Topic started by beforeIbleed (@ 161.142.140.173) on Tue Nov 4 03:38:27 EST 2003.
All times in EST +10:30 for IST.

Sometimes it's just better to talk to strangers, they are unjudgemental, that's why I'm writing to you guys....

I thought I had everything going for me. An honours degree, a high flying career just as soon as I graduated, really cool friends I could hang out with, loads of fun and no worries whatsoever.

But everything changed when I met R, a guy with loads of wit and a charming smile. He is older to me by 10 years, has been married for 6 years, but yet to be blessed with kids. Initially, it was just friendship. I enjoyed his company as much as he enjoyed mine.

But, as collegues, we spend so much time together. To the extent that some ppl even jokingly remark that I am his new girlfriend. Above all, he makes me feel special. Soon, I found myself falling for him.

From liking his wife, I began to envy her. I seem to harbour secret hopes that one day, he will divorce his wife for me.... I feel so horrid. I have values. My parents did not bring me up this way. How can I be in love with a married man?

Every day, I tell myself that I'm going to put a stop to this. And yet, every morning when I see him walking into my office with that charming smile, everything seems to melt away. I convince myself that he is the one. That sooner or later, things will work out. That God has meant for this. That he is the one for me.

But my brains tell me to stop listening to my heart. TO STOP ALL THIS. To get away before it's too late and I'm hurt too much. But it doesn't help when he makes me feel special. When he jokingly admits that I am his girlfriend, or remarks that he has a date with me this weekend.

HELP ME.

Responses:

• Old responses
  
• From: Sharvina (@ 210.187.84.130) on: Mon Jul 26 22:28:34 EDT 2004
  
  You can call me mistress ....what ever you name it. But as i maintained...i know my limitations, i know when to say know.
  Nirosha,my man ( sorry to claim he is mine eventhough i know its only limited by time...and i know he might leave me one day which is ok with me...i wont chase him...or take revenge on him) he is married, with 2 kids...but his sex drive is still very much...i mean very very much alive. I too very agressive in bed. He knows exactly my needs and i know what he likes. This is what the wife fail to deliver.Dont give lame escuses like u said before...tied up with work, no time to make up or dress up...u dont have to dress up...hope u undertand my lines!!!
  
  
• From: geno_the_great_tevadeyal_tulukachi_pun*ndai (@ dsl-201-129-238-141.prod-infinitum.com.mx) on: Mon Jul 26 23:11:02 EDT 2004
  
  ‘‘In the name of Allah the most perverted, the ever lustful lesbian God’’
  The honor or your presence is requested at the Wedding of
  
  ...............................................................Selvi Geno tulukkan
  
  ...................................................Alias Gand of the Pimps (mummudibond / RC)
  
  ........................................................................WEDS
  
  ........................................................... Selvi Roshan Tulukachi Tevadiyal
  
  ..............................................................Insha Allah ALL ARE WELCOME!!!!
  
  
  .............................Best compliments from all Lesbian friednds.
  
  ..............................................................Nikkah starts at 10 AM Sharp on 12 Shawwal 1425 Hijri
  ! Special pork only Dawat-e-walima at 10:30 !!
  
  .......................................................Special N.u.d.e Arabian Belly dance Kalai Nigalchi by Roshan's Mother!
  
  
  
  
  
• From: blubee47 (@ 4.13.25.158) on: Tue Jul 27 01:33:02 EDT 2004
  
  Hey gals,
  It is very interesting how each one feels about their actions, being married myself I agree that a "good" husband would be happy with his wivies attention and pampering. But u see thats where the truth lies, the men u think u r in love with and having fun r just using and throwing u too. Do u think half the men r willing to give up their wives and social status and all that crap for u. Thats why men rule the world, u think u r having fun but the truth is behind ur back they must be laughing about how easy a catch u were or how easy it was to fool u, so dont fall for such scum and waste ur lives, find a nice guy who will really appreciate u and love u. I see u have masters and honours hahaha... have u learnt nothing about life sweeties. What goes around comes around remember so if u spoil one family dont ever expect to have a happy one urselves.
  All the best anyway. Wise dicissions in life.
  
  
• From: SK (@ fast.securenet-server.net) on: Tue Jul 27 02:29:56 EDT 2004
  
  Geno & Surya,
  
  
  Keep your religious fights in other sections. Buzz off from this thread, you idiots.
  
  
• From: Sharvina (@ 210.187.84.130) on: Thu Jul 29 00:31:10 EDT 2004
  
  hi girls just for you info.
  We are going for romantic holiday guess where...Maldieves. will bb there for 2 weeks.
  Hey gilrs i really appreciate all your thoughts. Thank you girls. But i still have my life under my controll...nobody controlls me. so thas why i saids i know my limitation, i know when to take, what to take, and when to say'NO'!!. You know what, i friend who used to advise me on and off...she is married with one kids...she is having an affair with his workmate in the office. The point here is...its not only the man looking for the girls..but sometime its the girls who is asking for more than one. Any way im not advising her in any matter for her. She is on her own. As i said before, wether you are married or not HAVE FUN!!
  
  
• From: Royalty (@ wesout.firstam.com) on: Wed Aug 11 17:54:48
  
  well, I am in a similiar situation except...we
  all live together. His parents, fiance, daughter and younger sisters. I understand the fullest extent of the pain that comes with envy. But the worst of it all is that he has at one time left constantly to be with other woment as well...that show up at the house and pick him and his daughter up. The mom is okay with it all as long as that is what he "says" he wants.
  
  
• From: nirosha (@ j28.stw21.jaring.my) on: Wed Aug 11 21:33:34 EDT 2004
  
  Can't you leave such an awful situation, Royalty? Sounds pretty muddled up for me. How did you get into this mess in the first place? Are you even Indians? or someother race?
  
  
• From: blubee (@ wbar4.sea1-4-5-148-232.sea1.dsl-verizon.net) on: Sat Aug 14 16:48:17 EDT 2004
  
  Royalty,
  I dont know what is making u stay in this horrible "relationship" I can understand the pressure and the dependence u might have developed being in a marriage. Many a time women in India and other countries, we all forget about how independent and strong we used to be and compromise all our life to suite our husbands and families needs but trust me i would never put up with such a jerk. This man is not worth ur sacrifice and commitment. There is no rule that says u have to have a man in life to live one. Be strong dont put up with this, move out and work hard stay in a hostel or stay with ur parents get a divorce and get a job. There r many laws that will get u child support and allymony form this sick man. And make him pay all his life for what he has put u thru.
  All the best.
  
  
• From: Sharvina (@ 210.187.84.130) on: Sun Aug 15 22:42:20 EDT 2004
  
  Hi Royalty,
  I can understand your situation very well. We are both same in a sense. But as i told you girls before, u must understand where do you stand! You got to undesrtand the fundamental! Who got to realise who you are to him. Do you eccept that situation? Do you happy what he is to you? Do you happy what he is giving to you? Do you happy with his presence? If yes than there is no complains, no naggings so whatsever!
  Why do you compalin if you choise to be his mistress?
  Have fun girls thats all.
  
  
• From: nirosha (@ j35.stw21.jaring.my) on: Sat Aug 21 23:58:37 EDT 2004
  
  no woman should ever be somebody's doormat! If he's walking all over you, then it's simply because you're allowing it. Put a stop to it and move out and find your way into the world yonder. Be a Woman of Substance! Have the guts to say No to all your torments and LIVE GIRL! LIVE!!!
  
  
• From: curious (@ dialup-4.224.252.119.dial1.cincinnati1.level3.net) on: Sun Sep 12 21:07:00
  
  Is 20 years older too much?
  
  
• From: Sharvina (@ 210.187.84.130) on: Sun Sep 12 21:51:16 EDT 2004
  
  To me age is secondary. Are you happy with him, is he happy with you, are both of you getting what are you're loking for...thats all counts.
  
  
• From: L (@ 192.30.226.31) on: Wed Sep 15 13:13:59 EDT 2004
  
  If its not one thing its the other. With all the theft, exploitation, suppression, denials, you name it, they still out number prostitute of other ethnicity. Then in the educational institutions, they behave like sluts to get better marks, an old game. This is why the power has shifted from white men to white women. So, Indian/Asian women, don't let them feel too bad. Many of them go out with married men and women too, breaking up marriages. Why do they talk of second, third and even fourth wife and husbands. Yak!
  
  
  
• From: L (@ 192.30.226.31) on: Wed Sep 15 13:26:53 EDT 2004
  
  >they still out number prostitutes of other ethnicity<
  
  Hey, I got this from some part of this very forum in recent months.
  
  All I am saying, Indian/Asian women should stop putting one another down in public places. I am not saying that to go with a married old man (as the topic reads) is a good thing.
  
  
• From: nazim (@ ) on: Mon Oct 11 01:02:56
  
  Hi miss xyz,
  
  Your case is not a special one, it has happened millions of times before and true, history repeats itself. There have been many examples of real life cases of people from a very good family background falling in love with older married males - but we should learn from history, above all we should be honest to ourselves in doing so.
  
  All i can say is - instead of telling urself that he makes u comfortable, his smile is charming, blah blah!, just take a deep breath, close your eyes, just concentrate on yourself and ask - can i build my house on someones tears? can i make my dream come true by shattering others dream? What will my love cost others? Even if i do so will i be happy? - just think about you (not R), and try to answer these questions, but you should be tru to yourself (not your love/heart) in doing to, and trust me you will get the solution. Be honest in following it.
  
  Miss XYZ, problems which seems difficult and impossible to solve, in reality they r very simple. Break IMPOSSIBLE into IM POSSIBLE, after all its just a matter of prespective. The moment you decide you wanna be out of this - you are out of it. Remember the only person who can help you is urself!!! Trust me.
  
  
• From: yetto have (@ illhyd-static-203.199.220.10.vsnl.net.in) on: Wed Oct 20 03:52:16 EDT 2004
  
  Hi all,
  Can anyone help me out for my problem. I could not able to talk to any gals. I am afraid of talking to gals. I feel they will insult me. It happens to me two times. So now i stopped talking to gals. But i don't know why i feel that gals are insulting boyz. Is that true. ? Or i am not capable of talking to gals?
  
  

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