Topic started by Freeq (@ 202.9.147.32) on Tue Jun 25 14:28:05 .
All times in EST +10:30 for IST.

Is it true that marriage affects their career? (professional or otherwise) because of the employment of the spouse? their location of job? their higher education ? family ? ego ? (in double income families)

Both men and women can post their responses with reasons.

Responses:

• Old responses
  
• From: fridge (@ netcache7.is.co.za) on: Thu Jul 4 05:37:59
  
  E.C
  
  It was a French Princess
  
  
• From: Shakthi (@ bangdp-36-239.mantraonline.com) on: Thu Jul 4 07:20:54
  
  
  Ec,
  
  "But indeed a man has to bear more
  responsibilty when his wife is career minded - this I can accept"<<<<<
  
  not at all! It is woman who is bearing more responsibility. She becomes a super woman
  and does a balancing act of good home keeper and good professional .
  (even hard is balancing that wretched monthly balance sheet in the company).
  
  Its tough. Atleast on normal days, when the family is safely alone and enjoying the
  solitude, the husband helps her a lot. But the minute some guests come, involuntarily,
  the men sit out chatting and smoking and what not. The woman goes cleans up the vessels
  (atleast puts up a show) prepares dinner for the guests. And never undermine the role of
  playing a good host!!!!!! Its an art.
  
  Home work! for children, her duty. (Home works nowadays i am told are for parents!)
  the jobs in her list extends.....
  
  Shekhar,
  
  " I don't
  believe both husband and wife need to earn going out. Tell me, how much is
  enough income?? Some women earn sitting at home too (Atleast they think they
  do!!) "<<<<<<<
  
  When we talk on career, we talk on professional level women, or career minded women,
  who DO NOT WORK for the sake of monetary benefit.
  
  Brushing past the economically needly families, carreer minded women crop up from
  uppper middle class family.
  
  They work because, they need...
  
  1. Job satisfaction
  2. Utilising the talent
  3. Ego satisfaction
  4. Achievement
  5. Fame
  6. Lime light.
  
  Now, none of the above has something to do with money, though money may be the basic
  urge to work.
  
  
• From: Shekhar (@ 61.1.142.97) on: Thu Jul 4 09:03:16
  
  EC,
  
  ***Edakkamudakkan - neram sariyillainu ninaikkiren***
  
  I am feeling a bit embarrased to repeatedly request. Will you please translate it to English? I think I should start learning Tamil fast!
  
  
• From: Shekhar (@ 61.1.142.97) on: Thu Jul 4 09:13:34
  
  Shakthi,
  
  ***When we talk on career, we talk on professional level women, or career minded women,
  who DO NOT WORK for the sake of monetary benefit.***
  
  Ha! Nice!! They don't want to work for sake of money (That is their poor husband's plight) but as hobby!! Then they have to choose between their hobby and hubby.
  Or else they have choose their hubby to match their hobby, but what about the poor baby??!!
  
  
• From: ec (@ bryant.rz-berlin.mpg.de) on: Thu Jul 4 10:18:17
  
  fridge :-))
  
  Shakthi -I agree with your view. But I made the statement in a different context, ie., career minded women face more trouble in finding a suitable partner, even by themselves. Because first they expect some compromises from their spouse. Which itself is difficult. Even many men of the same qualification and career won't be ready for that. If at all they find somebody, many times the situation turns out as you described.
  
  When it comes to being career minded, both men and women have some additional requisites regarding their spouse. So both have problems in getting an understanding and supporting better half. Even our Abdul Kalam is unmarried! But women have more problems than men, due to the social setup.
  
  Shekar - you made the statement 'they have to choose between hobby and hubby' so easily. But in our society, if a female wants to devote her life for her career, she has to encounter many unexpected and unpleasant incidences frequently, even from other women! She needs to be more stronger than a devoted single man. It is not so easy.
  
  In short, the situation is not yet fine for a woman to have satisfactory personal and professional lives. Career minded men are in a relatively better situation.
  
  And 'neram sariyillainu ninaikkiren' - 'I think time is not good for you'. Please this was made in a lighter vein. forgot to add a smiley. so now adding two :-) :-)
  
  
• From: sesh (@ user-vcaundi.dsl.mindspring.com) on: Thu Jul 4 12:43:03
  
  "they have to choose between hobby and hubby" - Shekhar
  Another hilarious 'invention' of Shekhar's!
  - as a retort to Shakthi's point about women pursuing career, for fulfilment of certain human goals, other than money.
  
  Shakthi never mentioned career for a hobby.
  
  
• From: fridge (@ netcache7.is.co.za) on: Fri Jul 5 02:46:35
  
  While we are dividing woman into classes let us talk about the economicaly challenged woman, their income is vital for the survival of her family, In S.A at present unemployment is high, it is easier for a woman to get a job than men, results in men staying home and woman working. In the Indian community specifically both men and woman are not ready for It. men are not used to staying at home, Alcohol intake has increased, There would be a few contributing factors with Alcohol, but men in general need a type of Routine, they cannot survive without it,
  Sadly some woman have taken to Extra-marital affairs, also there are other contributing factors, but it is here and happening sad but happenning.
  
  
  Shekhar, sometimes when woman take on the role of caregivers, sometimes the 8-5 shift with a salary at the end of the month is part of that caregiving, it is not a luxury, not a hobby, it is survival.
  
  Slightly off the topic but still part of it. Can someone talk about woman working as prostitutes.
  
  
• From: sesh (@ user-vcaumfb.dsl.mindspring.com) on: Fri Jul 5 11:06:05
  
  "Can someone talk about woman working as prostitutes?"
  
  It is an unjustly vilefied profession.
  
  On a positive note, these poor women really act as a 'safety valve' to society, siphoning off the builtup tensions in several categories of people. (Ask any man whether he has secretely considered or not the impulse to visit a pros, at some moment in his life?)
  
  But at what cost to women? Health ruin, Constant fear, frustrated morality, bad guidance to children, short lived earning capacity, crushed like a withered flower after use etc.
  
  Economic compulsion is the basic reason for this activity.
  
  Govt approved, medically supervised, socially tolerated work homes could be a solution.
  
  
• From: ec (@ bryant.rz-berlin.mpg.de) on: Sat Jul 6 07:22:27
  
  "Govt approved, medically supervised, socially tolerated work homes could be a solution."
  
  I don't think it could be a solution, since anyway prostitution is against the social norms! In some part of their mind they will be certainly regretting for that. However this could make their materialistic lives better.
  
  
• From: Shekhar (@ 61.1.142.120) on: Sat Jul 6 08:07:32
  
  fridge,
  
  ***Shekhar, sometimes when woman take on the role of caregivers, sometimes the 8-5 shift with a salary at the end of the month is part of that caregiving, it is not a luxury, not a hobby, it is survival.***
  
  Sure. I have seen women of enormous perseverance, losing their husbands, practically on the street, but fighting odds with a vengence, eeking livelihood somehow and anyhow, still bringing up and educating their children so successfully. They have looked fragile, but I wish I had fraction of their inner grit and strength.
  I make fun of women only when I hear them talking about women's plight, from their decorated drawing rooms.
  
  
• From: Shekhar (@ 61.1.142.120) on: Sat Jul 6 08:21:44
  
  Regarding prostitution..
  In India, other than top level prostitutes catering only to millionaires, I think 90% of the remaining are forced into prostitution. Young girls are, coerced, kidnapped and sold in brothels from where they have no way out. It is horrifying but true. So to talk of prostitution as a career in India is unrealistic. I don't know about western or eastern countries.
  
  
• From: Shekhar (@ 61.1.142.120) on: Sat Jul 6 08:28:13
  
  sesh,
  
  Ofcourse Shakthi didn't mention hobby. I just twisted her thread to pull her leg!!! You people should stop taking me seriously. Even my wife doesn't!!!
  
  
• From: sesh (@ user-vcaumfb.dsl.mindspring.com) on: Sat Jul 6 12:17:40
  
  "You people should stop taking me seriously. Even my wife doesn't!!!" - Shekhar
  
  We always take your spicy talk, with 'a pinch of salt' :))
  
  Why 'even my wife'? Poor one, always bewidered when to take seriously and when to not?
  
  Humour is the number-one balm to cure so many marital sicknesses :))
  
  
• From: Shekhar (@ 61.1.142.111) on: Sun Jul 7 09:09:04
  
  Without humour your Marital status gets soon turned into MARTIAL status!!!
  
  
• From: Shakthi (@ bangdp-36-242.mantraonline.com) on: Mon Jul 8 05:11:09
  
  Shekhar,
  
  "Without humour your Marital status gets soon turned into MARTIAL status!!!"<<<<<<<
  
  lol :))
  
  "but as hobby!! Then they have to choose between their hobby and hubby.
  Or else they have choose their hubby to match their hobby, but what about the poor baby??!!"<<<<<<<<
  
  Oh baby ! oh baby! (darling)
  Is it hobby or hubby?
  
  If all u want is hobby
  What will happen to hubby?
  
  If all u want is hobby
  dont go for baby.
  
  If hubby is ur hobby
  then he becomes ur baby.
  
  If hobby is ur hubby
  marry not another bobby
  and make his life shabby!
  
  by Shakthi !
  
  hehehe.....( I wanted to post this in poem section) (ouch! dont throw stones!!!!)
  
  
  Fridge and others,
  
  Prostitution as a career in India...I believe has been mentioned unrealistic. But yes....
  
  I was informed sometime back, that there were protests and requests from these women, to make this as recognised career. (not sure if its true, and not sure of the consequences)
  
  But a woman in this field, is pathetic, if she is coerced into it. If she happens to have a child, the plight of the child is worse.
  
  1. No proper pays
  2. Illtreatments
  3. Physical torture
  4. No timings
  5. Lack of social respect
  6. Medical constraints
  
  etc are hazards faced here. I am not sure how many ladies are really undergoing proper medical check ups, for HIV postives or other contageous diseases.
  
  The worse fear is always police men, who can raid them, and cause them severe bruises due to illtreatment. If no cases are booked or successfully solved, these prostitutes become the targets for these cops.
  
  Sickening job, less pay, no respect, no family, no love!
  
  WHAT MORE DOES A WOMAN NEED TO BE UNHAPPY?
  
  
• From: fridge (@ netcache7.is.co.za) on: Mon Jul 8 09:32:23
  
  "Ask any man whether he has secretely considered or not the impulse to visit a pros, at some moment in his life?)"
  A very interesting line, This happens, but what if it happens while you are married, why do men visit prostitutes. , This question is more for the thread, to marry or not to marry. Men you do not have to answer this.
  
  Some guys, married guys are fine with their wives being prostitutes, they bring in good money, and the guys are okay with it, (i think they pretend to be okay with it).
  
  
  
  
  
  

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