Topic started by K.N. (@ 12-233-185-218.client.attbi.com) on Thu Jun 26 05:57:02 .
All times in EST +10:30 for IST.

How do I have my husband tell the truth about all his affairs, I told him in the past so many a times I am willing to forgive him if he told me the truth, but he carries on like he has been never done anything wrong with him gone away from home so many times 40 days, 20 days, 15 days and many nights after nights.

Responses:

• Old responses
  
• From: virgolady2424 (@ pool-141-151-72-195.phil.east.verizon.net) on: Sun Sep 14 16:45:52
  
  it's very hard when you have suspicion.that your husbnd is cheating..but what happens when kids are involved.and see wat is going on..and dad really never home. but people are telling you things. i just act on my own self thought's i investigate i follow with out being noticed .i look at the regular attitude he carries and after 8 yr;s i know him well. so when i see change my suspicions arise and then i have reson to be angry. and be a women and stress out .cause i have put all my love and caring in to the relationship to be betrayed,yes i will be mad. and hurt betrayed.but i can't sit there and play the fool..i will pack my things and leave or he can get out.once my suspicions have been found to b true..guilty he plays cauz why lie and not know i already know ..just testing how much i mean to you obviously ...he never cared.but you love him and you wan to get over this kids are involved and you want to avoid all the mishapps but is it really considered excepting what was done or is it called working it out and savfing your family...yes there is family cheating to mabye that is why he thinks it's ok. not me pay bak is a bitch i can't stand a liar, or cheater.well life never came with a guide to living and why cheaters cheat.. but i know that emotions are from the heart and from the act. of love and pain..but why stay and cry ...and stress. when fredom and love and respect you get from your self give your self time... i know when i was single i loved it...but now i'm not and marriage is hard and a bunch of headaches at times but find it worth while.
  
  
• From: Pheb's (@ cache-dp09.proxy.aol.com) on: Thu Sep 18 08:03:16 EDT 2003
  
  I have a lying,cheating ol'man,but he waits until I go to sleep,then,brings them into MY home and has sex in my HOME,while I'm sleeping.This man is on drugs,He is the most horrible man that I've ever meat!
  
  
• From: Shekhar (@ 61.1.142.164) on: Fri Sep 19 00:09:55 EDT 2003
  
  Phebs,
  
  Think why are you still in this relationship? What is in this relationship for you?
  
  
• From: :) (@ d150-40-7.home.cgocable.net) on: Fri Sep 19 12:32:21 EDT 2003
  
  Betrayal...the worst thing a humanbeing can do to another....yet, this is life for millions.
  
  
• From: Shekhar (@ 61.1.142.186) on: Sat Sep 20 00:05:31 EDT 2003
  
  No. Not betrayal. That is not what I meant.
  
  We persist in something, a relationship, an action, an attitude, a state of being.. because there is always a 'pay back', 'a reward'. How healthy or how wierd and unhealthy is the pay back is the question.
  Ex. I may believe someone who is better than me in someaspect, is bad, because it lessens my sense of inferiority.
  If somebody treats me like a door mat, I have allowed it for some reason, some 'pay back'.
  The world always treats you the way you want it to, consciously or sub-consciously.
  
  
• From: :) (@ d150-40-7.home.cgocable.net) on: Sat Sep 20 12:24:33 EDT 2003
  
  Shekhar,
  You cannot blame a person that falls down when the rug gets pulled from under their feet :)
  
  It is not a question of "pay back" it is just that the rug that was covering a pit gets pulled from under someone's feet and the person finds themselves inside the pit. Climbing out of the pit is not easy, it is a struggle, it sometimes happens, sometimes the pit is too big and the person stays there. A strong hand from outside the pit will pull the person out of the pit fast, but strong hands are hard to come by :).
  
  
• From: TN AvargaL (@ cvg-65-27-251-73.cinci.rr.com) on: Sat Sep 20 13:54:05 EDT 2003
  
  KadavuLin karangaL uRuthi vaayndhavai.
  Avai kashtathil uLLavarai kaappaatRum.
  
  
• From: Shekhar (@ 61.1.142.171) on: Mon Sep 22 00:21:57 EDT 2003
  
  "A strong hand from outside the pit will pull the person out of the pit fast, but strong hands are hard to come by :)."
  
  Dear Punahai,
  
  I believe, except for physical accidents, we write our own life scripts.
  If the carpet is pulled off under my feet and I fall in to the pit beneath, it is I who has dug the pit and I who has put the carpet on top, foolishly thinking, it will be ok.
  After having the inevitable fall, if any body can lift me out, it will be only me and no body else.
  To run our life scripts we play games. However sick the games are, we need others to play out.
  Why should one live with a drug addict and a cheat who has no respect for her? Obviously she feels what she is getting out of the relationship is better than walking out of the relationship. It is for her to analyse and change her life script, which she only can. No 'strong hand' can do it for her.
  
  
• From: :) (@ d150-40-7.home.cgocable.net) on: Mon Sep 22 11:34:26 EDT 2003
  
  Dear Shekhar,
  "it is I who has dug the pit and I who has put the carpet on top, foolishly thinking, it will be ok"
  
  sometimes this is true, not always.
  
  "After having the inevitable fall, if any body can lift me out, it will be only me and no body else"
  
  Not really. Think about it like this. In the pit there are thorns (i.e., emotional and other entanglements), if the person moves the thorns prick/rip, so the person stops trying to climb out for fear of the pricks/rips :)) So you see, the strong hand is required.
  
  
• From: selv (@ acb90514.ipt.aol.com) on: Mon Sep 22 12:10:15 EDT 2003
  
  Not a single attraction listed in www.lonelyplanet.com guide for India is from TN. None in the Beaten Track section either.
  
  Why so? I thought the huge potraits of beloved Amma should have got better attention.
  
  
• From: aundreia (@ 6532214hfc192.tampabay.rr.com) on: Sun Oct 12 08:49:47
  
  I have been married for 17 years. We have two daughters. I was 17 when I married my husband.
  I have always been truthfull to him. I have been told he has steped out of our marriage a while back. But he said that was a lie. I have noticed for the past 6 months, he has been so diffrent. Very angery towards me and the kids. Blames everyone for his own doing's. I put a voice activated recorder in his van, and i got the truth about titty bars he had been to. But then i confronted him about this. He said he was just talking this to fit in with the guys. I then knew with my gut feelings that he had been with someone eles. I told him last Monday that I cant go on like this, That he would have to leave and I would make sure I wasn't home when he gets his clothes. But then I also told him I knew he cheated and if he truly was a man he would step up to the plate and confess what he had done, I would forgive him. He met me that night and told me he had sex with a women he just met at a laundry mat. What was he doing there in the first place, he said blowing off stem and wash his work rags form oyt of his van, He said she over heard us on the phone, she walked up to him and started makeing her move and one thing led to another and they where in his van, and he promised he never got her phone number, he knew I was going to the GYN to be checked for all std's, before he confessed to me the truth, he said he had a 5 min't of fame that could hurt me. he insisted on going to the gyn with me and he had to face my docter, by telling him what he had done, my husband cryed like a baby, he said to please give him one chance he would show me the best man ever. That he wan't to remarrie me. That he want's to be in church as a family. I know he was around the wroung guys that cheating on there wife's were nothing to them. What would you do? I live in fear of std's and I also live now with a brocken heart, I can't understand he just got mad and went for a drive and let some women interfear with our life. Please anyone has any answers. I truly love my husband. I am so very hurt. My kids knew also, they told me that they thought daddy had cheated on me. they are 17 and 14 and they are his children. Please help me im torn apart........Land O Lakes florida
  
  
• From: Kuyil (@ 202.9.166.9) on: Sun Oct 12 09:55:59 EDT 2003
  
  Aundreia, has your husband begged for forgiveness in the past. You have to be sure that he means it and that he wouldn't go back to his old ways once you take him back. Some men tend to do that and it keeps repeating. I think you two should go see some marriage counceller.
  
  
• From: aaa (@ 6535253hfc24.tampabay.rr.com) on: Fri Oct 17 11:26:30 EDT 2003
  
  what is the wife is lying and cheating?
  how should a husband handle it?
  just curious?
  will the same solution given above in the discussion be applied in this case too?
  
  
• From: broken hearted (@ gvhlalnas01pool0-a5.gvhlal.tds.net) on: Mon Dec 1 03:50:20
  
  From:broken-hearted at: gh12700@yahoo.com
  My husband & I were married 16 years in June '03
  I love this man more than life its self... I've never been unfaithful to him in mind or body, he's the only man I desire. Yet, we've had our share of bad times (+ some, @ times), but we've always talked and worked things out.
  We purchased a business together last December, and things seemed to be pretty good between us, until around March, when a very persistant, uglier than home-made-sin, heffier started showing up at our business SEVERAL times a day, EVERY DAY and hanging around from several minutes to several hours at a time, laughing and flirting with my husband, & in view of the public. She would be dressed like a "HOOCHIE_MAMA", tight pants, short-shorts, and her shirts always unbuttoned WAY TOO FAR DOWN, and enough perfume on to choak a mule. I told mu husband that I did NOT like her being there, he said, "She's my customer, and she is welcome there ANY TIME, and can stay as long as she likes, and if you dont like it, You'll get over it"! Soon after this, they were seen, meeting in several places, lots of times, & he would follow her out deserted roads. He even let her drive his precious truck, tha he throughs a fit over if me/our children get a speck of trash/dirt in. He keeps it locked and hides his cell phone frome me too. She even told me, "If me & my husband divorce, there will be NOTHING stopping me from going after your husband!" I've confronted my husband SEVERAL times, but he gets EXTREMELY PISSED OFF at ME and denies everything, saying that everyone is lying to me. I honestly believe with my heart that he's been unfaithful to me because of the drastic changes he's made within his self... He dropped apx 35 lbs in 1 month, and started getting in MY tanning bed. NEVER in 16 years has he wanted a tan, (he even hates the sun)
  he'd never really tried to loose weight either, and he was wearing Ralph Lauren's Safari cologn to work every day, but wouldn't wear it for me, and I bought it for him!
  I've had to ask and or BEG for love and affection from him for about 10 years now, but only this year has it gotten this bad. He wont do anything for/ with me and our 2 children.
  I've almost had a nervous breakdown over the HELL he's put me through this year, I've been seeking mental help just to cope and make it from one day to the next. I dont know why or how I can still have any feelings for this man, but I do, I just cant get past the fact that he's not only been unfaithful to me, he's constantly lying too. He just expects me to put everything behind us and forget it, and not be mad, but I cant, I"m PISSED to the hilt!!! He left me over 2 weeks ago and took our 14 yeaar old son with him (after he completely turned him against me; He even saw the heiffer hanging around his dad throughout the summer, and didn't like it at all)! They are currently living with my MOTHER_IN LAW who has always been sneeky, constantly inviting her son to move home with her! Our daughter is living with me & doesn't care if they dont ever come home, she says,"They'll never change"! I'm still praying and hopeing, but its gonna take a miracle! ALL PRAYERS GREATLY APPRECIATED!!
  How can I get him to confess, and return to being the wonderful man I married over 16 years ago? PS. The heiffer that's after my husband is married with 2 adopted children!
  
  
• From: broken hearted (@ gvhlalnas01pool0-a5.gvhlal.tds.net) on: Mon Dec 1 03:50:29
  
  From:broken-hearted at: gh12700@yahoo.com
  My husband & I were married 16 years in June '03
  I love this man more than life its self... I've never been unfaithful to him in mind or body, he's the only man I desire. Yet, we've had our share of bad times (+ some, @ times), but we've always talked and worked things out.
  We purchased a business together last December, and things seemed to be pretty good between us, until around March, when a very persistant, uglier than home-made-sin, heffier started showing up at our business SEVERAL times a day, EVERY DAY and hanging around from several minutes to several hours at a time, laughing and flirting with my husband, & in view of the public. She would be dressed like a "HOOCHIE_MAMA", tight pants, short-shorts, and her shirts always unbuttoned WAY TOO FAR DOWN, and enough perfume on to choak a mule. I told mu husband that I did NOT like her being there, he said, "She's my customer, and she is welcome there ANY TIME, and can stay as long as she likes, and if you dont like it, You'll get over it"! Soon after this, they were seen, meeting in several places, lots of times, & he would follow her out deserted roads. He even let her drive his precious truck, tha he throughs a fit over if me/our children get a speck of trash/dirt in. He keeps it locked and hides his cell phone frome me too. She even told me, "If me & my husband divorce, there will be NOTHING stopping me from going after your husband!" I've confronted my husband SEVERAL times, but he gets EXTREMELY PISSED OFF at ME and denies everything, saying that everyone is lying to me. I honestly believe with my heart that he's been unfaithful to me because of the drastic changes he's made within his self... He dropped apx 35 lbs in 1 month, and started getting in MY tanning bed. NEVER in 16 years has he wanted a tan, (he even hates the sun)
  he'd never really tried to loose weight either, and he was wearing Ralph Lauren's Safari cologn to work every day, but wouldn't wear it for me, and I bought it for him!
  I've had to ask and or BEG for love and affection from him for about 10 years now, but only this year has it gotten this bad. He wont do anything for/ with me and our 2 children.
  I've almost had a nervous breakdown over the HELL he's put me through this year, I've been seeking mental help just to cope and make it from one day to the next. I dont know why or how I can still have any feelings for this man, but I do, I just cant get past the fact that he's not only been unfaithful to me, he's constantly lying too. He just expects me to put everything behind us and forget it, and not be mad, but I cant, I"m PISSED to the hilt!!! He left me over 2 weeks ago and took our 14 yeaar old son with him (after he completely turned him against me; He even saw the heiffer hanging around his dad throughout the summer, and didn't like it at all)! They are currently living with my MOTHER_IN LAW who has always been sneeky, constantly inviting her son to move home with her! Our daughter is living with me & doesn't care if they dont ever come home, she says,"They'll never change"! I'm still praying and hopeing, but its gonna take a miracle! ALL PRAYERS GREATLY APPRECIATED!!
  How can I get him to confess, and return to being the wonderful man I married over 16 years ago? PS. The heiffer that's after my husband is married with 2 adopted children!
  
  
• From: broken hearted (@ gvhlalnas01pool0-a5.gvhlal.tds.net) on: Mon Dec 1 03:50:34
  
  From:broken-hearted at: gh12700@yahoo.com
  My husband & I were married 16 years in June '03
  I love this man more than life its self... I've never been unfaithful to him in mind or body, he's the only man I desire. Yet, we've had our share of bad times (+ some, @ times), but we've always talked and worked things out.
  We purchased a business together last December, and things seemed to be pretty good between us, until around March, when a very persistant, uglier than home-made-sin, heffier started showing up at our business SEVERAL times a day, EVERY DAY and hanging around from several minutes to several hours at a time, laughing and flirting with my husband, & in view of the public. She would be dressed like a "HOOCHIE_MAMA", tight pants, short-shorts, and her shirts always unbuttoned WAY TOO FAR DOWN, and enough perfume on to choak a mule. I told mu husband that I did NOT like her being there, he said, "She's my customer, and she is welcome there ANY TIME, and can stay as long as she likes, and if you dont like it, You'll get over it"! Soon after this, they were seen, meeting in several places, lots of times, & he would follow her out deserted roads. He even let her drive his precious truck, tha he throughs a fit over if me/our children get a speck of trash/dirt in. He keeps it locked and hides his cell phone frome me too. She even told me, "If me & my husband divorce, there will be NOTHING stopping me from going after your husband!" I've confronted my husband SEVERAL times, but he gets EXTREMELY PISSED OFF at ME and denies everything, saying that everyone is lying to me. I honestly believe with my heart that he's been unfaithful to me because of the drastic changes he's made within his self... He dropped apx 35 lbs in 1 month, and started getting in MY tanning bed. NEVER in 16 years has he wanted a tan, (he even hates the sun)
  he'd never really tried to loose weight either, and he was wearing Ralph Lauren's Safari cologn to work every day, but wouldn't wear it for me, and I bought it for him!
  I've had to ask and or BEG for love and affection from him for about 10 years now, but only this year has it gotten this bad. He wont do anything for/ with me and our 2 children.
  I've almost had a nervous breakdown over the HELL he's put me through this year, I've been seeking mental help just to cope and make it from one day to the next. I dont know why or how I can still have any feelings for this man, but I do, I just cant get past the fact that he's not only been unfaithful to me, he's constantly lying too. He just expects me to put everything behind us and forget it, and not be mad, but I cant, I"m PISSED to the hilt!!! He left me over 2 weeks ago and took our 14 yeaar old son with him (after he completely turned him against me; He even saw the heiffer hanging around his dad throughout the summer, and didn't like it at all)! They are currently living with my MOTHER_IN LAW who has always been sneeky, constantly inviting her son to move home with her! Our daughter is living with me & doesn't care if they dont ever come home, she says,"They'll never change"! I'm still praying and hopeing, but its gonna take a miracle! ALL PRAYERS GREATLY APPRECIATED!!
  How can I get him to confess, and return to being the wonderful man I married over 16 years ago? PS. The heiffer that's after my husband is married with 2 adopted children!
  
  
• From: broken hearted (@ gvhlalnas01pool0-a5.gvhlal.tds.net) on: Mon Dec 1 03:50:41
  
  From:broken-hearted at: gh12700@yahoo.com
  My husband & I were married 16 years in June '03
  I love this man more than life its self... I've never been unfaithful to him in mind or body, he's the only man I desire. Yet, we've had our share of bad times (+ some, @ times), but we've always talked and worked things out.
  We purchased a business together last December, and things seemed to be pretty good between us, until around March, when a very persistant, uglier than home-made-sin, heffier started showing up at our business SEVERAL times a day, EVERY DAY and hanging around from several minutes to several hours at a time, laughing and flirting with my husband, & in view of the public. She would be dressed like a "HOOCHIE_MAMA", tight pants, short-shorts, and her shirts always unbuttoned WAY TOO FAR DOWN, and enough perfume on to choak a mule. I told mu husband that I did NOT like her being there, he said, "She's my customer, and she is welcome there ANY TIME, and can stay as long as she likes, and if you dont like it, You'll get over it"! Soon after this, they were seen, meeting in several places, lots of times, & he would follow her out deserted roads. He even let her drive his precious truck, tha he throughs a fit over if me/our children get a speck of trash/dirt in. He keeps it locked and hides his cell phone frome me too. She even told me, "If me & my husband divorce, there will be NOTHING stopping me from going after your husband!" I've confronted my husband SEVERAL times, but he gets EXTREMELY PISSED OFF at ME and denies everything, saying that everyone is lying to me. I honestly believe with my heart that he's been unfaithful to me because of the drastic changes he's made within his self... He dropped apx 35 lbs in 1 month, and started getting in MY tanning bed. NEVER in 16 years has he wanted a tan, (he even hates the sun)
  he'd never really tried to loose weight either, and he was wearing Ralph Lauren's Safari cologn to work every day, but wouldn't wear it for me, and I bought it for him!
  I've had to ask and or BEG for love and affection from him for about 10 years now, but only this year has it gotten this bad. He wont do anything for/ with me and our 2 children.
  I've almost had a nervous breakdown over the HELL he's put me through this year, I've been seeking mental help just to cope and make it from one day to the next. I dont know why or how I can still have any feelings for this man, but I do, I just cant get past the fact that he's not only been unfaithful to me, he's constantly lying too. He just expects me to put everything behind us and forget it, and not be mad, but I cant, I"m PISSED to the hilt!!! He left me over 2 weeks ago and took our 14 yeaar old son with him (after he completely turned him against me; He even saw the heiffer hanging around his dad throughout the summer, and didn't like it at all)! They are currently living with my MOTHER_IN LAW who has always been sneeky, constantly inviting her son to move home with her! Our daughter is living with me & doesn't care if they dont ever come home, she says,"They'll never change"! I'm still praying and hopeing, but its gonna take a miracle! ALL PRAYERS GREATLY APPRECIATED!!
  How can I get him to confess, and return to being the wonderful man I married over 16 years ago? PS. The heiffer that's after my husband is married with 2 adopted children!
  
  
• From: broken hearted (@ gvhlalnas01pool0-a5.gvhlal.tds.net) on: Mon Dec 1 03:51:43
  
  From:broken-hearted at: gh12700@yahoo.com
  My husband & I were married 16 years in June '03
  I love this man more than life its self... I've never been unfaithful to him in mind or body, he's the only man I desire. Yet, we've had our share of bad times (+ some, @ times), but we've always talked and worked things out.
  We purchased a business together last December, and things seemed to be pretty good between us, until around March, when a very persistant, uglier than home-made-sin, heffier started showing up at our business SEVERAL times a day, EVERY DAY and hanging around from several minutes to several hours at a time, laughing and flirting with my husband, & in view of the public. She would be dressed like a "HOOCHIE_MAMA", tight pants, short-shorts, and her shirts always unbuttoned WAY TOO FAR DOWN, and enough perfume on to choak a mule. I told mu husband that I did NOT like her being there, he said, "She's my customer, and she is welcome there ANY TIME, and can stay as long as she likes, and if you dont like it, You'll get over it"! Soon after this, they were seen, meeting in several places, lots of times, & he would follow her out deserted roads. He even let her drive his precious truck, tha he throughs a fit over if me/our children get a speck of trash/dirt in. He keeps it locked and hides his cell phone frome me too. She even told me, "If me & my husband divorce, there will be NOTHING stopping me from going after your husband!" I've confronted my husband SEVERAL times, but he gets EXTREMELY PISSED OFF at ME and denies everything, saying that everyone is lying to me. I honestly believe with my heart that he's been unfaithful to me because of the drastic changes he's made within his self... He dropped apx 35 lbs in 1 month, and started getting in MY tanning bed. NEVER in 16 years has he wanted a tan, (he even hates the sun)
  he'd never really tried to loose weight either, and he was wearing Ralph Lauren's Safari cologn to work every day, but wouldn't wear it for me, and I bought it for him!
  I've had to ask and or BEG for love and affection from him for about 10 years now, but only this year has it gotten this bad. He wont do anything for/ with me and our 2 children.
  I've almost had a nervous breakdown over the HELL he's put me through this year, I've been seeking mental help just to cope and make it from one day to the next. I dont know why or how I can still have any feelings for this man, but I do, I just cant get past the fact that he's not only been unfaithful to me, he's constantly lying too. He just expects me to put everything behind us and forget it, and not be mad, but I cant, I"m PISSED to the hilt!!! He left me over 2 weeks ago and took our 14 yeaar old son with him (after he completely turned him against me; He even saw the heiffer hanging around his dad throughout the summer, and didn't like it at all)! They are currently living with my MOTHER_IN LAW who has always been sneeky, constantly inviting her son to move home with her! Our daughter is living with me & doesn't care if they dont ever come home, she says,"They'll never change"! I'm still praying and hopeing, but its gonna take a miracle! ALL PRAYERS GREATLY APPRECIATED!!
  How can I get him to confess, and return to being the wonderful man I married over 16 years ago? PS. The heiffer that's after my husband is married with 2 adopted children!
  
  

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