11th of sept........
  Saddam:Mr.President,i would like to express my condolennce to you.Its a real tragedy.So many people,such great buildings.I would like to assure you that we had nothing in connection with that.It was not us!!
  Bush:What buildings?What people?What are you talking about?
  Saddam:oh,and what time it is in America right now?
  Bush:its 8.00 in the morning.
  Saddam:Ooooopps!!I will call you back in an hour!!Bye.Bye....
  
  
• From: Miami (@ slip129-37-237-218.ma.us.prserv.net) on: Mon Mar 31 22:41:44
  
  The above joke circulated once with Musharaff's name instead of Saddam. I think that is more fitting than Saddam calling Bush! Everybody knows Pakistan's role in Sep 11.
  
  
• From: Raghu (@ 217.158.120.226) on: Tue Apr 1 04:19:17
  
  the main joker of this war, is none other than Bush :)
  
  
• From: Kumar (@ 202.88.152.189) on: Tue Apr 1 05:39:19
  
  Thisone is not about war.IT came in Yesterday's Indian Express
  Ina a fire at the white House, Bush's personal library was fully damaged. He lost both his books. He didn't even finished coloring the second.
  
  
• From: sk (@ 203.145.183.220) on: Tue Apr 1 07:49:11
  
  If Iraq does its called as "occupation".
  If US does the same thing its "Liberation".
  The americans teaching the world a new definition.
  
  
  
• From: Moorthy (@ 210.212.236.182) on: Sat Apr 12 11:11:38 EDT 2003
  
  Why do you get only the pro-war news from BBC and CNN?
  
  Because BBC means Bush Blair Coalition and CNN means Coalition News Network.
  
  

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